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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Lord Dorwin wins New Hampshire…

Lord Dorwin wins New Hampshire…

by Dennis G.|  January 11, 201211:46 am| 45 Comments

This post is in: Election 2012, Open Threads, Assholes

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Mitt Romney’s speech last night (and really any time he talks) reminds me of this passage from Issac Asimov’s Foundation Trilogy:

“But then,” interposed Sutt, “how would Mayor Hardin account for Lord Dorwin’s assurances of Empire support? They seemed –” He shrugged. “Well, they seemed satisfactory.”

Hardin threw himself back in the chair. “You know, that’s the most interesting part of the whole business. I’ll admit I had thought his Lordship a most consummate donkey when I first met him – but it turned out that he was actually an accomplished diplomat and a most clever man. I took the liberty of recording all his statements.”

There was a flurry, and Pirenne opened his mouth in horror.

“What of it?” demanded Hardin. “I realize it was a gross breach of hospitality and a thing no so-called gentleman would do. Also, that if his lordship had caught on, things might have been unpleasant; but he didn’t, and I have the record, and that’s that. I took that record, had it copied out and sent that to Holk for analysis, also.”

Lundin Crast said, “And where is the analysis?”

“That,” replied Hardin, “is the interesting thing. The analysis was the most difficult of the three by all odds. When Holk, after two days of steady work, succeeded in eliminating meaningless statements, vague gibberish, useless qualifications – in short, all the goo and dribble – he found he had nothing left. Everything canceled out.”

“Lord Dorwin, gentlemen, in five days of discussion didn’t say one damned thing…

Mitt Romney is Lord Dorwin, an emissary from our Galtian Overload running a scam to placate the gullible with meaningless weasel words. As Steve Benen noted this morning, Mittens has been running for President for almost a decade and still cannot offer any reason to justify why he should win, what he would do or how he would improve anything. He is the King of fluff and a master of eliminating meaningless statements, vague gibberish, useless qualifications and empty rhetoric.

That Mittens Lord Dorwin is easily able to bamboozle Republican voters cannot be a surprised to anyone.

Cheers

Oh, and as a postscript, a few pages later Asimov’s Mayor Hardin accurately describes today’s Republican Party and the modern conservative movement:

It’s a worship of the past. It’s a deterioration – a stagnation!

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Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    rlrr

    January 11, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Romney, being a fan of Battlefield Earth will not get the reference…

  2. 2.

    over_educated

    January 11, 2012 at 11:52 am

    Sadly, there is a frighteningly high likelihood that he is going to be our next president.

  3. 3.

    R Johnston

    January 11, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Lord Dorwin has long been one of my favorite analogues for describing practitioners of political gibberish.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    January 11, 2012 at 11:54 am

    So, who is the Hari Seldon who predicted all of this years in advance? And, more importantly, where can we go to see his presentations?

  5. 5.

    IM

    January 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Isn’t he Julius Enderby, robot or almost robot human?

    Of course the thought of Romney obeying the three laws is rather silly.

    But then I still hope for a mule in this primary…

  6. 6.

    srv

    January 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

    You should post a link to this on Krugman’s blog, he’ll get a kick out of it if he sees it – lurvs Foundation.

    @dmsilev: That would be Krugman

  7. 7.

    wrb

    January 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

    I took a glance at Rush’s site and something important is happening: he’s rallying his troops.
    Seems that by trying to incite populist anger at the capitalism of the vulture Newt & Hair are attacking Rush’s life’s work.
    I was wondering how the pivot would work: this is how- Mitt becomes the leader of the anti -socialist army.
    Maybe not the leader they would have chosen, but only the war matters.

  8. 8.

    trollhattan

    January 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

    Mittens has been running for President for almost a decade and still cannot offer any reason to justify why he should win, what he would do or how he would improve anything.

    Based on his loopy speech last night, I am led to believe his presidential “Mission” is to keep us from becoming Europe. I’m shorting my investment in Alps.

  9. 9.

    Yutsano

    January 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

    an emissary from our Galtian Overload

    Why do you make teh Cisco cry?

  10. 10.

    wrb

    January 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I took a glance at Rush’s site and something important is happening: he’s rallying his troops.
    Seems that by trying to incite populist anger at the capitalism of the vulture Newt & Hair are attacking Rush’s life’s work.
    I was wondering how the pivot would work: this is how- Mitt becomes the leader of the anti -soci list army.
    Maybe not the leader they would have chosen, but only the war matters.

  11. 11.

    rlrr

    January 11, 2012 at 11:57 am

    @srv:

    So does Newt Gingrich, though Newtie seems to entirely miss the point of the Foundation series…

  12. 12.

    EvolutionaryDesign

    January 11, 2012 at 11:57 am

    The tag says Open Thread, so, OT: Don’t want to drive Cole to suicide (kinda like the guy), but I imagine this is what it was like in the Tunch household after Big Ben got Tebowed:

    Hitler reacts to Tebow beating the Steelers

  13. 13.

    Ron Beasley

    January 11, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Excellent!
    The Foundation Trilogy – and it’s prequels and sequels – has always been one of the most entertaining was to study stagnation and the decline of civilizations.

  14. 14.

    Butch

    January 11, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Made me think of the chapter in Griftopia where Taibbi talks about the signal words the GOP uses to whip up its base.

  15. 15.

    chopper

    January 11, 2012 at 11:59 am

    i still have trouble wrapping my head around the fact that romney, the formerly pro-choice, pro-gay, pro-HCR and formerly self-described ‘progressive’ governor of taxachusetts, is becoming the standard-bearer of the republican party.

    it’s like they aren’t even trying anymore. is the base just taking a vacation this time around? or have they actually become irrelevant?

  16. 16.

    srv

    January 11, 2012 at 11:59 am

    @rlrr: Not if he thinks he’s the Mule.

    ed: But he and Brooks would have to fight over that.

  17. 17.

    Surreal American

    January 11, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    So, who is the Hari Seldon who predicted all of this years in advance? And, more importantly, where can we go to see his presentations?

    I’m more interested in who the Mule is, and how powerful his/her emotional adjustment abilities will be during this election period.

  18. 18.

    feebog

    January 11, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Mrs. Feebog and I watched him take his victory lap last night. I can’t remember a more vapid and disjointed speech since Palin exited the politcal stage.

    Here is a question. If the Romneytron 2012 does become President, and he does get Obamacare repealed, what takes its place? Do we simply go back to the status quo of 50 million uninsured? Health Insurance companies once again ripping off the American public and dumping people with pre-existing conditions; young people no longer able to be carried on their parents policy? Is that what we go back to? And could one of you so called journalists ask him that question sometime in the next ten months?

  19. 19.

    chopper

    January 11, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    @feebog:

    If the Romneytron 2012 does become President, and he does get Obamacare repealed, what takes its place? Do we simply go back to the status quo of 50 million uninsured?

    romney’s answer: “what am i, a doctor?”

  20. 20.

    dmsilev

    January 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    @IM: Do we have enough data to empirically determine the Three Laws of Romneybotics?

    Law 1: A Romneybot must not harm, or through inaction allow harm to come to, the free acquisition of capital by any means necessary.
    Law 2: A Romneybot must obey all orders from the socially conservative GOP base, unless such orders conflict with the First Law
    Law 3: A Romneybot must ensure its own political survival, unless such survival conflicts with Law 1. Law 2 can suck it.

  21. 21.

    sharl

    January 11, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Great analysis Dennis G. But did you perhaps include a word that unintentionally negates your thesis? To wit:

    He is the King of fluff and a master of eliminating meaningless statements, vague gibberish, useless qualifications and empty rhetoric.

  22. 22.

    wrb

    January 11, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    @feebog:

    Do we simply go back to the status quo

    With Medicaid for the poor?

    Hardly

  23. 23.

    Mino

    January 11, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    @feebog: 50 million uninsured Gonna be a whole lot bigger number than that.

  24. 24.

    IM

    January 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Yes, that sums it up.

  25. 25.

    gogol's wife

    January 11, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    @EvolutionaryDesign:

    That is so funny! You are right, this is the Cole household.

  26. 26.

    Bulworth

    January 11, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    @wrb: So Rushbo is on the Romney bandwagon now? Wasn’t Limbo leading the anti-Romney chorus just a month ago? Time to turn on the ministry of truth machines again and delete any past criticism of the Deliverer and the Party’s New Standard Bearer.

  27. 27.

    rlrr

    January 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    @Bulworth:

    Didn’t Rush Dopehead do the same for McCain in 2008?

  28. 28.

    jackmac

    January 11, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    @feebog: Yes, many more uninsured and the the remaining will be “insured” by junk policies that cost more and more cover less and less. Basically, we’re screwed if Obamacare is repealed.

  29. 29.

    The Moar You Know

    January 11, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Romney’s not black. What other reason does a Republican or firebagger need?

  30. 30.

    jheartney

    January 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    I’ve long thought we were further along in the Foundation narrative, and that the Bushes were the Indburs.

  31. 31.

    Mike in NC

    January 11, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Mitt Romney is Lord Dorwin, an emissary from our Galtian Overload running a scam to placate the gullible with meaningless weasel words.

    But damn, the man knows how to recite stanzas from patriotic music! It’s downright Shatner-esque.

  32. 32.

    The Moar You Know

    January 11, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    So Rushbo is on the Romney bandwagon now? Wasn’t Limbo leading the anti-Romney chorus just a month ago?

    @Bulworth: We have always been at war with Eastasia.

  33. 33.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    January 11, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Romney; the decaffeinated, non-alcoholic, diet wine of the Right! 0 calories with that vague after taste you like!

  34. 34.

    KXB

    January 11, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    Wait, Real Americans can abstain from caffeine & alcohol and speak French?

  35. 35.

    Ed Drone

    January 11, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    @IM:

    Isn’t he Julius Enderby, robot or almost robot human?

    No, Julius Enderby was the Commissioner of Police who assigned detective Lije Bailey to work with R. Daneel Oolivaw, the humanoid robot. It turns out (spoiler alert) that Enderby had done the murder, but essentially by accident, since he thought he was destroying a robot (R. Daneel).

    No, the Romnibot II model currently in operation is closer to Marvin, the robot in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe, whose morose ramblings are almost as depressing as the Texas GOP platform from 2008.

    Ed

  36. 36.

    Surreal American

    January 11, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    @Ed Drone:

    No, the Romnibot II model currently in operation is closer to Marvin, the robot in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe, whose morose ramblings are almost as depressing as the Texas GOP platform from 2008.

    Take that back! There’s no way the Romnibot II could ever be as awesome as Marvin the Paranoid Android.

  37. 37.

    middlewest

    January 11, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    I thought it was well understood that Harry Seldon has been revealing the future through the Onion for over a decade now.

  38. 38.

    S. cerevisiae

    January 11, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    I like the Krugman as Hari Seldon analogy because I am often reminded of his trial scene where Lord Chen challenges him on the inevitability of the collapse of the empire and Seldon replies that nothing can stop the collapse but it could be hastened greatly if the empire was foolish enough to stop his plan (as he told it to them).

    This is how I see America right now with collapse on the horizon but if the GOP regains control we can speed up the timetable significantly. Without even the tepid stimulus efforts of Obama we would likely still be in free-fall.

  39. 39.

    Judas Escargot

    January 11, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    @feebog:

    Are there any published (and reliable) numbers telling us how many people will be insured under ACA on Jan 19, 2013 who would not have been without ACA? We’d then be able to tell people that “X million folks will essentially be thrown onto the trash pile by Romney and a GOP Congress on their first day in power”.

    I know about the dependents under 26, and about some of the rules regarding pre-existing conditions, but I’ve never been able to find a straight number.

  40. 40.

    Johannes

    January 11, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    @dmsilev: How about Mark Twain, who in his Autobiographical Dictations, predicted the rise of the Plutocracy?
    ETA: Krugman’s correct enough, just too close in time, in my opinion.

  41. 41.

    virag

    January 11, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    lord dorwin? lord dorwin?? jesus, it’s not often you get foundation dragged out into the light these days. good show.

  42. 42.

    Judas Escargot

    January 11, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    @Bulworth:

    So Rushbo is on the Romney bandwagon now? Wasn’t Limbo leading the anti-Romney chorus just a month ago?

    Zero surprise… didn’t he perform the exact same twirl with McCain back in 2008?

    (Weird image of that hippo-ballerina from Fantasia with Rush’s head on it just popped into my head as I typed that. Ew.)

  43. 43.

    Paul in KY

    January 11, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    @dmsilev: Ha, ha! Good one.

  44. 44.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    January 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    So is anyone marketing these bumper stickers yet?:

    MITT ROMNEY HAS BAIN DAMAGE

  45. 45.

    Mattxyz

    January 11, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    MUP is dead. Get use this:

    President Mitt Romney with the GOP controlling both Houses.

    I’ll enjoy watching the heads explode around here after November 6th.

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