Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

He really is that stupid.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

I really should read my own blog.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

You are here: Home / The very serious Glenn Beck

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  1. 1.

    feebog

    Does anyone take Glen Beck seriously anymore? Really? The guy is a one car clown show that not even Faux Noose could tolereate.

  2. 2.

    maya

    Yeah, the Founding Fathas were often seen thumbing rosary beads meandering around the streets of Philadelphia prior to putting their John Hankochs to the Constitution. Or maybe they were benwa balls.

  3. 3.

    Ken

    Shouldn’t that read “If you can’t serve my God, you aren’t free”? Because that’s the bishops’ argument.

  4. 4.

    c u n d gulag

    Yes, Glenn – and most REAL Catholics, are LAPSED Catholics – largely because they’re tired of the paternalistic Luddite world view and policies of supposedly celibate men in the Church hierarchy, but who are, in reality, child-schtupping old male geezers who hate and fear women.

  5. 5.

    Guster

    They’ve done a genius job pushing the idea that all religious liberty inheres in the employer, and none in the employee.

    I can’t tell if that’s the whole point for them. Corporations are people and the ‘right to work’ is the ‘right to pay workers less’ and ‘religious liberty’ is being forced to adhere to your boss’s religious code.

  6. 6.

    Suffern ACE

    Egad. It’s an odd sentiment, but no, we are not all catholics. In fact, many are purposefully not catholic to varying degree.

  8. 8.

    DanielX

    Maybe you are a Catholic now, Glenn – but not me. You can keep all the guilt for yourself. I know that your lack of freedom to oppress others amounts to oppression for you. Sucks, doesn’t it?

  9. 9.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Guster: Yup. They’re all about the “religious liberty” of “job creators.” It’s total fucking bullshit on a stick, and has never been even slightly close to the way we think and act with regard to religion in America.

  11. 11.

    SiubhanDuinne

    “We are all Catholics” seems an especially wacky line coming from someone who is famously a Mormon.

  14. 14.

    Bex

    @DanielX: The LDS church that Glenn joined would be interested to hear that he is a Catholic now. Or is it, whatever, we’ll just baptize him when he shuffles off this mortal coil?

  15. 15.

    THE

    If you can’t serve your God you are not free.

    He’s not my God you fucking moron.
    I escaped — Now I am free.

  16. 16.

    Anya

    Wasn’t Glenn Beck raised as a Roman Catholic and then converted to mormonism. If Catholicism is so hot why did he abandon it for Joseph Smith?

  18. 18.

    geg6

    I fucking left that goddamned church and Glenn Beck can go fuck himself with the triregnum. I am proudly, loudly, and insistently NOT fucking Catholic and I want nothing to do with them or their fucking backward ass ways and fear and hatred of women.

    Fuck, but this kind of shit just pisses me off royally.

  20. 20.

    harlana

    i’m loving it, too, DougJ – i say, keep it up guys! the “rolling pin” of justice awaits you in the GE!

  21. 21.

    fasteddie9318

    I feel for some of the people working there, but for the good of the country that paper seriously can’t go out of business fast enough.

  24. 24.

    Poopyman

    @Bruce S:

    First graph:

    I am a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but today, I call myself a Catholic. Why? Because the state is telling the Catholic Church to violate its principles and teachings. So if you are a person of faith, you must call yourself a Catholic.

    It’s on the WaPo site, if you want to read it. I’m not reading any further than that.

  26. 26.

    Spaghetti Lee

    It’s amazing how much establishment media is flogging the winger perspective on it, though.

    Four words: They. Got. Nuthin’. Else. This is political kamikaze, whether they know it or not.

  28. 28.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @harlana:

    Yeah, I just kind of laughed at Santorum telling mainline Protestants that they aren’t ‘real Christians’ any more, and now we’ve got this. For a long time it was the Catholics who weren’t ‘real Christians.’ The idea of Southern Baptist Republicans marching arm in arm with them was laughable, what, 20 years ago? 10? And now you’ve got scum like Gingrich actually converting to Catholicism to get in with the lunatics who run the church. Speaking as an ex-Catholic, it’s embarrassing.

  29. 29.

    General Stuck (Bravo Nope Zero)

    Unmarried female personnel are mustering into cadres donning full battle dress for the coming election. Don’t get in their way to the voting booth. You might get trampled.

  30. 30.

    beltane

    Maybe Glenn Beck is feeling very Catholic-y these days but Catholic voters in Michigan sure aren’t. According to the crosstabs in PPP’s latest poll of Michigan, Mitt Romney is enjoying quite a wide lead over Rick Santorum among Catholic voters. In fact, it looks like Catholics support him more than any other group http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/02/19/1066538/-Breaking-PPP-Michigan-Romney-gains-11

    This should not be a surprise to anyone familiar with actual Catholics as opposed to the mythical Catholics of the Beltway media’s imagination.

  33. 33.

    Suffern ACE

    You know, if we just started a rumor that this birth control was just a way for us Catholics to take over the assembly halls, we might produce a rather beneficial split.

  34. 34.

    Mark B

    I kind of expected a right wing jihad to eventually hit America, but about birth control? You think they’d pick an issue which wouldn’t automatically piss off more than half of the population.

  35. 35.

    Smiling Mortician

    @James King: This caused me briefly to fantasize that the whole Catholic kerfuffle is a six-dimensional chess move by the Romney people to make the country fear a Catholic presidential nominee (Gingrich or Santorum) as Peale feared JFK in 1960. But then I remembered who Romney and his people are, so . . . I’m back at “They’re all just fucking insane.”

  36. 36.

    Betsy

    I still can’t grasp how corporations (spun off by churches to operate as employers) can have religious freedoms, sin, get pregnant, have abortions, or go to hell.

    Or did Citizens United grant some rights and capacities that I missed?

  38. 38.

    grass

    I look forward to the GOP adopting the option to follow Sharia law – instead of, you know, regular law – to their manifesto. It’s almost like these idiots don’t think through their ‘solutions’ further than the first step.

  39. 39.

    harlana

    @Baud: yeh, i remember that! idiotic then, idiotic now – it’s pretty bad when you have to start borrowing from Huckabee for an “original” thought.

  42. 42.

    J R in WVa

    I am speechless, no one tell my wife about this!

    I’m with the “We are all women now” set of folks, and I hope no matter who the R-Pugs nominate we manage to somehow take back enough of congress to get things done.

    ‘Cause if the R’s have enough of congress it’s gonna be all impeachment, all the time, if they lose the White House.

    Guess I wasn’t as speechless as I thought. Pretty good for speechless, actually, don’t you think?

  44. 44.

    bemused

    My democratic, over 90 FIL just asked me “what happened to that guy they fired from Fox”. I told him Beck is still on the radio but no one in the media bothers to mention him anymore. FIL is having more and more trouble remembering names but he doesn’t forget a fathead. We usually guess who FIL is talking about by his hilarious descriptions. He can put a name to Rick Santorum, he calls him Santorium, without trying to be funny.

  49. 49.

    OzoneR

    “Serve” and “Free” are words that are not analogous. The word “serve” does not give any indication of “free” and the word “free” implies you’re doing the opposite of “serve”

  51. 51.

    Smiling Mortician

    Started re-reading The Handmaid’s Tale the other day. It does not feel so fiction-y this time around.

  53. 53.

    Betsy

    Is this the same Glenn Beck that wanted to outlaw a particular house of worship within a certain distance of the 9/11 site?

  55. 55.

    Rick Taylor

    The right wing is still having more success than I’d like keeping the matter framed as an issue of religious liberty, and whether Catholics ought to be required to fund icky things they don’t like. Birth control is part of this, but it’s really an attempt by Republicans to end Obama’s health care reform entirely. Once insurance companies are free not to supply any service they’re willing to say is morally objectionable, and once people are free not to buy any insurance they don’t care for, we’re back to the system we had before healthcare reform, with uninsured kids and people with pre-existing conditions unable to get coverage.

  57. 57.

    Betsy

    @Rick Taylor: That’s right — this is all about kneecapping Obamacare.

    Since they can’t repeal it (and aren’t serious about replacing it), they’ll settle for a tactic that will (1) functionally eviscerate the ACA’s central mechanisms while (2) also supplying a handy rallying cry to get the culture warriors stirred up.

    Extra features: (3) it distracts from the economy, (4)favors corporate interests over those of workers, and (5) gets all up in between women’s legs at the same time!

    Sort of a quintifecta.

    It has the hallmarks of a Rovian origin, if you ask me.

  58. 58.

    RSA

    @CaptainFwiffo:

    Servitude and freedom are antonyms. This is basic fucking English.

    I’d also add that war is peace, ignorance is strength, and Glenn Beck is no George Orwell.

  59. 59.

    pseudonymous in nc

    As I said in the thread late last night, I can’t think of a better way to alienate rank-and-file Catholics than having non-Catholic nutjobs like Beck throw on a red beanie and declare solidarity with the hierarchy.

  60. 60.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Betsy: But, here’s the thing. We just don’t, as a nation, presume that _employers_ have “religious liberty” like this. We never have. It takes all of two seconds to think of infinitely many things you’d like to do in your life out of the grasp of your _employer’s_ religious and ethical views. Anyone on whom “religious liberty” framing works hasn’t thought it through for even those two seconds. Gaaaaahh.

  62. 62.

    Nina

    The obvious solution would be to expand Title X birth control coverage to the whole country, then nobody’s churches would be paying for it.

    Problem solved.

  64. 64.

    WereBear

    I know they think the rallying cry will be “Religious Freedom!” which has enough resonance for a thousand blue-bottomed Mel Gibson clones.

    But once it gets sound-byted, it’s going to be “What’s all that about?” and the answer is “Birth control.”

    And please, people are so in favor of birth control…

  65. 65.

    Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor

    If you can’t serve your God, you are not free

    Which implies that to be free, you must be a slave to God.

    So… freedom really is slavery!

  66. 66.

    jibeaux

    Do watch the “Really?! with Seth & Amy” bit from SNL. As someone else said upthread, the Huckster used it first.

  67. 67.

    Splitting Image

    Because the state is telling the Catholic Church to violate its principles and teachings. So if you are a person of faith, you must call yourself a Catholic.

    Strong words coming from a guy who once said that people should run away from a church that teaches social justice.

  71. 71.

    gnomedad

    @Paul in KY:

    They will call it ‘Curia Law’. Same thing, more or less.

    Actually the RC Church calls it “Canon Law”, which is a shame, because “Curia Law” would rhyme.

  73. 73.

    jimmiraybob

    This is why the Auto-da-fé followed by a good roasting was not just fun and good family entertainment, it also offered clarification and education. This kind of confusion would not have been tolerated in a properly ordered Medieval Catholic community. Damned secularists ruined everything. Damned Muslim Atheist Deist Obama bin Kenyan, also too. And Protestant heretics. And witches.

  74. 74.

    Mnemosyne

    By the way, if any evangelicals solemnly tell you that being anti-abortion is an ancient and Biblical belief, they’re full of shit:

    The ‘biblical view’ that’s younger than the Happy Meal

    It’s pretty funny how fundie Protestants still talk about Catholics not being “real” Christians and yet they have wholeheartedly adopted the non-Biblical position of the Catholic Church that abortion is bad. Go figure.

  75. 75.

    Linda

    Um, if by that he means “most of us will use artificial birth control and quietly flip off bossy church leaders,” then he is on the money. We ARE all Catholics.

  76. 76.

    Ron

    Every time I hear this now I hear Seth Meyers saying “You know who aren’t all Catholics now? All Catholics!”

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