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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Just Another Day in Paradise

Just Another Day in Paradise

by John Cole|  March 16, 201211:34 pm| 80 Comments

This post is in: Dog Blogging, Open Threads

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This evening I cut Lily’s nails, and I accidentally cut one a touch too close, and drew a little blood. Obviously, I felt bad about it, but she seemed to be in no pain, walked fine, and didn’t limp or act gimpy on the walk right afterwards.

I just walked into my bedroom, where Lily has been snoozing all night, and my bed looks like a murder scene. It seriously looks like something out of American Psycho. There are bloody stains all over the bed, all over the duvet comforter, on the pillows, and they sunk through the sheets into the down feather bed and into the pillows. I immediately freaked the fuck out, not making the connection between the toenail and the blood, and for a brief moment had this terrified belief that Lily had Parvo and that was bloody vomit/diarrhea (I’m an equal opportunity hypochondriac). How does this much blood come from one toenail?

So, basically, I saved 10 bucks cutting Lily’s nails at home and spent $300 or more on bedding. But you know what? I’d burn multiple hundred dollar bills instead of my one true love getting Parvo.

How is your night going?

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80Comments

  1. 1.

    Martin

    March 16, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    We use a Dremel with a wood sanding drum to do the dogs nails. Virtually no risk of going too deep. Just need to not go too long on one nail or it gets hot.

  2. 2.

    Southern Beale

    March 16, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    I cut one of my dog’s nails too close once, and it was awful. First of all, she was clearly in pain and I felt like SHIT. Second of all, she tracked blood ALL over the house. Like, pools of it everywhere.

    And also, I felt like shit.

    So, that was the last time I’ll ever do THAT.

  3. 3.

    Diana

    March 16, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    Don’t you let her outside?

    I’ve always been under the impression that indoor/outdoor pets don’t need to have their nails cut. Works for cats, anyway.

  4. 4.

    Guster

    March 16, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    My son is maybe actually not wetting the bed. Finally. He’s seven.

    But it means I can’t sleep, waiting for him to call out that he’s had an accident.

    No blood, at least.

  5. 5.

    Southern Beale

    March 16, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    As for how my evening was, we went to the downtown Nashville Public Library and heard a reading from my favorite author, TC Boyle. He read a short story and answered some questions. He did a signing but I didn’t want to wait in line.

    And then we went and ate sushi and now we’re watching Bill Maher. Just your typical liberal evening.

  6. 6.

    debit

    March 16, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    I gave the cat an enema. Obviously, I am living the dream.

  7. 7.

    Southern Beale

    March 16, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    @Diana:

    Works for cats, anyway.

    You looked behind the sofa lately?

  8. 8.

    Southern Beale

    March 16, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    Also, since we’re talking pets, I’ve been having what I guess is a sciatica outbreak, shooting pains in one leg if I sit too long (what, me go to a doctor? Never!) and thought maybe if I sat in a different, sturdier chair it would be better. So now I’m in a different chair and apparently I forgot to clear it in advance with one of the cats because he’s quite sure I’m in HIS chair.

  9. 9.

    BruceFromOhio

    March 16, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    Gaia, fucking grow a pair. You learn how close and how far, watch closely when you are done, and for Gaia’s fucking sake give yourself some slack.

    They heal. They forgive. You remember.

    That’s why you are all there.

    @debit: That takes brass. Cats don’t forget that kind of journey.

  10. 10.

    Southern Beale

    March 16, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    @debit:

    I don’t even want to know how one would begin to do that.

  11. 11.

    jl

    March 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    Sorry that Lily got a little hurt, and hope her toenail heals up OK.

    I am concerned about Cole’s interpretation of the ‘bachelor life’ code. Wash it all quick and the stains will fade enough and you declare it all more or less OK.

  12. 12.

    redshirt

    March 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    Chillin’ in Gondolin, thinkin’ ’bout Orcs.

  13. 13.

    BGinCHI

    March 16, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    This is a really depressing thread so far.

    Especially the TC Boyle part.

  14. 14.

    Cat Lady

    March 16, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    @Southern Beale:

    I don’t even want to know how why one would begin to do that.

    Also.

  15. 15.

    balconesfault

    March 16, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Break out the hydrogen peroxide before you do anything else.

  16. 16.

    kwallio

    March 16, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    I once quicked my bunnys claws..in the ensuing struggle my living room ended up looking like a blood spatter lab. It got all over me too.I had no idea the claws bled that much. The bunny was fine, I was fine. It took a couple of hours to stop bleeding too.

  17. 17.

    Triumph

    March 16, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    Believe it or not, you can use superglue on a nail you clip too close to stop the bleeding. I know it sounds stupid but it works and doesn’t harm the animal, unless you’re like me and have a basset hound that just wants to lick the damn stuff off and then barf it up.

  18. 18.

    BGinCHI

    March 16, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    Also, I’m pretty sure Parvo is a company in Finland who make running shoes.

    Seriously, though, it would be just my luck to cut the dog’s nails like that, feel like I’d had a great DIY experience, then have it turn out to be a disaster. It’s why Mrs. BG and I split baby duties in certain ways. There are some things I’d just rather have other people do.

  19. 19.

    debit

    March 16, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    @Cat Lady: The cat in question is elderly and has hydration issues. Usually some IV fluids and some Metamucil in his wet food is enough to keep him regular, but sometimes extraordinary measures are called for.

  20. 20.

    Wonkie

    March 16, 2012 at 11:51 pm

    I don’t want to be gorss here, but if John ever gets to the point of sharing the bed regularly with a human female, there will upon ocassion be blood on the sheets.

  21. 21.

    BGinCHI

    March 16, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    @Wonkie: I was thinking she’d cut him too.

  22. 22.

    Cat Lady

    March 16, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    @debit:

    IV fluids? How old is this cat?

  23. 23.

    BruceFromOhio

    March 16, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    @kwallio: Bunny would fight, then chill. Laid gently on his back, he would zone, almost like he was dead. Then at about the seventh or eighth snip, he would realize he was zoning and twitch violently. Once we learned to wait for that to pass, all went well. And always change the bedding before you start, they have reduced chance of infection afterwards.

    Peroxide on hand is good, so is some baking soda paste for the linens in case things go awry. And a big glass of something with alcohol in it (for the vet. and the assistant. afterwards, naturally.)

  24. 24.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 16, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    @debit: May just be me, but that’s way beyond what I’d call an “extraordinary measure.” I have two cats and can’t begin to imagine how you’d do that.

  25. 25.

    cmorenc

    March 16, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    @John Cole:

    Keep some STYPTIC POWDER on hand when you cut the dog’s nails, the purpose of which is to quickly stop bleeding from minor nicks and cuts (such as people nicking themselves shaving). It’s available at drug stores in half-ounce containers, one of which should last you the dog’s lifetime of nail clippings.

    We have an Italian Greyhound, and my wife is a little OCD about clipping the dog’s nails, and nicks one of them a bit close about every other clipping episode, which results in some oozing of blood. BTW: we have white wall to wall carpet throughout most of the house, but the styptic powder has prevented any bloody disasters from the nail clipping, though I (who am always the dog-holder rather than cutter in these episodes) will hold onto the dog an extra couple of minutes after applying the styptic powder before letting the dog go, to make sure it’s had time to do its thing. Unsurprisingly, the dog is a nervous drama queen during nail clipping sessions, and I have to hold her firmly to keep her still and put up with her yip with every clip. So a dog like Lily who takes nail-clipping sessions calmly without any fear is a blessing.

  26. 26.

    nalbar

    March 16, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    They sell commercial products for this at pet shops. You simply dip the toe nail it it. I use it for my parrot.

    But in a pinch use flour or corn starch.

    nalbar

  27. 27.

    debit

    March 16, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    @Cat Lady: 21, pushing 22. Max.

  28. 28.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    March 16, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    @cmorenc: Second the Styptic. My vet-tech friend recommended it to me. She said also if you can’t get that, you can draw the hurt nail gently along a bar of soap.

  29. 29.

    Diana

    March 17, 2012 at 12:00 am

    @Southern Beale: not the sofa, the wool rug. They untie the little knots.
    fortunately the rug was 75% off….

  30. 30.

    marybdvm

    March 17, 2012 at 12:02 am

    Just make sure you either get her vaccinated every couple of years or have her antibody titers checked and she won’t get parvo and a few other nasty dog diseases. Keep her on her heartworm and flea control medications and that will take care of few more potential problems. Feed her either a wholistic type dog food or cook for her-lots of good recipes available. There’s also a powder that helps stop the bleeding if you clip her too close again. don’t worry too much though, she’ll be fine. Love em like crazy while they’re here. I lost mine last Wed on my birthday while I was on Reserve duty in Colorado. Sucky birthday.

  31. 31.

    Corner Stone

    March 17, 2012 at 12:06 am

    @Wonkie:

    I don’t want to be gorss here, but if John ever gets to the point of sharing the bed regularly with a human female, there will upon ocassion be blood on the sheets.

    He’s clearly more at risk for this from Lily.

  32. 32.

    WaterGirl

    March 17, 2012 at 12:06 am

    Cole, I think you’re supposed to keep a little bowl of cornstarch at your side when you cut their nails so that if you accidentally cut too much, you can immediately dip the nail into the cornstarch, which immediately stops the bleeding.

    Not that I think you’re likely to cut Lily’s nails again any time soon.

    Edit: forgot to add that I’m sorry you both had to go through that. I’m pretty sure it was harder on you than on Lily. I kept going back to look at Lily’s photos from last night’s post. I can’t take my eyes off Lily’s eyes, she is looking right at you and she LOVES you so much.

  33. 33.

    Calming Influence

    March 17, 2012 at 12:10 am

    I have a styptic pencil (because I shave with a safety razor), and that or corn starch will help stop the bleeding. Nail beds get a buttload of blood flow, so it’s really wise to leave nails too long rather than too short.

    Razor: Merkur;
    Blades: 0.50$ each, closest shave evah. (Bullshite QuadBlades: $2/blade)
    Wasted packaging: minimal.

    So I nick myself once and a while. I’m a man. Who gives a fuck?

  34. 34.

    MikeTheZ

    March 17, 2012 at 12:14 am

    @debit: Holy crap! Old kitty is old. That’s awesome.

  35. 35.

    Jewish Steel

    March 17, 2012 at 12:15 am

    The quick will bleed like a son of bitch. That sucks.

  36. 36.

    BD of MN

    March 17, 2012 at 12:17 am

    We were just hanging out, enjoying the 80 degrees, in Minnesota, in March… I grilled for the extended family tonight; a whole chicken, burgers, potatoes, asparagus and pineapple… Although the mosquitoes didn’t get the message that Al Gore is fat, since a couple of the members of our posse got fed on already tonight…

    It was a needed distraction from a tough week, last weekend we made the ultimate decision, putting Bruno to sleep. (if you remember from xmas day, here he is, or turn to December of your BJ calendar…) I know it was the right thing to do, but I was bawling like, well, someone that had to put his dog to sleep… we had 10 years together after we rescued him from the Humane Society… Our vet referred us to a group of vets that do in-home euthanasia, as tough as it was for the family, I really can’t imagine doing that in an exam room…

  37. 37.

    PTirebiter

    March 17, 2012 at 12:17 am

    The styptic powder works great. unfortunately the first time I needed to use it I felt every bit as awful as it sounds like Cole did. I am incapable of rational behavior when it comes to our dogs. On another note, there have been a three unrelated rescue donkeys available in my neighborhood this week. It must have something to do with the economy but I really don’t know. The shelter asks for $100 to cover their costs. I kind of want one.

  38. 38.

    PTirebiter

    March 17, 2012 at 12:17 am

    The styptic powder works great. unfortunately the first time I needed to use it I felt every bit as awful as it sounds like Cole did. I am incapable of rational behavior when it comes to our dogs. On another note, there have been a three unrelated rescue donkeys available in my neighborhood this week. It must have something to do with the economy but I really don’t know. The shelter asks for $100 to cover their costs. I kind of want one.

  39. 39.

    kideni

    March 17, 2012 at 12:21 am

    Styptic, cornstarch, and flour are all good. I have several shirts that became nightshirts after I mangled guinea pig nails (with black nails, you can’t see anything; you try to just take a tiny bit off at a time, but then the little guy makes a sudden jerk and you’re feeling horrible). It’s awful to be the cause of that pain. The dog is so sensitive to nail clipping that I can’t get anywhere near her toes with the clipper. Fortunately, longs walks on pavement usually keep the nails trim, and she tends to take care of her dewclaws on her own (yes, she chews them). For those rare times that human intervention is needed, it’s worth spending ten bucks on a professional. She’s only 37 pounds, but it’s 37 pounds of pure, bucking muscle and I’d probably have to sit on her to even get one nail, and then she probably wouldn’t want to come near me for days.

  40. 40.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 17, 2012 at 12:21 am

    Oh, poor Lily. I second what everyone else has said about styptic and cornstarch. But mostly, poor Lily. By the way, I really loved the photos of her last night. What a total look of love she puts on you.

    Biggest news of my day: leaving work today I managed to get all tangled up in the fringes of a Presidential motorcade. Yeah, that President. No, I didn’t actually get to see him, just sat for the better part of 40 minutes in non-moving midtown-Atlanta Friday-rush-hour traffic. Counted at least 25 motorcycle cops. Good thing I’m an Obot.

  41. 41.

    Cat Lady

    March 17, 2012 at 12:23 am

    @debit:

    You’re a good mommy. Max is a lucky guy, I think.

  42. 42.

    pseudonymous in nc

    March 17, 2012 at 12:26 am

    Definitely styptic. Stings like a mofo at first, but it contracts the capillaries.

    @Southern Beale: I know the feeling. I moved an office chair out to the kitchen to enjoy the morning sunlight, and it was very definitely claimed by Senior Cat, for whom the home office is normally off limits. (For a while, I had a spare chair, but the cat preferred the nicer one.)

  43. 43.

    Calming Influence

    March 17, 2012 at 12:26 am

    @debit: We hand fed our cat Gabriel with a syringe of blended kidney diet food for 3 months, morning and night, until he started eating it on his own. I’d be so covered in catfood I’d have to take a shower afterwards and coat myself in Bactine from the scratches, but Gabes lived another 7 happy years (19 total).

    You do what you gotta do. Rock on, Max.

  44. 44.

    joeyess

    March 17, 2012 at 12:26 am

    @John Cole.

    this has already been suggested, but it bears repeating. From Vetinfo.com:

    Soap and Water
    The biggest concern when you cut your dog’s nail is cleaning the wound to ensure no bacteria gets in. You can clean the wound while stopping the bleeding by simply holding a piece of scent-free, mild soap against the nail.
    Another option is to hold the foot under slow running warm water to wash the blood off for a few seconds. After you have cleaned the wound, wrap it in a warm, wet wash cloth. Hold your dog still with this compress for at least 20 minutes, applying gentle pressure the entire time. This will prevent your dog from reinjuring the wound.
    Making a Paste
    If you’re concerned that the bleeding won’t stop, you can make a paste out of simple household cooking ingredients, such as flour and water. Make a thick paste out of flour and water and use a Q-tip to apply to the toenail. Don’t wipe the blood away before applying, so it can coagulate and heal the blood vessel.
    Leave the paste on the toenail for a few minutes until the bleeding has stopped. This will prevent bacteria from entering when the wound is most vulnerable.
    Read more: Home Remedy to Stop Dog Nail Bleeding – VetInfo

  45. 45.

    Anne Laurie

    March 17, 2012 at 12:27 am

    @marybdvm: Condolences on your loss, and I hope that your birthday was the worst day you have for the next twelve months at least…

  46. 46.

    LunaSea

    March 17, 2012 at 12:29 am

    My greyhound had a tumor in her mouth that started bleeding when I wasn’t in the same room. She came down the hall and decided to shake her head. So yeah, definitely looked like a crime scene. She died about a month later. The 1-year anniversary is in a couple weeks. I sure wish she was still here, blood and all.

    As for IVs and cats – had a beautiful little kitty that lived to be 23, giving her fluids 3x a week for over a year. Once I learned how to pinch the fur on her back and push the needle in, she didn’t even flinch, even if I did. Kitties can take fluids under the skin and it makes all the difference in the world. Same does not work for dogs.

    I miss those girls. Thank goodness for the two kitties that are staring at me right now.

  47. 47.

    Anne Laurie

    March 17, 2012 at 12:31 am

    @BD of MN: Bruno was a cutie. Condolences, and may the good memories make you smile more than the sad ones make you weep.

  48. 48.

    Calming Influence

    March 17, 2012 at 12:34 am

    @marybdvm: Really rough way to lose a friend. Condolences.

  49. 49.

    debit

    March 17, 2012 at 12:35 am

    @Cat Lady: Thanks. He’s a tough old man. His vet says he probably only has another year or so, but as long as he keeps eating and pooping (with the occasional assist) and he seems happy and comfortable, we’ll do our part to keep him going.

  50. 50.

    protected static

    March 17, 2012 at 12:35 am

    Quiet, no-toenails-involved evening here. Just me, my iPhone, the interwebs, and a glass of rye. And a snoring, elderly dog.

    We’re preparing for the (not so far off) day when we need to put her down – she’s a 16-yr-old Lab/Pit cross. Her hips are so bad that she bunny-hops up stairs, and she’s blind enough that giving her cookies puts your fingers at risk… Thankfully she still retains bladder and bowel control.

  51. 51.

    Anne Laurie

    March 17, 2012 at 12:38 am

    @PTirebiter:

    On another note, there have been a three unrelated rescue donkeys available in my neighborhood this week. It must have something to do with the economy but I really don’t know. The shelter asks for $100 to cover their costs. I kind of want one.

    If it strengthens your resolve any, the local shelters won’t adopt out one donkey unless you already have at least one other cud-chewer (donkey, horse, goat) because herd animals ‘aren’t meant to live alone’. So you’d end up getting talked into taking all three orphans, and that’s how you end up as Crazy Donkey Guy…

    (Seriously, there was a squib on the local news this week, 38 miniature horses turned over to the ASPCA by an 81-year-old veterinarian whose heart outvoted his head approximately 36 times too often.)

  52. 52.

    TaMara (BHF)

    March 17, 2012 at 12:41 am

    Yes, it sucks when you cut the dogs. There is no greater guilt, I swear. Mine forgave…kinda.

    Funny thing, a couple of weeks ago, I was feeding the cats, looked down and there was blood all over the kitchen floor. I start hunting down cats to see who was bleeding profusely. After I check them all and they are a-ok, it becomes clear what has happened. Yup, I was the one bleeding, slashed my toe when I stubbed it on the cold air vent.

    This is what happens before I have morning coffee.

  53. 53.

    Calming Influence

    March 17, 2012 at 12:44 am

    John, I know your already making millions off this site, but considering the demographic of your commentors, have you considered branching out? I’m going to run “Big Animal Lovers” up the flagpole. whadayathink?

  54. 54.

    TaMara (BHF)

    March 17, 2012 at 12:44 am

    @BD of MN:
    @marybdvm:

    Condolences to both of you. They were loved by you and well cared for and that is the greatest gift you can give to a furry friend.

  55. 55.

    joeyess

    March 17, 2012 at 12:45 am

    OT, but are there any Balloon Juicers in the Kansas City area?

    I’d love to have a meetup or perhaps invite you to come see my band Kink Alfred.

    Lemme know…….

    my facebook page is the same as my screen name.

    Let’s hook it up.

  56. 56.

    Anne Laurie

    March 17, 2012 at 12:49 am

    Cole: Remember to use cold water (warm water ‘cooks’ protein stains like blood) and lots of it, and you’ll be able to get the stains out of the sheets as well. For things that aren’t immersible, like the feather mattress, rub the stain with Dial(c) soap, rinse carefully, repeat as necessary, air-dry. (If the down is saturated, go ahead & throw it out, but only if Rosie can’t tip over the can/tear open the trashbag, eat the whole disgusting mess, and end up in the ER.)

    As for the nail-clipping, cats can be nasty & dogs can be worse, but my vote for nastiest nightmare is human toddlers — they scream, they bite, and you’re not allowed to use proper restraints to get the job done. One of the many reasons I never had kids…

  57. 57.

    WaterGirl

    March 17, 2012 at 12:51 am

    @LunaSea:

    Kitties can take fluids under the skin and it makes all the difference in the world. Same does not work for dogs.

    Actually, it does work for dogs. I had to do that for my cocker spaniel for a few months after he started having kidney problems. I am not a big fan of needles, but I got used to it, and he didn’t care at all. He got 20 or 30 minutes of petting every time, what’s not to like?

  58. 58.

    Anne Laurie

    March 17, 2012 at 12:53 am

    @Calming Influence:

    I’m going to run “Big Animal Lovers” up the flagpole. whadayathink?

    That Rick Sanctorum is gonna sicc his ‘War on Illegal Pornography’ minions on your obviously pervy site?

  59. 59.

    WaterGirl

    March 17, 2012 at 12:56 am

    @BD of MN: Just re-read the story from Christmas. Bruno is very handsome. So heartbreaking that you had to let him go. I am always amazed at how we find the strength to do what’s right, when all we want is to have them with us forever.

  60. 60.

    Calming Influence

    March 17, 2012 at 12:58 am

    @Anne Laurie: OMG! Get your mind out of the gutter. I was trying to ride on the coat tails of the Big Hollywood megaplex!

    Actually, your right. That is pervy.

  61. 61.

    LunaSea

    March 17, 2012 at 12:58 am

    @WaterGirl: That’s good to hear. I was going by what my vet said when I asked about it for my greyhound. She said it wasn’t as much of an option for dogs as it is cats, but maybe that was unique to our situation at the time. It is amazing how cool they are with getting “pierced”, though. I guess the hugs and scritches outweigh just about anything.

  62. 62.

    Mnemosyne (iTouch)

    March 17, 2012 at 1:04 am

    In Arizona visiting the ‘rents. It’s about a 7 hour drive including a lunch break and, even at current gas prices, driving is WAY cheaper than flying.

    They upgraded our room (probably because they screwed up at Christmas and doubled charged us). G is enjoying the in room jacuzzi.

    I’m still worried about my dad’s health (COPD and kidney failure requiring dialysis) but I’m reassured that he’s still going out and about. He has a meeting of his wood carving club to go to tomorrow, but we’re meeting him for lunch afterwards.

  63. 63.

    WaterGirl

    March 17, 2012 at 1:30 am

    @Mnemosyne (iTouch): Nice that you are getting to spend time with your parents .It’s hard to be far apart when a parent is having health problems.

    On a happier note, guess what I brought home yesterday. If it rhymes with Shrek Loco, you are correct!

  64. 64.

    Jebediah

    March 17, 2012 at 1:51 am

    @BGinCHI:

    It’s why Mrs. BG and I split baby duties in certain ways. There are some things I’d just rather have other people do.

    When one of my nieces was a baby her mom asked me to cut her nails. I tried for what seemed like a really long time, but never actually got to the point of squeezing the clippers. I was terrified and gave up.
    She is nine now and probably no longer needs my help cutting her nails.

  65. 65.

    handy

    March 17, 2012 at 2:08 am

    @WaterGirl:

    Neck cocoa? I thought I was the only one totally into that. Who knew!

  66. 66.

    Mnemosyne (iTouch)

    March 17, 2012 at 2:12 am

    On a happier note, guess what I brought home yesterday. If it rhymes with Shrek Loco, you are correct!

    I haz a jealous! I really think that’s the one I’m going to get, despite the 3 speed thing. It’s so fun to ride.

  67. 67.

    WaterGirl

    March 17, 2012 at 2:25 am

    @handy: :-)

    @Mnemosyne (iTouch): The first time I saw the Trek Cocoa I didn’t really like the looks of it much. When I returned to take a test ride on a nice day I liked it better than I had previously. I had planned to come back for a longer test ride on Saturday and then make a decision, but when I got home I got on my old bike for comparison, and it only took me about a minute to know that I wanted the Cocoa. Now I think it’s beautiful!

    I ordered the bike from our local shop by phone, on Monday, I think, and they called me Wednesday night to say it was in. It was fun riding today, it’s a lot smoother than my older 21-speed Trek.

    Now if only I looked like the model who is riding the Cocoa in their ads, I would be in great shape! :-)

  68. 68.

    Mnemosyne (iTouch)

    March 17, 2012 at 2:38 am

    Now if only I looked like the model who is riding the Cocoa in their ads, I would be in great shape! :-)

    Wouldn’t we all? I’m hoping that having a bike I can commute on will help get me back in that direction.

  69. 69.

    JoyceH

    March 17, 2012 at 3:09 am

    @debit:

    I gave the cat an enema.

    Did it all go down something like this? –

    http://www.catenema.com/catenema.com/cat.html

  70. 70.

    Silver

    March 17, 2012 at 3:24 am

    Dogs don’t hold a grudge.

    Learn to use stypic powder or a Dremel.

    Cuddle her tonight. Everything is fine.

  71. 71.

    Friday Jones

    March 17, 2012 at 9:57 am

    My friend had a rescue dog that was part bull mastiff and part elephant. Because of his size, they would close a door to the kitchen, effectively pinning him in one side of the house, when they brought in groceries, else he would go absolutely ape-shit, knocking them over with love and food lust.

    He had a little bitty tumor on his tail that they planned on having removed, but it didn’t seem to bother him much, so they took their time making the vet appointment.

    Now, tiny tumor, grocery day, and dog in the hallway and living room, wagging his tail, happy mom and dad are home, accidentally hits tail just on the right spot on the wall, equals BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Seriously, it looked like a slasher film had been filmed in their house. There was blood on the ceiling, sprayed all over the walls, all over the furniture. When my friend entered the living room, the dog was so happy to see her, he redoubled his tail wagging, so she became covered in blood, too. She quickly saw the cause of the problem, and began grappling with him, trying to staunch the flow of blood with one of the drool rags they kept in every room. This merely excited him more. Wrestling! I LOVE WRESTLING!

    Four years on, and they still find the odd drop of blood. I’m breathless with laughter every time I look at the photos they took. (And glad it wasn’t my house.)

  72. 72.

    Denali

    March 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Just remember, pets can inflict way less pain than kids. So glad you have Lily.

  73. 73.

    Lavocat

    March 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

    That is some funny shit, right there.

  74. 74.

    peej

    March 17, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Cole is lucky it wasn’t Tunch he did that to…he’d be the one in the emergency room today.

  75. 75.

    mrspeel

    March 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    Next time, try holding the paw up to the light and you’ll be able to see where the “quick” is before cutting. There is a product on the market called “Quick Dry”, sold in Pet Supply stores and Veterinary Clinics, that will stop the bleeding immediately. I always keep it on hand, but in a pinch, believe it or not, you can use sugar. Just make a clump between your index finger and thumb and push it onto the cut.

  76. 76.

    CynDee

    March 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Don’t buy new things for $300. Cold water takes blood out.

  77. 77.

    Perfect Tommy

    March 17, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    Our greyhound nicked an ear on some thorns and my wife brought him inside to treat him. While she was searching for the styptic pencil, he wandered into the living room and did a head shake that spattered blood up one wall, across the ceiling and down to a couch on the opposite wall. The room looked like a crime scene from CSI.

  78. 78.

    Tlazolteotl

    March 18, 2012 at 12:28 am

    You people are wimps. I have to give one of my parrots a shot every two weeks, for 5 years now. It’s birdie birth control so she doesn’t make eggs (which she can’t pass, one got stuck and had to be surgically removed). Though I am hoping that we can switch her over to an implantable one that only has to be done (under anesthesia) every two years.

    Styptic powder is an absolute necessity if you have pets. Though I’ve had a couple of cases where it didn’t help (one of my birds got a nail caught in a toy and ripped out her entire toenail at the base, we had to take her to the emergency vet where they managed to get the bleeding stopped with silver nitrate). Also one of the birds is nicknamed “Toecutter” because she has bitten parts of toes off of at least 3 birds.

  79. 79.

    Anne Laurie

    March 18, 2012 at 1:17 am

    @Tlazolteotl: They’re selling ‘Quickclot Silver‘ nitrate to non-professionals now. Probably overkill for most of us, but, yeah, the one friend who keeps birds lost a parrot to a cut toenail…

  80. 80.

    BruceJ

    March 18, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    @Diana: I’ve always been under the impression that indoor/outdoor pets don’t need to have their nails cut.

    Heh…works for one of our dogs, but Katie is part Wolverine (the comic book guy, not the animal), I think. Her front claws are really long and make of adamantium, I think.

    She’s also dead certain that you’re going to cut her toes off, slowly, when you try to cut them, and they’re coal black, no way to know when you’re getting too closed to the quick, which in her case seem to contain major arteries.

    Every time I try to cut them I have to do it outside so that when people hear the cries of this animal being tortured they can see that all I’ve done is I’ve picked up her paw and have come within 6 inches of it with the nail clippers…

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