Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

In my day, never was longer.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Tick tock motherfuckers!

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

You can’t love your country only when you win.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

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114Comments

  2. 2.

    utterdregs

    It’s good, really really good, but I have gotta go with “Someone to Watch Over Me.”

  5. 5.

    Frankensteinbeck

    Point of order: Where does a metrosexual black Abe Lincoln stand on vampire slaying?

  8. 8.

    Valdivia

    Pero por supuesto! I love the turns of phrase all through the song. The part that really gets to me is the combination of bothered and bewildered, I know it’s the chorus, but it gets to me. every. time.

    @rikyrah: me too. I tend to listen to his songbook sung by Ella. I also like Stormy Weather, but that’s Arlen.

  9. 9.

    Gman

    It’s right up there. Hope they sang all the lyrics. Lorenz Hart knew whereof he spoke when it came to men.

  12. 12.

    Suezboo

    Totes agree re Cole Porter. A genius.
    My fave? Probably Anything Goes.
    Or maybe You’re The Top. I just love clever lyrics. See Noel Coward also, too.

  15. 15.

    Valdivia

    I was going to ask if anyone had a unique version of Stormy Weather they prefer. Though I am always partial to Ella the Etta James one is really good.

  18. 18.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)

    Hoagy Carmichael’s I Get Along Without You Very Well is a strong contender. I do like Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered though.

    Also – Just One Of Those Things. The Louis Armstrong-Oscar Peterson version is pure magic.

  23. 23.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Anybody besides me remember the three grubby bats in “Pogo” named Bewitched, Bothered and Bemildred? They were interchangeable, and took their identities each day from whichever pair of trousers they put on that morning.

  25. 25.

    Suffern ACE

    @Valdivia: Well, Ella’s recording of the song that I have clocks in at 7:04. If we added in a few verses where “a lot” was explained, mine might go on for about 90 minutes.

  27. 27.

    Tokyokie

    The lyrics of Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered are indeed among the best ever written, though I love, as others have mentioned, Porter’s You’re the Top, and I have always loved Berlin’s Puttin’ on the Ritz.

  29. 29.

    stephen benson

    always been partial to cole porter and hoagy charmicheal. can’t leave out the incredible pairing of mancini and mercer though. “days of wine and roses,” “moon river,” and many others. short, simple classics.

  30. 30.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)

    @Comrade Mary: Her Christmas Album Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas is excellent as those things go – she could sing circles around Bing Crosby.

  35. 35.

    NCSteve

    Well, it’s at least in a four-way tie with “Sophisticated Lady,” “My Funny Valentine” and “Someone to Watch Over Me.”

  36. 36.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)

    @BGinCHI: I knew Cole Porter was from Indiana, but not Hoagy. I hail from next door in Michigan. Our brilliant songwriter glory years came a little later but I think Smokey Robinson may be in those guys’ league.

  37. 37.

    elmo

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I didn’t until you just mentioned them. I read all the Pogo when I was a little girl, and it’s been more than 30 years. Thanks!

  38. 38.

    Betty Cracker

    I’m pretty partial to “The Lady Is a Tramp” (Buddy Greco, please.) But mostly, I’m just envious that other human beings attend parties where people sing things besides the Barney “Special” song.

  39. 39.

    Groucho48

    Got to give a shout out to Brecht.

    You people can watch while I’m scrubbing these floors
    And I’m scrubbin’ the floors while you’re gawking
    Maybe once ya tip me and it makes ya feel swell
    In this crummy Southern town
    In this crummy old hotel
    But you’ll never guess to who you’re talkin’.
    No. You couldn’t ever guess to who you’re talkin’.

  40. 40.

    sparky

    Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered is to 1939 [sic] as X is to 1933. Solve for X.

  43. 43.

    p.a.

    ella and louis duet, Cheek to Cheek. OMFG, i love that whole album. i only discovered it at 50, but sad to say i prolly wasn’t ready until then.

  44. 44.

    JGabriel

    Remember the bribes-for-kids scandal, where a couple of county judges in Pennsylvania took bribes to send kids to juvie?

    That was in Luzerne County, PA.

    Where the local Republicans just elected a skinhead to serve on the GOP’s county committee:

    Luzerne County Republican Party Chairman Terry Casey on Monday called recently elected party committeeman Steve Smith’s viewpoints “despicable.” … Smith, 41, the former director of the Keystone State Skinheads, was elected in April to the party committee position in the county’s third district…
    __
    No candidates had sought the committee member seat, allowing Smith, of Pittston, to win the unpaid party post through a write-in campaign in the primary election. … He received one vote, according to election results.
    __
    The election result didn’t attract attention until it was publicized on white supremacist websites when Smith notified supporters of his victory last week by posting a message to the online forum White News Now.

    The Luzerne County Republican Party Chairman is perplexed and non-plussed:

    “We don’t want a skinhead, white supremacist in a position of power in our party,” Casey said. … “The knee-jerk reaction should be that we should throw him out,” Casey said, but the party has bylaws it must follow. “The minute you start parsing off who can hold a seat it becomes a slippery slope.”

    Local Jewish Republicans are not happy:

    Aaron Kaufer is a proud Republican and a proud Jew, but the election of a man with ties to a white supremacy group as a committee person has the candidate for state representative boiling mad.
    __
    “This is another black eye for Luzerne County,” said Kaufer, of Kingston, who is the Republican nominee for the 120th state House seat, currently held by Rep. Phyllis Mundy, D-Kingston. “As a Jewish Republican, this issue hits very close to me.”

    Steve Smith, however, isn’t just any skinhead, he’s a skinhead with conviction. Several convictions, in fact — including terroristic threats:

    Casey noted one thing being looked into is whether Smith’s prior conviction for making terroristic threats and ethnic intimidation, for which he received a 60-day sentence and probation, is enough to bar him from serving.

    And yet, somehow, they just can’t get rid of the white elephant supremacist in the room:

    Luzerne County Election Bureau solicitor Mike Butera said Smith’s criminal conviction might disqualify him from holding public office, but it does not affect his ability to hold an elected political party position. That determination will be based on the bylaws of the party.
    __
    “It’s not a government position. It’s a party position. You have to look at bylaws of the Republican Party to see what they say about qualifications for committeemen,” Butera said.
    __
    Casey, in a statement issued late Monday by the Luzerne County GOP, said, “The Bylaws of the Luzerne County Republican Committee indicate that the only qualification for election to the county committee be that one has been a registered Republican for the two years preceding their election. There is no other eligibility requirement in this regard. Also, there is no express provision in the bylaws of the LCRC that would authorize the executive committee or the district committee to ‘expel’ a member of the committee for his or her ‘beliefs.’ ”

    For extra laughs, watch as the state committee passes the buck down:

    In addition to statements issued by the Luzerne County Democratic Party and Republican Party, the Pennsylvania GOP also condemned Smith’s viewpoints while noting that he was duly elected, even if only by himself.
    __
    Valerie Caras, a spokeswoman for the state Republican Party, said her organization “unabashedly denounces the views of Mr. Smith. In no way do they reflect the views of the Republican Party.” However, the matter is one that “has to be dealt with by the county GOP.

    .

  45. 45.

    PopeRatzo

    Any song that mentions “Bromo-Seltzer” in the first section of the intro, is alright by me.

    The Ella version is over 7 minutes long, unheard of for an American Songbook standard.

    But if I could sing like Ella, I would go on and on too.

    I play this song (as well as many other standards from the American songbook) on my chromatic harmonica, ala Toots Thielemans. Anybody living in Chicago, or visiting, might want to stop by Jerry’s or Phyllis’ on Division Street to hear me play with my quintet.

  48. 48.

    gogol's wife

    All the abovementioned are great. I always cry at P. G. Wodehouse’s lyrics for Kern’s “Bill.” But mostly if they’re sung by Helen Morgan.

  49. 49.

    Bill

    @Groucho48: You should give Nina Simone the credit she deserves for the translation. She made it a song for the United States. Certainly Brecht would have been thrilled, as well.

  51. 51.

    Bill

    I echo the call for Strayhorn’s “Lush Life,” though “My Funny Valentine” is up there for me, too. When I hear Miles play MFV, I hear the lyrics articulated better than any version I know of that’s actually sung.

  52. 52.

    gogol's wife

    I think we can maybe stipulate that all lyrics by Lorenz Hart, Cole Porter, and Johnny Mercer are great.

    ETA: Mack Gordon is also a great lyricist. And I never would have thought it, but hearing “Alfie” sung by Stevie Wonder at the White House made me appreciate the simple goodness of those lyrics by Hal David.

  53. 53.

    Immanentize

    I love B,B and B….

    But I also like two songs also covered by Blossum Dearie*

    “True to You in my Fashion” (another Cole Porter joint):

    Mr. Harris Plutocrat, wants to give my cheek a pat.
    If a Harris pat means a Paris hat, OK!

    That idea, of course is ripped from the WWI poet Ernest Dowson’s great poem taht I once memorized which has a Latin title, but has the lines:

    Last night, ah, yesternight, betwixt her lips and mine
    There fell thy shadow, Cynara! thy breath was shed
    Upon my soul between the kisses and the wine;
    And I was desolate and sick of an old passion, Yea, I was desolate and bowed my head:
    I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.

    and “Rhode Island is Famous for You” — not so sexually double entendre-y, but fun:

    Pencils come from Pennsylvania
    Vest from Vest Virginia
    And Tents from Tent-esee
    They know mink where they grow
    Mink in Wyo-mink
    A camp chair in New Hamp-chair
    That’s for me

    And minnows come from Minnesota
    Coats come from Dakota
    But why should you be blue?
    For you, you come from Rhode Island
    Don’t let them ride Rhode Island
    It’s famous for you

    OK, back to work….

    *(who I just love to listen to — It reminds me of the line in Cripple Creek re: Spike Jones: “I can’t stand the way he sings, but I love it when he talks”)

  54. 54.

    Rosalita

    @TaMara (BHF):

    Well, anything Ella I’m on board for.

    You and me both. I was fortunate enough to see one of her very last concerts at the Hollywood Bowl in 1988 or 89… she was fabulous. Her music and some good wine, perfect.

  55. 55.

    JGabriel

    A couple smart-ass comments I forgot to add in above.

    “We don’t want a skinhead, white supremacist in a position of power in [the GOP],” Casey said.

    This will be news to the rest of the country.

    “The knee-jerk reaction should be that we should throw him out,” Casey said, but the party has bylaws it must follow. “The minute you start parsing off who can hold a seat it becomes a slippery slope.”

    I just want to say that I love the phrase “parsing off”.

    .

  56. 56.

    gogol's wife

    @Immanentize:

    Nancy La Mott does a great version of “Rhode Island,” as well as a million other standards including “Accentuate the Positive” (sorry, don’t know the proper spelling).

  57. 57.

    Amir Khalid

    On a musical note (Geddit? Geddit?) a poll found that if the US were to retire The Star-Spangled Banner, Bruce Springsteen would be the popular choice to write the new national anthem by a 22% plurality. The Boss beat Dolly Parton (19%), Stevie Wonder (18%), Bob Dylan (11%), and John Williams (10%). Jay-Z and Madonna both scored single-digit percentages.

    I know The Star-Spangled Banner is about an obscure moment in a war most Americans don’t think about much, and is difficult to sing. But is there really much interest in changing the national anthem?

  58. 58.

    Raven

    @Watusie: Speaking of Begin the Beguine, my old man liked tell the story of running into Artie Shaw in a “head” on Guadalcanal. The old man recognized him and said “shake the hand that has played with Lana Turner’s _(*%^#%^#”!

    Of course I saw Joey Heatherton with Bob Hope, xmas of 69 but we were so far from the stage that it “was just my imagination, runnin away with me”!

  59. 59.

    shortstop

    @Valdivia: Sadly, I have no recording to share with you, but the third baseman once played Toby Belch in Twelfth Night and the very annoying director wanted him to enter singing “a modern song.” TTD walked on crooning “Stormy Weather” to be a smartass and VAD loved it so much he kept it in.

    I think my favorite Cole Porter lyrics–and damn, it’s hard to choose–are “You’re the Top.” National Gallery, Garbo’s salary, cellophane! All you fellow Porter fans will enjoy the very underrated movie based on Agatha Christie’s Evil Under the Sun. It has Maggie Smith, Diana Rigg and Roddy McDowell in it and is a camp confection full of CP songs. Pure fun.

  63. 63.

    Brachiator

    Too many fine standards to argue over.

    As always the site Standard of the Day is a gift from the Internet deities.

    Here’s a little something I didn’t know about Try a Little Tenderness:

    By Jimmy Campbell, Reg Connelly & Harry M. Woods
    1932

    A song that has truly spanned generations. Introduced as a sweet love ballad by the Ray Noble orchestra in 1932, it became best known to later audiences due to the blockbuster 1966 single from Otis Redding that literally reinvented the tune as an R&B number. This version would famously be used in the 1980s film Pretty in Pink, and was recently sampled by Kanye West and Jay-Z for their 2011 record, “Otis”. Talk about a song transcending the ages!

  64. 64.

    shortstop

    @Amir Khalid: People talk about it the way Alaskans talk about moving the capital from Juneau to Anchorage. Neither will happen.

    I secretly love our national anthem and always sing every word of it at sporting events.

  68. 68.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Amir Khalid:

    I know The Star-Spangled Banner is about an obscure moment in a war most Americans don’t think about much, and is difficult to sing. But is there really much interest in changing the national anthem?

    Not really. It’s a conversation around held the bars and water coolers whenever someone has botched it in front of a large audience.

    I’m all for adopting America the Beautiful as our anthem, however. Or This Land Is Your Land.

  70. 70.

    Schlemizel

    Please remember that “Shrimp Boats Are ‘A Comin” spent more weeks at #1 than all these put together.

    That made me as sad to learn as when I found out Abba had sold more albums than the Beatles

  72. 72.

    Suffern ACE

    @Amir Khalid: No. Well, there’s always those complainers. But as anyone who does karaoke knows, singing pop songs can be quite difficult. I could imagine bruce writing a great song that would be just as difficult to sing and remember.

  73. 73.

    shortstop

    “Begin the Beguine” is a thoroughly delightful earworm. I’m good for days now.

  74. 74.

    Rosalita

    I have to weigh and say Frank’s version of “The Way You Look Tonight” is my personal favorite.

  81. 81.

    Betty Cracker

    @Amir Khalid: I would totally change it to James Brown’s “Living in America” if I could. “The Star Spangled Banner” is pretty awful in every regard, in my opinion. “This Land Is Your Land” would be a fine replacement too, but it’s way too sew-shul-ist!

  82. 82.

    gogol's wife

    @shortstop:

    Seconded. If they make “This Land Is Your Land” the national anthem, I’ll have to move. I can’t stand it.

  84. 84.

    Suffern ACE

    @Betty Cracker: If we’re going to go to James Brown, I think we’d use Papa’s got a Brand new Bag.

    Anyway, why do we need to be singing a song at all? Why not change it to the Electric Slide and have a national dance instead?

  85. 85.

    Suffern ACE

    @Raven: Ours is not a country founded by wet blankets and party poopers, you know! The founders, hanging out in Sam Adam’s bar and grill, would probably have participated in karaoke night, if they had the technology.

  88. 88.

    Brachiator

    @Metrosexual Black AbeJ:

    I love Standard of the Day too.

    Amen, brother.

    Here’s some background on Bewitched.

    By Richard Rodgers & Lorenz Hart, 1940
    __
    Originally intended as a blatant expression of female sexuality, from the original production of Pal Joey. It was introduced in its original form by Broadway vet Vivienne Segal, but in later recorded versions it was sanitized to appeal to the more conservative record-buying public at the time. Much of the outright sexuality of the original lyrics were toned down.

    Another poster has already linked the official lyrics.

    Great song.

  92. 92.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @shortstop:

    This Land” is a fine folk song, but hardly anthem style.

    But a tune that was previously reserved for bawdy men’s clubs, that’s an anthem!

    Face it: The Star Spangled Banner hard to sing. People think they can sing it, but they can’t, for the most part, hit the high notes, and un-singable is a bad trait for an anthem.

    It’s an abominable piece of music. The best that can be said of it is that even if it’s a terrible anthem, it’s our terrible anthem. USA! USA! USA!

  93. 93.

    shortstop

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): Oh, I don’t think I can sing it. I think I like to sing it. Melodically (because we aren’t really singing the old lyrics, are we?), it has it all over “This Land” in anthemlike style.

    Woody Guthrie was a creative dynamo. Kind of sad that “This Land” is what he’s best known for, when he did so much other great stuff.

  94. 94.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @shortstop:

    Dude, “O!” is sung as a two-syllable (at least two) word right at the beginning!

    Lyrically…Whew, the flag is still there, flying over Baltimore. Baltimore, fer chrissakes!

    New opening verse for the anthem, same tune, still set in Baltimore:

    Omar Little walked in
    On a crack deal one night
    He said, “Money, bitches!”
    And ensued a gunfight

  101. 101.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Brachiator:

    My sister used to play (and play and play and play) a Frankie Avalon album that had him singing “Try a Little Tenderness.”

    Thanks for the Standard of the Daylink. Didn’t know about that.

  102. 102.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Bewitched, Bothered and Bemildred

    Yep, one of Walt Kelly’s many good laffs. First thing I though of when I read the post.

  103. 103.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Amir Khalid:

    But is there really much interest in changing the national anthem?

    Not in Baltimore, there isn’t.

  104. 104.

    Thymezone

    Disagree, mainly because it’s a fucking bone stupid proposition.

    “Best lyrics of any standard?” Who the fuck would even consider trying to make an argument like that on any level whatever? Exactly how many “standard” lyrics were judged in the comparison, how, and by whom? Fuck off, please.

    This might be the stupidest post ever on the blog, but then, I haven’t seen anything by E.D. lately, either.

    Of course, I have not read the thread, because it’s stupid and I don’t care, so this could just be a joke. If so, it’s not a very good one.

  106. 106.

    marianne19

    @rikyrah: @<a href="#comment-
    For me Cole Porter (not "too"). So many great lyrics, I can't start listing them.

  107. 107.

    scandi

    Rodgers/Hart is one of my favorite pair-ups. The tartness of Hart’s lyrics with the sweetness of Rodger’s melody is a beautiful combination.

  108. 108.

    gogol's wife

    @Thymezone:

    It was not intended to be a factual statement, just a way to get a conversation going. Some people enjoyed the conversation. Is there anything wrong with that?

  109. 109.

    policomic

    This song may not be familiar enough to be called a “standard,” but the lyrics are pretty great: “Everything Happens to Me,” by the not-that-well-known team of Tom Adair and Matt Dennis:

  112. 112.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @shortstop:

    Had to run to work. Glad to see that you came around.

    BTW, it’s a great show. There’s a scene when the Omar Little character is on the witness stand testifying against a drug dealer in a murder case. The defense attorney asks Omar what he does for a living. “I robs drug dealers,” is the answer.

    Now out of context, you might think that’s racist, but on this show, set in an urban environment that’s portrayed as morally bankrupt, Omar is actually portrayed as not only sympathetic but honorable. He has a code of ethics to which he sticks. He might not speak English properly, but he’s no idiot.

    But he’s one scary motherfucker, who not only answers violence with violence, but, more often than not, acts preemptively, literally pulling the trigger first.

  114. 114.

    Vico

    @Raven: Shaw supposedly brought Lana to her first orgasm. His version of “Begin the Beguine” is the equivalent of Coleman Hawkins’ take on “Body and Soul.” Once you’ve heard it, it seems more original than the original.

    I go for the Kern-Hammerstein “All the Things You Are.” “The Way You Look Tonight” is great, too.

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