Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

We do not need to pander to people who do not like what we stand for.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Fucking consultants! (of the political variety)

This fight is for everything.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

The way to stop violence is to stop manufacturing the hatred that fuels it.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

White supremacy is terrorism.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

You are here: Home / Dear White People: ‘The Amount Of Black Friends Required To Not Seem Racist Has Been Raised To Two’

Dear White People: ‘The Amount Of Black Friends Required To Not Seem Racist Has Been Raised To Two’

by | 72 Comments

This post is in: 

I love this so hard:

Fantastic, right?

The filmmakers need 25K to make this happen. From the “Dear White People” indiegogo fundraising page:

Remember when Black movies didn’t neccesarily star a dude in a fat suit and a wig? Or have major plot twists timed to Gospel numbers for no apparent reason? No? Damn…

Well believe it or not there was a time when “Black Art-House” was a thing. When movies like Do The Right Thing, Hollywood Shuffle, and Boyz In Da Hood were breaking box office records as well as making us laugh, cry, and think in ways movies hadn’t before.

The humble producers of DEAR WHITE PEOPLE, a satire about being a black face in a white place, long to bring those days back. But we can’t do it without you!

Here’s the deal…we’re looking to raise seed money that will go a tremondously long way in securing the capital we’ll need to produce our million dollar indie feature. With our trailer, script and your help, we believe we can bring this exciting piece of cinema to life! Join us, won’t you?

They’re almost halfway to their goal and it’s only been one day. I suspect they will blow past their goal in a matter of days.

Good for them. I’m totally down to see this film. Actually, I think I’m going to sign up for the $100 perk!

We need more of this and less Medea.

(h/t Colorlines)

[x-posted at ABLC]

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  2. 2.

    The Dangerman

    Nice to see something of value being filmed at UCLA (when I was there, we got mostly Hart to Hart or similar shit).

  3. 3.

    RossInDetroit

    Don’t forget the movie Baby Boy. I watched that under orders from my best friend, who declared it the most realistic representation to date of his family! Ving Rhames was scary.

  8. 8.

    gnomedad

    Wingers seem to think that supporting two whackjob Black politicians counts.
    Also, will you be my friend?

  10. 10.

    Mnemosyne

    If we’re going to talk about “black art-house” movies, can I put in a plug for Kasi Lemmons? Her debut, Eve’s Bayou, was a great film, and even more amazing for being her first film as a writer/director.

    I missed Caveman’s Valentine, but I did see Talk to Me and it was SO CLOSE to being a great movie. I think one or two more re-writes would have brought Dewey into the protagonist’s role where he belonged (though maybe it couldn’t be done because Don Cheadle was the marquee star).

  12. 12.

    Raven

    One of the things that has always stuck with me was a news report on the 20th Anniversary of the fall of Saigon. They had a brother on and he said something to the effect of “I regret I’ll never have the kind of friendships with white dudes that I did when I was in the war”. It wasn’t everyone all the time but, for some of us of both races, it was a time we’ll never forget.

  15. 15.

    pragmatism

    i LOLed.

    which is worse? outright racist or half-assed racist that appropriates culture when it benefits him and lacks the courage of his convictions….

  16. 16.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    It needs to be at least 4 blacks. The right has Steele, Allen, and Cain.

    ETA: I realize that’s a tall order even for those of us who try not to be racists, but, then again, I’m not sure I could even count that many white people as friends.

  17. 17.

    Comrade Dread

    Balderdash and confound it, now my driver has to take me down to the Hood to make another friend.

    Wait, there was a guy works in my office, we rode the elevator up to a meeting once and talked about the recent topical sporting event once. What was his name? La-something… LaShawn? LaKeem?

    Jeeves, help me out here, what was the name of that nice young black fellow who was a fan of the local baseball team?

    Oh, Lawrence. That’s right. Good show, Jeeves. Now we know two!

  18. 18.

    RossInDetroit

    @Raven:

    That’s a surprising thing for someone to take away from combat but I guess it shouldn’t be. The greatest revelations are always personal ones.
    College did it for me. My small town was all white and I literally knew zero black people until I shared a dorm suite in ’77 with two black athletes. At that age it’s easy to adapt. What would have happened if I hadn’t gone to college?

  20. 20.

    Genine

    I wish I could kick something in. Maybe soon!

    “No, no, no. Y’all get country clubs. We get to say “nigger” cracked me up. I never use the word and don’t like it but that made me choke on my orange juice.

  23. 23.

    Martin

    @Culture of Truth: Well, I’m good. I’m even covered just counting gay black friends. Is there any extra credit for black family members? Granted, they were secret black family members, but that got all opened up 20 years ago.

  25. 25.

    Davis X. Machina

    The reason why you need two black friends, at least if you’re the hero, is that only one of them is making it alive all the way to the credits.

    Oh, and don’t wear the red shirts.

  26. 26.

    RossInDetroit

    @Yutsano:

    I have an Ethiopian friend. I win.

    Disallowed. I think only authentic African Americans qualify.
    Rules committee?

  27. 27.

    Raven

    @RossInDetroit: Yea, and as been hashed to death here, I was in a support role as a truck driver. Most of the conflict you hear about came in the rear but us “heads” got along just fine. . . know what I mean?

  28. 28.

    RossInDetroit

    I’m grandfathered in because I’m descended from Alexandre Dumas. But I listen to jazz just to be on the safe side.

  29. 29.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    It needs to be at least 4 blacks. The right has Steele, Allen, and Cain.

    Well, there’s also “Ambassador” Keyes. You know, the guy who ran against Obama and provided us with the raw data needed to establish the 27% crazification factor?

    So make it five.

  32. 32.

    RossInDetroit

    @Raven:

    Most of the conflict you hear about came in the rear but us “heads” got along just fine. . . know what I mean?

    I do indeed. More than a few bonds have been sealed by the sacramental herb.

  35. 35.

    Yutsano

    @RossInDetroit: She’s an African who lives in America. And don’t mess with Kidst. She’s a 4’6″ tuba player who’s in the Army. She’s her own force of nature.

  36. 36.

    Shinobi

    I loled, soon it will be payday.

    Seriously other white people, what is with the hair touching thing? Don’t you have any manners?

  37. 37.

    Interrobang

    I haz a sad ’cause I don’t qualify. There just aren’t as many black people in Canada as there are in the US, so black friends are oddly hard to come by. (My only actual black friend lives in the US.)

    These days, because of my job, mostly, I have more self-described “black” Israeli friends, but caveat: Israelis who self-identify as “black” are not what North American people would consider “black,” oddly; they’re just kinda medium brown Levantine-looking folks.

    Can I substitute Native Canadians and/or recent immigrants?

  38. 38.

    Comrade Dread

    @Davis X. Machina: To be more specific, one of those friends should be a competent, intelligent, and handsome, a guy who knows how to get things done.

    The other one should be a wise-cracking mix of racist stereotypes who is completely incompetent and an idiot.

    The latter will be the one still alive at the end.

  41. 41.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    We need more of this and less Medea.

    Girl, I know you dint just misspell Madea and disrespect Tyler Perry at the same time.

  42. 42.

    Martin

    @RossInDetroit: I think you need diversity. I would say a minimum of two descended from slaves in order to carry the black experience in America and a minimum of two post-Civil Right immigrants to contrast and express the global case. Reduce the former to one if they have notable Jim Crowe life experience.

    Have I offended people enough to lose my extra credit?

  43. 43.

    Yutsano

    @Interrobang: You did have Michelle Jean. Canada therefore had the first minority head of state in the Western world.* So therefore Canada wins by default.

    *Someone feel free to correct me.

  44. 44.

    Brachiator

    @RossInDetroit:

    I’m grandfathered in because I’m descended from Alexandre Dumas.

    Really? Interesting.

    However, since Dumas was portrayed by Gérard Depardieu in a recent film, you might be disqualified on a technicality.

    ABL:

    Very funny stuff.

    And again, a gratuitous plug for Baratunde Thurston’s How to be Black. Read it and you no longer can say that TNC and ABL are the only commentators on black life that you know about.

  49. 49.

    SatanicPanic

    Can we make that up with other races? Maybe 6 Mexicans= 2 blacks? I woke up this morning thinking I wasn’t racist and now I’m not sure.

  50. 50.

    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick

    1, 2, why not make it 40.

    shit, i might go into the business of brokering black people who want to sell their friending rights to white people who need to boost status. its just like buying social media presence.

  51. 51.

    YellowJournalism

    @SatanicPanic: Aw, now we gotta do math? Let me get out my calculator…

    If Jane has three Indian friends, a Portuguese boyfriend, and a Mexican coworker…carry the one…divide that by her time as a foreign exchange student in South Africa…will there be a test on this later?

    And does the President count as a friend?

  55. 55.

    melchiscott

    @Mnemosyne: Just want to second your plug for Eve’s Bayou. Also to mention Rodney Evans’ Brother to Brother (with the great Anthony Mackie and Lawrence Gilliard Jr.) and Julie Dash’s Daughters of the Dust. If you haven’t seen them, seek them out.
    As to the young filmmakers at hand, I want to see this movie. And I hope they make their funding very soon.

  56. 56.

    Soonergrunt

    Well, since I consider Zandar and ABL my friends (and they either think the same of me or are playing a twitter version of junior high school) I’m good!
    Yay, me!

  58. 58.

    Donald G

    I don’t have friends, whether white, black, asian, or purple polka-dotted. I’m a recluse with a probable social anxiety disorder.

    The most I can be said to have is acquaintances and very few of those, especially these days.

    Am I still okay if I hate rich, snooty, misogynistic, homophobic, racist bastards who want to turn the clock back to the pre-Civil Rights Era or do I actually have to break through my psychological issues and somehow acquire the correct number and type of friends?

  59. 59.

    ruemara

    I know about…
    …
    hmph…
    look, I’m black but I don’t seem to know anyone I’m not related to. Can anyone spare a black friend?

  61. 61.

    Jebediah

    @Yutsano:

    I have an Ethiopian friend. I win.

    Well, Cadel Evans has an Ethiopian son, plus he won the Tour last year. So you have some competition.

  62. 62.

    Anonymous37

    100% of my friends are black. I have zero friends, and therefore zero black friends, and anything divided by itself is one, which is equal to 100%.

    Not to mention that my 2 imaginary friends are both black. Top that, you racists.

  64. 64.

    Suezboo

    Excuse me, I live in Africa. I am one of the few white people in my neighbourhood. Do I have to recuse myself?
    Or will growing up under apartheid take care of the racist thing?

  65. 65.

    lacp

    It depends – do they have to be freshly ground? ‘Cause my black friends are about as old as I am, so that might not work.

  67. 67.

    Felanius Kootea

    @Suezboo: Umm what country? Anything east of Johannesburg in South Africa doesn’t count (extra points off if you ever had a Mayor named Helen Zille) and anyplace north of Chad also doesn’t count. I kid, I kid.

  70. 70.

    Original Lee

    @The Other Bob: So you’re the one who knows where Obama’s long form birth certificate is!

    Also, too, I didn’t know lodgers and family counted. I think I need to go back and recalculate. Maybe I have to do some spectrum analysis on my Facebook friends list.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks