Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

The lights are all blinking red.

I really should read my own blog.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

That meeting sounds like a shotgun wedding between a shitshow and a clusterfuck.

Is trump is trying to break black America over his knee? signs point to ‘yes’.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

This really is a full service blog.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Early Morning Open Thread: Happy Birthday, John Cole!

Reader Interactions

125Comments

  2. 2.

    S. cerevisiae

    Happy birthday! Always remember it takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent fritters…

  3. 3.

    TheMightyTrowel

    Happy birthday to you! you live in a zoo! you look like a lily and rosie smells too!

  4. 4.

    amk

    Give yourself a b’day present of a new stainless steel wallet, fat boy – / sd the critters.

  7. 7.

    Dave Latchaw

    Happy Birthday, John Cole. I have been enjoying your blog for a long time. The fact that Jane Hamsher still hates you is somehow reassuring in our world of endless change.

  10. 10.

    Arclite

    Dude! It’s my birthday too! Well, it would have been if yours had been eight weeks ago. Happy BDay!

    And thanks for this cool blog.

  11. 11.

    S. cerevisiae

    @Neil: Yeah, where’s the birth certificate? How do we know he was even born? I blame the Illuminati.

  12. 12.

    drunken hausfrau

    Here’s a new drink for your birthday: Pisco Sours. Buy some Peruvian Pisco (not Chilean — pisco is Peruvian!). Mix 4 parts Pisco, 2 parts simple syrup (or BETTER: Monin Gomme Syrup, if you can find it), 1 part FRESH lime juice (key lime is best), and 1 egg white — mix in a blender with a bit of ice. Pour into small cups — top with a few drops of bitters on the foam. Salud!!

    Happy Birthday!

  13. 13.

    freelancer

    Happy Belated Juneteenth! Also, Happy Birthday! May you have the wettest doggie kisses, the largest crop of tomatoes, and a newsday that brings you joy and not utter despair.

    Tonight I bought and watched the Giants’ Matt Cain pitch his perfect game against the Astros back on the 13th. Human beings are basically good. And I am inspired because of it. Cain performed to a level where the unthinkable happened. You started bitching about shit way back when, and as a result of your actions, you have SAVED LIVES and brought people and animals together.

    I was blown away tonight, watching this baseball game that had already happened. And Matt Cain, he deserves his fame and recognition for his amazing statistical accomplishment, but next to John Cole, I don’t know. I don’t know him, but I know you. Cain’s name will live in history, but I don’t know if he rescued one or two beloved dogs. I don’t know if he used his newfound popularity to fundraise for things he believes in. I don’t know that given a billion dollars, he would use it to make the world better. And I don’t know that he would use his influence to ease the pain of most who come across his path.

    Cain became an immortal artist in the medium of sport this month, but I have seen what John Cole has done with the life he leads, and the end-all, be-all of it is, he’s a man worth following or at least listening to, and he matters. Happy Birthday, JC.

  15. 15.

    bjacques

    Happy birthday, Mr. Cole! On this day, FDR signed the GI bill (1944), the Cuyahoga River caught fire (1969) and Pluto gained a moon (1978). Among other less-famous anniversaries.

  16. 16.

    Cain

    Happy Birthday,John! May the wind be always at your back and the piglets at your knee. Hope you have a great day.

  18. 18.

    Raven

    @bjacques:
    The Servicemen’s Readjustment Act of 1944was the real name.

    “Born of Controversy: The GI Bill of Rights

    It has been heralded as one of the most significant pieces of legislation ever produced by the federal government—one that impacted the United States socially, economically and politically. But it almost never came to pass.

    The Servicemen’s Readjustment Act of 1944—commonly known as the GI Bill of Rights—nearly stalled in Congress as members of the House and Senate debated provisions of the controversial bill.

    Some shunned the idea of paying unemployed veterans $20 a week because they thought it diminished their incentive to look for work. Others questioned the concept of sending battle-hardened veterans to colleges and universities, a privilege then reserved for the rich.”

  22. 22.

    Keith

    Going with the Sixteen Candles theme, is someone going to send JC a pair of panties?

  24. 24.

    JPL

    Happy Birthday John. May Tunch, Rosie and Lily give you all the kisses you deserve and then some.

  25. 25.

    JGabriel

    Happy Birthday, John Cole! Go shoot smack with Dinky Hocker and blog about it.

    .

  29. 29.

    JGabriel

    @bjacques:

    On this day … the Cuyahoga River caught fire (1969)…

    Would that be the first, second, or third time the Cuyahoga caught fire? Or one of the other 13 times it caught fire?

    I mean, a river catching fire once could happen to anyone. Twice, you can chalk up to coincidence. But three times and more? Cleveland, that’s just irresponsible.

    .

  37. 37.

    Sarah

    Happy birthday to my most favorite blogger. Seriously, you raise the quality of the whole damn internet. Enjoy!

  41. 41.

    Valdivia

    @rikyrah:

    I posted it on another thread yesterday. They weren’t mainly repeated many times he offered things that came short of comprehensive solutions, no DreamAct and the self deportation thing which they didn’t let him etch-a-sketch.

  42. 42.

    Miki

    Happy Birthday, John Cole – and thanks so much for all you do and have done on this blog.

  43. 43.

    geg6

    Happy birthday, Cole!

    You have the best blog and your pets love you. You’re a good man and I hope you have a great day.

  44. 44.

    Dave in Maine

    Happy Borthday John!! I hope you have a fantastic day and get a new wallet…….. :)

  45. 45.

    Tony J

    What? Cole was of woman born? I thought Tunch willed him into being so that he had someone to buy him a house.

  46. 46.

    Tony J

    What? Cole was of woman born? I thought Tunch willed him into being so that he had someone to buy him a house.

  47. 47.

    Tony J

    What? Cole was of woman born? I thought Tunch willed him into being so that he had someone to buy him a house.

  48. 48.

    Tony J

    What? Cole was of woman born? I thought Tunch willed him into being so that he had someone to buy him a house.

  49. 49.

    Tony J

    What? Cole was of woman born? I thought Tunch willed him into being so that he had someone to buy him a house.

  50. 50.

    Tony J

    What? Cole was of woman born? I thought Tunch willed him into being so that he had someone to buy him a house.

  51. 51.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    The People’s SociaIist Republic of Manhattan wishes Señor John Cole many felicitous returns on the Anniversary of his Birth.

    .

  52. 52.

    Josie

    Happy Birthday, John Cole. Thanks for being who you are and doing what do you. And go give your Mom a hug.

  53. 53.

    Tony J

    WTF? I didn’t even press Send, that was the Return button.

    Guess I should apologise to He Who Purrs. And Bon Anniversaire M. Cole.

  56. 56.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Tony J: That was impressive.

    @ Cole: Happy birthday, you misanthropic, law-not-understanding, emo-blogger.

  57. 57.

    JGabriel

    __
    __
    Tony J:

    What? Cole was of woman born?

    Aye, six times the question was asked, and yet each time the answered remained the same: of woman born was John Cole, and not untimely ripped but fully matured and miraculously speaking full sentences and, aye, not only speaking but typing full sentences, blogging in mockery of a failing political system and in praise of felines fat and canines small and teeming gardens lush with strife and green.

    So saith the Blog, and the mellifluous Juice of its Balloons.

    .

  58. 58.

    the Conster

    Happy Birthday! You’re a good man John Cole. We all really appreciate what you do here on this shitty blog every day.

  59. 59.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @freelancer:

    Wow. Beautiful.

    And John Cole, all I can do is echo the other commenters here.
    Happy birthday.
    This.
    What [pick a name] said.

  60. 60.

    SensesFail

    Happy birthday, John! This blog is by far my favorite one on the intertubes. Thank you for it!

  62. 62.

    c u n d gulag

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN!

    Properly grilled rib-eye’s, fresh salad’s, and well-made mojito’s, for everyone!

    YAY!!!

  63. 63.

    Kristin

    Happy Birthday! And see, Rosie made sure you’re going to gift yourself with a new wallet! :)

  64. 64.

    Ash Can

    Happy birthday John, you old fart, and bazillions more.

    @Amir Khalid: If Cole repeats that to a stranger in Malaysia, will he get punched in the nose?

  66. 66.

    Silver Wolf

    The fact that he can hunt vampire tomatoes and steak them and still find time to maintain a blog puts him in Chuck Norris territory.

  67. 67.

    meyerman

    Happy Birthday! And many happy returns of the day! I’m sure the animals have something special planned for you today, so keep an eye on them.

  69. 69.

    passerby

    Happy Birthday to you, John.

    Didn’t realize your solar return coincided with the Summer Solstice. How auspicious. God bless your Cancerian soul, summer boy.

    Kisses.

  70. 70.

    Constance

    Happy Birthday! And many, many more. Were you a personal friend I would have picked up the phone to sing you Happy Birthday but this will have to do. Enjoy this day you good person. I think I saw a website offering wallets made from old Steelers stadium seat covers. Seriously.

  71. 71.

    Svensker

    @Insomniac:

    Do something unexpected and different today.

    Guess that eliminates nude mopping.

    Have a great day, anyway, John. You’re a good man.

  72. 72.

    flukebucket

    Happy Birthday Cole. Even when there are times you think your life sucks and has had no meaning you can always remember you have made many, many of my days much more entertaining. And like the Hoveround for the elderly, it didn’t cost me one penny!

  74. 74.

    YellowJournalism

    Happy Birthday! Get yourself another furry baby, drink too much alcohol, tweet about naked couch jumping, and post pictures of the disaster area your new pet and Rosie create. Then we all get something for your birthday!

  77. 77.

    mcmullje

    Happy Birthday John – Thanks for being here – this blog keeps me afloat when the rest of the world is trying to drown me.

    I wish you all good things in the next year!!!!

  79. 79.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    Happy Birthday, comrade! May your state appointed share of the wealth be slightly larger today.

  80. 80.

    curiousleo

    I suppose I shouldn’t interrupt the happy, happy birthday John Cole thread w/ such things but…

    But WTF? Sandusky’s adopted son now claims he was abused.

    And the idiot Coach K still thinks poor Paterno was done wrong by being fired. Jerk. “He built up enough equity” to be part of the solution, K said. ugh.

  82. 82.

    Paddy

    Wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin! (you can find anything on the internets. Knew how to say it but spell?)

  85. 85.

    AliceBlue

    Have a great day, John. While you’re at it, give your dad a hug, your mom some flowers, and thank them for falling in love.

  86. 86.

    Amir Khalid

    @Ash Can:
    “I send John Cole birthday greetings from Kuala Lumpur.” Now who would punch a person in the nose for saying that?

  89. 89.

    Kathy

    I don’t have the snark or wit fu of the vast majority of commenters here so I can only wish you a sincere happy birthday. Post something that really pisses off the firebaggers and go for a Moore award!

  90. 90.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)

    Happy birthday John. Thanks for all the fun and informative reads.

  91. 91.

    Ash Can

    @Amir Khalid: Oh, sure. You just want to see Cole try to repeat that to some nice Malaysian lady he might happen to meet and watch her whack him with her umbrella. I know how this blog rolls. ;)

  95. 95.

    Yutsano

    O-TANJYOOBI O OMEDETO GOZAIMASU!!

    I’ll skip the fancy characters. I have a long day ahead.

  98. 98.

    Violet

    Happy Birthday, John! Hope you have a wonderful day. Thanks for providing the best blog on the intertubes.

  107. 107.

    rickstershierpa

    From one June baby to another, Happy Birthday John. Thank you for hosting my favorite blog.

  115. 115.

    Emdee

    @John Cole: Why thank you all.

    Because we wished you happy birthday, that’s why! Enjoy doing whatever the fk you want for at least a few hours. We’ll cover the karma for you.

  119. 119.

    Libby

    Happy birthday and many more to come. May all your orbits around the sun be blessed with good fortune and great happiness. Thanks for — well… everything — for all these years.

  121. 121.

    JCJ

    From me: Happy Birthday!

    From my wife and daughter: สุขสันต์วันเกิด

  122. 122.

    stinger

    Happy Birthday! And thanks for this oasis of sanity, garden pix, recipes, pet blegs, and fun you have created for us all.

  124. 124.

    tones

    Bahut Khushi Janmadin, John!

    Treat yourself to something nice, just for the heck of it.
    Some nice Douglas Adams books perhaps ?

    42
    Life universe, and everything.

    Happy B-Day!

Comments are closed.