Donald Trump has never gotten over the fact that President Obama smacked him down at the White House Correspondents Dinner in April 2011, and then the next day, announced that he had shot bin Laden in the face (not personally, obviously.)
The fact that President Obama mocked him so thoroughly, and that the entire country –except for the 27% of idiots who believe that Donald Trump is relevant, and also that Jesus and the dinosaurs were contemporaries — pointed and laughed at him is more than Trump can stand. As such, he has made it his mission in life to prove that the Kenyan-in-Chief is illegitimate. Trump is convinced that Obama was born in a foreign country, but since those Hawaiian bastards won’t just admit it, Trump is focusing on Obama’s school records. Obama must have cheated his way through college and law school, and probably brainwashed the entire student body of Harvard Law into electing him president of the Harvard Law Review. So goeth the syphilitic mind of Donald Trump.
The bottom line is, there is a black guy in the White House who clearly doesn’t belong there, and Donald Trump is going to figure out how to get him out.
How does he plan to do this? With good old-fashioned stupidity. Trump wants Mitt Romney to hold a press conference and offer to release his tax returns if President Obama will release his school records. How does that make sense?
[full post at ABLC]
Villago Delenda Est
It makes no sense, because Obama could do that, and OvenMitt will still not release his tax returns, because fuck the peasants, that’s why.
The Other Bob
Not that one has anything to do with the other, but I am betting Obama would call their bluff and say OK.
The Other Chuck
If I were the press secretary:
“This administration has already jumped through enough hoops with the birth certificate. We no longer answer to carnival barkers. Romney is still hiding what everyone else has already disclosed.”
Just Some Fuckhead
This makes sense if yer one of my idiot rightwing friends. Here’s why:
Them: Urgh?
Me: Mitt Romney won’t release his tax returns.
Them: Groddl.
Me: How does this have anything to do with Obama’s school records. Obama released all his tax returns.
Them: Pazzow!
Steve
The meme has actually been spreading, even among idiots not named Trump, that Romney should offer to produce his tax returns in exchange for some type of document dump from Obama in return. It probably wouldn’t be anything as stupid as college records, but who knows, it might.
Of course, to make such an offer it would actually have to be true that Romney’s tax returns are relatively innocuous. I wouldn’t bet the ranch on that proposition.
LanceThruster
Chris Rock needs to do a “Good Hair” sequel where he compares and contrasts Pres. Obama’s hair, and that of the roadkill that has taken up residence on the over-inflated balloon passing itself off as Trump’s head.
LanceThruster
@Just Some Fuckhead:
I’m sorry, but that seems far too literate to be real wingers.
Could it be that they wrote those responses on their hands?
burnspbesq
Does Trump actually have syphilis, or are you just libeling him because you know you can get away with it?
Just Some Fuckhead
So what does Obama have to release to get Romney’s college transcripts?
Elementary school clinic records?
Just Some Fuckhead
@burnspbesq:
I have been reliably informed by four guys named Pinocchio that this is indeed the case.
Ash Can
Sure you can, and so can I. We still have the GOP convention, VP pick, and debates ahead of us.
Jay C
So The Donald (ticked off at the point-and-laugh results of the last go-round) is gearing up for yet another round of “dueling documents” with President Obama and his crew? SRSLY?
Why am I reminded of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner? Don E. Coyote seems to have decided that this time he’s going to crush his nemesis with the Acme Piano Launcher, Mark XX: and yet somehow we just know who it is who’s going to end up at the close of the reel standing in a rapidly-expanding piano-shaped shadow with a “GULP” expression on his face….
Ash Can
@burnspbesq: Do you mean to become a parody of yourself, or are you just trolling because you know you’ll get a rise out of people?
r€nato
@burnspbesq: we can’t know for sure until Trump agrees to release all his medical records. What’s he hiding from us?
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
@burnspbesq: Politifact rates this a push.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Ash Can:
Why are you trying to kill the goose that lays the goose eggs?
r€nato
So, Mittens is now demanding that Harry Reid reveal his source. Thereby doing all of the following:
a) not staying on message by hammering on Obama’s weakness, the semi-shitty economy
b) keeping alive the Romney tax return stories, along with all the speculation about what he might be hiding
c) making undecided voters wonder why he doesn’t just do the easy thing to make Reid shut up, release the goddamned returns like every other presidential candidate
d) arguing with a guy who he is not running against, who is not, in fact, running for anything
e) made a ridiculous request which will not be granted, and will not harm Reid by his refusing to do so.
Seems to me that Team Obama’s psy-ops squad has found a rich vein they can mine right up to election day. Sounds to me like they got under Romney’s skin with this.
This is just a taste of what’s to come for every single week until Romney releases his returns. If I were a Romney donor, I’d be asking for my money back. This is amateur hour.
Roger Moore
@The Other Bob:
Oh, yeah. Please, Brer Romney, don’t throw me into that briar patch.
Ben Franklin
Trump parodies Trump
This is akin to Oliver North suggesting to Kerry that he acknowledge Dubya’s combat experience in exchange for calling off the Swiftboaters.
David Hunt
@r€nato:
You win the thread. All other comments are superfluous.
Bubblegum Tate
Trump is in tune with the wingnuts; they are all about that shit. Hell, some of them take it even further by saying that Romney’s taxes are of no importance, but Obama’s school records are SO SUPER IMPORTANT, YOU GUYS:
Oh, and that “a man who has fought so hard to keep his records a secret” thing at the end? Yeah, she’s using that to refer to Obama, not Romney. The mind boggles.
gogol's wife
@Just Some Fuckhead:
LOL.
On the original topic, a friend told me he went to a wedding in the Deep South, and someone at the reception told him Harvard wouldn’t release Obama’s records because they prove that he was born in Africa. Apparently there was no lead-in to this statement, she just couldn’t wait to say it.
peach flavored shampoo
What would we call the 88% of the GOP that would see nothing controversial in the school records, reject them, and declare them forgeries?
Alumers?
Collegers?
Schoolies?
The Base?
Waldo
Let’s up the ante. In exchange for his school transcripts, Obama should demand Mitt’s:
Receipts for Yacht Club dues paid
Past 10 years of Rafalca’s veterinarian bills
Country Club golf scores dating to 1994
Records of gross tonnage of sand trucked into Romney’s private beach(es)
Can’t hurt to ask, right?
dmsilev
@r€nato:
Obama’s team should hire a bus, emblazon it with giant “Release the tax returns!” banners, and have it circle around Mitt Romney’s campaign events honking loudly.
Dork
I smell an internet meme, or at the very least, a new tagline to go with the others on the banner.
Cris (without an H)
Donald Trump is totally relevant. Who else is supposed to fire all those celebrity apprentices?
Just Some Fuckhead
@gogol’s wife: Well of course, Harvard is in on the conspiracy. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that the big money behind Harvard paid to have Obama’s mom moved from Hawaii to Kenya for the birth and back to Hawaii again a few days later for the announcement.
Who else could pull off something like this?
Steve
@r€nato: I preferred Romney’s original response of “Reid is making stuff up, and his source is probably the White House.” As if you need a source to just make something up!
The Other Bob
@gogol’s wife:
People say the same thing up here in the deep South of the North, AKA Michigan.
Linda Featheringill
@burnspbesq:
Burnsie:
I have a question and would like your take on it. I read a verrry speculative suggestion that Harry Reid’s secret informant might be John McCain. Possible?
Lovely idea, anyway.
NCSteve
Holy god. The 2012 Republican Convention is shaping up to be the Stupidity Singularity that finally sucks the entire North American continent down into a single infinitely small pinpoint of hate and imbecility. The horrifying spectacle of angry crazy old white men whipped up into a V__gra-tinged sexual frenzy by Caribou Barbie in 2008 will look like a Quaker meeting by comparison.
And yeah, I have lost count of the times when I’ve had to point out that the proper quid pro quo for asking for someone to release tax records is to release your own and insisting that Obama must release totally unrelated documents that no presidential candidate has ever released, which you would contend were forgeries even if you saw them, before Mitt releases his tax returns is insane troll logic. But, on the upside, when you do point that out to a trolling wingnut, the invariable response is the sweet, sweet sound of crickets.
(Updated to appease our spambot overlords.)
shortstop
@Just Some Fuckhead: That’s nicely crafted right there.
Speaking of fine craftsmanship, get a load of Donald Trump’s mouth. Romney’s across the room, frantically dragging his finger across his throat in Trump’s direction, and hissing, “Ixnay on the umbassday ealday!”
NancyDarling
Moyers interviewed Scottish documentary film maker, Anthony Baxter, about his film, “You’ve Been Trumped”. There are no words in the English language to describe what a truly awful human being Trump is.
He should be irrelevant, unfortunately he is not with the mouth breathers—both rich and poor.
shortstop
@dmsilev: Can’t we work Montgomery Burns and Smithers into this? Mitt Romney would have to address that pop culture reference, which is my most favoritest thing to see Mitt Romney try to do.
japa21
Not to be picky, but Obama also singed Trump at this year’s dinner, which probably increased Trump’s ire. Obama has a knack of saying or doing things that brings out the worst side of people while looking so damned cool and non-confrontational himself. My brother is like that, which is why I always got blamed for everything when we were growing up.
Steve
@Linda Featheringill: Reid said his source was a Bain investor. I think the only two realistic possibilities are that it really is a Bain investor, or that Reid just made up the whole thing. It’s unlikely he would tell the truth about the big thing and then make up a lie about the small thing.
Cris (without an H)
Is McCain a Bain investor?
shortstop
@Cris (without an H): How would he know? He can’t even say for sure how many domiciles he has.
IowaOldLady
Every time these fools babble about Obama spending millions to seal his college records, I start to hyperventilate. Have they never heard of FERPA? Every semester we get a message from the administration reminding us that we can’t reveal anything about a student’s grades, attendance, etc, without the student’s express permission. I once had a parent call me (which thank god doesn’t happen often with college students) and I had to tell her I couldn’t say anything about her son. We can’t post grades outside our offices, even if we use some identifier other than names. No one has to spend millions to achieve privacy. It’s the law.
Just Some Fuckhead
@NancyDarling:
In a meritocracy, Trump would be a suppository.
NancyDarling
@Just Some Fuckhead: Fuckhead, I haven’t seen you around here in ages. I hope all is well.
Just Some Fuckhead
@NancyDarling: I started running a new company so I took a 6 month LOA from most of the internets.
That’s not entirely true but it’s close enough for commenting.
Jay in Oregon
I think Obama should say he will release his college transcripts after Romney releases tax returns for the past 12 years; once Romney does*, Obama should pull an Eric Cantor, claim that whatever Romney released was not sufficient, and decline.
I am looking forward to Romney cracking under the pressure and offer the one or two returns that he feels are least damaging, thus undermining his current position even more.
*Obama won’t have to pull the Cantor because Romney will never release what people are asking for. If he does, he’s toast.
shortstop
@Jay in Oregon:
I remarked last night that I really think he’s going to try a Stennis Compromise–tart up some nearly content-free “financial summary” or “tax snapshot,” release it, then respond to the nationwide howls of mirth with an injured, “Fine, then you get nothing, because you’re not being reasonable!”
Just Some Fuckhead
@Jay in Oregon:
Here’s 2005 and 2009. No, gimme 2009 back, try 2007. Wait wait wait, just take 2005! Gimme a break, I’m running for President here, man!
El Cid
I heard from a source that Donald Trump has syphilis.
shortstop
@El Cid: I heard it from someone who got syphilis from Donald Trump.
Roger Moore
@Steve:
Hey! Stop making sense. You’re making the people who are ranting incoherently look bad.
Jim C.
Obama: Take the deal.
quannlace
The Strident Left Sound Machine. Was that a disco dance band back in the ’80’s?
Enhanced Voting Techniques
So say those collage transcripts show a young Mr Obama got the occasional D from partying to hard; how would what possibly have any bearing on the older President Obama?
quannlace
Heck Donald. Why not go all the back to kindegarden? Did Obama fail to bring his milk money every week? Did he talk during nap time? Americans need to know!!
Just Some Fuckhead
@Enhanced Voting Techniques: *coughaffirmativeactioncough*
Carl Nyberg
A pro-Obama Super PAC will pay Donald Trump and Reince Priebus after the election.
Maybe Obama will even appoint them in the executive branch.
Donald Trump can be ambassador to Macau and Reince Priebus can be spokesman for the IRS.
shortstop
@Enhanced Voting Techniques: Duh, because Negroes can’t get into Harvard law without affirmative action lifting them high above their undergraduate mediocrity while displacing more meritorious white guys. Note that most of the (white) people demanding these transcripts couldn’t get into a community college if they bribed the registrar.
Amir Khalid
You ask this about something said by Donald Trump?
Just Some Fuckhead
@quannlace:
Why leave out the important preschool years? We know his ma probably kept a baby book. Let’s find out if he ever learned to count.
murakami
I have nothing to add but am thrilled to see you use the word “syphilitic”. That word definitely needs to be used more often in reference to the right.
Carl Nyberg
What’s the most damning thing that’s going to be in Obama’s transcripts? He had mediocre grades as an undergrad?
What’s the next step for the Tea Party crowd? To yell “affirmative action” repeatedly?
Roger Moore
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
I think there’s a branch of birtherism that claims he got a scholarship that’s only available to foreign students, which would totally prove the birth certificate is a forgery. Also, too, they think his transcripts will show he was a terrible student and only got into Harvard Law through Affirmative Action. You can bet that if he releases his records and neither of those things shows up, it will be proof that the records are forgeries.
dmsilev
@quannlace:
The Onion ran a story a while back on the ‘Afterbirther’ movement that was demanding to see evidence of Obama’s placenta.
Satire is still ahead, but Reality is closing the gap fast with only a few laps to go.
The Thin Black Duke
Bottom line, President Obama sees Trump as the bad joke he is, while Mitt Romney desperately follows this loudmouth circus freak with the dead ferret on his head like a coked-up fluffer on a porno movie. Gee, I wonder who I should vote for?
Carl Nyberg
If Harvard used “affirmative action” to admit Obama, it’s an affirmative action success story.
I’ll bet Obama is doing pretty well professionally compared to many of his classmates.
shortstop
@Carl Nyberg: Missing the point you are. The official Aggrieved Redneck position on affirmative action ignores the actual way the program is implemented and instead claims it’s used for minority non-performers at the expense of more deserving white people. “Doing pretty well professionally compared to many of his classmates = does not deserve what he has, couldn’t have gotten it on his own chops, and stole it from a white guy.”
Steve
@Carl Nyberg: I suppose you think Sonia Sotomayor helps make the case for affirmative action as well.
You would make a really poor conservative.
Ash Can
While I do think it would make for some pretty good entertainment, I think that ignoring calls for his college transcripts is the right thing for Obama to do. The people yammering about his transcripts are obviously doing it simply because they’re bigoted schmucks who are convinced that there’s no way a black person can be smart, let alone smart enough to go to Harvard and be president. Let Trump keep being a bloviating buffoon that the one person he hates and envies the most in this world chuckles at from time to time, then ignores. He and his racist ilk can go eat shit and bark at the moon.
Just Some Fuckhead
@shortstop:
And would otherwise be standing outside of the projects eating chicken right of the bucket, with his pants hanging off his ass.
The Moar You Know
That thumping noise you heard is Donald Trump falling into the trap that Obama and Reid laid out for Romney.
Thanks for keeping the story alive, Donald! Bet Mitt’s super grateful!
Roger Moore
@Carl Nyberg:
Going way out on a limb, are you? If there’s any school where getting elected President is considered a mediocre career accomplishment, that’s where I want to go.
Ben Franklin
Thanks for keeping the story alive, Donald! Bet Mitt’s super grateful!
He seems to relish the role of wrecking ball. It’s all about HIM, but he is accidentally doing some good. Not that he really gives a shit.
Amir Khalid
Has anyone asked Mitt yet to support/disavow/nocomment on this stunt by the Donald? “Cause it would be interesting to see if Mitt blue-screens in response to the question.
D. Mason
Maybe they’re counting on his tendency to steal the news cycle. When everyone’s pointing and laughing at Trump the attention is off Romneys actual tax returns.
PurpleGirl
The irony in Trump demanding to see President Obama’s college transcripts is that Trump went to a number of different military prep schools because his grades were so bad. It’s quite possible that his college transcripts would show someone who roller coastered and basically got in because his father could be hit up for large donations.
Culture of Truth
So under Trump’s logic, Romney IS willing to do it, now we’re just haggling over PRICE….
Bubblegum Tate
@Dork:
The person I’m quoting there has been using the phrase “Complicit Agenda Media” for probably a couple years now. She’s really fond of making up her own stupid little terms for things wingnuts already have given stupid names. She is, as you might imagine, quite unintentionally hilarious.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Rmoney comes across as the kind of rich guy that the other rich guys would avoid at a rich guy party. He would be the rich guy standing alone near some wall, trying to look nonchalant while sipping on some orange juice yet desperately looking around for someone to latch on to so he isn’t mistaken for the help. Nobody wants to talk to him because they know that he will drain the fun right out of the evening.
He’s a boring rich Mormon guy. It’s OK to say hello to him in passing but anything more and he becomes a joy vacuum.
maya
@burnspbesq:
As a former case epidemiologist I can tell you that a simple blood test for syphilis antibodies (titer count) can clear the matter up as easy as a lap dance at a Republican fundraiser. Those antibodies float around forever.
One of the tertiary effects of syphilis is alopecia of the scalp. Hair falls out. Need I say more?
Ash Can
@Amir Khalid: LOL! How could he not blue-screen? Especially in light of the fact that, IIRC, former Bain colleagues have been quoted as saying that Mitt would rather drop out of the race than release his tax returns, there’s no way he would ever release them, no matter what Obama pledged to release in return. (And, as someone mentioned above, it wouldn’t matter what Obama released anyway, because as we’ve already seen with his birth certificate, if the released documents don’t say what the bigots/birfers/RWNJs want them to say, then they’re obviously fake. Obviously.)
ABL
@burnspbesq: Surely, you are familiar with the seminal case of Hustler v. Falwell, sir. They made a movie about it and everything!
Thanks for the laugh.
Culture of Truth
Obama should just admit he never went to college, then call Republicans snobs for saying he should.
Culture of Truth
There are denominations of birtherism? Is it a religion now?
patrick II
@Steve:
Why does Mitt think that “the source is probably the White House”? Do the number of years of no taxes paid that Reid asserts sound familiar? — like someone might have peeked at Mitt’s IRS files and leaked it to Reid?
Phoenician in a time of Romans
“My fellow Americans, I have seen Mr Trumps offer and find it very amusing. I have a counter offer instead.
“I will release my tax returns for the 12 years before those I have already released, 24 years altogether, if both Mitt Romney and Donald Trump would do the American people the decency of releasing their last 12 returns each. 24 from me, 12 each from them.
“I look forward to their reply.”
muddy
Last spring my neighbor excitedly asked me how to register to vote. He’s about 50. I told him to go to the Town Clerk’s office. He was really wound up to vote for the first time ever, because he was sure Trump would be the nominee. He said he’d make do with Palin, he would still be pretty stoked for that. But this is a guy who had a barn wall fall on him and after a brief coma he wasn’t quite right (this is the phrase from the family). He also likes to paint himself green and run around being the Hulk, frightening kids and whatnot.
Anyway, he’s bummed now, he’s not going to vote because it’s just not exciting like it was. It’s not just the barn though, the whole family calls Fox “the news”, and they are poor as churchmice complaining about how their taxes have skyrocketed since Obama was in office. Eh?
The Other Chuck
@Just Some Fuckhead:
There is no way in hell I’m sticking Donald Trump up there.
Patricia Kayden
@r€nato: AMEN!
Let’s hope that on Election Day, Romneybot 2.0 still hasn’t released his taxes and we’re still gossiping about all the juiciness he’s covering up. What could he be hiding? Hmmmm?
xian
@Bubblegum Tate: I like that “unless he broke the law *and* paid no taxes” threshold. Their talking points are so flimsy as to be entirely transparent at this point.
Carl Nyberg
@Roger Moore:
You probably can’t afford the tuition.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Carl Nyberg:
Ain’t that the troof.
CW in LA
@Culture of Truth: Well, you’ve got faith with no evidence and a catalog of obscure beliefs that have to be subscribed to…
Johannes
@ABL: Seminal case, ABL? I see what you did, there…
Bruce S
“Donald Trump is embarrassing himself…”
That’s his job.
Tim I
Despite my eternal and undying adoration for Imani, I must disagree on one point. It is not possible to embarrass the Romney campaign any further. They died of embarrassment about 10am on Sunday.