Made it to Charlotte, and there was remarkably little fussing from the ladies, who were preoccupied with this whole internet thing while I drove. Found a great alternative station on Sirius (First Wave or something), and relived every John Hughes film on the drive down.
Got to the Motel 6, and I am reasonably sure I have seen this place before in a Cops or 48 Hours episode.
Motel 6!! In Charlotte?!
This has Room 1408 stamped all the fuck over it.
Good sweet baby christ.
Yeah, but you could say that about every Motel 6.
Really John, you want to go there?
I’m going to get some…ice.
Dude (and dudettes), I will sell one of my cats and send y’all some cash.
Chat Noir (iPhone)
Excellent. Looking forward to more reports from the DNC.
I was going to add a nice insightful comment about the Obama canvassers who stopped by this place yesterday, but, let’s face it, I can’t top the Motel Six or what’s about to happen next.
What is wrong with Motel 6, or Super 8, or any of the other budget motels? I mean really WTF? Are there a bunch of motel snobs out there in the BJ comment brigade? The gang are going to be up and about at 06 bicycle wheels until 02 bicycle wheels for the next four days, who cares what the fuck the motel room looks like, none of them are going to be looking at it for gawds sake, they will be too wasted too notice. The only thing they will be looking at is the inside of their eyelids.
Party at the Charlotte Motel 6!
I just want to say that, so far, I think Heather is the secret star of The ABL/CWG Show.
Mr Stagger Lee
Say hi to Cam Newton, and the NASCAR guys for me also.
John, Do you need some more money to avoid the thin walls and stuff. Not that anything will be happening on your side.
@khead: I’m in agreement with you.
Now that you made it, we need a drink.
The Other Bob
In addition to reminding ABL and her companion that John used to be a Republican, did anyone think to tell them that John once spent time in prison for killing two women in a hotel room?
The good thing about a Motel 6 in the right part of town is that the entertainment comes to you.
What’s going to be happening on the other side?
I know. Isn’t that where they leave the light for ya?
@The Other Bob: ***SPUTTER***
Truly, truly, the comment of this road trip so far.
ETA, not that there’s anything funny about violence against women. This just came out of freakin’ NOWHERE.
They are less likely to have a bar. That’s what’s wrong.
@JGabriel: Heather is definitely the breakout star of AngryCranky2012.
I wouldn’t care. It’s a place to sleep.
Beats being in a tent with mosquitoes buzzing around.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
They’re also very likely to have been the only rooms available in a five county area by the time John made the reservations.
Ah, now on that point I have to admit I completely and utterly agree. That is why I always try and find a budget Motel with a bar close by (within walking distance), I am usually very good at that.
In my most recent experience at a Travelodge: a dirty room, a busted bathtub/shower, and internet that was advertised but didn’t work. Other than that, not much.
@Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism:
Absolutely. When my boss is going to Merlefest in Wilksboro in April you have to book the motels close by up to a year in advance, other than that you have to look 50 miles away to even get close to getting a room.
Shoulda gone to a Motel 6.
@Maude: Probably should have. Only time I’ve ever refused to stay in a hotel room. I ended up leaving even though it was almost midnight and I had no other place to stay.
My favorite part of cheap motels is the clientele. I stayed at one in St. Louis where I swore I’d witness a mob killing and have to go on the run by the end of the night.
You should have borrowed money from your parents and stayed in the Ritz Carlton.
As much as some BJers think ABL and even Cole are sexy we really don’t need their fantasies played out, recorded, and distributed for the prurient.
Bill E Pilgrim
Let’s face it, we could all write the next post ourselves.
“Got up at 1 am to go to the bathroom, cursing wondering why there were two doors involved and my bathroom door was locked, rattling the doorknob violently was startled when it opened and ABL was there yelling WTF are you doing which made me stumble backwards and over the catwalk railing slamming into the car roof. Then Rosie ran under the bed.”
Or you know whatever.
You guys don’t think Cole & ABL (and Heather) packed some adult beverages along with their tomatoes and snacks and sandwiches?
Come on, let’s give these guys some credit for thinking ahead!
@WaterGirl: Yeah, but if there’s no bar, where will Cole pick up women?
@Spaghetti Lee: True story…on a road trip outside of El Paso we stayed at a Best Western and ate in the restaurant. There was some type of shoot out in the bar so the boys and I returned to our room while the hubby tried to pay the bill. This was many years ago and the sons were young but it was the highlight of the trip for them.
Actually, to be fair to M6, the remodeled (not refurbished) M6’s had great TV service last time I stayed at one (in fabulous Willows, CA; not really the place to find a Hilton).
Also, are the Happy Wanderers (whistle the tune here) really so crazy as to tell us where they are staying? Or are they just going to unplug the phones?
@TooManyJens: Not to worry about that, I suppose. :-)
@Bill E Pilgrim: Nicely done! Really stellar work.
I don’t know if the Motel 6 has Room Service, but you need to order four club sandwiches, four shrimp cocktails, a quart of rum, and nine fresh grapefruits. Vitamin C – you’ll need all you can get.
The poor bastard forgot his fucking pants. What else is there to say?
We all should know that none of them are reading our comments. They got their room, maybe showered, then went to dinner and are staying for drinks. When they get back to their room, they’re seeing what movies are playing and are now arguing about what to watch.
Can’t wait to read about this first-hand!
Sad (or glad) to say I missed most of the RNC as we’ve been in Northern California and Oregon for the past week. Just got back this evening. I’ve posted pictures from our trip on my blog if anyone is interested.
The only snippet of the RNC I caught was Clint Eastwood’s tour de farce. Which I think was really all anyone needed to see, amiright?
LOL This reminds me of the time I visited Sydney Australia from Hong Kong while my parents were in the middle of a round the world trip. They came to see me in Hong Kong and then went on to Sydney, my friend and I followed on a separate flight. My mother had booked the cheapest motel room she could find (she was thrifty like that) in Kings Cross in Sydney, right next to a hotel that boasted the biggest bed in the world. I think we got about three minutes sleep that night due to the sounds of brawls and fights and sirens all night outside the window. It was hilarious.
@Corner Stone: That he really was thinking ahead? wink wink nudge nudge
@Bill E Pilgrim: That was a thing of beauty. Bravo. And you know this is exactly how it’s going to go down.
“..I have seen this place before in a Cops or 48 Hours..”.
You likely saw it during that bender you must have gone on just prior to signing up.
Welcome to Charlotte! I’d be there to greet you but I’m beaching’ over at Wrightsville.
@Bill E Pilgrim: :: applause ::
Years ago, Mr. AliceBlue and I went on a family vacation with Mr. AB’s parents My MIL had made the motel reservation at a Budgetel (forever after referred to by Mr. AB as “Budgethell). There appeared to be a biker gang in the parking lot, a hooker in the lobby, and the whole place smelled like disinfectant. Early in the morning, we heard gunshots close by. To add insult to injury, there was a brand new, very nice looking Red Roof Inn across the highway. Moral of the story? “Dad, this is why you never let mother make motel reservations!”
@quannlace: Those aren’t pillows!
Nice pictures of Portland. I haven’t been there in a long time either, but I always loved it. Always thought I would like to move there, but I don’t know now. I’d have to check it out again first.
Nah, it’s only 8:30 pm. They’re still drinking. And drinking. And drinking …
Ha Ha years ago DH and I decided to take my Mum and Norman to Myrtle Beach for the weekend during October. We could not find any motel rooms except in the really seediest dives (our room had a red heart shaped jacuzzi in the middle of the room with a mirrored ceiling) turns out when we got down there it was bike week. As it happened Mum loved it, it was such a glimpse into the American bike culture.
I don’t blame you.
Bill E Pilgrim
@WaterGirl: @Violet: @Yutsano: Thanks, it’s easy when you can just model it on actual Cole posts.
The only part I left out was the full body cast for the rest of the convention, which would be the source of even more hilarity and end up inspiring two or three tags of its own.
We are the Heather Fan Club.
@Litlebritdifrnt: Back in my SF convention going days, the hotel reservation was made before the convention membership was bought. You could usually get the membership at the door (albeit for higher price) but if you didn’t have the hotel room, you were screwed. A hotel reservation could be cancelled but not gotten at the last minute at the con hotel.
Exactly, I wonder how many motel/hotel rooms were booked in DC for January 20, 2009 prior to the election that were then cancelled when McCain didn’t win?
First Wave isn’t bad, but a tad too heavy on The Smiths, The Cure and Morrissey for my tastes but as always, ymmv…
And if not, it will be featured in a future episode soon to appear.
@Steeplejack: Portland is just as SoBe describes: quirky and fun but the air is quite clean. It’s nice to have three very livable cities in a short distance of each other.
Mike in NC
No Motel 666 in Charlotte?
You know you guys picked the worst time for me and my family to need financial assistance (we’re dead broke through November) but if you get stuck and need a place to stay or something we’re right down the road in Columbia. And relatively safe aside from two kids, two cats and a ferocious chihuahua named “fang” (actually Daisy but whatever). Enjoying your road trip immensely. I’ve grown very attached to this site since poking around here in 2005-ish.
@Litlebritdifrnt: I’m with you on budget hotels. Love them. My experience has been the more expensive the hotel, the crappier the wifi. That’s what I care about most, after clean sheets and non-disgusting bathroom. I’ve had good luck with Super 8. Chain has mostly upgraded their rooms. Some of them are even great. Pay about 10-15 bucks more for a room than Motel 6, but they almost always have a refrigerator and nuker. And most have a decent breakfast and good coffee all day.
So that’s like a Motel 2 for each of you, right?
I always reflexively associate Super 8 with pron due to the celluloid home movie format.
Culture of Truth
I early await more updates.
The Fat Kate Middleton
@JPL: As long as we’re swapping motel stories – ten year ago, we stayed in a HoJo just on the edge of Savannah, GA. Like so many writing here, we didn’t reserve ahead of time, and it was the only place with a room. Our bed’s headboard and the headboard next door were obviously adjacent, and … and I don’t think I need to really provide details of what that meant. But the worst was the same Teddy Pendergrass(sp?) song played over and over and over until 5 a.m. – and the very strong smell of some very bad weed until long after that time. We had to be on the road by 7:00 a.m., and the next morning, my husband, normally the sweetest, most patient man you’ll ever meet, made a point of dialing the next door number twice, well before 7:00.
I just realized that I maligned Travelodge above, but the shitty hotel was an Econolodge. My apologies to Travelodge.
Hotel aside, that trip was a great experience. I was in Indianapolis volunteering on the eve of the 2008 election. You can imagine my thrill when the networks called IN for Obama. :)
Love First Wave! Probably the XM channel I listen to the most.
This is SO romantic!!!
Can’t be a pantheon of bad hotels without mentioning the Dan’l Boone Motor Lodge (competing as an independent) with the cigarette burns in the shit yellow bathtubs, found only after there not being a single room available in the entire state of Indiana along I-74. There was the Hound Dog Lounge with Carry-O-Kay but most of the party refused to chance it after the trauma of the bedspreads and carpeting.
Val-de-ri, Val-de-ra, Val-de-ri, Val-de-rahahahahaha…
I can’t wait until Cole launches the BJ pledge drive so that he and ABL can get deloused after their stay at the M6.
The Fat Kate Middleton
So true! Esp. the Sheratons, which I feel guilty dissing, since my son worked for them for enough time for us to get nearly free lodging ($30/night).
@Libby: “My experience has been the more expensive the hotel, the crappier the
Oooh. HoJo in Saskatoon. Horrible. It’s like they concentrated all of the horribleness of Canada in the one block surrounding that motel.
Not as bad as the recently branded Super 8, I think it was, in St. George Utah a decade before. Wife walked into the bathroom, pointed out the sunken shower thing in the middle of the room that could only have been designed with a porn set in mind and sent me back to the front desk for our money back (the whole place looked like a 70s porn set). The manager understood completely, explained they just bought the place and the renovations were due to start soon. Drove through the night and got us back home.
This is absolutely true. And you have to pay for it; it’s not free.
@Sarah: So true. A book about the ensuing love story should follow.
My worst motel experience? Three words: Sea. Tac. Inn.
If you don’t want to walk around your room without shoes, then there’s a problem. Put towels on the pillows it was so bad.
@Violet: Come on, people, this is The Queen City, banking capitol of the South in the year of FSM twenty twelve. There are bars that serve on Sunday almost everywhere. Y’all chill an’ let our missionaries get with their program.
@Violet: I always carry my own booze just in case there’s not a bar nearby. Every hotel has an ice machine…
We did prepare ABL for the almost certain to be naked mopping, right? The guy already ‘forgot’ his pants – he’s halfway there already.
@TooManyJens: I once stayed the night in a place called the Salmon Bake in Denali National Park because that was all that was available when my sister-in-law made reservations. There were extension cords running all over the place to various lamps, etc. And we had the penthouse suite because we had our own bathroom. Other people had to hike down to a bathhouse from these hard-sided tents. Some of them were on a trip that included a fancy cruise up the coast to Anchorage and then a train trip to Denali. The fancy lodge associated with the cruise line was over-booked. They were not happy campers. But hey, our beds were clean and the bathroom was clean. I like nice hotels, but if the beds and bath are clean, I can deal with it.
@Violet: Most hotel wifi systems are easily hackable, in my experience.
Sucks if you’re not traveling with a linux box tho. Come prepared. (if u have a win box and airsnort u can just steal your neighbor’s MAC addy tho – use it when he’s asleep) heh
@Mike in NC:
Booked solid by the press corpse.
@Libby: Also too!
@HinTN:@Libby: It’s not a matter of being able to find booze. It’s having to drive afterward.
Fully half of the commenters on this thread are shameless pervs. =)
Breaking: Rev. Sun Myung Moon dead at 92
I remember that just eight years ago his Washington Times was considered an important source of power on the political right … then the real big players decided to use their money to buy the right, with far more money (and without some of the ridiculous trappings) and Moon’s rather pathetic little game was pretty much over.
Please ditch the odious ABL. She’s a bomb-throwing cancer on lungs of BJ.
@? Martin: It’s not a party until John is standing on the deck, naked and yelling incoherently about the evils of jack russel terriers.
@machine: If we wanted your opinion, we’d give it to you.
Until then, shut the fuck up and have a cookie
That leaves half of us who are ashamed about it.
Someone is a turd in the punchbowl at #90.
@machine: How bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard.
Mine host would disagree. Please fuck off yourself if you don’t like his house guests.
Villago Delenda Est
No, no, no.
“When we want your opinion, we’ll beat it out of you with a rubber hose.
I was worried.
Heather seems too nice to take a crowbar to JG and ABL.
Thanks for the vicarious thrills (and spills and pratfalls)!
Now, Dennis G and Doug J must to go to the inauguration.
I’m in for $20.
Villago Delenda Est
Really is too bad the vile sack of shit didn’t die 40 years ago.
Should be interesting to see how that pathetic cult of his fares now that he’s gone. Will there be a fight over the billions of bucks in the estate among the heirs?
@Villago Delenda Est: My line is better, but online delivery (as opposed to 6″ heels and a bullwhip) sort of mutes it a bit – so I’ll give you that.
Internet toughie isn’t really my style, in any case. I’m more “raging hormonal bitch”
@machine: Eh. The metaphor-mixing wasn’t bad, but apart from that, a subpar effort. You can do better. I believe in you!
@TooManyJens: I’ve two bad experiences at an Econolodge. Avoid those. I’m about 50/50 with Days Inn. Stayed at one though at a Texas beach town that is in my top ten best finds.
@Villago Delenda Est:
You can count on it, there is nothing more certain that when the heirs smell the money in the water they will begin attacking each other. I have seen it too many times over such small amounts of money.
One case where the eldest daughter had cared for her elderly (and altzheimers) father for two decades was sued by her siblings at his death for the two decades worth of SS benefits that she was somehow not allowed to spend on his care but was supposed to “bank” and then distribute to the heirs. It gets ugly out there.
@Villago Delenda Est: i certainly hope so. when i saw the hed move on the guardian’s site my first thought was the world is now a slightly less vile place. slightly.
edited to correct typo
So, what’re the guesses? Is machine Doug? Or ABL? Or Cole (sorry, apparently he’s really called “JG”)?
Or is there really someone out there so utterly pathetic they’d leave that comment in earnest, rather than merely to stir up the fecal matter?
I just assumed it was Romney.
@Warren Terra: Since when has ABL * not * had pathetic little manchild stalkers?
What did you put on the towels?
@SiubhanDuinne: YJ stole them from a Holiday Inn
@SiubhanDuinne: Forget where did you put the towels, where did you get the towels if things are that bad. And, from the mental wince I got from the description of the carpet, I’m suppressing an actual experience, I’m sure of it.
@scav: My favorite are the motels with the door to door meth dealers – those are special.
All I know is that they stay at Motel 6 on Supernatural all the time, and I’ve seen how that turns out.
So, Dean = John, Sam = ABL, and Castiel = Heather?
All I know is that they stay at Motel 6 on Supernatural all the time, and I’ve seen how that turns out.
So, Dean = John, Sam = ABL, and Castiel = Heather?
@Andre: I’ve never seen that, but I’m fairly certain that TV/movie rules dictate that the black one dies first.
@YellowJournalism: When I was a kid (late 1940’s and 1950’s) my family was on the road every summer going back to Oklahoma. This was before the interstates. My dad would never rent a “tourist cabin” or motel room without inspecting it first. I can’t remember when Best Western started, but it improved the situation. I can remember my Dad almost having a stroke the first time he had to pay more than ten bucks for a room. And that was a room with two double beds and a roll-away.
Still beats funneling money to the Marriott. I’ll leave a light on for you.
Our childhood motel chain was the Travelodge. I have fond memories of two housemaids (very cute blond and brunette white girls – it was a different time) somewhere in Colorado who kept our secret that we were travelling with our cat.
@cathyx: A well-timed kick to the gonads has already been scheduled!
@? Martin: Heather was told by Violet that if she got bored she should ask John about it. (In the earlier thread.)
Were all the bath-houses in CharTown filled?
of course they were/are.
Can I call’em, or can I call’em?
A Party Broke Out.
@YellowJournalism: Pretty much everything around Seatac is a cesspool.
JR in WV
Ms JR doesn’t want to stay in a motel with the doors on the outside. She wants a corridor inside where the doors are. This is because a co-worker was attacked, tied into a chair, robbed, and left there with a Do Not Disturb sign on the door – unable to move or make a sound. For 2 or 3 days until the payment ran out. True story… in western Virginia.
We now do Mid-range motels, with the doors on the inside. And now days you can bargain them down if the lot is empty after dark, just like it was a bazaar in Morocco!
@Violet: Which is why I carry my own for emergencies…
I usually do road trips without reservations. Look on the internet for a cluster of hotels on the edge of the city. Usually get the best rates in those. Pick one, set the GPS for that and when I get there I’ll drive around a bit and see how my favored chains look from the outside before I commit. Proximity to bars and restaurants counts in my score.
@Joel: I can recommend the Sleep Inn at SeaTac. I’ve stayed there several times and have always had a good, clean room and the free breakfast is good.
When I was dating a couger from the bay area, she’d make me park her Mercedes around the corner when checking in so they didn’t bump the price (when did Motel 6 stop being $6?).
@JGabriel: I’ll need another tab for Balloon Juice…
@PurpleGirl: Do you want Jerry or Halloween? We could probably score you some liquid…
@JGabriel: I had complete faith – I predicted at #33 that they would have brought their own adult beverages.
I remember traveling with the old Ps in the 70’s, and we’d have to drive to each motel in an area, walking in to inquire as to $. You might get $18 instead of $20 if you drive around to enough places. Gods! Then there was the suitcase breakfast, my dad required a full breakfast (bacon eggs toast coffee) but they wouldn’t pay for the cheapest meal of the day and cooked in the motel room. Nice of them to deposit their bacon grease in the sink trap. Great time saver too, you only have to wait 40 minutes for the electric frying pan etc to cool down to repack it. omg
I always enjoyed traveling with my own kid, we didn’t play that. Plenty snacks and supplies onboard, but go out for a hot breakfast. It’s a rule.
And Another Thing...
@? Martin: I think I stayed there once. There were mirrors everywhere, including the ceilings. At breakfast no one in the group mentioned it until ordering began…mostly coffee & orange juice when the giggles started. 360 degree mirrors are serious motivation.
@maven: “Were all the bath-houses in CharTown filled?”
You’re thinking of the RNC in Tampa
Is Motel 6 OK? My last experience with Super 8 was my last — dirtiest place I ever did see. And Days Inn had bedbugs. Ya gotta be really careful out there these days. Read Tripadvisor and AAA religiously and pay attention. It ain’t no joke any more.
What makes a good motel? Someplace without blood on the walls, no grey water in the faucet, and parking.
Traveling through rural Turkey taught me these things.
Husband and I stayed at the Days Inn once that we thought had cameras behind the mirror. So we gave them a show…
I had a rental a couple of weeks ago, and it provided me my first experience with satellite radio.
I split my time mostly with First Wave but also some with Lithium (90’s alternative). Awesome stations.
@The Other Bob: Hilarious.