Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Everybody saw this coming.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Our messy unity will be our strength.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Giving up is unforgivable.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

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82Comments

  2. 2.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    Assuming this is an open thread:

    From Joyess, previous thread: “Have I told anyone lately that this joint is my go-to blog and that I love it here? It’s true. I love all the funny and righteous people and I generally feel at home among this gently misanthropic mob.”

    Me too, me too.

  4. 4.

    different-church-lady

    Because cucumbers are currently in abundance:

    CUCUMBER CILANTRO COOLER

    1/2 cup cubed cucumber
    5 cilantro leaves

    Muddle ’em up in a shaker, add ice and

    2oz vodka
    3/4 oz. fresh lime juice
    3/4 oz. simple syrup

    shake, double strain into ice filled collins glass, and top with chilled club soda.

  7. 7.

    Wag

    @scav:

    Its that same old misanthropic smell, but we all have it, and like it.

    did I get my commas right? after the last thread, I never can tell

  8. 8.

    burnspbesq

    There is no combination of chemicals known to science that can adequately prepare one for Douthat. If it’s all the same to you, I’ll pass.

    BTW, just got back from seeing Pat Metheny. Was previously not very familiar with Chris Potter. That mf can play.

  10. 10.

    Wag

    @different-church-lady:

    My recipe for the perfect (summer) Gin and Tonic

    Muddle 1 slice of cucumber in a glass.
    Add ice
    Add 2 oz of Hendrick’s Gin
    Top with Tonic.

    Garnish with another slice of cucumber.

    Enjoy

    But now, we’re entering Winter, and Clementines are coming into season, so its time to shift gears.

    Fill a glass with ice
    Add 2 Oz of Bombay Sapphire Gin
    Squeeze in a slice of clementine
    Top with Tonic.

    Enoy

  11. 11.

    Yutsano

    Oh mighty Dionysius, I have indeed committed a grievous sin against your sacred alcohol. I used Laphroaig in tonight’s dinner. Don’t judge me harshly!

  12. 12.

    different-church-lady

    I have to say, Madonna’s talent has come a long way for a woman who couldn’t really sing very much when she first started out.

  14. 14.

    different-church-lady

    @Wag: Nice idea on the clementines. Still too early, but soon it will be time to break out the Calvados and start on some of my favorite autumnal libations.

  17. 17.

    Yutsano

    @Omnes Omnibus: I didn’t have any wine, and it’s practically a sin to have tomatoes with no alcohol when cooking them. The fact that the dish has sweet potatoes makes it work.

    PS: The NYD’s favourite scotch is Laphroaig. I might be amenable to others. Oh and he got a 30 year Macallan as a gift. He says he’s saving it, hopefully for law school graduation.

  18. 18.

    joeyess

    I don’t care how far you cast me out of the Balloon Juice club, I am never drinking anything with a cucumber in it.

  19. 19.

    eemom

    In the alternative, as we lawyers like to say, recipe:

    Don’t read Doughtwat.
    Don’t prepare.

    Easy peezy lemon squeezee.

  23. 23.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @joeyess:

    I am never drinking anything with a cucumber in it.

    I ain’t even eating a salad with a cucumber in it it.

  24. 24.

    Wag

    @different-church-lady: One of my favorite thugs about Gina is that there are subtle variation that can be accuentuated by different fruits or vegetables. You’ll never go wrong with a lime, but you can do so much more if you explore a bit.

  32. 32.

    Omnes Omnibus

    So, I have run out of brandy…. Should I switch to tequila or Romanian moonshine from my ex-father-in-law?

  33. 33.

    different-church-lady

    @Omnes Omnibus: Alright, alright…

    APPLE BLOSSOM

    1.5 Calvados
    1 apple juice
    .5 lemon juice
    .25 maple syrup

    Shake

    But it’s not really fantastic until there’s a real snap in the air.

  37. 37.

    dance around in your bones

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’d go with the Romanian moonshine.

    Tequila always gives me a hell of a hangover.

    Not that I’ve had any experience with Romanian moonshine. Father-in-law or no father-in-law.

    ETA: ExSqueeze me, EX-father-in-law.

  40. 40.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Omnes Omnibus: Switch to tequila if you want to end up lying the road in the wee hours of the morning watching your bicycle tires spinning around after you dumped it crossing the railroad tracks while trying to get home to your apartment from a wild party in your buddy’s dorm. Did I forget to mention that this all happens after you fell down a flight of fourteen stairs?

    It took me a year till I could smell a lemon without feeling nauseous.

  45. 45.

    dance around in your bones

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:

    When I lived in Mexico I was well-known for being cheerful and funny on the tequila shots, right up until I did a face-plant in the fire pit, and people had to drag me to my camper, unconscious until the next day.

    It’s why we called it To-Kill-Ya.

  49. 49.

    dance around in your bones

    @Yutsano: Hey, I liked that song – AND the tequila bottle.

    That girl looks remarkably like me :) ‘cept my hair is longer.

    ETA: Also, in Mexico, they called it ‘Two Lines in The Sand’, from the drag marks left by your feet .

  51. 51.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, Waits isn’t a bad guide to your tequila slide. When I saw him at the Golden Bear in Huntington Beach he pulled a beer out of his inside sport coat pocket. Which he told us he bought from the Brooks Brothers. Good and Will.

  52. 52.

    dollared

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: I didn’t have a car, so after my over-the-curb-for-no-reason crash I had to get right back on my bike and ride to work the next day. But I haven’t had Jack Daniels in the 30 years since then…whoda thunk doing Jack shots in place of the bong hits in Bong Backgammon would be a bad idea?

  57. 57.

    dollared

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall: I’m really confused. Shouldn’t one prepare for Douthat with a six ounce tumbler of altar wine? That’s what the young associate pastor used with Douthat, back when he was learning the ropes.

  58. 58.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @dollared: Yep. I haven’t had tequila again. A year later someone bought me a shot, I had to run to the bathroom when it came up a minute later. Ten years later my wife made me a margarita. Couldn’t finish it.

    Who would have thought chasing tequila with beer that night would be such an issue?

  60. 60.

    dance around in your bones

    @Yutsano: Oh, if he’s willin’, so am I.

    But I probably wouldn’t hold up to close scrutiny.

    My hair IS longer, though.

  62. 62.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @dance around in your bones:

    But I probably wouldn’t hold up to close scrutiny.

    But who does hold up to it any more?

    To paraphrase Animal House, Old, bald, fat, and pasty is no way to go through life, son.

  64. 64.

    dance around in your bones

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, hell, honey – neither am I.

    P.S. I got so hammered on Cointreau when I was a teenager (stolen from some parent’s liquor cabinet) that I could never even SMELL it again without gagging.

    We also used to make these things we called suicides? A mix of a little bit of every bottle in the parental units liquor bar? and share it around in the park, after dark.

    Oh, ABQ.

  67. 67.

    dance around in your bones

    @Omnes Omnibus: Hey! No fair with the {censored} part!

    I’ve been brutally honest here tonight.

    Ok, I remember a guy who convinced me to swig straight gin from the bottle at 8am, just for kicks. It was kinda tasty.

  72. 72.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Omnes Omnibus: Not weird at all. That’s a hell of a good tune, actually. Listen to the drums and the rhythm – it stomps the backbeat (1-2-3-4). Mick and John McVie had been together as a rhythm section for over a decade by then.

    That particular incarnation of Fleetwood Mac nailed this beat on their best songs. I used to blast this one on the way to work down the 57 freeway between Upland and Irvine. Always got me to work in a good mood.

  73. 73.

    dance around in your bones

    I just remember Stevie Nicks twirling, twirling towards freedom.

    Yes, I saw them several times back in the day.

    Ok, I was probably stoned out of my gourd.

  76. 76.

    Steeplejack

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Nice, even at eight in the morning.

    I packed it in early (for me) last night. Somewhat despondent because DougJ’s gritty-romantic-urban thread didn’t catch fire (for me).

  79. 79.

    Steeplejack

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Nice, even at eight in the morning. (Previous commented moderated because of bad e-mail address. FYWP.)

    I packed it in early (for me) last night. Somewhat despondent because DougJ’s gritty-romantic-urban thread didn’t catch fire (for me).

  82. 82.

    Mike D.

    Douthat ia actually pretty reasonable here. Basically, he’s right about why the economy isn’t sinking Obama, he calls for a faster-growing economy like we have been for years, and he demurs on the (crucial, but his point is political) question of what policies bring that about. His only real fault is his unsupported assertion that people are going to stop demanding a faster-improving economy. Other than that, it’s probably the least objectionable column he yet written for the Grey lady.

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