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You are here: Home / Serious Question

Serious Question

by John Cole|  October 4, 20128:26 pm| 106 Comments

This post is in: Clown Shoes

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Why do bottles of tonic water always explode when you open them, even when they have been sitting for three days? No other carbonated beverage does that.

John +2 and wearing a wet t-shirt

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Reader Interactions

106Comments

  1. 1.

    Cervantes

    October 4, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    Do you find that they “explode” regardless of temperature?

  2. 2.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    October 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    John +2 and wearing a wet t-shirt

    Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix!

  3. 3.

    redshirt

    October 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Thirsty Thursday claims another victim.

  4. 4.

    OC

    October 4, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    What are you drinking tonight?

  5. 5.

    Baud

    October 4, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    I blame Obama.

  6. 6.

    Pooh

    October 4, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    Where was Tunch during all this?

  7. 7.

    hhex65

    October 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    You just gotta keep your mouth over the top when you open it.

  8. 8.

    RedKitten

    October 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    John +2 and wearing a wet t-shirt

    You are SUCH a tease!

  9. 9.

    Eric S

    October 4, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    @Pooh:
    Where ever Tunch was he now hiding from the tonic water volcano.

  10. 10.

    redshirt

    October 4, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Carbonation is of the Devil, I say!

  11. 11.

    Baud

    October 4, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    If you had said this

    John +2 and only wearing a wet t-shirt

    I would have forgiven you for the slow servers.

  12. 12.

    Pooh

    October 4, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    @Eric S: I’m just saying, I wonder if the bottles were really “just sitting” on the counter, or if kitteh haz been shopping.

  13. 13.

    Corner Stone

    October 4, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I disagree. I think Obama executed his debate strategy very well and made..sure to…
    Oh, wait.

  14. 14.

    trollhattan

    October 4, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: Envision OOF man in soggy striped (horizontal) shirt with hand extended towards camera, being stalked by large white thing.

  15. 15.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    October 4, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    @redshirt:

    Carbonation is of the Devil, I say!

    When I was drinking I always regarded mixed drinks as the Devil’s Vise Grips. Take it straight and pass out like a man. Of course, that may be why I finally gave it up.

  16. 16.

    MobiusKlein

    October 4, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    Temperature.

  17. 17.

    Spatula

    October 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    I disagree. I think Obama executed his debate strategy very well and made..sure to…
    Oh, wait.

    Racist.

  18. 18.

    Yutsano

    October 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    @RedKitten: Heh. Down killer.

    PS how goes the gestation of the SiblingKitteh?

  19. 19.

    Corner Stone

    October 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    When I was drinking I always regarded mixed drinks as the Devil’s Vise Grips

    Your newsletter? I would like to subscribe.

  20. 20.

    PsiFighter37

    October 4, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    It’s been a long time since Cole posted with a +(drink number). Welcome back, old friend.

    Also, too, wet t-shirt pics FTW. Just sayin’.

  21. 21.

    Corner Stone

    October 4, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    @Spatula: And a hearty racist to you good sir! We’re having beautiful weather in the Greater Houston Metrosexual Area.

  22. 22.

    Pooh

    October 4, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate on what John looks like in a wet T-shirt.

  23. 23.

    Spatula

    October 4, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Also too: Several people told Cole to ask me to produce an Obama portrait. Already done: Obama by Tim Otte

  24. 24.

    Lavocat

    October 4, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    It’s the quinine. Quinine fucking HATES you. It’ll fuck your shit up!

  25. 25.

    Corner Stone

    October 4, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    @PsiFighter37: Aren’t you forgetting something?

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    October 4, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    @Pooh: Have you ever made Papier-mâché volcanoes?

  27. 27.

    BGinCHI

    October 4, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Worst. Wet. T-shirt. Contest. Ever.

  28. 28.

    JenJen

    October 4, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Mmmmmm. What kind of gin? And have you ever tried a gin and tonic with a Key Lime garnish? HEAVEN.

  29. 29.

    Punchy

    October 4, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    But are you wearing her wet t-shirt?

  30. 30.

    RedKitten

    October 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    @Yutsano: Pretty good. I’m feeling well (other than this awful cold right now). ‘Tis frustrating being on such a limited diet, though. I have glucose intolerance, which seems to be rapidly transitioning to full-blown gestational diabetes. So not only do I have to avoid all the regular stuff that pregnant women have to avoid, but I also have to basically eat like I’m on Atkins. I’m French, for fuck’s sake! I need bread!

    But that’s the only frustration. Other than that, everything is peachy, and SiblingKitten is happily thumping away in my belly as we speak.

  31. 31.

    abo gato

    October 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    John, would you like some home made, craft tonic? I’ve been making it lately and let me tell you, it will kick your ass with the taste. It is not carbonated, so you add a tablespoon or so of the craft tonic, you then add club soda. I use one of those Soda Stream things to make carbonated water and it is really, really good.

    If you want some, send me an email and I will send you a bottle.

  32. 32.

    BigG

    October 4, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    This always happens to me too, so I couldn’t resist trying to
    look this up. Also, I’ve noticed that bubbles continue nucleating long after the initial opening, compared to other carbonated beverages. Sounds like they just pack an extra amount of gas in it.

    http://www.ehow.com/how_7745465_open-bottle-tonic-overflow.html

    I’m trying to understand bubbles, which some say is my excuse to make gin and tonics for observation purposes.

  33. 33.

    Valdivia

    October 4, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    That is a very vivid picture you paint John. I drink diet tonic water (my new addiction) and that never happens to me. hmmm.

  34. 34.

    Pooh

    October 4, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    @Corner Stone: Do mentos and coke count?

  35. 35.

    BGinCHI

    October 4, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    @abo gato: Um, can you hook some other brothers up?

    I’d be really curious how you make it. I’ve been close to making bitters lately but I didn’t think of tonic.

  36. 36.

    Sarah, Proud and Tall

    October 4, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    @Spatula:

    You’re a very talented young man.

  37. 37.

    Violet

    October 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    @Spatula: That’s a great portrait. He looks so young!

    Why do bottles of tonic water always explode when you open them,

    Because tonic water is the best mixer in the world and it can’t wait to jump into that glass so you can have a gin and tonic, the best drink in the world.

  38. 38.

    redshirt

    October 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    I can’t burp. I’ve burped maybe 6 times my entire life (that I can recall – perhaps my baby years were different), and each was a miraculous accident.

    And so, I mean it: Carbonation is of the Devil. I swell up, ready to explode.

    One of the reasons I gave up soda many many years ago.

  39. 39.

    burnspbesq

    October 4, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    Tunch, using a Klingon cloaking device, snuck past you and shook the bottle.

  40. 40.

    Corner Stone

    October 4, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    @redshirt: Jeebus. You poor son of a bitch.

  41. 41.

    Anya

    October 4, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    @Spatula: asshole

  42. 42.

    WereBear

    October 4, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Are you impatient opening the tonic bottle, n’est–ce pas?

    You have to crack the seal and then close it up again while the bubbles throw a tantrum, then slooooooooowly open it for reals.

  43. 43.

    TOP123

    October 4, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Answer: What Cervantes said @1

    Personal Recommendation: Q Tonic–fine carbonation, natural quinine, and agave instead of sugar. Brilliant. Very addictive. Or maybe that’s the gin.

    Personal Request: What BGinCHI said @35! Details, abo gato, please!

  44. 44.

    BGinCHI

    October 4, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    @TOP123: I like that stuff too but damn it’s pricey.

  45. 45.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    October 4, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    @WereBear: what the bear said.
    Gin or vodka or something else?

  46. 46.

    redshirt

    October 4, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    @Corner Stone: Oh, it’s not all bad. I can fart symphonies! :)

  47. 47.

    Anoniminous

    October 4, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    New non-alcoholic drink of choice in the Anoniminous household:

    1. Fill a glass half full of club soda
    2. Put 8 to 10 dashes of bitters, we tend to put angostura but cherry, orange, and lemon work too
    3. Fill glass with as much ice as possible
    4. Top off with more club soda

  48. 48.

    scav

    October 4, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    @TOP123: Ditto, plus @BGinCHI‘s bitters. We can have an early pick-up recipe exchange right here.

  49. 49.

    Concerned Citizen

    October 4, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: Agreed. Where’s the proof?

  50. 50.

    jibeaux

    October 4, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    Seltzer water does this too. I don’t think it’s the quinine.

  51. 51.

    Violet

    October 4, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    @TOP123: Can’t do agave except in very small doses. I prefer real sugar. If not that, then maple syrup or honey. Anything else upsets my stomach.

  52. 52.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    October 4, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    Why do bottles of tonic water always explode when you open them, even when they have been sitting for three days?

    Because they hate our freedoms. And they hate our way of life.

  53. 53.

    Baud

    October 4, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    @RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist:

    That’s why I only drink Freedom Water.

  54. 54.

    SRW1

    October 4, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    My guess would be that it’s the +2. At least if that condition applied while opening the tonic bottle.

  55. 55.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    October 4, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    John, did it happen in slow motion causing your surprised look to turn to pleasure as you splashed the remainder all over your ample chest, while the Cars loudly rocked the place and your friends circled you and began dancing frenetically?

    That always happens to me when I’m drinking tonic water.

  56. 56.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    October 4, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    I don’t generally like carbonated drinks. If they’re too fizzy I slosh them until the bubbles dissipate.
    When I was in Mexico I got ‘surprised’ by several Cokes. This was safe to drink so I ordered it in the bottle. Very explosively fizzy. Now that I think of it Mexico City’s elevation might have had something to do with it. Anyway, it washed out.

  57. 57.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    October 4, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    Rachel Maddow is doing a fucking killer segment of all first debates of incumbent presidents getting creamed since 1976. Good times. And I still don’t think Obama did all that bad last night.

  58. 58.

    Yutsano

    October 4, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    @RedKitten: First breakfast after kidlet is born: pain chocolat. I’ll even hand deliver it if I have to!

  59. 59.

    Comrade Mary

    October 4, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    Could be worse, John. You could be this girl. (Explanation.)

  60. 60.

    TOP123

    October 4, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    @scav: Oh, Amen! I’m in, though my best drink recipe is for a Martini… and it’s pretty simple! ;)

    @BGinCHI: gulp, don’t I know it. Their point on the package is valid though; why put shite tonic with your expensive gin? Still, it’s a pricey habit…

    @Violet: haven’t heard about that. I have no feelings about agave one way or the other, but the nice thing is this tonic is not at all sweet. That’s the key point for me. Wonder if one could make a cane sugar version. I feel like maple syrup would be too intense. Have you tried Fever Tree? Sweeter than Q, but a good tonic with noticeable quinine bitterness, and made with cane sugar, I believe according to the empty bottle right here in my recycling pile. Slightly less ridiculously expensive than Q, as well.

  61. 61.

    trollhattan

    October 4, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    @abo gato:
    Ooh, me likie concept.

    For barmanship cred, I planted a lime tree specifically for G&T season. Tree now produces like crazy, but the fruit isn’t usable until August, months into G&T season. Darn you, nature! [shakes fist]

    Trader Joes sometimes stocks oddball and delicious tonic. For awhile they carried a brand from New Zealand, doesn’t get much more obscure than that.

  62. 62.

    virginia

    October 4, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    The Kipling anti-malarial effect, John Cole. Quinine, baby. Blew it out then, blows it now.

    Much as you should be doing this election season.

    Where on earth are you?

  63. 63.

    virginia

    October 4, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    Crack me up … Thanks for a good laugh.

  64. 64.

    RedKitten

    October 4, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    @Yutsano: Oh yes. We will definitely be hitting the Tim Horton’s drive-through on our way home from the hospital, to pick up a bunch of donuts and chocolate croissants. All washed down with a ginormous glass of milk (another thing I’ve had to cut down due to all the sugar in it.)

  65. 65.

    Concerned Citizen

    October 4, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    I would like an expose on Spatula. I read this site, but not closely enough. I am reading accusations of him being an asshole (back to the Dead portrait post from Cole, and this post) and he calls someone a racist for no reason.

    Why is this? Anyone got good past links to catch up?

    Spatula, the art is great, but you’ll get more bees with honey than by being a dick.

  66. 66.

    SRW1

    October 4, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    It’s a bit like a dog you inadvertently lock out: if the CO2 has to spend a long time with nothing but water, it just can’t contain itself when the ordeal finally comes to an end.

  67. 67.

    BGinCHI

    October 4, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    @RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist: Mexican Coke is awesome. It’s made with cane sugar instead of HFCS. Comes in glass bottles. Check your labels. We get it readily around the city (Mexican Pepsi too).

  68. 68.

    Comrade Mary

    October 4, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    @RedKitten: Drive through on the way home? Honey, family should be bringing The Full Timmy to you once the cord is clamped.

  69. 69.

    PeakVT

    October 4, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: Easy, killer. You just might get what you’re asking for.

  70. 70.

    Monkus

    October 4, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    Kombucha

  71. 71.

    RedKitten

    October 4, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    @Comrade Mary: Good point. I hadn’t thought of that. And yes, that WOULD be lovely!

  72. 72.

    Yutsano

    October 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    @RedKitten: WOO-HOO!! Yay Timmy’s! I wonder what kind of looks I’d get from the border guards if I said my rerason for visiting Vancouver was a Timmy’s run.

  73. 73.

    trollhattan

    October 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    @BGinCHI:
    Swear to bog, Costco carries it here. Not terribly interested myself, but it has quite a following.

  74. 74.

    BGinCHI

    October 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    @trollhattan: Wow. I’ll check next time I’m there.

    Costco here carries cases of the Mexican Coke I mentioned above. We don’t drink much soda, but in summer after exercise it’s damn nice.

  75. 75.

    TOP123

    October 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    @BGinCHI: Seconded… and in Atlanta you can sample them all!

    Still have the bottle from a Coke Olympics edition that I bought in Japan; the series had the flags of various participating nations on it–in this case, North Korea…

  76. 76.

    eemom

    October 4, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Club soda does it too.

    Also too, is it SUNDAY already? (Yes I AM going to say that on every one of the eleventy billion posts Cole posterates between now and Sunday, after promising that he’ll be too busy making potato salad for the entire population of West Virginia to talk to us until then.)

  77. 77.

    BGinCHI

    October 4, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    @TOP123: I like Jarritos a lot too. Also cane sugar. And so many good flavors.

  78. 78.

    RedKitten

    October 4, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    @Yutsano: They’d probably sympathize and welcome you quite nicely.

  79. 79.

    ranchandsyrup

    October 4, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Always open bottles of tonic slowly. Crack the cap a.bit, wait and then ease the cap off. I go for cans to avoid the eruption if I can find them.

  80. 80.

    TOP123

    October 4, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    @BGinCHI: I’ve seen, never had, I’m ashamed to admit. Will correct that as soon as possible.

    I certainly hope you’ve had the great Moxie?

  81. 81.

    kindness

    October 4, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    What kind of Gin you drinking John?

  82. 82.

    ranchandsyrup

    October 4, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    @BGinCHI: I have a jarrito a day and no other soda. Today, mandarin orange. Glad they’re easy to find these days. Occasionally one “Mexican” coke. That’s how they advertise them here.

  83. 83.

    abo gato

    October 4, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    BGinCHI and trollhattan I used this recipe:

    http://www.jeffreymorgenthaler.com/2008/how-to-make-your-own-tonic-water/

    I had to order the cinchona bark from someplace online, but it is easy to make, and oh, oh so good. Also, there is a LOT of straining involved to get it to where it is not a sludge, thanks to that cinchona bark powder.

  84. 84.

    Violet

    October 4, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    @TOP123: Haven’t tried any of those. Will look into them. Thanks for the recommendation.

  85. 85.

    22over7

    October 4, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Not only does it asplode all over the damn place, it also loses its fizz within a nanosecond upon opening. Too bad I love the gin and tonic so much.

    How come Cole, the depressed misanthrope, always seems to be having more fun than anyone I know?

  86. 86.

    Central Planning

    October 4, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    @abo gato: Got any references for how to make your own tonic? Web sites? Reputable distributors?

    Thanks!

  87. 87.

    Central Planning

    October 4, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    @Violet: Mmmm. Maple syrup…. We’ve tapped a couple of the maple trees in our yard. I would say each year we get close to a gallon of syrup after boiling it down, either on the stove or on the gas grill outside (connected to the house natural gas).

    Homemade maple syrup tastes better than any other kind of maple syrup.

  88. 88.

    Central Planning

    October 4, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    @TOP123:

    Still have the bottle from a Coke Olympics edition that I bought in Japan; the series had the flags of various participating nations on it—in this case, North Korea…

    Anyone else think the North Korean flag looks like the Pepsi logo?

  89. 89.

    Yutsano

    October 4, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    @BGinCHI:Jarritos are da shiznit. It’s one of the advantages of living in an ag state.

    @RedKitten: I’ve been interviewed by Canadian border guards before. I actually made the guy laugh cause I was so not a threat.

  90. 90.

    TOP123

    October 4, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    @Central Planning: Try this–first had sitting with my brother in the sugar house on his farm on a chilly evening watching the sap boil over the arc and stoking the fire: take Ball jars, reasonably clean. Pour with one measure (however measured is up to you) good whisk(e)y. Top with ladle of syrup just off the boil. Enjoy.

  91. 91.

    TOP123

    October 4, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    @Central Planning: More the ROK flag, I think? With the Taeguk?

  92. 92.

    jiminpdx

    October 4, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Simple solution: twist the cap slowly until the seal breaks and let the pressure release. There’ll be some fizz but not explosive. When the fizz subsides, finish twisting off the cap. Cheers!

  93. 93.

    SiubhanDuinne

    October 4, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: You know any pix he posts will have his hands hiding his hard perky nipples. Ask ABL if you don’t believe me.

  94. 94.

    trollhattan

    October 4, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    @abo gato:
    Right on, thanks!

    Let’s see: lime tree, check; tonic recipe, check; eyes bathtub.

  95. 95.

    clayton

    October 4, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Hi raven.

  96. 96.

    SiubhanDuinne

    October 4, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    @redshirt:

    I can fart symphonies!

    Why so can I, or so can any man;
    But will they toot if you do fart for them?

  97. 97.

    TOP123

    October 4, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    @abo gato: Thanks! Pretty excited about this.

  98. 98.

    The Other Chuck

    October 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    @Yutsano: Most flavors of jarritos are pure yum, but the tamarind flavor … ugh. liquid shit. And I like tamarinds.

  99. 99.

    SiubhanDuinne

    October 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    @clayton:

    Raven? Moi? Mais non!

  100. 100.

    ImpureScience

    October 4, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Anther contender for the title of most explosive soft drink: Manhattan Special, marvelous espresso soda but produces torrents of foam no matter the temperature or how long it has been sitting…

  101. 101.

    clayton

    October 4, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Liar.

  102. 102.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    October 4, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    You were supposed to have the wet t-shirt contest when Imani and Heather were over!

    Timing, it’s everything. ;p

  103. 103.

    Central Planning

    October 5, 2012 at 5:27 am

    @TOP123: “reasonably clean”. Heh. That sounds great. I know I’ll remember that in February.

    @TOP123:

    More the ROK flag, I think? With the Taeguk?

    You’re right, my bad! That’s what I get for posting late.

  104. 104.

    W. Kiernan

    October 5, 2012 at 6:21 am

    No other carbonated beverage does that.

    Not so! See if you can find a bottle of Manhattan Special coffee soda. It tastes great, but DO NOT open a bottle of it over your lap while driving your car. Foams up and overflows like a bottle of champagne.

  105. 105.

    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist

    October 5, 2012 at 6:42 am

    Mexican Coke tastes just like Kosher Coke to me. We get the latter in the local stores because of the large Orthodox population. HFCS tastes sour and stale by comparison. And the bubbles are different.

  106. 106.

    josephdietrich

    October 5, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    Apfelschorle. 60/40 apple juice/sparkling water mix. Try it, you’ll like it.

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