Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

All hail the time of the bunny!

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

Disappointing to see gov. newsom with his finger to the wind.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

T R E 4 5 O N

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

You are here: Home / Civil Rights / LGBTQ Rights / Gay Rights are Human Rights / Blow Job Police, Arrest This Man

Blow Job Police, Arrest This Man

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I’m not a legal expert, but I’ll wager that Ken Cuckoo-cinelli is overstating his case when he says that the only way to prosecute a 47 year-old man for soliciting oral sex from a 17 year-old girl in a state where the age of consent is 18 is by using the anti-sodomy laws. The Supreme Court invalidated anti-sodomy laws in the Lawrence v Texas decision in 2003.  Ken’s been Attorney General since 2010, and he was in the Virginia Senate since 2002, so he’s had plenty of time to try to change the Virginia law to remove any loophole created by Lawrence. Instead, he’s mounting his campaign for governor on the back of a 17 year-old girl just to cement a new wingnut talking point about how gays having rights means dirty old men can rob the childhoods of innocent young girls.

Dan Savage is always making the point that the American Taliban came for the gays first, but they’re really gunning for anyone, gay or straight, who doesn’t practice sex the way that Baby Jesus likes it: penis in the vagina, bareback. Here’s another example of why he’s right, because anti-sodomy laws aren’t just for homosexuals.

Reader Interactions

78Comments

  3. 3.

    Gin & Tonic

    When I think that the way to prevent this clown from becoming governor is to vote for McAuliffe, I breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t live in Virginia.

  4. 4.

    Calouste

    Blimey, the age of consent in Virginia is 18? I’m fairly sure that makes it the state with the highest crime rate in Union, just that the vast majority of those crimes will never be prosecuted.

  8. 8.

    Garbo

    If only Bush had been offered the Commissioner of Baseball job, it would have saved the world a heap of trouble.I think “Cooch” needs to be offered a job as Commissioner of Thinking Constantly About Blow Jobs. Get him a tiled room with a super fast Internet connection and he can spend the rest of his life on “research.” Leave us the hell alone.

  9. 9.

    gocart mozart

    From wiki

    Virginia

    The age of consent in Virginia is 18, with a close in age exception that allows teenagers aged 15 to 17 to engage in sexual acts but only with a partner younger than 18. However, the legislation is not clear-cut, and the details are discussed below:

    Any penetrative sexual act other than penile-vaginal intercourse is defined in Virginia law as ‘sodomy.’ Section 18.2-361 of the Code of Virginia entitled “Crimes against nature” states in part;

    “If any person carnally knows in any manner any brute animal, or carnally knows any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth, or voluntarily submits to such carnal knowledge, he or she shall be guilty of … felony…”

    In addition, any sexual intercourse outside marriage is defined in Virginia law as ‘fornication.’ Section 18.2-344 of the Code of Virginia entitled “Crimes against nature” states;

    “Any person, not being married, who voluntarily shall have sexual intercourse with any other person, shall be guilty of fornication, punishable as a Class 4 misdemeanor.”

    The courts of Virginia have ruled that these statutes are not invalid under the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Lawrence v. Texas since that case only applied to adults, and the age of majority in Virginia is 18. This means that those 18 and above involved in consensual activity in private may have a defense in court, but those under 18 do not.

    Section § 18.2-63 of the Code refers to minors younger than 15, while § 18.2-371 is about 15-, 16- and 17-year-olds.

    Section 18.2-63 states in part:

    “If any person carnally knows, without the use of force, a child thirteen years of age or older but under fifteen years of age, such person shall be guilty of … felony … For the purposes of this section, (i) a child under the age of thirteen years shall not be considered a consenting child and (ii) “carnal knowledge” includes the acts of sexual intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, analingus, anal intercourse, and animate and inanimate object sexual penetration.”

    Consensual sex where one partner is 15, 16 or 17 and the other is over 18 is a class 1 misdemeanor.

    § 18.2-371. Causing or encouraging acts rendering children delinquent, abused, etc.; penalty; abandoned infant. Any person 18 years of age or older, including the parent of any child, who (i) willfully contributes to, encourages, or causes any act, omission, or condition which renders a child delinquent, in need of services, in need of supervision, or abused or neglected as defined in § 16.1-228, or (ii) engages in consensual sexual intercourse with a child 15 or older not his spouse, child, or grandchild, shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.’

  12. 12.

    Redshift

    @Calouste: No, it’s not. The reason why this case wasn’t prosecuted as soliciting a minor or whatever is because outside of the anti-sodomy statute, it would be at most a misdemeanor. But Cuccinelli, despite being the top legal officer of the state, has never let the law get in the way of a good crusade.

    And as usual with political “moral” crusaders, “Thou shalt not bear false witness” is apparently only for other people.

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    So Cooch would be fine with a 47 year old man soliciting vaginal intercourse from a 17 year old girl?

  15. 15.

    22over7

    “he’s mounting his campaign for governor on the back of a 17 year-old girl…”

    Metaphor just ran screaming from the room.

  16. 16.

    sm*t cl*de

    he’s mounting his campaign for governor on the back of a 17 year-old girl

    Wearing spurs. And a cowboy hat.

  18. 18.

    Zifnab

    Good news, everybody! Prostitution laws don’t exist, according to Virginia’s AG. I’m sure David Vitter will be thrilled to hear this.

    I can’t wait to hear why Laurence v. Texas made rape legal, too. Get those Stubbenville kids on the line. Ken just paved their way to sweet, sweet freedom!

  19. 19.

    Davis X. Machina

    How the hell do you top this? What’s the next level?

    The Crazy is like a drug — it takes more and more to get you off, until how much it takes to get you off, and the LD50, start to approach each other.

  20. 20.

    mouse tolliver

    And yet another Tea Party Republican proves that when they talk about small governement, they want it small enough to fit in your anus or vagina.

    Also too, as Rachel pointed out last night, Governor Ultrasound and his whole miserable family are on the take, accepting expensive gifts from one of his donors.

  21. 21.

    NonyNony

    @mouse tolliver:

    Governor Ultrasound and his whole miserable family are on the take, accepting expensive gifts from one of his donors.

    What? Only one?

  23. 23.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    As soon as we have a white President again, Virginia will go back to electing sane Democrats.

  24. 24.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    @MikeJ:

    So Cooch would be fine with a 47 year old man soliciting vaginal intercourse from a 17 year old girl?

    that was my first question too. But then I realized that would have been better because the girl might have wound up with a “gift from God” pregnancy. Or something.

    Seriously, what is it these right-wingers can’t figure out about the concept of “consenting + adult”?

  26. 26.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Just so we’re clear here, what *exactly* is the problem with anal sex for these people? Biblical injunction? It’s just icky? I went to seminary, and I don’t remember this.

  27. 27.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Also, while we’re on the subject, I wish someone would read the fucking 9th and 10th amendments. To wit:

    Amendment IX

    The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

    Amendment X

    The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

    Note that IX mentions *the people.* Just because sodomy isn’t mentioned in the document doesn’t deny that right to *the people.*

  28. 28.

    Yutsano

    So basically no giving head to the NYD in VA. Good to know. Good thing he’s going to law school in CT.

  30. 30.

    JoyceH

    The AG’s office is saying this isn’t about sexual orientation. Great. We need to make sure that the voters of Virginia understand clearly that the GOP’s candidate for governor really does want oral sex between a husband and wife to be a felony.

  31. 31.

    Kay

    When Republicans passed the constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage in OH it invalidated a definition used in domestic violence prosecutions. The domestic violence law had to be quickly changed.
    Except Democrats just went ahead and changed the definition. They didn’t say they could never again arrest a live-in unmarried for domestic violence.
    Because they weren’t grandstanding political hacks about it.

  32. 32.

    mellowjohn

    to paraphrase Adrian Cronauer: “Cooch is in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.”

  33. 33.

    Maus

    “Dan Savage is always making the point that the American Taliban came for the gays first, but”

    Except that plenty of these people are trying to re-activate the sodomy laws and exploit situations like these to get homosexuality re-illegalized by the State.

  34. 34.

    eemom

    Let me try to parlay my mortification at residing in the state that elected this creature into a constructive lesson.

    THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE DON’T FUCKING VOTE. If you didn’t vote in 2010 when the teatards took over the House, FUCK YOU. If you live in Virginia and didn’t vote in 2009 when this termite was elected, FUCK YOU.

    kthxbai.

  39. 39.

    chopper

    who doesn’t practice sex the way that Baby Jesus likes it: penis in the vagina, bareback two wetsuits and a dildo.

    fixed.

  41. 41.

    ant

    @efgoldman: thanks for that link.

    I was confused.

    In 2009, he told a newspaper that he supported restrictions on the sexual behavior of consenting adults: “My view is that homosexual acts, not homosexuality, but homosexual acts are wrong. They’re intrinsically wrong. And I think in a natural law based country it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that. … They don’t comport with natural law.” As a result, the law’s text remains unchanged a decade after the Supreme Court’s ruling.

    Also, too, he could have just could have brought misdemeanor charges, but that wasn’t good enough. Getting a blowjob from a 17 year old should be a felony.

    Nice.

    Also too, Molly did a bit on this subject in Texas.

    see it here… http://youtu.be/GaUl6x1YXpg?t=3m

  43. 43.

    Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.)

    @eemom:

    What bothers me most is that he’s a corporatist hack who ran the Democratic Party into the ground when he ran it. Beyond that, he’s an outsider in a state that often resents outsiders. There are exceptions, to be sure; Mark Warner grew up in Connecticut, I believe. But he came here and started a business and worked for the state party, and took on what was seen at the time as a sure losing race against John Warner in 1996. (He came within a few points of winning, but few foresaw that he’d run that well.) Virginians see McAuliffe as a carpetbagger who leapt to the head of the line so he could be governor, without ever having done anything for teh commonwealth to earn a shot.

    Virginians are funny people. We’re perfectly willing to choose carpetbaggers, but we like them to show a little humility. I’m not saying anything either way about whether this is admirable or just dumb, hidebound and narrow-minded. But that’s how we are. In 2009, Creigh Deeds wiped the floor with McAuliffe in the primary, in great part because many voters chose a guy who grew up here over the leapfrogging outsider.

    Now, about the corporatist hack knock, which I see as the more important one, well, I know that this is Virginia, and we aren’t going to send Al Franken or Sherrod Brown to Richmond or Washington, but I think we could do better than McAuliffe.

  44. 44.

    Chuck Butcher

    @eemom:

    What exactly do “we” have against him?

    Other than that he’s a corporate tool, a liar, tried to blow up the DNC over FL, and… Well, since I don’t live in VA and he’s not my problem I think google will help you out without my leftist biases clouding the issue. You can pretty safely vote for him vs Cooch but I’m sorry…

  45. 45.

    Keith

    What I wouldn’t give for someone to yell out during a Cuccinelli press conference, “Hey, Cooch, go suck a bag of dicks!”

  48. 48.

    Hill Dweller

    OT: GLAAD is giving their award for “advocacy” to Barack Obama Bill Clinton.

  49. 49.

    eemom

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.):

    Thanks, for a thorough and reasonable response.

    But shit, what a no-win situation. From what I understood in ’09, Creigh Deeds had rock solid cred, not only in being homegrown but in his politics and history. I mean, the freaking Washington Post editorial board fell all over itself to support him. And look where that got us.

    I can’t tell you how many obama voters I canvassed who just didn’t want to bother to vote that year. It drove me nuts.

    Have I mentioned, FUCK those people? And I don’t usually use this phrase but srsly, they can all fucking DIAF.

  50. 50.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @eemom: Those voters, young people and disproportionately disadvantaged minorities aren’t the most reliable voters in the first place. is too Obama’s credit that he was able to energize them but it should be considered the exception, not the rule. When an “old” white guy is running again, turnout will return to normal.

  53. 53.

    JoyceH

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.):

    What bothers me most is that he’s a corporatist hack who ran the Democratic Party into the ground when he ran it. Beyond that, he’s an outsider in a state that often resents outsiders. There are exceptions, to be sure; Mark Warner grew up in Connecticut, I believe. But he came here and started a business and worked for the state party, and took on what was seen at the time as a sure losing race against John Warner in 1996. (He came within a few points of winning, but few foresaw that he’d run that well.) Virginians see McAuliffe as a carpetbagger who leapt to the head of the line so he could be governor, without ever having done anything for teh commonwealth to earn a shot.

    I remember the Warner vs. Warner race! Mark Warner issued bumper stickers that said “Mark, Not John”, but discontinued them because people didn’t get it – too many people thought it must be some obscure Biblical reference.

    As for McAullife, I guess we’ll just have to make the best of it. I think being the Anti-Cooch will have to be enough. Virginia never sent Ollie North to the Senate, remember. See – I remember that, but I had to Google to learn who defeated him, because I’d forgotten.

  54. 54.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @JoyceH: Only because Marshall Coleman siphoned off enough votes in a third party bid. And I didn’t have to google it. :)

  55. 55.

    eemom

    @Keith G:

    No. Wishing death in a fire on anyone is just a bridge too far even for me.

    At least, most of the time.

    @JoyceH:

    Virginia never sent Ollie North to the Senate, remember.

    I remember that too, for a variety of reasons….including the fact that I was pregnant with my daughter at the time (1994)…..and even though I didn’t pay much mind to politics back then, I DID know I didn’t want to bring forth a child into a state where that asshole was the Senator.

    And now….Cooch. UGH.

    On the positive side, my baby will be old enough to cast her first vote, against HIM, next November.

  56. 56.

    JoyceH

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    @JoyceH: Only because Marshall Coleman siphoned off enough votes in a third party bid. And I didn’t have to google it. :)

    There were no significant third party candidates in 1993, when George Allen won the governor’s race, but wound up with a Democratic lieutenant governor, because the GOP’s candidate, Michael Farris, was a nutbar extremist.

  57. 57.

    eemom

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    But we also had John Warner and even not-yet-zombie Reagan, plus Nancy, speaking out against Ollie!

    omg…..I am old enough to remember republicans acting on…..principle. I think I’m going to cry.

  59. 59.

    OmerosPeanut

    “…he’s mounting his campaign for governor on the back of a 17 year-old girl…”

    Phrasing is everything.

  60. 60.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @eemom: Maybe. Or maybe they didn’t like North’s bad teeth and attempt to leapfrog the Virginia Republican establishment.

  61. 61.

    PaulW

    Just in case, I checked the Virginia Statutes to see if statutory rape laws are still in place.

    http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-61

    Well the problem is that statutory limit is 13 years of age (18.2-61 A iii), so a 17-year-old is fair game without that all-important anti-sodomy law.

    It’d make you think a 17-year-old could claim rape under the regular rules, unless she (or he) consented to the relationship with the 47-year-old pervert. But what self-respecting 17-year-old would consent with performing oral sex to a Catholic bishop, eh?

  62. 62.

    jefft452

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.): “I can’t tell you how many obama voters I canvassed who just didn’t want to bother to vote that year. It drove me nuts”

    I don’t think 2013 will be like 2009

    It used to be that people thought it was safe to sit out an off year election, or even vote R to keep the Ds from “going too far”

    The tea infestation of state houses changed that,
    Maybe its wishful thinking on my part, but too many crazy Rs in state gov are actually enacting their crack-pot ideology – and a lot of people are thinking “holy crap! They really meant what they said!”

  63. 63.

    danielx

    @Baud:

    Win.

    These guys are as fascinated by lady parts and sexual activity of any kind as fourteen year old boys; it’s no wonder they can’t focus on anything else. (I remember what I was like at fourteen.) Even if it makes them stutter when they try to say ‘vagina’, the ones who aren’t too offended by the word to use it at all.

    @jefft452:

    Yup. I kept telling people that if they thought Mitch Daniels was bad, they were going to hemorrhage if Mike Pence was elected. Not only a Tea Party fave but dumber than a barrel of hair in the bargain, and with a Republican supermajority in the lege to boot. They were elected because of the economy, but they leaped right into culture war horseshit right away, not that they haven’t had time to focus on increasing criminal penalties for this and that.

  65. 65.

    Yutsano

    @danielx:

    They were elected because of the economy, but they leaped right into culture war horseshit right away, not that they haven’t had time to focus on increasing criminal penalties for this and that.

    Come now, that’s a jerbs plan right there. Arrest more blah folk for the wacky tabacky, get moar prison guards, profit! Win-win!

  67. 67.

    Honus

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.): Cuccinelli is from New Jersey (although he did go to UVA) McDonnell is from Philly, and went to Notre Dame and BU before he went to Pat Robertson’s unaccredited law school. Tim Kaine is from Minnesota and went to Harvard. George Allen was from California. Jim Gilmore was the only one of the last five governors who was a native Virginian, and he may be the most unpopular governor of the past 30 years. And Jim Webb had no connection to Virginia before he ran for the senate. So I don’t buy this McAuliffe/carpetbagger schtick.

  69. 69.

    Honus

    @JoyceH: I remember that three-way well. Marshall Coleman, Ollie and Chuck Robb all trying to out-veteran each other, when somebody pointed out to Doug Wilder that maybe he should mention that he was wounded in Korea.
    You probably also remember the Mike Farris was 1993’s version of Cuccinelli who couldn’t get elected Lt. Gov. even though George Allen (Gov) and Jim Gilmore (AG) both won in a landslide.

  70. 70.

    LeftCoastTom

    @Chuck Butcher:

    Well, it certainly was a lot of help that the (D)s shot themselves in the head over ACA. Obvious spinelessness offends voters (esp Indies) and depresses your own turnout

    That’s kind of how I interpret the “why was the Pacific Time Zone a D-firewall in 2010” thing, Harry Reid may not have been the most effective Majority Leader when compared to Pelosi in the House (compared to Boehner Donald Duck would look awesome), but he didn’t run away from ACA.

  71. 71.

    LeftCoastTom

    @Honus: So out of curiosity…how did the VA Tourist Bureau folks get past the cognitive dissonance of advertising VA “for lovers”?

  72. 72.

    Doug_E_Crunk

    Obama voters didn’t vote for Deeds because there was no reason to vote for him.

    He ran away from Obama.

    Promised not to implement ObamaCare.

    Was reluctant to campaign in Obama voter territory.

    What was the point? To vote for someone who was against your interests, to keep somebody else who is also against your interests from becoming the governor?

  74. 74.

    JoyceH

    @Honus:

    You probably also remember the Mike Farris was 1993′s version of Cuccinelli who couldn’t get elected Lt. Gov. even though George Allen (Gov) and Jim Gilmore (AG) both won in a landslide.

    I remember it well. Farris was selected in a convention, if I recall. He was the adored favorite of what we didn’t yet know to call the Tea Party. Sometimes I’d see cars that had a Farris bumper sticker – and ONLY a Farris bumper sticker. No Allen sticker, no Gilmore sticker. Farris, and only Farris, was Their Guy.

    He was the guy who wanted to ban The Wizard of Oz, because it promoted the false propaganda that witches can be good.

    In ’93, voters weren’t voting for Don Beyer, because who knew from Beyer? They were voting AGAINST Ferris. I do think Cuccinelli can be the new Farris; he’s so eminently mockable.

  75. 75.

    minutemaid

    “American Taliban”…..lol…so you must be that one guy that bought Kos’s book. Lol…thanks for the laugh.

  77. 77.

    Citizen_X

    @minutemaid:

    “American Taliban”…..lol…so you must be that one guy that bought Kos’s book.

    Given that you mentioned it, and (rightly) expected us to recognize it, I don’t think so.

  78. 78.

    drkrick

    @Honus:

    Cuccinelli is from New Jersey (although he did go to UVA) McDonnell is from Philly, and went to Notre Dame and BU before he went to Pat Robertson’s unaccredited law school. Tim Kaine is from Minnesota and went to Harvard. George Allen was from California. Jim Gilmore was the only one of the last five governors who was a native Virginian, and he may be the most unpopular governor of the past 30 years. And Jim Webb had no connection to Virginia before he ran for the senate. So I don’t buy this McAuliffe/carpetbagger schtick.

    None of them were natives, but all had substantial business and/or political careers in Virginia before running for statewide office. Allen was from California, sure, but he played football at UVA and had lived here his entire adult life. Cuccinelli and McDonnell were multiple term state legislators and Kaine had been mayor of Richmond for some time.

    McAuliffe is still primarily known as a Clinton family political fixer – if he’s done anything noteworthy in Virginia, he ought to mention it in his campaign ads because most people aren’t sure he really even lives here let alone what he’s ever done for the place.

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