Noshing on primanti brothers late night after a night on the town in Pittsburgh after a memorial service for an old advisor.
I really wish I could say that Pittsburgh was a party town, but, you know, after you have been to Austin and Madison and San Fran and NYC, you just sort of realize it ain’t.
On the upside, the Omni Westin William Penn has no dollar dispensers on their soda machines, which means that the entire hotel was treated with me stumbling around the reception desk asking for quarters while wearing a Steelers T, boxer shorts, and socks and flip flops.
That’s just how I roll these days. It’s 2 am, I’m 42 drunk and grossly indifferent to your delicate sensibilities, your fucking soda machines don’t take ones, and I have Primanti’s to eat. Deal with it bitches.
I will note that it dos make me deeply sad that so many of you will never experience the sheer joy of a 2 am Primanti brothers sandwich. Other than Drover’s Inn wings, there is nothing better.
TheOtherWa
Have to say, I’ve never heard of a Primanti brothers sandwich, so I have no idea what I’m missing. If you’re posting about them late at night, they must be damn good.
And why the hell are there pop machines that don’t take $1 dollar bills? Did you go through a time warp to get there?
ulee
Notes from the Underground.
BMichaelKrol
Primanti’s are overrated. Give me a burger from Fathead’s any day.
rammalamadingdong
Are you eating a french fry sandwich?
Thor Heyerdahl
Now if the US would just accept dollar coins like other countries…you wouldn’t have this issue…(pedantic Canuck)
anadromy
God bless you, Mr. Cole. And your flip-flops. Flaunt them at any hour, I say.
Wag
Least you could do is to share a picture of said sandwich.
Yutsano
@Thor Heyerdahl: Fie on thee and your cursed loonies. Although I will say the demise of the Sacajawea dollar did break my heart some. It was a really beautiful coin and they were even modifying vending machines to take them. Oh wells. We iz slow learners down this way.
Linkmeister
@Wag: Here’s the home page with a picture of one such sandwich.
Here’s the menu from the Oakland store.
$6.29 for a sandwich isn’t outrageous, but it’s not inexpensive either, at least in Hawai’i. Is that about the right price where you are, Mainlanders?
max
which means that the entire hotel was treated with me stumbling around the reception desk asking for quarters while wearing a Steelers T, boxer shorts, and socks and flip flops. That’s just how I roll these days.
In future days, hushed youngsters with listen with awed reverence to the tales of mighty John Cole, stunned by the concluding crescendo: ‘That is the true story of the man who could never find his fucking pants.’
max
[“‘When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail. And the receipt is in my pants.””]
Yutsano
@Linkmeister: A hair on the high end, but about comparable to what you’d expect to pay at Jimmy John’s. With less wingnut attached.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
“Are you wearing a shopping bag?”
“I have misplaced my pants.”
Random J. Nerd
Does hitting up Primanti’s for a work day lunch while visiting the Pittsburgh office come close to same at 2am? (lunch taken with co-workers carefully NOT cluing you in on the nature of the beast that is going to be in front of you shortly)
Kris Collins
I will never give in on this. If you are wearing them with socks and there is no divider between your toes THEY ARE NOT FLIP FLOPS THEY ARE SLIDES LOOK IT UP DAMMIT!!!! Thank you.
TheMightyTrowel
@Yutsano: God that’s cheap. AUSTRALIA IS SO EXPENSIVE.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
MikeJ
@Yutsano: Subway makes a point of advertising $5 footlongs, the implication being that $5 is cheap for a sammich. That being the case, $6.50 doesn’t sound outrageous.
TheOtherWa
BTW, 42 is about 3 decades too young to wear socks with sandals. Just sayin’.
Todd
Had the Primanti sammich, found it way too sweet. The slaw should be totally sour via a lemon-olive oil base. Do that, and you’ve got something great.
Elizabelle
@Linkmeister:
Now I’m hungry.
Menu offers delicious “Vegetable” soup.
Why the apostrophes? What are they really making it with?
TheMightyTrowel
@Elizabelle: Meat.
Steeplejack (tablet)
Just going to bed after watching the whole season of Justified. The housecat, the DVR and I are all frazzled. We may have overdone it a bit.
scav
I don’t know, working late nights at a downtown large hotel, prone to conferences, wouldn’t a floofy barely panted guy stumbling about for quarters to feed the drink machines while raving about a sandwich be rather a welcome element of the floor show? Probably is just me, imagining long tedious hours of nothing punctuated by much much worse. Or, maybe I’m thinking of the Westin down the street labelled Conference Center, whereas John is at the famously decorous one?
Elizabelle
Princess Sparkle Pony weighs in on that creepy intern from the Paul Ryan and Gingrich campaigns who cyberstalked young women and occasionally dressed up as “Ellis the Elephant”:
raven
Geeze, I just changed my reservations in Providence and book the Downtown Omni on Hotwire. Now I have to worry about the coke machines!
Debbie(aussie)
@TheMightyTrowel:
Just had that discussion. We are NOT expensive, we just pay decent living wages to workers!
Oh and they are thongs, not flip flops :)
Amir Khalid
Goodness gracious me. The correct spelling is doth.
Plus, when you Americans can get nasi lemak with cuttlefish sambal and ginger tea for your 2am snack, then you can talk.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Amir Khalid: Hmmm, reminds me I’ve been meaning to make curry ayam for a month or so. Maybe this weekend.
Baud
I’m disappointed you were clothed al all, Cole.
raven
The Broun for Senate campaign today released the following statement after receiving a strong endorsement and maximum contribution from former Presidential candidate and Congressman Ron Paul and his Liberty PAC.
Broun said, “I am honored by my good friend’s endorsement, and I thank him for his continued support and encouragement. When I first came to Congress in 2007, Dr. Paul and I were the two most consistent and outspoken constitutional conservatives serving in Washington. As Dr. Paul knows, it’s often a lonely fight when you’re one of the few Members in Congress with the courage and principles to say no to the out-of-control spending being done by both political parties.
“When Dr. Paul retired, I picked up the mantle right where he left off by reintroducing his Audit the Fed bill. I also have continued to hold the line on restoring our Constitution, to cut government spending, and to fully repeal Obamacare.
“I’m ready to take that kind of leadership along with my beliefs about limited government to the United States Senate. With support from Dr. Paul and the grassroots community, this is a race that I know we can win.”
In his endorsement of Paul Broun, Ron Paul noted Congressman Broun worked hard to get spending under control and said, “Paul Broun and I worked together in the House to bring some necessary oversight to the Federal Reserve. I endorse Paul Broun on his candidacy to the U.S. Senate.”
TheMightyTrowel
@Debbie(aussie): a decent living wage… that explains why my lenovo laptop cost $1200 more in australia than in the US. Clearly we were paying the living wage of the chinese factory workers who made it. Sigh.
I’ll give you good aussie wages for the service industry/foods but there’s definitely an australia tax on imports that have nothing at all to do with superb labour unions.
John S.
Don’t cry for me, John Cole. There’s been a Primanti Bros. (same owners) here in South Florida since I was a kid. Going there for pizza at 3am after a night of debauchery is pretty much a mainstay around here.
I will note that it does make me deeply sad that you are stuck enjoying their food in Pittsburgh, while I get to enjoy their excellent food on a beach in Ft. Lauderdale.
Debbie(aussie)
@TheMightyTrowel:
Sorry, I was thinking of service workers & not manufacturing, as such.
Schlemizel
where the hell did yo put the room key? You were just wondering around with no clothes on carrying cash and key & who knows what else in your hands? Put some pants on boy!
Schlemizel
@Amir Khalid:
I only know one place in town to get nasi lemak and its just OK. I really want (and I have asked them for) nasi gorang but there is no place here on the frozen tundra that does that.
I have to use the recipe my mom taught me 50 years ago. Fortunately shrimp paste & sambal are no easily obtainable around here now. I admit though that I am not wild about the shrimp paste & don’t use it for any other thing I make so, unless I am making for a crowd some goes to waste with every batch of gorang
Rosalita
I think the Adidas sandals are West Virginia Birkenstocks.
Would it have killed ya to post a food pic? Oh right, drunk.
gene108
@Thor Heyerdahl:
American currency is confusing and for some reason we refuse to change.
After a trip to Europe – Austria and Hungary – with coinage stamped with numbers “50 cents (Euro)” and “200 (Forints)”, for example, and then looking at American coinage I pity the tourist to this country.
Our second most valuable coin is denoted as “one dime” and is the smallest coin we have.
Also, too all our bills are the same size, so the blind really get screwed when dealing with cash, whereas other countries have larger bills for larger denominations.
Mardam
@TheOtherWa: Nothing like a Primanti Bros. cheesesteak or hot sausage sandwich!! Piled with french fries (fresh cut) and cole slaw all on the sandwich.
And it’s Pittsburgh! A little slow on the technology transfer stuff, even with CMU nearby.
Great town! My home too, Cole.
BruceFromOhio
@Steeplejack: If it concluded with the episode “Ghost,” you have just traveled the length of one of the best shows in the history of television.
Was in Pittsburgh for a show Wednesday, still the same old town. It’ll be nice when the fountain is on again.
kentropic
@TheOtherWa:
Pittsburgh is the best place to be at the end of the world, because everything happens 10 years later there.
kentropic
@kentropic:
…And by “there,” I mean “here” — nobody runs the place down half as well as the natives. Drover’s is another classic throwback, just over the state line in West By God etc. A dozen Atomics with Yuengling draft chaser(s) in the basement bar are a summer ritual — but if you’re over 6’3″, watch your head.
Xboxershorts
Frankies on Forward Ave in Squirrel Hill has some of the finest BBQ ribs I’ve ever eaten….
Also, too…Frankies brings in awesome live music too!
http://youtu.be/uJ4GHyt7N9c
Poopyman
Well, it’s 8 AM. How is that Primanti sandwich sitting in that 40+ year old gut now, Mr. Cole?
raven
@kentropic: They got themselves another great Bulldog in the draft last night!
NotMax
@gene108
There’s an app for that (.pdf file from U.S. Mint)
Also too, raised numerals on bills are mandated for the next redesign rollout. Should have been done earlier, yes.
Omnes Omnibus
Meh, I had a 2-3am Primanti sandwich following a Prince concert in Pittsburgh. The concert was far, far better than the sandwich.
gene108
@NotMax:
Looks like the U.S. Treasury lost its appeal, after being sued by blind folks for making currency hard to handle for them.
http://acb.org/node/224
Hadn’t realized the ACB lawsuit against the government started around 10 years ago. Takes a long time to for government to get its act together.
NotMax
@gene108
Thus the use of “mandated” above.
(troll bait follows)
Case was contested and dragged out under Bush.
Obama administration has been at work on it.
The wheels of bureaucracy move too often frustrating slowly, but they do move.
NotMax
Oh, one more thing to add to #47:
Just this week (April 24) it was announced that the redesigned $100 bill will be put into circulation in October of this year; other denominations to follow, which include as much color differentiation per denomination as allowed by law (the $1 bill is exempt from many of the changes made to other denominations, also by law.)
flukebucket
Cole I just saw that the Steelers got Jarvis Jones. You ought to be dancing naked wherever you are.
YellowJournalism
Cole must have initially scared the clerk at the front desk, as there’s a certain creepiness factor to a drunken middle-aged man in that getup wandering down the hall while waving money at you. “Hey, there! I gotta dollar here!”
Honus
All of you supposed Pittsburgh aficionados have failed to note that the oldest and most storied sports franchise in the city has, in the past two weeks, swept the Reds, taken 3 out of 4 from the Braves and Phillies and split with the Cardinals, who they will play tonight for the division lead.
JR in WV
IN your BOXER shorts???
That’s just…. odd.
Why didn’t you just call the front desk and have a 6-pack of Pilsner delivered?
NotMax
Graphic artists, get busy. The world needs boxers with a Balloon-Juice design.
jake the snake
@max:
Ah ha, a rare “Big Trouble in Little China” reference.
Other than a couple of instances, John Carpenter’s timing was a atrocious. BTILC was a genre mashup ahead of its time.
Maude
@NotMax:
#48
If the size of the bills were changed, cash registers and wallets would have to change and that would be a mess.
I like our currency.
ETA also ATM cash slots
jake the snake
Never heard of Primanti Bros.
Can’t beat the tenderloin biscuits from the Rich Pond Market. However, you can’t get one at 2 AM
NotMax
@Maude
All true, but not insurmountable (size of bills was reduced last century, for example). I was primarily addressing the use of color to differentiate denominations.
Then again, change machines tend to reject every dang bill I feed them already.
Gin & Tonic
@raven: At 2:00 am in PVD, you don’t look for a soda machine in the hotel, you go outside and eat at Haven Bros. Trust me on this.
Poopyman
@Honus: Everybody knows the new, improved Pirates play like real contenders until the day after the all-star break. Then it’s back to “normal”.
Craig
@Honus: Yeah, but we’ve heard this story before. Talk to me after the All Star break and we’ll see where Bucs are then.
muddy
I have arrived here too late I guess, but I just wanted to note that John’s on the road costume is similar to the home costume, only sans robe. In own home = robe, semi-public = no robe needed!
Redshirt
Seriously Brah – you went down to the lobby in boxer shorts only?
Why not at least throw on the sweet hotel robe?
Are you some kind of pervert or sumpin?
JGabriel
John Cole @ Top:
It’s hard to be a real party town unless your bars are open till 4 am (at least) and your subways run all night.
Redshirt
@JGabriel: Boston Fail.
The city that sleeps from 1 am to 8!
phil
Their soda machines don’t take plastic?!
TMinSJ
I will pre-appologize for this, but I can’t help myself:
No one from the SF Bay Area would call San Francisco “San Fran”. Acceptable choices are “the city” (relative and only works when you’re local, I know), “SF” and “San Francisco”. “San Fran” is fine if you want to self-identify as a tourist…if somehow that’s not already clear to everyone.