The Government have rested their case in the sentencing phase of US v. Manning. The Defense have started their case today. Their first witness was Manning’s brigade commander in Iraq, whom David Coombs questioned about Manning’s emotional instability and mental health.
The Jury in the James “Whitey” Bulger case has returned with a verdict.
I don’t know yet what that verdict is. UPDATE: Guilty of racketeering. And murder.
Federal Judge in New York has determined that African American people are protected by the Constitution, too.
Tim Pawlenty has finally found someone he can beat. I guess virtual manhood is better than no manhood at all. H/T to tbogg, of course.
A Judge in Tennessee has changed a baby’s name from “Messiah” to something else, citing the Bible as her authority to do so.
The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik
While that child is a lot less likely to catch shit now because of an unfortunate given name….yeah, that is not the precedent I want to be set. What, are they going to ban the name ‘Jesus’ (hey-zus) too?
I hereby grant everyone permission for this one day to yell, “Take that, Whitey!”
I’m pretty sure Chris Rock has done a routine about that somewhere.
Highly recommend watching the video of the judge being asked about the popularity of the name Jesus. You can actually see her brain frantically stopping her mouth from audibly saying, “durrrrr….”
@Xantar: Well, you know, the Whitey tape is finally showing all over TV! (rimshot)
Try the veal, and don’t forget to tip your waitstaff. I’ll be here all week!
I am so pleased to see that I get to be protected by the Constitution too. And it only took til 2013! YAY! I hope Manning has good defense. Maybe if he gets some mental treatment, he can get less than 10. I just don’t think he’s deserving of more.
The Red Pen
Ironically, Jesus’ given name Y’shua (Joshua) basically means “savior” in Hebrew, so the judge has a lot more work renaming babies ahead of her. Also, “Messiah” is not a title you earn, it’s a title you claim and lots of people (besides Jesus) have done so. There can be only one successful Messiah, McCloud. There have been tons of failed ones (i.e. dead ones). One of the reasons why Jesus’ resurrection is so important is because it establishes that Jesus did not fail because He didn’t really die.
That all requires knowing Jew stuff which probably makes it illegal in Tennessee.
Also too, “Messiah” is actually the 4th fastest growing baby name right now according to the SSA.
Just saw that Whitey Bulger has a Stanley Cup ring. Now THAT’s a crime. They should make him pay.
In the cable doc “Freakonomics,” parents named one child ‘Winner’ and the other child ‘Loser.’ The outcome was pretty much the opposite of the names. Seems a pretty extreme social experiment, no? That being said, I thought parents had a right to give their kids screwy names. I mean, where would you set the cut-off point?
And not, apparently, knowing that “Messiah” means “anointed one”, and referred to any king of Israel or Judah. Yet another know-nothing Christianist asshole. I predict either crickets or applause from the right wing, who ought to see this as the worst kind of judicial activism and state meddling in parental decision making.
For the record, I had an Uncle Whitey (real name “Elsmore”) who had shock-white hair.
@The Red Pen: Yup. Its a rapidly growing name. Lots of weird names out there–Neveah is very popular for girls, or was a few years ago, its “heaven” spelled backwards. Naming is a weird practice. I highly recommend a book called “The Mountain of Names” about the history of names and naming, especially in the US. Some ethnic and class groups–regional as well– seem to enjoy naming their children things that are seem to them to be numerological, kabbalisic, mysterious and/or coded.
i blame Obama
The judge seems to have renamed the child in honor of Trayvon Martin. I can see why that would be controversial in TN.
I suppose “Judge” is accurate, but more of a counselor of some nature.
Even in Tennessee, this decision will get reversed. Welcome to the world, Messiah.
In Germany there are names allowed by the government. If you want to name your kid something not on the list, you have to get special permission.
This baby naming precedent is bizarre. I’m sure the ACLU will probably take up this case.
On the other hand, there are SOME rules, aren’t there? I can’t name my kids “Fuckface” or “Cockgobbler” for example, can I?
The ring, and pretty much anything else Whitey owns that the Feds can find, is subject to forfeiture. It’s likely to end up on a plaque in the Boston U.S. Attorney’s office.
Speaking of forfeiture, if you haven’t read the article in the current issue of the New Yorker about forfeiture shenaningans, you should. I like to think that unfortunately, I’m not surprised by much of anything I read about police misconduct, and it blew my mind.
Why? Seriously, why would do that to a kid?
At an old cafe on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealin’ stud,
Sat the dirty mangy dog that named me Cockgobbler.
I’m guessing that, even if she had heard the name used, she didn’t realize that the name she heard pronounced as “Hay-Zeus” is spelled “Jesus.”
I don’t know if there are. You probably have to give them a name that can be entered into whatever system they use to register names, but I don’t think they’re allowed to reject names because they’re offensive or novel.
@burnspbesq: I hope it’s not a Broons’ SC ring.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
@Violet: France used to be the poster child for that, but they overturned their naming law in the 1990s.
@Arclite: Yes, you can. Can’t find the cite right now, but there was a woman not long ago who gave her little girl ‘lilsexy’ as a middle name.
The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik
It’s not like it’s the worst name you could give a kid, but yeah….
Still, that’s a matter of taste, and shouldn’t have been a matter of law, much less a matter of law interpreted by religion.
Paraphrasing from his presser today:
“Madam Judge, go fuck yourself” — Michael “Petulance” Bloomberg
@Arclite: “On the other hand, there are SOME rules, aren’t there? I can’t name my kids “Fuckface” or “Cockgobbler” for example, can I?”
You should try that and get back to us. After all, this is the country where people were allowed to name their son Adolph Hitler and their daughter Aryan Nations.
If the mother had named just him Brian, this whole kerfluffle could have been averted.
Can I get a “Fuck you, Pete Williams” from the congregation, for the last sentence of the linked article about the District Court ruling in the stop and frisk case?
“The White House had no immediate comment on the ruling.” Why should the White House have a comment? The case isn’t final, and the city is almost certain to appeal.
And if the White House had commented, you would have ripped Obama a new one for “interfering in ongoing litigation,” or some such.
God DAMN it, our media suck.
If Martin nee Messiah has indeed returned, that judge just made the biggest mistake of her afterlife.
I’m thinking of renaming myself to Lucifer Rand Christ.
Yes. And a boy not being constantly teased about his name would be more inclined to look on the bright side of life.
The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik
Personally, I’m going to go with Satan McBuddha.
FWIW, the character in “A Boy Named Sue” is reputedly named for a real person, Sue K. Hicks, who served as prosecutor in the Scopes Monkey Trial.
I wonder if the judge would change the name of every person named Christian or Christopher or Chris, since Christ is after all just the Greek word for Anointed One, the same as Messiah, which is Hebrew.
The Red Pen
@nastybrutishntall: “He’s the Messiah.” “No he’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy…”
He’s not the messiah! He’s a very naughty boy! Now piss off!
ETA: Damn you danimal!
Bloomberg is far from the first person to say that about Judge Scheindlin. She’s almost a caricature of the petty-tyrant trial judge, and she’s definitely the kind of “activist judge” that drives the RedState crowd nuts. From Jeffrey Toobin’s May 2013 New Yorker article about the case:
She’s probably right in this case, but one hopes that she took ample precautions to appeal-proof her ruling.
Link to opinion.
IIRC, the only restriction I’ve ever heard is that the name must be made up of letters and not numerals. (Meaning, you can name your kid Thirteen but not 13.) Other than that, you can name your kid (or yourself) whatever you damn well please.
ETA: This is for the US — other countries have stricter laws.
I’m fairly certain that in the USA you can name your kid anything you want to.
However if I sat on the jury trying the case of State vs. Fuckface Jones for patricide, I’m pretty sure I’d have to vote to acquit no matter what the rest of the story around the trial entailed.
The Red Pen
My wife had a friend whose hippy parents let him name himself when he turned five.
That’s how she ended up with a friend named “Bean Dip.” No shit.
How about punctuation characters? I know that apostrophes and hyphens are allowed because they exist in some names. How about Robert’); DROP TABLE Students;–?
Perhaps if the parents were white. But they’re not. So instead it’s parental activism and the blahs meddling in religious affairs.
But simply repeating your name, say, in front of a cop would get you fined for profanity, no? Are you allowed to drop F-bombs in kindergarten if it’s in your name?
@The Red Pen:
You think Frank Zappa’s kids had problems because of their first name?
@The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik: Oh, I agree about the judge being full of crap.
And the worst, non-Neo Nazi name I’ve ever heard was Chlamydia.
@The Red Pen: To be fair, that happened in the 60’s. There was probably a plethora of drugs involved.
Any relation to Judge Judy or her husband, another Judge Scheindlin?”
ISTR that your first name can officially be whatever you choose to call yourself (or, presumably, your parents call you). It could cause problems in school and with official documents if that name is different than, say, your birth certificate, which is why people would want to legally change it. But you don’t HAVE to.
I have a friend who is named Dewey after his father, but they didn’t want a Junior, and made his middle name different: Dean. He was known as Dean, until he got to school. His teachers (and classmates) know him as Dewey; his old friends, Dean.
@aimai: Years ago, singer John Davidson wanted to name his son Harley. Luckily for the boy the mother said no.
@nastybrutishntall: Nope because it grew out of a case over the kid’s surname. I didn’t hear if there was a comment about the marital status of the parents, but each parent wanted a different surname. In deciding that issue the judge brought in the first name as a problem.
@danimal: Ha! The BBC World Report used that clip this afternoon when they reported the story!
@aimai: Ever since I heard about this, I’ve been hoping to find out that there’s a boy named Lleh.
@The Red Pen: When my cousin’s wife was expecting her second child, she asked her then-three-year-old daughter what they should name the new baby. Without missing a beat, Susan said “Hasbro.”
Some kids have too many toys….
Tennessee continues to embarrass those of us who chose to live here. I’m going to rename my two sons according to their personalities, and I’d like to see some hick magistrate stop me. Meet “Trigonometry” and “Gangster of Love.”