• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

This blog will pay for itself.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Ah, the different things are different argument.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Mid Day Open Thread

Mid Day Open Thread

by Soonergrunt|  August 12, 20132:10 pm| 57 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

The Government have rested their case in the sentencing phase of US v. Manning.  The Defense have started their case today.  Their first witness was Manning’s brigade commander in Iraq, whom David Coombs questioned about Manning’s emotional instability and mental health.

The Jury in the James “Whitey” Bulger case has returned with a verdict.  I don’t know yet what that verdict is.  UPDATE: Guilty of racketeering.  And murder.

Federal Judge in New York has determined that African American people are protected by the Constitution, too.

Tim Pawlenty has finally found someone he can beat.  I guess virtual manhood is better than no manhood at all.  H/T to tbogg, of course.

A Judge in Tennessee has changed a baby’s name from “Messiah” to something else, citing the Bible as her authority to do so.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « I want ’em to know what it’s like
Next Post: Southern man don’t need him ’round anyhow »

Reader Interactions

57Comments

  1. 1.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    August 12, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    A Judge in Tennessee has changed a baby’s name from “Messiah” to something else, citing the Bible as her authority to do so.

    While that child is a lot less likely to catch shit now because of an unfortunate given name….yeah, that is not the precedent I want to be set. What, are they going to ban the name ‘Jesus’ (hey-zus) too?

  2. 2.

    Xantar

    August 12, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    I hereby grant everyone permission for this one day to yell, “Take that, Whitey!”

    I’m pretty sure Chris Rock has done a routine about that somewhere.

  3. 3.

    Nicole

    August 12, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    Highly recommend watching the video of the judge being asked about the popularity of the name Jesus. You can actually see her brain frantically stopping her mouth from audibly saying, “durrrrr….”

  4. 4.

    Soonergrunt

    August 12, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    @Xantar: Well, you know, the Whitey tape is finally showing all over TV! (rimshot)
    Try the veal, and don’t forget to tip your waitstaff. I’ll be here all week!

  5. 5.

    ruemara

    August 12, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    I am so pleased to see that I get to be protected by the Constitution too. And it only took til 2013! YAY! I hope Manning has good defense. Maybe if he gets some mental treatment, he can get less than 10. I just don’t think he’s deserving of more.

  6. 6.

    The Red Pen

    August 12, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    Ironically, Jesus’ given name Y’shua (Joshua) basically means “savior” in Hebrew, so the judge has a lot more work renaming babies ahead of her. Also, “Messiah” is not a title you earn, it’s a title you claim and lots of people (besides Jesus) have done so. There can be only one successful Messiah, McCloud. There have been tons of failed ones (i.e. dead ones). One of the reasons why Jesus’ resurrection is so important is because it establishes that Jesus did not fail because He didn’t really die.

    That all requires knowing Jew stuff which probably makes it illegal in Tennessee.

    Also too, “Messiah” is actually the 4th fastest growing baby name right now according to the SSA.

  7. 7.

    smintheus

    August 12, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    Just saw that Whitey Bulger has a Stanley Cup ring. Now THAT’s a crime. They should make him pay.

  8. 8.

    LanceThruster

    August 12, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    In the cable doc “Freakonomics,” parents named one child ‘Winner’ and the other child ‘Loser.’ The outcome was pretty much the opposite of the names. Seems a pretty extreme social experiment, no? That being said, I thought parents had a right to give their kids screwy names. I mean, where would you set the cut-off point?

  9. 9.

    Roger Moore

    August 12, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    A Judge in Tennessee has changed a baby’s name from “Messiah” to something else, citing the Bible as her authority to do so.

    And not, apparently, knowing that “Messiah” means “anointed one”, and referred to any king of Israel or Judah. Yet another know-nothing Christianist asshole. I predict either crickets or applause from the right wing, who ought to see this as the worst kind of judicial activism and state meddling in parental decision making.

  10. 10.

    LanceThruster

    August 12, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    For the record, I had an Uncle Whitey (real name “Elsmore”) who had shock-white hair.

  11. 11.

    aimai

    August 12, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    @The Red Pen: Yup. Its a rapidly growing name. Lots of weird names out there–Neveah is very popular for girls, or was a few years ago, its “heaven” spelled backwards. Naming is a weird practice. I highly recommend a book called “The Mountain of Names” about the history of names and naming, especially in the US. Some ethnic and class groups–regional as well– seem to enjoy naming their children things that are seem to them to be numerological, kabbalisic, mysterious and/or coded.

  12. 12.

    Johnnybuck

    August 12, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    i blame Obama

  13. 13.

    smintheus

    August 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    The judge seems to have renamed the child in honor of Trayvon Martin. I can see why that would be controversial in TN.

  14. 14.

    The Dangerman

    August 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    A Judge in Tennessee has changed a baby’s name from “Messiah” to something else…

    I suppose “Judge” is accurate, but more of a counselor of some nature.

    Even in Tennessee, this decision will get reversed. Welcome to the world, Messiah.

  15. 15.

    Roger Moore

    August 12, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    @Nicole:

    You can actually see her brain frantically stopping her mouth from audibly saying, “durrrrr….”

    ITYM “derp“.

  16. 16.

    Violet

    August 12, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    In Germany there are names allowed by the government. If you want to name your kid something not on the list, you have to get special permission.

  17. 17.

    Arclite

    August 12, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    This baby naming precedent is bizarre. I’m sure the ACLU will probably take up this case.

    On the other hand, there are SOME rules, aren’t there? I can’t name my kids “Fuckface” or “Cockgobbler” for example, can I?

  18. 18.

    burnspbesq

    August 12, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    @smintheus:

    Just saw that Whitey Bulger has a Stanley Cup ring. Now THAT’s a crime. They should make him pay.

    The ring, and pretty much anything else Whitey owns that the Feds can find, is subject to forfeiture. It’s likely to end up on a plaque in the Boston U.S. Attorney’s office.

  19. 19.

    burnspbesq

    August 12, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    Speaking of forfeiture, if you haven’t read the article in the current issue of the New Yorker about forfeiture shenaningans, you should. I like to think that unfortunately, I’m not surprised by much of anything I read about police misconduct, and it blew my mind.

  20. 20.

    Comrade Dread

    August 12, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Also too, “Messiah” is actually the 4th fastest growing baby name right now according to the SSA.

    Why? Seriously, why would do that to a kid?

  21. 21.

    burnspbesq

    August 12, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    @Arclite:

    At an old cafe on a street of mud,
    There at a table, dealin’ stud,
    Sat the dirty mangy dog that named me Cockgobbler.

  22. 22.

    Mnemosyne

    August 12, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    @Nicole:

    I’m guessing that, even if she had heard the name used, she didn’t realize that the name she heard pronounced as “Hay-Zeus” is spelled “Jesus.”

  23. 23.

    Roger Moore

    August 12, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    @Arclite:

    On the other hand, there are SOME rules, aren’t there? I can’t name my kids “Fuckface” or “Cockgobbler” for example, can I?

    I don’t know if there are. You probably have to give them a name that can be entered into whatever system they use to register names, but I don’t think they’re allowed to reject names because they’re offensive or novel.

  24. 24.

    smintheus

    August 12, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    @burnspbesq: I hope it’s not a Broons’ SC ring.

  25. 25.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    August 12, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    @Violet: France used to be the poster child for that, but they overturned their naming law in the 1990s.

    @Arclite: Yes, you can. Can’t find the cite right now, but there was a woman not long ago who gave her little girl ‘lilsexy’ as a middle name.

  26. 26.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    August 12, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    @Comrade Dread:

    It’s not like it’s the worst name you could give a kid, but yeah….

    Still, that’s a matter of taste, and shouldn’t have been a matter of law, much less a matter of law interpreted by religion.

  27. 27.

    me

    August 12, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Paraphrasing from his presser today:
    “Madam Judge, go fuck yourself” — Michael “Petulance” Bloomberg

  28. 28.

    Soonergrunt

    August 12, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    @Arclite: “On the other hand, there are SOME rules, aren’t there? I can’t name my kids “Fuckface” or “Cockgobbler” for example, can I?”
    You should try that and get back to us. After all, this is the country where people were allowed to name their son Adolph Hitler and their daughter Aryan Nations.

  29. 29.

    nastybrutishntall

    August 12, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    If the mother had named just him Brian, this whole kerfluffle could have been averted.

  30. 30.

    burnspbesq

    August 12, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Can I get a “Fuck you, Pete Williams” from the congregation, for the last sentence of the linked article about the District Court ruling in the stop and frisk case?

    “The White House had no immediate comment on the ruling.” Why should the White House have a comment? The case isn’t final, and the city is almost certain to appeal.

    And if the White House had commented, you would have ripped Obama a new one for “interfering in ongoing litigation,” or some such.

    God DAMN it, our media suck.

  31. 31.

    Long Tooth

    August 12, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    If Martin nee Messiah has indeed returned, that judge just made the biggest mistake of her afterlife.

  32. 32.

    srv

    August 12, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    I’m thinking of renaming myself to Lucifer Rand Christ.

  33. 33.

    Amir Khalid

    August 12, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    @nastybrutishntall:
    Yes. And a boy not being constantly teased about his name would be more inclined to look on the bright side of life.

  34. 34.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    August 12, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    @srv:

    Personally, I’m going to go with Satan McBuddha.

  35. 35.

    Roger Moore

    August 12, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    Sat the dirty mangy dog that named me Cockgobbler.

    FWIW, the character in “A Boy Named Sue” is reputedly named for a real person, Sue K. Hicks, who served as prosecutor in the Scopes Monkey Trial.

  36. 36.

    Irrationalnumb3r

    August 12, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    I wonder if the judge would change the name of every person named Christian or Christopher or Chris, since Christ is after all just the Greek word for Anointed One, the same as Messiah, which is Hebrew.

  37. 37.

    The Red Pen

    August 12, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    @Comrade Dread:

    Also too, “Messiah” is actually the 4th fastest growing baby name right now according to the SSA.

    Why? Seriously, why would do that to a kid?

    Frank Zappa?

  38. 38.

    danimal

    August 12, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    @nastybrutishntall: “He’s the Messiah.” “No he’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy…”

  39. 39.

    Roger Moore

    August 12, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    @nastybrutishntall:

    If the mother had named just him Brian, this whole kerfluffle could have been averted.

    He’s not the messiah! He’s a very naughty boy! Now piss off!

    ETA: Damn you danimal!

  40. 40.

    burnspbesq

    August 12, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    @me:

    Bloomberg is far from the first person to say that about Judge Scheindlin. She’s almost a caricature of the petty-tyrant trial judge, and she’s definitely the kind of “activist judge” that drives the RedState crowd nuts. From Jeffrey Toobin’s May 2013 New Yorker article about the case:

    I don’t love trials,” Judge Shira Scheindlin said recently. “They are not a good way to tell a story. They are not efficient. And they are often so tedious—you saw that today.” Scheindlin was sitting at a conference table in her chambers in the Daniel Patrick Moynihan building, off Foley Square, in lower Manhattan, after a long day of presiding in Floyd v. City of New York, which is the latest legal challenge to the stop-and-frisk practices of the New York Police Department. “What I really like to do is write opinions,” the Judge said. “There you get to do what you think is right, what you believe in. You’re pushing the margins of the envelope, being willing to be creative.”

    She’s probably right in this case, but one hopes that she took ample precautions to appeal-proof her ruling.

  41. 41.

    burnspbesq

    August 12, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    Link to opinion.

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/159759728/Stop-and-Frisk-Opinion-Floyd-v-New-York-City

  42. 42.

    Mnemosyne

    August 12, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    IIRC, the only restriction I’ve ever heard is that the name must be made up of letters and not numerals. (Meaning, you can name your kid Thirteen but not 13.) Other than that, you can name your kid (or yourself) whatever you damn well please.

    ETA: This is for the US — other countries have stricter laws.

  43. 43.

    NonyNony

    August 12, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    @Arclite:

    On the other hand, there are SOME rules, aren’t there? I can’t name my kids “Fuckface” or “Cockgobbler” for example, can I?

    I’m fairly certain that in the USA you can name your kid anything you want to.

    However if I sat on the jury trying the case of State vs. Fuckface Jones for patricide, I’m pretty sure I’d have to vote to acquit no matter what the rest of the story around the trial entailed.

  44. 44.

    The Red Pen

    August 12, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    @NonyNony:

    I’m fairly certain that in the USA you can name your kid anything you want to.

    My wife had a friend whose hippy parents let him name himself when he turned five.

    That’s how she ended up with a friend named “Bean Dip.” No shit.

  45. 45.

    Roger Moore

    August 12, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    IIRC, the only restriction I’ve ever heard is that the name must be made up of letters and not numerals.

    How about punctuation characters? I know that apostrophes and hyphens are allowed because they exist in some names. How about Robert’); DROP TABLE Students;–?

  46. 46.

    Punchy

    August 12, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    who ought to see this as the worst kind of judicial activism and state meddling in parental decision making.

    Perhaps if the parents were white. But they’re not. So instead it’s parental activism and the blahs meddling in religious affairs.

  47. 47.

    Punchy

    August 12, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    On the other hand, there are SOME rules, aren’t there? I can’t name my kids “Fuckface” or “Cockgobbler” for example, can I?

    But simply repeating your name, say, in front of a cop would get you fined for profanity, no? Are you allowed to drop F-bombs in kindergarten if it’s in your name?

  48. 48.

    rreay

    August 12, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    @The Red Pen:
    You think Frank Zappa’s kids had problems because of their first name?

  49. 49.

    Comrade Dread

    August 12, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik: Oh, I agree about the judge being full of crap.

    And the worst, non-Neo Nazi name I’ve ever heard was Chlamydia.

    @The Red Pen: To be fair, that happened in the 60’s. There was probably a plethora of drugs involved.

  50. 50.

    karen

    August 12, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    Any relation to Judge Judy or her husband, another Judge Scheindlin?”

  51. 51.

    steverino

    August 12, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    ISTR that your first name can officially be whatever you choose to call yourself (or, presumably, your parents call you). It could cause problems in school and with official documents if that name is different than, say, your birth certificate, which is why people would want to legally change it. But you don’t HAVE to.

    I have a friend who is named Dewey after his father, but they didn’t want a Junior, and made his middle name different: Dean. He was known as Dean, until he got to school. His teachers (and classmates) know him as Dewey; his old friends, Dean.

  52. 52.

    PurpleGirl

    August 12, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    @aimai: Years ago, singer John Davidson wanted to name his son Harley. Luckily for the boy the mother said no.

  53. 53.

    PurpleGirl

    August 12, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    @nastybrutishntall: Nope because it grew out of a case over the kid’s surname. I didn’t hear if there was a comment about the marital status of the parents, but each parent wanted a different surname. In deciding that issue the judge brought in the first name as a problem.

  54. 54.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 12, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    @danimal: Ha! The BBC World Report used that clip this afternoon when they reported the story!

  55. 55.

    Scamp Dog

    August 12, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    @aimai: Ever since I heard about this, I’ve been hoping to find out that there’s a boy named Lleh.

  56. 56.

    SiubhanDuinne

    August 12, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    @The Red Pen: When my cousin’s wife was expecting her second child, she asked her then-three-year-old daughter what they should name the new baby. Without missing a beat, Susan said “Hasbro.”

    Some kids have too many toys….

  57. 57.

    Mandarama

    August 13, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    Tennessee continues to embarrass those of us who chose to live here. I’m going to rename my two sons according to their personalities, and I’d like to see some hick magistrate stop me. Meet “Trigonometry” and “Gangster of Love.”

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • Chris T. on Late Night Open Thread: Unspooling Unschooling (Jun 4, 2023 @ 2:59am)
  • eclare on Late Night Open Thread: Unspooling Unschooling (Jun 4, 2023 @ 2:50am)
  • Chris T. on Late Night Open Thread: Unspooling Unschooling (Jun 4, 2023 @ 2:50am)
  • eclare on Late Night Open Thread: Unspooling Unschooling (Jun 4, 2023 @ 2:43am)
  • Gretchen on Late Night Open Thread: Unspooling Unschooling (Jun 4, 2023 @ 2:20am)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup on Sat 5/13 at 5pm!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!