Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

“Facilitate” is an active verb, not a weasel word.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

Come on, man.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

All hail the time of the bunny!

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

You are here: Home / If you’re talking about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out (in)

If you’re talking about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out (in)

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Mark Halperin’s one-time influence in Washington (people really read The Note, as disturbing as that is) is a dark stain on our nation’s history. The Flying Spaghetti Monster would be well within his rights to obliterate our entire civilization as punishment, or perhaps as part of a teachable moment.

This is even dumber than usual:

W and James Baker could negotiate whatever they wanted, the Cruzers wouldn’t accept it. W and James Baker are RINOs. QED.

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  2. 2.

    Baud

    If only Obama had offered the GOP some type of Grand Bargain and not taken any discussion of tax increases off the table, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

  4. 4.

    Chris

    I just noticed the Newsmax Headline: “Romney: Fix Political Dysfunction in DC.”

    Who’s this “Romney” character again? I forget.

  5. 5.

    WereBear

    I know I’m not the only person aghast at the stupidity on display here.

    The Republicans are holding a gun to the head of every person on earth. To get their way… which has already been democratically rejected… and the result of which would be also disastrous.

    Ya know, at some point we must discard stupidity, because this really is getting into malice territory.

  6. 6.

    PsiFighter37

    Nice to note that none of those Republicans are in government right now, either.

    Seriously, someone should kindly tell Mark Fucking Halperin (how the fuck did he even get a job, he is by far the worst ‘reporter’, if you can call him that, that covers Washington politics) that the issue is that THERE ARE NO FUCKING REPUBLICANS WHO ARE SANE (OR WHO ARE SANE AND HAS LIVE GONADS) WILLING TO TELL THE GOP TO GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM.

    I wish I could get paid the kind of money Mark Fucking Halperin does to play fantasy political football.

    Asshole.

  7. 7.

    John O

    God does not love me enough to give me a Clinton-Bush “negotiation.”

    That could be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen MH say. Craptacular.

  8. 8.

    geg6

    I know there is a person to whom the title “stupidest man on the planet” has already been awarded, but I have always believed that title belongs to Halperin. I can feel myself losing IQ points any time I read something he’s written, heard something he’s said or even just had his name brought up in conversation.

    Damn you, Doug J, for erasing another few points!

  10. 10.

    PsiFighter37

    @geg6: Mark Halperin is a TMZ reporter at heart who somehow ended up writing about politics. The man treats it like it’s the goddamn entertainment industry.

  12. 12.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Wait… he’s saying this could happen now? he thinks Ted Cruz and Virginia Foxx are going to give their proxies to George W Bush, much less James Baker? He thinks they’re going to sit down and parlay with Bill Clinton because Orrin Hatch is pretending to be nostalgic for the “jerk” he voted to impeach?

    Seriously, someone should kindly tell Mark Fucking Halperin (how the fuck did he even get a job, he is by far the worst ‘reporter’, if you can call him that, that covers Washington politics)

    Mort Halperin, Mark is a prototype for Luke Russert

  13. 13.

    nineone

    @WereBear:

    The Republicans are holding a gun to the head of every person on earth. To get their way

    All that, and they’re still going to lose.

    Morans.

    As for Halperin, I am shocked that he didn’t suggest his t.v. Hubby, Morning Joke, for the job of Great White Problem Solver. And Mika! can be First MILF – er, um Mommy. Yeah, First Mommy.

  14. 14.

    ppcli

    More pairs who would be able to negotiate a CR/Debt deal:
    Obama-Sperling, Obama-Clinton, Obama-Bush II, Obama – Bolten, Obama-Klain, Obama – Baker.

    Pairs who would not be able to negotiate a CR/Debt deal:
    Cruz-Sperling, Cruz-Clinton, Cruz-Bush II, Cruz – Bolten, Cruz-Klain, Cruz – Baker.

    Unless the second of those pairs were prepared to give Cruz everything he demanded and receive nothing in return.

  15. 15.

    Steeplejack

    Halperin’s idiocy and meta-idiocy create a black hole of, well, über-idiocy. The whole point of a legislative body is to negotiate and come up with agreed-upon solutions. The ludicrous idea that we need to send in outside “envoys” to mediate between apparently implacable enemies serves only to confirm how insane the Republicans have become in their bubble—and what contortions their media enablers will go through to avoid recognizing that.

  16. 16.

    Mark S.

    I had to google Gene Sperling and Ron Klain. But I think I can come up with some random pairs as well:

    Aaron Spelling–FDR
    John Adams–Thomas Jefferson
    Jed Bartlett–Jeb Bush

  18. 18.

    Short Bus Bully

    This is a perfect example of our supposed betters not realizing even a little bit what’s going on in the reality outside their Village. The Mongols are laying siege demanding 100% capitulation or they raze the place and kill everyone (guess what they do if we DO capitulate?), and Halperin et al want to hug it out.

    Fucking bunch of Nevelle Chamberlains…

  20. 20.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Mark S.: Walter White and LBJ
    Mr Tulkinghorn and Lynne Cheney
    Tony Soprano and Barbara Bush
    Newt Gingrich and Lucille Bluth

  21. 21.

    rdldot

    What’s really sad, and not being said, is that Obama is having an easier time talking to the new Iranian president than the GOP. That’s how bad they are.

  22. 22.

    mai naem

    Don’t forget John McCain. McCain-Bush, McCain-Clinton, McCain-Sperling, McCain-Obama. Oops, no McCain-Cruz.

  23. 23.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @PsiFighter37:

    Well, he worked at the Mouse. Of course it’s about entertainment. Every “news” division of every network is about entertainment. Entertainment is what attracts eyeballs, which is what they sell to their true customers, the advertisers.

    It’s all about the benjamins, always.

  24. 24.

    Heliopause

    Speaking of pairs that can solve stuff, anybody else getting the “video that conservatives want banned” ads all over the place?

  26. 26.

    rdldot

    I know this isn’t an open thread, but this is driving me crazy and hopefully someone here can help. For the last week I have been getting this message whenever I open up or refresh BJ.

    ‘Do you want to open or save analytics.js from a.sitemeter.com?’

    Does anyone know how I can get rid of this message?

  27. 27.

    Botsplainer

    @Short Bus Bully:

    Halperin will make out just fine in the crash. He is puzzled over why people are upset over these tough choices.

    He’s also made my list of “pundits whose skulls meet the sweet spot of my baseball bat” if they get their desired societal collapse. The bat will, of course, be wood, as that is a far more satisfying sound and more appropriate to tradition.

  30. 30.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @mai naem: You forgot McCain-McCain.

    But I don’t like McCain! Don’t you have something without McCain?

    (Chorus of Sunday talk show hosts:)

    Oh we love McCain! We’re having McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-Bowles-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-Matalin-McCain!

  31. 31.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Mark S.:

    Obi-Wan Kenobi sees Mark Halperin in a bar. Halperin recites his list of people who could cut a deal.

    Obi-Wan looks at him hard, and says “You want to go home and rethink your life”.

    Halperin says “I want to go home and rethank my wife.”

    Obi-Wan facepalms. “I’m not going in there again, it’s pointless and hopeless.”

  32. 32.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @rdldot: A quick Google indicates it seems to be a bug that has popped up recently in some Sitemeter stuff. It seems to be restricted to Internet Explorer. The only posted solution seems to be to use a different browser, like Chrome, until it is fixed.

    HTH a little.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  34. 34.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    “Matalin is off”

    “Well, can I have McCain instead of Matalin then?”

    “You want to have McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-Bowles-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain-McCain?”

  36. 36.

    Alex S.

    Siskel and Ebert! Sonny and Cher! Matt Santos and Arnold Vinick! Spock and Spock from the Mirror Universe! Head and Desk!

  37. 37.

    Patrick

    Ever since Mark Halperin called the President of the United States the d-word on TV, I could literally give a rats a** what he has to say. My dish rag is more important than little Halperin.

    Seriously, he is a disrespectful pundit with an agenda. He is no different than Rush Limbaugh.

  38. 38.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Patrick: Christ, I’d forgotten all about that. The little half smile on his face like a three year old trying out a swear at his parents’ dinner party.

  40. 40.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    BTW how, pray tell, could two Presidents, in office during different decades not to mention both in the Executive Branch, “negotiate” any sort of “CR/debt deal”?

    Or am I looking for too much sense from Halperin, okay, never mind, question asked and answered.

    Edit: Or is he suggesting that they could actually negotiate a deal now, as elder statesmen? Which then leads to Prince’s question about how this gets anyone anywhere, okay never mind again. Halperin is not worth the scratching one’s head, any more than it was worth trying to figure out how McCain’s forgetting how many houses he owned on live TV was bad for his opponent in the election.

  43. 43.

    Patrick

    @Professor:

    Oh yes, no matter how bad the news was for John McCain, every time Mark “d**k” Halperin would be there claiming it instead was good news for John McCain. And as we know, McCain got slaughtered in the election.

    This guy has no credibility whatsoever. He is just a spokesperson for the GOP.

  47. 47.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    people really read The Note

    You can’t just make an assertion like that without quantifying how influential it is and offering some evidence. I don’t know anyone who reads The Note.

  49. 49.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: I’m pretty sure “read” was past tense there. Halperin doesn’t seem to be involved with it anymore, and yes, a lot of people did read it at one time. None of them include anyone I know personally either, but it was being linked and cited all over the Village at one point.

    Edit: Yeah: “In April 2007, Halperin left his post as editor of The Note”

  50. 50.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Heliopause:

    Yes, and remarkably, there are no hot babes in it, it’s more paranoid crap about Obama.

    The reason there are no hot babes? They’re all in Obama’s harem, of course.

  54. 54.

    Randy P

    @ppcli:

    Obama-Klain

    I don’t know who Klain is. I read that as Khan (as in Khaaaann!) and thought “yeah, he’d probably be a more good-faith negotiating partner than Cruz”.

    @WereBear:

    Eric Cantor and a Star-Bellied Sneetch!

    Well since you’re going for classic literature, I’ll say “A North-going Zax and a South-going Zax”

  60. 60.

    gogol's wife

    @Heliopause:

    It’s much better than the t o e n a i l s.

    I like this “pairs” game. Putin and Medvedev, anyone?

    Shirley Temple and Jane Withers.

    Cary Grant and Randolph Scott.

  62. 62.

    Keith P.

    This all comes down to Rush Limbaugh’s speech at CPAC a few years ago (the one where he showed up sweaty and bloated to all hell and back with the half-unbuttoned black shirt) where he said compromise meaning the GOP lays down their demands, and the Democrats accept it. That’s what it’s been for the last 5 years.

  66. 66.

    dmsilev

    @Keith P.:

    This all comes down to Rush Limbaugh’s speech at CPAC a few years ago (the one where he showed up sweaty and bloated to all hell and back with the half-unbuttoned black shirt

    That doesn’t really narrow things down very much.

  67. 67.

    SFAW

    @Keith P.:

    the one where he showed up sweaty and bloated to all hell and back

    Doesn’t really narrow it down, now does it?

    ETA: That was too weird. On the plus side, I’m thinking like dms!

  69. 69.

    SFAW

    @dmsilev:

    Should I be flattered or worried?

    Probably both. My comment was meant as flattery, because I think you’re generally pretty funny (by intent, of course, as opposed to Caribou Klaus Barbie). But it’s probably not a good idea for you to be associated with me, because of … well, ya know … uh, let’s just leave it at that.

  71. 71.

    Lurking Canadian

    @Heliopause: depending who you ask, that is either zero persons, one person or three persons. I think you’d need to go back to the third century to find somebody who thought it was two.

  73. 73.

    danielx

    Mark (“This is good news for John McCain”) Halperin misses the blindingly obvious, which is that the Republican nihilists in the House aren’t interested in a deal. Their view is that W (He Who Must Not Be Named) is and was a RINO, never mind James Baker or other Republican consigliere/fixers. This is especially true since for them, history began in January of 2009. As far as they’re concerned, the deal is that Obama act like he’s a stand-in for Willard Romney and give them everything they want and they won’t destroy the economy and the country’s international credit.

    Until next time. Because their idea seems to be that it’s perfectly okay to do something they know is stupid because they don’t know what will happen and it might all come out okay (much like walking into a room filled with black powder while holding a lit candle).

    And why not, says I – what is in the interests of individual members has nothing to do with the country’s best interests. The only thing the likes of Louie Gohmert have to fear is being primaried. The fact that they’re idiots and cruel assholes doesn’t effect their electoral fates, since the worse they are the better their constituents like it. That Louie and his ilk get elected and re-elected say volumes about those constituents…

  74. 74.

    Keith P.

    @SFAW: I was actually going to add “yeah, I know, ‘which one?'” to the bit about Limbaugh, but I think the black shirt appearance may have been unique enough…usually he’s sweaty and bloated in a golf shirt. He did a slimming session shortly after this particular CPAC appearance, too. Not sure what kind of diet he went on (or maybe it was just a few marathon dialysis sessions), but he looked to have dropped 50 or so pounds in something like 6 months. Kind of weight loss you see in alcoholics going cold turkey.

  79. 79.

    pseudonymous in nc

    The most pernicious bit of Halperin’s nonsense is the idea that policy needs to be placed in the hands of the once-elected and unelected. People like them. In sane countries, policy is decided by the elected.

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