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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

He really is that stupid.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Everybody saw this coming.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

How stupid are these people?

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / I Don’t Know Why I Do This To Myself

I Don’t Know Why I Do This To Myself

by John Cole|  December 21, 20138:38 pm| 68 Comments

This post is in: Dog Blogging, Pet Rescue

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So for some stupid reason, even though my house is full, I keep looking at petfinder for cats and dogs (oddly enough, the potential in every one cheers me up even though I know they are in shitty situations), and I cam across this at around noon today:

JULIET

I think I may have actually squealed like a pre-teen girl when I saw that- it’s the same sad eyes and flat sad ears that pulled Lily into my life. Thank goodness I have no car because otherwise I would be on the road to Lancaster, Ohio, first thing Monday morning.

That dog is precious and clearly another retired sex worker who needs TO BE ON MY LAP WITH LILY AND ROSIE.

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68Comments

  1. 1.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 21, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    There’s always a rental car.

    Seriously, you don’t have a rental? Paid by your insurance co? Really?

  2. 2.

    Yatsuno

    December 21, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    PUPPEH!!!

    Lancaster isn’t all that far from you is it?

  3. 3.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Another retired sex worker?

  4. 4.

    Time Travelin

    December 21, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    That pup is totes adore. I get where you’re coming from, Cole.

  5. 5.

    Aji

    December 21, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    Awwww. Yes, he does need to be on your lap with Lily and Rosie.

    And this, Cole, is why the mister and I luvs yer site.

  6. 6.

    Elizabelle

    December 21, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    She’s so beautiful in her scarf.

    Beagle/dachshund mix.

    I think you need her.

  7. 7.

    jl

    December 21, 2013 at 8:47 pm

    Cute dog. I am in dogperson love with it too, at first glance.

    As for Cole, if he gets it, I suppose we can keep count and decide when an intervention is required.

    How’s the trashed-car-in-the-field project coming along?

    Edit: if the trashed care saga keeps up much longer, the story will soon deserve a country song devoted to it. Cole should try his hand an anthem, might make enough coin to to tow the thing and get a new car.

  8. 8.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: @Aji: @Elizabelle: You people are only enabling him.

  9. 9.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 21, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    Someone said it in the last thread:

    Cole can’t stay away from the bitches.

  10. 10.

    Alison

    December 21, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    Since we’re on the subject of adorable doggies making us sad and needing homes…this boy at my local shelter is just breaking my heart https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=630349453677727&set=pb.211690755543601.-2207520000.1387676767.&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Fscontent-a-pao.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F1521625_630349453677727_1171453992_n.jpg&size=936%2C588

    Poor Scooby hasn’t had a single visit. We’re working hard to find him a forever home, and boy does he need one. Won’t you please share him? Scooby is the first dog to benefit from the Misha and Dante fund – his diabetes supplies, check ups and everything in between is COVERED for the rest of his life. This sweet, mellow, affectionate dog is 10 years old, and needs out of the shelter right now. He needs twice daily injections that are no big deal. He likes snuggling with other dogs! We’re nice and all, but a concrete kennel is no place for a healthy, amazing senior dog. Please help us give Scooby his holiday wish, and let’s find him a new beginning. 707-778-PETS.

    SERIOUSLY. If any BJers know anyone in the Bay Area who has room in their home and heart for this buddy…pleeeeeease send them Scooby’s way!

  11. 11.

    MikeJ

    December 21, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    @Time Travelin: Totes McGoats.

  12. 12.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 21, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Another retired sex worker?

    Did you check out the scarf?

  13. 13.

    Elizabelle

    December 21, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    The teats. She may have whelped recently.

  14. 14.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 21, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: As I noted there, I’ve got that problem as well. Now they demand a walk.

  15. 15.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: @Elizabelle: Neither of those things said retired sex worker to me, but okay.

  16. 16.

    WaterGIrl

    December 21, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    It’s the jaunty scarf that makes the outfit.

    @Alison: I knew I shouldn’t have clicked the link. I got tears in my eyes just reading your comment.

  17. 17.

    WaterGIrl

    December 21, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I thought she just looked fashionable. Nothing about her says “hooker” to me.

    Well, fashionable, and oh so sweet.

  18. 18.

    Anne Laurie

    December 21, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    Remember, if the shelter permits out-of-area adoptions, we can probably set up a travel chain to get Juliet to a new home. But better not in WV, because seriously, Cole, Lily doesn’t need any more lap competition!

    “Beagle/dachshund mix”… heck, I can remember when somebody swore he’d never live with a dog that bore any trace of the Beagle Taint…

  19. 19.

    Alison

    December 21, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    @WaterGIrl: I KNOW RIGHT.

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    December 21, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    @Anne Laurie:

    I love beagles. Love, love, love, love beagles.

    And they’ve become fashionable again in Northern Virginia, believe it or not.

    Although I never thought they fell out of fashion.

  21. 21.

    max

    December 21, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    Well, I’d take her because she’s get along great with Demondog (the recent adopted dachshund), but I already have four. Cute little thing.

    max
    [‘And two cats.’]

  22. 22.

    Aji

    December 21, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Yer point?

  23. 23.

    max

    December 21, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    Diabetes antidote:

    Now 77, which makes him only the ninth-oldest member of the Senate, McCain looks as if he has not aged a day since conceding to Barack Obama on the night of Nov. 4, 2008. He resists suggestions that he has tried on different personae to suit the political moment, but he certainly understands the laws of political reinvention. On a wall next to his office desk hangs a group photo that includes David Petraeus, the decorated general who quit as head of the C.I.A. last year after admitting to an extramarital affair with his “biographer” Paula Broadwell. I ask McCain what Petraeus is up to these days. “Oh, he’s off doing that rehabbing. Speeches, teaching, maybe a book, that kind of thing. You know, there are second acts in American politics.” […]
    I have known McCain for about a decade. He was always fun to hang around with, for obvious reasons, back when he used to refer to the media as “my base” and called his 2000 presidential campaign bus the Straight Talk Express. The novelist David Foster Wallace described McCain, flatteringly, as someone who “acts somewhat in the ballpark of the way a real human being would act.” (By contrast, Wallace quoted a CNN sound tech describing Al Gore as “amazingly lifelike.”) Central to that human quality, Wallace and many others have noted, was the fact that McCain has survived three plane crashes, cancer, public disgrace and, above all, five and a half years of torture in a North Vietnamese P.O.W. camp. As Bob Dole is said to have put it, “You spend five years in a box, and you’re entitled to speak your mind.”

    Friends of McCain’s say that his loss in ’08, and the ridicule he suffered in the wake of it, was traumatizing in itself. “John has had two defining events in his life,” Senator Tom Coburn, Republican of Oklahoma, told me. “The first was his imprisonment, and the second was his failure to win the presidency.”

    There are at least 100,000 dead Iraqis who are crying real heavenly tears at all the suffering of St. John of Arizona.

    max
    [‘Our Fucking Worthless Town.’]

  24. 24.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 21, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    Sparkly scarf is sparkly. Doggie is cute. You need another dog and a cat to complete your menagerie.

  25. 25.

    Princess Leia

    December 21, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    There are never enough pets. GO GET HER, COLE. Ignore these reasonable people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. 26.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 21, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    @max: Is that from the NYT magazine? This week there is a long tongue bath to McCain by Mark Leibovich.

  27. 27.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    @Aji: I see.

  28. 28.

    WaterGIrl

    December 21, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    This little girl is cute, cute, cute. Speaking for Lily, though, since she can’t speak up for herself…

    Lily has graciously accepted another dog, and there is love enough and lap enough for two dogs. But as someone who grew up with two sisters, I can tell you that when you have three, one is always left out.*

    Stand your ground, Lily! (No, don’t get the shotgun and shoot him.) Just let Cole know that two dogs is enough. But he can get as many kitties as he wants, that’s different.

    Edit: *and my oldest sister still isn’t completely over it.

  29. 29.

    Narcissus

    December 21, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    Cole : get laid.

  30. 30.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 21, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    @max: He resists suggestions that he has tried on different personae to suit the political moment,

    “build the dang fence!”

    Friends of McCain’s say that his loss in ’08, and the ridicule he suffered in the wake of it, was traumatizing in itself.

    Jesus, he was traumatized by the ridicule? There wasn’t nearly enough. I wouldn’t be surprised, if anyone ever gave enough of a fuck to do the research, that his fawning “Sunday show” appearances became even more frequent post-Palin

  31. 31.

    Anne Laurie

    December 21, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    @max: Hand to goddess, I’ve got a post about that I’m holding so the Blogmaster can let his Crazy Cat Guy flag fly free…

  32. 32.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    @max: I think he was most traumatized by being passed over for O-7.

  33. 33.

    eemom

    December 21, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    @Anne Laurie:
    @WaterGIrl:

    um, dogs aren’t human.

    Cole, if you can afford the vet costs, etc., there’s no earthly reason you shouldn’t adopt this doggie. 3 dogs — especially 3 little dogs — is in no way excessive….again, if you can afford it.

  34. 34.

    Ken

    December 21, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I thought he meant she was a breed animal from a puppy farm, but if she’s a mix like Elizabelle says, that’s not likely – unless the beagle/dachshund is some new breed, like the schnoodle. (Beashund? Dachsgle?)

  35. 35.

    Unabogie

    December 21, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Maybe now’s a good time to give an update on our loss of the awesome and beloved Fergus and the adoption of the awesome and beloved Amelia Pond?

    She’s settled in wonderfully. She’s just all joy and fun, she does indeed take no shit from Maxwell (who tries to steal her food) but she’s an instant friend to all dogs and people. And even though she’s an escape artist extraordinaire, we took her to the dog park whose gate won’t even slow her down for a second she slid right under it like it was a game of limbo, but when we called her name, she stopped turned around, and came running back to us.

    In short, how did we luck into this wonderful girl?

    All I can say is: do it, Cole. These pets make us better people.

    Oh, and spring for a fucking rental car, cheapskate!

  36. 36.

    Aji

    December 21, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: THIS.

    He got the kid-glove treatment where anyone else would’ve been crucified. And still he whines.

  37. 37.

    chrome agnomen

    December 21, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    @max:

    Wait! Mccain was a POW!!??

  38. 38.

    ranchandsyrup

    December 21, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    OK, take two on pimping my wife’s post on how she dreams she’d train our dogs. http://ranchandsyrup.com/2013/12/21/the-watergun/

  39. 39.

    eemom

    December 21, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    @eemom:

    ….and have the space, I guess I should have added.

  40. 40.

    Eric U.

    December 21, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    we adopted a second dog because he looked like our first. Two alpha males in the same household is interesting, but they get along ok.

  41. 41.

    Yatsuno

    December 21, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Was that before his first or his second crash?

  42. 42.

    Anne Laurie

    December 21, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    @eemom: No, dogs are pack animals who are even more hierarchial than us primates. Lily, according to Cole, is quite submissive; Rosie is not. Per his anecdotes, the two bitches have achieved a satisfactory stand-off where Lily doesn’t demand Rosie accept her canine-proper “second banana” status, and Rosie doesn’t push her luck by challenging Lily-who-John-loves-most.

    As someone who’s watched a lot of dogs, especially rescue dogs, interact over the last thirty years (and I have the surgical scars to prove it), I’m amazed how much Cole got lucky with his current two-dog pack. Adding a third female dog, be she never so submissive, greatly increases the chances of personality conflicts… and the ensuing vet bills.

    This is the very opposite of anthromorphosizing; it’s acknowledging that dogs are not tiny humans in fursuits, and that sometimes we can understand their motivations but not change their hard-wiring.

  43. 43.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    @Yatsuno: After both.

  44. 44.

    Princess Leia

    December 21, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    @eemom: Well said.

  45. 45.

    ranchandsyrup

    December 21, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    @efgoldman: It would be fun to have some caches of water weapons around the house. Could think of all sorts of uses…..

  46. 46.

    John Cole

    December 21, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    @Anne Laurie: I think part of my success is that I listened to a lot of people commenting here and have made sure that my house is always a house of plenty. I have multiple food bowls for the dogs, several litter boxes (he really only uses one, but I wanted Steve to know it was his house and I put up a couple boxes to counteract the scent of Tunch and used the Felliway plugin and pray), and there is always ample lap time.

    I also always have a lot of company, and all of my friends are pet owners, so all their human interaction has been positive and reassuring since the day they came into my home. I really honestly believe that if you let pets know there is always plenty of whatever they want and socialize them with good people, there really isn’t any set of animals who can not live under the same roof (with the obvious exceptions of very damaged animals and gos with very high prey drive that would not be good for cats).

    All in all, I can honestly say I have learned a great deal about dogs and cats in the last couple of years, and wouldn’t flinch before introducing another animal- as long as it is the right one, and I know the right one when I see it.

  47. 47.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    @efgoldman: So do people.

  48. 48.

    windpond

    December 21, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    I love this blog and those who comment. I live in Fairbanks, AK where today the sun ‘rose’ at 10:59a and set at 2:40p. This site makes up the difference. Thank you all.

  49. 49.

    ranchandsyrup

    December 21, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    @efgoldman: Sure enough. A couple of ours are cat sized so it’d work for us as well. I’d end up using them on unsuspecting humans, though.

  50. 50.

    Cassidy

    December 21, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    You could try looking at a dating site or going out to meet people. I’m under the impression you have all your teeth, so you’re already ahead.

  51. 51.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    @efgoldman: I might try it on my niece and nephew over the holidays.

  52. 52.

    Esme's Mom

    December 21, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    I’m a sucker for brown eyed beauties in disco ties. You should go get her.

  53. 53.

    Eric U.

    December 21, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    @Cassidy: Having lived 40 miles from the WVa border for much of my life, I’m not convinced having all your teeth is a plus when looking for a mate

  54. 54.

    Aleta

    December 21, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    “when she was in foster care she got along great with all dogs, cats, and children” (from her bio) — indicates she is skilled at fitting in

    I’ll donate $20 for John’s car rental or gas …

  55. 55.

    Esme's Mom

    December 21, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    I’m in for $20. I just looked at her other photos on the website. She needs you.

  56. 56.

    Joseph Nobles

    December 21, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    If there’s a FSM: when John finally moves the car, he finds the mustard.

    ETA: In fact, I would throw $20 into the pot for someone to drive to the field and put a jar of mustard underneath the car.

  57. 57.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 21, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    @Joseph Nobles:

    ETA: In fact, I would throw $20 into the pot for someone to drive to the field and put a jar of mustard underneath the car.

    Backseat. But yeah, I am in for another $20. Does anyone know the mustard brand? Good thing Cole doesn’t read his blog, huh?

  58. 58.

    Violet

    December 21, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    She’s gorgeous. She belongs in your home. I’m sure one of your many friends or a family member would be happy to loan you their car or drive you there themselves. Go get her.

  59. 59.

    Pogonip

    December 22, 2013 at 12:30 am

    What about Scooby, the lonely elderly Corgi? Can you set up a chain to get him a home?

  60. 60.

    Fordpowers

    December 22, 2013 at 12:48 am

    Me too!!!!

    I want her http://www.oregonhumane.org/adopt/adopted_detail.asp?animalID=153521

  61. 61.

    YellowJournalism

    December 22, 2013 at 1:03 am

    I saw this post on Twitter earlier and couldn’t resist clicking on “Find a Pet” for my area. It’s a huge coincidence because my oldest son and I almost took a cat home from adoption day at Petsmart. They had a tabby named Hashbrown that my son keeps talking about. I fell in love with a Maine Coon named Tigger.

    Damn you, Cole. It’s catching.

  62. 62.

    donnah

    December 22, 2013 at 8:19 am

    We adopted a dog from the local shelter years ago when my boys were littel. Before that, we adopted cats. As it stands, we have a dog and two cats, and all have been rescues. Sometimes you go looking for a new critter to take in, and sometimes they find you.

    Our most recent addition is a glorious longhair, what they used to call Balinese. She’s like a lilac pointed Siamese, but with long hair and gorgeous big blue eyes. She appeared on our front porch a couple of summers ago and simply would not leave. I had her tested for feline leukemia, she passed the test, and then had her bathed and got all her medical needs taken care off. The dog hated her, as did the other cat, but they have a non-aggressive alliance now and it’s all good.

    This cat, Fiona, is simply the best cat ever. She’s quiet, affectionate, playful and as sweet as any pet we’ve ever had. The vet techs and the groomer all have told me they’ve never seen such a sweetheart. People who come to visit invariably say they would take her home with them in a heartbeat. She’s just amazing.

    So I guess if John sees something in this new dog, then he should follow his heart and save her.

    Oh, and check on the rental car policy if you go that route. We’re driving a rental car now while our car is in the shop, and the contract says no pets allowed.

  63. 63.

    WaterGIrl

    December 22, 2013 at 8:30 am

    @donnah: Nice story, and she advice. All before 8:30. Today should be a good day.

  64. 64.

    WaterGIrl

    December 22, 2013 at 10:19 am

    @WaterGIrl: Not that it matters, since the thread is dead, but that was supposed to be SAGE advice. Damn autocorrect.

  65. 65.

    WaterGIrl

    December 22, 2013 at 10:19 am

    duplicate

  66. 66.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 22, 2013 at 10:23 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I would LOVE to know what the hell happened that derailed the McCain flag express, third iteration.

    I have a sneaking suspicion that his air wing command didn’t work out well, and the Navy said enough is enough with the legacy shit, this guy doesn’t have what it takes for a flag.

  67. 67.

    Elizabelle

    December 22, 2013 at 10:49 am

    So what’s going on with Ms. Disco Scarf Dog?

    You know you want her.

  68. 68.

    WaterGIrl

    December 22, 2013 at 11:09 am

    @Elizabelle: You are a trouble-maker! Do they made you sit at the bad kids table for holiday meals? :-)

    Full disclosure: The bad kids table is the best seat in the house.

    Edit: she is so unbelievably cute that I suspect she has been snapped up by someone between last night and now.

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