Went to bed and fell asleep and promptly had a nightmare which is just too fucking weird to describe, chugged a bunch of water, and am playing Abbey Road at ear bleeding volumes and Lily is on my lap and my man is right next to me:
If you have never had panic attacks and nightmares, you will never understand the wave of terror while they happen or the wave of odd euphoria that washes over the body when you know you aren’t going to die. If it ever happens to you, I recommend Houses of the Holy, Abbey Road, Wish You Were Here, Animals, or Eat a Peach. Really, that is all I have in my arsenal, but it has worked for me.
One of these days it will stop.
Jordan Rules
Lovely Stevie, what a wonder.
theotherwa
Yup. Good music and furry loved ones can get you through a lot. Here’s hoping you get back to sleep at some point tonight.
joel hanes
You’re just looking for the bridge
lahke
ah!! heard enough about CandyCrush to try it, and now I’ve wasted 4 hours I’ll never get back again. Let’s all try to get some sleep.
ulee
I never give you my number I only give you my situation.
Hold on John. The Beatles are a good antidote. And luckily for us, you give us your number.
ulee
Once there was a way to get back homeward
once there was a way to get back home
Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight a long time
Eric
Just had the same experience john. Good times. Not sure it ever goes away. Sigh
Betty Cracker
We’ll said, Ulee.
I’m sitting next to my mom in ICU. She’s pretty much the same as when this waking nightmare began.
It’s too bad people can’t bring their pets to the hospital. I get why it wouldn’t work, but if ever you need the comfort of furry companions…
Also, everyone should wear scrubs to work, no matter what their job. Including fashion designers.
Goblue72
Just finished watching Godard’s Breathless. Not sure how I sleep after that. Quite French.
ulee
@Betty Cracker: Hard to go wrong with the Beatles. I hope the best for your mother and for you, and yes, pets should be allowed everywhere. I used to bring my dog to a psychiatric hospital when I worked there. In the forensic unit, even the most hardened criminals would roll and play on the floor and say—Oh, I miss my dog.
seaboogie
John, been there too often to count, and so I am with you. Also, ativan has my back now, and that helps me to go forward when I get very, very stuck.- better than checking into the emergency ward. Betty, with you there too dearie…. Being human is hard, fucking work.
Time Travelin
I have never had a panic attack but I have felt very close to having them. I have had night terrors and night paralysis (the absolute wost).
Funny how a country boy like you and city boy like me have almost identical go-to music.
AdamK
4:30 a.m., just woke up from my own weird nightmare, cat’s here running around like she isn’t ancient and doesn’t have a heart condition. Let me tell you, the relief is the part that’s an illusion, because you are going to die. Everybody’s going to die. That’s life.
henqiguai
Nope. Well, the nightmares, but they stopped once I learned how to control them. They became a form of entertainment and then just stopped. Teach yourself to recognize a dream and wake yourself up. Everyone can do that, right?
But you want nightmare? Your young adult daughter calls from the big city (we’re ’bout 40 miles outside of Boston, I’m being kind on the ‘big city’ descriptor, in the north central sticks) at 03:00 to tell you her purse and wallet and keys were jacked…
Oh, and I’ve always hated the Beattles
max
If you have never had panic attacks and nightmares
Well, I never had what you would call panic attacks, but I definitely had sweat-soaked freak out-inducing nightmares. Via PTSD.
or the wave of odd euphoria that washes over the body when you know you aren’t going to die.
Had that feeling on a number of occasions, mostly when the bullets missed.
If it ever happens to you, I recommend Houses of the Holy, Abbey Road, Wish You Were Here, Animals, or Eat a Peach. Really, that is all I have in my arsenal, but it has worked for me.
I’m surprised you don’t listen to REM (pre-Orange Crush). And also Dark Side of the Moon.
max
[‘I really hope Ragnarok didn’t begin yesterday, or we’re all in a whole lot of trouble.’]
NotMax
Might one (humbly) suggest closing the eyes and grooving to Pink Floyd’s “Alan’s Psychedelic Breakfast,” McDonald & Giles’ Birdman, Jim Pepper’s “Witchi Tai To” or anything from It’s A Beautiful Day’s It’s A Beautiful Day album.
Ellen
There was a RadioLab a couple of years ago about nightmares, and how to stop them:
http://www.radiolab.org/story/182747-wake-up-dream/
Worth a try.
Betty Cracker
@So the story goes.: Fuck you.
contract3d
Yup. Here Comes the Sun has been my ultimate “get out of nightmare free” card since, well, the late sixties.
Death Panel Truck
@joel hanes: Where’s that confounded bridge?
Just One More Canuck
I guess Betty should feel honoured – she’s got her own personal troll – a particularly ugly, nasty troll
Ignore it as best you can Betty and hang in there
Death Panel Truck
@henqiguai:
Yeah, I’ve always hated them, too.
The Beatles, on the other hand…
SixStringFanatic
@max: Can’t speak for Cole but I also listen to Animals more often than Dark Side, for a couple of reasons.
1) I haven’t heard the songs from Animals played over and over and over yet again on classic rock stations these last 40 years.
2) Animals has these fantastic long instrumental sections in the songs and really rocking instrumentals, not as psychedelic as Dark Side and previous albums. Those sections really show the amazing musicianship of all four guys in the band but most especially David Gilmour. The album is a tour-de-force for Gilmour’s guitar work; his solos on “Another Brick in the Wall” and “Comfortably Numb” show up regularly on “Best Guitar Solo Ever” lists but I think his work on “Dogs” is even better.
If you’re any kind of Pink Floyd fan and you somehow haven’t heard Animals yet, go get it RIGHT FUCKING NOW, put it on the highest quality sound system you can commandeer and play it Really. Fucking. Loud.
And don’t thank me afterwards. Turn somebody else on to this album instead.
sparrow
@Betty Cracker: Hope things start looking up soon, been thinking good thoughts for you.
Just got out of the hospital myself, after spiking a high fever yesterday, they kept me for observation… Maybe to see if I really had mono, which is the official diagnosis from the ER. I’m way past the normal age for getting that I guess, and I got tired of the knowing smiles I got when I told them I teach on a college campus. No I am NOT banging any students, thank you very much…
Anyway, to the point, when I was delirious with fever I kept telling my boyfriend I wanted my cat… Apparently I kept saying she would be a ‘good hospital cat’… Heh.
skjellyfetti
Box of Rain is always good, and I agree about Eat a Peach. Something about 35 minutes of Mountain Jam does a good job of cleaning out the pipes–almost a pseudo acid trip
oldster
Very sorry to hear about the bad night, John.
The cause seems pretty clear to me, though, if you just read through the posts in order.
First the cauliflower. Then the nightmares.
I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet
Hang in there JC and Betty.
ObOpenThread: Lots of people are having troubles with stubborn colds this year. There’s a good (maybe perfect ;-) Chicken Soup recipe up at Clove Garden (an on-line friend’s site) that may be worth a try.
Cheers,
Scott.
Cermet
Cole, I am, forced to consider “Beta Blockers” and have researched this class of drug. Interestingly, one side effect (of a number) is that these drugs are known to reduce ‘Panic Attacks’ (many professionals (esp. actors/dancers) use Beta Blockers to deal with stage fright or public speaking.) There are a host of possible health issues when using these drugs and only you doing research on this topic that will enable you to make an informed decision of risk to benefit; but you might consider this drug and if you determine it could help, then get your doctor to write a prescription. Oh, don’t waste your time asking a doctor first – that profession is more full of know-nothings than the thug party (a few exceptions but rare.)
Also, colds can be reduced by taking at least 2000 IU (5000 is better still) of vitamin D. This non-vitamin can also reduce how bad a flu will be be if you do get one and will reduce the cold’s length, as well.
HRA
What oldster said in #30.
One horrific nightmare that repeated itself for days on end made me do a major change in my life. Looking back the change was what halted the nightmare.
What I had to really work even harder on is having those moments when I knew what was going to happen sooner or later vividly in my mind. Once that was gone forever, I finally had peace.
I am hoping the best result occurs for you, John.
jurassicpork
And then there are some nightmares from which you can’t seem to awaken. When I said a couple of days ago that George Bailey was back on the bridge, I wasn’t speaking metaphorically.
hartly
If you’re having nightmares, maybe “Come Together” and “Because” aren’t the best therapy.
Frankensteinbeck
Panic attacks rarely go away on their own, John. Unless you have some very obvious trauma or life-threatening worries to induce them, they’re usually a sign of neurochemical imbalance. Having nothing to worry about can help you defend against them, and CBT psychological hygiene skills can help keep them from spiraling into unbearable panic, but that’s ‘help’. They’re chemical, and they’re going to happen and keep happening. Your brain is supplying its own bad drug trip without you doing anything. And yes, they are horrible. They’re not a usual part of my bipolar, but I’ve had them and a full scale panic attack is torture. Low level anxiety attacks are bad enough.
Since panic attacks are usually neurochemical, a psychiatrist and medicine is the only thing that fully works. Unfortunately, psych meds are almost universally a matter of ‘what side effects are worth it to fix this horrible problem?’
donnah
Betty, my thoughts are with you as you stay with your mom. I wish she would suddenly turn around and be better. It’s so difficult to see our parents at their most fragile time.
Hang in there, and know that there are many of us out here sending you strength.
Hugs, Donna
WaterGirl
This nasty creature upthread has clearly crossed a line. Would one you front-pagers ban this person at #18?
Please please please
Omnes Omnibus
@WaterGirl: It’s new. Perhaps if it is ignored, it will just slither away. If it gets the ban it is obviously looking for, it will feel rewarded and keep coming back.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus: You are so right. What new creature?
YellowJournalism
@Frankensteinbeck: Going to agree here. I bit the bullet a year ago, John, and finally admitted my pain attacks were taking over my life. I would have them at least two or three times a day and often at least once a night. The night ones are the worst, especially when combined with nightmares and that weird state of mind that only comes from being half-awake, half in a dream state.
I’ve gone from thinkin I was going to die almost every hour of the day to actually having a clear head to think about the things that may have triggered the attacks. My meds are low-dose and do give me occasional stomach issues if I miss a pill.
w3ski
Been there, done that. Nothing like a night terror to make sleep look like a bad idea.
In my case they eventually have gone away.
Good Luck,
I Know!
w3ski
Jersey Joe
“American Beauty” is a pretty good mellowing agent.
Mnemosyne
@Ellen:
I somehow managed to train myself to dream lucidly and it definitely helped with a recurring nightmare I had. Now the nightmare still pops up occasionally (I get it when I’m feeling overwhelmed at home and work) but I can control it and “observe” it rather than getting caught up in it. Now it’s more like, Oh, it’s the zombie dream, I’ll need to ask for help with the things that are overwhelming me.
henqiguai
@Death Panel Truck (#26):
Yeah, I saw what you did there. Soon as I hit <Submit> I saw the error but at that time of the morning I just didn’t care. ‘Sides, it’s still the Beatles, and I still don’t like their
caterwaulingmusic.kc
@Betty Cracker:
I’m so sorry, Betty.
kc
Steve is a sexy beast.
Ted and Hellen
“One of these days it will stop.”
It is unlikely your panic attacks will stop until you suck it up and actually DEAL with them and whatever their root causes are.
Get professional help. Spend some of that Internet research time finding the best source of help you can, then go check yourself in.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
Got my first decent night of sleep on night six of sobriety (with 50 Mg of benadryl and 5 Mg of Melatonin.) Slept pretty good last night on the same doses. I’ll keep this up for another week, and then I’ll try it with 25 Mg of Benadryl. We’ll see.
Steeplejack
@GHayduke (formerly lojasmo):
Good on you. Keep on keeping on.
mclaren
You must describe this nightmare. It’s probably the next episode of True Detective.
Chaplain Weasle
Mine are Houses of the Holy, Wish You Were Here, and Darkside of the Moon. I listen and look @ pictures of LOL cats and the results of googling “cute kittens”… my husband knows now to use these if I start having an attack & can’t help myself.
I used to listen to Metallica or Ministry, but it caused me to be a bit self-destructive & fed my anger & survivor’s guilt… I’m glad PTSD therapy got me past that .
Hope you have a good day & restful sleep or a nice nap when you next need them
Peace
PS- my cats are like furry therapists… Steve & Lilly are clearly yours & they love you truly and dearly ;)