Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Bark louder, little dog.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

This fight is for everything.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

No one could have predicted…

You can’t love your country only when you win.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

You are here: Home / Sports / USA v Portugal Open Thread

Reader Interactions

312Comments

  4. 4.

    Morzer

    I am going to say USA to win 3-1.

    Portugal are an older, slower side and Mini-Ronaldo doesn’t look fully fit: result a one-trick pony with half a trick missing.

    Amir Khalid: Madame Morzer has been contemplating her favorite cleaver thoughtfully. I shall try to intercede for you.

  6. 6.

    Tripod

    It’s not 2002. The USA is much better.

    Jay Göppingen looking and talking confident.

  7. 7.

    Violet

    While we’re waiting, this is kind of fun: The World Cup of Everything Else. You click the various items in the left column, which has things like Population Density, Most Tourists Per Capita, and Highest Murder Rate. The USA wins Highest Obesity Rate. USA! USA!

  8. 8.

    Keith G

    Thanks to Allah for Univision. It sure is fun with my very spotty conversational Spanish skills to listen to this team of broadcasters be such USA “homers” in what so many feel is a foreign language.

  9. 9.

    burnspbesq

    4-2-3-1. Zusi on the left and Dempsey goes up front.

    Portugal goes 4-3-3, CR7 on the left.

    Zusi and Beasley could have some fun on that side. Nani doesn’t defend much, and what defending he does isn’t exactly awe-inspiring.

  12. 12.

    Alex S.

    If the defense works as intended, Portugal will soon lose patience. I want to see Ronaldo pissed off.

  15. 15.

    dmsilev

    @Violet: “Note: In Group F, Bosnia and Herzegovina was awarded a free pass to round of 16 even though it has no Starbucks locations.
    Source: Starbucks”

    Damn crooked referees are everywhere.

  18. 18.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Keith G: Not sure who you are listening to call the matches, but Ian Darke and Macca are far from USA homers, in fact both men are Brits who call an excellent match

  19. 19.

    raven

    Well, I went downtown and in spite of Athfest I found a parking place. All the joints showing the game was packed so I came home!

  20. 20.

    HumboldtBlue

    @burnspbesq: No way, keep Dempsey at a center mid spot and put Wondo or Ice at the tip of the spear. Dempsey will have a much greater impact creating rather than finishing.

  25. 25.

    Morzer

    Am I imagining things, or is the Google doodle running an animation intended to basically say e (in goal) pluribus (the many letters in “Goog” that scurry past the goal) unum (the l of “Google” which represents the 1 )?

    Too crazy?

  30. 30.

    Betty Cracker

    Hubby and I are watching the run up to the first futbol game we’ve ever watched. The men are handsome!

  31. 31.

    Marc

    I would love to know who is more hated by the local Brazilian fans: the US – not really well liked in South America in general – or the old colonial overlords from Portugal?

  37. 37.

    Schlemizel

    @Morzer:

    If I have to think that hard about a google doodle they have failed.

    I like you analysis but man that is a lot of thinking to get to.

  39. 39.

    HumboldtBlue

    Beasley the only American to play in four World Cups and also the only American owed a drink from Joe Biden

  51. 51.

    Nicole

    “the US hit the self destruct button”; “a catastrophe in the US defense”; “a horror show.”

    If nothing else, I am really enjoying the commentary.

  52. 52.

    Schlemizel

    So far this looks a lot like the previous match, 4-1 would be humiliating. Its early yet, hopefully the US youth will wear them down

  54. 54.

    Violet

    Announcer just said something about Portugal smelling blood. Sure looks that way. USA looks really outclassed.

  55. 55.

    Amir Khalid

    I’m afraid I might have to disappoint you USA fans.

    Either that, or I’m setting up for a dramatic come-from-behind win for the USMNT.

  56. 56.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    Here’s to validating the Men In Blazers’ maxim that a team should not score too early.

  60. 60.

    SiubhanDuinne

    A couple of weeks ago someone put up one of those quizzes — “If you were a FIFA team, what country would you be?” — and I got Portugal.

    But I didn’t really mean it.

  63. 63.

    Schlemizel

    @raven:
    yeah, he’ll take the hit in stats but that was some pretty pathetic running around flapping arms from his D

  65. 65.

    Keith G

    BTW – a quick search lead me to the ESPN radio stream of the game match. So, I can watch on Univision and hear a call in English. Which means I can finish prepping supper and still follow.

  69. 69.

    HumboldtBlue

    I may be an asshole and an old man yelling at clouds, but the tattoos are simply dreadful and it doesn’t matter who has them, they all look like someone colored on their arms and need to wash it off

  71. 71.

    Schlemizel

    @Keith G:
    after he rode Beckerman like a rented mule. I particularly liked the way he wrapped his arm around Beckermans. I think that is what ledt to the elbow.

  72. 72.

    Alex S.

    That doesn’t look bad at all, a shame about that goal. Portugal will try to slow this game down, they can’t keep up.

  80. 80.

    HumboldtBlue

    @raven: It can mean play on or he points to the spot for a free kick, it depends on which way he points, if he points in the direction of the flow of play it’s play on, if he points the other way it’s a stoppage and free kick

  82. 82.

    Cain

    Portugal’s game is for shit.. we keep making mistakes.. we’ve blown so many chances already with the ball being a little higher than it should be. They need to improve that. This game is USA’s to lose.

  83. 83.

    Baud

    If they are complaining about the heat now, I can’t wait until they play in Qatar.

  86. 86.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Cain: They are quick offensively but they have no form on defense and Bradley has shown up to play this game

  87. 87.

    Keith G

    The EPSN radio call is a minute and a half behind the Univision video. A bit of a surreal viewing experience.

  95. 95.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Keith G:

    It’s been the other way around for me for the entire tournament, so far. Univision is, in effect, where I go for highlights.

    ETA: But I’m listning to it on an actual radio.

  96. 96.

    Violet

    Sure is a shame about that early goal by Portugal. The US is looking much stronger. At least they’ve been able to get it together.

  98. 98.

    JPL

    @Keith G: I don’t have cable so I was streaming ESPN. I can get univision on antenna though. Univision is a minute plus ahead of espn.

    edit.. my antenna does receive a signal from univision

  100. 100.

    Cain

    These near wins are probably putting a ton of pressure on Portugal, but really those shots need to go in, and not go wide every time.. grr. alittle frustrating because it has nothing to do wtih defense, it is our own skill. :/

  111. 111.

    Schlemizel

    Water break? Thats sort of like the old injury time where the ref would decide that some number of minutes needed to be added to the game through some calculation only he knew.

    Why not set a mark & make them mandatory if the temp/humidity is in excess. As it is now one side could easily whine about the break because of timing.

  112. 112.

    JPL

    @Cain: It’s one minute behind univision. Of course, I have no idea what the announcers were saying..
    i.e. good miss

  113. 113.

    Alex S.

    @JPL:

    It depends on the game against Germany, and on Portugal vs. Ghana

    I guess a draw might already be good enough.

  115. 115.

    Keith G

    Regarding team playing styles, it seems that Portugal has had more attacks where they have had more players moving through the penalty area than the US has had. Is that the way we roll? I find that worrying.

  119. 119.

    JPL

    So since I’m at least a minute ahead, I’ll refrain from posting when someone scores. Our goalie is pretty good though..huh…

  120. 120.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    Only two minutes added? I expected four.

  125. 125.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Keith G:

    It depends upon who we’re playing, what sort of strategy we’re employing. We’re playing this game (and we played the majority of the Ghana game) in a defensive posture. Those last two friendlies we played, though? CHARGE!

  128. 128.

    scav

    I have a long-term weakness for goalies. It seems a nicely judged kind of skillful insanity.

  129. 129.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @scav:

    My high school coach tried to convert me after our excellent keeper (both footy and hockey) graduated. I. Did. Not. Like. Too many knees and toes too close to my torso and face.

  130. 130.

    burnspbesq

    If not for Cameron’s shanked clearance, we’d be feeling pretty good about that half. We had the better of play after the first ten minutes. Zusi and Johnson are going to have their way with Meireles all night.

  131. 131.

    jurassicpork

    Sorry for the offtopic post. I generally try to wait for actual Open Threads. But for anyone who still cares what i have to say about anything, this is my pre-emptive farewell, since it looks as if we won’t survive the summer. Thanks for all the kindnesses and the readership for the last ten years.

  133. 133.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @raven:

    I left you a link at the bottom of the Belgium thread with that ESPN intro/outro music you were asking about.

  134. 134.

    HumboldtBlue

    So what do I do for dinner tonight? I have a fat t-bone, golden taters, shrooms, onion and broccoli and that was my original plan but then my buddy stopped by.

    He gave me some of his ridiculously delicious sausage as well as some of his wife’s tomato sauce which is heavenly and I have fresh bread and some awesome s’ghetti.

    Now I am torn, the onion and shrooms can go with either but it’s a tough decision, almost as tough as to whether Klinsmann will bring on another attacker in the second half

  136. 136.

    carolinadave

    Cameron fortunate not to get a yellow at the end of the first half.
    Portugal’s right side is vulnerable
    Portugal plays too far forward and is ripe for a counterattack.
    USA is the faster team.

    If there is to be a water break in the 2nd half, let the coaches know when it will be.

  137. 137.

    Schlemizel

    @scav:
    My oldest was (is) a hockey tender. The good ones are an odd breed, it comes with the territory. You have to be a bit more cerebral than the folks playing in front of you and it helps if you have short-term memory loss. I imagine it is the same for soccer goalies.

    In hockey – imagine if in your job when something went wrong, even if it was not your fault a red light flashed behind your desk, a huge horn sounded and 18000 people stood & heckled you.

  139. 139.

    Violet

    @HumboldtBlue: I’m making tomato sauce right now! I’ve got an abundance of tomatoes from my garden–so many they’re going bad. Time for some sauce!

  141. 141.

    scav

    @Schlemizel: That and long periods of boredom and personal inactivity when you have to be furiously paying attention to every move of the attention hogs who will suddenly run at you and you have to jump into the exact most dangerous part. And then everything is indeed your fault.

  142. 142.

    gene108

    U.S. is not getting good shots on goal. They take a lot, but a lot of them are not good and the U.S. has not executed at all out of corner kicks against Portugal.

  148. 148.

    Heliopause

    The US back line is error prone. The Portugal back line is just flat out soft. It’s astounding only one goal has been scored so far.

  152. 152.

    Schlemizel

    Anyone else feel the American coach resembles Sterling Holloway? Not exact but like they could be related.

  154. 154.

    Micheline

    I was really hoping that the U.S could win but it doesn’t look like it. Sigh.

  156. 156.

    burnspbesq

    Portugal soundtrack by Dave Edmunds:

    “I hear you knockin, but you can’t come in.”

  169. 169.

    Schlemizel

    @scav:
    There was a huge change in the kids game when he was about 14. They got their asses handed to them. It was like 20-0 & he had made almost 50 saves (really, they didn’t need to resurface half the ice). As they are coming off the ice one of his defensemen said “We could have been in this game if you could make a save” and he was serious. The kid fumed about it for a week but after that he played inside himself much better and became a better tender.

  175. 175.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Baud:

    And it seems as if Beto was screened. He never saw it.

  177. 177.

    Schlemizel

    It is an odd game, soccer. for an hour the US was owning the game but unable to find the net. Then suddenly its tied. Can they get another in the next half hour?

  180. 180.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    Time to start thinking about subs, seeing as Portugal’s about to make their third.

  186. 186.

    Cain

    I feel like I finally took that big shit, that I wanted to take.. thank god it is tied.

  191. 191.

    dmsilev

    @PaulW: If it comes down to goal-differential tie-breakers, Portugal is in trouble. That 4-0 thrashing Germany gave them will hurt a lot.

  193. 193.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Violet:

    They’ve used ’em all. Eder came on for Postigo in the 16th minute.

    We need to get some fresh legs in- a couple of defensive players and Wondolowski, the poacher, up top.

  194. 194.

    Cain

    portugal has up their game a bit. I’m not sure how sustainable it is. U.S. just needs to hold firm.. I’ve been liking their defense.

  195. 195.

    Cain

    I think they are going for the draw, not taking too many chances judging from the behavior.

  212. 212.

    JPL

    I have to go find my dog.. cuz he ran from the room. He’s not use to the momma yellin.

  213. 213.

    Tony J

    And Dempsey does it with a firm bosom! That was coming from a while back. What have Porturonaldo got left?

  216. 216.

    dmsilev

    11 comments in the space of time needed for one GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL by a Univision announcer…

  217. 217.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    Clint Dempsey is now leading the field for the Golden Gut award.

  220. 220.

    Schlemizel

    @JPL:
    yeah, the mrs let out a whoop like I have not heard since our wedding night. I have cat claw marks on my leg that are not gonna heal any time soon.

  221. 221.

    Jay C

    Finaly tuned into the match via the yells coning from the sports bar on the corner… just in time for GOOOAL!!!

    USA! USA!

  226. 226.

    HumboldtBlue

    If you’re wondering why they showed that shot of the three fans dressed as Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman and why they are dressed that way it’s because Dempsey is called “Captain America”

  231. 231.

    Cain

    One thing about world cup I love is the complete lack of commercials… it feels good.

  243. 243.

    Keith G

    BTW this is the very first futbol match that I have watched from beginning to end.

    Or for more than 10 min. actually.

  272. 272.

    carolinadave

    all Bradley had to do was control the ball. He couldn’t. We lost the advance thanks to the final possession. Team played great. They deserved better.

  273. 273.

    Tony J

    What kind of cross was that? Not a fan of anyone who ever wore the colours of Mankychester, but Ronaldo really is – that – good.

  281. 281.

    Schlemizel

    So both Germny & the US go through with a draw. Why don’t those two teams sit down to a nice Bavarian beer or two and agree that nil-nil works for everyone?

  285. 285.

    HumboldtBlue

    Fuck.

    Fuck, fuck.

    Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

  286. 286.

    Cacti

    Well, should be an interesting final set of matches in Group G.

    Come what may, Team USA has made itself matter in the group stage and should be proud.

  288. 288.

    Schlemizel

    @carolinadave:
    I’m not sure I agree with you. Yeah, they dominated the game (I’d like to hear the time of control, I bet it was heavily USA). But they looked like crap too often on D.

  289. 289.

    Cain

    Well done, Portugal. That was a squeaker. It’s too bad we couldn’t hold it together long enough. Us vs Germany.. god we are going to get killed. :(

  297. 297.

    Cacti

    Ronaldo and Messi have shown why it’s great to have one all-world footballer on your side. They always give you a magician’s chance of pulling a rabbit out of their pocket when the match seems over.

  298. 298.

    MazeDancer

    All the tweets from around the globe finally convinced me to tune into a World Cup match – last minutes of this one. Have many Twitter friends from around the world who are completely obsessed with World Cup to the point of abandoning all over dialogue. So finally decided to give it a look.

    Even I, who am not a sports person, felt enough to spontaneously yell NOOOOO when Portugal scored in the final seconds.

    Watching was fun. Felt like a competition not a violent thing. Realize these sound like completely absurd and naive comments to you experts on this thread. But on a marketing level, it’s interesting to watch Twitter change the world. And the US become part of the globe’s favorite sport.

  299. 299.

    PaulW

    Saw a twitter post noting USA team had “Prince Obyren’d” that last-second tie… it does feel a bit like our heads got crushed, yes?

  300. 300.

    Hill Dweller

    They were 30 seconds from advancing to the round of 16. All Bradley had to do was control the ball and/or kick it out of bounds/down field. He’s sucked in both matches.

  302. 302.

    Mike E

    You shoulda heard Tommy Smyth on the radio, putting a fork in Portugal, packing their bags for them and putting a bow on the game before the cross by CR7. Then, sticking the shiv in Bradley. I really could picture his bare ass thru the speakers.

  303. 303.

    Cacti

    @MazeDancer:

    All the tweets from around the globe finally convinced me to tune into a World Cup match – last minutes of this one.

    I was utterly indifferent to football/soccer until I had a chance to live abroad in Brazil. Their enthusiasm was infectious and made me want to learn more about it. Eventually it won me over.

  304. 304.

    scav

    @Cacti: Weren’t we treated to some unexpected quick rabbits popping up elsewhere during these games? Sometimes bang / bang. All in all, having an exciting game, indeed series of games, might do more long-term for Futbal in the US than a simple win. Or at least there is reason to hope so.

  305. 305.

    Onkel Fritze

    @burnspbesq: Don’t really want to see that. Germany ‘figured it out’ in ’82 and the blowback still hasn’t stopped (Btw next round might feature Germany-Algeria). If Ghana and Portugal tie, the US is through no matter what. If Portugal wins, it’s a question of goal difference.

  306. 306.

    Cain

    @MazeDancer:

    World Cup is the only sport I follow now. the toher ones just seem so long and complicated. This just feels so good and the energy of the crowd and general ambiance really makes it worth watching.

  307. 307.

    Cain

    @Cacti:

    I was utterly indifferent to football/soccer until I had a chance to live abroad in Brazil. Their enthusiasm was infectious and made me want to learn more about it. Eventually it won me over.

    I was in Barcelona when 2006 World Cup was going on. OMG, I have never seen so much energy and excitement. It was truly spectacular. It was like being part of something really grand. Like the end of a successful revolution or something. It was just amazing. When the French won, they took over Barcelona city center, singing patriotic songs and what not. It was amazing! I really felt caught up in it.

  308. 308.

    burnspbesq

    Tweet of the Match fron the Guardian:

    “As a Brit, cursing Cameron comes naturally.”

  311. 311.

    carolinadave

    @Hill Dweller:

    Yes, sadly our best player has had his worst 2 matches, but the team has 4 points. I gladly take the 4 points, and if the inverse was true, (Bradley played great, but we are eliminated) I’ll take the results.
    Great match. played in a wet sauna. Draw with DE, and we’re #2 and play BE. Thursday will be a great game day to watch at Noon?!?

  312. 312.

    MazeDancer

    @Cacti: People of every persuasion seem to love World Cup so much. And tweet about it so much. Hard not to at least look

    @Cain:
    The clock just keeps on ticking. And there aren’t commercials every 3 minutes. It is a happy feeling game.

    Again, realize this sounds like someone describing the sky as blue to sports fans. But it’s fascinating to watch people on Twitter who, like me, are not sports followers, find themselves at least curious about what enraptures the whole globe.

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