Thank you to my friend @EWErickson for hosting #RSG14 in Texas and for all that you do for conservatives across US. pic.twitter.com/ptUlyuaOil
— Rick Perry (@GovernorPerry) August 8, 2014
Gosh, I can remember when RSG, aka “Tragic the Gathering” was just a most excellent TBogg pigbladder-target. Where is Perry’s hand reaching? — one hopes it’s just EWE’s wallet he’s after…
Speaking of Perry-tinnitus, Washington Monthly‘s Ed Kilgore is less than charmed by the charm offensive:
This morning in coping with a slow news day I read with interest and with some amusement a long, long, re-assessment of Rick Perry at The Atlantic by veteran reporter Michelle Cottle. She clearly buys, and helps propagate, the idea that we’re seeing a “new” Rick Perry who’s learned the right lessons from the debacle of his 2012 campaign, and is planning a sensible, economics-focused presidential campaign, leaving the fire-breathing to his Texas colleague Ted Cruz. But a major portion of the article reflects Cottle’s complete and admitted surrender to Perry’s “charm.” I don’t know if it’s in compensation for her newfound fondness for ol’ Rick, or just a matter of journalistic honesty, but she ends what was turning into a puff-piece with a brutal assessment of his actual chances in 2016…
If I had to guess, Perry strategy involves becoming the fallback choice for conservatives if the 2016 nomination fight becomes a demolition derby like the last two GOP contests. That means first of all erasing the impression of being a raging yahoo that his last campaign created. Hence the Charm Offensive, and also a few sly efforts to sound a bit less, well, dumb (Cottle reports that “winsome” is a “favorite word of his,” probably not a usage he picked up as Yell Leader at A&M)…
Did someone say… Winsome?
Violet
What’s up with that older white lady on the left side of the picture who is either clapping or praying while watching those two shake hands? WTF?
Edit: Also, that’s a lot of white people in one room. Scary.
dmsilev
“Rick Perry: Not _quite_ as stupid as you remember from 2012”
Winning slogan. Who should I send the bill to?
KG
Ok, so let me get this straight, the GOP has this collection of w(e)iners as possible candidates in 2016:
Mitt “told ya so” Romney
Rick “president of free Texas” Perry
Ted “see we have minorities too” Cruz
Chris “the outlaw jersey whale” Christie
Sarah “four years is a long time” Palin
Rick “a stick up every ass” Santorum
Mike “the bass guitar pastor” Huckabee
Newt “no really it’s my turn guys” Gingrich
Rand “Aqua Buddha but not really” Paul
Jeb “in case of emergency break glass for” Bush
That’s their field? And against that terrifying lot, the Dems are really going to nominate Hillary?
Can we just declare the 2016 election void in advance and go with Lewis Black’s idea
MattF
Speaking of Carol Burnett, I saw her, long ago, in her Broadway hit ‘Once Upon A Mattress,’ belting out “I’m Shy.” Just great.
And I now have a mental image of Rick Perry on stage singing ‘Not A Moron’. It’s those new glasses he’s wearing.
Ghost of Joe Liebling's Dog
Cottle reports that “winsome” is a “favorite word of his,” probably not a usage he picked up as Yell Leader at A&M.
Ever the optimist, he may think it’s the opposite of “lose some”.
Violet
Every time I see Rick Perry I just think “dumbass”. That’s what he looks like to me. He’s trying really hard to look smrat, what with his librarian glasses and all. But it just looks like he’s trying, not that he’s succeeding.
If you’re a well-connected good ol’ boy from Texas, Rick Perry is probably a dream come true. For the rest of us who aren’t that, he seems like a nightmare.
@KG: That collection of heroes just seems like “Dumb and Dumber: The Dumbening.”
BGinCHI
Rick Perry is what idiots think a smarter-than-idiots person looks like.
The Atlantic is a shitheap of a magazine, too, btw.
Ruckus
@Ghost of Joe Liebling’s Dog:
LTFOL
MattF
@BGinCHI: In fact, I disagree with that. I think Perry’s going for the ‘one of us’ vote.
Ruckus
@KG:
I thought it was –
Rick, stuck up every ass, Santorum.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
@Violet:
If that wasn’t intentional, it should have been.
The Thin Black Duke
Remember, ladies and gentlemen–Rick Perry is the doofus who lost to Mitt Romney in a debate.
Violet
@MattF: In that sense, is he trying to be George W. Bush 2.0? Governor of Texas. “Want to have a beer with him.” Owns a ranch. Etc.
Violet
@Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant): It was intentional. Thanks for noticing!
raven
@efgoldman: murdeous
Anoniminous
winsome, adj. attractive or appealing in appearance or character.
um
No.
Just plain & fancy no.
Violet
@efgoldman: Didn’t the “new Nixon” win?
Dog On Porch
Rick Perry– victim.
Of what?
Of Dan Quayle-itis (the delusion one is made of presidential timber).
SiubhanDuinne
@MattF:
I saw her in that role in September 1959 on Broadway. Had just arrived back from my first-ever trip to Europe and we had a day or two in NYC before heading home to Chicago.
MomSense
Has anyone seen Perry and Mr. Potato Head in the same place at the same time?
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vgZ0bCmuN7Y/TQeLrf-Cy0I/AAAAAAAAAbM/vG_g0Dwt5Ak/s1600/MrPotatoHead.jpg
Jewish Steel
@The Thin Black Duke: So did Obama for that matter.
SiubhanDuinne
I would like for all y’all to look carefully at that picture of Ewick Son of Ewick, especially Ewick Son of Ewick’s chin. That is one unfortunate (or very happy) photographic angle, getting a woman with bubble hair the exact same color as Ewick Son of Ewick’s chin positioned so as to look like a terrible excrescence growing out of Ewick Son of Ewick’s chin.
(Disclaimer: I am not a chinnist. Some of my best friends have chins.)
Josie
I read Cottle’s article a couple of days ago and could not believe how soft she went on the Guv. As I have mentioned before, he is firmly ensconced in the bubble that is Texas Republican politics and hasn’t a clue how impossible it will be for him to succeed nationally. The last election he won in Texas was only because an independent third person was in the mix. Incidentally, Wendy Davis has moved into single digit territory against her opponent for Texas governor. If you have any extra coin, give some to her or Leticia Van de Putte (lt. gov.) or Battleground Texas. We are still fighting.
WereBear
Rick Perry is not nearly as entertaining as this previous Texas Governor.
Maybe he should get a hillbilly band. In fact, I’m surprised he hasn’t already.
raven
Speaking of creeps from Texas, Johnny Football just took his 1st snap.
Bex
@KG: You forgot Michelle “corn dog” Bachmann.
Debbie
@Violet:
Every time I see Perry, I’m reminded of his famous “Oops” during that debate. Here’s the slogan: Oops in 2016.
Josie
@raven: Not your favorite person?
BillinGlendaleCA
@MomSense: Rick Perry has “Goodhair” which Mr. Potato Head lacks.
WaterGirl
I have watched a few episodes of Maverick lately, and I’m finding that it holds up well. Okay, the music is classic from that ear, and it’s cheesy, but it’s easy to see why it was so popular. James Garner was really great, he was handsome and charming and clever and didn’t take any shit, but fighting was always a last resort.
One of the episodes was very fun; it had Brett and Bart and Pappy. Classic!
WaterGirl
@MomSense: I think theres’s a strong resemblance!
Phil Perspective
@MomSense: I thought Mr. Potatohead was Tim Russert.
KG
@Ruckus: I see what you did there, and approve
@Bex: I just don’t see ol’ dead eye as a… a… um… serious? candidate
WaterGirl
@Phil Perspective: Who says Mr. PotatoHead can’t be all things to all people?
Phil Perspective
@Josie: Didn’t Cottle used to work for The New Republic?
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
My late ex-husband also had a beard, for the same reason: “A multitude of chins.”
Josie
@Phil Perspective: I just looked it up and you are correct. I was not aware of that.
Roger Moore
@SiubhanDuinne:
I don’t think the singular is the correct form to use when discussing Erick bin Erick’s chins.
BillinGlendaleCA
@efgoldman:
Jeff Greenfield, who worked on the RFK campaign, wrote a book called “And Then Everything Changed” with a chapter on just that counterfactual. He covered several others: JFK getting killed before taking office and Jerry Ford not making the “Eastern Europe is not under Soviet control” comment in the 1976 debates.
Anoniminous
@efgoldman:
That was the election that taught me the virtues of pragmatism.
Edited
Roger Moore
@Phil Perspective:
No. That’s Tim Russet.
KG
@efgoldman: fun fact, Reagan actually got more popular votes than Nixon in the 68 GOP primaries
Also, I wonder what happened if Nixon wins in 1960.
SiubhanDuinne
@Roger Moore:
It probably isn’t, but “kind and gracious” is my default ;-)
SiubhanDuinne
@Roger Moore:
What you did there, I saw.
MomSense
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Me thinks Rick’s hair is a little too good–if you know what I mean.
http://ronsrescuedtreasures.com/Mr-Potato-Head-Black-Hair-Piece-2-12-Long-P1586021.aspx
Quaker in a Basement
Where is Perry’s hand reaching?
You give Erick WAY too much credit.
White Trash Liberal
Perry was too “soft” on immigrants in the past. He won’t make it far in the primaries. Ewick will stick a shiv in between his ribs before he has a chance.
RSA
@Roger Moore:
I know this is just about appearances, but it seems strange that Perry looks better than a former TV personality who’s 25 years younger.
Mike in NC
Rick Perry: still a wingnut asswipe who’d abolish three federal cabinets if he could even name three. Makes Dubya look like fucking Einstein by comparison. Thanks Villagers!
Matt McIrvin
I think any Republican has a better chance than we think in 2016. Because it’s going to be a war election about who will be a big swinging dick to ISIS and Putin, and we’re already seeing the “Democrats are wimps” meme ramping up in the media.
Roger Moore
@SiubhanDuinne:
Then perhaps Balloon-Juice isn’t the place for you. Vicious and snarky are the defaults around here.
FlipYrWhig
@Matt McIrvin: except that plays right into the hands of Hillary Clinton, whose rep is hawkish. Years depicting her as a ballbuster just might backfire spectacularly.
Ken
“Kids: Winners Don’t Do Drugs!”
SiubhanDuinne
@Roger Moore:
If you are evicting me, I will go kindly and graciously.
Keith G
@Matt McIrvin:
I don’t think that the inclination toward war will play out as you imagine….so no…I am not sure how far above the mean level of support (of the last few elections) that a GOPer would earn. I do not think that it will be much, if any.
If the GOP take the Senate as it looks that they will do, they will have to actually step up to the plate and play a role on our governance. The party of “No” will have to became a party that will be saying “Yes” to many interesting things that will make 2016 even more challenging to them. EG, Rand Paul would have a much easier time of it as a minority Senator.
rikyrah
@Matt McIrvin:
Except for outside of the Republicans…who the hell wants America to send troops anywhere?
Seriously?
Because that’s the only thing the GOP knows how to do.
I’ll take the Democrats chances on saying
‘All the GOP knows how to do is send our young men and women into war’
gocart mozart
@KG:
Mitt “told ya so” Romney [not gonna run]
Rick “president of free Texas” Perry
Ted “see we have minorities too” Cruz
Chris “the outlaw jersey whale” Christie
Sarah “four years is a long time” Palin [Campaigning is work ,not gonna run]
Rick “a stick up every ass” Santorum [I came in second, it’s my turn to win right?]
Mike “the bass guitar pastor” Huckabee
Newt “no really it’s my turn guys” Gingrich [Not gonna run]
Rand “Aqua Buddha but not really” Paul
Jeb “in case of emergency break glass for” Bush
You forgot Ben “politics aint brain surgery” Carson
Keith G
@efgoldman: You miss the point. As the majority party of Congress, they get to do things that count. The wonderful thing about Paul Ryan’s views on the budget is that they got discussed in public and those discussion were reported to us groundlings.
Now imagine that scenario on steroids. Ted Cruz as a committee chair. Yee–fucking–haw.
Nothing would force them, per se, but their actions, crazy as they may be, will be viewed as the actions of the majority party of the US Congress and will be evaluated as such.
I do not see that as being a great help to their nominee in 2916.
amk
texas twit won’t survive past iowa straw poll.
Keith G
@Keith G: And yes, 2916 is a bit too far away to be sure what will unfold.
Glocksman
@Roger Moore:
It’s a little known fact, but Tim Russert is a Simplot® potato.
As for what brand (heh) Governor Goodhair would be, I have no idea.
Joel Hanes
@BGinCHI:
The Atlantic is a shitheap
It has always been pretentious, but at one time at least some of its pretensions were justified. They’ve published many great things over the decades. During the two years I had to live in Army barracks, newstand copies of The Atlantic and Harpers and The New Yorker really helped keep me connected to reality.
I miss magazines.
Anne Laurie
@Joel Hanes:
Harper’s is still pretty damned good. I read it cover-to-cover every issue, and very rarely feel my intelligence is being insulted. The present owner’s stubborn resistance to the online age notwithstanding!
Hal
Rick Perry and SE Cupp should do a commercial together on how to look smarter wearing glasses. Are those even prescription?
mdblanche
Trying to re-brand Rick Perry as winsome puts me more in mind of the reprise of “Lovely.”
Fred
Recall Rick Perry’s cameo in “Man of the House”. There he was with Tommy Lee Jones, in his own office, with a director, pro crew, a scripted line to deliver and possibility of retakes. He looked like a lost boy who wandered into someone’s wedding reception.
The man is dumb and clueless. He makes George W Bush look like a Rhodes Scholar with charisma. No doubt he’s got a good chance of getting into the Oval Office.
Matt McIrvin
@rikyrah: The stories about how much worse ISIS is than any enemy we’ve seen before suggest to me that somebody is trying very hard to build support for another massive ground invasion of Iraq. I suspect Obama will not do it, and the 2016 candidates will be scrambling to be the biggest war advocate. Hillary Clinton will try to separate herself from Obama’s supposed fecklessness, and the people will be motivated to prefer a real Republican instead.
Liberals I know are already starting to take the bait. Not advocacy for an invasion yet, but the sense that these guys are somehow different, worse than al Qaeda, worse than anybody, and something must be done to eradicate them.
Epicurus
Many years ago, I saw David Letterman introduce Cate Blanchett as “winsome.” I agreed wholeheartedly at the time, and still think she’s gorgeous. Rick Perry is NOT winsome. I’ll not even comment on the rest of the occupants of the clown car, other than to say it is my belief (and fervent hope) that not one of them will be inaugurated in January, 2017.