Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Tick tock motherfuckers!

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

In my day, never was longer.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Consistently wrong since 2002

All your base are belong to Tunch.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Tuesday Evening Open Thread

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My sister the world traveler encountered this scrappy crustacean in a toilet in the South Pacific:

(null)

It was flushed three times (not by my sister) and kept reappearing. The persistent little crab was reported to the hotel manager, who was sanguine about toilet crustaceans but horrified by the possibility it would be Facebooked.

I once unwittingly sat on a toilet containing a Cuban tree frog. Have you ever found a crab, frog or other unexpected creature in the pot?

Feel free to discuss other topics. Open thread.

Reader Interactions

115Comments

  3. 3.

    Amir Khalid

    No. But there was this one time I couldn’t put my foot in my sneaker. When I gave up and put the sneaker down, a frog jumped out.

    As for your sister’s encounter in the toilet, where in the South Pacific did it happen?

  5. 5.

    The Dangerman

    Manson’s fiance wanted his corpse for a display.

    Jeb releases emails with private information.

    Crabs in crappers.

    This day can’t get any more weird. Can it?

  8. 8.

    Buddy H

    About twenty years ago, a few days before Easter, I was at work. I went to the men’s room and a Peep was floating in the toilet.

    Ever since that day, I have not eaten a single peep. Simply can’t bring myself to do it.

    By the way, they float very nicely, like little yellow boats.

  12. 12.

    Iowa Old Lady

    @Buddy H: Was it one of the ducky peeps?

    ETA: Oh wait, they’re chicks, aren’t they? Or once in a while, bunnies. They’re all vile.

  13. 13.

    ultraviolet thunder

    That’s an alarming toilet crustacean.
    I found a scorpion under a hotel desk in Mexico. At least I think it was a scorpion. I was moving so fast an instant later that it was Dopplering into the infrared.

    My wife found a snail last week on a bunch of Brussels sprouts. She named it Blaze and keeps it in a jar. They grow fast on celery tops and spinach leaves.

  16. 16.

    Pogonip

    Found a rat in the toilet once in Chicago (I’m told they swim up through the pipes). That was exciting. I live in a biggish town now but it has never happened again, thank God.

  17. 17.

    Elizabelle

    Jon Stewart leaving later this year.

    Brian Williams suspended from NBC for six months without pay.

    NYTimes:

    Lester Holt will continue to substitute for Mr. Williams now, but finding a permanent successor will be a major problem for the network, which was not anticipating having to replace the anchor of its “Nightly News’’ broadcast for some time. In December, Mr. Williams signed a new five-year contract reported to be worth $10 million a year.

  20. 20.

    Mike in NC

    Brian Williams suspended 6 months w/o pay. As if he needed the money.

    ETA – Elizabelle beat me by 45 seconds.

  24. 24.

    Warren Terra

    I once unwittingly sat on a toilet containing a Cuban tree frog.

    This sounds like one of the CIA plots to kill Castro, along with poisoned cigars and booby-trapped conch shells.

  31. 31.

    Pogonip

    @ultraviolet thunder: My brother was stung by a scorpion at Fort Hood and said it wasn’t much worse than a wasp sting. I have been told that big scary scorpions aren’t too dangerous, it’s the little ones that can put you in the hospital.

    My brother is a Scorpio, we always thought the scorpion should have given him a pass out of professional courtesy.

  33. 33.

    Betty Cracker

    @kc: I guess it’s an individual thing; I would definitely make sure the crab was gone before alighting, but the idea of a crab in the pot per se doesn’t freak me out. Now snakes coming up the toilet or dropping out of faucets — that freaks me right the fuck out. And a rat, heaven forfend.

  34. 34.

    Warren Terra

    @kc:

    Seriously, how does a crab get in a toilet? Do the sewer pipes discharge right into the sea?

    I’d hardly be surprised if they did. Famously, Victoria, BC discharges its sewer waste (untreated, save for removing the largest solids) less than a mile offshore (and into the Strait of Juan de Fuca, not even into the open ocean) – and I’d rather think the capital city of British Columbia is likely to have rather more rigurous regulation and a LOT more money for infrastructure than anyplace in Fiji, and a lovely resort hotel is likely to be well away from centers of infrastructure development.

  35. 35.

    buddy h

    I’m not sure what’s going on with the Downton Abbey dog. Last episode, she was just lying there. At first I thought Thomas fed her one of his anti-geh pills (after all, he did lock her in a shed once) but now I don’t know.

  38. 38.

    jharp

    I suspect I caught scabies from a toilet seat circa 1979 whilst in college.

    Itchingest experience of my life.

  41. 41.

    TaMara (BHF)

    @Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant): 28 comments in before someone said that and you beat me to it by moments.

    Black widow in my sneaker. I felt the web first (they are distinctive), ran screaming from the room. Scared the crap out of the dogs. Immediately called my husband (now ex) at work to come home and fix it.

    I’m a little unnerved by the little devils. Though fine with other spiders.

  46. 46.

    gogol's wife

    @buddy h:

    The commenters on the New York Times blog were speculating that she had to be written out because of her name (Isis). This was debunked by other commenters. I must say I’m not happy about it. Kill off any people you want, but keep the dog.

    I have no idea why I’m reading this alarming thread.

  51. 51.

    ThresherK

    IamnevergoingsouthofCapeMayagain,IamnevergoingsouthofCapeMayagain,IamnevergoingsouthofCapeMayagain.

  53. 53.

    Elizabelle

    @Mike E: I wish they’d make Lester Holt the nightly anchor. He’s good, and trustworthy.

    @Mike in NC: Network news is a farce, and people don’t read good newspapers enough. I am seriously worried about Stewart leaving before a major election year. Although perhaps someone or someones even better will fill that gap.

  54. 54.

    Pogonip

    @jharp: No, thank God. I know a lady who got them from a visiting teenager’s backpack. They’re expensive to treat and tons of work–everything washable has to be laundered in hot water and run through a hot dryer, or dry cleaned, then sealed in plastic bags.

  56. 56.

    ultraviolet thunder

    @jharp:

    How about bedbugs?

    Anyone had the misfortune?

    I’d ought to have, staying in hotels 150+ nights a year. But nope. I stay in decent places 99% of the time but you never know.
    I suspect bedbugs are overhyped by the media.

  57. 57.

    buddy h

    @jharp: Not yet, but I live in constant fear.

    I suspected something was biting me a few months ago. My wife put some new sheets on that she’d had in storage. I took 90% rubbing alcohol and wiped it all around the bed frame. I even put dryer sheets under the mattress (not sure if that’s an old wives’ tale). I haven’t had any more bites, so maybe I scared them away.

    I can’t seem to find food-grade diatonacous earth. They say that kills them.

  60. 60.

    Elizabelle

    @gogol’s wife: Haven’t kept up with Downton Abbey, but perhaps Isis is being naturally aged out, since she would be getting old. Perchance there shall be another dog o the manor.

  62. 62.

    Betty Cracker

    @buddy h: They’re going to kill her off, I bet, and that sucks because she is by far the most admirable and intelligent character on the show. But she’s got to be pretty old, right? I mean in Downton years?

    @raven: Oh. My. God!

    @Josie: I’m not sure that’s rare enough to count as unexpected, at least in these parts! But I’m sure it was horrifying nonetheless.

  66. 66.

    Loneoak

    @buddy h: Look in garden stores for diatomaceous earth. “Food grade” doesn’t matter for what you want. I’ve successfully used the garden stuff to de-flea my dog and carpets multiple times.

  67. 67.

    JPL

    The master bath in my old house was on the third floor because of a walk out basement. While taking a shower one time, I noticed a Chameleon sticking his head out of the drain. I really did mean to tell the spouse at the time but forgot. Long story short, the next morning there were shrieks.

  68. 68.

    JPL

    Another bathroom story might be from “Billy Bathgate” Although my memory is fuzzy it seems there was as story about lightening striking and the electrical shock coming up through the toilet.

  71. 71.

    buddy h

    @Loneoak: I saw some non-food-grade diatomaceous earth in a hardware store, but I read the fine print, and it seemed rather unsafe to put around my bed. “do not breathe fumes, keep aways from pets” etc.

    so the garden version of diatomaceous is safe? Maybe the hardware brand I saw was for industrial use or something. I didn’t buy it because I don’t want to kill our cat, or ourselves.

    But I think if I ever got bedbugs, I’d go insane.

  72. 72.

    gogol's wife

    @Betty Cracker:

    Some people at the NYT blog were claiming that there was initially a different dog, Pharoah, but I have no recollection of that. If Isis is the same dog, she’d be at least 12 years old.

  73. 73.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Warren Terra: Nobody in BC wants to pay any taxes, that’s why their infrastructure is for shit. If Alberta is Texas North then BC is Florida North, beautiful weather but stuck on stupid.

  74. 74.

    jharp

    @ultraviolet thunder:

    Bedbugs can be in nice hotels too. Not naming names but know of two.

    The bedbugs are out there. Myself and two friends can attest to 3 encounters.

    And we’re pretty highly functioning people.

  75. 75.

    Another Holocene Human

    I’ve never heard a populace whine so much about taxes in my fucking life and I lived in Massachusetts during the “tax revolts” (disingenuous at best).

  76. 76.

    buddy h

    @Betty Cracker: “They’re going to kill her off, I bet, and that sucks because she is by far the most admirable and intelligent character on the show. But she’s got to be pretty old, right? I mean in Downton years?”

    I agree. My wife chuckles at the beginning of every episode, because she remembers the one time I stood up, turned my back to her, then grinned over my shoulder, imitating Isis in the opening credits.

    It’s funny how Lord Grantham always thinks of her first, before the rest of the family. When that art expert was making moves on his wife, he was more outraged that he was flirting with the dog.

  77. 77.

    ultraviolet thunder

    Not sure how I feel about Jon Stewart. When a very popular news and satire program takes a lot of its material from news programs we have a big problem and a comedian isn’t going to solve it. More and better news is a preferable solution.
    It will be interesting to see what he does next. I’m hoping for documentary films.

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    Everyone here already heard the story of my face-to-face encounter with a black widow spider that woke my poor husband up out of a sound sleep. Apparently a spider the size of my thumbnail is considered “small.” Fuckers.

    I don’t think I would have been super freaked out by a crab, though I’m not fond of them (too spider-like). Scoop it out and toss it outside.

  79. 79.

    jharp

    @buddy h:

    Wasting your time with rubbing alcohol.

    Do an extremely thorough search to start. And the bites are the key. If you are getting bitten keep on it.

  82. 82.

    qwerty42

    Well, a friend had a rat try to come out of one. She blocked the door with a brick. And then there was this reported in Jezebel. And there was the scorpion in one of my bedroom slippers — the scorpions here have a sting more like a bee’s, not like some of those others. I thought there was a stone in the slipper — a sharp one, but I did have a sock on.

  83. 83.

    buddy h

    @Roger Moore: Yeah, I knew I was misspelling it when I wrote it. I have the proper spelling in a note in my winter coat. None of the local stores carry it. I’ll probably go the amazon route.

  84. 84.

    jl

    Thanks for link and dire warning about Cuban tree frogs.

    Is there a Cuban tree frog ass-protector if they try to jump out of the bowl and attach themselves?

    Has Cuba been covertly waging Cuban-tree-frog-war against us, while we were wasting our time worrying about stupid internet attacks, and our new Cuban policy is really a surrender?? (thanks, Obama!!)

  87. 87.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    Open thread material: pronunciations of assorted shibboleth names:

    John Cowper Powys (cooper poh-iss)

    Marcel Proust (proost)

    Ayn Rand (well-fare recipient)

    I nearly hurt myself laughing.

    Did you get seated raven? We understand you’re limited to Y/N until the conclusion of the case.

  88. 88.

    dr. luba

    Little lizards/chameleons are pretty much standard in showers in the tropics. You see them all the time.

    When I was in the DR visiting a friend in the Peace Corps, I stayed at a house with quite the fancy outhouse. Nice curtained door, carpeting, proper toilet seat, the works. And something fuzzy that tickled my bottom. I strongly suspect it was a tarantula (they are harmless but scary looking), but didn’t look….

  89. 89.

    beth

    I have a friend whose clothes dryer stopped working. They pulled it out from the wall and found a dead 6 ft long snake clogging up the lint duct.

  91. 91.

    Botsplainer

    @Elizabelle:

    In December, Mr. Williams signed a new five-year contract reported to be worth $10 million a year.

    Think how many real life journalists could have been hired were he to give up 60% of that.

  92. 92.

    burnspbesq

    @Amir Khalid:

    Glad to see you posting. Was afraid the shock of seeing Balotelli score (a critical match-winning goal, no less) might have killed you.

  93. 93.

    Elizabelle

    @Botsplainer: Yeah. The networks might do better if it wasn’t all “high paid” talent laughing it up with those they’re supposed to be covering.

    Does the BBC do this? Other respected news broadcasts around the world?

  95. 95.

    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)

    @jl:

    IIRC, Betty is in fact Queen of the Tree Frogs but refuses to accept the crown. They appear from all over to pay tribute to her and can’t understand why she keeps running and screaming.

    (See if you can Google to find the story of the time a frog attached itself to her boob. It’s a classic.)

  96. 96.

    Fort Geek

    Not in a toilet, but in 2011 I bought an in-window air conditioner. Within a month, some little red-eyed tree frog moved into the outside half of the unit and croaked at me at random times of the day or night, almost always when I was trying to sleep.

    LOUD little bastard. Nothing I did would make him leave or stop, including me pouring lemon juice on him.

    I take the AC unit down in winter; for 2012, before setting it up I opened the cabinet and put 1/4″ carpenter’s mesh over all the openings. Problem solved!

  100. 100.

    Lymie

    For our Australia friends, this was in play when I was an exchange student (OK, my dad was on sabbatical, even harder to explain)

    Since I can’t post links google red back on the toilet seat

    random is my mo

  101. 101.

    Monkeyfister

    While working at Interlochen Academy for the Arts, I found a chipmunk in the pot. Half frozen, half drowned, I fished the little fella out of his drink of doom, wrapped him in some clean shop rags, and warmed him in the sun.

    He revived, and hung out at the Scene Shop all Summer long.

  104. 104.

    PaulW

    @David Koch:

    Poor Jon Stewart – working a couple hours a day, 4 days a week, with 8 weeks vacation, at age 51 was just toooooo much for him.

    There’s only so much bullsh-t you can shovel in a lifetime, and nobody should be forced to watch Fox Not-News forever…

  106. 106.

    TriassicSands

    Rats. And lots of ’em. Who knew that my toilet bowl would be a vacation destination for rats?

  109. 109.

    Chris T.

    Bonvolu alsendi la pordiston? Lausajne estas rano en mia bideo!
    Could you please send for the hall porter? There appears to be a frog in my bidet!

  110. 110.

    sm*t cl*de

    I once unwittingly sat on a toilet containing a Cuban tree frog.

    You seem to be assuming that the tree frog was there before your crap.

  111. 111.

    sm*t cl*de

    Look in garden stores for diatomaceous earth

    Just tell them you’re making your own dynamite.

  112. 112.

    maurinsky

    Have you ever found a crab, frog or other unexpected creature in the pot?

    Only in my nightmares.

  115. 115.

    S-Curve

    During a 3am visit to our bathroom one night, my wife discovered a small white frog on the toilet seat. When it jumped at her. Wife’s heart rate is still elevated months later.

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