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All hail the time of the bunny!

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

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They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

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Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

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You are here: Home / Worst Reference Point Ever

Worst Reference Point Ever

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MSNBC just had a report on the amount of marijuana sold in Colorado last year, and told us that the 833 stores sold a total of 20 tons of weed. They then decided that the viewers needed something to visualize to understand how much 20 tons of weed was, so they flashed to a picture of…

20tons

Three elephants. Not those actual elephants above there, but three elephants. That was helpful, wasn’t it? Because looking at those three elephants, you totally understand how much 20 tons of weed looks like, because whenever Americans are trying to visualize weights and measures, we keep a handy copy of our avoirdupois to elephant conversion scale by our side. Just a couple months ago my doctor told me I could benefit by losing a little weight, and I asked him how much, and he told me about 1/20,000th an elephant.

Personally, I think something like this would have been more helpful:

20tonsofweed

And even that would not be really helpful, because it is context free. If you don’t know how much a “dose” of weed is (*COUGH COUGH* MAUREEN DOWD), you wouldn’t be able to compare it to the total amount sold. Up next on MSNBC, a visualization of our budget using flash animations of groups of hedgehogs and how much popcorn a child eats before age 16.

Reader Interactions

140Comments

  1. 1.

    Germy Shoemangler

    Some billionaire somewhere probably has an elephant-skeleton bong.

    And I just read this:

    NEW YORK- New York’s Attorney General is accused of tapping Donald Trump’s family for cash.
    The New York Post reports the state’s ethics watchdog launched an investigation into whether Eric Schneiderman illegally solicited campaign contributions from Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, and her husband, while Schneiderman’s office was investigating “The Donald’s” for-profit school.
    The paper also says Ivanka and other executives at the trump organizations have been subpoenaed. Schneiderman’s office has not yet commented.

  3. 3.

    Lee Rudolph

    Up next on MSNBC, a visualization of our budget using flash animations of groups of hedgehogs.

    I would totally watch that. In fact, that’s about the only reason I’d even consider watching MSNBC.

  4. 4.

    Amir Khalid

    Wait, wait … Is that Asian or African elephants? Male or female? Adult or juvenile?

  7. 7.

    Heliopause

    The one that always amuses me is using football fields as a reference point for distance, as in, “Alpha Centauri is 4.37 light years distant, or the equivalent of 377 trillion football fields.”

  9. 9.

    BGinCHI

    24 hour cable news is just a delivery medium for stupidity while they wait for the next terrorist attack.

  10. 10.

    The Moar You Know

    24 hour cable news is just a delivery medium for stupidity while they wait for the next terrorist attack.

    @BGinCHI: Congrats. You’re now in the running for “most truthful statement ever written.”

  13. 13.

    Punchy

    My favorite is when they make weight comparisons using 747s. Like I have any fucking clue what a 747 weights, not to mention are they referring to it fully fueled but no baggage, no bags and no fuel, both bags and fuel, or bags, fuel, passengers, and all the snakes?

  14. 14.

    merrinc

    Thank you, John Cole. I am having an extremely shitty day and needed a laugh. (Or something to punch.) Also, BGinCHI wins the thread.

  16. 16.

    Face

    24 hour cable news is just a delivery medium for stupidity while they wait for the next terrorist attack.

    THIS NEEDS TO ENTER THE ROTATING TAGLINE COLLECTION. PUT THIS IN ROTATION, JOHNNIE.

  17. 17.

    max

    Three elephants. Not those actual elephants above there, but three elephants. That was helpful, wasn’t it?

    JOHN! It was metaphorical! Three elephants is the number of important Republicans that will get strokes and die at the thought of all those hippies smoking all that weed!

    C’mon, you know it’s true.

    Personally, I think something like this would have been more helpful:

    A picture of 5 or 6 Ford pickups would have done. Or maybe 6 or 7 Prius. Prii. Priuses. Priiuses.

    max
    [‘Why the fuck are you watching fucking cable TV news anyways? You’re contributing to America’s brain damage imbalance.’]

  18. 18.

    Gin & Tonic

    Um, living in Rhode Island, we are accustomed to seeing “three times the size of Rhode Island” or similar for measures of area. Which means little enough to me, but what of the poor West Virginian who’s never been to RI?

  22. 22.

    kindness

    I myself have a hard time keeping those damn elephants in the bowl when I try to spark it up.

  25. 25.

    Xantar

    @Amir Khalid:

    Next up they’ll be telling us how fast something is going by comparing it to a stampeding elephant. But then we’d have to know the land speed velocity of an African elephant. And without knowing that, you could get cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

  28. 28.

    am

    Using “avoirdupois” in the appropriate context alone should be eligible for some kind of award.

    Well played. That is … like 5,000 sweet gum seed pods-equivalent pounds of awesome.

  29. 29.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    How much is a “dose” of weed reminds me of the great Cheech and Chong piece “Let’s Make a Dope Deal”:

    Host: Bob, for the hundred keees, how many joints are in a lid?
    Bob: Two. I roll big joints man.
    Host: Ours judges say “that’s okay, they roll big joints too!”

  30. 30.

    Bobby B.

    Speaking as an Oregonian all I can say is WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE RABBITS?

  31. 31.

    BGinCHI

    Countdown until Apple’s market cap gets so high we will have to measure everything in iUnits.

    “Gimme a half an iPod Touch of the ham off the bone.”

  32. 32.

    Mike J

    Dad had a angiogram last week, purely diagnostic, they didn’t find any significant blockage, no therapeutic measures taken, everything looked good. Follow up this morning with NP in cardiologist’s office. On checkout he went grey, sweaty, clammy, unable to speak, couldn’t be guided to walk back to exam room. Sort of zombie like. Almost like he had passed out, but was awake. They got him seated, moved him into exam. Very, very low bp (nurse couldn’t find it, doc could.) Ambulance called, take him downstairs, outside building, drive him to other side of building and bring him into er from the outside.

    They’ve got him on fluids, took a few vials of blood (enzyme test I assume, mom didn’t know what they’d ordered.) Mom didn’t notice any lateral asymmetry, but she may not have been in diagnosis mode. No admit yet, but I grabbed a quick shower anticipating heading down. But right now I’m sitting at home waiting to hear something. He’s awake, hooked up to monitors, and all signs look normal.

    Grr.

  34. 34.

    muddy

    At least I suppose that’s an actual weight based on sales? We always used to get a big laugh when local popo would find some plants and say how much the “street value” was. If street value = paying the per/gram price for the entire plant, root ball and all.

  35. 35.

    Captain C

    @mdblanche: It depends on what kind of weed we’re talking about, and how much you’ve smoked before doing the measurement.

  38. 38.

    jl

    @Gin & Tonic: Rhode Island is one of the common units of area in California. San Berdoo County is 16 RIs, Yosemite is one RI, Fresno County is 5 RIs. You hear it all the time.

  39. 39.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    You won’t be able to talk like that when the lion gets here, kid.

  42. 42.

    peach flavored shampoo

    From the pics I’ve seen, I think your doc’s suggestion had a denominator value off by a value of at least 10.

  46. 46.

    Tree With Water

    It just takes seeds, water, and sun to grow grass. Let people grow their own for their own personal use, and the “problem” will have met the solution.

  47. 47.

    peach flavored shampoo

    @BGinCHI: I’m waiting for Apple’s equiv of Google Glass, which will be named iEye, and everyone will be forced by habit to then respond with “Captain!”

  49. 49.

    scav

    I can definitely imagine 100 Otters. Not so sure about elephants, they don’t fit in the overhead compartments.

  52. 52.

    Dan

    My sister has been sending links to stories about Oklahoma trying to get their hand on the Seattle zoo’s elephants. I’m now thinking there’s a lot more to this story. It’s probably a cover for a big pot trade. The Okies want some of that legal weed and 2 elephants = over 13 tons of pot.

  54. 54.

    different-church-lady

    @Dan: Wait, are you suggesting they’re going to smuggle the weed IN the elephants?

  56. 56.

    rikyrah

    tee hee hee

    Breaking News Feed@PzFeedFollow

    BREAKING NEWS: Senate has failed to override the President’s veto of the Keystone XL pipeline.

    1:40 PM – 4 Mar 2015

  58. 58.

    pat

    I’ll always remember that when learning that Pluto was too small to be considered a planet, the NPR person whose name I don’t know said,
    “What’s next, Rhode Island?:

    Well, maybe you had to be there. .

  60. 60.

    NotMax

    The primary difference, of course, is that it is much, much more difficult to keep an elephant lit.

  64. 64.

    different-church-lady

    @pat: “The United States of America is a country consisting of 49 states and one dwarf state…”

  73. 73.

    beltane

    I actually like Rhode Island. When I feel like living someplace more tropical than Vermont I even consider moving there.

  82. 82.

    Mike E

    Local teevee web headline: A defiant Alabama regains ground against gay marriage

    Take that, teh ghey!

  83. 83.

    SRW1

    @Cacti:

    Anybody know the conversion rate for San Marino? That’s a place I have been to and consequently would tell me something.

  85. 85.

    NotMax

    @p.a.

    And more imaginative. After all, the capital of Luxembourg is… Luxembourg.

    And let’s not even get into the nine or so different ways the letter g can be pronounced in Luxembourgish.

  86. 86.

    Mary G

    @p.a.: That was a really interesting article. I didn’t know anything about Roger Williams, but I like him now.

  88. 88.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @RSR: I know many teachers who are hoping Gov. Cuomo gets investigated. His staff is already facing questions.

  89. 89.

    NotMax

    @mdblanche

    Historical trivia: The compact which cemented an independent San Marino requires that Italy annually provide whatever number of matches San Marino may request.

  91. 91.

    mdblanche

    @Baud: There is an island in Narragansett Bay known officially as Rhode Island, but everybody calls it Aquidneck Island. It was a separate colony for a few years before merging with the mainland to form The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.

  93. 93.

    AndoChronic

    The conversion scale they should have used is the How Many Times Tommy Chong Says “like wow man, yeah” Scale.

  95. 95.

    jl

    @AndoChronic: Clearly there should be Cheech and Chong units of weight and volume.

    Or maybe only oldsters would understand those. So, how about Cypress Hill?

  100. 100.

    p.a.

    One place RI isn’t smallest. State gdp:
    39 Delaware 70,293
    40 New Hampshire 69,572
    41 West Virginia 65,765
    42 Idaho 62,463
    43 Maine 57,821
    44 Alaska 54,702
    45 Rhode Island 54,663
    46 South Dakota 45,443
    47 North Dakota 55,262
    48 Montana 45,983
    49 Wyoming 40,542
    50 Vermont 29,968

  101. 101.

    David in NY

    Funny. You know, under the Federal Sentencing Guidelines, in figuring the amount of drugs a defendant is responsible for at sentencing, and there are multiple drugs involved, coke, heroin, mdma, whatever, you convert everything to marijuana. (Drug sentences are based largely on drug amounts, which can often be kinda silly.) Anyway, this leads to some complicated arithmetic, and, when heavy drugs are involved, big numbers of weed.

    But I think it would be much more fun if everything were converted to elephants.

  102. 102.

    Hungry Joe

    My favorite unit of measurement is the debutante, as explained by Dorothy Parker: “If all the debutantes in New York were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.”

    (She may or may not have actually said that, but I prefer to believe that she did.)

  107. 107.

    Roger Moore

    @pat:

    I’ll always remember that when learning that Pluto was too small to be considered a planet

    Strictly speaking, it’s not that Pluto is too small to be considered a planet. It’s that Pluto is not the largest object in its orbital neighborhood, which is one of the requirements to be a planet. Pluto and Mars swapped orbits, Pluto would be a planet and Mars would be a dwarf planet.

  108. 108.

    J R in WV

    @Mike J:

    I sorry to hear about this. Sometimes even a commonly given and usually innocous test can cause negative stuff (I am not a doctor!) to happen to a patient.

    Or a person can have a TIA during a consultation for another issue altogether, making it look like the first test caused the resulting TIA, when the only connection was the date on which the two events occurred.

    Hopefully the fact that you dad was actually in a great place for a bad health event to occur will mean that he got instant and beneficial treatment, I’m wishing you family the best of luck as hard as I can.

  109. 109.

    jl

    @Roger Moore: That is a buttload of context in the definition of ‘planet’. If I find some plaintiffs who are harmed, that sucker already has four votes against.

  111. 111.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Hungry Joe: Boston-area people are of course familiar with the Smoot, who actually *was* laid end-to-end to measure a bridge.

    The really funny thing is that the guy (subject of a fraternity prank) went on to a very distinguished career in the field of scientific and technical standards, culminating in being the head of the International Standards Organization.

  112. 112.

    Roger Moore

    @p.a.:

    One place RI isn’t smallest. State gdp:

    Also, too, state population, which is probably related. They aren’t even the smallest by population in New England; Vermont is smaller.

  113. 113.

    David in NY

    @Hungry Joe:

    If all the debutantes in New York were laid end to end,…

    No, no. It’s all the Vassar girls at the Yale prom. Anyway, Vassar is supposed to be in there. And probably Yale, too.

  114. 114.

    Mandalay

    @Gin & Tonic:

    what of the poor West Virginian who’s never been to RI?

    Their solution is to use this handy little web site: http://overlapmaps.com/

    It will visually compare the sizes of Rhode Island and West Virginia. Actually it doesn’t work that well for states, but is terrific for comparisons between countries. If you want to compare the sizes of (say) Iran and Peru without looking up the data that is the site to use.

  115. 115.

    Gin & Tonic

    @David in NY: A good friend of mine (male) was a student at Vassar in their first year of co-education. He was, um, a very busy guy.

  116. 116.

    dmsilev

    @Gin & Tonic: Years later, Smoot’s son also went to MIT and joined the same frat. There was some discussion about whether to recalibrate the value of the Smoot, since the son was an inch or so taller than the father. They kept the original definition, and the bridge remains 364.4 Smoots plus an ear in length.

  121. 121.

    different-church-lady

    @Roger Moore: Plus the eccentric orbit, which is at quite an angle from the ecliptic, and at times puts Pluto nearer to the sun than Neptune.

    The whole thing stunk high heaven from the get-go, but nobody had the guts to do anything about it until now. Plus nine was a nice poetic number.

  122. 122.

    AndoChronic

    @jl: Back in the day it took 20 tons to get a buzz… The stuff the kids have today, just stupid. I’ll refrain from any “small batch” or “artisanal” comments though.

    A more interesting conversion would be a THC content comparison from the weed in the days of yore to today’s craziness.

    Even Cypress Hill is dating yourself horribly.

  123. 123.

    different-church-lady

    @Gin & Tonic:

    …culminating in being the head of the International Standards Organization.

    Once I heard that I started to wonder if the very reason they used him to measure the bridge was because he was interested/obsessed with unit standardization even in college. The story reads like a poetic coincidence, but perhaps isn’t really ironic at all.

  127. 127.

    jl

    @AndoChronic: OK, please un- and update me. Who or what is the ‘hep’ stoner band today?
    The little DUI punk from Canada doesn’t count.

    Oh, wait, Bieber is probably dated too. Very dated.

  128. 128.

    jl

    @AndoChronic:

    ” A more interesting conversion would be a THC content comparison from the weed in the days of yore to today’s craziness. ”

    I agree there. I don’t believe it either (from that I have heard, mind you, from friends) Whatever happened to geezer pride?

    Whee, back in mi dee, I walked uphill to school in back barefoot in yi olde snowe, inni cinnit wirm mi feet bi thi feerplace causin feer twernt innvinnint yit!

    An heel, you damn kids call that bermudi grass dope? Whee in mi dee, we knew what strong dope weer, dammit.

  130. 130.

    AndoChronic

    @jl: Damn, I was going to say something about the weight of crashed up Lamborghinis too.

    I thought the Grateful Dead was still the “hep” stoner band judging from the ticket prices.

  132. 132.

    AndoChronic

    @jl: What’s a shame about today’s youth though is that they’ll be far more mentally challenged and physically ‘effed than any Gen. X’er or Boomer. The synthetics are hell on wheels bad. The synthetics are a good argument for an across the board decriminalization effort. As an LADC intern I couldn’t tell you how many early twenty year olds I met who already had life threatening chronic kidney and liver issues as a result of synthetic drugs. I’m sure some have already died. As a harm reductionist, smoke a doobie and have a Miller is my motto!

  134. 134.

    Violet

    @Mike J: Sending good wishes for a speedy recovery for your dad. Hope they find out what was wrong and it’s easy to fix.

  136. 136.

    PurpleGirl

    I know I’m quite late to the thread but I just have to ask… how many kittens is 20 tons? And are those kittens just born or 2 months old?

    (Why yes, I’ve been watching kitten cams this afternoon. Why do you ask?)

  139. 139.

    Digital Amish

    By my calculation 20 tons = the annual cocktail consumption of 27.39 John Boehners

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