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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

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“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Biden: Oh no. We’ve upset Big Pharma again.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

It’s not hopeless, and we’re not helpless.

No one could have predicted…

In my day, never was longer.

The lights are all blinking red.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

I was promised a recession.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

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You are here: Home / Let Me Tell Ya Bout the Birds and the Bees

Let Me Tell Ya Bout the Birds and the Bees

by John Cole|  May 7, 20153:06 pm| 119 Comments

This post is in: Clown Shoes

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No one could have predicted/hoocoodanode:

An abstinence-only high school in a tiny Texas town is battling a colossal chlamydia epidemic.

District officials are rethinking their approach to sex education after 20 of Crane High School’s 300 students tested positive for the sexually transmitted disease.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention called the outbreak a health issue at “epidemic proportions,” KFOR reported.

Crane Independent School District officials met Monday to discuss possible updates to the high school’s conservative sex education program.

“We do have an abstinence curriculum, and that evidently ain’t working,” superintendent Jim Rumage told the TV station. “We need to do all we can, although it’s the parents’ responsibility to educate their kids on sexual education.”

However, Rumage defended the current teachings to the San Antonio Express-News.

“If kids are not having any sexual activity, they can’t get this disease,” he said. “That’s not a bad program.”

And if people wouldn’t steal we wouldn’t need cops. They better double down and put up some more Ten Commandments posters in the public square before this shit gets out of control.

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Reader Interactions

119Comments

  1. 1.

    Karen in GA

    May 7, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    Morons.

    (Also, too: John Cole, self-bigfooter.)

  2. 2.

    jaleh

    May 7, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    I know you guys post great articles, so I thought you would like this one by Atul Gawande in the New Yorker: It is fabulous!

    http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/05/11/overkill-atul-gawande

  3. 3.

    John Cole +0

    May 7, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    @Karen in GA: I was told I was the Honey Badger of blogging once.

  4. 4.

    Shakezula

    May 7, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Does anyone want to bet $100,000 that Patient Zero is NOT one of the teachers?

    Anyone?

    Damn. Oh well, back to work.

  5. 5.

    dedc79

    May 7, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    But are we sure they got it from sex? Maybe they got chlamydia the same way Mary got pregnant.

  6. 6.

    scav

    May 7, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    No no, are more fathers being disappeared?! Epidemic! Has anyone checked the tunnels underneath Walmart?!

    Also, you Bad Bad Parents! Bad Students! You are failing the adopted Educational Theory!

  7. 7.

    Karen in GA

    May 7, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    @John Cole +0: Only once?

  8. 8.

    Poopyman

    May 7, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    Isn’t it time for a new thread by now?

  9. 9.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    May 7, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    The superintendent used the word “ain’t” in an interview he knew would be put out in the media. We are not dealing with a rocket scientist here.

    I think they just need to pray harder, and not get that shit treated, it is the will of Jesus after all.

  10. 10.

    srv

    May 7, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    You morons realize Crane is the only thing between Midland and the border? This could just be the first level of infection from ISIS.

    Ft Hood, Garland, clap in Crane… Wake up!

  11. 11.

    Wallis Lane

    May 7, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    Cue the press conference in which Greg Abbott claims the government is spreading chlamydia through the water system, in order to weaken the good people of Texas.in advance of Jade Helm.

    That’s why the Governor only drinks rainwater and pure grain alcohol.

  12. 12.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    In the real world, “No sex” is not an attainable goal. The choice is between safe sex and unsafe sex. This Texas town has made the choice of unsafe sex and a disease outbreak was the inevitable result.

    Chlamydia can cause infertility in woman. Are scarred Fallopian tubes a wingnut-approved form of birth control?

  13. 13.

    Belafon

    May 7, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    @srv: You left out Jade Helm, with its Muslim connection through Obama.

  14. 14.

    srv

    May 7, 2015 at 3:35 pm

    @Belafon: Obama just should have said, OK, y’all deal with those ISIS camps across the border on your own.

  15. 15.

    Aleta

    May 7, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    The kids will be punished, corrected and ‘treated.’ The adults will hold on to their own virtue.

  16. 16.

    Shana

    May 7, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    My daughter (age 25) sent me this this morning with the subject “I hope this makes you laugh as hard as it made me laugh.” Truly, who could have predicted?

  17. 17.

    sigaba

    May 7, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    “We do have an abstinence curriculum, and that evidently ain’t working,” superintendent Jim Rumage told the TV station.

    See the superintendent has clearly been duped by the liberal worldview. Liberals think the object of sex education is to prevent STDs. Conservatives know better: the object of sex education is to make sure the people who get STDs deserved to get them.

  18. 18.

    Keith G

    May 7, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    “If kids are not having any sexual activity, they can’t get this disease,” he said. “That’s not a bad program

    That man is a pus-filled boil in the rectum of a rabid weasel. He is not an educator.

    Those kids are being kids and as such the emotional/intellectual shafting they are getting from the adults is many times more consequential than the physical shafting that some are giving each other.

  19. 19.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    May 7, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    @beltane:

    In the real world, “No sex” is not an attainable goal.

    Of course it is, these kids should just read the Bible together rather than exploring their naughty bits. It’s all the liberal society’s influence.

  20. 20.

    Mary G

    May 7, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    @CONGRATULATIONS!: Yeah, it was the “ain’t working” that struck me the most. The superintendent of schools! My dad the grammar Nazi is spinning in his grave.

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    May 7, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    How do Texans dress themselves in the morning? Do they get help from Florida Man?

  22. 22.

    dedc79

    May 7, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    Maybe they got it from riding tractors. Oh wait, wrong STD.

  23. 23.

    srv

    May 7, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    Breaking: Obama Invasion Plans for Texas revealed.

  24. 24.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    @trollhattan: With all the STDs proliferating in Texas these days, it’s not a sure thing that they are dressing themselves anymore.

  25. 25.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 7, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    So does this sound familiar to anyone? (RE: UK Elections)

    According to ConservativeHome’s Mark Wallace, in some areas the Tories are having problems with VoteSource, their voter contact database.

    Sounds like exactly the same problems the Romney campaign had. Now I am not one for wild conspiracy theories but does it appear strange that Jim Messina is running PR for the Tories and they are having exactly the same problem that Romney had? Seems to me that Messina’s liberal roots might be pulling a bit of sabotage. Heh Heh Heh

  26. 26.

    SiubhanDuinne

    May 7, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    @jaleh:

    This came up obliquely this morning re raven‘s wrist MRI. He suspected that it was more for the enrichment of BCBS than anything else.

    That said, if you’re around, raven, please let us know how things went.

  27. 27.

    trollhattan

    May 7, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    @beltane:
    “Dang it all, Kristyll, mah pants is on backwards. Again!”

  28. 28.

    scav

    May 7, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Maybe it’s the upswing in the earth rocking and rolling because of, mmm, fluids being injected int wells in TX and environs because of fracking. … all the imagery, all the physical concrete unexpected rumbbbbling action on the naughty bits putting ideas into the unsupervised youthful heads. Practice safe well and drill-bit management.

  29. 29.

    Lit3Bolt

    May 7, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    “Hay babee, whut ar’ dese funny looking bumps on yer genie-tals?”

    “Oh honey don’t worry ’bout that my pastor told me to pray real hard and they’d go away.”

  30. 30.

    Pogonip

    May 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    @beltane: Alert all those Buddhist and Christian monks and nuns so they can find other jobs.

    Not picking on you specfically, but on Americans in general: it always amuses me how Americans, many of whom spend decades dieting, think it is absolutely impossible to control some of one’s other urges.

  31. 31.

    SiubhanDuinne

    May 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    @CONGRATULATIONS!:

    The superintendent used the word “ain’t” in an interview he knew would be put out in the media.

    When I was a little girl, I was told “There ain’t such a word as ain’t, ’cause it ain’t in the dictionary.” That’s no longer strictly true, of course, and many educated people use it informally or mildly ironically. But a school superintendent speaking in his official capacity? That ain’t right.

  32. 32.

    scav

    May 7, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    @Pogonip: um, looking at the body types on exhibit, I think they assume urges can’t be controlled based on solid — ok, very wobbly, but extensive — evidence.

  33. 33.

    Keith G

    May 7, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    @trollhattan:

    How do Texans dress themselves in the morning?

    Voters who are willing to push the button for Democratic candidates make up 41 to 44 % of Texas voters. Don’t throw all Texans under your short yellow bus, please.

  34. 34.

    Steppan

    May 7, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    @Pogonip:

    But your examples also make it a dedicated, concerted way of life that they practice every day.

  35. 35.

    Hal

    May 7, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    And in Colorado?

    Republican legislators in Colorado will not authorize funding for a program that gives free IUDs to low-income women — an effort that many believe was responsible for hugely driving down teen births.

    So how successful was the program?

    Colorado has recently experienced a stunning decline in its teen birth rate. Between 2007 and 2012, federal data shows that births declined 40 percent — faster than any other state in the country.

    State officials attributed part of this success to the Colorado Family Planning Initiative, which provided free IUDs to low-income women seen at 68 family planning clinics across the state. Last year, state officials estimated that young women served by those family planning clinics accounted for about three-fourths of the overall decline in Colorado’s teen birth rate.

    An anonymous donor had previously funded the program, but Democrats in the Colorado Senate added $5 million to the state budget to keep the program going in the future. That effort died in a Republican-controlled state Senate committee late last week, putting the program in peril.

    Social conservatives want no sex, no pregnancies, no abortions, no social programs. You can’t have it all. If these people really cared about the unborn, they would support programs that actually reduce the pregnancy rates.

  36. 36.

    Mike in NC

    May 7, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    Are abstinence-only high schools another weird Texas thing?

  37. 37.

    WereBear

    May 7, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    @Hal: So, ipso facto, they don’t care.

    They just want to take away the means by which people control their lives so they can have more opportunities to be moral scolds.

  38. 38.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 7, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    @Pogonip: Any individual can control his or her urges, but do you really think that an entire high school population will do so?

  39. 39.

    trollhattan

    May 7, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    @Keith G:
    Upon review of every governor since Ann Richards, two of whom were reelected in spite/because of their spectacular ineptitude, and then eyeballing the TX congressional delegation, it’s impossible to take the joint seriously. Just sayin’.

  40. 40.

    The Thin Black Duke

    May 7, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Today it’s Chlamydia.

    Sooner or later, somebody is going to test positive for HIV.

    No, this ain’t fucking funny.

  41. 41.

    scav

    May 7, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    @The Thin Black Duke: Southern Indiana more or less beat you to it. Which was so obvious a parallel, I didn’t bother with it.

  42. 42.

    Belafon

    May 7, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    @Hal: Conservatives want your sex to have consequences, mainly of the control women variety. I suspect most of them would be happy with Boko-Haram getting 214 of the 234 women freed pregnant.

  43. 43.

    Riley's Enabler

    May 7, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    @Mike in NC: Here in Houston it’s a common thing.

    Kiddo has his 5th grade “puberty film” screening in class tomorrow. I so want to go, but he’d be horrified.
    (That said he’s already had his many, many talks on the subject at hand (ahem), with many more to go. His school district can bite it; my kid is not skipping into the world unprepared.)

  44. 44.

    The Thin Black Duke

    May 7, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    @scav: Unfortunately, to some people, it’s not that obvious, is it?

    What worse, they’re usually the morans in charge, too.

    Sorry. I’m cranky today, because it’s the same old bullshit, except there seems to be more of it these days.

  45. 45.

    raven

    May 7, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    Jewel Aiken

  46. 46.

    Belafon

    May 7, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    @The Thin Black Duke: It isn’t funny for the kids. The adults on the other hand, need to be laughed at until they feel shame. The other option is to punch them, but I’m on the other side of the state.

  47. 47.

    Keith G

    May 7, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    @trollhattan: And here I thought that stereotyping the whole on the basis of a perception of a part of a population was not a value embraced by progressives.

    You seem to be very spiritually connected to the majority of Texas voters.

  48. 48.

    rikyrah

    May 7, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    Barack Obama has been cast

    …………………

    Parker Sawyers Will Be Barack Obama to Tika Sumpter’s Michelle Robinson in ‘Before Sunset’-Style Romance

    By Tambay A. Obenson | Shadow and Act

    May 7, 2015 at 1:26PM

    Parker Sawyers, known for parts in “Zero Dark Thirty” (2012), “Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit” (2014) and “Monsters: Dark Continent” (2014), has been cast to play Barack Obama in a film based on the early romance between Barack and Michelle Obama.

    Titled “Southside With You” – I suppose referring to South Side, Chicago, home to some of the most significant figures in the history of American politics, including Obama – the project is being pitched as a “Before Sunset”-style type of movie (in short, man, woman, lots of mostly profound conversation over a period of time), which will take place entirely in one day during the summer of 1989, when one Barack Obama (then a first-year Harvard Law student) took his future wife, Michelle (an associate at a Chicago law firm), out on a first date, which included a tour of Chicago’s South Side.

    Sawyers will play the younger Barack, joining the previously-cast Tika Sumpter as the younger Michelle Obama (who was Michelle Robinson at the time).

    http://blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/parker-sawyers-will-be-barack-obama-to-tika-sumpters-michelle-robinson-in-before-sunset-style-romance-20150507

  49. 49.

    samiam

    May 7, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    BREAKING: Teenagers are still having sex. Clearly the astinence only curriculum is not aggressive enough. Needs more Jesus…and color charts…or something.

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    May 7, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    @raven:

    How’d the MRI go?

  51. 51.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    @Pogonip: Umm, expecting the average American teenager to embrace the abstemious lifestyle of a Christian or Buddhist monk is unrealistic. Monasteries themselves have always had a reputation for unsavory goings on. While a strict segregation of sexes along with early marriage does limit unauthorized heterosexual activity among teenagers, it is not the way mainstream America lives. Even (especially) the evangelicals do not live like this.

  52. 52.

    Amir Khalid

    May 7, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    @Hal:
    But it’s not the unborn they care about, is it? The thing is not to do what works or even what’s right, but to be as ostentatiously “Christian” as possible. So they rely on abstinence-based sex “education”, even though it plainly doesn’t work. Likewise they restrict the supply of contraception and anything else that might abet teen/non-marital sex by making it less risky, so that when kids do have sex the adverse consequences happen more often. Because the self-righteous tut-tutting about the wages of sin is more conspicuously “Christian” than kids being informed about sex or kept safe from its more adverse consequences.

  53. 53.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    @The Thin Black Duke: Chlamydia is not even funny, especially untreated Chlamydia. As a parent, I want my children to learn how to care for their bodies.

  54. 54.

    bemused

    May 7, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Amanda Marcotte went to Crane High School as she wrote in Slate. She quoted a parent from news station as saying he didn’t want to bring up his kid in town that has nasty stuff like that going on.

    Clueless parents don’t know what goes on in the high school but their kids sure do. Teens in a local high school in my area may not have a steady boy/girlfriend but could have a fuk buddy as they call it instead of friends with benefits. The difference is that they have had much better sex ed so I don’t think their parents know.

  55. 55.

    Belafon

    May 7, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    @Keith G: As a Texan, I know who they’re talking about. Some of them are my parents.

  56. 56.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 7, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Is there any way we can have an open thread for the UK election returns? I am so looking forward to them (if I can stay awake), I love the way the commentator and the returns officer remain so calm throughout. “Joe Smith (Labor) 6,200 votes, Snot Nose Brown (Conservative) 5,100 votes, Eric the Magnificent (Monster Raving Loony Party) 150 votes, etc., it has such entertainment value. Methinks I shall be snickering all night.

  57. 57.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    @bemused:

    She quoted a parent from news station as saying he didn’t want to bring up his kid in town that has nasty stuff like that going on.

    These parents can’t be that old. They themselves were probably teenagers themselves during the late ’80s/ early ’90s when there was plenty of “nasty stuff” going on. What is the matter with these people?

  58. 58.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: I am excited, too. I love election returns, any country’s election returns.

  59. 59.

    Amir Khalid

    May 7, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    @beltane:
    A convenient and selective amnesia, I reckon.

  60. 60.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 7, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    @bemused:

    I am a former member of the Royal Navy and one weekend we hosted a barbeque for a bunch of my husband’s students. Their conversations were absolutely shocking to me. On the lines of “Oh are Melissa and Phil dating or are they just fuck buddies” I had never heard of the term “fuck buddies” before but apparently it is a thing these days.

  61. 61.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    @Shakezula: Just for you.

  62. 62.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    @dedc79: You mean The Immaculate Infection?

  63. 63.

    Amir Khalid

    May 7, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    This calls for a video.

  64. 64.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 7, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    @beltane: It is so much more exciting than the damn cable news networks “exit poll predictions”. Apparently Sunderland’s returning officer is hoping to smash his own record and have his return by 10:42pm.

  65. 65.

    shawn

    May 7, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    aint is perfectly acceptable in Texas. you hear it in red and blue corners alike. it is a subtle way to cut through ones own BS, connect to a dusty, blue collar, probably not college educated community and get to a hard truth that the listener may not like. maybe hard to understand, kind of like how Southerners might not get that New Yorkers aren’t being rude to each other.

    i was happy to see they are coming to the abstinence only doesn’t work party, however late. they tried it their way, and they found out that it doesn’t work. this should be celebrated, especially in this audience

    “‘no sex’ IS totally attainable,” said the roughly 140 boys at that high school that are not getting laid

  66. 66.

    trollhattan

    May 7, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    @Keith G:
    Your feefees are duly noted. And feel free to fire any and all rejoinders re. presidents Nixon and Reagan. We own up to our mistakes!

  67. 67.

    bemused

    May 7, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    @beltane:

    Denial? Selective memory? Hell if I know how grown people can be so naive.

  68. 68.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    @Pogonip: The problem is that for an individual that kind of commitment is achievable. For it to work as a society, it has to achieve 100% adherence or it’s a failure sign from Gawd that There Be Sinners Among Us.

  69. 69.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    @Keith G: IOW, that’s 11 million refugees the other 49 will need to evacuate and resettle.

  70. 70.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 7, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    @Amir Khalid: That sums it up nicely

  71. 71.

    shell

    May 7, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    because it’s the same old bullshit, except there seems to be more of it these days.

    I don’t know if there’s more of it, just that due to social media and the interwebs we’re more quickly and broadly aware of it.

    Think of it as improved cancer screening.

  72. 72.

    JPL

    May 7, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: The polls close in less than fifteen minutes so BBC should release something other than dogs going to vote with masters.

  73. 73.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    @Hal:

    Social conservatives want no sex, no pregnancies, no abortions, no social programs.

    Not true. Social conservatives want an easy way to identify Teh Righteous™ – by which they mean the virginal and wealthy Elect. Adulterous behavior, illness and poverty are earthly signs of imminent Eternal Damnation™.

  74. 74.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 7, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    @JPL:

    Sunderland is going to be first, they are hoping for a 10:42 return (which should be 5:42 EST I think). The Guardian had a great photo gallery of unlikely polling stations, lots of them in local pubs, some in caravans, according to the Guardian there have been huge lines (queues) to vote, so turnout is expected to be huge. I guess people are fed up with Cameron.

  75. 75.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 5:00 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Exit poll will be released right now.

  76. 76.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    @boatboy_srq: I don’t even think it is desirable for a society. There is nothing inherently evil about sex.

  77. 77.

    Epicurus

    May 7, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    Thanks, Obama!!1! (/sarcasm.)

  78. 78.

    mdblanche

    May 7, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    @beltane: BBC says Tories 316, Labour 239, SNP 58 (out of 59), Lib Dems 10

  79. 79.

    Belafon

    May 7, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    @Keith G: You know, most of us Democrats in Texas know exactly who people like trollhattan are talking about.

  80. 80.

    JPL

    May 7, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: f..k bbc is saying tories

  81. 81.

    beltane

    May 7, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    @mdblanche: Meh.

  82. 82.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    May 7, 2015 at 5:07 pm

    @jaleh: I love to read Atul Gawande’s New Yorker stuff. He has such wonderful insights into what’s fucked up about US medical care and how we pay for it, with high cred as a doc. His piece about hospice care is phenomenal.

  83. 83.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 7, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    “If kids are not having any sexual activity, they can’t get this disease,” he said. “That’s not a bad program.”

    The stupid. IT BURNS! (literally)

  84. 84.

    Jebediah, RBG

    May 7, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    @CONGRATULATIONS!:

    The superintendent used the word “ain’t” in an interview he knew would be put out in the media. We are not dealing with a rocket scientist here.

    It’s OK – it was an Oxford “ain’t.”

  85. 85.

    Cacti

    May 7, 2015 at 5:12 pm

    Opposition to sex education, birth control, family planning, etc. are all just symptoms of the larger problem…

    Religious conservatives want to be the sex police.

  86. 86.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 7, 2015 at 5:12 pm

    @Keith G: Your constant butthurt about people looking at Texas and sighing “oh, what maroons” is getting beyond tiresome, and frankly, only reinforces the stereotypes you are so butthurt about. Why don’t you just find a fainting couch and park yourself there.

  87. 87.

    Gindy51

    May 7, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    @bemused: In my rural SE IN town they have blow job buddies in GRADE school. In middle school they progress to anal so as to not get knocked up before high school and then onto vaginal by the time they enter high school. This has been going on since my kid was attending that school system and she’s been out of college since 2011. And this is no poor school district either, it’s one of the top tier systems in the state.

  88. 88.

    bemused

    May 7, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    @Gindy51:

    And parents are the last to know if ever.

  89. 89.

    trollhattan

    May 7, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    O/T amid the endless (non)confirmation hearings I managed to miss what an awesome person Loretta Lynch is. Hope she enjoyed the seven-minute long post-confirmation honeymoon phase.

  90. 90.

    Pogonip

    May 7, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: No, I was just pointing out that the idea that doing so is absolutely impossible is unsupported by evidence.

    In my madcap youth, I controlled myself with the knowledge that if I became pregnant, my parents would never, ever, ever let me hear the end of it! This was the ’70’s, when crossing your legs did not lead to popularity, but it beat the alternative. Maybe those Texas kids have rant-deficient parents.

  91. 91.

    Myiq2xu

    May 7, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    I guess none of the kids in schools where they teach safe sex ever gets an STD.

  92. 92.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    @The Thin Black Duke: HIV, syphilis, etc; there’s a whole range of medical risks with seriously nasty consequences. Not a bit funny, actually. What do you suggest we do? We can’t persuade the school districts or TX Dept of Ed to adopt rational education standards (for anything, actually, let alone sex ed); we can’t persuade parents to teach rational sex ed without things like this happening first to showcase what a parade of fail abstinence ed is (although I for one still think pandemic STDs in abstinence-only schools is a feature-not-bug artifact for the FundiEvangelist crowd); we can’t require public boarding schools to teach what the school districts and parents obviously won’t in an environment where the local school districts and parents can’t interfere; we can’t take the kids away from the parents and communities; and despite what the Wingnut Wurlitzer insists is happening, we can’t dissolve the governments and institute martial law for any reason let alone just making sure potentially-fatal stupidity isn’t taught in schools.

  93. 93.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 7, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    @Pogonip: It is theoretically possible that an entire high school’s student population could refrain from sex, but the likelihood of it happening is so minute that I think we can safely discount it.

  94. 94.

    singfoom

    May 7, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    @Myiq2xu: No, I’m sure they do. There’s a difference here. Those who acknowledge the way the world is know that teenagers are going to have sex. You can teach them to do it safely, they may or not take those lessons to heart. If they get an STD because they ignored how to have safe sex, that’s their own personal responsibility.

    But if you live in jeebus land and can’t acknowledge the real world and therefore teach “abstinence-only” sex education (which isn’t educational at all, but just finger wagging) and then those kids get an STD, that’s partly on you because they were not given the tools they need to make the right choices.

    Enjoy the warmth of that straw though.

  95. 95.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    @Myiq2xu: A) schools that teach sensible sex ed rarely if ever have a 10% STD infection rate; B) safe sex ed also includes seeing a physician if an infection is suspected so it can be treated and cured, instead of pretending it can’t possibly exist because the kids aren’t having sex (which is how Crane got to a 10% infection rate to begin with).

  96. 96.

    Baud

    May 7, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    @Myiq2xu: Do you know of such an outbreak recently?

  97. 97.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    @mdblanche: The only way Tories get to majority with that is coalition with SNP (Hell will freeze first IYAM): LibDems can’t help them this time. Zero seats for UKIP?

  98. 98.

    Tree With Water

    May 7, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    Next thing you know, kids today will be reading Balzac, Captain Billy Whizbang, and playing pool. We’ve got trouble, folks..

  99. 99.

    Shakezula

    May 7, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    @Pogonip: I’m sure the parents from this ‘burg would be understanding personified if one of their daughters got pregnant.

    Excuse me, my eyes just rolled off in a corner.

  100. 100.

    MomSense

    May 7, 2015 at 5:50 pm

    Our Whole Lives is a comprehensive sexuality course that is offered at UCC and UU churches. It is such a good program. I recommend it highly and encourage people to learn more about it and refer parents. Even though I have never lived in an abstinence education school district, I still enrolled my kids and it made a huge difference. My boys do not consider birth control to be something that only women have to deal with. They are responsible sexually and are not burdened by shaming messages or misinformation.
    Those poor kids in Crane did not have to go through this. Their parents, schools, and community failed them big time.

  101. 101.

    Myiq2xu

    May 7, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    If anyone bothered to do some research instead of merely taking John Cole’s word for it they would discover that the school did not report that there had been 20 cases at the school, just that there had been an outbreak among teens and young adults in the area.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/photos/photo-letter-home-parents-students-crane-independent-school-30814149

  102. 102.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    @Myiq2xu: Nice try. Oh, wait: there’s more.

  103. 103.

    singfoom

    May 7, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    @Myiq2xu:

    1)I heard about this before John Cole mentioned anything.

    2)Here’s some links including local news website in Texas that uses the 20 cases figure so it would seem that you’re incorrect:

    http://www.kwtx.com/home/headlines/Chlamydia-Outbreak-Reported-At-Small-Texas-High-School-302306581.html
    http://outbreaknewstoday.com/texas-crane-high-school-reports-chlamydia-outbreak-96050/

    This is 500 out, but there’s a CDC bulletin about it: http://emergency.cdc.gov/snaps/data/48/48103.htm

    3)What’s your goddamn point?

  104. 104.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 6:12 pm

    @boatboy_srq: Four legitimate links and I’m in moderation. FYWP.

  105. 105.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 6:18 pm

    @Myiq2xu: Let’s try that…

  106. 106.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    @Myiq2xu: … one more time, shall we?

  107. 107.

    Myiq2xu

    May 7, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    @boatboy_srq: Zero + zero = zero. Find an article with a direct quote from a school or state official that says 20 students are confirmed to have chlamydia.

  108. 108.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 7, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    @Myiq2xu: Nice moving of the goalposts.

  109. 109.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 6:42 pm

    @Myiq2xu: Better? From the article:

    As of right now the district says only high school students have been affected but they sent letters to junior high parents Friday as a preventative measure.

    And in case the school numbers confuse you, it might help to know that Crane only has about 3000 residents. So it’s not like there’s another high school in town that was masking the numbers, or a horrific truancy problem.

  110. 110.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I do like how he thinks we’re talking about either a metropolis with a HISD-grade infrastructure or some huge home-schooler community.

  111. 111.

    SRW1

    May 7, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    @Myiq2xu:

    Translating ‘almost two dozens’ into numbers apparently is kind of a challenge to some.

  112. 112.

    boatboy_srq

    May 7, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Maybe he’ll take this as a reference – in case he thinks that Crane is an isolated case. Looking at the numbers for the 10 worst (TX is 8th) it’s a Red State wingnut Hell paradise almost across the board.

    EDIT: and it’s not as if the surrounding area were much better.

  113. 113.

    bemused

    May 7, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    I’m watching Amy Schumer’s “Ask if birth control is right for you” again. Great lampoon.

  114. 114.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 7, 2015 at 7:10 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Troll vermin is troll vermin. Period. Intellectually dishonest and fucking proud of it.

  115. 115.

    Hal

    May 7, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    @bemused:

    I’m watching Amy Schumer’s “Ask if birth control is right for you” again. Great lampoon.

    It’s hilarious scary how close to real life nails the issue of birth control. My favorite little joke is the ask people on Facebook part where some dude types “ur fat” in response. Like a skit inside a skit.

    Love Breitbart’s take away on the real issue:

    On April 21 Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer ran a parody ad in which Schumer complained that guns are easier to acquire than birth control pills.

  116. 116.

    bemused

    May 7, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    @Hal:

    They lash out like little kids when the truth pinches them. When they resort to grade school insults, you know you’ve hit a nerve.

  117. 117.

    low-tech cyclist

    May 8, 2015 at 11:02 am

    Nice earworm, John – I hadn’t thought about that song for years.

  118. 118.

    Myiq2xu

    May 8, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    I TOLD YOU SO:

    A West Texas high school that supposedly had an “epidemic” chlamydia outbreak may have never had an outbreak at all — despite widespread coverage of the story.

    The superintendent of tiny Crane independent school district in west Texas told a local news outlet that as many as 20 students out of Crane high school’s 300 had the sexually transmitted infection, and that the district may consider a new sexual education program as a result. The district currently teaches abstinence-only sex education, over a three-day course in the fall.

    However, state health officials, who local media cited as telling the superintendent about the outbreak, told the Guardian they do not know where the figure came from.

    “I can tell you there were three confirmed cases of chlamydia reported to us within the past couple of weeks from Crane County,” said Christine Mann, a spokesperson for the Texas Department of State Health Services. Mann also expressed frustration at the rapid spread of inaccurate information about cases in the county.

    Another epic John Cole fail.

  119. 119.

    My Truth Hurts

    May 8, 2015 at 9:08 pm

    “We do have an abstinence curriculum, and that evidently ain’t working,”

    No shit, Bubba? How about that?

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