Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

by | 91 Comments

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colebrood

*** Update ***

From left to right, it is me, Annie, Seth, and Devon. That’s right, I was the oldest and the role model. After I broke my parents in, though, the others had it soooo damned easy.

My mother swears to this day that everything about me was the worst- most difficult pregnancy, delivery (and Annie was Caesarian), youth. She claims even my bowel movements were the smelliest and nastiest. Everything about me was rotten.

I also was apparently able to swing myself out of the crib at 9 months old. The doctor didn’t believe them, so they showed him. They put me in the crib, I stood up with my back to the crib, reach up, and flipped myself out. He was speechless.

I just had to be free.

Reader Interactions

91Comments

  1. 1.

    SiubhanDuinne

    What a great picture! I think at this point I can name you all, but I have no idea of relative ages in your family so I don’t know which kid is which.

    Happy Mother’s Day to the long-suffering Mrs. Cole. Hope Ginny and Guesley (sp.) are keeping her busy and happy.

    Edit: Not sure how to spell Guesley, Guessly, Geuslie?

  2. 2.

    WaterGirl

    Happy Mother’s Day, Mama Cole!

    What a great photo – look at those awesome faces. So many photos of kids show the fake smiles, but this one shows personality.

    I think I can pick out Devon. (maybe)

  4. 4.

    Amir Khalid

    All white kids look the same to me. I have no idea who is who. Which ones are the boys?

  8. 8.

    geg6

    Awww, cute Coles! Happy Mother’s Day to Mrs. Cole and all the moms and fur baby moms of BJ.

    The poor pups had a bad night. Much barking that we could not figure out. Today I spot a black thing, nestled on a ledge in the window of the peak of the sun room. It’s much too large to be a bug in Western PA, so I suspected it was a bat. Called my John, who is working, and told him what I thought and he says, well, that would explain the whooshing he heard when the dogs first began barking. So dog barking mystery is solved. The question is how and how fast John can remove it as soon as he gets home.

  12. 12.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @geg6: I had a bat in my house once, but it was at night. Is there a door you can leave open in that room? Like most wild animals, it wants out. I don’t see it in either of these links, but when I had my visitor, I seem to remember somebody saying put a white sheet or towel by the door, the white will attract the bat to the opening. But again, that was at night.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Catch-a-Bat-in-Your-House

    http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/bats/tips/bat_in_house_humane_removal.html

  14. 14.

    redshirt

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: True story: I was watching Batman Begins and I noticed something move out of the corner of my eye and went into the hallway and there was a bat just standing there. We locked eyes for a moment, and then he ran – literally ran – into my bedroom. I chased after him but never could find him, which was disturbing.

    I wonder to this day if this was somehow a very vivid hallucination.

  18. 18.

    ruemara

    I destroyed all my kid pix, so I canna share. You look very… 70’s, Mr. Cole. Happy Mum’s Day to all who wish it and Happy Surviving Mum’s Day to all who have complications.

  22. 22.

    Mike J

    @Baud:

    Happy Mama’s Day to all the BJ mamas out there.

    If there were more BJs there would be fewer mamas.

  23. 23.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @lamh36:

    Great picture!

    Just got off the phone with my own mother in Las Vegas. She’s having a good day. Brother who lives there is taking her to brunch.

  24. 24.

    Suzanne

    Happy Mothers’ Day to Mama Cole.

    All I want from my damn kids is for them to clean their damn rooms without any damn complaining. Like….FUCK.

  29. 29.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    I just realized this morning that we forgot to send flowers to my mother-in-law, but she knows what’s going on with my brother, so she understands. We’ll send her a little bigger bouquet for her birthday next week. I got my mom two extra days at the hotel in Florida instead of flowers (plus she’s in a hotel, so what would she do with flowers?)

  31. 31.

    SuperHrefna

    Aw, so cute! I just came back from taking my mother for a long walk at the beach, beautiful light today with both fog and bright sunshine.

  34. 34.

    geg6

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    The bat was flying around last night, but we weren’t aware of it at the time. Only the dogs were. Now he’s just sleeping on the ledge, which hopefully makes him too sluggish to notice John evacuating him until it’s too late.

    For some reason, I seem to attract bats. My parents only ever had one, the year after I graduated college and was still living with them. A year later, I moved in with my (now) ex and we had at least three bats in that house over the 12 years I lived there. Then, in the apartment I moved into after the breakup, I had at least three bats over the five years I lived there. Now this one and John, who has lived here since the early 80s, says he has never had a bat here. I don’t know what it is, but they seem to like me a lot more than I like them.

  35. 35.

    Germy Shoemangler

    It always gives me a peaceful feeling to see the bats fluttering around in the sky at dusk. I know they’re eating up all the insects that otherwise would be plaguing me.

  36. 36.

    Genine

    Happy Mother’s Day to Mrs. Cole and all mothers.

    That’s such a cute pic, John. Let me guess: You, Annie, Seth, and Devon?

  41. 41.

    aimai

    @ruemara: Very well said, ruemara. Happy Day to everyone, no exceptions. And for those with complications–may you skate through this day and on to the next one with as little grief as possible.

  42. 42.

    Cckids

    @Suzanne:

    All I want from my damn kids is for them to clean their damn rooms without any damn complaining. Like….FUCK.

    If I can offer some unsolicited advice: close the doors. This was what solved it for me. Life was too short & too busy for the angst I was expending on clean bedrooms. The only ironclad rules were 1) NO FOOD. Ever. And 2) if you leave the door open & Grandma sees it- you gotta clean it.

    And they’ve grown into organized, clean adults.

  43. 43.

    Kathleen

    Loved the pics of the little Coles (which boy is John?) and lamh36. Happy Mothers Day to all, whether you mother kids, critters, or friends and family members.

  46. 46.

    nancy darling

    @Cckids: That worked for me too on child #2. With my daughter, I nagged her all the time about her room. She’a a fairly neat adult, but her younger brother is exceptionally neat and tidy and with him I just shut the door.

    He started doing his own laundry at 12 and for a few years he went to school a wrinkled mess. He took the clothes out of the dryer and put them in a pile in a chair and picked through the pile every AM when getting dressed for school. I had to grit my teeth to let him leave the house that way, but he finally figured getting dressed was simpler when clothes were organized and folded.

    When he got to college, he was amazed that guys would save up their laundry and take it home for Mom to do.

  47. 47.

    scav

    @Cckids: Another trick is “The Swoop.” At random times with minimal warning, all kids’ clutter not in their rooms (or swiftly removed there during that minimal warning period) gets swooped and must be earned back by additional chores. (The bedroom clean criteria was occasionally “If I can walk diagonally from corner to corner and not step on anything, it’s clean OR I’m coming in with a shovel.”) Downside is, being who we were, my sister and I would occasionally swoop the parents. Dad was easy: Mom, nearly impossible.

  49. 49.

    gelfling545

    @Suzanne: My daughters absolutely never cleaned their rooms except under threat of death. With that & some of their “decorator” touches (such as my eldest painting Kurt Cobain lyrics in screaming red, dripping paint on her bedroom walls) it would have been nice to have a haz-mat team to clean up after each of them moved out. Needless to say, their own homes are impeccably kept. I guess the preaching got through, it just took a while. Each of them has a daughter just as messy as she was! Hah!

  50. 50.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    @Elizabelle:

    I knew but, then, I know at least one cast member who won the kitten lottery and was allowed to adopt a couple of the kittens. There is a very long list of employees who want to adopt Disneyland kittens whenever they become available.

    That writer didn’t do very good research, unfortunately — IIRC, there is a specific OC spay and neuter organization that is the unofficially official one that DLR (Disneyland Resort) works with to keep their ferals healthy and keep them from overbreeding.

  51. 51.

    Steeplejack

    @gelfling545:

    Each of them has a daughter just as messy as she was!

    As I believe the Rev. Martin Luther King pointed out, karma’s a bitch.

  53. 53.

    Tommy

    Let me tell you a happy mom story on this Mother’s day. My mom rocks. She is a superstar and as always I let her know it!

    My best friend in high school was named Woody. We knew each other as friends because all I did at the time was play golf. I played with him every day. By every day I mean from 7-5. 10 plus hours a day, every day.

    Growing up I lived in close to a perfect world. My mother used to drive me around a three-state area to play in golf tournaments.

    She once asked why isn’t Woody here with you? He was better than me I might add.

    I told mom his parents hit him. They didn’t care about him. He can’t afford to go to the places we do. Often the money you give me for lunch I split with him so he can eat.

    Mom was like I didn’t know that, he can come with us.

    So that first time we were in Campaign IL. We got up at like 4 AM tp drove there. Somebody there said who is the “Nigger lover, who brought the Nigger?”

    My mom was like WTF. I recall her carrying my bag and his, throwing them in the trunk of our car, and saying we don’t associate with people like that. We are leaving.

    We left.

    Mom is a rock star ………………

  54. 54.

    Ruckus

    Interesting mom’s day. Just walked back from the Norton Simon museum. Lots of moms enjoying the art, saw a few kids who looked like dad gave them the mom’s day speech about not being a douche at least this one day of the year. Also a lot of kids enjoying the art, which is always nice to see.

  55. 55.

    Suzanne

    @Cckids: I’ve already instituted the closed-door rule. Which has fallen on deaf ears. Sigh.

    I have love, health, and security. What I don’t have is a clean house. I suppose I’ve got a good deal.

  56. 56.

    mai naem mobile

    That.is.a.cute.overlord.pic.of.the.Coles. I was.under.the.impression JC was.the eldest kid so I would assume its.the first kid to.the left but rhe other. boy looks more like JC. The one set of professional portraits of.our whole family has.my dad practically scowling.in.his solo portrait because apparently us kids were messing around. Its a portrait from.the 70s with all the requisite ugly fugly polyester clothing.

  57. 57.

    Cckids

    @gelfling545:

    Each of them has a daughter just as messy as she was! Hah!

    Isn’t that some old curse/blessing? “May you one day have a child just like yourself “.

  58. 58.

    Cckids

    @Suzanne: yep. I have a lower than average standard, I guess. My childhood memories are very strong on my older sisters & I doing the lions share of housework- chores were to be done immediately after school, before friends or homework. A system that our younger half-siblings escaped entirely.

    Theres not much like cleaning for 1-2 hours every day while the siblings & neighbors played to foster both feelings of martyrdom & a disinclination to be THAT clean in my own home.

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne (tablet)

    @Cckids:

    The mother of one of my friends at work was very smart — she got all of the kids up early on Saturday morning (like 6 am) to do the cleaning so everything would be done by the time the Saturday morning cartoons came on and they could have fun the rest of the weekend. They whined about it at the time, but then they saw how much better it was tha the way their friends’ families did it.

    My (step)mom was on a very strict cleaning schedule and is a compulsive cleaner to this day, but she was unwilling to use the same abusive methods on us that her mother did, so I am very messy (which is also an ADHD manifestation).

  62. 62.

    muddy

    @mai naem mobile: I thought John was the baby?

    My son and I decided not to do Mother’s Day after he got out of grade school, I said I expect to be appreciated every day, and not for some corporate bs. After he grew up he instituted a new tradition, he calls on Father’s Day and wishes me happy Parent’s Day. I asked wasn’t that corporate too, but he says really it’s subversive because we are doing it wrong.

  63. 63.

    Belafon

    My parents couldn’t figure out how I, at 8 months old, was getting out of the crib until one night they hear me scream. I had found a loose rail and would lift it up to get out. That night my leg got stuck when the rail came back down.

  64. 64.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    ” They put me in the crib, I stood up with my back to the crib, reach up, and flipped myself out.”

    And the creationists have a hard time believing that apes and humans are related….

  66. 66.

    raven

    @Tommy: I got that, like I argue here all the fucking time, C-U and the midwest is as racist and backwards as Baton Rouge. There was a painting prof at Illinois named Billy Morrow Jackson. He was an Okinawa Marine and married to a woman of color. Motherfuckers burned a cross on his lawn in Urbana but they were smart enough to do it under the cover of darkness because he didn’t play that shit.

  67. 67.

    Gene108

    Anybody know what the life expectancy of a big-ass hornet is?

    Weather’s been great, so I leave my window open. I have a row of three windows in my living room. One on the right opens, but the screen has a hole in it, which the hornet must of climbed through.

    For the weekend the hornet has hung out in the center pane, which is stuck shut at the moment (I have old crappy windows that tend to get stuck, if you close them fully like I have to do in winter) not quit grasping that it cannot fly through the glass nor remembering how it got in.

    I do not open the other window because the AC’s for the side of the building in my condo sit there and keeping it closed helps limit the noise a bit.

    I figure any attempts to dislodge it will probably lead to me being stung, which I want to avoid – because it is a big-ass hornet – so I do not mind leaving it where it is.

    I am just hoping it has a limited life span vis-a-vis myself, so it will just drop dead of old age in a few days.

    Am I on the right track with the things life span or can it live for weeks or months?

  69. 69.

    Gene108

    @efgoldman:

    Thanks.

    Also, I have a question about what criteria you used to pick the hospital you went to to get on the kidney transplant list.

    My nephrologists office gave me a list of hospitals, as I think they do not want to prejudice my decision, they gave me some general guidelines to evaluate which one to choose, such as (1) check with my insurance to make sure which provider is covered and (2) check on the Medicare website as to how many transplants they do a year and what their success rate is.

    I am just wondering what else to do?

  71. 71.

    raven

    @efgoldman: I think about how lucky I was when I broke my back and ended up in the big public hospital in Atlanta. The hospital was a zoo but the orthopods were from Emory and they were top notch!

  72. 72.

    Gene108

    @efgoldman:

    Thanks for the input. I think PennMedical (associated with the University of Pennsylvania) will probably be my first choice.

  75. 75.

    Corner Stone

    @Tommy:

    That is all you got from post?

    What would one be expected to get from your post? People are horrible everywhere, or your Homie mom don’t play that shit?
    Presumably your friend Woody went home every night to a potentially abusive situation when he wasn’t being ferried about by said rock star driver?

  77. 77.

    Kathleen

    @Cckids: Heh heh. When my daughter was a teenager I just finally closed the door. I should have really pushed her to keep her room clean but I didn’t, which was hard for me because I’m pretty anal about my place. I just joked that anyone who entered her space needed shots and a passport.

    Well, suffering parents, I’m here to tell you there is hope. She now has 2 boys, and they are 20 times worst than she ever thought of being. Karma is a bee-yatch. One of the reasons grandparents bond so well with their grandchildren.

  79. 79.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Tommy: Remember that raven’s old man had black and white co-captains on the hs basketball team he coached ~ 30+ years before you were born, so the whole scenario in your high school days is rather less remarkable to raven than to you.

  84. 84.

    dexwood

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    Coolest thing ever, among other coolest things ever, is to sit in the amphitheater at Carlsbad Caverns at dusk, facing the entrance to the cave as millions of bats fly out of it, heading into the night. Dawn, same thing, but in reverse.

  85. 85.

    SWMBO

    And as my darling husband reminded me (it’s been a few years), our daughter at around one year would hold onto the side of the crib and jump until her butt cleared. She would then be hanging on the outside of the crib and would let go and wander about. We didn’t have cell phones then or there would have been video.

  86. 86.

    Steeplejack

    @Gene108:

    I take a small glass, put it over the bug on the window, then slide an index carin between the glass and the windowpane to trap the bug in the glass. Then you can safely escort it outside.

  91. 91.

    Paul in KY

    @Tommy: Your mom does sound cool. Would hope that all our moms would have gotten the hell out of there after those vile comments.

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