I’m ashamed to admit it, but the mister and I are giddy about these stupid debates tonight. We’re connoisseurs of the absurd, and this is our all-you-can-eat buffet. It would be fully enjoyable if the stakes weren’t so high.
JV Debate Open Thread
[Not quite O/T] Any life-science professionals among us? Just had a genius product idea: an easily administered, harmless pill that would make dog poop a vivid color that would stand out in an earth-toned yard. So you wouldn’t fucking step in it.
Mark
Lindsey Graham is promising to do a full on invasion of the Middle East.
skerry
I once had a dog that ate crayons. That made for some colorful poop.
JPL
@Mark: Keep us updated cuz I quit.
KG
at least for the happy hour debate, I’ve decided instead of streaming it, i’m just going to follow along via comment sections – here, LGF, and the American Spectator’s blog. i figure this will keep me slightly more sane.
Elizabelle
Popped in. Looked kind of listless. AF One in background. Lindsey Graham talking about the 1%. And he’s speaking of the military.
Which it sounded like he wanted to send off again to fight, but hit the remote.
ABC News now: story about Ahmed. More interesting than no chance no hope Repubs.
? Martin
@Mark: Finally going to invade Israel, eh?
Elizabelle
Ahmed is going to the White House.
And he says he’s looking for a new school.
Baud
I might make Ahmed my running mate.
Baud!/Ahmed! 2016!
JPL
@Elizabelle: Why do republicans always have secret plans to take care of the enemy?
Mark
@JPL:
It’s painful to watch, but I’m trying.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Mark: Dear Villagers: could somebody ask Graham or McCain how we’re going to pay for their wars?
Baud
@JPL:
1). They have no plan.
2). If they had a plan, it would be dumb.
beltane
Very low on alcohol here. I need to stock up for primary season.
Felonius Monk
Watching these republican idiots “debate” is about as much fun as watching a dog shit — actually watching the dog wins.
MomSense
@skerry:
Ha! I had a kid who ate them. Whoo was that a surprise when I opened that diaper.
LesGS
Well, my godson once ate green sidewalk chalk when he was 18 months. The resulting poop was an astonishing and alarming lime green, incidentally produced on St. Patrick’s Day. A little powdered chalk, of one’s color choice added to their feed, perhaps? It’s supposed to be non-toxic.
Elizabelle
@JPL: I assume the enemy in this case is “prosperity”?
Couldn’t tell you. I’m back to a Law & Order rerun. And I even remember who did it. (It’s the ex-wife, I think.)
JPL
@Felonius Monk: I watched for ten minutes.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Felonius Monk: if Trump shat in technicolor, it would be incredible. and hyooge. You could see it from space, next to the wall.
Mark
Pataki says he won’t send the illegals back. Kiss your campaign goodbye dude.
Elizabelle
@Felonius Monk: Whereas, the dog feels relieved and maybe even happy once it’s over.
Keith G
Listening to a replay of Prime Minister’s Questions (Today in Parliament, BBC 4). Fun stuff. Corbyn does not sound like a man who will live down to the predictions that flashed about everywhere. He sounds like a very smart and cagey operator.
Baud
@Mark:
Pataki has Gilmore’d himself.
Elizabelle
The late, great James Rebhorn as defense attorney. Law & Order.
Warren Terra
I lack the right life science expertise to be genuinely helpful. I could suggest Serratia infection of th intestine – that’ll give you a bright vivid red, at least in culture – but it would not be great for the dog.
JPL
@Baud: Whoops.. I forgot about Gilmore. Where is he?
beltane
@Mark:
Being that there was no campaign to speak of, Pataki has nothing to lose by speaking sane words.
benw
@Baud:
At least you’d know what time it is.
Baud
@JPL:
Not invited because he’s not popular enough.
Betty Cracker
Santorum is coming across as a mean-spirited prick — can you believe it?!?!? And damn, Graham is ripping him a new asshole on immigration!
JPL
@Baud: None of them are very popular, though.
raven
I like watching them insult each other.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I hadn’t yet found out I liked beets when I had an omnivorous labrador, but I bet he woulda ate ’em.
raven
@Betty Cracker: How can he find it, he’s all asshole?
Amir Khalid
Right now, I’m imagining the commercials for Alpo Hi-Viz Dog Kibble. “Available in your choice of Traffic-Cone Orange or Safety-Vest Yellow!”
Baud
@Betty Cracker:
For economy of words.
raven
Howdy Fucking Doody goes off the rails.
Baud
@JPL: they’re better than Gilmore.
Mark
@Betty Cracker:
Lindsey understands the demographic time bomb we are facing. Too bad he is so obtuse in other areas.
Now he’s back to invading Iraq.
Roger Moore
@JPL:
They keep their plans secret so nobody will laugh at them.
Amir Khalid
@JPL:
Missed the cut, so I hear.
raven
STAB IN THE BACK!!!!
Baud
@benw:
:-)
Helen
They’re all wearing the same suit.
Baud
@Helen:
It must be pretty tight.
Mike E
@Baud:
Sounds like the winning ticket in Uzbeki-beki-bekistan-stan.
Helen
@Baud:
BWA HA HA! BURN!
Roger Moore
Betty @top:
I think what you want is a brightly colored inorganic pigment that will pass through their digestive system unaltered. There should be plenty of choices.
raven
Deport this fucker
Mark
Bobby Jindal is now claiming Christians are being persecuted.
Baud
@Mike E:
I’m focusing on the Malay vote right now. I can’t worry about the Uzbeki-beki-bekistan-stanians.
JPL
@Helen: And it’s NYFW….
Mary G
Ooh, Pataki said that the Kentucky clerk should have been fired for not doing her job. No applause at all.
Felonius Monk
I hope Lindsey is wearing a double set of Depends tonight — he is such a pantz-wetter.
Peale
@Mark: he’s only n favor of immigration because his plan for the Middle East involves a standing army of 5,000,000 troops, and three dozen Gurkhas.
BobTX
So I see someone beat me to the punch – our dog used to eat crayons all the time which added rainbow-flecks to the landmines.
PS: I love that this is my first comment after reading this blog since close to its beginnings.
? Martin
@Roger Moore: Glow in the dark would be a bonus.
shell
@raven: Youll have to be more specific. Which Howdy-Doody
Mary G
@BobTX: What took you so long? Welcome.
Jeffro
Wow, what a “deep bench” for the GOP: Graham, Santorum, Jindal, and Pataki. SO much talent…thanks right-wing relatives, I finally get it now.
Christie, Walker, Paul: you’re next.
Amir Khalid
@Helen:
Remember the early 1960s, when rock bands often played gigs with all the members wearing identical suits? That may be the general idea.
shell
For those seeking refuge. ‘Breathless’ on TCM at 8pm.
beltane
My aunt’s German Shepard once ate an air plant that turned her poop an extremely bright green. Maybe that would be something to try.
trollhattan
@Amir Khalid:
So they’re The Temptations? How are the dance moves? (Not watching, not gonna’.)
trollhattan
@beltane:
An “air plant”? Tiny factory that makes air? Plant that flies?
beltane
@Jeffro: The Republicans are making “deep bench” sound like a euphemism for “toilet bowl”.
raven
@shell: hindal
beltane
@trollhattan: The member of the plant kingdom the dog ate was part of this genus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tillandsia
It did not make the dog ill and she lived to be 16 which is a good age for a German Shepard.
JPL
I reading the NYTimes updates since I’m not crazy enough to watch. I sure hope someone had Kim Davis for their drinking game. If not, no alcohol will be consumed.
Benw
@BobTX: gabba gabba, we accept you, one of us.
Helen
Up till now I have been neutral about Jindal. Meaning he never really crossed my radar screen. Not anymore. Holy nuts he’s an idiot.
ETA: Except for the Kenneth the Page thing. I remember that. Good Times.
Joel
GFP expressing probiotic? Would get in all sorts of trouble with various regulatory agencies I think.
JPL
Elizabelle mentioned on the previous blog, that Ahmed was going to be on ABC news. What a cute boy.
Just once, I wish someone would mention that If Irving High School were so concerned, they should have evacuated the school.
Jeffro
@beltane: What kills me is the A-team, not the bench: Trump, Christie, Paul, Huck, Rubio, Kaisch, Fiorina, Walker, Carson, Bush, and Cruz. At least half of those clowns talk as if they’d like to take their supporters and go to war with the other half of the country. For all intents and purposes they talk as if they consider women, minorities, lower-income families, and/or non-religious Americans their #1 enemy.
Gin & Tonic
@BobTX: Guys named Bob have set a high bar around this place.
Felonius Monk
Could someone please convince Lindsey to lock himself in a bunker somewhere and not come out until all the Muslims are gone — how this fetid little paranoid twerp can even get up in the morning is beyond me. I wonder if he hides under his bed at night so the evil ISIS boogie-man won’t find him. And this mental midget thinks he has what it takes to be President.
trollhattan
In related (alcohol, lots of alcohol) news, the world’s greatest purveyors of shitty beer are, like beer galaxies that are inexorably drawn together due to their enormous masses, perhaps combining their forces for evil. No earthly good will come of this, unless perhaps Fiorina lands there as CEO.
Shame on BBC for not putting that last “beer” in scare quotes.
Elizabelle
Lindsey and Benghazi. Come on.
Shaun Appleby
“an honest socialist and lying conservatives”? Oh, Bobby. Spank me!
Gin & Tonic
@Amir Khalid: You’re not watching the debate(s), are you? I can’t imagine how awful it would be to start off the day like that – orders of magnitude worse than those masochists here who turn on the Joe&Mika show in the morning.
Elizabelle
Yes, if Lindsey Graham is president, we will all definitely drink more.
He’s kind of entertaining. Would be fun to see him up against Trump.
But this idea that he, a second-term Senator, is not an elite? Puh-leez.
Benw
@Felonius Monk: I’m walking my dogs right now, so I’m literally preferring to watch dogs shit than the debate.
gelfling545
@beltane:
Wow. That’s so crazy it just might work.
If the GOP gets exhausted from constantly being constantly overwrought, that is. A long shot, but a shot.
Felonius Monk
Santorum is so full of shit.
Calouste
@trollhattan: I can’t see that getting past the European Commission. They’d probably have a near monopoly in some markets there.
Heliopause
Jindal needs to smoke pot or something. Dude’s very wound up. Maybe take up Graham’s idea and drink more.
Tim F.
Life scientist here. Get a tub of powdered fluorescein and sprinkle a little on their food. It will just about glow in the dark.
Patricia Kayden
I will read about the highlights from today’s debates tomorrow. I’m wondering exactly how many debates Republicans are going to have this time around. Last time, they must have had around 50.
I have no problem with the six debates the Democrats are planning to have. That’s more than enough to hear about the candidates’ positions although some candidates want more.
http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2015/08/31/democratic-candidates-say-six-debates-isnt-enough/
Amir Khalid
@Gin & Tonic:
Thank god, no. Swapping sarcastic remarks about it with the Juicitariat is so much more entertaining. But if someone posts highlights on YouTube and they are recommended watching, I might watch those.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
The one bright spot in this mess– beside the fury I’m sure Jeb?’s lack of energy is causing at Walker’s Point– is seeing that Lindsey Graham’s desperate war-mongering is getting zero traction. Not that the electorate won’t be quick to panic if things start to heat up (see October, 2014), but it seems to me even Jeb is mostly harping on how he would’ve won in Iraq, not how he’s going to.
Davis X. Machina
@Patricia Kayden:
No! No! There must be scores of them. It’s the only way to cause the scales to fall from Democrats’ eyes about Hillary! The small number of debates is part of her master plan….
BillinGlendaleCA
@Baud: You might want to consult a lawyer about that, I don’t think he’s eligible. Wait…did you skip out on Con Law that day?
Shaun Appleby
“Red” Santorum on the minimum wage; when he said “worker” he nearly choked up. “How are you going to win?” Not a bad question, frankly, Rick.
I’m hearing more actual debate on policy, and dissent from GOP catechism, then I would have ever imagined from national GOP candidates.
Roger Moore
@Jeffro:
This is why we want them to have more debates. The more they say what they really think, the more they hurt themselves with the general public.
Baud
@BillinGlendaleCA:
The Constitution says only natural born citizens can be President, but that didn’t stop Obama.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Tweety has rooted around in an old rolodex he found in a box in the attic and brought JC Watts on my TeeVee
ETA: And Tweety brings up Trump as Romney’s designated Birther! IT was racist and disgusting and you guys let it happen and now it’s come home to roost.
Good on him
ETAagain: He called out some Republicans by name, but not the media, so…. I’ll give him a solid B+
Amir Khalid
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Shhh! Don’t tell anyone.
MazeDancer
Six debates for the Democrats seems too many already. Why would we want more? No one wants to watch more. Few will watch past two.
Three is plenty. Four more than plenty.
Mandalay
8.3 earthquake off the coast of Chile!
http://wcatwc.arh.noaa.gov/events/PAAQ/2015/09/16/nuskyv/2/WEAK53/WEAK53.txt
Baud
@MazeDancer:
Agree.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
Son ate a box of rainbow nilla wafers when he was little. That was interesting.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@MazeDancer: @Baud: me three, four, or five, or whatever. What we call debates are just serial press conferences as everybody looks for a chance to drop that pre-fab bon mot.
I started to say I would like to say Clinton and Sanders in an actual debate, but how many times could Clinton say “That’s great. How are you gonna get it passed? Have you met Claire McCaskill? What about Joe Manchin?”
grandpa john
@JPL: This. I went through a couple of bomb threat calls quite a few years ago before I retired. In those days the policy was that there would be immediate evacuation of the building if a threat was received ,The evacuation was ordered by the school administration immediately no waiting on police or fireman,We would already be heading out the door by the time they got there. Each teacher had an assigned area to take their classes to following an evacuation plan that was posted.
Tommy
My god. Lindsey just sounded sane.
equs_1776
Just got back from buying hooch for the show. Several people in line commented they were doing the same. Great minds are impaired alike.
JPL
@grandpa john: The principal needs to be fired. He’s either an idiot for suspending Ahmed or he didn’t follow protocol in what to do with a bomb threat.
beltane
From what I gather, Jindal is the only one so far who hasn’t had at least one lucid moment. This should mark him as the winner in the minds of the GOP faithful.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Heliopause:
Maybe Dr. Carson could hook him up with some.
SRW1
@Benw:
You appear to type pretty good while walking. Ever considered adding chewing gum to make it a real challenge?
PIGL
Even more alarming than your concept of festive fecal deposits, I met once a farmer who laid out offerings of construction paper in order to decorate the inside of his barn with brightly-colored wasps nest. It was a strangely disturbing sight.
Mark
@equs_1776: I already had a supply of hooch. I just got back from buying a couple of steaks and a few smokes to carry me through the night.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Amir Khalid: I’m pushing for the Baud!!/Amir!2016 ticket.
MomSense
These people are so boring that even the outrageous things they say seem unremarkable.
Mark
Lindsey is such a bad ass. He’s been to the middle east 35 times. He got his-self a combat lawyer badge. He a hero!
SRW1
@Tim F.:
Don’t you have to carry a UV flashlight to make that work?
Baud
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Too much handsome for one ticket.
Tommy
@BillinGlendaleCA: I live in a very blue state. We relect Repubicans. Lets get on. The crazy.
Amir Khalid
@BillinGlendaleCA:
How come I get only one exclamation point?
benw
@SRW1:
Standing around watching dogs poo gives one a lot of time to type on one’s iPhone. How would giving the dogs chewing gum make walking more difficult?
Cervantes
@Amir Khalid:
Maybe Baud needs two?
SiubhanDuinne
I keep hearing about “Air Force One” being the backdrop. If I’m not mistaken (haven’t tried to verify, so could well be wrong), any plane the (current) President of the United States is on is “AF1” even if it’s not the craft all tricked out with luxury appointments and special security apparatus. The backdrop plane at the Reagan Library may well be the actual aircraft that was known as AF1 during all or part of Reagan’s presidency, but I think once he left office the plane lost that designation.
As I say, could be way wrong here, and happy to be corrected if that’s the case.
Cervantes
@SiubhanDuinne:
You’re right.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Tweety barking: Who’s gonna make the headlines?
me: Somebody who isn’t going to be president
Mike in NC
My brother and his wife are visiting and apparently are political junkies, so we are stuck with watching the shitshow on CNN. The candidates and the journalists are all despicable assholes.
SRW1
@benw:
Ya mean dogs outperform a President?
HumboldtBlue
does this thing work?
Fuckin’-A it does.
Tim F.
@SRW1: Nah. It will be plenty bright-colored on its own. Now add a blue LED flashlight and you could read a paper by it.
benw
@SRW1: In a thousand ways…
Olivia
Feed your dogs lots of beets. Healthy and colorful.
rk
Massive earthquake in Chile and Tsunami warnings for Hawaii. mass evacuations ordered (as per guardian)
NotMax
@rk
Tsunami watch, not warning. No confirmation that tsunami waves were generated yet.
That’s 12 hours from now.
NotMax
@NotMax
A little more.If tsunami waves impact Hawaii, the estimated earliest arrival of the first tsunami wave is 3:11 a.m. HST on Thursday, September 17. Currently, forecasters say waves of 0.3 to 1 meter above the tide level are possible.
Calming Influence
Luciferase. Stick the DNA sequence for the protein in a viral vector targeted to the cells lining the large intestine. Shit will glow in the dark. Any other biology problems you need solved?
Calming Influence
@SiubhanDuinne: Former Air Force –
When I was active service there were 4 Air Force “One”s. The one the President was on was “One”. The same applied to Marine helicopters – the one the President was on was “Marine One.”
Paul in KY
@Keith G: Good!
bluefoot
Back in my pre-scientist days, methylene blue was the preferred pigment of choice for practical jokes of that nature. (jokes on humans, not dogs) It’s a pretty intense blue, so I don’t know if it will light up the poop the way you want.