Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

T R E 4 5 O N

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

No one could have predicted…

The willow is too close to the house.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / JEB! = John Ellis Not-Bush 2016 / Tuesday Evening Open Thread: Peak NYT Mealymouth

Tuesday Evening Open Thread: Peak NYT Mealymouth

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Because of the SSL issues referenced in the last post, I can’t post links properly, but I wanted to state for the record that this article (Debate Offers Jeb Bush a Chance to Take the Family Gloves Off: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/15/us/politics/republican-debate-jeb-bush.html) reaches some kind of apotheosis of the Grey Lady’s inability to call things by their proper names:

… The Republican debate on Tuesday in Las Vegas provides Mr. Bush with a highly anticipated platform to forcefully take on his rivals. After faltering in a previous debate exchange with Senator Marco Rubio, Mr. Bush — perhaps more than anyone else onstage — might be compelled to prove he has the strength and passion not just to lead the nation, but to hold his own in the aggressive Colosseum of modern politics.

That could be tricky for a man whose family code is one of polite gentility and even bipartisanship, not angry yelling and boorishness.

That hardball, in-the-trenches style of politics, said friends, aides and scholars of the three men, goes against the ethos of the blue-blooded dynasty with roots in New England, where manners and decorum were ingrained not just at the dinner table but in the halls and playing fields of Andover.

“Even the most visceral of the Bushes, George W. Bush, has been averse to that kind of pugnation,” said Robert Draper, the author of “Dead Certain: The Presidency of George W. Bush.” “The charitable view of it is manners — it’s better not to flash anger and swing elbows. The less charitable view is it derives from a kind of superiority that Bushes don’t fight in alleys.”

Ron Kaufman, who served in the first President Bush’s administration and is a longtime friend of the family, said Jeb Bush in particular was more of a serious-minded policy aficionado than a political fighter…

Even for a dedicated professional coatholder like Ron Kaufman, that is a lot of bullshit to cram into one sentence.
***********
Apart from the ever-enjoyable spectable of REPUBS IN DISARRAY!, what’s on the agenda for the evening?

Reader Interactions

135Comments

  2. 2.

    Alain the site fixer

    Anne Laurie, check the site header – it has the IP address you need, perhaps in your VPN config you have the address for Balloon Juice and it moved!

  4. 4.

    BGinCHI

    “Despite John Wilkes’ playful interlude with a pistol, the Booth family enjoys an enviable position as the first family of the American Theater.”

    –NY Times, April 15, 1865

  5. 5.

    NotMax

    Jeb has so many pre-rehearsed one-liners to remember to spout that any other utterances are bound to be, to put it charitably, murky.

  10. 10.

    Baud

    Whatever happened to Jeb’s 15-minute video? I remember the run-up to it, but if it’s happened, it made no splash at all.

  11. 11.

    Cermet

    Bush family not being dirty, foul, criminal thugs is like the thug party being honest – won’t ever happen.

  16. 16.

    trollhattan

    I can’t wait.

    John Bush [to whomever]: “Apologize for calling my wife a foreigner slut.”
    Whomever: “No.”

    And, scene.

  18. 18.

    Baud

    @NotMax: OMG, if Jeb! slaps The Donald across the face with his mink gloves and says “I demand satisfaction,” I will be as happy as a little child.

  19. 19.

    Feudalism Now!

    The gloves are off the Brinks trucks? Jeb? has failed to become any more lively in 6 months, I don’t think desperation is going to provide a spark. More likely, it will just seem… desperate.

  21. 21.

    scav

    @efgoldman: Marking the end of Clauses? This war on Christmas is everywhere! And then the end of sentences?! All the criminals released, All the Willie Hortons!! This nation certainly is certainly going to the pugs . . .

  22. 22.

    trollhattan

    @Feudalism Now!:
    I seem to recall Walker “suspended” his campaign. Perhaps a de-suspension and Koch-powered triumphant return is in order. He can rush the stage holding a boombox aloft.

  23. 23.

    rk

    It’s true to some extent. The Bushes are personally incapable of dealing ruthlessly with an entity like Trump. You need quick thinking and wit to handle Trump. Obama will destroy him in a debate. The Bushes (and the rest of the republican field) will act outraged and have no comebacks to a boor like Trump. That’s why the Bushes always have others do their dirty work. They’re good at dirty advertising and whisper campaigns, but useless at direct confrontation.

  25. 25.

    NotMax

    @efgoldman

    Saw an article last week that the annual take so far is down, considerably. Spokesperson blamed it on the weather not being cold enough, saying that when the temp feels more like Xmas time the donations generally go up (and vice versa)..

  26. 26.

    Cacti

    The Bush family practically invented modern gutter politics.

    But to the courtier press, they’re genteel.

  27. 27.

    NotMax

    @efgoldman

    Surely they’re endangered white Siberian tiger skins.

    The horror! One simply does not wear white after Labor Day!

    Baby harp seal skin okay though, with a brown suit.

  28. 28.

    Roger Moore

    “The charitable view of it is manners — it’s better not to flash anger and swing elbows. The less charitable view is it derives from a kind of superiority that Bushes don’t fight in alleys.”

    A more realistic view is that they let their proxies engage in the mud slinging so they can keep their own public image clean. It’s not that they’re adverse to smear tactics, it’s just that somebody else has to do them.

  30. 30.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Roger Moore:
    I propose that they’re so used to being given what they want and sucked up to as natural god-kings that they’ve never had to learn wit. Jeb has demonstrated well that when people dare to defy him he throws furious sulks. They’re just ineffectual, sad, easily ignored sulks.

  35. 35.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Baud:
    I think Shiavo is an important point here. Jeb’s actions in that matter, and afterwards, display clearly what a mean, spiteful little fuck he is, and how he has no scruples if anyone gets in his way. At the same time, he only knows how to kick down at people who are vastly less powerful than him. Put against actual opposition, he doesn’t know what to do.

  36. 36.

    Ripley

    @rk:

    You need quick thinking and wit to handle Trump. Obama will destroy him in a debate.

    Third term’s a charm? I’m all for it….

  39. 39.

    dogwood

    I don’t think it’s just the Bush family that leaves the dirty work to lackeys. It has been pretty standard that the candidate stays civil and lets the underlings do the smearing. That started to end when Sarah Palin hit the runway. Trump is taking it to the next level.

  42. 42.

    bemused

    @rk:

    No one would ever describe the Bush family as quick witted. Dull, boring and I think the best lines have been written for them. The exception would be Barbara. She’s been known to let loose with some fast zingers, mean-spirited and disdainful but she’s quick on the draw, no mercy.

  43. 43.

    feebog

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Jeb’s actions in that matter, and afterwards, display clearly what a mean, spiteful little fuck he is, and how he has no scruples if anyone gets in his way.

    You describe it perfectly. I would add that Jeb! has no sense of humor whatsoever. GWB could crack a joke, even it was usually mean spirited and/or derogatory. I keep going back to the Correspondent’s dinner wherein Obama tore Trump up with his monolog. That took a sense of humor plus great timing and delivery. Obama has demonstrated he can do this in prepared remarks or spontaneously. Jeb! can do neither.

  44. 44.

    Punchy

    @efgoldman: Maybe if they weren’t so homophobic and anti-SSM, they might get a few more peeps to shake the goddamn bell. As is, I wont even donate a penny to those bigoted effers.

  46. 46.

    dogwood

    You know, politics, ideology, and family connections aside, Jeb just doesn’t have the persona or personality suitable for a presidential candidate. And that’s not a knock on him. Few people are suited temperamentally to run for that office. What he has shown is his lack of self awareness of that fact. That alone disqualifies him, the same way it took guys like Lincoln Chaffee and Jim Webb off the stage. Having the money to run doesn’t mean you have the chops to run.

  47. 47.

    scav

    @srv: Yup, there’s a role model. Doesn’t matter what they do, if they’re a friend, you support them. Hold down whoever they’re kicking. Or raping. Or deporting. Just don’t drag me into the debate over if kicking or raping or deporting is ethical. Doesn’t matter. They’re my friend and I’m all for them. See also teammate or fellow LEO.

  48. 48.

    geg6

    I refuse to pay one iota of attention to the Rethugs tonight. Plus Wokf Blitzer will be moderating, which guarantees that the entire thing will be a farce.

    Me, I’m feeling unusually serene and organized for the holiday season. This is quite unusual for me because I procrastinate like crazy because I hate this holiday with a passion. But I have all my ornaments bought as gifts for our annual girlfriends luncheon. I have my ingredients bought for the haluski I’m making for the Admissioins/Student Aid/Student Affairs potluck, which I’ll put together tomorrow evening and store it in the crock of the crock pot overnight and just plug it in when I get to work Thursday AM. Got one more shopping trip, which I’ll do in Sewickley with a friend on Wednesday next week and make a day of it. The only thing I’m behind on is decorating the tree. It is up and lit, but no ornaments yet. Hopefully, that will happen over the weekend. I’m exhausted just thinking about what I have already done (planned my contribution to the family meal, got crisp $50 bills for the nieces, got John’s gift, etc.) but at least I’m actually crossing things off the list.

  53. 53.

    raven

    OK breast cancer experts. My friend went through the double mastectomy , chemo, and radiation. Over Thanksgiving she went in for breast reconstruction and they picked up some spots on her lung. PET scan Monday showed some “hot” spots so they do a needle biopsy tomorrow. This doesn’t look good to me but I don’t really know.

  58. 58.

    Eric S.

    I know some of you will appreciate this. I’m at the local watering hole for some dinner and adult beverages. Right now, Tom Waits song just came on. Sadly I’m not familiar enough to identify the song.

  60. 60.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    Turns out the group — which in fact referred to itself as “the GROUP” — has been struggling to reach a self-imposed 75 percent supermajority threshold for agreement on a single candidate. Coincidentally or not, Ted Cruz finally achieved that threshold in a meeting during the first week of December

    I’m sorry, but after reading that, all I could think of was Doug and Dinsdale, and “The Other Operation.” But that led my addled brain to explore various pathways, and realized that Rafael “I’m not really ‘Murican, but I play one on TV” Cruz looks like a fairly large hedgehog. Not as large as Spiny Norman, of course, but still …

  62. 62.

    raven

    @JPL: Yea, she was my colleague until August and now she’s my boss. She’s been through so much already it’s just a real bummer.

  64. 64.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @raven: I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I’m not a doc, nor do I play one on the internet.

    Mets to the lung are one of the common sites. The “good” news is that if she has no respiratory symptoms it may be pretty early in tumor development. The better news is that targeted met treatment has improved and can offer treatment as a chronic condition. Among the items of consideration for her oncologist are the specific type of primary breast cancer and whether supportive post op hormonal treatment (e.g, Tamoxifen) was appropriate, along with stage at surgery.

    My best wishes for all of you.

  66. 66.

    Gimlet

    Ugh!

    A 31-year-old woman in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, has become the latest person to fall foul of the creeping criminalization of pregnancy after she was charged and jailed for attempted first-degree murder following a failed self-induced abortion.

    Anna Yocca faces the possibility of a life sentence after she was indicted by a grand jury in Rutherford County for attempting to kill her unborn child.

    Yocca was 24 weeks pregnant in September when she allegedly attempted to induce a miscarriage using a coat hanger. According to local news reports based on accounts from the arresting police officers, she lay in a bath before piercing herself with the hanger but became alarmed by the amount of blood she was losing

  70. 70.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    Cruz really has no good qualities except for the fact that he is a polished speaker

    And it would appear that most of that polish gets used on his hair.

  72. 72.

    Betty

    No, it doesn’t sound good. I do know someone who has had breast cancer that moved to her lungs. She has managed to carry on for quite a few years- but with a good bit of ongoing chemo.

  73. 73.

    JDM

    @efgoldman: The Salvation Army is a conservative Christian religion. Maybe they do some good with people with substance abuse or other useful activity? They follow the usual fundy dogma including that women are inherently less capable than men. For anyone who is religious, just donate to your own church. If they don’t do anything to help the less fortunate, why are you a member? And if you are not religious, why give to a fundy religion? Maybe your comment was neutral, but I just have not understood why everyone gives this one denomination the permission fund drive during Christmas and no one else is able to displace them.

  74. 74.

    Gimlet

    @Baud:

    Wiki

    In a letter to the New York Times, gynecologist Waldo L. Fielding wrote:

    The familiar symbol of illegal abortion is the infamous “coat hanger” — which may be the symbol, but is in no way a myth. In my years in New York, several women arrived with a hanger still in place. Whoever put it in — perhaps the patient herself — found it trapped in the cervix and could not remove it.
    …
    However, not simply coat hangers were used.
    Almost any implement you can imagine had been and was used to start an abortion — darning needles, crochet hooks, cut-glass salt shakers, soda bottles, sometimes intact, sometimes with the top broken off.[5]

  75. 75.

    Felonius Monk

    @Baud:

    he is a polished speaker.

    But his voice is like nails on a chalkboard, so it takes the shine off the polish.

    Anyone watching the Early Turds? Lindsay was crying a little while ago about how he just hated what Obama did in Iraq. He’s such a whiny little shit.

  76. 76.

    Baud

    Horrible.

    The water in Flint, Michigan, poisoned the town’s children with lead for months. Now the mayor of Flint has declared a state of emergency, saying that the elevated lead levels will have long-lasting effects in its children.

    Four percent of the town’s children have elevated levels of lead in their bloodstream — double the share affected a few years ago, according to tests from Flint’s Hurley Medical Center and confirmed by the state

    This all came about because a struggling Rust Belt city, trying to save money, ended up failing at one of its most basic tasks, providing safe drinking water. And the city compounded the problem by ignoring months of warnings from activists who felt its water was not safe to drink.

  77. 77.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    Isn’t that one of the signs of the apocalypse?

    Well, they are the Four Horses’ Asses of the Apocalypse — but I can never remember if they’re Pestilence, Famine, and War, or Psychosis, Assholery, and Dumbfuckery. (Yes, I know that’s only three.)

  80. 80.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    And the city compounded the problem by ignoring months of warnings from activists who felt its water was not safe to drink.

    So it’s all the fault of the DFHs again. Damn them!

  81. 81.

    raven

    @JDM:
    was lying in the gutter, all guzzled up with beer,
    Pretzels in my whiskers, I knew the end was near,
    But a bowl of beans and Jesus’ tears they saved me from the hearse
    Glory, Glory hallelujah sing the second verse,

    Chorus:

    Hallelu, Hallelu, put a nickel on the drum,
    Save another drunken bum.
    Hallelu, Hallelu, put a nickel on the drum,
    And you’ll be saved

  82. 82.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    Yeah, I was having a philosophical/theological/epistemological/clueless argument with myself as to whether I should include him.

    ETA: Although, in fairness, whatever his flaws, he’s not in the same universe of assholishness, nutjobishness, and stupidity as the other three.

  83. 83.

    Gimlet

    @Baud:

    “An Enemy of the People”

    The Burgomaster comes in to discuss the baths with Dr. Stockmann. He asks Dr. Stockmann if he checked to see how much new pipes would cost and how long it would take.

    They would cost around sixty thousand dollars and would take two years to relay. In the meantime, the baths would have to be closed down and after word got around that they were poisonous, no one would ever come to them anymore and the town would be literally bankrupt.

    He tells Dr. Stockmann that his report will literally ruin the town and that Dr. Stockmann will be responsible for the total destruction of his own town. Dr. Stockmann is shocked, but says that the baths are still contaminated and something must be done. The Burgomaster, however, is not convinced that the condition is as serious as Dr. Stockmann says it is.

  85. 85.

    Relax

    Get ready: the green light is on and Hammertime is a go as of the debate tonight.

    It begins! Jeb is going to be dropping a bomb, like a battlefield in Vietnam.

  86. 86.

    Felonius Monk

    Anybody want to hazard a guess at what point in tonight’s Klown-palooza Jeb? will get pantsed and by whom? Should we start a pool?

  90. 90.

    SFAW

    @Relax:

    It begins! Jeb is going to be dropping a bomb, like a battlefield in Vietnam.

    I think you mean “Jeb is going to be dropping like a bomb, not stopping until his own campaign looks like Dresden.”

  95. 95.

    SFAW

    @Mike J:

    He apologized for pulling Richard Sherman’s hair.

    As well he should – why did he feel the need to pick on an 87-year-old composer?

  99. 99.

    Mandalay

    @Felonius Monk:

    Anyone watching the Early Turds? Lindsay was crying a little while ago about how he just hated what Obama did in Iraq.

    In some ways Graham’s performance this evening has been the most remarkable so far from any GOP candidate. His love of all things military is exceeded only by his seething hatred for President Obama. He is clearly overwrought, and repeatedly on the edge of tears. People regularly joke that Trump, Carson et al are crazy, but the candidate closest to crazy that I have seen is Graham. He really is not a stable person, and way too emotional to be running for president.

  101. 101.

    dmsilev

    @Felonius Monk: Well, !Jeb tried to take down Trump and got his ass handed to him. Then he tried to take down Rubio and got his ass handed to him. Based on past data, I’ll go with “try to take down Cruz, gets his ass handed to him.”

  104. 104.

    SFAW

    @dmsilev:

    Based on past data, I’ll go with “try to take down Cruz, gets his ass handed to him.”

    Big deal, even I could predict that. The only-slightly-more-risky prediction would be “Jeb?!? tries to take down Harold Stassen, gets his ass handed to him.”

  107. 107.

    Felonius Monk

    @Relax:

    34 minutes to HAMMERTIME.

    So, you’re saying that Jeb? gets hammered to a bloody pulp right out of the gate tonight?

  108. 108.

    SFAW

    @Relax:

    Yeah, you’ll need to get hammered when Jeb starts crying when Rubio gets in his (figurative) face, and Trump calls Jeb? “a dummy,” and all Jeb? can say in response is “Oh yeah? Yo’ Momma!”

    Try not to drive anywhere after getting shitfaced. But if you do, can you bequeath us the supply of clues that you don’t have? There must be brazillions.

  111. 111.

    Relax

    Get these losers off the stage and bring on the Main Event.

    Hammers are going to be droppin’ left and right from the hands of Jeb. Get ready !

    The Lee Arwater dirty tricks start tonight too. As H.W. Said about Perot when he whined aboutRepublocan dirty tricks”–“if you can’t stand the heat, Donald, buy an air conditioning company!”

    We’ve got extensive dirt on Ivanka.

  112. 112.

    BruceFromOhio

    If you, poor soul, have the tenacity,the intestinal fortitude, to not only watch but also listen to a Republican debate, it is beyond my comprehension to pity you, or laugh at you, or simply dismiss you as mad beyond words.

    May Gaia bless your lands, your life, your loves.

  114. 114.

    Baud

    I hope Jeb and Mr. Trump’s permission before attacking him. Otherwise, Mr. Trump may be angry at Jeb.

  117. 117.

    Baud

    Caught this on the feed.

    “To all of our Muslim friends throughout the world… I am sorry,” Graham said. “He does not represent us.”

  118. 118.

    Felonius Monk

    @Relax: Here’s a little country song for you to help ease the pain coming tonite.

    Each time I leave the debate room when it’s over
    Not feeling any pain at quitting time
    But tonight JEB’s failures found me much too sober
    I can’t drink enough to keep it off my mind

    Tonight the bottle let me down
    And let JEB’s failures come around
    The one true friend I thought I’d found
    Tonight the bottle let me down

    I’ve always had a bottle I could turn to
    And lately I’ve been turnin’ everyday
    But the wine don’t take effect the way it used to
    And I’m hurtin’ in an old familiar way

    Tonight the bottle let me down
    And let JEB’s failures come around
    The one true friend I thought I’d found
    Tonight the bottle let me down
    Tonight the bottle let me down

    You’re welcome.

  119. 119.

    SFAW

    @dmsilev:
    Relaxy Quest? Nah, doesn’t flow.

    Ex-Lax-y Quest? Well, considering the Non-Doughy Pantload that Jeb?!? will drop on hisself tonight, it has possibilities.

  121. 121.

    SFAW

    @Felonius Monk:

    Nice ditty.

    Of course, Racist thought the old line was “I’d rather have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle in front of me,” which explains his comments.

  125. 125.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Relax: We’ve got extensive dirt on Ivanka.

    I know you’re just a pathetic little weasel who acts out on a blog, pretending to represent the campaign and to breathlessly give us insidery stuff, and I know it’s the Bush crime family you’re talking about on the one hand and the preposterous Il Donaldo on the other, but going after candidates’ kids is just the lowest form of scum-sucking.

  129. 129.

    NotMax

    @Relax

    Hammers are going to be droppin’ left and right from the hands of Jeb.

    Hope he remembers to wear his steel-toed wingtips. Broken toes are a bitch.

    What a maroon. And a demonstrated racist, anti-Semitic one, to boot.

  132. 132.

    Elie

    @rk:

    Now don’t minimize those tail gunner Bushes… They prefer poison to knives or bludgeons but trust me, its as natural to them as breathing. Thing is , you won’t be able to say that “they did x to so and so”. Like snake bite, the most lethal snakes bite then withdraw to wait for the victim to become immobile and begin to auto-digest before they swallow em up. Why risk an injury from a thing flailing to stay alive and/or to wound its attacker? The problem that they have with Donald is that that his followers don’t care about the usual issues around his morality, etc that would be the easy lethal blow. That may put them off their game for a little bit but won’t dim their ardor to fuck him in the least bit, IMHO.

  134. 134.

    Anne Laurie

    From the Guardian:

    Vocalist Ayla Brown is back, this time to sing the national anthem (before she sang God Bless America).

    She’s good. CNN chryons her as a singer/entertainer.

    Just out of curiosity, did CNN mention she’s there because Scott “Cosmo Boy” Brown is her daddy?

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