Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Not all heroes wear capes.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

White supremacy is terrorism.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

T R E 4 5 O N

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

In my day, never was longer.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

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Republicans in Disarray!

Well-Earned Schadenfreude Open Thread: C U Next Tuesday, Fer Realz

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Don’t call us, we’ll call you…

… He will be formally arrested and arraigned Tuesday in his hush money case, setting the scene for the historic, shocking moment when a former president is forced to stand before a judge to hear the criminal charges against him.

The indictment remained sealed and the specific charges were not immediately known, but details were confirmed by people who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss information that isn’t yet public.

The streets outside the courthouse where the arraignment will unfold were calm Friday compared with earlier in the week. There were no large-scale demonstrations for or against Trump, though tourists stopped to take selfies and throngs of reporters and police officers remained assembled.

When Trump turns himself in, he’ll be booked mostly like anyone else facing charges, mug shot, fingerprinting and all. But he isn’t expected to be put in handcuffs; he’ll have Secret Service protection and will almost certainly be released that same day…

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Friday Morning Open Thread: Let. Us. SAVOR!

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Friday Morning Open Thread: Let. Us. SAVOR! 2

(Drew Sheneman via GoComics.com)

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Sunday Evening Open Thread: The GOP, Now A Full-Scale Mafia

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“No leaks. . . . This is how we know we’re a real family here.” (Although you can’t really blame Putin for the Huckabees — our own homebred Southrun criminal class has been living its Thieves Code since the Three-Fifths Compromise was ‘enshrined’ in the Constitution.)

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Late Night Open Thread: ‘Leader’ McConnell’s Troops Are Restless

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Chairman Mao remains healthier than ever!… I *would* think this, being a Godless Democrat, but it does not seem to me that #LeaderMcConnell has ever done much to endear himself to his younger colleagues. He’s got the support of born second-rankers like Thune for as long as they can prop up his corpus, but he seems to rules his GOP caucus through a combination of threats and a grinding determination to ‘pwn the libs’. Once he’s no longer there in person to bully the ranks, will envy of the media focus on their equally talentless House peers distract them from holding the tortoise formation solid in 2024?

From the Washington Post, paper of record in the company town whose monopoly industry is national politics, “McConnell phones Senate Republicans, who say he’s ‘eager’ to be back”:

Nearly two weeks after a fall that left him with a concussion and a broken rib, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) spoke on the phone with at least three of his Republican colleagues on Tuesday, expressing a desire to get back to the Capitol but not sharing an exact timeline for his return.

The conversations mark the first time McConnell has spoken directly with anyone on his leadership team — apart from exchanging text messages — since his fall. McConnell had also not spoken directly with President Biden and Majority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.), who both called shortly after the accident.

Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.), McConnell’s top deputy, said he spoke to him for about five minutes on Tuesday…

The 81-year-old senator was hospitalized for five days and treated for a concussion after he tripped while attending a private dinner at a Washington hotel on March 8. Last week, McConnell checked into an inpatient rehabilitation center, his spokesman said, where he’ll receive physical therapy before going home.

Given that timeline, it’s unlikely McConnell will return before the Senate begins a long Easter recess on March 30 that will keep the chamber closed for legislative business until April 17.

“I told him not to be in a big hurry, because we’re not doing anything here,” said Cornyn, who added that McConnell didn’t provide a timetable for his return.

McConnell, who recently became the longest-serving Senate leader, has not been directly leading his deputies from afar. But his staff and other members of the leadership team have been “stepping up” in his absence, Thune said…

Republican senators downplayed his absence’s effect on the workings of the Senate. Sen. Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) said he had noticed no change in how Senate Republicans operate while McConnell had been absent…

To phrase this diplomatically, it’s considered a good day when Sen. Grassley notices enough to match his shoes and put them on the right feet, so: conspicuously low bar to cite.

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Open Thread: What If Ron DeSquamous Is Actually Running for Tucker Carlson’s Job?

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Sure, he probably made a nice chunk from his new “book”, but DeSantis doesn’t come from money, and his is currently a one-income family with three young kids. As many pundits have said, he’s young by presidential-candidate standards, and barring other issues could easily choose to run in 2028, 2032, et al. But a presidential run is always a prime form of brand extension marketing, and a tour on the right-wing anti-chatauqua would no doubt fatten the coffers as well as increasing his exposure to both donors and voters. Pouting & stomping in sassy white shrimper boots may look risible to us normies, but no doubt it’ll seem homey to the fearful geriatrics watching Fox.

On the other side of the equation, Carlson is spiraling, getting ever more shouty over increasingly abstruse forms of far-right vice signalling. And while Rupert Murdoch and his son Lachlan may fake oppositional defiant disorder for the ‘cousin fucking’ rubes, money is still their lodestar, and Little Prince Fishsticks is nothing more than another employee. If Carlson’s mouth keeps writing checks, I doubt he can count on the Murdochs to cover the overdrafts…

Mostly, of course, I like this idea because any such rumors will lead to hurt feelings between Carlson & DeSantis, and Repubs in disarray! is a beautiful thing.

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Open Thread: McConnell Is the Repubs’ Headache, At the Moment

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‘Shaken & disoriented’ — sounds like concussion symptoms… At The Hill, “McConnell’s hospitalization raises questions for GOP’s future”:

Senate Republicans found themselves shaken and disoriented Thursday after finding out their leader Sen. Mitch McConnell (Ky.) was in the hospital after tripping at a private event, raising questions about his health and future leadership of the GOP conference.

McConnell, who in January became the longest serving party leader in Senate history, has led the Senate GOP conference since 2005 and has helped guide his colleagues through some of the biggest moments in recent history — the 2008 financial collapse, the near default of the U.S. government in 2011, the fiscal cliff of 2012, the two impeachment trials of former President Trump and the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol…

“I am a huge fan of Mitch McConnell. I think he has the ability to lead a very diverse group of individuals in a way that is masterful,” said one GOP senator who requested anonymity to discuss the impact of McConnell’s injury on the Senate GOP conference.

“I think, who would be our next leader and what kind of leader would that person be?” the senator added. “Yeah, I do worry about that.” …

Senate Republican Whip John Thune (S.D.), former Senate GOP Whip John Cornyn (Texas) and Senate Republican Conference Chairman John Barrasso (Wyo.) are viewed as McConnell’s three most likely successors.

But there hasn’t been any serious discussion of a future Senate GOP leadership race among Republican senators themselves because McConnell has a secure grip on the job and hasn’t dropped any hint about planning to retire.

He easily defeated former National Republican Senatorial Committee Chairman Rick Scott (Fla.) by a lopsided vote of 37 to 10 when Scott tried to capitalize on Republican disappointment over the 2022 midterm election by challenging McConnell for the top job…

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Latest Night Open Thread: CPAC to T-PAC

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Warm-up for the Big Yuuuuge Event:

Tonight:

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