Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

This blog will pay for itself.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

This really is a full service blog.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Everybody saw this coming.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

You are here: Home / Holiday Greetings Part Two

Holiday Greetings Part Two

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hohofuckyou

In addition to what Betty said, I think what pisses me off the most about this whole war on Christmas thing is that I dunno if this is already incorporated into atheist already, but I am a LAZY atheist. What I mean by that is I don’t think about God. Because I don’t think he/she/it exists. Unlike Dawkins and others, I also don’t think it’s my fucking job to prove to believers that God doesn’t exist. I just am happy not dealing with the whole damned mess.

Which explains why I get so pissed off when the Talibangelicals and jeebus freaks drag me into their bullshit when they start trying to run the country in accordance to their religious beliefs, or start bashing on gay people or telling women what to do with their bodies or trashing whomever they have chosen to be the target for their special brand of love this week. So when they drag me into this whole Happy Holidays/ Merry Christmas bullshit, they’re demanding that I fucking do something one way or another, and it pisses me off. For me, “season greetings/happy holiday/happy hannukah/merry christmas” is fundamentally no different than “hola/have a nice day/take it easy” or some other standard greeting. It’s just a meaningless pleasantry we’ve become accustomed to saying. So when someone demands I say Merry Christmas it’s as stupid as someone demanding I say “Have a nice day” instead of “take care.”

It’s just stupidity and a pain in my ass. It’s just wingnuts finding some other way to put us at each other’s throats, and in addition to that, it’s someone I don’t know or care about forcing me to have to think or do something about something I don’t want to think or do anything about.

I just want to be left the alone. I’m a conscientious objector in the War on Christmas.

Reader Interactions

84Comments

  2. 2.

    SatanicPanic

    I’m with you. I am an atheist because I couldn’t care less about the question of god. But I’ll say Merry Christmas, because I like the holiday damn it. Why did this have to become a thing to argue about?

  4. 4.

    Mike J

    Just back from the Wine store where the checker pleased me by saying “have a nice day” instead of “merry chrimbo”.

  5. 5.

    Mnemosyne

    Also, too, dare we mention that it often seems like the people who get most bent out of shape over hearing “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” are the ones who haven’t darkened the door of a church in decades, if ever?

  7. 7.

    jl

    The repeated lack of Arbor Day greetings on this blog clearly shows it is anti-environment, and obvs a Koch Brothers front. It does not lift its limp dick to protest the War on Arbor Day.

    Hell, back in my day, Arbor Day was a real thing in my grammar school. I remember we planted a tree one year, and then watched it die despite various Best Efforts. But no one cares anymore.

    Just to bug Cole, I might get my ass over to Bethany or whatever dinky holler the guy hangs out in, get a megaphone and drive around shouting Ho Ho Merrrrrryyy Christmans!! The thing is only three or four square blocks, so that will surely bug the old recluse more than enough.

  8. 8.

    Germy

    “Happy Crimble!” (the beatles)

    At one time, it was appropriate to feature dead birds on xmas cards

    “The Victorians had some really strange ideas about what served as an appropriate Christmas greeting,” says Bo Wreden, who recently organized an exhibition of holiday cards for the Book Club of California. “They liked to send out cards with dead birds on them, robins in particular, which related to ancient customs and legends. There’s a famous quotation from the Venerable Bede about a sparrow flying through the hall of a castle while the nobility is celebrating Christmas: The moment from when it enters until it flies out is very brief, a metaphor for how quickly our lives pass.” Apparently, killing a wren or robin was once a good-luck ritual performed in late December, and during the late 19th century, cards featuring the bodies of these birds were sent to offer good luck in the New Year.

  11. 11.

    jl

    @Germy: Thaks for info. We should bring that back. That will get the nine-year olds who are into gross stuff, Goths and Ozzy fans into the Christmas Spirit.

    I wonder why the Xtianists have not picked up on it.

  13. 13.

    Keith G

    I am giving YouTube Red’s 30 day free trial a go. I really can’t see how it will add irreplaceable value to my media life, but I have 29 days to find out.

  15. 15.

    MomSense

    I’m going to spend about 6 hours in the car driving to see family and then 6 hours in the car the next day driving home. At least the dog doesn’t barf in the car anymore. She just droooooools.

    I’m so tired of scurrying all around that I am wishing I could just stay home, curl up on the couch, drink tea, and watch movies. Oh well. I will see my new grand nephew and get my baby fix so that should be nice.

  17. 17.

    Baud

    someone demanding I say “Have a nice day” instead of “take care.”

    What kind of monster says “take care”?

  18. 18.

    Mnemosyne

    @WereBear:

    G has become a little obsessed with watching episodes of the British comedy quiz show “QI,” and one item they had on there yesterday was that, back in Victorian times, they would basically have mothers dress up as furniture so they could hold their babies steady during the needed exposure time to take a photograph.

    So if you ever see a Victorian photograph of a baby or toddler sitting next to what appears to be a piece of furniture covered with a rug or drapery, it’s probably Mom.

    ETA: The Google search would be “Victorian hidden mothers.”

  20. 20.

    Mike in NC

    I admire how the owner of Grumpy Cat has made a fortune off that hairball in the past few years. Our spoiled little critters are takers, not makers. We got in at midnight last night from Frankfurt and it was all “So where the hell have you been?”.

  22. 22.

    pat

    Sorry I don’t know how to link, but Digby has the link about a British Muslim family that was on its way to visit Disneyland and relatives in California and were stopped at the airport by US officials. Escorted out of the airport after returning the stuff they bought at duty-free, out the 9000# for the plane tickets.

    Disgusting, to borrow one of tRump’s favorite words.

    eta: original story in the Guardian

  29. 29.

    JPL

    @pat: I was checking out at a major supermarket that’s headquartered in FL, so probably the one Betty mentioned. The clerk checked me out and said Happy Holidays, oh I mean Merry Christmas and then, at that point she said whatever…

  30. 30.

    Keith G

    @Mnemosyne:

    I do sometimes wonder how poor Andy Williams feels, what with being the original Happy Holidays guy and all. Will Fox News have a ritual burning of his albums at some point?

    FOX would build a statue to the long time hardcore Republican.

    I try to separate the person from their art, but jeez he made it hard. I heard an interview where Mr Moon River lectured that Obama followed Marxism and wanted the US to fail, I lost it.

    Once he croaked, I felt I could return to hearing his Christmas music ( that was so enmeshed in my youth) once again.

  32. 32.

    Elizabelle

    NBC at eight tonight (Eastern): How the Grinch stole Christmas, the 1966 cartoon version. With Boris Karloff.

    Secular enough. Whoville awaits.

  33. 33.

    pat

    Speaking of Christmas let me say that if you are two old folks battling bronchitis so bad that you can’t sleep in the same room because of the coughing and you have an old cat and you don’t know what to do with her when you go away for several weeks next February and you don’t know if she will survive at the cat boarding establishment without her daily sub-Q infusions of lactated ringers and your normal winter has not put in an appearance and you hate having to do something “special” for Christmas even though you won’t see any family (no kids) or friends and you are wondering why you have to cook a duck on Friday and can’t just throw a pizza in the oven….And you don’t need ANYTHING so you won’t even have something to open (have not finished the books bought last Christmas)

    Bah humbug.

    oh, and Merry Christmas, just to piss off the purists. Ha.

  34. 34.

    FlyingToaster

    I managed to befuddle a clerk at Party City a few weeks ago. I went in to grab a couple of dreidels (because WarriorGirl took all of hers to school) and the girl was like, “uh, I guess I can’t wish you Merry Christmas.” And I’m like “honey, I don’t care; my husband isn’t Jewish and I go to my sister-in-law’s for Christmas. Have a good holiday!” and I just blew the hell out of the store.

    Fortunately, I’m 1500 miles from the morons I grew up among, so I’m not having to deal with their brand of supreme hypocrisy Xtianist crazy.

  35. 35.

    Pogonip

    @pat: Merry Christmas (do I hear teeth grinding in Florida?) and get well soon!

    The readers here are such contrarians that most of them will run out tonight just so they can say ” Merry Christmas” to somebody, and I myself am feeling increasingly strong urges to start whining about Jeebus.

    Well, at least I’m in the right place for it.

  37. 37.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Pogonip: Won’t you also give them credit for getting rid of thuggee? Victorian administration created famines were a wonderful gift to the heathens too.

    Sati is indefensible, however, it does not justify the whole scale devastation and looting of India brought about by the “benevolent” British rule.

  38. 38.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Pogonip: Won’t you also give them credit for getting rid of thuggee? Victorian administration created famines were a wonderful gift to the heathens too.

    Sati is indefensible, however, it does not justify the whole scale devastation and looting of India brought about by the “benevolent” British rule.

    ETA: The ghost of William Bentick is holding my comment in moderation, so please delete if the first comment appears.

  39. 39.

    pat

    I have been saying Merry Christmas to the Salvation Army bell ringers and sales people here and there. No skin off my nose if I don’t believe a word of it.

  40. 40.

    Roger Moore

    So when they drag me into this whole Happy Holidays/ Merry Christmas bullshit, they’re demanding that I fucking do something one way or another, and it pisses me off.

    That’s exactly the point. They want to turn Christmas from a celebration of Christ’s birth into a fight over who is going to control society- and then blame everyone else for being divisive.

  42. 42.

    Elizabelle

    @pat: A cool thing about Salvation Army bell ringers in Manhattan:

    They were dancing energetically to pop music when I was up there. Sometimes 2-3 of them at a time. None of that standing around, swinging a bell impassively.

    Has got to result in more $$$. Worked for me.

  44. 44.

    east is east

    What is infuriating about this is that a 30 year math teacher in Bangor, Maine was ordered by the principal to take her Hello Kitty purple Christmas tree down. Public sentiment forced the principal to reinstall the tree. This kind of bullshit gives liberals a bad name and makes us look stupid and petty.

  45. 45.

    Baud

    @east is east: Liberals are human and will do dumb things. But we do about 5000% fewer dumb things than conservatives. We’re not going to advance the ball much if we cringe in fear every time someone does something stupid.

  46. 46.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Pogonip: Also to be historically accurate, William Bentick who is credited with the enforcement against Sati returned to England before Victoria was crowned.

    It was Raja Ram Mohan Roy, an Indian from Bengal who was one of the leading social reformers who lead the anti-Sati agitation and prompted action by Bentick who was the then Governor General of Bengal.

  50. 50.

    Tones

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    And were shocked to find out that they themselves were indeed the “Savages” -they never forgave India for that, and to this day won’t give credit where credit is due per mathematics, astronomy, etc.,.

  51. 51.

    magurakurin

    @SatanicPanic:

    Why did this have to become a thing to argue about?

    Because Bill O’Reilly needed a ratings boost a bunch of years ago.

    I remember the phrase “happy holidays” from as far back as I can remember, which stretches back to about 1967 or so. We wrote Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays and Season’s Greetings on our Christmas cards that we made in elementary school back in the 2nd or 3rd grade. I always had thought it just meant Christmas and New Years when you said Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings. Kwanzaa was literally just being born and I really don’t think there was a super huge amount of sensitivity toward the Jewish kids in the class considering the Cartmans of the class used to throw a penny on the ground “to see if the Jew would pick it up.” I remember not knowing what a “jew” actually was, but I was pretty sure I wasn’t one, but I would definitely pick up the penny, so I was way confused. One can only imagine what bigoted assholes those kids parents were. Those kids were assholes, too. I hated those fuckers…rambling…rambling….

    You can find really old Christmas cards with the phrases Happy Holidays and Season’s Greetings…19th century old. And the most fucked up thing of all about the War on Christmas is the fact that the actual original Christians to set up shop here, the Puritans, banned any sort of festive Christmas celebrations. Of course they probably did have a point about the pagan symbols embedded in the Christmas Tree itself…it’s all so confusing.

    I say Merry Christmas though. Why not? But if someone took a definite aggressive stance with their Merry Christmas, I’d probably say something fucked up to them and start a fight. Because I’m originally from Philadelphia.

  52. 52.

    east is east

    @Baud: You are right, but it’s frustrating. Fox news is just waiting to exploit this kind of stuff and anyway it’s just harmless. I’m an atheist liberal who grew up in an atheist liberal household and we had a Christmas tree every year and sung Jesus songs. It’s freaking secular at this point. Just depressed about the whole matter.

  53. 53.

    WaterGirl

    @jl: Can someone fill me in on what I missed? I keep seeing those phrases in comments, so there is obviously an in joke there somewhere.

    I would be most grateful to be in the know.

  55. 55.

    NotMax

    No secret that religion and NorMax reside on entirely different poles, but have taken to responding to the Xmas purists with an enthusiastic “Aleikum salaam” – just because.

    @Mnemosyne

    Lurve QI. And it is easy to get the bug to binge watch it. Here’s this year’s Christmastime episode.

  58. 58.

    magurakurin

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Axial tilt is the reason for the season.

    That’s a very northern hemisphere temperate zonalcentric point of view. What about our brothers and sisters in the Southern Hemisphere? And what about the Equatorial regions…oh the injustice of it.

  59. 59.

    magurakurin

    @NotMax:

    but have taken to responding to the Xmas purists with an enthusiastic “Aleikum salaam” – just because.

    No Disneyland for you.

  60. 60.

    Pogonip

    @magurakurin: Around here Kwanza seems to have gone out of style. Probably because it was poorly timed. After a woman has spent 6 weeks cooking, cleaning, decorating, shopping, wrapping, and entertaining, the LAST thing she’d probably want is to add another week onto her sentence. Kwanza fans might want to move it to August, a generally boring month, at least in these parts, and take a crack at popularizing it again.

  62. 62.

    magurakurin

    @Pogonip: Or maybe June, no holidays in June. And it’s a pretty good month weather wise. Oh well, it sucks in East Asia, but it’s pretty good elsewhere.

  63. 63.

    Pogonip

    @a different chris: OK, you’ve convinced me. Democrats should make every effort to trash the majority’s religious beliefs, and for that matter, if time permits, all the minority religions too. It’ll really and truly work this time! I have faith!

    Oops.

  67. 67.

    magurakurin

    Juneteenth might be a good fit with Kwanza, though. But I guess August really is the month with no holidays. Just school vacation. A good month for kids, adults not so much.

  68. 68.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Pogonip: Don’t worry about it. I am sorry too, to come down on you like a ton of bricks.

    Since this summer, I have immersed myself in the history of British India, trying to answer how the British came to dominate the sub-continent. The more I find out the more it pisses me off.

  72. 72.

    jl

    @WaterGirl: No, I don’t know what you are talking about. Why are you surprised to see numerous references to groups of people who like gross things in BJ comments?

  73. 73.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Pogonip: Thurl Ravenscroft! Also heard singing the bass part on many classic Disney recordings; he’s usually impossible to miss.

  74. 74.

    Heliopause

    I’ll start believing in God just as soon as I get that damned Radio Flyer for Christmas. Hey, YHWH, Amazon will deliver in two hours. I’ve been waiting on you for 49 years. I get better service from Comcast.

  76. 76.

    Ruckus

    @efgoldman:
    Ha!

    Not having any kids or family, and being an atheist, I really don’t give two shits about xmas.
    But if someone demands that I say Merry Christmas, I oblige by adding an extra word. In the middle. It’s not considered a nice word by some. But if you say it in a happy tone and with a smile it stops them short.
    Merry Fucking Christmas.
    On the other hand I don’t give two shits if you believe with all your being that atheists are wrong and there is a god, as long as you have no need to inform me about it. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong, I’m just going to change the conversation or leave.

  77. 77.

    Pogonip

    @schrodinger’s cat: You did not come down like a ton of bricks. You offered a fact of which I was unaware. I love odd facts, historical and otherwise.

    If it makes you feel any better, the Indians had the last laugh on the Brits. Now whenever a Brit’s computer breaks down, he has to talk to someone in India! Ha!

    Unfortunately, so do I. Not that I have anything against people in India. But that person in India is being forced to stick to a script in a foreign language, which is taking up so much of his attention that he can’t concentrate on my problem.

    I also hate scripts that make the Customer Service Representative grovel. Some of that stuff’s inhuman.

    SERF: may I have your name?
    ME: Pogonip.
    SERF: Thank you for providing that information. Are you at 123 Frosty Lane in Grouchville?
    ME: Yup.
    SERF: Thank you so much for providing me with that information. How may I debase myself further?
    ME: Well, the fiddlywicket on the thingamabob doesn’t seem to be widdling properly, and–
    SERF: I am so sorry you are having that problem. I am so, so, so, sorry.
    ME: Well, can you send me a new fiddlywicket?
    SERF: No, I’m sorry, your fiddkywicket is 6 minutes out of warranty.
    ME: Thank you for providing me with that information. However, if you look at clause 6,443 (a) of the sales contract–
    SERF: Thank you for providing me with that information, but…

    …and on and on and on till I don’t know whether to yell at the poor humiliated slob or commiserate with him. Just let the person talk to me and fix my fiddlywicket!

  78. 78.

    Pogonip

    @NotMax: On which loyal readers build edible shrines to the Great Mustard God Cole and conduct the ceremonial Nude Mopping Session. Services end with the ceremonial dismissal: “I hate you all!”

    Since the Great Mustard God is an atheist, how does he explain his own existence?

  79. 79.

    Johnny Coelacanth

    @Pogonip: Where did anybody say anything like that? You act as if someone endorsed an electoral strategy of insulting Christians (when we all know that you can’t be President if you don’t kiss the bible) when, perhaps, they were merely expressing the frustrations of being atheist/agnostic/whatever else in a country where the large Christian majority pretends to be under attack. Maybe that’s what you’re not getting.

  81. 81.

    a different chris

    @Pogonip: Look, this isn’t complicated. The cries of ‘prayer shaming!!1’ the other week missed the point just like you are doing here.

    I don’t know where you live or what your neighbors are like, so maybe you really don’t know what it’s like in the less civilized parts of the country. And you don’t know what my neighbors are like. So I’ll try to make it really simple: A sincere ‘Merry Christmas!’ is absolutely fine. A belligerent ‘Merry Christmas, and if you don’t like it, maybe we should step outside, yeah?!’ is NOT fine. The second example is what I’m tired of putting up with.

  82. 82.

    PurpleGirl

    @magurakurin: One correction… The Puritans (and other Englishmen) didn’t have Christmas trees. The British Isles celebrated with burning Yule logs and decorated with pine boughs and holly. Christmas trees are a northern Germanic thing and were introduced to England by Queen Victoria when she began having them for her husband (the Prince Consort Albert) who was from Germany.

  83. 83.

    Lige

    @Amir Khalid: Definitely not the case here in Kuala Lumpur – I think there are more Christmas decorations here than in most US cities. More elaborate too.

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