Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans don’t trust women.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

I was confident that someone would point it out and thought why not me.

Come on, man.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Previously On This Old Cranky Ass House

Previously On This Old Cranky Ass House

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This post is in: 

Before:

Current status:

Deck is stained (Olympus Cape Cod Gray, on sale at Lowe’s for 16 bucks a gallon because they are no longer carrying it), missed a few spots, and will need another coat in August.

A couple more perennials to plant, need to continue the mulch down the left side of the fence, and need to round out the bed where it makes that weird angle.

Need to throw down some more seed, dig the hole for the willow (it will go right where the sprinkler is AND FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME THERE ARE NO FUCKING PIPES IN THE BACKYARD), gather stones from the creek so we can make the path in August/September, and put some dirt around the back gate and shed to even it out.

Finish the lattice- went with plastic because it was cheaper and given how moist everything is I didn’t want to replace it in three years, mulch the left side and plant perennials, put some shrubs on both sides of the stairs but I will pick them up when I have some money and they are cheaper in a few months, and powerwash the back of the house (WHICH WAS POWERWASHED LAST SUMMER BUT I LIVE IN A RAIN FOREST NOW).

Ideally, once everything is done and the path is put in, next year ALL I will need to do is a little maintenance- cut back perennials, sow wildflowers in between perennials, mulch, and plant annuals. Depending on how things go, I might try to get a beekeep to put in some hives near the compost pile in the spring. Other small things on the LONGTERM agenda:

a couple batboxes
some birdhouses and a bird bath
repaint and protect shed
replace window to shed
retractable awning for the deck so I can actually go outside and not DIE
some durable patio furniture.

The longterm agenda means next year or beyond.

Oh, and Thurston has been his usual helpful self:

Reader Interactions

42Comments

  2. 2.

    zhena gogolia

    I love the way Thurston appears in almost every photo. Where’s everyone else?

  4. 4.

    The Other Bob

    Smart man using opaque stain instead of paint. Paint ruins a deck by pealing in a year. I have a deck the previous owners of my house painted. Made a mess of it. I had pealing paint blowing all over the yard.

  6. 6.

    Walker

    As someone who has to touch up his deck every year, it is not always smart to get a stain they no longer carry. Eventually this forces you to redo the entire deck just to cover a spot.

  7. 7.

    Drunkenhausfrau

    Meant to comment earlier, birch trees suck up water. My yard is a flood plane and the birches help. Flip side: they also steal all the water when we don’t have rain.

  8. 8.

    Yarrow

    Looks really good. Thurston is hilarious–he has to be everywhere, doesn’t he?

    I LIVE IN A RAIN FOREST NOW

    This year you do. Then it’ll switch and you’ll live in a desert.

  11. 11.

    Joe Falco

    Have you researched or called your local planning/zoning department about the beekeep? I’ve worked for local municipalities where bee-keeping is regulated to not be within certain residential areas.

  12. 12.

    ET

    In Thurston’s case maybe helpful=staying out of people’s way the best you can hope for?

  15. 15.

    geg6

    THURSTON!!! ♥️♥️♥️

    Deck looks great, Cole. And yard is much, much improved.

  16. 16.

    gvg

    speaking as someone who has lived in humid Florida almost all my life, put extra mildew-cide in all outside house paints and stains. You can buy them as little packets for adding to 1 gallon or bottles for bigger amounts. Do it even if the paint or stain says it has some because they never have enough. This will help your paint just not get algae and mildew as fast and you won’t have to power wash as often. It’s usually labeled Mx-3 or Mx something. I guess you have already painted the house but you said you need another stain coat so there is your opportunity. I find it at home depot somewhere around the paint counter, usually not well marked. Don’t know why people don’t seem to know about this anymore.

  17. 17.

    Elizabelle

    @gvg: Wow. That’s good to know.

    Mildew and algae are moving north and all over the place too, big assist by climate change.

    Someone here (Barbara?) mentioned yesterday about some homes eventually being built underground, given the climate. It’s not a preposterous idea, if you can manage the drainage.

  18. 18.

    CarolDuhart2

    I did. If a place has 108 degrees at night…..underground cities are probably the only way to stay in a place.

  19. 19.

    Humdog

    Question regarding your path. Creek stones will mostly be rounded rocks. Creek stones will be good to line the sides of a pathway but you need something flatter for the mainpath. Cobblestones will trip you and make any wheelbarrowing harrowing. Crushed gravel makes for fine walking or wheelbarrowing. Don’t use pea gravel because it will wash away and feels like you are treading sand.
    Looks good. You know you will always have something to do when you have a house and garden.
    P.S. how about screening in the back deck, making a covered screen patio? After you plant your money tree, of course.

  20. 20.

    MomSense

    @Elizabelle:

    My friends built a mostly underground house. I’m going there for the holiday and it will be cool.

    It’s toasty warm in the winter and cool in the summer.

  22. 22.

    gvg

    plants that like being flooded from time to time, cardinal flower (red lobelia), rain lilies (zephyranthes & habranthes) Louisiana irises and some daylilies.

  27. 27.

    Humdog

    @A Ghost To Most: Flagstone would be nice, but I bet he can get gravel more cheaply. Shouldn’t all the mountain top removal create a lot of cheap gravel and dirt?

  28. 28.

    FlyingToaster

    I have flagstones through my garden (path from front steps to side steps), and it’s damn near maintenance free. I also have rectangular flagstones for the stepping point through the hellgreenstrip in front (between the sidewalk and the curbstones).

    I’d like to know why the fuck it is 97° in Watertown, Massachusetts on JULY 3RD‽‽‽ This is (now defunct) MacWorld Boston weather, properly the first week of August, not a whole month early.

  30. 30.

    Bard the Grim

    Unless those fences are plastic I’d recommend against putting dirt/mulch right up against them. And if you’re looking for ideas for an awesome low-maintenance birdbath … But with your drainage issues, heed that advice about keeping the tub edge a few inches above ground level.

  31. 31.

    Ohio Mom

    @Bard the Grim: I’ve been wondering if the berms of dirt against the fence are stopping rainwater from flowing out of the backyard, resulting in the creation of that um, pond we saw the other week.

  33. 33.

    Rugosa

    Looks good. How about some planters with herbs on the deck? You could just nip outside for fresh basil, rosemary, thyme, tarragon, etc. for dinner.

  35. 35.

    ronp

    looks great, but keep dirt and soil away from wooden fences and other wooden components. the wood will rot quickly when in contact with soil and moisture — leave a gap so air can circulate.

  36. 36.

    Tehanu

    I don’t know anything about either building or gardening, but you look like you’re having fun and the yard is turning into a garden, not just a space with some grass in it. Congratulations on the progress so far and keep us posted!

  37. 37.

    Currants

    Hey John, awnings are great but shade sails are cheaper and just as effective IME (I have one of each on back deck).

  38. 38.

    Yoodow

    Instead power washing the house again, try “Wet and Forget” It works great. Costco carries it.

  40. 40.

    Daffodil's Mom

    John,
    Willow roots can go 100 FEET. They also lose branches whenever you say the word “wind”. Surely there are other beautiful trees that won’t cause you — or your neighbors !!!!! — so much money and aggravation.

  41. 41.

    karen marie

    went with plastic because it was cheaper and given how moist everything is I didn’t want to replace it in three years

    I am screaming with laughter at this. You will be replacing it in three years, because with all that moisture, it’s going to turn green. Hahahaha. Ain’t home ownership FUN?

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