Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

We still have time to mess this up!

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Having a Great Time at the Beach

Reader Interactions

124Comments

  2. 2.

    Jerzy Russian

    I am not sure of what the point of that clip is supposed to be. In any event, good to hear that you had a good time.

  3. 3.

    Steeplejack

    Trump’s Twitter account has been silent for over 24 hours. Is that a record?

    But, hey, he played golf with Kid Rock today!

    Another great day on the links! Thank you to POTUS for having me and to EVERYONE at Trump International for being so wonderful. What a great man, so down to earth and so fun to be with!! KEEP AMERICA GREAT!! -Kid Rock pic.twitter.com/cSsswI5PbW

    — Kid Rock (@KidRock) March 23, 2019

  8. 8.

    Mary G

    I posted this Twitter thread in the last post because I did not see that a new one is up, so I’m putting it here too. The story of a very good boy.

    I want to tell you a story about Hank, and I want you to know that it has a happy ending. This is Hank 6 years ago. pic.twitter.com/YLXcJYAw9C— Ulysses S. Cocksman (@USCocksman) March 23, 2019

  12. 12.

    Honus

    Cole will eventually look like that guy, and it won’t be that long. Don’t ask me how I know.

  13. 13.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Honus: Don’t all of us (guys) end up looking like him? I mean, different skin color, same pear-shape, eh?

  15. 15.

    Rosalie Marcantonio

    I never comment, been reading for a while. But, gees, everyone drinking tonight? That was funny.

  18. 18.

    David Fud

    That Carmelo guy seems to have the equivalent of a Playboy feed. The performance of the woman was funny because she was trying so hard, and the fat man was so hilarious because he was oblivious and wasn’t trying at all.

  20. 20.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Frankensteinbeck: The problem is that Michael Gove is one of the people both trying to unseat her, take over from her, and block her deputy from becoming PM. The Deputy PM appears interested in keeping the UK in the EU customs union.

  23. 23.

    Pogonip

    Cole! You’ve lost weight!

    And that guy behind you found it. ?

    Can any of you pet mavens tell me why nobody ever tried to make breeds out of the expensive “designer dog” mutts? The sole exception I could find was the Australian Labradoodle.

  27. 27.

    raven

    @Mike in NC: I used to read the Red Drum Tackle Shop blog from Hatteras. People would say, “I’m moving there full time”! The locals would reply “You need to come and spend a winter here first”!

  40. 40.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Leto: When he came to the Madison, WI, meet up in 2013, I am pretty sure he did not wear overalls. He, however, did just get up from the table and wander off to play video games at one point.

  41. 41.

    Brachiator

    @Adam L Silverman: I saw the story about May and found this part very interesting.

    Shipman quoted one unidentified cabinet minister as saying: “The end is nigh. She will be gone in 10 days.”

    May’s de-facto deputy, David Lidington, is one contender to be interim prime minister but others are pushing for Environment Secretary Michael Gove or Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt, Shipman said.

    I didn’t know the BREXIT views of these guys, but you may have helped to fill in one of the blanks.

    The Deputy PM appears interested in keeping the UK in the EU customs union.

    This would be an interesting shift and revolt against the hard core no deal Tory MPs.

  43. 43.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Brachiator: Gove is a hardcore Brexiter. He’s also heavily involved in the financial sector. He’s likely been shorting the pound and other British stocks for several years now.

  46. 46.

    raven

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’m in a calcutta with some high rollers. I spent $115 on Ohio State and Virginia Tech and I’m still alive. I do love this stuff though, even with one and done. The Big Ten is kickin ass.

  59. 59.

    NotMax

    @Gin & Tonic

    Ah, sports. Something about which I am congenitally incapable of grasping the whys and wherefores. Although using a word closely associated with the term black hole when it comes to gambling is, you should pardon the expression, right on the money.

  66. 66.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Doug R: I don’t need to know about what he does in his private time. In fact I don’t even want to think about it.

  69. 69.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @rikyrah:

    white supremacist that killed 50 Muslims was living off a $500,000 inheritance – proof Bernie Sanders programs to help “working class whites” will not cure or stop Racism.

    God damn right. Racism flourishes among the wealthy, and always has. It’s no accident that John Schnatter, Galtian asshole supreme, was caught complaining that he’s not allowed to say n- anymore.

  71. 71.

    Jay

    DPRK News Service
    @DPRK_News
    Gift of one stick of butter from Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un to Donald Trump serves its purpose.
    Quote Tweet
    Donald J. Trump
    @realDonaldTrump
    It was announced today by the U.S. Treasury that additional large scale Sanctions would be added to those already existing Sanctions on North Korea. I have today ordered the withdrawal of those additional Sanctions!
    10:59 AM · Mar 22, 2019 · Twitter Web Client
    480
    Retweets
    1.5K
    Likes

  73. 73.

    Frankensteinbeck

    Open thread? Awesome. I’m trying to isolate a ‘Here’s a sample!’ page for Rag Doll’s Guide To Here And There. Does this drag the reader in?

    Stiff and wobbly as he was, the bundlevich dropped down to one knee. In a wave, all the other bundlish did as well, which forced the poor shrivener nearly face-down on the flagstones. Breathy with hope, the human-shaped pile of fancy clothing told Sandy, “We have waited so long, Witch Sandy. We are the oldest remaining race Anywhere.”

    “There were china dolls before even bundlish,” corrected a bundliss in an extravagant blue gown.

    The bundlevich demurred, “Each one individual, not a race.”

    The crowd all nodded agreement.

    His mask turned back to Sandy, and the longing tone returned. “Many children ago, a heroine bound us with her magic, sealing away our evil. Now a witch has come to reclaim her most loyal subjects. Release the spell. Let us be what we once were, we beg you.”

    Sandy’s shoulder lifted and fell with her deep breaths. I’d stopped breathing at all. She took a long time to answer them. When she did, she laid a trembling hand on the bundlevich’s shoulder. “It is not time yet. Neither Here nor There are ready for you. I am not the child that will free you completely, but I can release one link of your chains. I need a monster.”

    “Yesssssss,” the bundlevich whispered. The others joined in on the hiss, hunger and uncontrollable ecstasy combined.

    Gaining confidence again, Sandy continued, now waving an arm to indicate all of the gathered bundlish, and the town itself. “You make clothlings for Here. I want you to sew me something bigger, something filled with witchcraft that can fight for me. In fact…”

    Turning to the captured shrivener, she cupped her hand under the beak of his mask. “This looks like the face of a monster, doesn’t it? Killing or imprisoning him would be awful, so we’ll change him. Use his metal as underwire, his robe as fabric, and his mask as a face. I’ll turn him from a creature of order to a creature of chaos. That’s not too bad, right?”

    “Disappointingly merciful and brilliantly evil at the same time,” said the bundlevich.

    Sandy stomped her foot, and pointed up the street. “Then get to work. Your dark mistress commands it!”

    I’m trying for ‘I need to read this book because I want to know what’s going on.’

  80. 80.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Adam L Silverman:
    That’s a good reaction for my purposes. Thank you!

    And because I’m just barely not rude enough to leave you hanging, it’s a book full of living dolls, but in the case of the bundlish they’re shadows that cover themselves with multiple layers of human clothing, because if anyone sees that they’re only a shadow they disappear.

  82. 82.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Frankensteinbeck: Okay, that makes sense. Because I wasn’t sure if you were going with some sort of fairy creature that had been bound into doll form or some variant of Terry Brook’s version of tatterdemalions from his Knight and Void series or some variant of what DC Comics was doing with the character Ragman or something else entirely.

  86. 86.

    hitchhiker

    When our girls were 12 and 14 we took them to Sarasota for our family’s one and only beach vacation. Mr H was in his second year of using a wheelchair; we by god pushed that mofo across the sand so he could hang out and be by the water.

    The girls played in the surf and tried not to look at the oldies parading up and down the beach behind them, but there was This One Guy. He was shaped roughly like the photo-bomber above, and he was wearing this grotesque thong thingie.

    It was basically a sort of jock strap, only in speedo material. His junk was all tucked into this pouch, and his bum was naked with just the butt floss part of the outfit visible as it disappeared in between his cheeks.

    The first time he sauntered past, I saw both girls’ heads turn, then look at each other, then find me watching them. All 3 of us had the exact same expression on our faces: GAWP!

    I developed a theory that he was acting out some kind of weird sex slave game, and his master had forced him to make x number of trips up and down the beach every day. Weirdest thing ever. This was 15 years ago, and we still only have to murmur, “thong man” to bring the gawp expression to our faces.

  89. 89.

    Mary G

    @Adam L Silverman: The Guardian had an article a week or so ago saying that King Salman had reined in MBS, but I haven’t seen anything about it since. Have you any news?

  93. 93.

    Chetan Murthy

    @sukabi: Weeeeelll, she kinda has it in for the lot of ’em. You should see the ones of her lampooning Nicola Sturgeon and “wee Mhairi”. And, heck, soon-to-be-former PM May. And …. Angela Merkel’s crush on Macron. And Corbyn! Omigosh she’s brutal to him! I mean it goes on and on. She’s brutal to everybody. But I suppose Gove is so easy to lampoon, with his complete moral vacuity, and vacuity more generally.

  96. 96.

    Suzanne

    @hitchhiker: I saw something similar one time on a girls’ trip to Las Vegas. My friends and I were staying at one of the resort hotels, and it just so happened that we were there at the same time that the hotel was hosting a bodybuilding convention. My friends and I were lounging by the pool, which was close to full and there was much buzz and activity. Then one dude, who admittedly did have a nice body—if one is into the bodybuilder type—walked out into the pool area in a G-string.

    Dead silence.

  103. 103.

    Jay

    @Suzanne:

    Once upon a time, ( that’s how you know it’s a fairy tale), I used to wear a speedo in the gym pool. I had swam compeditively for years, had started lifting regularly, and rock climbing.

    After a short period of time, I stopped wearing smalls, switched to large or extra large, and moved to loose fit jeans. Surf shorts or baggy gym shorts for the pool.

    The first time I took my shirt off infront of the woman who became the love of my life, she said, “OMG, are there 12 of those?”.

  106. 106.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @sukabi: She’s arriving in Miami and flying back ASAP, the kid is staying for a music festival of some kind.

    ETA: Madame and the kid were on a mother-daughter bonding cruise for the last week.

  110. 110.

    sukabi

    @hitchhiker: you sure thong man wasn’t Dershowitz? He’s got a thing for walking beaches nekkid, or nearly….also seems to haave a Florida connection.

  119. 119.

    Bill Arnold

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Gove is a hardcore Brexiter. He’s also heavily involved in the financial sector. He’s likely been shorting the pound and other British stocks for several years now.

    If this were true (I’d be surprised if it wasn’t fwiw), how is it F-ing legal? How is it different than, say, shorting a oil company’s stock, and then causing a massive oil spill by overtly [not gonna write down scenarios, personal rule]? I mean, disregarding morality given utterly predictable consequences, such as the (homo sapiens) body count for a hard Brexit, which will probably run lower bound in the 10s of thousands, and potentially much higher if it starts a cascade that seriously damages the world economy.

  121. 121.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Bill Arnold: It’s pretty sordid, even if none of the grandees has been caught with his hand in the till:

    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/jun/25/nigel-farage-denies-shorting-value-of-sterling-on-night-of-brexit-vote

    Sources told Bloomberg that they believed Brexit to have generated “one of the most profitable single days in the history of their industry.” Odey Asset Management, run by the Conservative party donor and leave supporter Crispin Odey, is reported to have made $300m from Brexit.

    [I guess we gotta remember that insider trading by members of Congress is legal, so hey, we’re not any better.]

  122. 122.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Chetan Murthy: Oh I forgot the most sordid bit:

    It is illegal under British electoral law to “publish” exit polls before 10pm on the day of an election or referendum. Hedge funds and pollsters appear to have interpreted the law so as to permit the private provision of exit poll data to select individuals. A prominent barrister told Bloomberg that the legal definition of “publish” had never been tested.

  123. 123.

    Jay

    @Bill Arnold:

    It’s as legal as US Legislators writing legislation that effects stocks they own or Needy Amin twitting to short Boeing.

    It’s how a guy with $1500 in declared assets when entering office retires on $480 million on an annual salary of $84k.

  124. 124.

    kindness

    John Cole you dirty old man you. Politeness would think you’d put a beefcake one up for balance.

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