Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

People are complicated. Love is not.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

You are here: Home / Politics / America / Floriduh! Woman Does Easter If You Know What I Mean & I Think You Do…

Floriduh! Woman Does Easter If You Know What I Mean & I Think You Do…

by | 63 Comments

This post is in: , , , , ,

Like Floriduh! Man, Floriduh! Woman is can’t be bargained with. She can’t be reasoned with. She doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And she absolutely will not stop, ever…

From the Flagler, County Sheriff’s Office:

Woman Arrested for Putting Easter Eggs with Explicit Content in Mailboxes

Since Sunday, April 5, 2020, the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office (FCSO) has received numerous calls from local residents throughout Flagler County stating that they found a plastic Easter egg in their mailbox that contained pornographic images, non-threatening references to local churches and county buildings, and other miscellaneous items.

On Wednesday evening, FCSO received multiple calls from residents reporting that a female was once again placing plastic eggs in mailboxes, this time on Hernandez Avenue. Corporal Jacob had previously identified the suspect vehicle as a 2004 silver Honda Civic. FCSO’s Problem Area Crime Enforcement (PACE) Unit began to search areas where the reports were coming from. At 11:19 p.m., PACE located the vehicle traveling north on Belle Terre Parkway at Whiteview Parkway and a traffic stop was conducted.

During the investigation, 42-year-old Abril Cestoni (DOB 4/10/1977) admitted to placing the items in the mailboxes stating that she was educating people. There was a bag full of pornographic material inside the vehicle and she told deputies that she had distributed over 400 pamphlets in the past few days throughout Flagler County. Cestoni did not have any symptoms of COVID-19.

“Our team did a great job in tracking this deranged offender down and taking her into custody,” Sheriff Rick Staly said. “Thankfully she did not appear to be sick with COVID-19 symptoms, but she certainly needs some help. This again proves that ‘see something, say something’ works and we thank the community for being part of our guardianship policing philosophy.”

Cestoni was arrested and charged with 11 counts of Distributing Obscene Material. It was also determined that Cestoni did not have a valid driver’s license. She was additionally charged with Driving with a Suspended License and Violating Executive Order 20-91 for conducting travel not related to essential activity. She was booked into the Sheriff Perry Hall Inmate Detention Facility and is being held on a $7,000.00 bond.

Cestoni has previously been arrested in Flagler County for Driving with a Suspended License, Writ of Bodily Attachment, and Failure to Appear for a Traffic Summons.

Additional charges may be pending as the investigation continues.

Easter is named for a fertility goddess after all.

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

63Comments

  2. 2.

    Another Scott

    “deranged”?? Should the Sheriff really be throwing words like that around?

    Hmm…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    conducting travel not related to essential activity.

    I think her defense attorney should argue that maintaining the proud Florida Person tradition is indeed an essential activity.

  5. 5.

    ThresherK

    It took me about two seconds to realize this post wasn’t a bantering back-and-forth between Adam and fellow frontpager Betty Cracker. I, for one, am relieved.

  9. 9.

    jl

    It was originally a pagan fertility festival… just sayin…
    Not saying the core Christian part of it is quite as fabricated as the modern Christmas. Maybe someone who knows more about some obscure cultural history of Passover can help me.

    But I mean… c’mon… frisky rabbits and rabbits and more rabbits… jumping around scattering their ‘eggs.’ Wink wink, nudge nudge.

  10. 10.

    jonas

    This again proves that ‘see something, say something’ works

    Actually, that was the best part of the whole piece…

  13. 13.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Meanwhile in BernieWorld: “New York Times finally “breaks” the Tara Reade story… 2.5 weeks after her first interview, 3 days after Sanders’ campaign suspension, 1 day after reports that Reade has filed a criminal complaint against Biden.”

    Um, there’s a dangerous pandemic raging guys! Isn’t that explanation enough?

    And the top comments:

    Of course they had to wait until Bernie suspends his campaigns and until Reade files criminal complaints. I hope the NYT loses credibility for what they are doing

    This comment is replying the one above, and the poster is from the UK, apparently ?

    Bernie remains on the ballot and will have the second greatest haul of delegates. If Biden and his campaign is mortally wounded by August, Democrats will have a serious choice to make.
    Trump and his surrogates will hammer Biden for this story regardless of Trump’s own obvious sex predator past. This is the guy who invited 4 of Bill Clinton’s accusers to a debate with Hillary Clinton.
    They are going to go after the Burisma thing as well, and even if there is no criminality, the appearance of cronyism is enough to completely neutralize all of Biden’s attacks on Trump’s’ own awful history of corruption.
    I hope he can beat Trump but it’s so clear that Biden is likely going to be Clinton all over again. Even despite Trump’s disastrous handling of Coronavirus. It’s going to be another contest between two unfavorable candidates.

    Different commenter:

    You and I say disastrous. My mom is at home all day watching the news and the press conferences because of the quarantine and she thinks he’s doing a great job. If I try to give her any proof otherwise she fights me on it’s credibility. Not sure it’s as obvious to the general public as it should be that things are as bad as they are because he bungled the initial response to the pandemic.

    (r/SandersforPresident) Deleted tweet from the NYT about it’s investigation regarding Tara Reade’s allegations. They found no other allegations: saying, “We found no pattern of sexual misconduct by Biden, beyond hugs, kisses and touching that women previously said made them feel uncomfortable.”

    This is the thread title: “Sexual assault & harassment are NEVER okay. This tweet (now deleted) speaks volumes about the depravity of the New York Times. (P.S. Bernie has ZERO sexual assault allegations against him)”

    Gotta love the little passive aggressive dig there at the end. These people are throwing a temper tantrum like 5 y/o. It’s funny how Berniebros (not Sanders supporters) are never able to explain how Bernie was never able to win African American voters

  14. 14.

    Villago Delenda Est

    “Deranged offender”.

    Sheriff, you’re looking in the wrong place.  Try the Governor’s Mansion.

  16. 16.

    Zelma

    Umm,  I think, Adam, that in a previous post you suggested that Easter was “named” for Isis.  And then you made the comment that Easter was named for a fertility goddess in this post.  Well, your sort of right but Easter was not named for Isis.  It was named for the Germanic goddess Eostre.  She was the goddess of spring (and thus probably fertility of a sort). We got Easter from the Anglo-Saxons.  Just like we got Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

  20. 20.

    Gin & Tonic

    I’m hearing, over and over, about “Trump making a decision” to “reopen the country” or “reopen the economy.” Now I’m apparently not very smart, and I’ll admit English isn’t my first language, but what does either of the latter phrases mean? An explanation like I’m five years old would be helpful. Secondarily, what, exactly, is in the President’s power that would advance either of those goals?

  21. 21.

    (((CassandraLeo)))

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Now I’m apparently not very smart, and I’ll admit English isn’t my first language, but what does either of the latter phrases mean?

    They don’t mean anything. They’re bullshit, because Trump doesn’t have the power to do either of these.

    Secondarily, what, exactly, is in the President’s power that would advance either of those goals?

    Nothing. Nothing is in the president*’s power that would advance either of those goals. It’s not his decision to make. “The country” and “the economy” will “reopen” when people feel comfortable having face-to-face contact again the way they used to. Which probably isn’t going to be until there’s a widely available vaccine. Which, at this rate, doesn’t look like it’ll happen until at least 2022 – which, if FSM loves us enough, will be long after Trump is out of office and is spending a nice, long prison sentence at Rikers Island.

    Cēterum cēnseō factiōnem Rēpublicānam esse dēlendam.

  22. 22.

    Adam L Silverman

    @jl: The Last Supper described in the gospels was actually based on the description a Sukkot festival meal. The gospels describe it as occurring in the upper rooms of the house with the roof strewn over (estremen in the Greek of the New Testament) with palm fronds, branches, and leaves. That’s a sukkah, or booth, where meals are supposed to be taken during the fall harvest festival of Sukkot (booths). Notice there is no explicit mention of unleavened bread in the gospel account? Just bread. And reference to only one blessing over the wine, when during a Passover seder there are four cups of wine that are blessed. Like Christmas, the holiday was officially scheduled/calendared to co-opt an existing holiday that was more widely observed in the Roman empire.

  24. 24.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Gin & Tonic: English is my native language and by most measures, both objective and subjective, I am considered quite proficient at it.  And I can honestly say fuck if I know.  I hope this helps.

  25. 25.

    TS (the original)

    On the last thread it was mentioned that the Salk Vaccine was 65 years old.  64 years ago, I was living in a small village in the middle of nowhere in Australia and the whole school was lined up to get that vaccine (it was for us a series of injections – I can always remember the first one).

    It was amazing how quickly that vaccine spread around the world. I assume our government paid something for it? but every child in the country got vaccinated at no charge & this was way before we had universal health care.

  26. 26.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Gin & Tonic:

    As far as I’m aware, the POTUS has no formal authority to do anything. He can’t lift stay-at-home orders issued by governors. As for “opening up the country”, he probably wants to let business reopen ASAP so he can save his re-election. Of course, any public health official will tell you that we can’t stay locked down forever and will need to open up gradually, but we need expanded testing capacity to do contact-tracing and do extensive quarantine of positive individuals to have a hope of preventing a second wave of infections and control future outbreaks/identifying hot spots

  27. 27.

    Patricia Kayden

    And here it is. The current occupant of the White House retweeting something that says to fire Fauci. If that happens, it will be for telling America the truth. Guessing @senatemajldr will continue protecting him at the expense of American lives and businesses. https://t.co/o0sxYzWLMr— Fred Guttenberg (@fred_guttenberg) April 13, 2020

  28. 28.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): She didn’t actually file a complaint against Biden. She filed a complaint against an unidentified/unnamed assailant. Because if she’d named Biden in the complaint, she could be prosecuted for filing a false complaint, which is illegal. That, along with a lot of the other changing portions of her story, which she’s been shopping since the mid-90s, tells you something is hinky here. There is no way that the Obama campaign vetting team would have cleared him to be on the ticket in 2008 if there was anything to her accusations, which she also tried to shop in 2008 and 2012.

  31. 31.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Zelma: Actually I said or meant to say Ishtar. But Ishtar served the same function for the central Semitic tribes as Isis for the Egyptians and it is unclear in which direction that influence occurred – did the Hyksos bring this female deity and the rituals around her to Egypt, where the name is either changed to Isis or the name of an Egyptian fertility deity named Isis is co-opted or did the Egyptians bring it the other direction on one of their northern invasions.The Germanic tribes name Eostre is a Germanicization of Isthar/Istarte and got their through the transmission of the Dianic cult that Margaret Murray documented as it spread from the Levant through the Mediterranean and then north into other parts of Europe.

  33. 33.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Omnes Omnibus: It doesn’t. Every time I’m near a TV, nearly everyone is using that phrase, as if everyone knows what it means, and I hear something like “Trump will modulate the frebzigater.” It’s almost like I’m listening to cricket commentators – I recognize they’re speaking a language I’m supposed to know, but nothing makes any sense at all.

  35. 35.

    (((CassandraLeo)))

    @Gin & Tonic: Like I said, it’s bullshit. The reason it doesn’t make any sense to you is because no coherent thought is being expressed. It’s just a false reassurance to Trump’s base and to low-info undecided voters (the common clay of the new West… you know, morons). It doesn’t mean anything to you because it doesn’t mean anything. There’s no “there” there, no substance. It’s empty syllables used to fill up air time and stir up emotions, but there is no semblance of coherent thought being expressed because what they are saying contains no semblance of reality. The reason you hear nothing is because they are saying nothing.

    Cēterum cēnseō factiōnem Rēpublicānam esse dēlendam.

  36. 36.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Huh, it’s awfully funny how those inconvenient truths don’t make it into the narrative over there. I hadn’t really looked closely into that story, but I assumed it was probably bullshit.

    Biden has been a very glad-handy man when it comes to women, however that pales in comparison to Trump’s sexual predator history and it’s very disingenuous of the assholes at r/SandersForPresident to compare the two as if they’re equivalent and in the context of how saintly their savior is.

    Nobody ever brings up Sanders’ rape fantasy fiction from the 70s

  37. 37.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Gin & Tonic: He’s going to go to the podium in the Bradley briefing room, declare victory, announce that the US is now reopened. Then the smart governors will ignore him. The Democratic ones with Republican majority legislatures will be sued by their legislatures, the Republican ones like DeWine won’t. The dumbass Republican ones like DeSantis, McMaster, Kemp, Ivey, Reeves, Abbott, the community college drop out in Iowa, etc will lift their orders if they’ve given them, though 8 of them haven’t. The municipalities in their states will try to keep them in place. Those that have home rule, which is not most of the south/old Confederacy and the border states, will be able to. Those that don’t have home rule will be overruled by their governors. People will die. The President will blame the Democratic governors, Hogan, DeWine, and Baker – the last three as RINOs.

  38. 38.

    Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ

    Poor woman probably is mentally ill and nothing those officers did, most especially charging her with crimes, is going to get her the help she needs.  We need to stop criminalizing the mentally ill in this country.  The Criminal Justice system is the catch-all basin for our society and it it ends up serving no one.

  41. 41.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Patricia Kayden: Trump didn’t retweet that. Scavino did. Scavino is the interface between the President and his twitter feed and the alt-right, the white supremacists, GAB, r/TheDonald, the various Chaners, /K/ (which is the QAnon equivalent to 4Chan and the other Chans), and QAnon. Whenever you see something like this retweeted, it is Scavino doing it.

  48. 48.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): He’s not a sociopath. He’s actually not even stupid. He just acts that way because he thinks that as long as he hugs the President and plays to the President’s base that he’ll be reelected in 2022 and can then immediately start running for president.

  49. 49.

    Raoul

    @(((CassandraLeo))): “The country” and “the economy” will “reopen” when people feel comfortable having face-to-face contact again the way they used to. Which probably isn’t going to be until there’s a widely available vaccine.

    Yup. I had a zoom happy hour with my more mainstream, low-politics (but regular voter) brother and sis-in-law this evening. They’re in Houston, TX.

    They pretty much said that they will ever-so-gently ease back into commerce once restrictions are lifted and the news (as in, NYT, Houston Chronicle, major networks not starting with the letter F) are reporting that the curve has very well flattened.

    But even then, it’ll be quite gradual, and ready to pull back. These are folks who previously didn’t think twice about being in three different US states on three different weekends in a month, and probably went to Europe 4X or 5X per year. No international travel (except possible urgent work trip for my brother if unavoidable) for at least a year from right now, SIL said very firmly.

    We didn’t travel or spend quite as much as them, but we’re probably pretty danged clamped down till there is a treatment protocol that is widely reproducible, using reliably available pharmacology and procedures, with measurable improvements in morbidity and reductions in things like lung and heart damage.

    Really we’d like to wait for a vaccine, but that’s 18 months, probably. From today, not from outset of the pandemic in the US.

  51. 51.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    There’s reruns and DVD box sets as well as streaming. Plenty of people my age have the same opinion, Omnes

     

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Well, yeah, but I’d like to see how they’d try to explain that shit away

    @Adam L Silverman:

    He just acts that way because he thinks that as long as he hugs the President and plays to the President’s base that he’ll be reelected in 2022 and can then immediately start running for president.

    I don’t know, I’d say that qualifies him as a sociopath in my book

  55. 55.

    dimmsdale

    @Adam L Silverman: I wonder if the dumb-ass Red State governors have thought far enough ahead to “what do we do when agricultural workers are all COVID-positive because of our cowardice at not implementing lockdowns?” Nobody out there picking their crops, they go broke, rest of the country doesn’t eat.

  61. 61.

    marklar

    @Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ:

    I appreciate the compassion in your post.  The way our society fails to support those who are wired differently or falling apart due to temporary stressors is the most ‘deranged’ element of these stories. I too hope she gets the help she needs.

Comments are closed.