Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

T R E 4 5 O N

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Second rate reporter says what?

Bark louder, little dog.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

I was promised a recession.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Let there be snark.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / 2020 Elections / Stuck in the Middle

Stuck in the Middle

by | 241 Comments

This post is in: 

I heard the news last night at 12:45 or so when someone texted me, and then spent the next three hours unable to sleep.

After some thought, it basically boils down to this.

Fifty percent of me thinks he doesn’t have it and this is all some sort of stunt.

The other fifty percent of me wants him to die from it, but SLOWLY and over the period of six weeks so he can’t be replaced with Pence on the ballot.

Fuck Donald Trump.

Reader Interactions

241Comments

  2. 2.

    Lefty

    A week on a ventilator should do the trick. He won’t step down, but he won’t be able to speak

  3. 3.

    Matt McIrvin

    He’s not lying about having COVID. Trump hates the idea of being seen with COVID. That’s the opposite of the lie he would tell. If anything, he’ll lie about not being as sick as he really is.

  4. 4.

    Gravenstone

    @deekaa6: Just the act of being placed on a ventilator will break him mentally. He already has a fragile psyche, and being that completely out of control over events will destroy him.

  5. 5.

    J.

    Remember in the 1980s when Russian leaders kept coming down with “bad colds” or had “mild symptoms” of something or other — and then we found out they had a bad case of rigor mortis? This could be like that. #WeekendAtDonnys

  7. 7.

    syphonblue

    Hope Hicks has it. Ronna McDaniel has it. And just announced, Mike Lee has it. I think he really does have it. I don’t think he’s lying this time.

  8. 8.

    Calouste

    He can’t be replaced on the ballot, because the election has already started. Anyway, there are electors to take care of this eventuality, and there is a 19th century precedent, although IIRC the candidate died a few days after the election, but before the electors convened.

  11. 11.

    Villago Delenda Est

    I concur.  Let the chips fall on the floor and be eaten by Rosie, Thurston, and Lily.

  12. 12.

    pacem appellant

    It’s a terrible stunt, one which I don’t think he’d ever want to pull. He wants to be a superman, someone who is perpetually healthy. Getting Covid-19 for pretendsies, then pop out a few days later, “see all better!” doesn’t fit his psychoses.

  13. 13.

    Bruce K

    I think that’d be letting him off too easy. I want him to see the destruction of his empire of cruelty and lies. I want him to be aware of his inescapable defeat and impending doom. I want him to hear a jury foreman say “guilty, Your Honor”. I want his last breath on earth to be taken behind bars.

    The ugliest parts of me want him to survive to experience and understand his fate, and I think that may make me more cruel than Our Gracious Host.

  15. 15.

    CaseyL

    Isn’t it a good thing the GOP decided they didn’t need to include any Democratic Senators in their meetings?

    If hoping the entire GOP caucus comes down with Covid-19 is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  16. 16.

    Heywood J.

    I’m having respiratory difficulties — from laughing so hard. Fuck Trump, and that blow-up gold-digger he’s married to, and Hope Hicks. They all deserve so much worse.

  17. 17.

    Joe Falco

    Whatever happens, I can be certain that Trump’s Twitter account will last far longer than he will (See Cain, Herman).

  19. 19.

    Jinchi

    I heard the news late last night, myself. It got me to thinking about Trump and Melania and his collection of guests at the debate last Tuesday, all sitting in the audience defiantly maskless for 90 minutes as that debacle took place.

    • First, I’m very happy that Biden’s people took basic precautions. Hopefully they are all safe.
    • Second, I’m going to be extremely angry if he gave it to Joe.

    As for Trump, I hope he gets just sick enough that he starts taking advice from Dr. Fauci again. The UK got extremely lucky when Boris Johnson caught corona early in the outbreak and stopped with his stupidity.

    (Of course, Trump will probably follow the Bolsanaro route.)

  22. 22.

    craigie

    He’s not lying this time. What’s the upside to making this up?

    And yes, I want him to survive – until maybe January 21. Then the murder hornets can take him to their giant nest on a mysterious tropical island.

  23. 23.

    debbie

    @Matt McIrvin:

    I’m thinking it is made up, and his plan is to suddenly bound out of the White House, proving to the world that COVID is a big nothing and that he is invincible and so is worthy of reelection.

  24. 24.

    Anonymous At Work

    Fascists rule by strength. Being sick is being weak. Trump would never admit to being sick.
    Ergo, I’m playing this straight up. Pence at the “proverbial” top of the ticket is dicey in a number of ways, owing to faithless elector laws. And Trump’s MAGAts view Pence as a squish, a poodle, whose job is to look lovingly at Trump from teh background and do whatever is asked. Pence will depress turnout.
    Oh, and Hope Hicks testing positive is not dispositive but indicative that this is real. She’s seemingly the only non-Ivanka, non-male that Trump tolerates around him. She’s an emotional-support non-male to Trump, not a ratf*cker.

  25. 25.

    Punchy

    @Matt McIrvin: This is the correct take.  DT does not do sympathy moves or “woe is me” stuff.  The LAST thing he’d want is this (+) test released, so the fact it was tells me he’s a bit worse than they’re leading on….bad enough that they couldn’t hide the symptoms.

  26. 26.

    Johnnybuck

    This is absolute truth that everything he touches turns to shit. If he had done any precaution at all, he wouldn’t have it. Now the one thing they’ve spent the whole summer trying to minimize is the only thing that will be discussed from now to election day. And he definitely has it, because there is no way he wants to cancel his Klan rallies.

  28. 28.

    Barbara

    If he is lying he is an even bigger sociopath than I thought because he is sending all kinds of people into a panic over their own well-being. What kind of person would do that? “Ha ha, fooled ya!”

  29. 29.

    Jinchi

    @Joe Falco: Whoever runs Cain’s twitter account is extremely twisted. Having the him tweet from the grave against wearing masks, when that is almost certainly why the man is dead today.

  37. 37.

    oldgold

    Some of the guest$ at yesterday’s Trump NJ fundraiser had to pay $250,000 to be exposed to Covid.  They are pissed.

  39. 39.

    Llelldorin

    What pisses me off here is that probabilistically he’s likely to have COVID the same way he does everything:

    • He’s not that likely to die.
    • He’s extraordinarily likely to get someone else killed.
  40. 40.

    PPCLI

    @Jinchi: The Biden Campaign etc should really make hay with this. Those irresponsible bastards can endanger themselves if they want, but they also endangered Biden and every one of his guests by refusing to wear masks in the audience. Plus President Superspreader was shouting at the top of his lungs just 10 or 15 feet away from Biden.

    “They agreed. And they broke the agreement. These people can’t be trusted to keep even the most simple promises.”

  41. 41.

    Jinchi

    @Rosalita: It’d be a shame if the entire Republican Senate caucus had to quarantine for the next few months.

    But in all seriousness, is this going to halt Senate business for a while?

  42. 42.

    frosty

    I’m going with Door #2. He needs to be healthy and aware when he becomes a loser and it can’t be denied.

  44. 44.

    counterfactual

    @JPL: Seen a tweet that says “no” to that. Johnson got a crisis bump when COVID started, but that was fading by the time he tested positive and continued to fade.

  45. 45.

    emmyelle

    Do you live inside my head?

     

    Though, honestly, for me it is far less than half that thinks this is a lie/stunt. I’m like, maybe, 87% sure he’s got it.

  46. 46.

    Gravenstone

    @schrodingers_cat: From a tweet I just saw when searching his name, he also met with Amy Coney Barrett on Tuesday. Neither was masked. So that’s a likely second point of potential exposure for her. This superspreader event is likely to affect a large number of Republican leadership. This does not make me unhappy. The likelihood that it will also affect Democrats on the related committees does.

  47. 47.

    MazeDancer

    No way Pence gonna debate Harris.

    Kamala going to be letting him have it with non-stop “How could you’s”

    How could you not alert the press when Hope Hicks tested positive?

    How could you expose those people in NJ?

    How could you NOT ALERT our campaign?

    And then she’ll really let him have it.

  48. 48.

    JPL

    @counterfactual: I doubt that trump will get a bump.

    Donald Trump two years ago..

    THE ONLY REASON TO VOTE FOR A DEMOCRAT IS IF YOU’RE TIRED OF WINNING!

    there’s always a tweet.

  49. 49.

    SFAW

    @Punchy:

    DT does not do sympathy moves or “woe is me” stuff.

    Not sure about the “sympathy moves,” but he definitely is big into the “woe is me because all those lie-berals and media people are trying to get me” (and variations thereof). He always always always says that bad things that happen to him are because of others, not because he’s a fucking moron/liar/traitor/etc.

  50. 50.

    Cermet

    Maybe its true now that they are saying he has ‘mild’ symptoms. That is an extraordinarily admission that all is not well. Strange they’d addmit that at all. This is awfully early to exhibit symptoms after just testing positive after not being positive the day before – maybe it is worse than anyone expects – maybe. Maybe still BS but in two or three days we’ll know far better; if no news, could be serious. Lots of news and him appearing on vid, then likely a hoax. I woudn’t trust him to call the winner of a one horse race.

  51. 51.

    Martin

    If Trump does get sick enough to need the ICU, odds are he’ll be there pretty close to election day with Pence as acting President.

  52. 52.

    JoyceH

    I don’t trust anything that Trump says, but one reason I believe this is probably true is that I’ve been wondering for months how come Trump hadn’t come down with COVID yet. If you play Russian roulette over and over again, eventually your luck runs out.

    But I have to say that I’m pleased that the news media hasn’t gone all soft and solemn on Trump – I watched a lot of the overnight coverage and it was brutal. They kept showing that clip of Trump mocking Biden for wearing a mask. And the words ‘recklessness’ and ‘hubris’ got a lot of play.

  53. 53.

    SFAW

    @Rosalita:

    I sure hope McConnell is another lucky recipient

    FSM does not love America that much

    ETA: Thanks to mrmoshpotato for spotting my typoe.

  56. 56.

    MattF

    Baseline rumor is that Hicks is quite sick, Trump has fever and a cough, Melania is asymptomatic.

  57. 57.

    Hildebrand

    I have a very weird (and morbid) question – what would happen to the election if both Trump and Pence died before the election?

  59. 59.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    The other fifty percent of me wants him to die from it, but SLOWLY and over the period of six weeks so he can’t be replaced with Pence on the ballot.

    It’s taking COVID patients two months to die now. Just saying.

  60. 60.

    SFAW

    @Hildebrand:

    I have a very weird (and morbid) question – what would happen to the election if both Trump and Pence died before the election?

    A) America would be saved

    B) We’d have the first woman President, although for only two-plus months.

  62. 62.

    laura

    Imagine the buyers remorse you’d have after paying a quarter million to do the grip n grin at Bedminster and now you’ve gotten way more than you bargained for. Imagine being this close to realizing your dream of being appointed to the supreme court and returning us to the Lochner era only to find that every escort, every encounter was just dripping with a bad case of the hoax juju. Imagine the next 4 weeks of off off off Broadway production of the Masque of the Red Death opening and wowing audiences who gathered tightly together to bathe in the penumbra of MAGA. I’m imagining all that and more and saving my sympathies for the working stiffs and their loved ones who may have been exposed  and sickened by presidential hubris.

    Not feeling sorry for hope who is apparently not at all happy to have been underused as the source.

  67. 67.

    Wyatt Salamanca

    I wish Trump a very slow drawn out recovery which prevents him from holding any more of his disgusting hate rallies.  I also hope Trump recovers so that he’ll able to stand trial for his crimes once he leaves office.

    Vote this lying bastard out!

  68. 68.

    Jinchi

    @Gravenstone: I’m curious, just how quickly after exposure to the virus does it show up as positive if a person becomes infected. I’d assumed there was a couple of days delay, because not enough virus had built up earlier.

    So if Trump tested positive yesterday, it might be a few more days before Barrett showed positive, even if she was exposed by meeting with him.

  69. 69.

    Joe Falco

    @Jinchi:

    But in all seriousness, is this going to halt Senate business for a while?

    Depends. If he croaks, expect McConnell to give up an hour of time before going back to the confirmation process.

  70. 70.

    Betty Cracker

    If it’s a stunt, it’s a stupid one, but with the Trumps, that can’t be ruled out. I don’t know what to believe either, but I lean toward yep, he has it.

  71. 71.

    Almost Retired

    For my part, I am thoughtsing and praying for a full recovery by mid-month, so that he has to show up at the Town Hall and yell at voters.

  72. 72.

    rk

    It’s not a stunt. Only because he’s totally incapable of pulling it off. This guy can’t hold a coherent thought in his head. Can you imagine the effort it would take to keep up the stunt for two weeks! He’d give the game away within a day. Plus the science pretty much told us that his chances of getting COVID was high. I’m just surprised it took this long. He really triple dog dared the virus didn’t he?

  74. 74.

    EmbraceYourInnerCrone

    Utah Senator Mike Lee also tested positive Thursday

    Lee tests positive but vows to be back for Scotus votes

    “In a statement posted on his Twitter account, Lee revealed that he received his positive test results on Thursday, even after his test results came back negative during a visit to the White House just days earlier.”

    Also the head of the RNC:

    RNC chairperson tests positive Wednesday

    Ronna McDaniel last met in person with Trump last Friday.

    “After a member of her family tested positive for COVID-19, the Chairwoman was tested for the virus. On Wednesday afternoon, she got confirmation she was COVID-19 positive.”

  77. 77.

    Baud

    @JPL: Glad about that.  IIRC, it’s two weeks before we know that he’s out of the woods from being exposed to Trump.

  78. 78.

    Cermet

    @MattF: Sounds good – Hick’s was stupid; Melania was rtather trapped so her not too ill is ok. The rump getting sicker certainly opens the possibility he could progress far more.

  79. 79.

    Suzanne

    This is bonkers. This literally happened on the first day of the fourth quarter. This year has simply been bonkers. I’m so tired. So, so exhausted. Physically, mentally.

    I have been heartbroken for Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.

    I am trying to feel nothing about tRump and the fake FLOTUS but I’m not doing a good job of it. Karma is a bitch and she bites.

  82. 82.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    Incidentally my coworkers were raging at Trump during morning break about this. “He should be setting then example and he never wore a mask” was said a lot.

  84. 84.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    C) If it happened before the confirmation vote, Barrett’s nomination would be withdrawn.

    Why is that? [Not snarking, just wanted to know the actual legal basis for withdrawal.] I can see Moscow Mitch saying “we need to honor his request,” after spitting on RBG’s. [Not that I ever thought he’d honor her request.]

  85. 85.

    Bruce K

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    Confirmed by Biden’s twitter account:

    I’m happy to report that Jill and I have tested negative for COVID. Thank you to everyone for your messages of concern. I hope this serves as a reminder: wear a mask, keep social distance, and wash your hands.
    — Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) October 2, 2020

  87. 87.

    dmsilev

    There’s basically no way that he is faking this. It goes completely against his “I am the strong alpha male, dominator of all around me” persona, and furthermore from a cold political calculation p.o.v. it casts a glaring spotlight on his handling of the pandemic, which even a fair sized slice of his supporters are willing to admit has been bad (his approval on pandemic handling is somewhere in the low to mid 30s). Also, the one part of the job he truly seems to enjoy are those big hate rallies, and those are now dead and gone for at least the next couple of weeks and quite possibly until election day.

    I mean, “never underestimate the stupidity of Trump and his crew” is certainly a thing, so I guess it’s possible, but it just doesn’t fit with everything we know about Trump and his motivations.

  89. 89.

    Eric S.

    Poetic Justice dictates he hang on and remain conscious through November 4 when he sees Biden win 320 EV votes.

    Actual Justice has him recover, lose to Biden bigly, and then see him and his brood be jailed for their crimes.

  92. 92.

    Baud

    @SFAW: Not 100% sure, but the president nominates, and I believe the president can withdraw his nomination anytime before confirmation.

  93. 93.

    Hildebrand

    @Cermet: Which would be so much awesome.  That said, the election would still take place, would the Republicans be stuck trying to elect two dead men?

  94. 94.

    Jinchi

    @SFAW: We’d have the first woman President, although for only two-plus months.

    That’d probably be just long enough to break the glass ceiling.

    I’m curious who the Republicans would pick to replace Trump/Pence on the ticket though.

  95. 95.

    mdblanche

    @Calouste: For whatever it’s worth, the 1872 election established the precedent that votes by electors for someone who’s dead are invalid.

  98. 98.

    EmbraceYourInnerCrone

    @Wyatt Salamanca: Come sit by (6 feet away) me.  I don’t want him sick enough to give Pence a foot in the door.  not until after the election.  I do want him to feel plenty sick for a long, long time.  I have coworkers who have lost family to this.  I have coworkers who have family on dialysis, and on the transplant list after “recovering” from this (5 weeks in ICU and was a healthy, fit person in their 40’s) .  I want him to suffer from this.

    Affects virtually nobody my ass.

  100. 100.

    Jinchi

    @Eric S.: Actual justice would have Trump lose his voice completely and have to watch mutely shouting into the void as he lost everything.

  103. 103.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    “In the White House, advisers to the president acknowledged that the positive test would remind voters of how dismissive Mr. Trump had been about the virus… Mr. Trump’s recklessness, one adviser admitted, amounted to a political “disaster.”

    — Ben Sherwood (@bensherwood) October 2, 2020

  107. 107.

    Ruckus

    Woke up with this thought.

    What if, at some point in recent history, say within 1-3 yrs ago, experts from around the world got together and made a list of what country leaders should and shouldn’t do in the case of an airborne infectious disease of a new strain of pathogen that kills a lot of people and has no known vaccination response, and one leader did absolutely nothing on the should side of the list and everything on the don’t side of the list. What would your conclusion to that theoretical question be? Would you think this leader was insane, pathologically ignorant, deserved every bad thing that ever happened to him? Such as catching the disease because of his hate and ignorance? Or would your better angels not wish that on anyone?

    Because I know where I fall on this theoretical question.

  108. 108.

    Jinchi

    @Bruce K:

    I’m happy to report that Jill and I have tested negative for COVID. Thank you to everyone for your messages of concern. I hope this serves as a reminder: wear a mask, keep social distance, and wash your hands.
    — Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) October 2, 2020

    Honestly, that would be the perfect campaign ad.

  109. 109.

    trnc

    @Punchy: DT does not do sympathy moves or “woe is me” stuff.

    My first thought was, “What Trump have you been watching,” since perpetual victimhood is half of his schtick, but I guess you could make a distinction between battling the press and showing weakness through illness.

    Still, he’s the whiniest asshole I have ever seen, bar none.

  112. 112.

    rafah

    I’m just afraid this will be like March when the stupid rally around the chief reflex kicked in for a bit and his numbers went up.  Wouldnt put it past many in the US to suddenly decide to vote for him out of sympathy.  Especially if he gets sent to intensive care.   What makes anyone think we’ll react differently than the UK did?

  114. 114.

    MattF

    Also, wrt whether this is a stunt— the news leaked out and was confirmed only after everyone already knew. That’s the level of dishonest and evil incompetence we’re accustomed to. The Trumpites aren’t sufficiently self-aware to fake all of that so accurately.

  115. 115.

    trnc

    @oldgold: Some of the guest$ at yesterday’s Trump NJ fundraiser had to pay $250,000 to be exposed to Covid. They are pissed.

    Are they? I haven’t seen that, and “Thank you, sir, may I have another?” is the usual reaction to him shitting on his supporters.

  117. 117.

    Anya

    I am like, 90% that it’s some sort of a stunt. I guess we’ll know soon when the liars and pretenders rush to the reporters and give them the behind the scene lowdown. Of course Javanka would be the first “source familiar with Trump’s thinking”.

    Anyway, I wish them maximum pain and suffering but no death. Fuck them.

  119. 119.

    JimV

    He should follow his own advice and inject some bleach, stat.

    Personally, I hope he survives but is a long-hauler. So at last he could serve his country as an object lesson. A very object lesson (as in, “I object to everything he stands for.”)

  121. 121.

    Mike in NC

    If there’s another Nuremberg style rally, the cultists are liable to stay away in droves like they did in Tulsa. Because everything Trump touches literally dies.

  122. 122.

    dmsilev

    @rafah: He’s spent the last 8 months systematically and comprehensively fucking up the response to the pandemic; his approval rating on that question is down in the thirties. Any sympathy vote is going to be pretty small.

  124. 124.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    Not 100% sure, but the president nominates, and I believe the president can withdraw his nomination anytime before confirmation.

    Understood re: second part. I was wondering if the nom expires or gets withdrawn other than that, or when his term ends. Because I could see Traitor Turtle pushing it through, if he’s not constrained by law. [Not ignoring that a President Pelosi could/would withdraw ACB.]

  125. 125.

    Martin

    @Baud: Yes, President can withdraw at any time up until they are confirmed. Also, the nomination expires when the Senate term expires, so one possibility is that ACB isn’t confirmed by Jan 3, and a new nomination needs to be submitted but isn’t ACB, without any formal withdrawal.

  128. 128.

    Betty Cracker

    AZCentral.com:

    Former Vice President Joe Biden continues to lead President Donald Trump in Arizona with support reaching the critical 50% level with less than a week before ballots are sent out, a new poll finds.

    The same statewide poll found Democrat Mark Kelly with a commanding lead over Sen. Martha McSally, R-Ariz., suggesting Democrats in the state could sweep the top two races for the first time since 1944.

    A Suffolk University/USA TODAY Network poll of 500 likely voters in the battleground state showed Biden with a 4-percentage-point lead over Trump.

    Kelly led McSally by 9 percentage points.

    I like it when support reaches the critical 50% level…

  129. 129.

    Kent

    @SFAW: Not the Barrett nomination.

    They only need one day to vote her up or down in an “emergency”. They will find the time.

  130. 130.

    TaMara (HFG)

    Leaning more toward, not a hoax:

  131. 131.

    different-church-lady

    Better question: what happens if Trump dies before the election? Does the nomination automatically pass to Pence?

  133. 133.

    Kent

    @SFAW:Understood re: second part. I was wondering if the nom expires or gets withdrawn other than that, or when his term ends. Because I could see Traitor Turtle pushing it through, if he’s not constrained by law. [Not ignoring that a President Pelosi could/would withdraw ACB.]

    As I understand it, the nomination would officially expire (if not withdrawn) at the end of this term of Congress.  Starting on January 2 there is a whole new Congress and nothing carries over from the old one.  Everything has to be re-submitted from bills to nominations

  134. 134.

    trnc

    @JoyceH: If you play Russian roulette over and over again, eventually your luck runs out.

    Yup. The only question was whether the non-empty chamber would come in the form of covid or Vlad.

  136. 136.

    NickM

    @rafah: If you look at the timeline, Johnson peaked a few days before he was diagnosed and his numbers went down steadily after that.  There was no bonus for getting sick, and even less so here where Trump made fun of the whole notion of the virus.

    And given all the focus on presidential health, especially by Trump’s allies towards Biden, I’m not sure anyone thinks it’s a good idea to have a president who has been physically weakened by a disease that creates long-lasting and unpredictable effects, and it’s hard to imagine someone saying, “I was on the fence, but since he’s sick, I’m voting for him.”

  137. 137.

    Kent

    @different-church-lady:Better question: what happens if Trump dies before the election? Does the nomination automatically pass to Pence?

    The RNC could convene an emergency meeting and put another name forward, but realistically that is their only option at this point with the voting already starting.  More likely the RNC would need to convene to approve his new running mate so whomever Pence picks to run with him has some level of endorsement from the party.

  138. 138.

    RaflW

    One of several of my overnight worries: even if T+P lose the vote (and electoral college), Pence could become a lame duck president for a few weeks before January 20th, were Trump to be so incapacitated by poor health. And Mike could then pardon the whole dang crime syndicate, rendering Gerald Ford as a mere footnote in VP trash-emptying.

    (So we have to hold out hope for NY and other state criminal investigations, I think, if I understand the pardon crap??)

  139. 139.

    BC in Illinois

    Okay, you may have missed this:

    There is a silver lining.
    When Trump is out of this, he’ll be immune from Covid-19 and stronger than ever.
    My suggested motto for him going forward: “No more Mister Nice Guy”

    @DineshD’Souza
    That is, to be precise, convicted felon and medical/political/ethical expert Dinesh etc.

  141. 141.

    Ruckus

    @Jinchi:

    Yep.

    She may have married shitforbrains for his money, which of course he doesn’t have, but that comes with consequences and likely had points of some commonality or she wouldn’t have been able to pull it off.

  142. 142.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Calouste: It was candidate (and noted publisher) Horace Greeley, in 1872. He was technically a third-party candidate (“Liberal Republican”) but the Democrats apparently supported him since he’d be a fatal spoiler otherwise. He died in between Election Day and the meeting of the Electoral College. It was moot since he had gotten creamed by U. S. Grant in the election, but his electors seemed to be somewhat at sea–they didn’t all vote for his running mate, instead voted for several different people.

  143. 143.

    Wapiti

    @oldgold: Unless those guests are pissed enough that they’ll say “Fuck Trump and Fuck the Republican Party,” all I have to give them is thoughtsandprayers.

  145. 145.

    leeleeFL

    @CaseyL: I have had many thoughts that would definitely send me to hell, if I wasn’t sure that hell has been HERE for a while.

    The only thing keeping me from dancing in the streets is the fact that I do not think the universe loves me that much!  In spite of the fact that it has blessed me often by removing my enemies in many contexts.  I do not expect it.  Makes it more delicious when the Universe smiles at me.

  146. 146.

    Sab

    @yellowdog: I am good with that.

    Also, I wouldn’t mind watching his three or four oldest tussle with Melania’s parents to be sure Barron has an inheritance.

  147. 147.

    BCHS Class of 1980

    @trnc: Oh he’s whiny as ? when he can blame someone else but he’s always treated illness in others as a personal weakness. I’m on the “it’s for real” side. BTW I just heard that Manchin met with Barrett and that the president of Notre Dame has tested positive.

  148. 148.

    RaflW

    @Jinchi: I do regret that the Covid blockbuster bigfooted the fuck-Christmas hullabaloo.

    I mean, imagine a tape leaking in the fall of 2012 with Michelle just saying “I am so worn out from this WH Christmas work” (much less f-bombing or such). TV sets would have spontaneously combusted.

  149. 149.

    Jinchi

    @TaMara (HFG): Fr. John Jenkins, who was at the WH SCOTUS announcement on Saturday and was criticized for not wearing a mask and shaking hands, has tested positive for COVID-19.

    It’s starting to sound like we’ve discovered the super-spreader event.

    Who else was there? I remember photos of Christie and Alex Azar, but I’m assuming none of the other Justices were stupid enough to show up there.

  150. 150.

    patroclus

    The USSC ramifications are getting interesting.  Collins and Murkowski have both announced that they oppose voting before the election.  Mike Lee is now COVID+.  Mark Kelly could conceivably win his election in Arizona and be sworn in immediately after.  Holding a vote prior to the election is now at 51-49 and, with Lee quarantining, that’s 50-49.  After the election, if Kelly wins and is sworn in, that would make the Senate 52-48.  If Collins and Murkowski change from merely opposing the timing to outright opposition, that would make the vote 50-50, with Pence breaking a tie.

    We’re not there yet, but there is once again hope that this can be stopped.

  153. 153.

    Punchy

    @Jinchi:I’m curious who the Republicans would pick to replace Trump/Pence on the ticket though.

    Without a moment’s hesitation, I know who:  Sean Hannity.  Fox News’ alpha male, crazy-popular with the crazies.  The entire base knows him well, and he’d be bomb-throwing just like Trump.

  156. 156.

    Ruckus

    @Anya:

    Anyway, I wish them maximum pain and suffering but no death. Fuck them.

    I see that my question has the same answer for others as it did for me.

    If he has it, and I believe he does because he couldn’t admit to being anything but perfect (his version, not the rest of the known universe) I’d say him suffering for 200,000+ days hooked to a ventilator would be about right. Of course that’s not going to happen and the level of what’s possible for karma is much less than he deserves, it would still be like him to take the easy way out. OTOH he always does the worst thing possible so living another 25-30 yrs hooked to a machine that doesn’t allow him to speak or get up or……. At least he  seems to be fine with shitting in his pants……

  157. 157.

    Calouste

    @Hildebrand: They stay on the ballot, there’s plenty of precedent for candidates dying before Election Day. And then the electors get to vote for whoever the fuck they want, there’s precedent for that with the 1872 election, where a major candidate died a couple of weeks after the election, but before the electors had cast their votes.

    Practically, there will be massive infighting in the GOP to become the unofficial candidate, if they still think there’s a chance of winning.

  158. 158.

    JanieM

    @TaMara (HFG)   quoting a John Jenkins tweet:

    This positive test is a good reminder for me and perhaps for all…..

    No, you POS, not “for all” — Some of us aren’t arrogant shitheads, and we don’t need a “reminder” from the likes of a bunch of assholes who refused to take precautions that the rest of us have treated as elementary from the start

    ETA for clarity as to who actually wrote that garbage. It was the president of Notre Dame, with TaMara quoting him.

  168. 168.

    Lavocat

    I said EXACTLY the same thing to my wife this morning when she told me the news.

    I want this motherfucker to die an excruciatingly slow death from this thing and pass sometime after November 3 or January 20 (the latter date is the better date).

  169. 169.

    Calouste

    @different-church-lady: I just realized it might be anybody but Pence. A number of states have laws that require the electors to vote for the ticket that got the majority, so they would have to vote for Pence as VP, which means they can’t vote for him as President. If this happens, we’re all going to learn a lot about some old, obscure, and/or badly written election laws.

  171. 171.

    DTTM

    “Instant karma’s gonna get you/

    gonna knock you right in the head/

    Better get yourself together/

    Or soon you’re gonna be dead”  –John Lennon

  174. 174.

    Quiltingfool

    Welp.  Went shopping at Walmart today.  The store greeter  thanked me and two ladies for wearing masks; then she cheerfully told us the President* and First Lady* had Covid.  I replied that I had heard that.  She then said, even more cheerily, “Well, that’s what happens when you get too cocky!”  I sniggered a bit and agreed.  I don’t think she’s a fan…

    I have some questions.  Maybe I misread something last night, but it seemed that Hope Hicks tested positive AFTER she had symptoms.  Did I get that right?  See, I thought all those WH assholes, err, I meant aides, were tested DAILY.  So, I’m thinking that was a big fat lie, because she should have shown positive before getting sick, yes?  I mean, really, every single person working in the WH should have the best rapid test done every single damned day before they get inside.  I thought protecting the President was a very big deal.  Somebody screwed the pooch big time on this.

  175. 175.

    rafah

    @dmsilev: I hope you’re right.  And I do honestly want to see him get better soon.  I dont want him to die. I want him to suffer a humiliating loss and at the very least spend the rest of his days hounded by the New York DAs office.

  176. 176.

    cope

    So President Zero (thanks, Mr. Pierce) cancelled his conference call scheduled for today.  Gotta wonder about that.

  177. 177.

    TaMara (HFG)

    @Jinchi: It’s almost like God said, nah, I’m not onboard with taking healthcare away from millions and regulating women’s bodies.

    You know, if you think God is sending hurricanes, earthquakes and stuff.

  178. 178.

    Johnny's mom

    Here’s how I could see him faking it: Rumors are that his campaign is broke. Illness would cover for a multitude of financial sins. I’m more inclined to think he’s actually sicker than he’ll admit. He has to be able to spring forth from the White House doors, declaring the entire event a skip through the park.

  179. 179.

    divF

    One thing that I haven’t heard mentioned yet is the impact on Trump’s ability to contest the election. In quarantine, much less on a ventilator, he is not able to whip up his white-supremacist terrorists into a frenzy.

  181. 181.

    bcwbcw

    I heard that QAnon says that the Steven Miller and Bill Barr are out procuring young pedophile victims for their adrenochrome to give to Trump. …pass it on.

  183. 183.

    Sab

    @Quiltingfool: Every person working in the White House should wear a mask when they deal with President ( who is supposedly so important although I hope he gets hit with an asteroid.) That should have been basic protocol and would have been basic protocol if he weren’t such a deranged moron

    ETA : we have stricter protocols at my little home in  Ohio, and my father in his excellent nursing home in Ohio has vastley better protocalls.

    The virus does not care if you work in McDonalds, a mortuary, a nursing home or the White House. It really does not care.

  184. 184.

    Kent

    @divF:One thing that I haven’t heard mentioned yet is the impact on Trump’s ability to contest the election. In quarantine, much less on a ventilator, he is not able to whip up his white-supremacist terrorists into a frenzy.

    Dream scenario?  He gets sedated and put on a respirator before the election and wakes up to find out he lost, 25th Amendment is in effect, and it is too late to issue any pardons to self or his demon spawn.

  188. 188.

    EmbraceYourInnerCrone

    And here are Amy Coney Barrett’s husband and their 7 children sitting UNMASKED next to Melania last Saturday at the White House.  Other photos of the event show Barrett and her children up on the stage with Trump.  Again unmasked.  That’s some awesome care for your kids there…

    Amy C Barrett and family at White House

  189. 189.

    Sasha

    My sympathies and well-wishes for Trump are as deep and authentically heartfelt as Trump’s disdain for white supremacy.

  193. 193.

    Kent

    @SWMBO:@Kent: I was thinking Mike Pence. Now I’m wondering too.

    I was thinking Talibangelical Barbie describes Amy Coney Barrett to a T.

    There are so many choices.

  194. 194.

    Poe Larity

    I think this is an Epstein exit, he’s going to pull an Elvis and be sent to some island or Moscow. Deep RNC Coup led by Pence.

    This could be made to fit for QAnoners, we could just say Typhoid Don had to go undercover to root out the deep state.

  196. 196.

    James E Powell

    @Jinchi:

    I’m curious who the Republicans would pick to replace Trump/Pence on the ticket though.

    If it happened, I would not stand between Mitt Romney and a TV camera.

  198. 198.

    Cermet

    @rafah: Better if he dies – if the election gets thrown to the congress thanks to endless law suits via the thugs  – and the inferior court will  certainly side with them – he could win this even after lossing badly. Best for all if nature handles this problem – then we don’t suffer.

  200. 200.

    EmbraceYourInnerCrone

    @Sab: I don’t wish ill to the children at all, they are kids.  I don’t wish anything really bad on Barrett or her husband.  But why did they drag their 7 children across the country during a pandemic, and then take them to a crowded place without wearing masks or social distancing.   It would have been safer to leave them at home.

  201. 201.

    ET

    Fifty percent of me thinks he is lying. However, given the way, he behaves and what he believes, chances were REALLY HIGH he was going to get it so I think of course he has it.

  204. 204.

    sdhays

    @patroclus: I really don’t think we’re going to get there, but since we’re talking crazy hypotheticals – suppose Dump kicks the bucket before a vote happens and it’s 50-50, like you say (as incredibly unlikely as that is). There’s no VP to cast a tie-breaker. Does it deadlock? Is there some arcane rule that deals with this scenario?

  206. 206.

    Immanentize

     

    @Death Panel Truck:

    Look at how Ronna, her eyes are re-ed
    she’s not dancing, but covered in swe-eat.
    I tell her that I wish her Lu-uck
    But I’m too mad to give a fu-uck

    Hey! Now!
    Ronna’s got the Rona
    Hey! Now!
    Ronna’s got the Rona
    And I ain’t gonna
    be the one
    to help her

  207. 207.

    different-church-lady

    @Sab:

    Every person working in the White House should wear a mask full hazmat suit when they deal with President

    Which was true long before COVID-19.

  211. 211.

    Chacal Charles Calthrop

    @Kent: I think you mean Hope Hicks?  ACB doesn’t have the virus – at least according to her most recent test.

  214. 214.

    Subsole

    @Ruckus: I know the answer I should give.

    However.

    God forgive me, I have no pity left to spend on people who have never for one instant demonstrated so much as a scrap of it for anyone else.

    The only reason I am not laughing my ass off today is I don’t want the fucker dying before we take him to trial. After all he has done, he does NOT get off that easy. The people who enabled him do NOT get off that easy. No Epstein rules on this one.

  215. 215.

    hueyplong

    If Trump is even in the vacinity of asymptomatic or merely mildly symptomatic, they’ll prop him up in front of a TV screen “to reassure the nation that His Greatness is a-ok.”

    If they don’t do that, he’s in a bad way.  Let’s face it, his normal demeanor (swaying, sniffling, weird eyes) looks like a sick person.  If he can’t meet that standard…

  216. 216.

    mad citizen

    Agree with our Blogfather’s post here.  This man is our nation’s worst person, and there isn’t anything I don’t wish upon him.  His narcissism on top of everything else, how he has dominated our nation’s media, etc. has got me and so many of us to a terrible place, but we are there.

    On an optimistic note, regarding what Biden should do. I was going to say he should start early and then recalled that’s what Obama and his team had to do in 2008 because Republican financial crisis.  I think we’re looking at a similar scenario here, but this time pretty much everything is F’d.

  218. 218.

    WaterGirl

    @Jinchi: I don’t have a definitive answer, but if you have been traveling, you are supposed to get tested on Day 1 when you return, and then again on Day 5.

    That should tell you something useful.

  219. 219.

    Jinchi

    @hueyplong: Is anyone here monitoring Trump’s twitter account?

    It seems like that’s the best measure of his physical health.

    • If his posting drops dramatically, it’s a bad sign for him.
    • If his posting becomes more rational, it’s a worse sign (because someone else is probably posting).
    • If his posts continue to make people wonder ‘WTF is he even talking about now’, it’s a sign his superior genes and addiction to hydroxychloroquine have kept him in presidential shape.

    The official word will be that he has minor symptoms right up until Mike Pence takes an emergency oath of office.

  220. 220.

    ballerat

    @Anya:

    I wish them maximum pain and suffering but no death

    Over 200,000 Americans have died in the Trump genocide. Everything he did and every thing he didn’t do caused most of those deaths, often with willfulness and calculation — because they were minorities, because they were not “his” voters.

    Why would you wish them life when they have used their lives to help kill so many of us?

  225. 225.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @TaMara (HFG): IMHO it’s much more like back in mid-1916 GodDaddy got fed up with this planet’s inhabitants & said to Lucifer,

    I’m going on walkabout for a few years. Here (and he tosses over a thumb drive  marked “Simulation”), you’ve been wanting to mess with this for awhile, knock yourself out – but make sure to keep it running till I get back.

    And he just recently got back, looked at the computer & said,

    Jeebus H. Cripes on a Harley, what the frack have you done to this thing? It’s gonna take a shitton of work to straightenit out…so I guess I’d better get started. And you – you get back downstairs in the Ninth Circle where you belong, you putz!

  228. 228.

    J R in WV

    While I didn’t hear any details, I think I heard on one or another of the local news programs last night that Joe Manchin met in person with the newest fascist appointee to the Supreme Court, Amy Coney Barrett. If she is infected, she could have infected a Democratic senator, and we have a terrible Republican Governor who could appoint himself to the Senate, should Manchin die of the ‘rona.

    There are two ifs in there, a could, and an I think. But Manchin was the only Dem senator to meet with Amy Coney Barrett. Not funny at all.

  230. 230.

    Ruckus

    @Subsole:

    Like everything else in life, most of us rarely or never get the good answer. We get shit is what I’m saying. You can be bitter about that or you can smile and move on. We all seem to be playing parts of a joke, that is sometimes funny, sometimes anything but. shitforbrains part is really nothing like what most of us ever see, he’s a crap of a human being, and yet had far more than most anyone, every advantage necessary to live a comfortable life and enjoy himself but he’s seemingly always lusted after far more because he thinks it’s his due. He has most or every fault other than being a serial murderer and now that he’s fulfilled that role, in the joke version of life, he’ll not suffer anywhere to the level that he should, life being so fair and all. He’ll die a quiet death, that is at least somewhat fitting, in that he will actually suffer doing it, but he will get it wrong for all those deaths he caused, because he always does it wrong. Wrong is one of his middle names. I think it goes something like donald Wrong, Shitforbrains, Dumbass, Waste of Protoplasm, Racist Fuck, Worse than Useless trump. He is the extreme example of the Monty Python’s Upper Class Twit, seeing as how he has zero class, all his money comes from screwing people for it, and he is a twit extraordinaire.

  234. 234.

    ballerat

    @Geoduck:

    I am aware the virus is killing his own voters too.

    The virus has infected and killed minorities disproportionately, especially Black Americans and Hispanics. And it initially hit blue state cities hardest, likely due to population density.

    It was a cynical calculation that fewer of “his” voters would die, and in the short term, that is, until he gets re-elected, he wasn’t entirely wrong. And getting re-elected is all that matters to him.

    Trump is a psychopath. Killing his own supporters is still a win for him. So he does it.

    As for faking it, he lies all the time. It’s hard to believe him now. But I am shading toward it’s real. We will know soon enough.

  235. 235.

    J R in WV

    @BC in Illinois:

    Okay, you may have missed this:

    There is a silver lining.
    When Trump is out of this, he’ll be immune from Covid-19 and stronger than ever.
    My suggested motto for him going forward: “No more Mister Nice Guy”

    @DineshD’Souza
    That is, to be precise, convicted felon and medical/political/ethical expert Dinesh etc.

     

    When IF Trump is out of this, he’ll be immune from to Covid-19 and stronger than ever potentially will be unable to play golf, to stand or walk, to think clearly, to remember simple things, and unable to make decisions about his own care. They call those “Long Haul” recovery patients. It can take weeks before you can stand or walk, or have adequate O2 levels without supplemental oxygen through a nasal canula.

    I have an good idea — let’s put “Doctor” Dinesh D’Souza in charge of President Trump’s treatment and overall health care!!!

    ETA to fix typos.

    [email protected]: BS in Illinois  Thanks for posting this not so insightful nor intelligent comment from convicted felon Dinesh, I don’t follow him and so wouldn’t have had this opportunity to make fun of him.

  236. 236.

    J R in WV

    @JanieM:

    a John Jenkins tweet:

    This positive test is a good reminder for me and perhaps for all…..

    Father Jenkins went to a party, maskless, with people who weren’t tested and cleared recently, if ever. How many students has the “good” “Father” expelled, suspended, etc, for attending parties and spreading Sars-Covid-19?

    If he or the Deans reporting to him have disciplined a single student for partying, he and those Deans (or whatever title Notre Dame uses for the administrative management staff) should suffer the same penalty — fired, leave without pay, whatever.

    Good for the Goose, good for the Gander, etc. No surprise that the Fr apparently has never thought of the contrast between his irresponsible behavior and his treatment as a result and the treatment of students for the exact same behavior.

    He also apparently was irresponsible a few days before this egregious example, because he was apparently a potential source for the infection of “President” Trump and Trump’s minions who are now infected. So should have been fired for that infraction.

    What kind of University doesn’t hold staff and leadership to a higher standard than frat boize? Not to mention he’s in theory a religious leader, but not setting a good example for his sheep.

  237. 237.

    Citizen Alan

    @Kent: Except ACB is not a Talibangelical, is she? I thought she was one of those Shiite Catholics. The ones who think they’re more Catholic than the Pope.

  238. 238.

    Miss Bianca

    @laura: 

    Imagine being both rich enough *and* stupid enough to pay a quarter mil for the privilege of being exposed to COVID-19 at a MAGAt rally.

  241. 241.

    Tehanu

    So nice to know I’m not alone in my reaction. Not wasting any sympathy on him or Melanoma. They can get in line behind the 208,000 dead and counting in this country and I feel sure by the time they got to the front of the line my reserves of sympathy would be used up.

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