Here’s a bit more on that novel idea to dispose of Confederate monuments that was alluded to by TaMara in the live Biden event coverage downstairs.
The group, White Lies Matter (Inc!), stole a commemorative “Jefferson Davis Chair” that was placed in an Alabama cemetery by the (white) “Ladies of Selma” in 1893. White Lies Matter, Inc. says they’re holding the chair captive to force the United Daughters of the Confederacy (UDC) to post a banner at that organization’s Richmond headquarters on Confederate surrender day, which falls on Friday this year.
The cheeky chair-nappers are threatening to turn the stone throne into a toilet if their demand isn’t met. Via AL.com:
A Confederate monument valued at $500,000 was stolen in March from a Selma cemetery, officials confirmed today.
This morning, a group that claims to have taken the monument, the Jefferson Davis Memorial Chair, sent emails to AL.com saying they will give the chair to the United Daughters of the Confederacy if that organization agrees to hang a banner outside its Richmond, Va. headquarters.
In those emails, a group calling itself White Lies Matter say they stole the chair from the Old Live Oak Cemetery and are demanding that the UDC hang a large banner at 1 p.m. on Friday — the anniversary of the Confederacy’s surrender in the Civil War — and leave it there for 24 hours.
The banner, which the group says has already been delivered to the UDC, is emblazoned with a quote from Assata Shakur of the Black Liberation Army: “The rulers of this country have always considered their property more important than our lives.”
White Lies Matter, Inc. says if the UDC complies, they’ll not only return the chair but “we will clean it to boot.” As proof of life, they sent a photo of the purloined chair in its undisclosed location:
The UDC are not amused but are Trumpish, which is utterly unsurprising:
A woman who answered the phone at the Virginia offices of the UDC said she had heard the reports of the theft and ransom demand were “fake news” and there was no immediate response to an email to the organization seeking further comment.
Selma police and District Attorney Michael Jackson confirmed the theft and said they were aware of the ransom demand.
I kinda hope the UDC doesn’t comply and White Lies Matter, Inc. keeps the chair and turns it into a toilet. I further hope they follow up by sending an update in the form of a photo with the chair configured for its new, infinitely more useful role.
Moreover, I admire White Lies Matter, Inc.’s strategy for dealing with Confederate nonsense; mockery and derision are exactly what Confederacy venerators in the year of our lard 20 and 21 deserve. That said, I can’t help but worry that the White Lies Matter, Inc. people will get into legal hot water. If they do, perhaps we can do a fundraiser?
Also, White Lies Matter, Inc. is kinda badass. And they have a sense of humor too. I mean, look at that poster! Open thread!
Open Thread: UPDATED: Now More Biden Live on Vaccinations
Martin
Shame William Tecumseh Sherman isn’t around to deal with the confederate monument problem. He would have had thoughts.
TaMara (HFG)
Yay!
Raoul Paste
I’m surprised there’s not a newspaper sitting on top of the chair, showing today’s date
That’s the classic hostage photo
Major Major Major Major
AL.com link’s broken.
Betty Cracker
@Major Major Major Major: Fixed — thank you!
Old School
Not sure if the chair can be cleaned with just soap and water or if something more is needed. But is certainly looks like it needs cleaning before it can be used as a toilet.
Yutsano
Link no work. Please to fix.Also: I’m not the strongest on property theft, but there is a component of resistance that says that breaking a few rules in the sake of moral justice is acceptable. Plus even if the chair gets turned into a toilet yeesh is that an ugly thing! I don’t even think cleaning it would help that.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
The mad lads at White Lies Matter clearly are determined to get to bottom of this problem.
lgerard
The funniest part of this is the idea that this piece of junk is worth $500,000. I think we need to call in Antiques Roadshow for a second opinion.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Also, does the Jeff Davis chair come complete with the Mrs Davis shawl?
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
I appreciate the cluelessness of an organization that replaces a lost or destroyed Nathan Bedford Forrest bust.
I wonder who these UDC hags are, and how their family businesses, churches, clubs and connections can be vilified along with them?
debbie
Cheeky bastards! May they prevail!
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
@lgerard:
To be honest, the Antiques Roadshow frauds would inflate it to 750K. There’s never enough opportunity to inflate.
mrmoshpotato
@Yutsano:
A good cleaning will let its ugliness really shine!
patrick II
I love the idea and the execution of the plan. I worry that they will be caught and given it is Alabama that outrageous charges brought — like “kidnapping a Southern Rebellion Hero chair” with a life sentence or some such B.S.
But public mockery is exactly the right tone.
Mike in NC
One of my earliest experiences with a Conrederate monument was in Old Town Alexandria, VA in 1990. It was — to me — both an eyesore and a traffic hazard, as it was at in intersection on King Street.
NotMax
Quasi-obligatory?
BTW, the headline reminded me of a local radio ad for a well-established cleaning service here. Read by the owner of the company. The script refers to “the novel coronavirus,” which he conspicuously pronounces as “the KNOW-vell coronavirus.” Apparently the engineers at the radio station don’t listen in much when recording ads in order to correct stuff like that.
Mike in NC
The proper test of a Confederate monument is to load them onto a barge and tow them some distance out to sea. Then demonstrate how well they float.
kindness
I’m so glad you were able to resurrect this post Betty. Good job!
trollhattan
@Mike in NC:
If a witch, it will float!
Benw
Confederate surrender day should be a federal holiday!
NotMax
Think I’ve seen that same chair design in like 8 Karloff movies. Or maybe it was Vincent Price.
:)
Spanky
That’s a half million Confederate dollars. I.e., about a buck ninety nine U.S.
dmsilev
@Benw: Just four more (shopping) days until Appomattox Courthouse Surrender Day!
NotMax
@dmsilev
Check the flyers for stores running white sales?
bbleh
It really would make a lovely art project, sort of in the Andres Serrano tradition.
@Martin: A red-bearded “amen” to that! Toyed with the idea of a “Sherman’s March” project last month — fundraising, rabble-rousing, that sort of thing. But I suppose any month is good enough!
@lgerard: The $500K valuation stinks of manipulating the legal system to screw over WLM if they’re ever caught.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Spanky:
Okay, now it makes sense….
Ken
Sandblasting? Scrubbing with hydrofluoric acid? A jackhammer to get into those hard-to-reach crevices?
Sister Golden Bear
If it wasn’t mentioned downstairs, Arkansas today became the first state to ban trans-related medical treatments for transgender youth.* To repeat: They’re. Denying. Healthcare. To. Kids.
While I appreciated the governor’s veto yesterday, I wasn’t rejoicing because the override was pretty a certainty.
*The article linked to talks about how it also bans gender confirmation surgeries for trans youth — but neglects to mention that trans kids already have to wait until age 18 for surgeries anyway. It’s a “lying for the Lord” tactic used by the trans-haters.
dmsilev
@NotMax: Surrender Day has gotten so commercial over the last several years. And I’m so tired of hearing Battle Hymn of the Republic and Marching Through Georgia playing on loop in all of the stores.
dmsilev
Some good news: Dianne Feinstein signals she’s open to abandoning Senate filibuster for voting rights
She’s always been one of those “sacred traditions of the Senate” people, and has not really adapted very well to the new realities of the Republican Party, so this is nice to see. Now, if only someone can pound some sense into a pair of Senators from West Virginia and Arizona….
Sister Golden Bear
@Sister Golden Bear: To clarify (since edit time ran out) the claim that trans kids are getting these surgeries is a “lying for the Lord” tactic used by the trans-haters.
Betty Cracker
@Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: I once accidentally walked into a private meeting room at a fancy restaurant that was occupied by the UDC Florida’s statewide conference. They were exactly what you’d expect.
Benw
@dmsilev: Confederate Surrender Day traditions:
Everyone displays or waves little white flags
MLB shows marquee games during the day
Family gatherings for pizza + lemonade/beer dinner
Kids get to smash a confederate flag pinata
Fireworks!
NotMax
@Ken
Oxalic acid is usually first go-to. Have used it in the past to clean and recondition natural stone-faced fireplaces/chimney stacks (note: NOT recommended for use on marble) . Bar Keeper’s Friend is a somewhat diluted version of that.
NotMax
@dmsilev
“Grandma Got Run Over by a Rebel” holds up, though.
:)
Anonymous At Work
Not saying the 2022 Nobel Peace Prize is claimed and won, but there’s a clear front-runner from America’s end.
zhena gogolia
@Yutsano:
inorite
zhena gogolia
@NotMax:
Needs moar cobwebs
Geminid
It is no surprise that the heroes of the Lost Cause myth were losers. Jeff Davis probably did more to destroy the Confederacy than any man besides Ullysses Grant and Abraham Lincoln.
A contemporary charitably described Jefferson Davis as “Cold as a reptile. Ambitious as Lucifer.”
NotMax
@dmsilev
Gotta link Alan Sherman.
;)
Citizen_X
@Betty Cracker: Please tell me that you fake-drunkenly shouted at their Chair, “Hey Meemaw! Is this where the Chippendale dancers are gonna be?”
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@dmsilev: I get that Synema is in a reddish-purple state, but she’s four years from her next campaign and I can’t quite process that, for whatever reason, she’s decided this is the issue she wants to fight her own party on, even wrt reform
link to a WSJ story, I’ll pay for a handful of sources, never one owned by the Murdochs
Tall Tom
My dad was a fan of Civil war history, reading books all of the time. Our summer vacations always included a stop at a battlefield or two. As a young kid I was bored out of my skull. Oh boy, more cannons to look at. Looking back, these battlefields really needed one thing: Civil War monuments. Move them from the cities to the battlefields, so that the battlefield historians can talk about the truth of the people that lived then, and not a (white)washed history.
zhena gogolia
@Geminid:
The plaque that was on that chair says he was the manliest of men. No kidding.
Baud
@zhena gogolia:
And here we thought Trump’s inspiration was Hitler.
narya
completely off topic, but: Special Friend appears to be getting vaxxed today, at his local pharmacy. There will be great rejoicing if this is true . . .
rikyrah
I am still obsessing about Stabler’s return.
19 Of Benson And Stabler’s Best Moments From “SVU” That Make My Heart Go “Dun Dun”
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ehisosifo1/timeline-best-benson-stabler-moments-svu
Spanky
@zhena gogolia: As far as stone chairs go, Abraham Lincoln’s is way bigger.
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
@Betty Cracker:
I think I’ve mentioned how my parents (particularly my dad) are into hoarding an over abundance of poorly sourced, not-well-provenance antiques, particularly all things with curlicues – Victoriana – an aesthetic I despise with the white hot passion of 10,000 suns. And my mom, being an RWNJ, is a particular admirer of the Confederacy.
As a result, my bedroom was an eyesore of antiques. The thing I hate the most is a bad Robert E Lee painting. I want it burned, and have made the kids promise that if mom outlives me, they’ll do it.
Ken
@NotMax: Interesting. So if one didn’t want to damage or destroy this chair thingy, oxalic acid would be the way to go. I’ll try to remember that if such a situation ever comes up?
NotMax
@Tall Tom
The sloped ceilings in the attic of Belle Grove mansion in Virginia (barely a hop and skip from the site of the battle of Cedar Creek) has, protected by chicken wire as it is fragile over a century old cracking plaster on lath, graffiti left by soldiers, written and drawn with soot from oil lamps.
Delk
Those daughters must be real fucking old.
Roger Moore
@Old School:
It should at least get pressure washed.
SiubhanDuinne
@dmsilev:
Have to admit, though, that I always like the day after, when the Dixie Peeps go on sale.
debbie
@rikyrah:
LOL. Did you watch the premiere last week? I’m not sure they can untether Organized Crime from SVU. We may need constant crossover events.
trollhattan
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Wait ’til you get a load of her stance on five downs in football.
hueyplong
I absolutely, positively do celebrate Confederate surrender day. The Holy Week begins with April 2 (Richmond surrender/abandonment day).
Also September 2 (Atlanta surrender day, as well as the day the Japanese showed up on the deck of the Missouri).
And, of course, July 4 (Vicksburg surrender day).
For a bunch of shit-talking slave drivers, the Confederates did a lot of surrendering.
Old Man Shadow
Sounds good. Melt down all the Confederate statues and monuments and turn them into porta-johns stationed outside restaurants with a C- score from the health department.
Hell, I hope Barron turns his father’s eventual grave into a pay toilet too. He’d make more money in a year than his scumbag old man made his entire fucking life.
sab
I want a copy of that poster, but I can’t imagine how they could sell it without being caught.
Oldest grand-daughter finally got first shot, ways away in Trumpish territory. Warren, near Goku’s home turf. At Giant Eagle, also his home turf.
Got my hair cut first time in almost a year. He was amazed how fast my hair grows. Last year a pixie cut (I had my first pixiecut in 1956 when I was two) to this year a stubby ponytail. I could sit on my hair in highschool, and braid it and pigtail it in all sorts of ways. But it weighed a lot. Took forever to wash and longer to dry. Got caught in everything. I hated it.
I am pretty pleased to have my low maintenace pixie back. Plus much more flattering to my face. Gorgeous hair that is like a beautiful unbecoming hat.
MomSense
@Sister Golden Bear:
The christianists like to skip that ninth commandment.
smith
@hueyplong: I’ve been celebrating it periodically since the dark days of December. Just as the news of Goobers’ election denial was getting to be overbearing, I happened to hear a rendition of “Battle Hymn of the Republic” on the stream I was listening to. I thought, yeah, we beat them once, we can do it gain. I’ve downloaded a version that I turn on now and again when I need to be reminded.
CaseyL
“White Lies Matter” – I like that, a lot, and may find occasions to use it from now on.
The chair looks thoroughly disgusting. That’s, what, 120 years’ worth of bird poop? I’d rather shit in the woods, thanks!
MomSense
@sab:
I’m envious of your hair cut! I gave myself a “Rachel” in May of last year. Now my hair is down to the middle of my back. Too much effort to deal with. Middle of May I’m getting my hair cut.
cain
@Anonymous At Work:
awww.. shucks.. you’re makin me blush!
NotMax
@sab
Did you iron it?
For the skeptical, yes, that was A Thing, in imitation of the look of she from Peter, Paul and Mary.
BruceFromOhio
Of course she did, bless her heart.
If the WLM chair-nappers get busted, I am so in for the GoFundMe to spring ’em.
JustRuss
@lgerard: Yeah, somebody needs to explain how an ugly chair plopped in a cemetery by a bunch of racists is worth half a million.
sab
I have heard that wars take three generations to heal.
I was born in 1954. My mother was born in 1928.
My mother’s paternal grandmother lost her oldest surviving half-sibling at one of the battles of Bull Run. Her mother lost the only surviving child from her first marriage that ended in widowhood. The bereaved mother was my great-great grandmother. But she raised the decedent’s youngset half-sister to mourn him.
debbie
@NotMax:
I ironed mine, once. A friend told me about it, but forgot to tell me to put a towel between my hair (almost to my waist) and the iron.
My father freaked out, rushing downstairs because he thought something in the basement had caught fire. “It’s only me, Daddy.”
One side was shoulder length, the other almost waist length. My over-controlling mother was not amused.
zhena gogolia
@NotMax:
You’ll like this hand-made Russian LOTR from 1991:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vquKyNdgH3s
NotMax
@JustRuss
The seating at the grave of Tyrone Power is not only more tasteful but more practical.
;)
WaterGirl
@rikyrah: @debbie: I promised a thread on the return, but there was too much going on on BJ the day after, and then I promptly forgot! Maybe tonight?
edit: or maybe on Friday, after the second episode airs on Thursday?
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
Oh my. Doctor Zhivago need have no worries about competition.
:)
WaterGirl
@sab: Yesterday I got my first haircut SINCE JUNE. I feel much more human now!
mrmoshpotato
@Mike in NC:
@trollhattan: What if any of this Confederate trash does float? Do we get to burn it then?
NotMax
@WaterGirl
Not trying to be a noodge about it, but – Firefox thread?
sab
@NotMax: Of course not. It was naturally straight. My beautiful older sister did, and scorched a hole in hers. She was beautiful. I was cosmetically competent. Fifty years later we still have issues. She had glorious naturally curly hair that she hated and I would have killed for. Plus she was beautiful and I was merely cute.
catfishncod
@Baud: He was. Davis was Hitler’s role model.*
* Okay, maybe not specifically, but he and other Nazis mentioned the Jim Crow South as a place to mine for ideas on discriminatory laws.
WaterGirl
@NotMax: Yeah, I had it planned, and then I realized that the Firefox situation you were solving was different from the Firefox situation that Steeplejack was solving.
I had thought they were one and the same, just with different solutions. But no, they are completely different.
Then I wondered whether anyone else might be having your problem or if it might have been specific to your (unusual, no judgment) setup, and I didn’t want to do a post about something that wouldn’t be relevant to anyone else.
So then I punted and decided it was a decision for another day. :-)
sab
@WaterGirl: I feel like my head is floating. Hair weighs a lot. Plus back to two second showers where your hair dries in your lifetime.
TomatoQueen
@Mike in NC:
that bastard traffic hazard is still there, but there is a long-standing conspiracy to get it removed. The obstacle is UDC, which, superannuated old dears that they are, seems to have this pattern of not answering email.
Meanwhile, Alexandria still sports two streets named after Jubal Early, and the one that grinds my gears, a long long long street through a low-income residential neighborhood named Taney Avenue. TC Williams, local racist, is still remembered by the only local public high school, but that may change in the next year.
Jefferson Davis Highway is renamed Richmond Highway. Progress in my town.
?BillinGlendaleCA
I headed up to the eastern San Gabriels to get some AeroChrome pics of snow, I climbed a bit up Mt. Baden-Powell in this endeavor. There was a trial that went downhill(the trail to Baden-Powell is uphill), and I wondered where it went. Looking at maps upon my return, it goes to Big Horn mine and Vincent’s Gulch. I learned that just off the Vincent’s Gulch trail is Vincent’s Cabin. So what does this have to do with the post? Vincent(aka Charles Vincent Dougherry) was a Civil War veteran with a service ending injury in Gettysburg. He passed in 1926 and is buried at the LA National Cemetery in Westwood.
Miss Bianca
@Betty Cracker:
OMG, Betty. That sounds like a scene out of a movie. Like “Fried Green Tomatoes” as re-written and directed by Mel Brooks.
NotMax
@WaterGirl
It’s a workaround to a non-keyboard solution, different in that respect than the one Steeplejack provided, and will work for all. My particular set-up has no bearing on it. Can also be implemented in conjunction with Steeplejack’s with no ill effect.
Anyone and everyone who has updated to Firefox 87 has lost the back arrow within the browser, which this replicates the function of by way of clicking on screen rather than using the keyboard.
Miss Bianca
@SiubhanDuinne: OMG – “The Dixie Peeps” is TOTALLY my next band name!
Geminid
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Have you read any of the Louis Lamour novels with LA area settings. Lamour lived in LA, and was a assiduous researcher. The Californios,
WaterGirl
@sab: Your hair is clearly thicker than mine! :-)
TheOtherHank
I was due for a haircut before the lockdown started. I told my wife that I will get it cut again when I can go to the barber shop without a mask. Given that the California government announced their goal of full reopening in mid-June, I think my countdown has started.
Geminid
@?BillinGlendaleCA: continuing: Louis L’Amour’s The Californios, The Lonesome Gods, and other novels give an account of Los Angeles and its surrounds across the middle 19th century. Mojave Crossing is a picaresque account of the narrator’s difficult travels from the Mojave to 1870s Burbank, Los Angeles, Santa Monica, and the San Gabriel Mountains. This novel features a semi-retired pirate, and a treasure stashed in the mountains above Malibu.
L’Amour’s westerns are well written, but may not appeal to you as literature. They were well researched, though, and several of your excellent photo contributions have reminded me of the Southern California world that Lamour depicted.
RandomMonster
@WaterGirl: I haven’t had a haircut since Feb 2020. I’m wearing my hair like I did in my grunge days in the late 80’s – 90’s. I’ve decided this doesn’t really work anymore at my age and I can’t wait to get my haircut in May.
Ken
“If we do not receive a reply within seven days, your organization’s assent to the removal of the statue will be assumed.”
Ken
@Geminid: Several of Kage Baker’s “Company” stories and novels are set in 17th through 19th century California, and are well-researched.
(OK, there weren’t any time-travelling cyborgs in reality. Not that we know of.)
WaterGirl
@RandomMonster: I was beginning to feel/look like the Count of Monte Cristo when he was finally let out of his cell.
StringOnAStick
I am so looking forward to a haircut, the last was in August. I keep it long enough to wear a ponytail for sports but I’m strangling myself at night now and it is hard to get it all inside my ski jacket hood or keep it out from under backpack shoulder straps. Soon…
grumbles
These are my kinda people.
Hell, I worry that they’ll be found out by the local good ole’ boys.