I have decided that I am going to dedicate the roof of my shed to the crows. I will put the decoys up there, and feed them up on top. That way they will feel safe from any of the ground critters.
And don’t worry about the songbirds- those feeders are in the front yard and the ones in the back are closer to the deck. And the hummingbird feeders are close to the deck to, although I’m not really worried about those vicious little fuckers.
Crows around here love dry cat food. They don’t want any of your regular birdfood shit.
Involving your scaling a ladder to reach the roof?
Ai yi yi.
guessing that there’s a greater than zero chance he’ll find the missing mustard up there…
Didn’t the mustard go missing at the previous residence?
Just be ready to shoot lightning bolts from your fingers. Those Jedi are a real problem
@JoyceH: doesn’t mean it couldn’t end up at the new residence
I was not aware that you could attract crows with crow decoys.
Mysteries of the universe. I mean, it had to go somewhere, right?
is the mustard thread. (MazeDancer had it in a Greatest Hits thread.)
Glad I’m not the only one who went there.
Google “attract crows to my yard.” Apparently, wanting a yard full of crows is a thing, and yes, decoys are recommended.
I think I will google “getting rid of crows” next, just to stay ahead.
@Ohio Mom: 12 gauge, case of shells, backhoe
Technically speaking, crows are songbirds. And if you really pay attention to them, you’ll find they make a lot more sounds than caws, many of which are actually really nice.
This may have already been posted in one of today’s earlier crow threads, but I thought I’d share it for amusement – just in case it hasn’t:
“[oregon] I accidentally created an army of crow body guards. Am I liable if my murder attempts murder?: legaladvice” https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ki6fnd/oregon_i_accidentally_created_an_army_of_crow/?sort=top
Follow up –
“[oregon] I accidentally created an army of crow body guards. Am I liable if my murder attempts murder? UPDATE: The crows saved a life: legaladvice” https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/lobhtj/oregon_i_accidentally_created_an_army_of_crow/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=&utm_content=post_body
@Roger Moore: Also technically speaking, all birds are theropod dinosaurs. Some just remember the old habits better than others
One of the more visceral (pun intended) demonstrations of this I recall, was the sight of a robin dismembering a large worm into bite-size pieces.
My friend, thinking you are smarter than a crow is folly.
Well, it was nice knowing you all. Crows are going to outsmart Cole, eat his liver, and then he’s going to explode.
@Mousebumples: Nice. Thanks.
We’ve got crows around here and in the mornings a few of them look for dropped shelled sunflower seeds from our RollerFeeders. They hassle the occasional owl, hawk, and bald eagle but seem to mainly keep to themselves. I don’t think I want them to get too protective – our Ellie doesn’t like them. ;-)
@Martin: I believe you are thinking of Prometheus. Although John’s gift of Balloon Juice has been a boon to humanity, I don’t think it quite ranks up there with fire, so he’s probably safe from the wrath of Greek gods.
I heartily endorse this decision. Crows are awesome birds. A friend of mine in RI had a quasi-pet injured crow that he was nursing to health. As you can see here, they had a real relationship: https://www.instagram.com/p/BfV5FZIgkPn/?igshid=18c1l5dx6iyj5
“A new god, but a very hard worker.”
– Pseudolus, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Wait, why are we inviting crows again? Of all the many lovely birds near me, the crows are the ones that annoy me. There is certainly no shortage of them.
What happened? Did the crow get better and go back to wild?
Oh shit. The crows will be too close to the willow which is too close to the house, and well, you all get the picture.
Which is too close to the fabled Field of Automotive Destiny?
@NotMax: Most definitely!
That is the problem with America. We try and try to manage nature. Pesticides, herbicides, kill the wolves and grizzlies, prevent forest fires and on and on.
Squirrel problems are the result of 1) bird feeders and 2) lack of predators.
How would I fix that? Quit using feeders and don’t deadhead your flowers so the seed eaters change from feeders to flower seeds. Quit raking leaves and leave leaf litter which a) puts nutrients into your ground for trees and b) gives cover for insects which attract lots of insect eating birds.
Finally, tear the back fence down so the coyotes and bobcats can patrol for squirrels
At work, sunrise and sunset are some of the best times.
Just east of us is one of the largest crow rookeries in the Lower Rainland.
At sunrise they fly out in the hundreds of thousands, in every direction, and at sunset, they fly back. Some of us, really appreciate them, so, we get crows who recognize us, who stop their commute for a quick chat.
Sometimes I envision a 40 foot tall chicken on the horizon spotting me some 300 yards away and making a mad dash to grab me. I look around for a place to hide and it makes me realize how vulnerable insects are. Yeah, I am weird.
What sound does a 40 foot tall chicken make? “Here kitty kitty”
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Bobcat, you say?
Lycus, not Pseudolus!
When I look at emus, I’m amazed it took this long for paleontologists (or anyone, really) to realize that. If ever there was a bird that looks like a throwback to the Good Old Days, it’s an emu.
I’d love to make friends with the local crows, but I really don’t need a murder following me everywhere. Also, they might decide my cats are rivals for my affection, which would be an extremely bad thing – for the cats.
Clearly this creation of a crow’s nest is just part one of Cole’s plan. Part two was summarized by H.L.Mencken:
“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
@Ohio Mom: “Two volumes, How to Wean Vultures, …” (Spike Milligan)
The idea was first proposed shortly after Darwin published The Origin of Species by Thomas Henry Huxley. I don’t know if he used emus as support for his idea; my source mentions Archaeopteryx, which had recently been unearthed.
They go on to say the Richard Owen, the premier dinosaur expert at the time, disagreed and his opinion held.
Oops. You are correctamundo.
Really, I am not obsessed and I haven’t watched the movie version at least 20 times.
Never read or heard The Twa Corbies, Cole? They will eat your liver.
@Morzer: When I do break out the flag, it’s rising to the tune of Pirate Jenny.
@JoyceH: the crows will bring it back.
@Roger Moore: Yes re: crow’s language…crows in their nest make all manner of unique clicks and clacks…the caws seemed to be saved for announcing their departure from the nest and cruising the neighbourhood, or when they are cooperatively chasing off bald eagles, who love to take their eggs.
Apologies if this has been already raised, but the PBS doc, “A Murder of Crows”, is a great primer on crows, including, if memory serves, the tidbit that the CIA funded some of the research done at U of Washington into crows.
Left out of the movie, the play has a line right after that – Miles Gloriosus being told he’s being relied on to “hold that Tiber.”
Time to go nukular and just get some Ravens.
Inspired by comments on a recent thread:
Three Dog Night.
Incidentally, Ivor Novello also starred in both early versions of The Lodger – Hitchcock’s 1927 silent and the (non-Hitch) 1932 sound remake.
in 20001’s Gosford Park one of the characters is a quasi-fictionalized version of Novello, and the soundtrack includes several songs the real Novello composed.
You can see movies from the future? I am so impressed.
Advance tickets on sale now.
Should read: 2001’s.
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
That’s about 22 hours from now.
@Ken: Mine was a crow dismembering a mourning dove in my front yard by my feeders. THAT is why I do not encourage crows. No matter how far away your feeders are, they will come for some snacks.
Your neighbors are not going to thank you when the crows come and stay that’s for sure. I would not be surprised to see fake owls hanging in your neighbor’s yards.
Oh and they LOVE produce so look for damaged fruit and veggies from your garden.
Okay, we all know that this is a terrible idea, because crows are vicious cunning bandits who will take over the Cole household.
But how do we know this hasn’t already happened, and the last three posts by “John Cole” were actually written by the crows?
Someone check in on him.
All of this! Horrible birds. Loud, mean and destructive. I’d love to get rid of the crows that nest in the pine trees we and all our neighbors have. I’m not a bird fan to begin with (though I do like watching the raptors that populate our river banks) because they are just dirty and covered in bugs. But the crows are the worst. No redeeming qualities like a lovely song. Just constant screeching, chasing the songbirds and squirrels away and destroying the fruits of our garden. I hate them. But Cole gotta do Cole, so he’ll learn.
@geg6: Yeah, I am not sure this crow adventure of Cole’s is going to end well.
Crows will never think to check out the front yard?
Having watched crows come from God knows where to the rhododendron bush next to my house, tear robin babies out of their nest and devour them alive in my driveway, I think you are making a mistake with respect to the smaller birds in your yard.
Yeah — they are very respectful of boundaries. They don’t fly or anything like that.
Watch for the warning signs. They would of course be different for crows than in that comic. We might see “John” asking people to post more pictures of shiny things, for example; or to drop off buckets of mealworms at his house.
You are going to be hysterical when they kill your baby birb’s. Your yard is not big enough to actually keep them separate. Yeah I know you are contrary.
This has actually been useful to me as the various links have clarified why my feeders aren’t getting the birds I want. Now I need to figure out how to get rid of the crows I have.
Crows will eat almost anything. That’s why they are such good survivors. I like Ravens more but have to go up the hills to see them around here.
@Morzer: the movie version of A Funny Thing… is such an overblown extravaganza compared to the play, which is much funnier in my opinion. One of the very few comedies I will travel some distance to see, even a high-school production. (Foremost among them is She Stoops to Conquer, which high schools seldom take on.)
I have googled how to get rid of crows and most are not possible for me. I feed some feral cats and I knew the crows and possums were getting it too. That is probably why they are here. Anyway most likely suggestion is buy a fake crow with wings outspread from a party store and hang it upside down by it’s feet. Apparently this freaks out crows. I don’t think I want them to think I killed one so I will hang it at night, secretly.
@Gvg: That would freak me out, too!
edit: I am not a crow.
We believe you, since you have not been going on at length about how wonderful crows are, how much you love them, and how you want to feed and take care of them. Your non-crow bona fides are secure.
Someone writing as “John Cole,” however (or is it “John Crow”?) is definitely suspect.
@Another Scott: Oh, man. I just went back and reread this. I’d forgotten that The Great Mustard Escape happened on St Paddy’s Day, which somehow makes it even funnier.
I can’t remember, tho – DID John ever say he’d found the mustard? Or did it simply vanish into one of those Black Hole in the Back of the Refrigerator episodes?
@Miss Bianca: The latter, I think.
J lost her bluetooth headset once getting out of her car. Looked everywhere. She found it about a week later – it apparently bounced into some drainage pipe then got moved by a chipmunk or something.
Dunno if JC ever checked for chipmunks in the fridge.
@dnfree: I haven’t seen or read She Stoops to Conquer in ages; I wonder what I’d think of it now.
It’s really clever, and misogynistic as hell. Plays like a dream on the stage, since both leads get to do a lot of code-switching between high and low. So it’s a treat for good actors, and a reliable crowd-pleaser, and… really ugly sexual politics if you pause to think about what you are watching. Basically, all the beats of “Pretty Woman.”
No one in our neighborhood has a fence. We have coyotes, foxes, raccoons, and feral cats. We also have plenty of squirrels. I suspect the abundant trees provide them with ample refuge from all ground-based predators. Full disclosure: I enjoy watching the squirrel acrobatics even though it means I need to buy bird seed a bit more often.
“One pet crow fights to save humanity from an apocalypse”
(“Pet” is a loaded word, and I’m not sure it is humanity that is the concern.)
The wife has tried to make crow friends since we moved into the new apartment. They love dry cat food and peanuts (the unshelled ones), and they will yell at you when you run out.
@NotMax: Haven’t seen either version, but they’re on my list now.
@Roger Moore: Crows make a kind of rattling sound to their family members that I love. We’ve got several families near us, and in spring I hear the adults constantly making that call.
We also sometimes hear a murder screaming at intruders. Once in a while an eagle will try robbing a nest. If we’re lucky, we get to watch the eagle fly balls to the wall with up to forty crows on its ass, promising hell to pay.
Und es werden kommen hundert gen Mittag an Land
Und werden in den Schatten treten
Und fangen einen jeglichen aus jeglicher Tür
Und legen ihn in Ketten und bringen vor mir
Und fragen: Welchen sollen wir töten?
Und an diesem Mittag wird es still sein am Hafen
Wenn man fragt, wer wohl sterben muss.
Und dann werden Sie mich sagen hören: Alle!
Und wenn dann der Kopf fällt, sag ich: Hoppla!
One of my neighbors puts out peanuts for crows every day around 3 p.m. He gets up to a half dozen; they gather in the trees and call at him about 10 minutes beforehand. In the warm months, that’s usually when I’m swimming with my Golden, so I talk to them. I’m not sure what we’re saying, but it’s a call and response thing. They’ll establish a pattern and I’ll repeat it. Then they’ll change it and I’ll repeat the new riff, but then I change it and they’ll do my change. It beats just throwing the ball.
Also, they seem to tease him when he’s off leash. They’ll hop around on the ground till they catch his attention, and then fly off triumphantly, lots of cawing. Definitely worth having some crows around.
most excellent. i always try to be on good terms with the crows in my neighborhood- they know things.