Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

The world has changed, and neither one recognizes it.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Republicans do not trust women.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

In my day, never was longer.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it is a trap.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

A fool as well as an oath-breaker.

If you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom, it is privilege.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Friday Evening Open Thread: CYBER. NINJAS!

Friday Evening Open Thread: CYBER. NINJAS!

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110Comments

  1. 1.

    MisterForkbeard

    The new thing they’re doing is purposefully misunderstanding how computers work to claim there were internet connections to the ballot machines (there weren’t), that the systems weren’t behaving properly (they were), that Something Happened To The Ballots (they didn’t), that the ballots were fake (They Weren’t), and that the machines weren’t up to corporate security standards (that’s actually true and not surprising at all, but also doesn’t matter much for an air-gapped system).

    So they’re trying to get their grift on. The claim is that there’s just too much going on here so some of it HAD to be fraudulent, and you can already see Bannon and others going with this. And also pretending that some of the non-events they found prove tampering (they don’t).

  2. 2.

    Old School

    Well, on to Texas! And Wisconsin! (And probably elsewhere!) One of these has to come through eventually!

  4. 4.

    MisterForkbeard

    Here, this guy is doing a good takedown of the cyber security “presentation”. He’s reputable: twitter.com/erratarob/status/1441117913641979908?s=21

    Example:

    Robᵉʳᵗ Graham #PcapsOrItDidntHappen
    @ErrataRob
    53m

    24/ He’s now claiming the “preservation” laws/regulations mean that the Windows operating-system security logs must be retained. Nobody I know agrees, and they haven’t sufficiently made their claim that the law covers this.

  5. 5.

    West of the Rockies

    I’m repeating myself on this, but while it’s fun to point and laugh at the fraudit, I want to see consequences for the RWNJ’s: arrests, trials, tax releases, indictments… otherwise, the whole shit show just continues its tent revival across America.

  6. 6.

    FelonyGovt

    Pretty remarkable that these bears of very little brain were unable to “find” the fraudulent ballots that “everyone knew” were prevalent. In (formerly very Republican) Arizona!

  9. 9.

    germy

    Too bad the Cyber Ninjas didn’t audit Michigan, Wisconsin, & Pennsylvania in 2016.

    — Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) September 24, 2021

  12. 12.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    Well,  I guess those CyberNinja are part of the Derpstate after all.

     

    Time for the MAGAteria to doxx and SWAT them.

  13. 13.

    debbie

    Andy Borowitz:

    In an extraordinary expression of gratitude to his political foes, President Biden thanked the Arizona G.O.P. for allowing him to relive the most glorious victory of his life.
    Speaking from the White House, Biden said, “The election was almost a year ago, and the memory of that amazing achievement had really started to fade. Thanks to the Arizona Republicans, all those wonderful memories have begun flooding back.”

  14. 14.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Rocks: As it happens, they’re recommending that elections use Special Tracked Paper so that this kind of fraud that didn’t happen and has no evidence of ever having happened doesn’t happen again, or something.

    I mean, sure, I guess. Can’t hurt. Also has fuck-all to do with this election.

  16. 16.

    debbie

    @germy:

    Have they said who will lead the audit in Wisconsin? I’d hate to think it was these ? ?  ? again.

    ETA: Did they ever gain access to the voting machines?

  26. 26.

    dr. bloor

    The three-volume report by the Cyber Ninjas, the Senate’s lead contractor, includes results that show Trump lost by a wider margin than the county’s official election results.

    Tough to top bankrupting a casino, but losing a completely rigged audit by a larger margin than the actual vote is definitely a contender.

  28. 28.

    VeniceRiley

    Since they’re trying to do this in Texas too, I’m thinking it’s more about getting the voter data for a great purge of the rolls.

  30. 30.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Might be a stupid question, but is there a reason why the Arizona GOP Senate/Cyber Ninjas didn’t just make up BS numbers to support Trump winning the state? From what I remember, third party observers’ access to the recount was dodgy and the process wasn’t very transparent

  31. 31.

    dr. bloor

    @VeniceRiley: ​
      Makes sense. Saw an article today noting that while the AZ report didn’t find the fraud they so dearly believed in, they identified a number of “concerns”* that might serve as fig leaves to enact more voter restriction measures.

    *”Concerns” that were predictably identified as being silly bullshit by Republican election officials in AZ.

  32. 32.

    Dan B

    There’s a “demonstration” at the AZ Capitol against vaccinations and about the audit.  They’re calling to stop the mandate.  AZ has no mandate.  Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, and Anti-Vaccers, oh my!  Plenty of armed men with rifles.

  33. 33.

    Roger Moore

    @debbie:

    ETA: Did they ever gain access to the voting machines?

    IIRC they did, and now Maricopa County has to buy new ones because a bunch of idiots poked around at them, so they can no longer trust the hardware.

  35. 35.

    bbleh

    @moops: Not infrequently in my career as a consultant my recommendation upon hearing a potential client’s problem was, “you don’t need me, it ain’t worth it.”  But judging from the speechless reactions, that sort of thing isn’t very common (and my guess is it was good for my rep).

  36. 36.

    sab

    They tried to steal the election, and when we laboriously recounted, all we proved is that they did try to steal it and they did it badly. So when we counted the Democrats picked up the votes the Republicans try to steal.

    ETA Problem is next time, unlike this time, they won’t believe they won. So they will have a different approach.

  37. 37.

    bbleh

    @VeniceRiley: @HumboldtBlue:  and who knows what else.  I wouldn’t put it past these guys to whoopsie omigosh accidentally leak all the personal data (including birth dates and last-4-SSNs) of Dem-registered voters, pour encourager les autres.

  38. 38.

    Roger Moore

    @VeniceRiley:

    Since they’re trying to do this in Texas too, I’m thinking it’s more about getting the voter data for a great purge of the rolls.

    But in most places the voter rolls are public, so there’s no need to go through this kind of effort.  I think there are two big goals:

    1. Grift
    2. Keep alive the perception there was something wrong with the election that justifies investigation and claims that the next election also has problems.
  39. 39.

    Mallard Filmore

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): 

    Might be a stupid question, but is there a reason why the Arizona GOP Senate/Cyber Ninjas didn’t just make up BS numbers to support Trump winning the state?

    I recall there were threats of prosecution from various local and federal agencies if this went too far into loony land.

  40. 40.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): They were already told (by multiple groups, including the DOJ) that they’d have to defend their assertions and count in court.

    This is why most of their assertions today have been “We don’t know why this is, but it could have been fraud or tampering” when the explanations are pretty simple. They’re just pretending they don’t know because it’s not actionable but can stir up doubt.

  41. 41.

    sab

    My Republican (officialy but not really) Dad moved to a nursing home a couple of years ago. The SOS is trying to purge him because he hasn’t voted in years (dementia) but the local Republucan party is desperate to keep him on the rolls. It is sort of hilarious.

  43. 43.

    mrmoshpotato

    Whoah brah so you hired the two crooks from Home Alone to do a complex audit and they subcontracted it out to the Unabomber and the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit and it didn’t come out the way you hoped? No way you could have known

    Hahaha!

    On a related note, how stupid of that traitorous skidmark Mike Flynn to think Dump humpers would go anywhere near a salad.

  44. 44.

    Roger Moore

    @bbleh: ​
     
    I think most of the reactions of people here are by people who never see the hiring a consultant part of the business. I’m sure there are plenty of consultants- mostly ones who have plenty of business- who are happy to tell potential clients they aren’t needed. But once a consultant has been hired, they’re going to produce a nice report with a list of things that need to be done. They may be minor things, but nobody is going to accept a report that says “you’re good here, carry on”.

    That said, I think there are consultants and idea launderers. Consultants have some kind of useful domain expertise that their client lacks, and they come in to share that expertise. This is a reasonable, even honorable job, and it’s especially useful for small companies who may be very good at the specifics of whatever it is they do but lack broader business expertise. Then there are idea launderers. Management brings them in because they want to do something but think it will get better buy-in if it comes from someone else. So they hire a “consultant” who investigates carefully and tells management exactly what they wanted to hear. They’re a big waste of money and almost always a sign of deeper problems in the company.

  46. 46.

    Roger Moore

    @VeniceRiley: ​
     
    Trump won Texas, but the Republicans’ are worried by the trends. In 2008, McCain beat Obama in Texas by almost 12%. In 2012, Romney beat Obama by almost 16%. In 2016, Trump beat Hillary by about 9%. In 2020, it was down to 5.6%. That is a scary trend, and they want to get their best cheating methods lined up to keep it from getting any closer.

  48. 48.

    NotMax

    Aren’t ninjas supposed to be silent and near invisible?

    These bozos can’t even get the basics right.

    //

    I assign zero credence to anything they choose to report. Period.

  50. 50.

    JWR

    Interesting bit from NPR yesterday morning about how these subversive idiots are planning to look at Pennsylvania And Wisconsin ballots next, but this time they’re planning to ID voters to match their ballots. Or something:

    Republican-Led Election Reviews Take Shape In Pennsylvania And Wisconsin
    September 23, 20215:00 AM ET
    Morning Edition

    PS. If I could afford to, I’d dump a bunch of $$$ to get this comment system fixed once and for all. /end rant

  53. 53.

    Another Scott

    @VeniceRiley: A lot of voting data is public information.  E.g. anyone can request a copy of the Texas voter registration list. I think that data usually includes when and how someone cast a ballot (but obviously not who they voted for).

    I agree that they want to do something hinky with any data they get their hands on, but it’s not exactly clear what or why. My main concern is that they’re not under the control of the disinterested government so they have no incentive to keep the data safe and secure and only use it for whatever authorized purposes. (E.g. legally it can’t be used for stalking or intimidation, but …)

    My $0.02.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  60. 60.

    Roger Moore

    @Jay:

    My basic thought is that consultants don’t hire themselves; management makes the decision to hire them.  There are two cases when this happens: when management genuinely needs outside expertise and when management wants an idea to sound like it’s coming from someone else.  You can usually tell the difference because the first kind are described as consultants in a specific field of expertise while the others are generic management consultants.  If your company’s very expensive C-suite are bringing in management consultants, it’s a sign that either they don’t know their jobs and aren’t earning their inflated salaries or they’re hoping people will accept from an outsider what they don’t want to hear from their own company’s management.  It’s a bad deal either way.

  63. 63.

    Roger Moore

    @debbie: 
    I’m willing to cut people a bit of slack for the occasional typo in their tweets, even if it’s something that it’s ridiculous they’d misspell like their own name. Tweets tend to be quick thoughts that aren’t fully vetted, are often written on phones with lousy typing interfaces, and otherwise get sent off without careful proofreading. I’m much more amused by her press release that managed to misspell “impeach”.

  66. 66.

    Shana

    @Another Scott: As someone who has worked with Vote Builder (formerly VAN) for years in Virginia where we don’t register by party, there are lots of ways to use voter data to ID voters. If you’ve voted in a primary the public system tells you which party’s ballot you requested (I think). If you’ve voted in a primary where only one party participated that’s an indication which party you identify with. When we canvas voters door-to-door or on the phone and we’ve asked questions about voting intentions, that gets entered into the system. If you’ve volunteered with a campaign, that gets entered. It’s all designed to ID our voters so we can not waste time chasing voters who have no intention of voting for Democrats.

  68. 68.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    In related news, an audit by Cyber Ninjas concludes Tampa Bay won the Super Bowl last February.

  72. 72.

    JWR

    Speaking of the odious Ms Greenegenes (via NBC)

    “Killing a baby up until birth is a lack of civility. It’s called murder,” Greene shouted as she turned toward a smaller group of Democratic lawmakers descending the steps. “Hey, how about the border down there? Lack of civility, how about lack of laws?”

    Rep. Debbie Dingell, D-Mich., started yelling at Greene, “You should practice the basic thing you’re taught at church — respect your neighbors!”

    “Taught in church? Are you kidding me?” Greene responded. “Try being a Christian and supporting life.”

  74. 74.

    Jay

    @Roger Moore:

    yup. Quite often, in my experience, MGMT either hires “consultants”  because they have no real clue,

    decide there are directions they “want to go”, but want to pass on responsibility,

    Or some new hire VP wants to make a mark.

    But then, what do I know, being one of “those” constant improvement culture guys,……

  76. 76.

    trollhattan

    @NotMax:

    “Mister Sledge, meet Mister Hammer.”

    “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

    “Likewise. Shall we go tune up Mister Apple?”

    “Grand idea, good fellow.”

  79. 79.

    trollhattan

    “Arite ya bastids, clear out, hop into ya saucers and vamoose back to space! Or to Nevada, either/or. Now GIT!”

    California acted Friday to eliminate from state law the use of the word “alien,” an immigration term used to describe unauthorized immigrants of foreign-born individuals living in the U.S.

    Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom signed Assembly Bill 1096, by Assemblywoman Luz Rivas, D-Arleta, removing the word from California code.

    Rivas previously told The Sacramento Bee she was inspired by President Joe Biden’s immigration plan to remove the term from federal law in favor of the word “noncitizen.” The Biden administration says replacing the word recognizes the country as “a nation of immigrants.”
    sacbee.com/news/politics-government/capitol-alert/article254079118.html#storylink=cpy

  82. 82.

    bbleh

    @Roger Moore: Lol true, if executives, who ought to be not just managers but the best of them, are hiring “management” consultants, then one really has to ask why the company needs the executives.

    Of course, there are executives and executives.  Remind me again who’s running the Trump Organization …?

    (And to be fair there are aspects of “management” where outside expertise is useful or sometimes even required, &/or where the “business-as-usual” day-to-day expertise of a company’s executives simply isn’t adequate to the situation.  But your point stands about the difference between real outside expertise and looking at their watches to tell them what time it is.)

  84. 84.

    Kayla Rudbek

    I am so sick of these people and the Federalist Society and all the Rethuglicans. I want to go get a proper haircut, manicure and pedicure, go try on new bras and shoes at some high-end stores, and I’m not doing that because I’m worried about catching COVID thanks to these idiots.

    I have been in a bad mood since driving out to the plastic surgeon’s office yesterday afternoon through after-school traffic and the start of evening rush hour. Even though the appointment went well, I am feeling like I’ve been confined, stuck in bureaucratic mazes, and I want to go out shopping and doing things on my schedule.  And I’m on the job hunt and have been turned down twice so far.  

  85. 85.

    Roger Moore

    @Jay:

    I can kind of sort of understand a new manager bringing in consultants to help them get up to speed in their new area of responsibility faster, though it seems like it shows a lack of faith in their in-house team.

    I guess auditing (in the general sense) is another example of a justified use of consultants.  Sometimes you really need an outsider’s perspective to make sure you aren’t missing something, and by definition that can’t be done in-house.  You can have an internal audit team- our Quality Systems department fulfills that function- but it has to be backed up by outsiders at some level.  We’re used to financial audits, but they can be a useful tool throughout a business.

  86. 86.

    Anotherlurker

    There is a loud, boisterous Pro-COVID protest here in Downtown Walnut Creek.  Lots of flags, air horns and poorly spelled signs.

    I resisted the urge to engage these folks with made-up horror stories of ER nurses advising to stay away from the hospital but to treat yourself at home, should COVID symptoms arise.

    My heart broke because many of the pro-death protesters brought their kids along.

  88. 88.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @debbie:

    They never want to talk about what happens to the babies after they’re born or who’s going to take care of them

  90. 90.

    James E Powell

    All teachers & staff in my school district – Los Angeles – have to be vaccinated by October 15. Today I learned which of my co-workers were not vaccinated by seeing them huddled together in the office talking about the injustice of it all, maybe a protest or lawsuit, etc.

    Me? I was glad we were all wearing masks because my facial expression would have shown the scorn I have for these people. To the teacher in the room next door to mine, who I’ve known for years, I just said, “You’ve lost your fucking mind!”

    I was really shocked that there were so many of them

    Here’s the hard thing: we do not have the personnel to take their places if they cannot come to work on October 15.

  91. 91.

    Dan B

    @Ksmiami: I am reluctant to think of what would happen if a car backfired, but that’s fortunately exceedingly rare these days.

    It definitely had a Texas look to it.

  92. 92.

    FlyingToaster

    @MisterForkbeard:

    As it happens, they’re recommending that elections use Special Tracked Paper

    Don’t all the states that use paper ballots do that?

    Seriously, Massachusetts has all of the ballots — even for municipal elections — produced by the Prince of Darkness Secretariat of the Commonwealth*, and each precinct tracks every ballot, used, unused, and spoilt.  Since the entire state uses paper ballots, and our precincts tend to be smaller, it’s really easy to do, and an entirely low-tech solution.  It’s a rag-heavy, light cardstock weight paper that is a good thickness for the ballot scanner rollers, and won’t stick together if you’re required to hand-count.  After certification, all of the ballots are returned to to Elections Division and either warehoused (in case of disputes) or shredded and recycled into pulp for the next batch of ballots.

    * Our Secretary of the Commonwealth, Bill Galvin, is often called the Prince of Darkness by friend and foe alike.  The Elections Division is under the SotC.

  94. 94.

    Dan B

    @James E Powell: Gold for you!  I believe a lot of these nuts believe what they hear from acquaintances and if they all agree it ‘feels’ right to them. It’s critical they hear from colleagues who disagree.

  95. 95.

    Bluegirlfromwyo

    @debbie: Because birth is what she respects. Life? Not so much. That’s someone else’s problem. As long as Marjie gets to pat herself on the back for letting us be born, she’s there.

  96. 96.

    Roger Moore

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):

    It seems to me that one of the big dichotomies is the attitude toward those unwanted babies and toward adoption.  I think a lot of the people who are so gung-ho about adoption as the alternative to abortion* think about adoption as a way for to provide children to parents who want them rather than a way to provide parents to children who need them.  They  want to make sure that would-be adoptive parents have plenty of babies to choose from, and they don’t really care about what happens to the unlucky children who don’t get chosen.

    *Yes, I know it isn’t really an alternative.

  97. 97.

    Bill Arnold

    @trollhattan:

    Says lady [sic] fond of brandishing military firearms.

    She is a firebrand in a party that has deliberately killed several hundred thousand Americans, and is killing (90 percent of) around 2000 Americans per day at the moment. (I am certain that an broad statistical investigation will show that the kills are mostly Republicans, FWIW). She has zero moral standing. Also, she has zero intellectual standing, but meh. The USA could have a very low death rate like Vermont, but large parts of the USA are controlled by selfish people incapable of empathy.
    (They would argue that is is deniable, but current law is inept at handling the weak causal methods used to commit indirect stochastic mass homicide. They are guilty as fuck.)

  99. 99.

    Dan B

    @MagdaInBlack: It’s about purity.  Once the baby is born it rapidly becomes tainted by the sinful world.  It’s in line with having pure / sacred sex, and not unless the man wants to.  They know that they are impure because their pastors and parents have told them for years so they do everything they can to push people into being pure.  They rage because they feel they are absorbing impurity from those of us who are impure.  Their sinfulness is, of course, of their own making and their own judgemental and guilt centered beliefs.

  102. 102.

    MagdaInBlack

    @Dan B: It seems to me to be about keeping the proper social order: a woman belongs in the domestic sphere. Her job is to keep house and home and provide children. Little bit of reproductive freedom came along with “The Pill” and all that got upset.

    You’ll note they don’t offer birth control and education as an alternative to abortion. Instead, they’re flat out against those things too.

  103. 103.

    Jay

    @Roger Moore:

    It was one of the “weird” things that bugged me about working in Boston, Milwaukee and Silicon Valley, compared to Vancouver.

    In Vancouver, we ( at the time, Fortune 100), would find and fix our own problems. Everybody ran “audits”, everyday. “Consultants” were mostly used for ERP installs, because “The Brass” had no clue, and then cross functional teams would run for 6 to 9 months, fixing everything they had buggered up.

    When I was “airborne”, local MGMT would bring in “consultants” at the drop of a hat. Had a babyfaced MBA try to explain KANBAN to me. Pointed out that Mr.Deming taught me that at a Toyota seminar in 1976. The problem wasn’t KANBAN or JIT or LEAN or 6 Sigma, the problem was mismanagement and as MPS, I had it under control and we were improving, as we pushed down responsibility.

    In Boston, I just pushed the guy down to the floor, where the gang members shot at him. When gangs are “running” your shop floor, and you have no clue, a consultant ain’t going to help.

    Met a few, who were “consultative”, give and take, share knowledge, sadly, most weren’t “into the weeds” on what they were consulting on.

    In my current shit job, my performance bonus went up 50% over last year, ( first year), and I have enough VOC’s to get 50% off a new Ford. Weird given that last hear, MGMT wanted to can my ass for not tolerating the BS.

    Normally my Dept in the stores is a loss leader. This year, 7% profit for us. Big chunk of that is building a “team”. Still working on that.

  104. 104.

    Ella in New Mexico

    As much as I hate the fat little fucker, some days I wish Plump was still on Twitter.

    How much fun would we have ratio-ing him and posting ‘Sore Loser’ comments on his Whiny Ass Titty Baby posts”

  109. 109.

    Danielx

    @Roger Moore:

    Yes indeed. I once worked for a firm started in Indianapolis, operated there for over a decade, then came the new CEO. About six months later, comes a big consulting firm announcing they were retained to examine whether the corporate headquarters should remain in the city or be relocated to Dallas, Atlanta or the DC area. Quite by county-dink, the new CEO already owned a house in Great Falls MD and now that I think on it his wife and kids never relocated to Indianapolis. Anyhoo, three months and a quarter million dollars later, it was announced to the surprise of absolutely no one that the company’s future required relocation to – ta dah! – the DC suburbs. Greater access to talent, you see.

  110. 110.

    sab

    @Danielx: My city lost its biggest employer to North Carolina because the new CEO didn’t like Ohio’s divorce laws. So he moved thousands of people to Charlotte just to dump one woman. And the Board of Directors let him do it.

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