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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Welp, Dad’s in the Hospital Again

Welp, Dad’s in the Hospital Again

by | 76 Comments

This post is in: 

Dad fell and broke his other hip today, being an idiot and trying to carry too much stuff while walking with a walker because there were some weeds THAT ABSOLUTELY HAD TO FUCKING DIE TODAY. So he is back in the hospital and will likely have surgery tomorrow. He told mom he feels like an absolute idiot because he knows what he did was stupid, so we have the problem diagnosed. For those of you keeping tally, this will leave dad with two reconstructed knees, two replacement hips, and we are just shy of the Steve Austin award for experimental surgery. Sadly, there is no procedure for stubborness or OCD.

He is currently “resting comfortably,” as they say, in the hospital, which is total bullshit. No one rests comfortably in the hospital because hospitals suck. They wake you up every hour to make sure you are not going to die on their watch, the food is terrible, you’re there for some reason that is causing you angst and pain, and you don’t have your pets, your spouse, or your stuff there and if you can walk anywhere your ass is hanging out because in the year of our lord 2022 they still have not come up with a fucking sensible hospital gown.

So that’s that.

In other news I gave Steve a compressed catnip ball that came today, and he licked it twice and then tucked it underneath his belly and now is roosting on it like a fucking hen. Weirdo.

Reader Interactions

76Comments

  1. 1.

    Another Scott

    :-(  Sorry, John.  Best of luck to the popster and all of the Coles.  Hang in there.

    Thanks for letting us know.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  2. 2.

    David Fud

    Sorry to hear that, John.  It is seriously rough to watch our parents lose their capability and their health.  You can lecture them, but that just makes things more miserable all around, and they avoid you.  You can let them do what they are going to do anyway, and enjoy your time with them.

    Make sure you enjoy your time with them as best you can.

  3. 3.

    Emma from Miami

    My father will be released from rehab tomorrow after four days in the hospital plus two weeks in rehab for a massive pneumonia that wouldn’t let go. The rehab was spent in one of the most impressive facilities in Miami, where I swear his every whim was catered to. So by the fifth day, of course, he wanted to come home.

    Typical? Not so much. By the sixth day it was clear he was descending into dementia. So far a mild confusion but it’s clear it’s going to get worse and there is no better. We will have to take care of him at home because good memory care places are so expensive that there is no way we could get him into one. So, technically, I will be taking care of my father for the next however many years with some help — thank God he has decent insurance — but it’s like girding myself for a slow death march.

    I hope your dad recovers quickly and well, Cole.

  4. 4.

    Another Scott

    I may have told this before, but a gal I went to HS with was working on her feet at her job and suddenly felt a sharp pain in her hip. But she didn’t fall. She went to her doc and they said she probably just strained something* and gave her some pain pills. It took them 3 days to finally take an X-ray and find out that she was continuing to go to work on a broken hip! Grr…

    IOW, the hip may have broken before the fall rather than the other way around, and may not have had much to do with what he was doing at the time.

    Hang in there.

    Cheers,
    Scott.
    —
    * – yet another example of women’s complaints not being taken seriously by the medical profession. Grr…

  5. 5.

    Wombat Probability Cloud

    …taking a break from chuckling at your colorful description to wish your dad a quick recovery. I trust you and family will see him through this as quickly as possible, with non-stop ribbing.

  7. 7.

    Ksmiami

    Hope your dad feels better and enjoys life as a bionic man. My 91 yr old dad still climbs on fucking ladders even though the family BEGS him not to and Mom has threatened to not care for him if he survives a fall due to being completely stupid – so yes I get you. Good luck w everything.

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    To Dad Cole, in case you are disobeying the nurses and reading your son’s blog on your phone at 11:30 at night instead of going to sleep so they can wake you up at 3:00am to ask how you’re feeling:

    GET WELL SOON!!

  10. 10.

    dmsilev

    I feel you. My uncle got carted off to the ER (and now ICU) yesterday Bacterial infection, leading to heart problems. He is, according to the latest updates, ‘cogent’, which is an improvement over yesterday, but it’s going to be a long road to recovery and it’s not yet clear what exactly ¡recovery’ will mean.

  11. 11.

    Eric S.

    Well wishes for Dad Cole.

    I moved my father into the in-law unit off my building in July. It is challenging, seriously challenging, dealing with declining parents.

  12. 12.

    Betsy

    My whole family spent months in the hospital this summer after our giant wreck and everything you said about being in a hospital is 💯 %

    Also with you on the stress of seeing elderly parents go walking around in the yard because of what MUST be done.

    Sometimes at night.  When it’s baby copperhead season.

    Healing thoughts to your dad.

  13. 13.

    Another Scott

    @Emma from Miami: I’m sorry.  It’s hard.  Several of us here have been in similar situations.

    If the change in his behavior is sudden, get him checked out for a possible UTI.  Also, some medications can cause weird, unexpected reactions.

    Bodies are complicated, and people metabolize things differently as they age (and stuff can build up because kidneys don’t work as well as we get older). It’s a puzzle to try to figure things out and do what’s best (and “best” often means “adequate” given the myriad bad alternatives).

    Hang in there, take care of yourself, and know that you are helping and being a good person even when you feel like it’s never enough.

    Good luck!

    Best wishes,
    Scott.

  16. 16.

    Emma from Miami

    @Another Scott: Thank you. Both his system and his meds were checked out at the hospital because they couldn’t figure out why the pneumonia was so persistent. My father is simply following the pattern of males in his family: if they survive past 80, they slide into dementia. And die between 90 and 92.

  17. 17.

    Emma from Miami

    @SiubhanDuinne: Thank you. At least I have a decent emotional support network. Many of us are going through similar things with our loved ones. It helps a lot.

  18. 18.

    randy khan

    Men!  We’re impossible.

    Hoping your father has a swift recovery and gets out of the hospital soon so he can have real food.

  19. 19.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @dmsilev:

    Oh no. Best wishes for your uncle.

    The wonderful cartoonist Sandra Boynton (she’s the one who came up with “Hippo birdy two ewes” and “Wee fish ewe a mare egrets moose”) once released a birthday card whose greeting I have never forgotten:

    First you shuffle, then you stoop.
    Growing old is pigeon poop.

  20. 20.

    Sister Golden Bear

    Sorry hear that Cole, that sucks.

    OTOH, at this point you’ve earned the right to spray Dad Cole with water in the face when you need to stop future misbehavior. I mean it works for cats. 😁

  21. 21.

    sab

    @randy khan: Yes you men are impossible.

    Husband two months after back surgery (where he almost died from infection) wanted to mow the flat part of the lawn to test out the new electric mower. I said no, but his neurosurgeon and the nurse over-ruled me. The self-propelled mower almost climbed a phone pole.

    Front yard looks nice and spouse has been in a lot of pain ever since. Muscles just aren’t recovered yet.

  23. 23.

    oldster

    @Emma from Miami:

    You and the docs on the scene know best, but I had the same reaction as Another Scott: several other conditions like UTIs and dehydration can cause transient dementia.

    @John Cole:

    I broke my hip two years ago, and was amazed at how easy the surgery was and how well the replacement worked. Sure, the PT was hard sometimes, but I kept reminding myself: in the history of the entire universe, there has never been a more fortunate time to have a broken hip. A hundred years ago, I would never have walked again without a limp. Ten thousand years ago, I would have been dead in a few days or weeks. Now, I was the beneficiary of thousands of years of thoughtful painstaking scientists, doctors, metallurgists, potters, chemists, and physicists all working together to deliver this bionic miracle that allows me to walk again.  And the last two years have only improved the improvements.

    Also, don’t strangle him. The satisfaction would be brief, if intense, and you’d come to regret it.

  25. 25.

    Joy in FL

    Best wishes for everything to go well for Mr. Cole, Sr.

    @oldster Your post at #23 is so helpful. It’s true about a lot of things. How you expressed it really helped me.  Thanks.

  27. 27.

    West of the Rockies

    @Emma from Miami:

    My FIL was diagnosed with alcoholic dementia, which can (at least for a time) improve.  Best wishes, Emma.  It’s wretched watching those we love in decline.

  29. 29.

    West of the Rockies

    I don’t despise hospital food, probably because it reminds me of my late mother’s cooking.  She made a handful of solid dishes, but most things were bland and mushy.  Don’t think I had vegetables that weren’t out of a can until my dad took over cooking.

  33. 33.

    Tenar Arha

    Best wishes to your father for his smooth uneventful recovery. Hopefully he’ll soon be doing bridges and side stepping with a rubber band around his calves, or whatever the hip replacement equivalent happens to be. 

  34. 34.

    frosty

    I’m sorry to hear about your dad; I’m trying not to do stupid stuff any more but that Y chromosome makes it difficult.

    Too funny about Steve!

  36. 36.

    Sandia Blanca

    Adding my good wishes for Dad Cole’s recovery. Stubborn (old) men can be very difficult to care for!

  37. 37.

    oldster

    @Joy in FL:

    Thank *you*! I am very touched to think that something I said may have brought you comfort.

    I’m hoping that the helpful part was the praise of scientific progress, and not the advice to resist the temptation to strangle family members?

    But, hey! Whatever helps, I’m happy to have helped!

  38. 38.

    Aimai

    Best wishes, John, to your dad—and your mom too! She must be frantic. I wish all of us were nearby to ferry soup and casseroles and just generally pitch in even though I know you have an amazing community. Anyway—I read The blog every day but don’t post much but I wanted you to know how dear you and your whole family are to your many, many, readers.—Aimai

  40. 40.

    sab

    @eclare: Be careful with those spray bottles to keep the water fresh. I once gave our obnoxious golden retriever matriarch an eye infection by blasting her with stale water.

    I have never met another obnoxious golden. She had a personality like a bad terrier. She ruled the roost until my giant German Shepherd puppy came into the house, galumphing in search of entertainment.

  41. 41.

    Jackie

    Oh John, I’m so sorry for you and family. Dads can be SO STUBBORN!!! My Dad, age 95, broke his 2nd hip bending down to turn off outside faucet, toppled over onto the cement sidewalk. A passerby saw him and helped him up. Dad decided since he could walk, he was fine. After resting a day, he decided to finish mowing with his electric mower. Then his knee really started hurting enough to call me. I showed up to see him sitting with his hated walker in front of him (hated walker from 1st hip break was deeply buried in hall closet) and I knew he was hurting. Then he confessed that he’d fallen days prior, but just thought he’d hurt his knee and didn’t want me to know. ER trip and X-ray later; broken hip AND HE WAS MOWING HIS YARD!!!

    Surgery went fine; 4 weeks rehab and home again. Stubborn man lived just shy of 100. I miss him so much!

    Your Dad will be fine!

  45. 45.

    sab

    I am at the age where we are replacing parts.

    Spinal fusion really really hurts, but you only do it if not fusing is worse (it mostly is extremely painful) .

    Friends I know who have had knee surgery say the recovery is agonizing but worth it.

    Friends I know who have hip surgery say they recovery is amazingly fast and their doctoris mostly holding them back from doing stupid stuff they think they can do but can’t.

    My husband’s back surgery (lumbar fusion with hardware) they are encouraging activity rather than suggesting restraint.

    I do wish these doctors spent more time talking to the guy because he was a high school jock sports star, and taking a rest if you are overtaxed  is not a concept he even understood until his back surgery almost killed him.

  47. 47.

    lurker

    sending healing vibes to dad cole and hoping steve figures something out … hope the willow was not involved..

    hope everyone recovers from this one soon, including the shock and trauma to those around the situation…

  48. 48.

    CaseyL

    Best wishes for Papa Cole to heal completely and his new hip to work out just fine. (Don’t let him slack on the PT.) Best wishes also to Mama Cole, who is probably beside herself.  And to you, because ditto.

    As for Steve… the ‘nip is a drug, so of course cats get weird(er) when they’ve had some.  Be interesting to know if he thinks he’s protecting the ball from being stolen, or is hoping to infuse his fur with the heady scent.

  49. 49.

    Kristine

    My mom would pray every my 70+ yo dad would get up on the roof with the hose to flush out the gutters. At least it was a single floor house, but still.

    Slowing down means admitting things they don’t want to face. It’s tough on everyone.

    Best wishes for Dad Cole.

  50. 50.

    JAFD

     Sending healing energy and tranquility and patience to the entire Cole family.
    Hope Dad gets better soon !

  51. 51.

    middlelee

    Best wishes for an excellent recovery.  I’m so sorry, John.

    And good thoughts for your mom also.

  52. 52.

    prostratedragon

    Here’s to successful recovery for Mr. Cole. I remember how annoyed I was to realize that I was going to need time to rest after I got out of the hospital for the first time.
    Steve with catnip sound a bit like my Tommy of yore. When he got a catnip mouse he snuggled up to it like Athena from the Green Dimension.

  53. 53.

    Tehanu

    Sorry your dad and mom and you have to go through this. Hope it helps to know how many people (including me) wish you all well.

  54. 54.

    Mai Naem mobile

    Good luck to your dad on hi surgery. Hopefully he’s hurt himself early enough in the fall that he’ll be back home before the inevitable COVID winter wave hits.

  55. 55.

    J R in WV

    You  live like whut, a 5 minute stroll to ColeDad’s house, tops? So that’s good.

    I understand hip replacements are the easiest to recover from, which is a good thing! Sorry for his injury, can’t be easy for him to deal with. At least he has a large, warm and loving family to help him.

    Best of luck. Wear a mask, make him do it too! Everybody wear masks !!!

    And please keep us posted on his progress.

  56. 56.

    satby

    Adding to everyone’s best wishes to Papa Cole and hoping his recovery is uneventful and as swift as possible. As @oldster: said so well, it’s amazing what progress has been made. 

    As far as the stubbornness, well; the tree didn’t grow too far from it’s apple, did it? You had to inherit it from someone.

  57. 57.

    Cameron

    Wishing your father a speedy and (as far as possible) pleasant recovery.  BTW, not all hospitals suck – I’m going to put in a plug for Allegheny General in Pittsburgh, where I had my pulmonary artery RotoRootered back in 2015.  It wasn’t fun, but everybody there did what they could to make my stay as un-miserable as possible.

  59. 59.

    Antonius

    Ugh, sorry to hear that, John. Best wishes for his swift recovery and hang in there, man!

  60. 60.

    Tony Jay

    One thing I’ve noticed as I’ve got older is that the World keeps on moving shit and turning things into trip hazards.

    So Papa Cole has my sympathy. We’re watching you, World, we know your game.

  61. 61.

    Elizabelle

    Yikes.  Wishing your dad successful surgery and a full recovery.

    @ oldster with 23:  thank you for putting it into perspective.  Always have to appreciate the advances in science and medicine.

  62. 62.

    zhena gogolia

    I’m very sorry about your father, but it sounds as if he is in good spirits, which is great. I wouldn’t be! I’ll be praying for a good recovery.

    I actually enjoyed my hospital stay, the first in 50 years, because they gave me this fabulous room — large, with two windows overlooking our town — and you could order “room service.” I thought hospital life had improved greatly since the old days. (Yes, they did wake me up every few hours, but I wasn’t sleeping anyway.)

  63. 63.

    brantl

    I’m sure you’ve already told Papa Cole that our thoughts are with him, but I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t say it, too. Hopefully a swift and thorough recovery.

  64. 64.

    Starfish

    I hope your dad feels better soon, and I cannot help but think about the time that you fell while carrying Lily as I read your description of your dad doing things that he should have known not to do.

  65. 65.

    Anonymous At Work

    Yeah, hospitals suck those ways, but what makes it worse is that half the time, you’d heal better with bed rest and actual sleep.  They don’t want you there but prolong your stay at the same time.

  66. 66.

    The Moar You Know

    Like father, like son. 

    @Leto: After reading this I just kept thinking “none of this could possibly be unexpected with this family”.

    My dad has had the law laid down to him:  no more getting up on ladders.  So he waits until nobody’s home to get up on the ladder.  78 years old, climbing around on scaffolding he built himself out of used 2x4s.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS IS GONNA END BAD ONE DAY

  68. 68.

    Sis

    John, I hope your dad is out of the hospital and feeling better soon. It’s difficult, because wanting to do things and move and cherishing your independence is a great thing for someone who’s older, but the risk of something happening (as per your poor dad) is always there, too. A related problem: I have older relatives who aren’t complainers, which is great because they don’t dwell on ailments and have a more can-do outlook, but it also means that symptoms of something serious that should be dealt with can go unaddressed, and something minor becomes something big (if that makes sense).

  69. 69.

    Zelma

    John, I hope Dad Cole has successful surgery and recovers quickly!

    I’ve been sitting here shaking my head at all the foolish and potentially dangerous things older people do.  Then I realized that I am the same age as many of these older people.  It takes me aback.

  74. 74.

    leeleeFL

    Sorry to hear about your Dad’s hip!  At least he might not do anything like that again, but my Dad fell off a roof in his 70s, so there’s that!

    To solve the hospital gown problem, tell the aides he needs 2 each time.  Front to back,  the other back to front.  I did this and never felt nekkid!

    Good luck to all the Coles!

  75. 75.

    leeleeFL

    @Emma from Miami: I was my Mom’s full-time caregiver for 6 years.  I recommend you arrange for a respite carer often. I wouldn’t change what I did, but it took a toll on me that was difficult to recover from.

    Lots of times, the sundowning improves when they get home.  Best of luck!

  76. 76.

    mellowjohn

    I have two replaced shoulders, three fuse vertebrae, a replaced knee, and a rebuilt ankle, and my son tells people that his inheritance is going to depend on my scrap value.

    I have no idea how he became such a smart ass.

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