Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

People are complicated. Love is not.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Nothing worth doing is easy.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Merry Christmas, Y’all

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    geg6

    Glad you’re feeling better, Cole.  And be kind to poor Thurston.  He only scattered the garbage out of concern for your lack of exercise.  He had no idea you were sick, I’m sure.

  2. 2.

    Evap

    Spent many hours at the airport and missed our flight because of long lines and general chaos.  My bag is there somewhere but who knows if/when I’ll get it back. Bah humbug!!!

  4. 4.

    Ajabu

    @eclare:

    I was told as a child, that they was only one fruitcake in existence. Nobody liked it, and every Christmas the last unhappy recipient sent it to someone else. Apparently, that lonely fruitcake is still making the rounds…

    ETA: I was given this information, roughly 70 years ago. I imagine you need a chainsaw to cut a slice of it now.

  5. 5.

    caring & sensitive

    So inspired by delurking the other day that I thought I’d report. Went to my daughter’s this morning (she lives 5 minutes away) to watch the grandkids 6 and 3 open their stockings and we all opened presents. Had the traditional Christmas morning lox and bagels (being Jewish has many benefits) followed by spinach dip and copious amounts of chocolate including, of course, a Terry’s chocolate orange and Toblerone. Came home and made a turkey dinner for everyone and made a point of not over eating. Merry Christmas everyone.

  8. 8.

    Glidwrith

    Very low key Xmas here, eldest almost fledged dragonet had four wisdom teeth pulled. Alas, nestlings these days must wait longer for true wisdom.

  10. 10.

    Major Major Major Major

    Merry Xmas, Cole and everyone else!

    We also ordered Chinese delivery… was supposed to go to a friend’s but he got sick… so we watched Glass Onion instead. And it’s really fun! I posted a tiny review with some light spoilers over on mastodon. Recommended!

  11. 11.

    Obvious Russian Troll

    Merry Christmas! We apparently have a new tradition (this year and last year) of fleeing from my wife’s family in Appalachia on Christmas Day–after spending way too much time with the them the previous week. 11 hours of driving, but it feels good to be home (and we saw everybody we wanted to see).

  13. 13.

    peej01

    Very quiet Christmas at my sister’s house (I live 10 minutes away) because her daughter and the 3 kids under six decamped to Colombia until the New Year.  On the other hand, we didn’t start the festivities until 11am, which is a benefit when no kids are around.

  16. 16.

    Arclite

    Hope you feel better soon. I was in bed for a week with COVID over the summer. Took a couple weeks after that to feel normal again.

  18. 18.

    Ohio Mom

    We braved the cold and ate our Chinese food in the restaurant.

    Looking forward to Wednesday when it warms up again.

    Glad you are on the mend, Cole.

  19. 19.

    brendancalling

    I’m not even going to get into the overall nightmare this holiday has been so I’ll go TL/DR: the kid’s Friday flight to the US was canceled, Saturday’s maintenance delays left him stranded in Toronto last night, and now he’s back home in Montreal. My dad made ham sandwiches for holiday brunch today. I’m not making that up. It was ham sandwiches.

    But I met someone a few weeks back and she asked me over to her family’s annual get together, so I went and it was a lot of fun. Lots of Puerto Rican food, which I love, and Jewish food which I also love. So it was OK after all, but far from perfect and I’m still mad about my kid not being here.

  21. 21.

    ronno2018

    Hang in there dude.  Keep posting here.  Your views on stuff helps us.   Sorry for your loss.  It sucks.

  23. 23.

    Gvg

    I am sorry picturing you cut off from your family, but glad you are feeling better. My mother was feeling some better so we had a gathering today instead of what we were king of bracing for, a Christmas at the emergency room. We kept telling her to sit down and dad has apparently become a very good dishwasher this week (late 70’s). You can teach an old dog new tricks.

  26. 26.

    Suzanne

    We had a very nice day, oven trouble notwithstanding. I feel so uncomfortably full of food. Definitely going to fast tomorrow. The kids had a great time and got lots of gifts.

    One hilarious thing: Spawn the Youngest got a gummy-bear-flavored lip gloss. She also got a toy train. She also got some little farm animal figurines. She had a great time putting lip gloss on the pigs and the bull and then putting them in the train cars. LOL.

  27. 27.

    grandmaBear

    After a white-knuckle drive from Dayton to Cincinnati on Friday, and temperatures in the low single digits, managed to just barely make our connections and so find ourselves in a cottage at the beach on the north shore of Oahu this week. Highs of 81-82. Walking on the beach, reading, catching up on b-j threads, eating chocolates. May do some touristy things. Or not. Very relaxing. Glad your health is slowly improving, John. And I hope 2023 treats you better. You deserve better.

  28. 28.

    rekoob

    @Ajabu: @eclare: For what it’s worth, I heard the same thing — I believe it was Johnny Carson who said, “There’s only one fruitcake, and whoever gets it pours more rum on it and passes it on to the next person”. My mother’s side of the family were inordinately fond of fruitcake.

  29. 29.

    grandmaBear

    @rekoob: good fruitcake is actually amazing. I usually make Alton Brown’s recipe, which is great. None of that synthetic-tasting candied fruit junk. Dried fruit soaked in rum with lots of ginger. Too busy and stressed this year. But I’ll get back to it next year.

  30. 30.

    pinacacci

    peak cole is a christmas present. xox

     

    edited to say nobody in my surviving family appreciates fruitcake except me. Stupid brothers.

  31. 31.

    Glidwrith

    @grandmaBear: Emeril Lagasse’s recipe here, hot simple syrup to hydrate the fruit, La Grande and Amaretto liquor to finish the job. Discovered that converting to a cupcake format enhances the bake.

  32. 32.

    mrmoshpotato

    Brunch at my sister’s and BiL’s with their two kids and our parents.  Won a game of TROUBLE against my mom and nephew.  Won one of the two 4-player Uno games.  Watched the Dolphins choke.

    Finished Glass Onion a few minutes ago at my parents’.  Watching Bucs-Cardinals in overtime on Sunday Night Football.  I’m exhausted.

  34. 34.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    The In-laws lasted 2 1/2 hours before they went off the rails.  My fil acted disgusted when my wife opened up Michele Obama’s book and mentioned pedophilia.  My bil then started ranting against Biden and Zelinskyy and praising Putin.  My wife and I gave them a rash of shit as they muttered themselves out the door.

  36. 36.

    eclare

    @rikyrah:   No one EVER has traction on ice.  I don’t care if you have 4 wheel drive, special tires, whatever.  Unless your tires are wrapped in crampons, you do not have traction and will not have control.  Which is terrifying.

  42. 42.

    mvr

    Merry Christmas to Cole and all!  I came here earlier in the day expecting a Christmas cursing from John, but all seemed to be calm.  I was puzzled, but I’m glad to see that things are now returning to normal.

    Glad you’re doing somewhat better John. Hoping for continued improvement at a quick pace.

    And hope everyone had a good day!

  44. 44.

    The Moar You Know

    76 degrees in San Diego and all the relatives were well behaved.  The last part is the Christmas miracle.  The 76 degrees is kinda normal; it should start raining in a week or two.  Hopefully.

  45. 45.

    JaySinWA

    @eclare: I had some old SnowTrax that worked really well walking on ice. Current versions don’t do as well, but other vendors have better reputations. OTOH pretty much nobody has that kind of traction in automobile tires. Ice is death to traction for cars. Even studs can become ice skates in the wrong conditions.

  46. 46.

    eclare

    @JaySinWA:   I was in a five or six car pileup here a little over a decade ago on an ice covered overpass.  I was on my way to work and reports were just coming on the radio about ice in Memphis.  I remember sliding into a car, not a damn thing I could do about it.

    Luckily I was not injured, and my car was drivable til later that day when I got a rental.  But I remember that terrifying feeling of no control and wonder what the hell all those people in OH were thinking.

  47. 47.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Good to hear that you’re “rolling Cole”…lol! Happy holidays to you and yours.

    If I had stupid money (IOW, Musk money) I would pay for a line of trucks to dump horse shit in front of Abbot’s house.

    For a week.

  49. 49.

    Ann

    Adding to food mentions, my 92 year old mother and I ate out at noon at the local Chinese restaurant, and topped off the day (at her request) with a hoagie from Wawa. Yes, we are just outside of Philadelphia.

  50. 50.

    Kelly

    Eugene, OR, at the south end of the Willamette Valley, had it’s warmest Christmas Day ever, a high of 63f. A couple days ago temps were in the low 20s and the entire city was covered in a 1/2″ of ice.

  51. 51.

    TJC

    A lurker but I hope you can find some peace. My mom died suddenly in June and hoping for some peace not involving my idiot brother

  56. 56.

    Betsy

    @TJC: I’m so sorry to hear that.  And conflict / someone being a jerk in the situation makes grief processing more difficult.

  58. 58.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    @Betsy: I’m going to sleep like a baby.  Start talking like an asshole after I’ve hosted you for 2+ hours and then you’re going to let your freak flag fly.  No thanks.

  59. 59.

    Kattails

    Cole, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of such a friend, but glad you’re coming around slightly.

    My mom is still recovering from major hip surgery, but made it through.

    My week can’t compare with yours, but not the best. It’s been low teens at night here the last few days. Tried to get to work on Friday only to find a tree down across the driveway, had to go do my lumberjack routine. After work I did some errands & then drove home, up-elevation, into almost white out conditions.  On the second trip back to the car to bring in groceries, my feet went out on slippery stair treads and I went down on my tush, then right thigh, bicep, and ended up face down on the rock retaining wall just below the steps. The sequence is writ in my bruises. The bridge of my glasses gashed the bridge of my nose quite nicely.  Glasses miraculously survived.

    The weekend before, one of the cats suddenly developed a serious UTI so a $300 visit to the emergency vet an hour away in the dark.

    Thankful for Mom surviving; family and friends; carols and making food gifts.

  61. 61.

    Betsy

    @Old Dan and Little Ann: That’s good to hear.

    Yeah, serious jackassery on the part of  guests in YOUR HOUSE.

    I guess the incredible rudeness goes with the territory – All magats are essentially different levels of sociopath, from low-grade asshole on up.

  62. 62.

    Kattails

    @eclare: Thanks! the kitchen steps are only 3 high, but that’s quite enough. Nothing broken is the big blessing.

    Wow, I’m amazed that you recall Mom’s age!! But she will actually be 94 on the 28th.  Still in hospital while they stabilize some issues, like hemoglobin levels; but well enough to complain about the food :-)

  71. 71.

    StringOnAStick

    Spent Christmas dinner with the first close friends we made when we moved here two years ago.  Family made from friends is so much better than the crazed magats that compose most of my thankfully far away blood relations.

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