They are this stupid and ridiculous.
Oh my god, Jack Smith was spotted at Subway!
I bet they have someone camped out at Subway since it was big news that he got a sandwich at Subway at least once before! This is what I recall about the coverage last time.
Did you see the way Jack Smith carried his sandwich? I think he was sending a message! Did you notice ? The way he was swinging his arm that held the sandwich? He carried that sandwich so powerfully. So deliberately and forcefully! I think he was sending a message. Just a regular guy, like you and me. But so strong and determined!
I enjoy Subway sandwiches, target letters and iron-clad indictments.
It’s a simple life.
— Jack E. Smith ⚖️ (@7Veritas4) July 18, 2023
The stupid, it burns. If I were an actor, I would rather play a bunny in a commercial, eating a carrot. That would be less humiliating than a media person on TV introducing the BIG STORY of Jack Smith walking out of a sandwich shop – complete with video! – with the words “Jack Smith can’t resist a foot-long at Subway.”
How can so many people take them seriously?
Open thread.
Updated to say that I composed this complaint about the media before I saw Betty’s takedown of Jake Tapper. It must be rage against the awful media day.
Alison Rose
Did they think he…doesn’t eat? I mean. He is, as far as I can tell, a human. Who requires food. To live.
japa21
It’s a day that ends in y, so of course it is.
Burnspbesq
isn’t every day “rage against the awful media day?”
Baud
What kind of sub did he get?
Old School
Jack Smith is lying. No one enjoys a Subway sandwich. It’s just sometimes a convenient option.
hells littlest angel
I’m afraid he’s gonna have to. They haven’t sold them for years.
Manyakitty
@Old School: if that. Blech. Mr. Hero is always better than Subway.
Baud
@hells littlest angel:
What do they sell now?
Lapassionara
@Baud: Good question. I hope he got one with all the various Italian meats/sausages plus the pepperoncinis or whatever the hot peppers are called. That’s the lunch of champions!
Butch
CNN especially, but more and more for cable in general I feel like I’d be better informed listening to a couple of squirrels chatter at each other.
Baud
I hope they catch Jack shopping at Target.
tobie
Depressing as hell…Mark Sumner, a very perceptive writer at DailyKos, thinks Cannon tipped her hand that she will grant Trump’s request for a delay. Specifically he points to her comment that the prosecution had yet to discuss matters with the defense.
I hate this woman. She’s a Federalist Society tool and that’s the only reason she’s on the bench.
Alison Rose
@Old School: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been ‘missing it’, Bob.”
p.a.
See! He’s a librul eye-litist- dijon on the sammy and he’s not eating at Applebee’s.
Chief Oshkosh
@Baud: Dreams, Jake. They sell dreams.
M31
@hells littlest angel: they sell them right over by the Applebee’s salad bar
lowtechcyclist
@Baud:
ISWYDT!
Omnes Omnibus
@Manyakitty: Blimpy.
Old Man Shadow
If you elect me as your president, all 24-hour news channels will be shut down and replaced with channels showing “Star Trek”, “I Love Lucy”, and “Twilight Zone” round the clock.
Chief Oshkosh
@tobie: Don’t worry, the system is worikng…we live in the bes of all posible whorls.
Chief Oshkosh
@Old Man Shadow:
Ah, but which series of Star Trek?
Old Man Shadow
@Chief Oshkosh: The original series, the Next Generation, and Deep Space 9.
John S.
@Old School:
Truth.
Shalimar
@Manyakitty: Pretty much every sandwich chain is better than Subway. They’re cheap, and everywhere. Those are the only reasons anyone eats there.
jonas
This is up there with “OMGZZZ! Biden briefly touched King Charles’s shoulder!!! Do all Alzheimer’s patients do that with the king? Or just ones hoping to start World War III?1!?”
The Lodger
@Omnes Omnibus: Jersey Mike’s or go home.
Cameron
Jack Smith chows down on Subway substance? Fuck me on toast – who cares? I don’t give a shit if he feasts on corpses fresh from the morgue.
WaterGirl
@Baud: I am confident that someone is analyzing that right now.
dmsilev
@Baud: They sell 0.3-meter-longs.
UN metric mandate.
PaulWartenberg
I wrote this in 2012: The media elites are obsessed with their Narrative of a Reagen-esque nostalgia to the point of idiocy.
https://noticeatrend.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-rump-parliament-of-media.html
Brachiator
Okay. Was it a 6 inch sandwich or a foot long?
Chris
The best film I’ve seen to date that’s totally accidentally about the high-level media punditariat (and by extension, much of Official Washington) is literally called Ridicule, about the Court of Versailles. Whose thesis statement is that the entire thing ran on a nasty version of middle school rules, dominated by gossip and attention-getting, with no small amount of bumping up your own social value by tripping up the guy next to you and then pointing and laughing.
(Which was in fact the whole point of the Court of Versailles: taking what used to be all the nation’s most powerful dynasties of warlords and turning them all into useless gossiping socialites working their way towards the king. There was method to that madness. Versailles-on-the-Potomac has no such excuse).
Chris
@Old Man Shadow:
Exactly the right answer. You have my vote.
Cameron
@Brachiator: “Is that a Subway’s you’re packin’ or are you just happy to see me?”
WaterGirl
@Cameron:
I LOVE tHAT.
I have never heard that before, Is that a thing people say, or is hat a personalized Cameron thing?
Spanky
I saw Jack Smith drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s.
And his hair was perfect.
catclub
@John S.:
I go there on purpose. So much for nobody goes there its too busy.
Cameron
@WaterGirl: TBH, I’m not sure. I don’t recall hearing it from anybody else, but since I don’t remember the majority of my adult life I could well have picked it up somewhere.
WaterGirl
There is a place in Michigan called Mancino’s – the sandwiches are toasted and they have the best thin-sliced ham in the world.
WaterGirl
@Cameron: Well, I am stealing it.
lowtechcyclist
@Spanky:
Ah-whoo! Werewolves of Justice. ;-)
Cameron
@WaterGirl: And you’re more than welcome to it. After all, if Balloon Juice doesn’t qualify as the public domain, what does?
Burnspbesq
@tobie:
IMO, that’s way off base. The reason that hasn’t happened is that the defendants’ lawyers inexcusably delayed submitting their SF-86s, thereby delaying getting their clearances. They’re fucking with her, and Rule One in federal litigation is “you fuck with a United States District Judge at your peril.”
mrmoshpotato
@Cameron:
Interesting kink there. No judgment.
Burnspbesq
@Spanky:
was he eating takeout from Li Ho Fook’s?
tobie
@Burnspbesq: I trust your expertise. And I hope that Cannon behaves like a judge.
hells littlest angel
@Baud: Due to reduced testosterone levels in American men, Subway now sells the Fantastic Four-Incher. (Marvel Comics declined a tie-in deal.)
Burnspbesq
@hells littlest angel:
Are you writing ad copy for Josh Hawley?
hells littlest angel
@Burnspbesq: What the fuck, is he hiring?
hedgehog mobile
@Spanky: You win the Internets!
Manyakitty
@Omnes Omnibus: not sure if I ever tried them. Penn Station is good.
Manyakitty
@Shalimar: fair.
Ken
Ridiculous. Alert me when there’s real news, about Biden’s sandwich order.
(Come to think of it, is this “Jack Smith eats Subway” story more or less ridiculous than the “Joe and Jill order the same dish at an Italian restaurant” story?)
Ryan
Dear God, are there no Jimmy Johns, no Jersey Mike’s? And by the way, you carry Subway horizontal, not vertical, otherwise, all your toppings end up on one side of the sammich.
MFA
If it was a HAM SANDWICH, it was to practice indicting Trump.
bbleh
They do call this the “silly season” for a reason.
I remember when people made fun of weather reporters as somehow less than serious. Now in comparison the weather reporters are smart, competent and informative.
laura
Can someone check in with valued commenter Villago Delenda Est- this is back to back media criticism (well earned) and it’s concerning that the subject matter expert is gone missing.
Me, personally, I could not care about Jack Smith buying a subway sammich unless he then shoved half of it down the front of his pants and started acting like a common Mark Halperin.
Ken
Yes, but those of us of a certain age can remember when it meant five weeks in July and August, not three decades and counting.
John S.
@catclub:
When I lived in Florida, I never went to Subway. There were too many other better options between independent sub shops or even Publix.
But here in the outer limits of western Washington, it’s really my only option.
Miss Bianca
@Cameron:
*Fresh* from the morgue, not frozen?
Amir Khalid
@hells littlest angel:
If I can get a foot-long at a Subway in Malaysia, and I know I can, I’m sure you can get a foot-long at a Subway in America.
Omnes Omnibus
@The Lodger: I just like the name Blimpy’s.
Omnes Omnibus
@Burnspbesq: It closed.
persistentillusion
@lowtechcyclist: Actual LOL. Had “Werewolves of London” on vinyl back in the day.
Betty Cracker
Vegetarian options at fast food places are scarce, and most Subways have a veggie patty that’s actually not too bad if you get it on the asiago cheese bread with more cheese, lots of toppings, fancy mayo, oil & vinegar, salt & pepper, etc. My point is, maybe Jack Smith is a vegetarian?
Tony G
@Old School: I pity Mr. Smith for eating lunch at Subway. It’s just awful (as is “Jersey Mike’s”). I’m old enough to remember good subway sandwiches at local Italian delis, but those places are almost extinct now. I’d like to see Mr. Smith indict the CEO of Subways for the felony of impersonating a decent sandwich!
@Old School:
NotMax
@Tony G
Out of curiosity, ambled into Jersey Mike’s here – once.
Nearly threw my back out bending over to pick up my jaw from the floor upon seeing the prices.
Cameron
@Miss Bianca: Certified organic, too.
NotMax
@Cameron
Standard retort when people throw that “it’s organic” guff at me in real life: “So is coal.”
;)
Brachiator
@Chris:
Oh yes, an excellent film. One had to be able to tell the sauciest joke, or the most witty and biting pun or turn of phrase to get access to those higher in the aristocratic social ladder.
Meanwhile, ordinary people could die in the streets and be ignored.
rikyrah
@tobie:
And, at that moment, Smith needs to bring charges in New Jersey, AND put in a request for her removal from the case.
rikyrah
@Old School:
I love their breakfast options. If they sold a breakfast potato, it would be damn near perfection for me.
Mai Naem mobileI
@Betty Cracker: I don’t do Subway but they’re one of the few “healthy” veg friendly places that open relatively early in the AM. Most sandwich places don’t open till around 10.
Brachiator
@rikyrah:
Yep. When I commuted, I would often stop by a Subway for breakfast. Very tasty and reasonably priced.
A breakfast potato would have been a delight.
coin operated
If you’re ever in the Vegas area, I recommend Capprioti’s. Their claim to fame is The Bobbie, which is essentially an entire Thanksgiving dinner on a sandwitch roll.
Jeffro
Worthy of its own thread, maybe: the U.S. economy’s “vibe cession” is over and Americans are starting to feel it.
Nevertheless…Republicans everywhere are going to be scrambling for bad news, ANY bad news for the next couple of years. No wonder Uncle Joe is busy talking about the benefits of “Bidennomics”!
Ken
@NotMax: Also ricin, strychnine, oleandrin, coniine, …. I think it was Michael Pollan who said “think of plants as small chemical warfare factories.”
Ruckus
The media is big business. It is not the big business of informing the public. It is the big business of building big media empires and big bank accounts. End of story.
First there was 1/2 hr of news. Then 1 hr. Then 2 hrs. Then 24 hrs of news reporting – the same 1/2 hour of news that was all there was when it started. How are newspapers doing, now that there is 24 hr TV news on how many channels? How many local newspapers still exist? It is no longer about the news it is about keeping an audience so that the owners can make a lot of MONEY.
Ruckus
@Jeffro:
Gas is not $3.50/gal here in the county that has a larger population than 40 states, or where there is rapid transit, trains that cross the county and buses in every direction but that the car is king. It’s not impossible to live without a car but it can be difficult.
Cheapest gas here in the eastern San Gabriel Valley is $4.59 up to $5.19, within walking distance of me.
Citizen Alan
@John S.: I have found that Subway sandwiches can be made decent if you make them toast the bread twice, once before anything is added and again after to melt the cheese and heat the other ingredients. The result tastes like reasonably acceptable toasted bread instead of (as Jim Gaffigan put it) “bread that tastes like it was cooked in a dirty dishwasher.”
NotMax
@Ruckus
Not to be a stickler but when it comes to TV daily network newscasts, first there was 15 minutes.
Cronkite took point in fighting to expand that to 30. Which happened in September of 1963.
Kathleen
@japa21: It’s impossible to rant too much about the Beltway Political Propaganda Complex. Especially since they’re so vested in restoring fascist rule. I take that personally.
Kathleen
@Burnspbesq: If it’s not it should be!
Citizen Alan
@Chris: I have been referring to the MSM as “the modern court of Versailles” for years. Ever since their coverage of the 2008 Crash and Obama’s subsequent attempts at a recovery revealed them to be a bunch of bored courtiers who viewed the Stock Market as a popular and amusing parlor game in which wealthy dilletantes won and lost fortunes on every throw of the dice and a good time was had by all.
Ruckus
@NotMax:
To be fair, I wasn’t watching a lot of news in 1963. Some for sure but not a lot. I was more worried about being the shortest kid in school. 1963 was the year I started growing again after mostly not doing so at all for 7+ years.
brantl
@Old School: I do. Chicken Teriyaki? YouDamnBetcha.
Miss Bianca
@Cameron: Only if you get em fast – don’t let the embalmer at ’em!
brantl
@WaterGirl: Another like that is, I will be dipped in shit.
Omnes Omnibus
@Miss Bianca: Some people like pickled meat.
Omnes Omnibus
@Ruckus: Hey, I also started growing in late ‘63.
Ruckus
@NotMax:
Went into a Jersey Mike’s once myself. The prices weren’t that much different here in SoCal from Subway, nor was the product. But it was slightly more. I think the rent/property values were the key to pricing here, this was in Old Town Pasadena.
Ruckus
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yes but were you 13-14 yrs old and in high school?
And picked on as the smallest kid in said school?
Formerly disgruntled in Oregon
@laura: Villago seems to be just fine over at Wonkette. Their commenting there has survived W’s recent move to Substack.
Uncle Cosmo
@Omnes Omnibus: Then I’m glad I got to London while it was still open & I could walk in & note a decidedly lycanthropic chap chowing down on, not chicken chow mein, but a bento box of indeterminate protein. Aaaaoooooow!
Paul in KY
@Burnspbesq: We will see if there are exceptions to that generally sage rule.
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus: Ha ha ha EWWWW…
A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)
@NotMax: Never heard of Jersey Mike’s and was astonished to learn there are several in N CA. I have no fear for the 2 Subways in Ukiah, however. It was BIG NEWS when an In ‘n’ Out Burger opened in town several years ago.
Uncle Cosmo
@NotMax: You’d probably say the same about the Subway’s in downtown Reykjavik that I wandered into a couple of days after 9/11 while waiting for US airspace to reopen so I could fly home. (Prices roughly double those in the continental US.) And probably for the same damn reason – nearly all the sandwich components had to be imported. (Unless you wanted Spam with pineapple slices, one supposes.)
Omnes Omnibus
@Ruckus: No, I was a fetus. Born in the summer of ‘64.
Uncle Cosmo
@brantl: Bringing to mind nothing more (& nothing less) than this.
Ruckus
@Omnes Omnibus:
That’s what I thought you meant.
So you are 15 yrs younger than me. As I sit here now, retired, after working (at least part time way back then, but a job with a paycheck) 60 yrs I say, welcome to geezerhood next year. I say 60 is geezerhood because it’s still some yrs till you can start collecting SS and become an old fart. But you are thinking of it.
PaulWartenberg
Okay if this has turned into a sub sandwich thread, is Firehouse Subs a good deal?
japa21
@PaulWartenberg: Yes
Omnes Omnibus
@PaulWartenberg: They seem to steam all their sandwiches.
Omnes Omnibus
@Ruckus: Meh, in my head, I am still 36.
Ksmiami
@Uncle Cosmo: and his hair was perfect….
Ken
@Omnes Omnibus: “Inside every 70-year-old is a 16-year-old wondering what the hell just happened” — Terry Pratchett, if I recall correctly
different-church-lady
The news never stops. Even when there’s no news.
different-church-lady
@Jeffro:
It’s almost as those these two things are… I dunno… linked or something.
barbequebob
@Tony G: Yes, In NYC where I grew up, we got “Hero” sandwiches at the local deli, lots of meat and cheese on fresh Italian bread, solid chewy outer crust and soft inside. Some even had Semolina Bread which, once you have had it, nothing else comes close too, well maybe a real Onion Roll comes close. And you don’t turn it into a sogwhich by dumping gallons of oil and vinegar on it.
Tony G
@barbequebob: Yup. In New Jersey they called them subs, and in Philadelphia (where I lived for a while in the seventies) they were hoagies. The big difference seems to be the bread. The bread they use in Subway and in similar chains is like a flavorless sponge. It’s cheaper, I guess.
bbleh
@laura: lol, the Common Halperin, unimpressive in appearance with an ordinary call, feeds mostly on trash.
different-church-lady
@barbequebob:
Hey now, oil and vinegar on an Italian can be heavenly, but you have to have the bread-form to stand up to it. There’s a local deli in my town that knows how to do it, even if I can’t tell you what it is.
bbleh
@barbequebob: @Tony G: pretty sure I read somewhere that the Irish government was considering whether to allow Subway to call its rolls “bread” because the amount of sugar in them technically makes them “cake.”
(In fairness, I had a breakfast sandwich on flatbread one day when there was no other option, and it wasn’t too terrible.)
Ruckus
@Omnes Omnibus:
I don’t know the exact year/age I am in my mind, but it sure as hell isn’t 74.
OTOH, DAMN, I made it this far and am in relatively good health!
Aways look at the bright side of life, the shitty side just isn’t worth the effort.
Ruckus
@Ken:
You are correct. Step right up and collect your prize.
You don’t want an Attaboy!
MisterForkbeard
@Old School: I’m actually a weirdly big fan of a spicy italian with tomato, onion, pepperoncini, lettuce, and light mustard/mayo with alt and pepper. Untoasted.
It’s a fantastic sandwich. And also, subway took the Spicy Italian off the menu so I hate them now.
zhena gogolia
@MFA: Good one!
eclare
@MisterForkbeard:
They also got rid of a spicy brown mustard condiment, which I used to get on the ham and cheese sandwich. I have been back once since then, only option other than yellow was honey mustard sauce. Nope!
JaySinWA
@MisterForkbeard: Spicy Italian shows up on the Subway classic menu currently.
CaseyL
I grew up eating New Jersey hoagies, which will forever be my benchmark of excellence for the genre.
Jersey Mike’s comes closest to the hoagies of cherished memory. If they used a hard-crust chewy bread (which, alas, they do not) it would be closer still.
@barbequebob: I didn’t even know there was such as thing as semolina bread, unless it’s aka Italian Bread
Damn. Now I very much want a hoagie…and there’s a Jersey Mikes not far from my house.
Miss Bianca
@bbleh: I always get the Subway breakfast sandwich on flatbread, fwiw.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Cameron: “Fuck me on toast – who cares?”
I do! French or Texas toast? What kind of jam?