Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

A fool as well as an oath-breaker.

This really is a full service blog.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

No one could have predicted…

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

In after Baud. Damn.

Our messy unity will be our strength.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

Everybody saw this coming.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Santos, baby! (a little something for the occasion, by Subaru Dianne)

Santos, baby! (a little something for the occasion, by Subaru Dianne)

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Here’s a great little parody from Subaru Dianne – to mark the occasion of Santos being expelled from the House.

I think it’s wonderful.  I guess maybe SD couldn’t figure out what to rhyme with “punchable face”?

Santos, baby.
They kicked you out of Congress today.
Hooray.
Celebratin’ the news,
Santos, baby,
Good riddance to a pitiful fraud.

Santos, honey,
You victimised and cheated and broke
The folk,
Took their money and ran,
Santos, cutie,
So hurry up and leave us, you fraud.

Think of all
The lies you told.
Think of all the veterans freezing in the cold.
I’ll rejoice, you fucking hack,
If you just leave and don’t come back.

Santos, baby,
You probably should visit, I think,
The clink.
Lock you up, toss the key,
Santos, baby,
Get out, you sanctimonious fraud.

Totally open thread.

Reader Interactions

63Comments

  2. 2.

    piratedan

    a couple of threads up there was a question that was tossed out about a phrase that has entered the Balloon Juice lexicon and I wanted to post a follow up for clarity:

     

    as the introducer of the phrase into the Balloon Juice lexicon (introducer means I didn’t craft it but I did find it):

    The Dildo of Consequences, rarely arrives lubed….

    all additional adjectives, adverbs and additional nomenclature are allowed as long as the usual Oxford Comma protocols are followed….

  3. 3.

    mrmoshpotato

    Excellent.  Now the Rethuglicans can throw the rest of themselves out of Congress into the Sun.

  4. 4.

    Suzanne

    Nine of the ten hours of my workday today were filled with meetings and I am fucken spent.

    At four this morning, the new puppy, Coco, had the runs. So she backed her fuzzy ass up to the corner of her crate and blasted her shit out. She managed to poo-spray the carpet outside the crate, but also get poop all over the bars of the crate, and all the blankets in the crate.

    I took her for a long walk after work, but I still feel so cooped up. Might need to do some yoga.

  8. 8.

    Ladyraxterinok

    AgaIn Lawyers,Guns,and Money has an excellent post on Sandra Day O’Connor

    And why she was NOT  a moderate but was, in the  context of the time, extremely conservative

    And of course her extremely destructive participation in the 5 to 4 vote on 12/12/2000 handing Bush the presidency

  10. 10.

    prostratedragon

    @Ladyraxterinok:  On my way over here through the tabs, I noticed  they also had a post up on Santos baby that reminded me of Prince’s most infernally catchy song.

  11. 11.

    Almost Retired

    This is brilliant.  And I can totally picture Eartha Kitt draped over a grand piano and purring out SD’s lyrics.

  13. 13.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I guess maybe SD couldn’t figure out what to rhyme with “punchable face”?

    Or “Botox.”

    (Thanks for all the kind words. Sometimes these things just write themselves.)

  20. 20.

    barbequebob

    Great adaptation of a great song

    Slightly OT. but having missed the earlier speculations on Mr Santos future career path, I heard that he might return to his position as Assistant to Traveling Secretary For the New York Yankees or CEO of Vanderlay Industries. Smart money is on the latter because he apparently has a thing for latex

  29. 29.

    sab

    @Suzanne: Oh dear. If she is part german shepherd, you had better get used to it. They have sensitive tummies.

    Wee pads outside the crate might save some aggravation and carpet.

  32. 32.

    C Stars

    I love it!! An improvement on the original lyrics, in my opinion, although there’s no improving on Eartha Kitt’s delivery.

     

    @Suzanne:  OK that’s just gross. Our house rabbit has unfortunately been having some litterbox regression lately but rabbit poops are just little dry pellets of hay so it’s nothing a dustbuster can’t handle. Once my stepfather’s puppy had diarrhea in his crate and I very much did not envy him the job of cleaning it. I remember a lot of cursing and gagging. Hope your weekend gets better.

  51. 51.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @prostratedragon:

    AFAIAC, Eartha Kitt is the only person in history who should be allowed to perform “Santa Baby.”

    Madonna? Feh.

    Taylor Swift? Feh.

    Michael Bublé? Double, triple, quadruple Feh

  59. 59.

    Tony Jay

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Surely “punchable face” rhymes quite nicely with “(blank) disgrace”?

    “Botox” is harder. Something to do with socks?

    Lovely work, though.

  60. 60.

    K-Mo

    This is tremendous.  Can I get a “badoom badoom” after “don’t come back” though?

    (Or is it implied?)

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