Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” is supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

He really is that stupid.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Even though I know this is a bad idea, I’m off to do it anyway!

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "Stories from the Road" / Friday Night Open Thread

Friday Night Open Thread

by | 84 Comments

This post is in: ,

Did I check to see if anyone else had just posted? No. Did I check to see if anyone had anything scheduled? Also, No. Did I post this without a care in the world and say “Fuck it they can deal” when I hit publish. Yes. Yes I fucking did.

I bought a carrot cake to give to my mother in law for Christmas Dinner and I am currently in a death struggle with my willpower to not eat the fucking thing RIGHT NOW. It is all I can think about and I know right now even though I am upstairs that downstairs on the counter is a massive carrot cake.

Earlier today while picking up my computer, going to the orchard, and going to petco, doing the final things before starting to load the car tomorrow, a had a little song in my head to the tune of Carol of the Bells:

“I am insane
I am a moron
who does this shit
done lost my mind
I can’t afford this
Two cats and a dog
too late to cancel
can I get covid
that would be cheaper
what a shitshow”

Or some variation of that.

Joelle, bless her heart, remains unimpacted by the reality of our situation and is still very excited. Speaking of Joelle- she was very excited to get a large part in this and future seasons of Balloon Juice. However, like many actors, you give them an inch and they take a mile, and she has chosen to quibble with me about her lines featured in the last episode. She would like to clarify that when I stated she “threatened to shower me with positivity” that I was inaccurate. She was not threatening to do anything, she was just going to shower me with positivity because that is just her default state.

So now that that clarification of the plot lines is clear, I would like to remind Joelle and the readers that in Season 2 of Deadwood, Creator and Writer David Milch killed off the character of eight year old William Bullock because the actor was such a pain in the ass on set that it was worth rewriting the rest of the second season and fundamentally alter the character arc of Seth Bullock.

At any rate, tomorrow will be a busy day getting the crates in the car so I am going to go to the living room watch some of the Tudors, and not eat this fucking carrot cake.

Have you all started a bail fund yet?

Reader Interactions

84Comments

  1. 1.

    piratedan

    why don’t you compromise and simply shower together, be more efficient use of the hot water anyway….

  2. 2.

    Miss Bianca

    OMG, is *that* why Bullock Jr bit the dust?? Where did you hear that?

    Tried watching The Tudors, couldn’t get into it. Am having the same sort of “meh” reaction to The Gilded Age, although I may still force my way through the first season. Was hoping it would be more like Deadwood than Downton Abbey, altho’ that may have been too tall an ask from the creator of, well, Downton Abbey…

    Is the bail fund going to be our last BJ fundraiser for the season? :) (ducking and running)

  4. 4.

    zhena gogolia

    @Miss Bianca: OMG, Gilded Age makes Downton Abbey look like Deadwood! It’s hilariously stiff and stagey, but we love it.

    It’s filled with Broadway stars, but even they can’t make the dialogue sound natural or interesting. It’s far below the quality of Downton Abbey in that regard.

    We’re enjoying The Crown — I’ll say it: Imelda Staunton blows Foy and Colman out of the water. But way too much Will and Kate. So boring. The episode with QEII sparring with Tony Blair was brilliant. Then we get bogged down in flirtations in Art History class at St. Andrews. Snore.

  6. 6.

    smintheus

    Carrot cake  and carrot muffins are fairly easy and quick to make. Maybe the best thing about them, apart from the unshakeable delusion that you’re eating healthy as you scarf them down, is that the batter more or less doubles in size when you fold in your shredded carrot so you feel you really accomplished something just by pushing a few carrots into a food processor.

  9. 9.

    lollipopguild

    So far your mini-series is much more fun than Game of Thrones.  Can’t wait for the next episode.

  10. 10.

    rikyrah

     

    It’s Cary Grant night on TCM

    The Bishop’s Wife
    An Affair to Remember
    Room for One More
    Penny Serenaded
    In Name Only

    Love Cary Grant😍😍😍🤗

  11. 11.

    NotMax

    she “threatened to shower me with positivity”

    Anyone else momentarily flash back to the Lou Grant/Mary Richards “You’ve got spunk” scene when that appeared yesterday?
    :)

  15. 15.

    lowtechcyclist

    Did I check to see if anyone else had just posted? No. Did I check to see if anyone had anything scheduled? Also, No. Did I post this without a care in the world and say “Fuck it they can deal” when I hit publish. Yes. Yes I fucking did.

    When you’re the Blogfather, they let you do that.

  18. 18.

    Scout211

    Since the thread is open, this is really good news

    MADISON – The Wisconsin Supreme Court on Friday ordered the Republican-controlled state Legislature to draw new legislative boundaries ahead of the 2024 election, arguing their GOP advantage is unconstitutional — delivering a long-sought win for Democrats who have stayed deep in the Legislature’s minority for more than a decade.

    The court in a 4-3 decision said the court is also prepared to replace the state’s heavily gerrymandered maps if the Legislature and Democratic governor cannot agree on a new plan.

    Elections have consequences.

  19. 19.

    bbleh

    Have you all started a bail fund yet?

    Uh, well, dunno quite how to explain this but, uh, creations sometimes outgrow their creators, and, uh, sometimes when that happens it kinda, sorta, happens to matter maybe … less? what happens afterwards …?  Just sayin’…

  20. 20.

    PsiFighter37

    @Scout211: They need to redo the congressional maps next. However, my hunch is that Democrats are going to take their best shot at winning back the majority in the state legislature first before going the judicial route to overturn the federal maps.

  25. 25.

    brendancalling

    Dude’s gonna wind up divorced before he’s married. I’d say have a bong hit, but you’re sober. Maybe try some dark chocolate? Relax, my dude. You’ll be fine.

  28. 28.

    Ruckus

    @Alison Rose:

    She clarifies everything.

    She’s a miracle worker? I mean that would be different… And how will John know how to act, speak and write?

    And I’ve gotten used to John being John, all that’s going to change and we’ll have to get used to an entirely different concept of a blog?

  30. 30.

    Alison Rose

    @Ruckus: I simply meant like happened here, where she (cheekily, all in fun) corrected the “threat” characterization.

    I said nothing about wanting the blog or John to change. John is an icon and should never change.

  32. 32.

    Alison Rose

    LOLLL Huntington Beach apparently trying to bring Orange County back to its pre-Trump fuckface roots:

    The southern California city of Huntington Beach, a bastion of conservative voters, has made the move to block diverse monthlong celebrations of Black history, women’s history and Pride, in favor of observing the revolutionary and civil wars, California’s history and America’s independence.

    An agenda item introduced on 19 December forbids any programming that pertains to previously established honorary celebrations for women, people of color and LGBTQ+ groups from taking place on city-owned property, including libraries, or of being featured in city communications such as social media posts, according to Natalie Moser, a city council member who voted against the action.

    This means that monthly programming meant to acknowledge and teach the history of historically marginalized groups such as Black Americans and LGBTQ+ people will be replaced by “content” about local railroad and surfing history and a monthlong tribute to the discovery of oil in Huntington Beach called Black Gold Jubilee, according to the agenda item’s language. It’s still possible that the city can establish a day of observation for marginalized groups, Moser adds.

    Also, I’d bet everything I own that their version of “California’s history” would be laughably glossy. “And here is a float showing the deep and beautiful friendship between the Native tribes and the Spanish missionaries!”

  33. 33.

    Adam L Silverman

    What Cole has not told you is that as soon as I hit publish on the nightly Ukraine update I text him: “update is up”. He knows exactly what he’s done!

  34. 34.

    Soprano2

    So I just did one of the best things I’ve ever done – I gave the animal rescue the money my mother left them in her trust. It was almost $900,000. They’re working on a new, much larger facility, and that money will allow them to finish it a lot faster. It’ll help so many animals and people. Keep this in mind – my mother was a conservative Republican, and she loved animals as much as we do.

  35. 35.

    Ohio Mom

    @Alison Rose: The thing about Cole is that he *does* change. On this blog, in front of all of us, he went from being a Republican to being a Democrat and from being a drunk to being sober. And who knows what other adjustments he’s made along the way, out of our view?

    But in another way, you are correct, the very John Coleness of John Cole is immutable.

  36. 36.

    FelonyGovt

    @Alison Rose: My (gay) daughter really, really wanted a Toyota RAV4 Hybrid in a particular color and was searching all the local Toyota dealers. Those cars were hard to come by earlier this year, and she wound up having to get hers from Toyota of Huntington Beach. Really pissed her off.

  39. 39.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Alison Rose: ​ 

    a monthlong tribute to the discovery of oil in Huntington Beach called Black Gold Jubilee

    Can’t have anyone paying attention to the history of Orange County stealing land from minorities.

    California seized land from a Black family 98 years ago. Officials just voted to return it. Bruce’s Beach was a thriving resort community for Black families when the state took the land under the guise of eminent domain in 1924. It will now return to the Bruce family.

  40. 40.

    schrodingers_cat

    I am rewatching X-files.  I missed a lot of episodes in its original run. It holds up pretty well by and large. An X-files fans here?

    If you still are looking for gifts for artists in your life. Check out dickblick.com they have some good sales and free shipping for $49 instead of the usual $59.

  46. 46.

    frosty

    @Alison Rose: Bummer. In my nine years in SoCal Huntington Beach was my favorite place that I lived. Upland second. Both full-blown MAGA now.

    Does this mean I need to quit wearing my Jack’s Surfboards T-shirts?

  47. 47.

    FelonyGovt

    @Alison Rose: Oh, she sure did, there’s no mistaking her. :) And the dealership treated her very courteously. Her dad and I went with her just to make sure.

  48. 48.

    CaseyL

    Defy the call of the carrot cake, John!  You can do this!

    I just can’t enough of this pairing.  The Yin and the Yang.  Cindy Lou Who and The Grinch.  Showers of Positivity and Mutterings of Grump.

  57. 57.

    zhena gogolia

    I’m watching Maestro. Nice to hear Bernstein’s great music. I’m not too taken with the film so far.

  58. 58.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Cole, did you feel threatened?  If so, it was a threat.  No one should have to put up with threats.

  59. 59.

    WaterGirl

    @CaseyL:

    Defy the call of the carrot cake, John!  You can do this!

    Normally I like the way you think, but I’m not sure I agree on this one.

    Why not eat the carrot cake, and pick up another one tomorrow?

    Bonus:  the cake he brings will be one day fresher!

  60. 60.

    Soprano2

    @schrodingers_cat: I watched it when it was on. Scully’s disbelief got old in the face of what she saw. I think the series would have been more interesting if sometimes the cases had a scientific explanation. Mulder always being right got old too.

  61. 61.

    Soprano2

    @eclare: Yeah, I found a Santa hat to wear. I think they still don’t quite believe it. They’ll be naming something for my mom for sure. I’ve been wanting to do it for a year, but this stuff takes time.

  66. 66.

    schrodingers_cat

    @zhena gogolia: I just finished watching it. Clyde Brukeman’s final repose is a great episode. They explored so many themes. The writing on the show was top notch. It was so funny too. Sense of humor seems to be sadly missing in many of the recent streaming classics.

    I remembered the episode of Mulder in the gulag. That was some creepy stuff.

  70. 70.

    Gary K

    For his birthday my 9-year-old grandson ordered a carrot cake. Just as we sat down to eat it, I was struck by stomach cramps and spent much of the next couple hours in the bathroom, sorry if that’s TMI. I have no fondness for carrot cake, and my wife was convinced it was all an elaborate charade to get myself out of eating a slice.

  74. 74.

    Glidwrith

    John, you should study the symmetry of the cake, and then just cut it down to a smaller symmetry. Bon apetite!

  75. 75.

    NotMax

    @schrodingers_cat

    Not to get into a whole thing about it in an inappropriate thread but jaw dropped over more than 140 members of the Indian parliament being suspended, allowing passage of a spate of draconian laws.

  79. 79.

    satby

    JC@top: Did I check to see if anyone else had just posted? No. Did I check to see if anyone had anything scheduled? Also, No. Did I post this without a care in the world and say “Fuck it they can deal” when I hit publish. Yes. Yes I fucking did.

    BRAVO! Now to actually read the thread.

  80. 80.

    Pennsylvanian

    Bail fund? I’m in.

    This could be the most interesting holiday season in years.

    John Cole, may the wind be at your back, many blessings on your camels, and may FSM love and watch over you.

  82. 82.

    AlaskaReader

    In defense of the eight year old child actor,

    …it is said the kid wasn’t the source of the pain that led to his character being killed off, but that a parent or the parents were the source of the pain.

  83. 83.

    rekoob

    @Soprano2: Congratulations! That’s an impressive sum. When our mother died, we were pleased that she gave most of her money to worthwhile causes (we, her children, were amply recognized), and the single-most amount went to the SPCA of Richmond, Virginia.

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