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the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread: Last of the Xmas Content

Late Night Open Thread: Last of the Xmas Content

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Place your reservation now! ‘Perfect’ is subjective, of course; sometimes the imperfections of a particular tree in a particular year are part of the charm… Washington Post gift link, for the curious:

… Justin Whitehill, who leads the Christmas Tree Genetics Program, said the researchers’ goal is twofold: to breed Christmas trees so beautiful and hassle-free that they persuade faux-tree fanatics to convert to the real deal, and to help the growers who sustain a $2 billion industry.

“What we’re doing is using genetics to improve the Christmas trees’ traits to make the lives of consumers and growers better,” Whitehill said. “The focus is on three main traits: growth, needle retention and form. But we’re also working around sustainability and making trees more climate-resilient.”…

The Christmas tree undertaking began in the late 1990s, when those involved with the N.C. State program began identifying the best Fraser firs in North Carolina. With its superior needle retention, conical form and sturdy branches, the Appalachian species is already considered the cream of the crop when it comes to Christmas trees — in fact, the tree jollying up the White House this year is an 18½-foot Fraser fir from Fleetwood, N.C.

So how do you make the classic Christmas tree more perfect?

“We screened 30,000 wild trees originating from the highest peaks of the mountains in western North Carolina, then whittled it down to our best 25,” Whitehill said. That sample of 25 lost the fewest needles, showcased the densest foliage and had the fastest growth rate — trees that could be expected to lose just 1 percent of their needles after reaching a desirable height of six feet in about six to seven years.

To create the trees, the scientists used a technique called grafting, fusing together 1,000 roots from other trees with cuttings from the sample of 25 to ensure the elite Fraser fir genes are expressed at the top of the tree…

And speaking of the perfect tree… YMMV, but John Lewis at #3 below (approximately the 9:30min mark) has to be one of the weirder choices for a feel-good holiday advertisment…

Reader Interactions

33Comments

  2. 2.

    Citizen Alan

    the researchers’ goal is twofold: to breed Christmas trees so beautiful and hassle-free that they persuade faux-tree fanatics to convert to the real deal, and to help the growers who sustain a $2 billion industry.

    Wasn’t that how Day of the Triffids started?

  4. 4.

    Jay

    So I told SWMBO, that when I die, I want to be cremated.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    It’s my last chance for a smoking hot body.

  5. 5.

    Geoduck

    @Citizen Alan: The Triffids were probably bred in the Soviet Union, so I doubt they were trying for Christmas Trees. (“Probably” because even in-universe it’s not 100% certain where they came from…)

  6. 6.

    eclare

    Is the john Lewis ad the first to use Venus flytraps?  That was bizarre.  I’d like to know who created that ad and what they were smoking or dosing.

  7. 7.

    Jay

    @Geoduck:

    Fictional history
    Origins
    In the novel, the origin of the triffid species is never explained. The main character, Bill Masen speculates as follows:

    My own belief . . . is that they were the outcome of a series of ingenious biological meddlings—and very likely accidental, at that. Had they been evolved anywhere but in the region they were, we should doubtless have had a well-documented ancestry for them.[2]

    The 1962 film adaptation portrays them as extraterrestrial lifeforms transported to Earth by comets, contradicting the novel.

    In the 1981 TV series, the triffids were the creation of real-life Soviet biologist Trofim Lysenko. The seeds were spread across the globe when a plane smuggling them out of Russia was shot down during the Cold War.

    In the 2009 two-part TV series, the triffids are a naturally occurring species from Zaire, discovered by the West and selectively bred as an alternative to fossil fuels, to avert global warming.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triffid

    Yes, there is a Wiki for that.

  8. 8.

    Brachiator

    @Citizen Alan:

    the researchers’ goal is twofold: to breed Christmas trees so beautiful and hassle-free that they persuade faux-tree fanatics to convert to the real deal, and to help the growers who sustain a $2 billion industry.

    Franken-Fir..

    The Fir-minator…

    Firzilla..

  14. 14.

    lowtechcyclist

    Good mornin’, y’all, and happy second day of Christmas!

    Yes, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree. That second day of Christmas. You’re welcome. ;-)

  15. 15.

    Shalimar

    @Brachiator: I read that and think, “maybe having a $2 billion industry of things we display for a few weeks a year and then throw away is a sign we’re really terrible stewards for our environment?”

  17. 17.

    There go two miscreants

    On the plus side, the several weeks when they’re grinding up the discarded trees is the only time the landfill smells nice!

  18. 18.

    Mousebumples

    My parents live in the country on like a dozen acres or so. My dad has been planting evergreens for years, so we just find one there to put up and decorate. Figuring out how to arrange and where to put ornaments (to best hide the imperfections) is one of the best parts!

  24. 24.

    Gvg

    @Shalimar: paper. Grow fast growing trees, clear cut, pulp, make paper, write on mostly very temporary stuff, throw away, sometimes recycle. Here in the southeast the pine tree plantations are common and you can harvest every 5 to 7 years with not much work in between. Big companies have vast tracts but I know little people in mobile homes on a few acres who do it too. A few years ago, someone was pirating pine trees at night, clear cutting and acting like they owned the property. Since most of the acreage has no visible activity for years while the trees grow, people don’t really know the owners, and don’t realize that not all big trucks and crews automatically mean legitimate businesses. The big companies bred the pine tree strains to grow faster with straight wood and fewer branches because that made the best pulp and 2x4s. Slower growing natural genetic pines have harder wood but are crooked and twisty. They resist rot better too. You can’t even get those for landscaping these days. They do make quick shade better.

  26. 26.

    RevRick

    The research on better Christmas trees led me to Google “land use map us”, and sure enough, growing Christmas trees shows up as taking a separate, but tiny part of the map.
    Some of the interesting things, for me, was you could pack all of urban America into the New England and Middle Atlantic states, how much landmass was devoted to golf, how little to food we eat, and how gigantic was the area for pasturage.

  29. 29.

    Juice Box

    One Christmas evening, as I was returning from a visit to my parents, I was blocked from getting to my house by firetrucks. The Christmas tree in the house across the street had caught fire. I switched over to a fake tree the next year.

  30. 30.

    Miss Bianca

    @lowtechcyclist: Happy Second Day of Christmas! (aka Boxing Day).

    The few times I got to spend Christmas in England, Boxing Day was a big favorite for driving into Oxfordshire to watch the mummers and morris dancers perform. (Yeah, I’m a folklore geek. So sue me!)

  31. 31.

    stinger

    The notion of a “perfect” Christmas tree makes me feel Grinchy. Bah, humbug! Have they never seen A Charlie Brown Christmas?

  32. 32.

    stinger

    @RevRick: ​
     People see “pasturage” and think, Cows Are Evil. But all that land NOT put into asphalt and concrete is used by cattle but also by birds, insects, various wildlife, and a wide range of plants.

  33. 33.

    StringOnAStick

    @stinger: Cows raised on pasture grass only and rapidly moved on (like every 3-5 days) do a huge job of sequestering carbon and rebuilding soils so they hold more water and are more productive.  That method puts MORE carbon back in the soil and less methane production because they can digest grass efficiently.

    The knock against cows is really about what they are fed; corn production for animal feed is a huge negative for climate change, and cows can’t digest corn, it makes them sick and that is part of why those last 6 weeks in a CAFO are so bad.  They pump them full of antibiotics shown to cause weight gain and to fend off the illnesses from being g closely confined and sickened by their diet, plus salt so they drink more, all so their slaughter weight is greater.  The corn they can’t digest makes their stomach pH nearly neutral, so bacterial overgrowth is huge and that ends up in the meat because factory slaughterhouses are hideous.  It’s a disgusting system of animal torture that’s ruining the planet.  We are lucky to live in an area where there’s lots of choices for grass fed only beef, so we take advantage of that and buy local directly from the ranchers.

    Growing cows on normal diversity planted pasture makes for so much better wildlife habitat too.

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