Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Democrats have delivered the Square Deal, the New Deal, the Fair Deal, and now… the Big Joe Biden Deal.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

Donald Trump, welcome to your everything, everywhere, all at once.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Fight them, without becoming them!

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

Never forget that he train is barreling down on Trump, even as he dances on the tracks.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

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107Comments

  1. 1.

    TaMara

    OMG, that steak. Some poor steer gave its life for that atrocity.

    Don’t worry folks, we have a very nice and delicious recipe post coming on Saturday to heal you from this nightmare.

  4. 4.

    eclare

    Hot dog salad?  Ye gods….

    And I thought my grandmother’s yellow squash casserole with a crushed potato chip topping was the epitome of white people food.  But it was delicious.

  5. 5.

    Anonymous At Work

    What’s the converse of porn?  That steak makes me feel sad, small, sick, depressed, and about two hundred other synonyms.

  6. 6.

    mrmoshpotato

    That is a very cheesy what?

    Hot Dog NO!  Burn it with fire!

    Ummm…..boiled meat?  Way undercooked prime rib?

  8. 8.

    TeezySkeezy

    So I occasionally pan sear myself a ribeye and I’ve been a bit embarrassed to admit it…no longer. I now think I cook a good pan seared steak. It’s seared not gray like that abomination.

  9. 9.

    catclub

    @eclare: Hot dog salad?  Ye gods….

     

    bread cubes??  Actually we make a potato salad with pickles, POTATOES and Kielbasa… and oil, not mayo.

  14. 14.

    chrisanthemama

    Puts me in mind of ChefReactions (“That annoying, monotone chef from TikTok (2.4MIL) *side of salt / extra sarcasm / b.s. allergy*”).  Honestly, his comments on videos of white people food (entire blocks of Velveeta in a vat of uncooked macaroni, doused with mass quantities of mushroom soup, etc.) document the atrocities.  Chef Reactions – YouTube

  18. 18.

    Leto

    White people aren’t sending their best…  think this also just goes back to the general criticism of social media: not everybody needs to know your shit.

  20. 20.

    p.a.

    must Must MUST dry the protein before applying heat!  Embarrassed to admit how long it took that basic fact to sink in with me.

  21. 21.

    Omnes Omnibus

    I have a Central Wisconsin Lutheran Church cookbook, and 98% of the recipes are better than this stuff. Whoever did this is really plumbing the depths.

  22. 22.

    TeezySkeezy

    @Leto: tbf, i dont think of boiled steak as a white stereotype. I  think the common white stereotype is being too into cooking red meat the right way, ie, backyard grill dads.

  23. 23.

    trollhattan

    It’s as though you people didn’t have a childhood filled with Lutheran church basement potlucks.

    I feel suddenly so at home…

    ETA Even so, hot dog salad is really pushing it. What are the worms?

  25. 25.

    twbrandt

    @trollhattan: My grandmother belonged to a German Evangelical and Reformed church in Detroit, where they had services in German up until the 1970s, when the supply of German-speaking ministers dried up. The potlucks there were wonderful – those ladies knew how to cook.

    The Presbyterian church I grew up in – not so much.

  27. 27.

    Dangerman

    That steak kinda looks like it was done Sous Vide, which works great, but ya gotta finish the job with a blow torch (insert Tim Allen grunts here).

  30. 30.

    Jeffro

    I think the worst thing I ever cooked (and this was a LOOOONG time ago) was “vegetable cornbread”.  For whatever reason, I thought putting some vegetables in cornbread and baking it would be a good idea.  It wasn’t.  But that’s as bad as I’ve ever gotten in the kitchen, so yay me.

    (I do put jalapenos and cheddar in my half of the cornbread pan now, and it’s awesome)

     

    @Ken: I Googled “mayo ranch dressing canned soup” and got this: Creamy Ranch Chicken Casserole

    …just as we would have guessed!

  31. 31.

    FastEdD

    I’m visiting Minnesota in May. I’m getting ready by building an immunity to hot dishes and Lutefisk.

  32. 32.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @FastEdD: It is, of course, possible to visit the Upper Midwest without consuming either of those things.   You may have to put in some effort, but it can be done.

  35. 35.

    Leto

    @TeezySkeezy: I’m just making a generalization based on how a lot of the world kind of sees our cooking? Not enough seasoning, not enough spice, just… not enough of everything. Also just mocking CheetoBenito. Honestly this is one of the things I love about America, because we’re such a melting pot. Our food has the potential to be greater than its origins. Doesn’t mean we don’t love our originals, but we can elevate them in new ways due to new ideas, ingredients, and perspectives. And yes, this is also a difference between libs and shitbags. Back to shitty foods!

  39. 39.

    p.a.

    Everyone has their sticking-points.  I like the youtube videos from Italy with residents freaking out about “Hawaiian” pizza, which I wouldn’t order but will gladly eat if offered.  Then I’ve seen multiple times Italians scarfing down hotdog and french fry pizza, which 🤢

  40. 40.

    raven

    @Omnes Omnibus: My cousin sent me a bunch of photos to scan and this one is a gem.

     

    Stavanger Cathedral

    The church building originally had a wooden, rectangular nave with a narrower, rectangular, straight-ended and probably lower chancel. To the west it had a tall tower. The city of Stavanger was ravaged by fire in 1272, and the cathedral suffered heavy damage. It was rebuilt under Bishop Arne (1276–1303) at which time the Romanesque cathedral was enlarged in the Gothic style.[7] The west tower was replaced after the fire with a vestibule with a somewhat larger base. The choir was newly built and extended, but the original width was maintained. Its east façade was erected with two corner towers and a large window. The Romanesque choir had crypts beneath it.[4]

  42. 42.

    Haroldo

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    And one of the deepest of those depths is the old “Milwaukee Brewers Wives Cookbook” featuring such delights as Hotdogs in Aspic, if memory serves.

  43. 43.

    Suzanne

    I call this White Protestant church picnic food. My grandmother had some primo examples in her repertoire. As did SuzMom, and I still give her shit about it. She has a cookbook with a whole section on “molded salads”, aka Jello with random shit floating in it.

    I actually followed this FB group for a while, but some of the food pictures literally made me throw up in my mouth.

  44. 44.

    Leto

    @p.a.: I’ll be honest that the first time we saw hot dog pizza in our local pizzeria in Italy, it was a… wtf? Kind of moment. But then we found out that their hotdogs are essentially totally different from ours. Had a slice, thought it was good, but much like the Hawaiian pizza, wouldn’t order it myself. Also learned that hotdog/fry pizza is a German creation, and gotdaym do they love them some hotdog/fry pizza.

  50. 50.

    Suzanne

    @raven: One of my friends collects gross old cookbooks. The recipe that horrified me the most was “Creamy Mackerel Pudding”.

  51. 51.

    raven

    @TBone: We had some guys remove our kudzu nodes and one of the told me repeatedly that he’d never been sick a day in his life because he ate possum.

  56. 56.

    Sister Golden Bear

    @Leto:

    I’m just making a generalization based on how a lot of the world kind of sees our cooking? Not enough seasoning, not enough spice, just… not enough of everything.

    My parents didn’t use a lot of spices, but in their defense it wasn’t just because they were of Scandinavian origins. We lived in California, with access to good quality food — especially produce, so they were doing California cuisine before it was a well-known thing.

    That said, while my stomach can’t tolerate highly hot-spiced foods — plus my palette isn’t interested in food where all you taste is spice (and no trace of the food itself) — I enjoy dishes with spices where it makes sense.

  58. 58.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @raven: The cook at my old fraternity once served us raccoon.  She also made wonderful meals from scratch that always came in under our food budget, so If she got raccoon from one of her local connections, raccoon it was that night.  Not many people had seconds.

  61. 61.

    raven

    @Suzanne:  Bull Cook and Authentic Historical Recipes and Practices

    including the Norwegian Method of Getting Rid of Rats and “Good solid advice is apparent throughout the book,”Never underestimate the strength and courage of a woman that is really mad at you” is his advice when referring to Joan of Arc.”

    on page 343, I learned that “IN CASE OF A HYDROGEN BOMB ATTACK YOU MUST KNOW THE WAYS OF THE WILDERNESS TO SURVIVE”

  63. 63.

    TBone

    My nearest neighbor at my Penn’s Creek cabin made a helluva black bear chili.  I was not impressed after I found out what I was eating. At the local dive, they have pickled beef heart and tongue in a big jar on the bar.  It looks like it’s 50 years old.  Some bikers came in and voluntarily ate some, while showing me the tattoos on the insides of their lips.  I will not report that text unless you want to know.

  64. 64.

    eclare

    @Suzanne:

    There is a chain of bakeries here that specializes in Bundt cakes.  I assume they have other goods, but I don’t know, never been in one.

  65. 65.

    Suzanne

    @Sister Golden Bear: So, my grandmother was apparently incredibly offended that she was only asked one time in her life for a recipe. She used to make this cheese dip with cottage cheese, Philly cream cheese, and heavy cream, and it would be served with those wavy potato chips. She would do it for Thanksgiving snacks, Super Bowl, etc. Admittedly delicious. But she used no seasoning in it at all. So I have made it a few times in my adult life, adding garlic, lemon zest, chives, etc.

    It definitely feels like a throwback to me to buy those wavy potato chips!

  66. 66.

    Suzanne

    @eclare: Nothing Bundt Cakes? It’s a national chain. They’re pretty good.

    Mormons know all about the green Jello. And the Funeral Potatoes.

  67. 67.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @eclare: There is a place here in Madison called Nothing Bundt Cakes.  They sell bundt cakes of varied sizes and flavors.  Nothing else.

    @Suzanne: Okay then.  Ours in in the same strip mall as my go-to real French bakery/cafe.  I don’t buy many bundt cakes.

  70. 70.

    Leto

    @Sister Golden Bear: Italian cuisine is similar, especially southern Italian. Lot of influences from around the Mediterranean, which has lead to some really spectacular dishes. Sum > parts. Yeah, I can’t really do spicy anymore as well. Little bit of heat is fine, but like you, I want the taste of the dish to be predominant.

  73. 73.

    CaseyL

    My first thought, looking at those photos – and esp. the last one, which actually turned my stomach – is “People eat that crap?!”

    My second thought was: These are handy photos to look at whenever I get a strong urge to eat something I shouldn’t, because they kill my appetite entirely.

  74. 74.

    TBone

    My favorite loud pronouncement when drinking a shot in public:

    “Hope I don’t throw up!”

    It kept all the brown toothed losers from hitting on me too much.

  75. 75.

    Suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: I got a Nothing Bundt Cake for Spawn the Younger’s birthday a couple of months ago, since they had Andes mint flavor.

    We have a French bakery a couple of miles away with the most incredible raspberry tart, which is more my thing. I also got a hazelnut buche de Noel from there at Xmas and it was next-level.

  77. 77.

    TBone

    @Suzanne: I am now very jealous, being stuck in a sort of food desert of Amish (Mennonite) baked goods, which are not at all my style.  Except for the pie. Those are AOK. But this girl misses everything else good to eat from Philly. 💔

  79. 79.

    Kayla Rudbek

    @Suzanne: I had to explain lutefisk to Mr. Rudbek when we started dating, and how the good thing about being Catholic and non-Scandinavian was that we weren’t ever going to eat it. Mr. Rudbek’s family is from New Orleans, so the idea of soaking fish in lye was completely foreign to him.

  80. 80.

    Suzanne

    @Kayla Rudbek:

    how the good thing about being Catholic 

    I have been known to say that one of the best things in my life is that I wasn’t raised Catholic. LMAO.

  81. 81.

    Juju

    @p.a.: Years ago my then sister in law insisted that we should order a Hawaiian pizza as one of the pizzas we were ordering for a big family dinner. I made a face at her and she said “it’s not as bad as you’d think it would be.”  Always a ringing endorsement. She got her way and one of the pizzas was a Hawaiian pizza. I had a piece and it was indeed not as bad as I thought it would be, but I have not had another piece since.  If it was the only kind of pizza available and I was hungry I would probably have a piece, but I do not seek it out.

  82. 82.

    TeezySkeezy

    @Leto: oh i hear you. I pull out the garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, black pepper, salt as the basic minimum for “defying expectations.”

  83. 83.

    Juju

    @Omnes Omnibus: I had a friend, male, who showed me some pictures of a campfire cookout dinner where beaver was one of the choices, and he had some and thought it was pretty good. I was thrilled to hear that because I got a chance to say, in all innocence, “ “You eat beaver?  You really didn’t seem like the type.”  He actually did a spit take all over my shirt.

  86. 86.

    danielx

    Okay, Cole, mission accomplished. I need to lose spme weight and after seeing those pictures it will takes days if not weeks to regain my appetite.

    Although the top picture does resemble sausage cheese egg breakfast casserole, which is to die for. Mmmmm…

  87. 87.

    Jay

    @Juju:

    When we order pizza for pick up here, it’s always the Supreme Hawaiian from Pizza Factory, less than a block away.

    If we are feeling like a bit of a trip, it’s Gino’s Hawaiian with added mushrooms. Lot’s of garlic in the sauce.

    If we are feeling flush, we go to Doppio Zero for a thin crust, wood fired Margareta with added proschutto.

  88. 88.

    RSA

    Along similar lines, I’m a fan of Vintage Recipe Cards. (ETA: That’s the Web site; it’s also a Facebook page.)

    The proprietor collects recipe cards (from the 1950s through the 1970s, I think). She scans them, transcribes them, and posts them for our viewing pleasure.

  94. 94.

    gvg

    @Suzanne: I know a jello recipe that is amazing. High calorie so I don’t make it often. Black cherries with balls of cream cheese rolled in chopped pecans. Drop them in black cherry Jello made with cherry juice instead of water. Not sure where my mother found the recipe. it’s the black cherries that make it. there is only enough Jello to hold it together. The cream cheese and pecans make a nice contrast.

  95. 95.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Paul in KY:

    Animals are easier to catch at night when they have that greenish glow going… 

    And are as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner?

  97. 97.

    mrmoshpotato

    @gvg: That sounds pretty good.

    black cherry Jello made with cherry juice instead of water

    ⬆️ This is a great idea.

  100. 100.

    Manyakitty

    @gvg: my grandma made a cherry Jell-O mold with walnuts stuffed in the cherries and sweet red wine (probably Manischevitz or Mogen David) for some of the water.

    I have her recipes and I think some of her jello molds. Maybe I’ll give it a try.

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