the best part about being in a ton of 2023 pregnancy/baby groups is getting to see all the absolutely wretched names parents are coming up with these days. here are some highlights i’ve collected pic.twitter.com/UNMUHeAmKB
— henny gesserit (@heyyitsdidi) March 20, 2024
Madden Raige, Kyzier, Triniteigh and Brexleigh.
I’ve spent the past fifty-plus years telling people Yes, that’s my real name, like the song but no ‘i’ in Anne. Kids these days are gonna spend their entire lives spelling out their names, because their parents wanted them to be special…
Baud
I blame Elon Musk.
ETA: Baud is an excellent baby name.
sukabi
are they going for “special” or are they just hooked on phonics?
debit
Merricka. Middle name Fuck Yeah.
CaseyL
Leazel? Leazel??
How much you wanna bet that poor kid will become “Leazel the Weasel” before the end of their first day in kindergarten.
dmsilev
Wolfgang Atreides? Let me guess, the parents believe that this child is the result of a long selective breeding process designed to produce The One who is fated to write a bunch of really compelling symphonies and operas?
Anne Laurie
@CaseyL: Maybe her parents really, really love their pet ferret?
schrodingers_cat
@Baud: Yes it short and sweet. In India there is a fashion these days of giving children meaningless Sanskrit names
Indian Leviticus Manusmriti prescribes short names for women preferably a syllable or two. So they can be summoned easily.
debit
@CaseyL: I’m willing to bet inspired by Lae’zel from Baldur’s Gate 3.
dmsilev
I once had a student with the first name of “Bland”. He was “IV” though, so ultimate blame for that decision lies a few generations back.
Baud
@schrodingers_cat:
बॉड
Quadrillipede
Yeah, I gave my son the name Charles, precisely because it’s a completely boring name. (And also it’s my dad’s middle name, and my wife had already vetoed both of my given names and my dad’s first name…)
jackmac
When it came time to name our babies, my wife and I felt the first gift we could give them were simple, strong names.
Our kids — now adults — are Matt and Kate.
jimmiraybob
What!? You mean Poopensugarfarts isn’t on the list?
Please feel free to use.
Quadrillipede
@CaseyL: I once lived in a shared house with a South African woman named Liesl (I think that was the correct spelling, it was about 20 years ago…)
[ETA: I don’t know enough Afrikaans to know if it rhymes with anything unfortunate. ]
jackmac
@jimmiraybob:
“Poopensugarfarts”? Isn’t that a breakfast cereal?
Highway Rob
@debit: Or a superfan* of the current AG had a girl and not a boy, perhaps.
*-There has to be one out there, right?
Timill
Whatever: none of them are as bad as “Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Barbon
Quadrillipede
I know a guy called Merrick, but he usually goes by Mez…
Leto
Tugg Knuttson is the one I’m waiting for…Scandanavian ofc…
his twin ofc… Knutt Tuggin…
Quadrillipede
Johann Gambolputty… of Ulm.
SteveinPHX
My spouse and I agreed very early that our kids would have names that they would not have to fight over in the schoolyard.
Worked out that way.
stinger
Thank you for this post.
@Quadrillipede:
Isn’t that the name of one of the daughters in The Sound of Music? Which is a German name, and may also be a Dutch name, which could lead to it being a South African name.
AndyG
The UK has parish baptism records going back centuries, and apparently the least popular boy’s name (one occurrence only) is “Poison “…..
buddhacat
Liesl is from the Sound of Music, Leazel probably Rolf’s version of it.
CaseyL
My Mom was saddled with a boy’s name – this was back in 1934 – which led to many funny stories and inconveniences for her. She decided that I would have a non-ambiguous girl’s name: Cynthia, with Cindy for a nickname.
When I decided I wanted to be Casey instead – an androgynous name, and deliberately chosen for that very reason – Mom just about lost it.
NotMax
No MAGA girl babies named Goebbelina? Or Boeberta?
//
Regnad Kcin
I’m on the hook for this as one of eighty-leventy-zillion Michaels in the tail end of the Boom, and giving my 4 kids culturally relevant names (gaelic but with anglicized spellings, cuz cultural hegemony stomped the real spellings out), but holy hell…
comrade scotts agenda of rage
Variations of this have been an issue for 30 years. The spelling is just the latest but JFC this is awful.
Back in the late 90s, one of the popular names was Taylor. Back in central Misery, every girl was named Mikayla (with an endless variety of spellings) or every boy or girl was named Taylor. I had a friend who was a 1st grade teacher and she swears that out of a class of around 15-18, there were something like four boy Taylors and four girl Taylors and always at least 2-3 Mikaylas (or htf it was spelled) in successive first grade classes.
PaulB
There was a Vietnamese gentleman in Lawrence, Kansas whose name (I swear I’m not making this up) was Suck Dong Oh.
PaulWartenberg
What the hell’s wrong with naming your firstborn son Joshua Spurlock, Joshua in honor of Joshua Abraham Norton (Emperor of the United States) and for Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain of the 20th Maine, and Spurlock in honor of Michael Spurlock who ran the first kickoff TD in regular season Buccaneers history???
NotMax
Dipping into the political sphere, there’s good old Preserved Fish and Wankard Pooser.
;)
PaulWartenberg
@AndyG:
at least Poison’s got a hair metal band named after him…
hueyplong
@PaulWartenberg: The reference to the Bucs immensely aids the search for what’s wrong with it.
PaulWartenberg
@dmsilev:
no lie, my older brother wanted to name his firstborn son Wolfgang. the (eventual ex) wife convinced him to stick to Ryan.
schrodingers_cat
@Baud: Short and sweet! The name of one of my second cousins roughly translates to the Body of the Vedas, it doesn’t make sense as a name of person. It is a name for several commentaries on the Vedas as a corpus. Imagine calling someone Bible Summary.
AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team
@debit: I cannot wait for this!
I anticipate Boebert-child level random crimes
like a metaphor
there was a microtrend here, several years ago, of naming baby girls Abcde. Pronounced Absady. I have no idea how to pronounce the middle name- Fghijk
Ohio Mom
All this time I have been mispronouncing (in my mind’s ear) Anne Laurie as “Ann Laurie.” My apologies.
BlueGuitarist
More than a decade old, but on point:
Hank Green, “How to name your baby properly”
Suggesting rules including
“Run it by a focus group of 12-year-olds” and
“Spell like a normal person”
not Jaucshuwa or Quathyryn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G4V-N6EEvY
dexwood
Decades ago, when my wife was pregnant, we were often asked if we had names picked out. Sure, I’d reply, Shadrack if a boy and Velveeta if a girl. The looks we received were fantastic
Misterpuff
While riding a sandworm! Spicy!
TheronWare
Those selections look like something out of an rpg name generator – hahahaha!
RSA
Poor kids. My reactions:
Brexleigh sounds like a political statement (“Brexit was a good thing”) that will not age well.
Leviathan was a sea monster. Also the title of a book by Thomas Hobbes, the most famous passage of which explains that life outside of society would be “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”
Mötley has no other justification as a name aside from being the first half of a metal hair band. Good luck with that. Take out the umlaut, and you get “a mixture, especially of incongruous elements.”
NotMax
@PaulWartenberg
“Class, say hello to our newest student, AC/DC Voltaggio.”
Anoniminous
Why not go traditional and with Ælfgifu, Elswyth, Thorberta, & etc. , for girls; for boys Arowulfaz, Firthuriks, Waldaharaz, and so on are good choices.
Baud
I tell you, life ain’t easy for a boy named Sue
Delk
Ashli
topclimber
@Baud: Sorry, but we are talking about names for human babies.
NotMax
@Baud
The Scottish version.
;)
persistentillusion
@Timill: “Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery Pulsifer”. Fictional but still.
FlyingToaster
The spouse & I agreed that the babyname options had to be names recognizable by at least one of their grandparents. We only have the one kid (WarriorTeen) who has a girl’s legal name and a masculine nickname — by their choice*.
Hereabouts in the
People’s RepublicCommonwealth, one out of every 5 female teenagers seem named Isabella. Jeebus.* Honestly, it was their nickname at about 3 days old. The grandparent who would have recognized it had passed before they were born, and he would have approved while guffawing. The kid chose to start using it in 4th grade as part of coming out as nonbinary — like we hadn’t figured that out when they were a toddler.
schrodingers_cat
@Baud: Rhymes with God. Coincidence?
brendancalling
@CaseyL: I used to know a lovely young woman named Liesl. It’s a lovely name.
The vast majority of my students are Black and Latino kids, so I’m kind of used to different sounding names. Off the top of my head, I know a Yadieli, a Yarieli, a Norielis, a Kydier, a Cyncere, a Taaj (might be Tajj), an Alhaji, a Mahije, a Makhi, a M’kai, a Machai (all pronounced the same), three or four different variations of Sakarya, two Neveahs, and so many more.
I think their names are super cool. Yadieli is a pain in my neck, but I love saying her name. It rolls of the tongue YAA-dee-EL-ee.
RSA
Back around the early 2000s, one of my wife’s friends had a daughter named Ava, whose pre-school class included three other Avas. Two or maybe three of them were Ava Grace. My wife and I were told that Ava Gardner, a local girl who had made it big, was still remembered in the area (North Carolina). We were still nonplussed.
Starfish
I am about to fight whoever chose “You know ‘Alison’ but with a ‘z’ in there.” I am coming after this Aliznne parents. Why do they hate their kid that much? That kid is always going to have their name misspelled to the normal way.
Bostondreams
I wanted to name my daughter Fenway. Then a friend introduced their new dog, Fenway. My wife just gave me a look. We went with Meghan.
Now I just take them to Fenway every summer instead. :)
Baud
@schrodingers_cat:
भगवान श्री बॉड
HumboldtBlue
@PaulWartenberg:
Wolfgang is a fantastic name.
like a metaphor
ok, my real name is Congoleum, because I’m down, like the kitchen floor
ronno2018
many many examples here — https://www.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/
West of the Rockies
There were two kids (sisters) in my kids class about ten years ago named Heritage and God’s Grace. The first seems alright, but the other one is… kind of a lot for its owner and everyone else. Maybe she’ll just go by GG.
Delk
@HumboldtBlue: Wolfgang Van Halen
Kay
@CaseyL:
Its Leisel, which is German.
satby
I have to cop to naming my younger son not only an Irish name but with an archaic spelling, just so we could call him Paddy. Which Americans hear as Patty and so my kid actually lived the “Boy Named Sue” song. He’s forgiven me, sort of.
NotMax
@schrodingers_cat
Reaching back into history, Queen Victoria had “the Munshi.”
NotMax
Mentioned it previously but a family surnamed Silva here named their three sons
Sterling
Quick
Hi Ho
.
K-Mo
Rocklyn is kinda bad ass, but I’m a hard no on the rest.
Fair Economist
I always thought, and still do, that a name should be slightly unusual but not unique – uncommon enough that you’re the only one with the name in the room, most of the time, but not weird enough that people go “what?” when they hear it. If four kids in a kindergarten class have the same name, it defeats the purpose of naming.
@schrodingers_cat: Chinese names often kind of work that way – they mean something sounded out. Although in modern Chinese, not a 2,500 year old ancestral language. I’m not sure whether it’s better or worse to use an old language for that, although I lean to “better”.
Mustang Bobby
I’ve spent my life explaining “it’s Philip with one L.” Yeah, there’s also Phillip, but that ain’t me, and as my grandmother explained to me some 60 years ago, I’m not an oil company. So compared to these poor kids, I feel lucky.
Ruckus
The only thing I say is give them their own names. Be their parents, do not make them out to be the second or third you.
And if your parents were stoned when they gave you your name, change it. Be who you want to be.
And remember that somewhere there will always be someone with the same name as you. I have first hand examples
Oh and if your children grow up to be a murderer, change your name. I went to school (and church) with someone that spent a lot of decades in jail for murder.
BlueGuitarist
@NotMax:
Sterling and Hi Ho Silva are in that Hank Green video above at 39
Brachiator
Names. Names. Names.
Even short, “normal” names can be twisted into weird nicknames of torment. There was a brief time when Ben was associated with a rat from a movie. Kids are creative when it comes to being mean.
I have a distant cousin whose first name is an initial. His father hated his given name. The initial is what is on the birth certificate.
Many biblical adjacent names apparently have been retired. Charity. Faith. Hope.
Are month related names out of fashion? April. June. August.
Wilma and Bertha no longer seem pretty enough.
Magician Teller was born Raymond Joseph Teller and legally changed his name to the mononym. He doesn’t talk much about it.
His partner Penn has a daughter named Moxie CrimeFighter.
Mousebumples
Both my kiddos are named after grandparents. Long names with shorter nicknames. Seems easier that way.
West of the Rockies
Never mind.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@CaseyL: Perfectly good name if you live in Germany and spell it correctly, Lisl.
Sounds like somebody heard the name in “Sound of Music” and liked it but never bothered to check the spelling.
As a US name, yeah, going to get a lot of mocking. Poor kid should probably go by Liz.
Ruviana
@stinger: Yep. I went to grad school with a Liesl. She was American but of German descent
Roberto el oso
If ‘Mötley’ is after the band, then they’re doing it wrong, as hardcore fans refer to them as ‘Crue’.
Also, assuming ‘Leviathan’ is a boy’s name, that’s just sadistic, unless the baby is extremely well-endowed. Otherwise the parents are sentencing him to a lifetime of prospective romantic partners telling him “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed”.
Brachiator
@Ruckus:
And this will be true whether the parents were stoned or sober when they chose the name, so parents shouldn’t worry about it.
Jeffro
I’m trying to be careful about “respite” threads, so I’ll save the OMG for the next time folks wanna talk about the Dems on House Oversight (spoiler: BOOM! also: LOLOLOLOL!!)
annnnnyway…does anyone here also regularly hear stuff and go, “that would be an AWESOME band name!”?
I actually write them down sometimes. Weird habit but fun. =)
Starfish
@ronno2018: There truly is a reddit sub for everything. I love the name of it so much.
Bupalos
Someone mentioned the similarity between breighly and brexit, so this not OT:
Are folks aware that a hilarious viral slang useage in youth soccer has hopped the pond? When one player is about to commit an intentionally violent and pointless tackle they first shout “Brexit means Brexit,” the nonsense slogan of folks that insisted the U.K. kneecap itself by following through on its pointless, damaging referendum.
TeezySkeezy
@CaseyL: inverse gretel; no one would claim to be *Leazel*, least of all Leazel.
Ruviana
Nevaeh seems too precious–heaven backwards.
glc
@debit: Fouquier
Rusty
We were a it guilty of this. We were on an expat assignment for my job, living outside London. We got an unexpected (but very loved) bonus 4th child when most people are all done making babies. It was the night before planned C-section and we still hadn’t picked a name. Looking at some British name sights my wife found Rhys, popular there but uncommon here even with the typical US spelling of Reese. (The British spelling is actually Welsh) So that’s what he has, having to spell it every time, or mispronounced by anyone who isn’t a big Premier League fan. He has come round that it’s unique but understandable. It also carries the reminder of his UK birth.
Ruviana
peter
Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave
Had twenty-three sons, and she named them all Dave?
Well, she did. And that wasn’t a smart thing to do.
You see, when she wants one, and calls out “Yoo-Hoo!
Come into the house, Dave!” she doesn’t get one.
All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run!
This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves’
As you can imagine, with so many Daves.
And often she wishes that, when they were born,
She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn.
And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm.
And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim.
Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.
Another one Marvin O’Gravel Balloon Face.
And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate…
But she didn’t do it. And now it’s too late
ETA — Dr. Seuss, Too Many Daves
Tony Jay
@Roberto el oso:
Why didn’t they just name him Levi Ethan?
Unless, of course, Mummy and Daddy are called Azbelial and Molech Smith and run a private little ‘Bible study’ group for anonymous individuals out of their basement smokehouse business? Nice people, a bit reclusive, always taking in strays of the four and two footed varieties who never seem to stay for long because no one ever sees them around.
Then the kid’s name is one of those big honking sirens that should lead to ninja priest exorcists getting involved toot sweet.
NotMax
@Ruviana
Shades of Serutan.
;)
CaseyL
@brendancalling:
@Kay:
I don’t disagree: Leisl is a lovely German name.
Leazel is not. If they were trying for an unorthodox spelling, they should have done with Leezl or Lisel or… anything but Weasel-with-an-L.
Kay
@Rusty:
Rhys is nice. Good job.
Kay
Mystery solved!
Anne Laurie
@Ohio Mom: NO, please, ‘Ann Laurie’ is the correct pronunciation, in my case!
(My sister’s name is Barbara Ellen… )
Kay
@CaseyL:
It is a bad spelling.
kayg
@CaseyL:
It’s pronounced “ellee-aizel,” not “weasel.”
NotMax
@Anne Laurie
No Molly Malone?
:)
japa21
My first name is one (was one) of the 3 most common names. My last name is still one of the top 5 most common names. In third grade, in a class of around 20 students, there were three of us with the same first and last name and the teacher had to use middle initials when calling on us.
Therefore, we wanted to not go too normal. Our eldest son was born after several years of trying to produce progeny. We decided, therefore, that he is very special to us. We named him after a precious stone, but one that he could easily have a nickname from and one that wasn’t overly bizarre. It has increased in usage and though generally viewed more as a female name there are also a few well known males with the same name. We were astounded one time in rural Arkansas when we discovered the gas station attendant had the same first and last name. And our son has never expressed any discontent with his name.
We were not sure we would ever be able to have another child so when our second son was born we somewhat considered him a miracle, specially since he was 5 weeks premature and was in neonatal ICU for several weeks. We gave him a more conventional name, Matthew, which means “Gift from God”.
All the older son’s kids have biblical names and I won’t go into the background for that, but none of the weirder ones. Matthew and his wife gave special names, but not weird ones, to their boys. Lincoln Oliver (Abe and Holmes) and Theodore Francis (Roosevelt and the Pope). He, by the way, is the history teacher.
Baud
@Kay:
Once again, the car gets off scott free
schrodingers_cat
@NotMax: Munshi is like a secretary. That’s not really a first name but a title and is most likely of Farsi origin.
Kristine
It was bad enough in the ’60s/’70s when I was one of the few Kristines with a “K.”
schrodingers_cat
@Baud: Reminiscent of Bhagwan Rajneesh.
Origuy
My given name is Jeffery; not Jeffrey. I was never sure which way my mother actually wanted it spelled when they gave her the papers until I got a copy of my birth certificate. Fortunately, that was the way I was used to spelling it. People will look at it written down and type it in wrong. At least one of my car registrations has it wrong. I’m not the only person with that spelling, though, as mystery writer Jeffery Deaver is fairly well known.
ETA We had a house fire when I was eight, so the original birth certificate was lost.
NotMax
@CaseyL
Vin Diesel always sounds like a boutique winery in Alsace-Lorraine.
;)
TBone
A friend of mine was going to go with the first name of ‘Doctor’ for the little bundle of joy until he was talked out of it. Silly dude.
Frankensteinbeck
Names of major characters in my books:
Avery Special
Artifact Forge
Vanity Rose
Magenta Slade
Hodir Deathshriek Thorvalesen
Penelope Justice Akk
Do not let me anywhere near your children.
Jager
@PaulB:
Did his cousins own the Long Dong restaurant in Golden Valley MN?
Kay
@TBone:
We have an auctioneer here who uses “General” before his name – just like that, in quotes. It’s on his card and his letterhead.
People are just crazy as hell,
Old School
I always said that I liked biblical names. And also that I didn’t believe that one person should ruin a perfectly good name.
So I was going to name my firstborn Judas.
Little Judas Benedict.
Alas, I only have daughters.
Jager
I went to high school with a lovely girl named Sandy Kuntz, he dad’s name was, (you guessed it) Harry.
prostratedragon
@dexwood:
🎼Bowlene! Bowlene! Bowlene, Bow-lene!🎶
glc
@Anne Laurie:
I’ve just hit my cognitive limit for the day. I’ll go process,
NotMax
@Kay
General: one of the great jingles.
:)
karen marie
@RSA: They’re all horrible but Leviathan struck me as the absolute worst if the kid ends up being any kind of overweight.
It’s long been my contention that anyone who wants to be a parent should have to take and pass a rigorous parenting class. Anyone who fails is barred from reproducing, adopting or fostering.
prostratedragon
@Anoniminous: Whenever I encounter such names in the wild I try to remember that st some level, they’re all just made op.
NotMax
@Old School
Why not jump in with both feet — Abednego.
:)
Quadrillipede
@Fair Economist: Mandarin naming conventions are… very different from Western naming conventions.
(I mean, Hungarian uses Surname Firstname order as well, but I don’t think you can use literally any two words as a first name in Hungarian…)
karen marie
@like a metaphor: Wouldn’t that be “fuggedaboutit”?
Matt McIrvin
I kind of like “Coyote Bao.” It’s a fine tribute to wild suburban canids and steamed dumplings. An actual coyote bao might be a little gamey though.
Adryck is going to have to watch out for Cybermen.
Jackie
Forty-four yrs ago when pregnant with my son, we decided if a boy he would be named after his dad and my maiden name for my dad. My ex’s name was David but went by Dave, and I definitely didn’t want my son called Davy or Little Dave – so thinking we were being both clever and original decided he would be “DJ” for Dave junior. “J” isn’t the first letter of his middle name at all. Fast forward eight years and at least a third of his classmates and/or teammates were BJ, CJ, JJ, KJ… The only unique difference between my DJ and all the other alphabet J’s was their “J” stood for an actual J name. J is NOT on his birth certificate, so it causes confusion now and again when he’s asked, and he says Junior. He’s not a true junior as he only shares his first name with his dad.
Timill
And yet there is no Wiki page for Wonderful Terrific Monds III
[His father Wonderful Terrific Monds Jr. and his brother Mario Monds both have pages]
Matt McIrvin
@AndyG:
Well, of course, that’s a girl’s name [cue Bell Biv DeVoe drums]
dnfree
My mother named me a fancy spelling of a very common girl’s name when I was born in the early baby boom. Fortunately, by the time I started school in the early 1950s, she realized that everyone already knew how to spell this name, and it was going to be a lifelong inconvenience to me to spell it differently. So she just signed me up with the normal spelling. In those days, no one checked my birth certificate, and I’ve been grateful ever since.
karen marie
@Baud: It shouldn’t. Even a sober person has trouble figuring out whether they’re putting a Tesla in drive or reverse.
It would baffle me why such a design would have been greenlit but it’s fucking Musk, so …
dnfree
@jimmiraybob: My parents hated nicknames that ended in the “y” or “ie” sound, but naming my brothers common names like Steven, David, John, they did not succeed in keeping people from calling them Stevie, Davy, Johnny. My brothers were taught to correct people who called them those nicknames.
My aunt and uncle were more successful with names like Mark and Bret.
like a metaphor
I went to a foot doctor named Dr. Knee. I chose her out of the phonebook because it made me laugh. The same reason I chose Dr. Fang as a dentist. Neither of their offices were too far from the Tak Kee Chinese restaurant that I wanted to try.
lollipopguild
Back in the 60’s when I was in grade school I went to school with a boy named James Bond.
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev:
“Hi, I’m Bland, and this is my brother, Unseasoned.”
schrodingers_cat
@mrmoshpotato: And this is my sister Mayonnaise
dnfree
@dexwood: I once had a landlord whose last name was Buick. When asked what they planned to name their forthcoming baby, he would answer, “Rusty”. (I do not know the name or gender of the eventual baby.)
tailfedders
I had a job that entailed researching old court records, and for a while kept a list of the most amazing names I ran across. An all-time favorite: Aquanetta
NotMax
@like a metaphor
There’s a micro-chain of kosher Chinese restaurants in NY on Long Island named Cho-sen.
mrmoshpotato
@schrodingers_cat: And do you know our Aunt Avocado?
mrmoshpotato
@NotMax: That’s good. I’m assuming there’re no pork dishes on the menu.
Ruckus
@Brachiator:
I’ve had enough trouble picking out dog names – children?
I’ve often wondered if that’s why I don’t have any, so I didn’t have to name them.
RedDirtGirl
@Ohio Mom: I’m still not sure how it is supposed to be pronounced, if not that. : )
Jackie
Off topic sorta. It’s related to children…
Barron Trump turned 18 today, and there’s already a media food fight about whether he’s now “fair game.” I say no – unless he starts behaving publicly like his three older siblings, which I don’t see happening. Melania did one thing right – keeping Barron away from public scrutiny as much as possible. Much like Tiffany was raised: Quietly and mostly out of public.
schrodingers_cat
@mrmoshpotato: And Uncle Cottage Cheese.
Old School
@RedDirtGirl:
Like this.
Omnes Omnibus
@japa21: My mother has an “interesting” first name. My brother and I have names that were in the top 5 the years we were born. that tells you what she thought of having an interesting name. Me, if I had a son, I would have wanted to call him Hugo.
Splitting Image
Nicholas Barbon’s baptismal name was apparently “If Jesus Christ Had Not Died For Thee Thou Hadst Been Damned”. He was the son of Praise-God Barebone, who served in Oliver Cromwell’s 1653 Parliament.
dr. luba
@CaseyL: Perhaps Sound of Music fans who are bad at spelling…..Liesl, the oldest daughter.
I have friends who named their daughter Lieschen. Old German name. She had to spell it out often.
dr. luba
@karen marie: I had a couple who named their baby daughter Gidget. The were both large (tall and stout) people. The kid has no chance…..
Tony G
Back in the late eighties, my wife and I anticipated this trend, so we gave our sons really old-school names (Joseph and Daniel). We haven’t regretted it.
Ghost of Joe Liebling’s Dog
@Brachiator:
I’ve personally encountered a girl whose name is pronounced Kyrie Eleison, though it’s spelled slightly differently, and I’ve encountered in print I Will Rise And Go To My Father Smith.
Also a fellow who had adopted the nickname Fibber because he was given the name Lyman at birth and didn’t care for it in the least…
TBone
@tailfedders: I ran across that name IRL at a law office. I immediately smelled the hairspray my mom used to use on her 60s beehive hairdo. Aquanet had a very strong whiff, pew!
Ghost of Joe Liebling’s Dog
@like a metaphor:
When I was a kid, my dad used to like to take the family out to brunch when he was in funds. He favored a restaurant where he could park so as to pass by a doctor’s office which had on its front door the doctor’s name and specialty.
Elmer D Bones
Osteopathy
Another Scott
@Quadrillipede: My mom said she went to school with a girl named “Annis”. Apparently it’s a fine name in Greek. Not so much for rural Ohio.
:-/
A college friend said he knew someone who swore his name was (something like) John McSlush XXIII and signed his name that way.
Someone in my field published scientific papers under her one name. 5 letters.
People, and names, are weird.
Cheers,
Scott.
Melancholy Jaques
@brendancalling:
I teach in middle school. I’ve seen some fairly unusual ones. My newest student is a very nice young lady named Yorgelis. Never saw that one before. She wants everyone to call her Paola.
Omnes Omnibus
Adele?
frosty
Our sons were adopted from Chile and Bolivia. Naming them was simple, we kept the names they were born with: Cristian and Carlos.
Eyeroller
@CaseyL: It should be spelled Liesl, however. It’s a diminutive for (mainly) Elisabeth. In German, ie is pronounced like we’d spell “ee” whereas ei is pronounced “aye”.
Another Scott
@Kay: We should be happy that she didn’t make it out to the highway, I guess??
:-/
Cheers,
Scott.
Gary K
Since the New Year, I have been working in a 6th grade math classroom in the city school system, and man is it a chore for this elderly brain to learn 60+ names: how they’re spelled (very creatively) and pronounced (ditto) and which faces go with them. They’re laughing at me for not even knowing which are boy names and which are girl names, plus they think it’s great fun to pretend to be each other. I tell them that math is easy and learning names is hard, but they think it’s the other way round.
Eyeroller
@tailfedders: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acquanetta
Gary K
@Ghost of Joe Liebling’s Dog: Our campus once had a History instructor whose office nameplate read “Art Bowling, History”. He singlehandedly covered a wide swath of the curriculum!
Another Scott
@Omnes Omnibus: [ snort! ]
Cheers,
Scott.
wjca
Modesty does not become you.
AlaskaReader
Creativity can be overcome…
MinbariSafari
@peter: I showed this post to my husband, who immediately asked “where’s Oliver Boliver Butt?” Not to mention Paris Garter and Harris Tweed!
Tehanu
I’ve been collecting remarkable names for many years. My two top favorites happen to be next to each other in the alphabetical list: Poopa Dweck (cookbook author) and Prince Octopus Dzanie (athlete).
wjca
I, and my next two siblings, got only first names. Our parents’ explicit reason was “So if you decide you don’t like it, you can pick a middle name you do like and then just use that.”
None of us did. Our youngest brother, however, got both a first and middle name. He ended up changing to entirely different first, and last, names. Guess they had it right initially.
Soprano2
People who think those names are good have names like “John” and “Mary”. Girls didn’t have the name Erin when I was a kid. I got called Erwin a lot. It’s not fun to have a strange name when you’re a kid.
Glidwrith
The grandfathers on each side of the family wanted our firstborn son to be named after them. We were willing to grant that William Robert does have a fine sound.
However.
Half the family lives in Kentucky and we knew our son, if so named would forever be:
Billy Bob
We declined.
Another Scott
@Glidwrith: My step mom was from Mississippi. The William in her family was always, always, “William”. It always struck me as a bit odd, but I never asked about it.
I had a cousin who was always called “Butch” in the family when we were kids. I found out later that he was a “, Jr.” and that seemed like a decent solution to the old problem of being called “Junior”.
Names are weird.
Cheers,
Scott.
Shana
@comrade scotts agenda of rage: I was one of four Susans in my grade school classes which is why I started going by a variant of my Hebrew name
Glidwrith
@Another Scott: Deleted for privacy
sab
@Shana: Every grade school class I ever had had at least four Susans.
My family tends to name traditionally (old ancestors). The new name in my family was mine, Susan. Everyone had it. Thanks Dad.
Three or four of them in every class ever. They killed it. Nobody names kids that now.
Geminid
@sab: Linda used to be a popular name. I read about a Society of Lindas that even has annual conventions, but they have trouble recruiting young Lindas because there are so few these days.
Chris T.
Probably dead thread by now, but in the spirit of “mispronouncing words like misled as missile-ed”: when I was in college, I knew that Andre Norton (SF writer) was female. I did not know anyone named Andre so I assumed “Andre” was either a female name or an ambiguous one. I had a TA named Andrea and I mis-heard her name as “Andre”.
Lucky for me I only used that with the prof, not with the TA….
fancycwabs
Sure, those names are weird, BUT have you considered that in the future they’ll be easy to Google?
Walker
@Anne Laurie: It is worse than that. Laezel is the name of a (non human) character in Baldurs Gate 3
PaulWartenberg
@HumboldtBlue:
yeah but not with Wartenberg. Too many syllables. Wolfgang Wartenberg does not roll off the tongue easy. Ryan is shorter, fits better.
Paul in KY
I can’t believe anyone would name their kid ‘Motley’ (the band name with the dots over letter, etc.). Even the band members, at their most stoned, would not do that.
Paul in KY
@PaulWartenberg: That’s not anywhere near as bad as some of the examples given in the post.
Paul in KY
@schrodingers_cat: “Old Testament Stevenson”. There probably actually is one of those.
Paul in KY
@like a metaphor: That’s bad…
Paul in KY
@NotMax: Also Slipknot Fredricks in the class.
Paul in KY
@NotMax: Assume the ‘Hi Ho’ one hates them.
Paul in KY
@kayg: Tell that to the assholes on the playground.
Paul in KY
@Kay: I know a ‘General Morgan’. If he had made O-7, he’d have been General General Morgan.
A civilian tho.
Paul in KY
@karen marie: It was cool & edgy & they were all stoned…
Paul in KY
@dnfree: Should have named them Zarkon, Largor and Klarg. Harder to ‘y’ those.
Paul in KY
@NotMax: Used to be little hole-in-the-wall Chinese places in NOLA called ‘Takee Outee’.
Paul in KY
@Splitting Image: Boy, I bet that was a fun family to be around.
Paul in KY
@Chris T.: Have read her stuff. Never knew Ms. Norton was female.
Ben Cisco
Spelled: Jkmnop
Pronounced: Noelle
I’d have been tempted to call CPS…
Gravie
We named our son Zachary (just before that name became HUGE) and our daughter Jessica. They both labor under the burden of absolutely ordinary, much-used names, but at least people can spell them.
Paul in KY
@Ben Cisco: I would have had to call her ‘Jak-Mn-Nop’.
Why give them a effed up name like that. I knew an Indian couple that had a daughter and gave her a name that is pronounced ‘pervy’. I told him what the English word that sounded like that meant and he was a bit sad.
SteverinoCT
@Ohio Mom:
I had a coworker whose given name was Ann. She started using Anna when she married Mr. Drew.
The Lodger
@ronno2018: I was thinking of Bletchleigh, for the cryptography aficionados out there.