Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Books are my comfort food!

The revolution will be supervised.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Donald Jessica Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

The US Supreme Court is on the ballot in november.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

The jury literally has a bell they can ring to force Trump to show up on command. Greatest thing ever!

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

We still have time to mess this up!

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Fuck that bum, let’s go Joe!

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Today Was Better

Today Was Better

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Today was a pretty good day.

When I got up this morning I was jittery as all hell. Just nervous energy and dread, and I did not want to get up. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is not going to stop because of how I feel, so I just saddled up and just started doing shit because I don’t really have any other choice. I had to drive to Morgantown for a doctor’s appointment I had scheduled prior to hitting Arizona. So I got up, got showered, and off I went.

The calm of the drive was nice, and there were very few people on the road, so I had a nice leisurely drive. Doctor’s appointment went fine, ran some other errands, stopped by the office to pick up some books and other stuff, and then hit the road back. On the way back, I thought- “Wow, I almost feel ok?” And I did.

And still do. I am still ragged around the edges and going through life with training wheels and a helmet, but today was better. Had to hit Best Buy to return the memory sticks I did not end up using, Petco for some food for Steve, and Menard’s to replace some light bulbs. Stopped by the parents house since I had not seen them since they got home, and am now back home. Made a playdate with their dog to go for a walk tomorrow, and I will make sure to take pictures.

At any rate, I am pooped. Like I said, I still feel totally insecure and just raw, but even though I can still hear the tiger roaring, I feel like the beast is caged and the bars are holding. Like I know a backslide is right there if I am an idiot, but right now I am going the right way.

And my blood pressure is finally back to fucking normal. And I am to the point that when I read things, I comprehend them, rather than the way it was the last week, when I would read something, stare at it, and look at the words and none of them made any sense. It was like the meaning of whatever I read just bounced off my noggin and I was impervious retaining any information. I opened my email the other day and someone I have corresponded with for work over a dozen times had emailed me, and I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHO THEY WERE. I had to do a search and re-read all my previous emails back and forth just to remember who they were.

Fucking brain chemistry.

Also, I see that Joe Lieberman has died, and I would like to remind you all that if you can’t say anything nice about him, feel free to say it in the comments.

Reader Interactions

96Comments

  2. 2.

    Rat Lady

    Thank all of the gods ever imagined or who will be imagined.  About Fucking time.  What took you so long.

  3. 3.

    Another Scott

    Better is still good. Way to go! :-)

    I opened my email the other day and someone I have corresponded with for work over a dozen times had emailed me, and I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHO THEY WERE. I had to do a search and re-read all my previous emails back and forth just to remember who they were.

    I thought this was normal – it happens to me too, when I go away for a week or more. I’ve rationalized that there’s “work memory” and “vacation memory” and it takes a few days to move between them and swap them over and back.

    Keep on keeping on.

    :-)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  5. 5.

    Starfish

    There is definitely some reading comprehension stuff that goes on with depressed brain. I could read the same paragraph numerous times and still have no idea what it said.

    I am glad that you are starting to feel better, John Cole.

  7. 7.

    gwangung

    @Another Scott: This happened to me a couple times already with a person I worked with for years, and I misplaced their name for a month or two. I knew who they were, but not their name. (And I’m way older than John, here).

    Better day on top of everything else today? Sweeeeet.

  10. 10.

    Chacal Charles Calthrop

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better!

    Re Lieberman:  pride goeth before a fall.

  11. 11.

    Unabogie

    @johncole

    You’re not alone here. Last year I was diagnosed, at age 53, as have Autism Spectrum Disorder. There are lots people like me who basically made it through life knowing we weren’t exactly like those around us, but couldn’t exactly explain why. But being able to “mask” effectively, I have a job and a house and happy marriage.

    But along with this comes exhaustion, sensory overwhelm, and a lot of other co-morbidities that just kind of suck.

    So yeah, hang in there. I’m glad you’re getting some support.

  12. 12.

    Old School

    @Prescott Cactus:

    One nice thing about Russia, you never die due to complications from a fall.

    I’m pretty sure falls from windows are one of the top causes of death there.

  13. 13.

    wjca

    I’m envious of those who can remember people at all.  I’ve spent a lifetime where, when I travel, people will come up, give me a big hug, and tell me how glad they are to see me again.  And I’m standing there with no idea who they are, or even if I’ve ever seen them before.  (Yeah, faces as bad as names.)

    I manage my siblings, a couple of friends, and my wife.**  But that’s about it.  I’d worry that it was something age related, except that it goes back to at least my early 20s.

    ** Although there was the time, about 5 years after we got married, that I went to introduce her to some one and went totally blank on her name.  Fortunately, she’s got a quirky sense of humor, and thought it was funny.

  17. 17.

    schrodingers_cat

    My Lieberman obit

    He (JL) had such a winning personality that in the VP debate, Dick Chenney came out looking more personable and friendly. Quite an achievement.

  18. 18.

    CaseyL

    This put a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  You go, guy!

    Um… why are you buying food for Steve but not for Maxwell?  Is one of them on a special diet?

    How are your folks?

    I’ve already said most of what I had to say about The Passing of the Putz in earlier threads.  These hagiographical obits the MSM runs for any politician who wasn’t an outright ax murderer do piss me off, though.

  19. 19.

    Layer8Problem

    Very glad to hear this John, keep ’em flying!

    And . . .

    . . . and I would like to remind you all that if you can’t say anything nice about him, feel free to say it in the comments.

    They also serve who only sit and insult.

  21. 21.

    JaySinWA

    @Old School: I’m pretty sure falls from windows are one of the top causes of death there.

    Officially, sure. But a lot of them died before the fall.

  22. 22.

    Jackie

    Also, I see that Joe Lieberman has died, and I would like to remind you all that if you can’t say anything nice about him, feel free to say it in the comments.

    THAT’S the John Cole we know and love!

    Glad you’re continuing to feel better! Are you mentally and physically back on ET zone, yet? If you’re struggling with getting up in the morning, your body may still be adjusting to time-zone disorder.

  26. 26.

    caringandsensitive

    John, this is left over from yesterday. You said you were thinking about getting ink. I am an old so factor that when considering (or not) my opinion. I do not understand why anyone would mutilate themselves with a tattoo. I recognize that people do, but I don’t get it. My advice is simply don’t do anything until you are satisfied that your brain chemistry is normal/stable

  27. 27.

    JaySinWA

    @Layer8Problem: I’m pretty sure the defenestration is a signal, no matter if or how they were killed before they took flight. Kind of a signature warning to others.

  31. 31.

    Ohio Mom

    Cole, glad to hear things are improving for you — keep up the good work.

    @wjca: Have you ever heard of Prosopagnosia, also called face blindness? It’s a neurological condition where you have difficulty recognizing faces.i know about it because Ohio Son has a mild case of it.

  32. 32.

    citizen dave

    Often the one outliving so many lesser pols comes to mind–Jimmy Carter is still going.  In fact, on Monday, April 1, he will be 99 and one half years young.

  33. 33.

    zhena gogolia

    I was in the US Embassy cafeteria in Moscow in 1988. I knew that Bush had defeated Dukakis, but I didn’t yet know the outcomes for Congress (pre-internet days, kiddies). While waiting in line, I saw a posted list that told me that Lieberman had defeated Weicker. I was sick to my stomach. I went to the Lenin Library and wrote a long letter to Weicker. A couple of months later I got a personal reply from him. My Russian friends were incredibly impressed.

    That’s my first Lieberman memory. It goes downhill from there.

  34. 34.

    sab

    @Unabogie: You do know the zebra saying? That with diagnosis there is the comfort of knowing that you are a normal zebra instead of a strange horse.

  37. 37.

    wjca

    @Ohio Mom: Have you ever heard of Prosopagnosia, also called face blindness?

    Pretty obvious, when I finally heard of it a few years ago, that it’s what I’ve got.  Does make me sure that Mom was wrong all those years ago when she said I just wasn’t paying attention.

  44. 44.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Joe Lieberman is dead? Huh… Today we passed five feet of rain since the beginning of the year. Good thing he doesn’t live here because they would be lowering his casket into a pool and tossing mud on top of it.

  46. 46.

    dnfree

    @Ohio Mom: I have prosopagnosia too.  It can be hereditary, and is in my case.  If there are two blondes in a movie, they should have different hair styles or I won’t know which is which.  If there are two dark-haired men, one of them should have a mustache.  Otherwise I have to keep asking which is which.

  47. 47.

    p.a.

    Glad things are improving.  Do you still have a stick?  Wallball can be relaxing if you get a rhythm going, and can be a modest workout.  I haven’t done any since covid, but if the weather here ever improves I might head out.

  49. 49.

    Jackie

    John, you were walking daily in Arizona; are you still getting a daily walk in? Maybe borrow your parents’ pup for the company – it would be beneficial for both of you. I don’t want you to start regaining the weight you worked so diligently to lose, and get depressed over that!

  51. 51.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: I’ve read that here in southern New England, we’ve had seven occasions since last September 1 of 2.5″ or more of rain in 24 hours. I’m thinking my basement might be dry by July.

  52. 52.

    Mayim

    @Unabogie: I was diagnosed with ADHD, also at 53. Way back when, in my prehistoric elementary school days, boys bouncing off walls weren’t even diagnosed. So quiet girls with lots of overdue libraries books who often had to stay in at recess to tidy their desks certainly weren’t.

    That feeling of being not quite right ~ or somehow broken ~ or even full of moral failings (as an adult, my scattered brain dealing with adult stuff like paying bills joined the overdue books as a decided “flaw”)… very familiar! I’ve worked through way too much emotional baggage since my diagnosis so life is getting better.

  57. 57.

    prostratedragon

    “Do you know what it means to be compared unfavorably to Donald Segretti” is just not very melodious:

    The Bar finds that the “scale and egregiousness” of Eastman’s “unethical actions far surpasses the misconduct” by Nixon henchman Donald Segretti, who coined the word “ratf***ing” for political dirty tricks.

  62. 62.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I like to look outside, see the rain and wisecrack “I see the humidity is high today…”

    Wet is wet, I want dry as I’m sure that you do!

  63. 63.

    JoyceH

    The Lieberman death reminds me of how urgently we need to convict Trump of SOMETHING before he dies, so we don’t have to go through all the pomp and circumstances of a State Funeral. Nixon had a rather large but dignified private funeral, but you know the Trump spawn will demand every official ruffle and flourish they can get away with.  Nixon was a crook, but he had at least a rudimentary sense of shame. We need convictions!

  64. 64.

    Jackie

    @JoyceH: If TIFG gets a State funeral, I foresee the entire nation turning off TVs – except for the RW media. It will be a massive blackout.

  66. 66.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Jackie:

    If TIFG gets a State funeral, I foresee the entire nation turning off TVs – except for the RW media. It will be a massive blackout. 

    Peddlers of rotten tomatoes and eggs will make a killing.

  67. 67.

    mrmoshpotato

    I was out shopping earlier, and it’s nice to come back to the news that Joe Lieberman is still dead.

    Time for a late night burrito!

  68. 68.

    Sister Golden Bear

    So glad the tiger is caged, John.

    Me, I’m pissed at my spine doctor’s office (who I’ve been seeing because initially because I thought the torn rotator cuff was another round of pinched nerve).

    Checked the paperwork they filed for short-term disability and they filled it out with the info from when I last saw them four years ago for the pinched nerve. It refers to the wrong shoulder, and all the medical codes refer to the pinched nerve, instead of the rotator cuff — which means it won’t match the medical records they shared with the CA Disabilty.

    I’m sure it can be straightened out, but a minimum it means it’ll delay getting short-term disability approved, and worse case, my claim will get denied and I’ll have to appeal.

  70. 70.

    wjca

    @JoyceH: you know the Trump spawn will demand every official ruffle and flourish they can get away with.

    “Just say NO.”

    Seems like the right response.  Especially when you consider how many are fatally addicted to him.

  71. 71.

    mrmoshpotato

    @JoyceH:

    Nixon had a rather large but dignified private funeral, but you know the Trump spawn will demand every official ruffle and flourish they can get away with. 

    So what you’re saying is along with pissing all over Dump’s disgusting, orange, fascist corpse, we get to piss on his alive shitstain family too?

  72. 72.

    smike

    @NotMax: I believe is was you who posted the ‘Good Morning’ mug link. Just wanted you to know that I’m getting one. Still makes me smile to think of.

  74. 74.

    gene108

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I’ll never forgive Joe Lieberman for making Dick Cheney seem like able in comparison.

    **************

    Like I said, I still feel totally insecure and just raw

    Very succinct explanation of what mental illness can feel like.

    Also, insecure is me on most days.

    Raw’s saved for the special bouts of anxiety, where I start making contingency plans based on existential dread. I calm myself down enough to think rationally eventually.

  81. 81.

    NotMax

    Sometimes the little things get missed. ;)

    WW2 movie running in the background. Crew shown climbing aboard a bomber.

    (interior, cockpit) Co-pilot: “Crew in position sir. Ready for take off.”

    Pilot: “Cockpit check complete. Start port outboard engine.”

    Cut to exterior front shot of plane. Blades of the inboard starboard engine begin spinning.

  82. 82.

    Mai Naem mobile

    John, I’m glad you’re getting yourself back on track.

    I’m surprised I haven’t heard any conspiracy theories about how Lieberman died being that he criticized Biden very recently about his actions regarding Israel.

  86. 86.

    Grover Gardner

    “…if you can’t say anything nice about him, feel free to say it in the comments.”

    Or, as Alice Roosevelt used to say, “Sit next to me.” ;-)

  88. 88.

    Chris T.

    @Jackie:

    If TIFG gets a State funeral

    I think he should get a Trump Steak funeral, by being burnt to a crisp. (Left unspecified: whether he needs to be certified dead first.)

    @mrmoshpotato:

    So what you’re saying is along with pissing all over Dump’s disgusting, orange, fascist corpse …

    If they do it my way, hold off on the pissing part, at least for a bit.

  91. 91.

    Ramalama

    @zhena gogolia: dang. You worked in embassy in Moscow? That must have been interesting. No wonder you got a personal letter back.

    I worked briefly in the us consulate in Amsterdam for the dept of commerce which advised travel to the us for foreign nationals. Essentially putting brochures in the mail from various cities in the USA. But the fun part was over the phone informing Dutch and others that driving to Memphis from New York City and also going to Hollywood California was not possible in a week. This was in the late 1980s. Before the Internet. Fun.

  96. 96.

    VOR

    @wjca: re: Prosopagnosia. There is a movie with Milla Jovovich called “Faces in the Crowd” where her character has face blindness due to a head injury. They illustrate the condition by using multiple sets of actors for people around the lead character. She goes to a bar with 3 friends, leaves for the bathroom, and when she returns it’s a different set of actors with different faces. Overall the movie isn’t great, but I thought that was a clever approach.

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