If you were asked to paint a picture of Trump in a single sentence, it seems like this would be a pretty good one.
Antichrist update: He’s selling Bibles during Holy Week to cover his bills while manipulating the stock market with a pump and dump IPO and attacking the daughter of a judge with a story he fabricated.
— Jack E. Smith ⚖️ (@7Veritas4) March 29, 2024
Is this too many words for a tombstone (when the time comes)? I think the only change we’d need to make would be to change “he’s selling” to “he sold”.
He’s selling Bibles during Holy Week to cover his bills while manipulating the stock market with a pump and dump IPO and attacking the daughter of a judge with a story he fabricated.
Feel free to submit your own one-sentence summary in the comments.
How long can community notes last on twitter if they are going to disrupt things by pointing out the truth?
Nancy Mace getting absolutely crushed by community notes 🤣 pic.twitter.com/b6xVdrk92I
— Wu Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) March 28, 2024
This is the only line I’ve seen from Biden’s Big Event last night, but I already know it’s my favorite.
.@JoeBiden at the NY fundraiser:
Harry Truman said if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. I got one and it bit a secret service agent.
— Nandita Bose (@nanditab1) March 29, 2024
.
Senior Judge Reggie Walton: “We do these jobs because we’re committed to the rule of law & we believe in the rule of law & the rule of law can only function effectively when we have judges who are prepared to carry out their duties without the threat of potential physical harm.” pic.twitter.com/V1GC7LVD2g
— Kaitlan Collins (@kaitlancollins) March 29, 2024
CNN interview with Judge Reggie Walton.
(Media-ite) interview excerpts
Collins asked senior United States district Judge Reggie Walton why he decided to speak out.
“I think it’s important that, as judges, we speak out and say things in reference to things that conceivably are going to impact on the process, because if we don’t have a viable court system that’s able to function efficiently, then we have tyranny,” Walton said. “And I don’t think that would be good for the future of our country or the future of democracy in our country.”
COLLINS: What do you make of how the judge here, Judge Juan Merchan, didn’t include himself or his family in the gag order?
JUDGE WALTON: Yeah, I understand why he wouldn’t do that. I mean, again, I think we cannot make ourselves a part of the case. I mean, obviously, we are a part of the case because we’re presiding over the proceeding, but we can’t make the case and the issue about us. And that can be very difficult, but it comes with the territory.
COLLINS: You’re someone who has always been really straightforward in your assessment of the former president. If you read your comments when you’re sentencing people, when you’re in these cases, you once referred to him as a “charlatan” at the sentencing of a January 6 defendant. I know you’ve gotten a lot of those cases before you. You’ve said that you don’t think he cares about democracy, only power. That you once seemed to suggest you didn’t, you weren’t sure he’d accept defeat if he lost in this election. Do you still feel that way tonight?
JUDGE WALTON: I’d rather not comment on that. I mean, I’ve made those, you know, the comments I made in the context of the sentences I imposed because I’m hoping that what I say to the individuals who I’m sentencing will resonate with them and cause them to rethink the activity that they engaged in that brought them before the court, and hopefully deter them from engaging in further conduct of that nature in the future.
COLLINS: Have you been on the receiving end of more threats since you’ve had the January 6 defendants in your court?
JUDGE WALTON: Yes, I’ve had more threats than what used to be the case. Yes, I have received a greater number of threats as a result of that incident and the fact that cases arising out of that incident have appeared before me. I mean, it was rare. I’ve been a judge for over 40 years, and this is a new phenomenon. I’m not saying that it didn’t happen before, but it was very rare that I would ever receive any type of a threat, regardless of what type of cases I was handling. And unfortunately, that is no longer the case. I know the marshals service has seen a significant increase in the number of threats against judges, and I think, obviously, that’s very, very, very concerning.
Open thread.
HinTN
No, I’ve seen stones with novellas inscribed upon them. They’re just large flat tablets. Tell him his stone will be yuuuuge and he’ll be all in.
coin operated
Kinda hard to top that…
Baud
I’m curious how Community Notes actually gets authored.
zhena gogolia
I just saw that Trump’s tweet selling the Bibles started out “Happy Holy Week!” Holy Week is a time when we contemplate the sacrifice Jesus made, his trial, torture, humiliation, and excruciating death. If you are a Christian who has ever participated in Holy Week (as opposed to getting some chocolate bunnies on Sunday), you do NOT say “Happy Holy Week.”
What a despicable piece of shit he is. (Happy Good Friday! //)
JPL
I mocked Kaitlin Collins when she did the town hall with trump. It was one of her first interviews and she has improved ten fold. I doubt that trump would appear with her now.
Josie
@zhena gogolia:
This is on target. Last night I sang in the choir for an Episcopal Church Maundy Thursday service. After the foot washing, the stripping of the altar, and exiting the church in total darkness, one could hardly say “Happy Holy Week.” I doubt that he has ever gotten close enough to a church to have a clue.
comrade scotts agenda of rage
One sentence description:
“Trump is a piece of shit that needs to be scraped off the proverbial shoes of the nation.”
Or this:
“A disturbing, highly destructive, incompetent, erratic and unprincipled symptom of the sickness that is the Republican Party and it’s supporters who not only elected him but allowed and encouraged him to be the absolute worst President in the history of the United States.“
Neither are mine but I think they sum things up nicely in their own ways.
Chetan Murthy
@comrade scotts agenda of rage: “Nothing becomes his life so much as him finally, finally leaving it.”
Baud
Here lies an asshole’s asshole.
Chetan Murthy
@Baud: “public restroom here”
WaterGirl
@zhena gogolia:
He really is.
I laughed out loud at that, at your mockery of his cluelessness.
Also, I think you meant to say Happy Stations of the Cross!!
He is not a normal human with normal human emotions. I believe he is truly a sociopath.
jimmiraybob
Always up for a challenge…
Donald John Trump, morally and ethically devoid serial-lying toxic narcissist, verified and unrepentant sexual assaulter and adulterer, verified life-long unrepentant conman and fraudster, twice impeached, proud owner of 91 felony indictments, absolute ignoramus, racist, failed presidential candidate, and failed president, and Hilter admiring aspiring fascist strongman is selling Bibles during Holy Week to cover his bills while manipulating the stock market with a pump and dump IPO and attacking the daughter of a judge with a story he fabricated.
I hope I didn’t leave too much out. [damn, looks like I left out “…despicable piece of shit…”]
Sure, “AntiChrist” works. So would “Satan” if you consider that the original role of the Satan was as an advisor to God to test the faith of humans. Pity the Christian MAGA/Trumpsters when they get to the gate and Saint Peter breaks the news to them.
Chetan Murthy
Solely out of curiosity, is there an appropriate greeting for this time? Does it change with the day of the (this) week ? Just curious.
Jeffro
@zhena gogolia:
@Josie:
I’m telling y’all, someone should have trolled him for being insufficiently excited about Easter – you know, Jesus’ birthday? ;) – and just let events unfold.
(yes I know 99% of the fundies still would have excused him for not knowing the difference between Easter and Christmas, but it’d be great to have everyone else laughing at him)
Jeffro
Correct on both counts.
Related, maybe: he has actually caused me to question my own atheism from time to time. But that’s actually giving him too much credit. He’s just the worst that humanity has to offer, in every dimension.
pat
@Chetan Murthy:
I’m in Austria. The greeting is “Frohe Ostern” (Happy Easter.)
Oh, and the grocery stores and all other business are closed on Sunday and on Monday (Easter Monday). Have to stock up….
catclub
Happy Good Friday? Fabulous Good Friday!
replace the Bach St Matthew Passion with Sousa marches.
zhena gogolia
@Josie: Yep.
mrmoshpotato
@Chetan Murthy: 404: Greeting not found?
Chetan Murthy
@pat: i decided to Google, and it appears that for good Friday a solemn greeting is appropriate.
zhena gogolia
@Chetan Murthy: You might say “blessed Holy Week” or “happy Easter” (not before Sunday, though), but not “Happy Holy Week.”
I heard a lot of people shouting “Happy Easter” in the grocery store today, and that grates on me too on Good Friday, but it’s not as bad as Happy Holy Week.
zhena gogolia
@Chetan Murthy: And if you’re Orthodox, after midnight on Saturday you can say “Christ is risen,” and the other person says, “He is risen indeed,” and then you kiss three times on the cheeks. That’s a really nice greeting.
Quadrillipede
I don’t think I really care what’s written on Lump’s tombstone as long as it’s waterproof and can be easily cleaned with a good hosing down every day or so. White ceramic seems like a decent choice of material.
pat
@Chetan Murthy:
When you are shopping and checking out in the grocery store, they say Frohe Ostern.
mrmoshpotato
I would say, “No! He’s a disgusting, fascistic, orange shitstain who sucks Kremlin asshole while wanting to have sex with one of his own daughters! I’m not painting a picture of that disgusting, orange shitstain even if it would rival the painting in The Picture of Dorian Gray!”
ETA
I think I misunderstood the assignment. 🤷♂️
Brachiator
Donald John Trump
Infantile Grifter Asshole
lollipopguild
@HinTN: The bigger the headstone the bigger the target to piss on.
m.j.
He couldn’t lie his way out of this.
Delk
Not good enough for my piss.
HinTN
@lollipopguild: That’s what I’m taking about!
gvg
I copied “Arizonans are weary of her high-decibel imitation of Donald Trump’s sour, self-absorbed, backward-looking, fact-free, sore-loser, endless grievance tour.” about Kari Lake this morning. I was thinking it was some good lines to use against Trump in Bidens campaign ads. It could be adapted for Trumps tombstone too.
hueyplong
DONALD J TRUMP
Human bacillus
May the victims of his narcissism and criminality rest in peace.
May he do otherwise.
Baud
Respecting sacred Christian holidays sounds woke to me.
HumboldtBlue
@WaterGirl:
We are currently on the family siblings thread, mocking having had to endure that drudgery every damn year. One sister posted a picture of the two Cali granddaughters out in the sun, coloring the sidewalk with chalk. No damn morosity and death told to you in horrific detail.
Happy crucifixion!
Mike in NC
Saw a nice photo of a headstone labeled “TRUMP” with a note on the bottom: Please Wash Hands After Urinating.
SiubhanDuinne
@zhena gogolia:
I have a vague recollection that at some point during his
presidencyoccupation of the White House, he wished Jewish people a “Happy Yom Kippur.” (If he were educated enough in Judaism to know about Tisha B’av, I’m sure he’d send out a nice cheerful greeting for that day as well.) Same idea.WaterGirl
@Chetan Murthy: I think I would go with “have a nice Easter”, but I guess you could always go with “yo, bitch, Easer be comin’.”
narya
Apropos of nothing, I decided to make some puff pastry. Last week I got some cherry galettes at a good local bakery, but, IMHO, the pastry was underbaked. (I realize you wouldn’t necessarily use puff pastry for galettes, but, other than being underbaked, they were pretty good.) Since I ordered frozen cherries for this week’s farm share (delivered today), I thought I could try to make my own galettes. And I made some chocolate pastry cream for the cream puffs that have been languishing in the freezer.
And, of course, Monday is Peeps On Sale Day, though I might hold back a bit this year.
M31
“For one 4-year period the worst person in the America and the President of the United States were the same man, and God willing, it will never happen again.”
WaterGirl
@hueyplong: Most excellent!
ewrunning
Super-callous, fragile ego, extra braggadocious.
Brachiator
Donald Trump reminds me of the 17th century Dutch naval officer, Cornelis Tromp. Despite warnings about his character, he won promotion, and despite his military success, he engaged in plots and numerous unsavory activities that caused social havoc.
I hope that Trump’s end is much like that of Tromp.
M31
and you could have a convenient handle to take care of the hosing, and a convenient tank to hold the water, maybe a privacy screen around it so mourners could have time with their memories, the public would be so appreciative
mrmoshpotato
@Chetan Murthy:
🎶 Basketball jones 🎶
WaterGirl
@narya:
My cherry galette is always awesome. The pastry part is a buttermilk cornmeal recipe that cannot be beat! :-) Maybe yours be just as good.
WaterGirl
@ewrunning: 5 stars!
lowtechcyclist
If I thought Dump had the least bit of perception about such things, I’d say that with the Bible thing, he was playing with white evangelicals’ heads, to see just how far they’d follow him as he does his best imitation of the Antichrist.
Of course he has none, but it works out the same where the white evangelicals are concerned.
mrmoshpotato
@Quadrillipede:
Yes. Clean toilets are very important.
Sure Lurkalot
Fuckwad.
Just keeeping it true and simple on a Friday afternoon.
mrmoshpotato
@lollipopguild:
Yes, but then a larger amount of manure is needed to cover it.
mrmoshpotato
@Delk:
Look at you, Mr. Fancy Bladder!
UncleEbeneezer
Beyonce dropped her country album Cowboy Carter this morning and it is truly superb. Amazing tunes, killer covers and some legendary cameos from Dolly, Willie, Miley and others. This shit is so much better than the garbage, pop-country I used to have to play four sets of, about a decade ago. And like everything Beyonce does it is just bursting with unapologetic celebration of Blackness. I hope it wins “Best Country” and “Best Album” awards.
BigJimSlade
@comrade scotts agenda of rage: I was just going to go with:
FART
er, SHART
different-church-lady
“Do we have to wait until Trump’s words get someone killed? Wait… January 6, you say?”
Another Scott
@Quadrillipede: Nah. We need to think outside the box.
Military.com:
TIFG’s tomb should be in a similar situation, either in Puerto Rico or Haiti. Make his minions travel a bit if they want to pay their “respects”.
Grr…,
Scott.
mrmoshpotato
@narya:
Narrator: We all know she won’t.
NotMax
Tombstone inscription?
“Nothing to see here. Please move along.”
//
FelonyGovt
@zhena gogolia: Hell, I’m Jewish and even I knew that. It’s not a “happy” week.
cain
@Josie:
His supporters don’t go to church either. They sit in the sofa pews of the church of Fox News.
mrmoshpotato
“Dog Relief Area”
Brachiator
@ewrunning:
Bravo!
Tehanu
Not at all!
Attempted Chemistry
Here lies Donald J. Trump, the most virtue-free American.
Kayla Rudbek
@UncleEbeneezer: sold! I started with the Smoke track. I can’t wait to see what the Gardiner Brothers do with the entire album (they do Irish dance and they did it for the Texas Hold-Em Beyoncé single)
VFX Lurker
Baud wins the Internets for today and the foreseeable future.
Elizabelle
Never forget that Trump wanted to have all the churches open for Easter Sunday, when Covid was first taking its enormous toll. Talk about promoting superspreader events.
Fuck Trump, and fuck the evangelicals he rode in on.
Citizen Alan
@HinTN: I think Shitgibbon’s memorial should just be a giant granite dildo. Well, I say giant. I mean it should be proportioned so that it’s small enough to match Stormy Daniels’ description.
Citizen Alan
@Jeffro:
The same. I have truly, genuinely wondered if he might be the Antichrist. Because I think it would be a hilarious sign of God’s sense of humor that He finally allows the End Times to draw near, only for the Antichrist to be an absolute moron who might as well walk around wearing a t-shirt that says “I am Satan Incarnate” and still the evangelicals adore him.
Citizen Alan
@zhena gogolia: To be fair, if you’re one of the people for whom Easter means “watching adorable little kids dressed in their Sunday best getting their picture taken with the Easter Bunny before they go on the Egg Hunt and then get sick on chocolate,” why not say “Happy Easter”?
Godless heathen that I am, I’m just disappointed that I didn’t realize until too late that you could order chocolate coins wrapped in silver instead of gold. I’d have ordered them for my Wednesday D&D group and dropped 30 of them on the table to commemorate “Spy Wednesday” instead of the Carrot Cake Cookies I made.
(I was even more surprised to learn that silver chocolate coins are apparently sold for Passover. Which raises what TV Tropes calls “Unfortunate Implications.”)
Citizen Alan
@hueyplong:
My vote is for:
sab
@Citizen Alan: Like Dorothy re Kansas, you aten’t in Mississippi anymore.
My great-great- grandmother from Ireland left her three married sons (2 married protestants, one married a jewish girl who converted to Anglicanism) 3 dollars in dimes (dimes were all silver back then.) She didn’t disown the son who never married but carried on a lifelong affair with an unhappilily married woman.
We all hated Catholics after that for generations, until my baby sister and I both married Catholics. Mom decided that both of the sons in law were good eggs (her ultimate praise) as was her raised under Maoist communism third son in law. Not the family life she expected.
NotMax
@Citizen Alan
Treat of long standing. First cousin to the chocolate coins which proliferate for Hannukah.
prostratedragon
@zhena gogolia:
Bach startled Europe with the vehemence of this. I don’t know what now would shake people up similarly, but someone might come up with something.
Mike S. (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)
@Jeffro: Unless he is the Antichrist, if there is a Christian God he would surely have been struck down by lightening or mcokery for failed prophecies as a false prophet. So I’m sticking with there is no God.
scav
Here lies Donald J. Trump. As he did every day of his life.
OzarkHillbilly
“Piss here.” seems an acceptable alternative.
Citizen Dave
Dying thread but for posterity, similar to scav 2 posts above, my default on twitter is simply: Orange Man is 100% bullshit 100% of the time.
kalakal
Welcome to the Donald J Trump National Urinal & Spittoon
wjca
Well, yes. But that’s far from a complete explanation. In fact, it’s a slur on sociopaths. It is entirely possible to have no real empathy, but still treat others with respect and behave in a moral fashion.
Being someone who apparently missed out on the empathy gene, I have some perspective here.
wjca
On balance, what he deserves is an unmarked grave. Getting no attention would outrage him far more than even the nastiest epitaph.