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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Vulgarians at the Cake (Open Thread)

Vulgarians at the Cake (Open Thread)

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Poor Mrs. Mitt. After 40+ years of back-breaking momming, the woman has earned the right to kick back and take it easy. And she could, too, if it weren’t for her husband’s compulsive need to cross “Be President!” off his bucket list.

So Mrs. Mitt is forced to endure serial humiliations, one of the worst of which must surely be the obligation to interact socially with a vulgar, embarrassing blowhard like Donald Trump. Last night, Mrs. Mitt was obligated to paste on a smile and ride the elevator to the 66th floor of Trump Tower to join Trump, his wife Melanoma and 400 other crass rich people (the only kind willing to share airspace with Trump) to raise $600,000 for the Mitt campaign at a “birthday party” for Mrs. Mitt. (66th floor + $600,000 – $599,994 = 666!)

And, because even though Trump was born rich, he somehow managed to avoid acquiring the good taste and manners that often make our plutocrats seem less overtly monstrous than they actually are, he exposed poor Mrs. Mitt to maximum tackiness, including a sugary image of herself astride a sugary Austrian Warmblood dancing horse, thus inviting unflattering comparisons between Mrs. Mitt and Marie Antoinette.

The Cake Boss dude, who constructed the monstrosity, chose to surround the horse and rider with stumps. Why? A subtle protest of Trump’s desire to clear-cut ancient Scottish trees to build vulgar golf resorts? It’s a mystery. And an open thread.

Reader Interactions

100Comments

  4. 4.

    bob h

    I once caught sight of Trump striding into the Juilliard School at Lincoln Center, preceded by a movie camerman, and followed by an abject, scrawny blond. They did one take, then all got into a limousine, and did it again. I was astounded by the vulgarity.

  5. 5.

    gogol's wife

    Are you kidding me? I saw that and thought, “That Betty Cracker, she’s always concocting these ridiculous, hilarious images for us!”

  6. 6.

    Omnes Omnibus

    That thing was produced by a professional? Just imagine how the Romneys squirmed at having to be there and suck up to the short-fingered vulgarian.

  7. 7.

    samara morgan

    why do willard and Ann say “austrian warmbloods”? cuz it sounds more tony? snob appeal? i bet it frosts her chaps that even jockey club mares can get in the book with an inspection.
    after all, the Oldenberg Verband does take practically anyone.
    those are oldenbergs.

    Even though he is a full generation younger than stallions such as Weltmeyer, Sandro Hit has sired several Licensing champions, 120 State Premium Mares, 11 Bundeschampions, Multiple successful Grand Prix horses, and numerous top auction horses, and that is just in Germany. In the US, he has sired the Grand Prix mare, Sandrina owned by Ann Romney and ridden by Jan Ebeling.

    According to a new financial disclosure form filed by the former Massachusetts governor, Romney’s wife, Ann, earned $15,000 to $50,000 since the beginning of 2010 in interest on a loan to a horse farm in California called the Acres. According to a spokesman for the campaign, the item is a personal loan of more than $250,000 that Romney’s wife made to the family’s horse trainer.
    Romney filed his original disclosure form in August identifying assets worth at least $85 million. Like Members of Congress, candidates file forms disclosing the value of assets in broad ranges; because some categories of value have no maximum (such as spousal assets worth “over $1 million”), Roll Call only tabulates the minimum values.
    At the end of September, Romney filed a one-page amendment to his disclosure form, noting an asset that had not previously been listed.
    The asset is a loan valued at $250,000 to $500,000 to a firm called ACR Enterprises in Moorpark, Calif.
    ACR Enterprises operates the Acres, a horse-training facility in a sport called dressage, which is a competitive discipline of steps and movements by the horse, a kind of gymnastics sometimes called horse ballet.
    Ann Romney and two other women own a dressage horse named Rafalca, which is ridden in competition by Jan Ebeling, the owner of the Acres. The horse and rider have done well — in March, Ebeling and Rafalca won the California Dressage Affaire Grand Prix, according to a publication called Dressage News.
    The loan is apparently to Ebeling, though Ebeling and his wife did not respond to emails and phone calls from Roll Call.

    Ann Romney is also part-owner with Ebeling’s wife of Rob Rom Enterprises LLC, a California company that “owns horses,” the candidate’s disclosure form shows, though the couple reports no income from the corporate entity. The value of Rob Rom is listed as $250,000 to $500,000.

    yup. just your average housewife. Hilary Rosen was mistaken– ann romney is a horsewife.

  8. 8.

    Warren Terra

    Given it’s the nature of the industry, does Ann Romney make money from pimping out her horses stud fees?

  11. 11.

    Linda Featheringill

    This campaign may prove to be difficult for Ann Romney. I wouldn’t be surprised if she succumbed to exhaustion. I personally think the lady is frequently nuts but I really don’t wish further ill health upon her.

  12. 12.

    gocart mozart

    Interesingly, the stumps surrounding the horse and rider each cost $6.00 to make. . . and there are three of them!?!?!?!?

  14. 14.

    Schlemizel

    @Alexandra:
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Marzipan is wonderful. This nightmare & those like it it are covered in a tasteless paste known as ‘fondant’. Its a perfect allegory for Willard & Dump. Tasteless, empty, mold-able into whatever you want it to be and devoid of any soul.

    Please do not blame beautiful marzipan for these sins

  15. 15.

    samara morgan

    @Warren Terra: I think Rob Rom LLC owns a stallion…Silver something. I can look in the Oldenberg stud book for his stallion test results.
    ACR Enterprises owns at least four horses as far as i can tell.
    …all valued at at least 250k each. A breeding business for the Romney’s is a way of hiding more tax dollars from Uncle Sam. I grew up with many of these horrible people. They are parasites on the horse industry. The horses could be paintings or jewelry…but there isn’t that tax advantage on those collections.

  18. 18.

    samara morgan

    @Nicole: she rides with an FEI approved helmet in RL and Ebeling rides the “real” horses…
    christopher reeves taught the one-percenters that lesson, about buying more horse than you could ride.

  20. 20.

    Michele C

    Okay, the stumps are just weird. Not that the whole damn thing isn’t weird, but design-wise what’s with the stumps?

    Sigh.

  21. 21.

    UncommonSense

    Maybe they’re not stumps.

    Maybe they’re massive horse… um… pucks, if you know what I mean.

    That’s just the sort of thing Trump would find screamingly hilarious.

    “BWAA-HA-HAAAA!!! (Spits out mouth full of cake and Jack Daniels) They’re horse toyds!!! What?”

  24. 24.

    MattF

    So, I read the article at the link until I hit the phrase ‘lifelike equestrian cake’ which just stopped me dead in my tracks. ‘Lifelike’? ‘Equestrian’? ‘Cake’? Folks, the conclusion is unavoidable: the Universe is a joke.

  25. 25.

    Donut

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I dunno, maybe the Romneys actually have a lot in common with the meatheaded reality TeeVee actor/real estate marketing grifter. After all, they are both part and parcel of the elite team of rich assholes who were born on third base but still insits it had to work harder than everyone else to score a run, so they need more tax cuts. Trump comes off as being more crass, but I think that’s just because he is of the East coast and that persona fits his geography. Romney seems to me to be just as crude, only more Midwestern in attitude, with added Mormonism to further dial up the ‘aw-shucks’ Ward Cleaver persona.

  26. 26.

    Chyron HR

    Your attempts to court the elusive Brony vote have failed, Mitt. Go eat some more cheesy grits instead.

  27. 27.

    JoyfulA

    We have a rich people’s horse farm down the road, with polo matches in the summer. Now the son of the original horselover has died (strangely enough, of MS), and word is that no one else in the family is interested. I’ve seen only a few horses out grazing this spring.

    I’d miss seeing the horses along the main road, especially since the fields have urban sprawl on either side.

  28. 28.

    Kirbster

    The stumps…

    Well, every political candidate has a “stump speech” and Mittens has at least three, depending on his audience.

  29. 29.

    Svensker

    Trump got the cake from The Cake Boss? Seriously? We lived in Hoboken for years and Carlos’s Bakery (the Cake Boss’s joint) was considered the best in town for cheap party cakes because they kind of tasted like actual cake instead of sweetened road kill like most bakery birthday cakes. But they weren’t good. Just less awful. The rest of the stuff in their bakery was awful. There was a really good bakery down the street from us (although they didn’t make cakes) but the baker ran afoul of some of the local mobsters and got shut down. Best jelly donuts I’ve ever had in my life, now just an unrepeatable memory.

    I love it that Trump is impressed by some cheap shit celebrity baker. And I especially love it that the Romneys had to endure it. Well, you know what they say: lie down with dogs, get up with diarrhea.

  30. 30.

    rikyrah

    Lawsuit: Former Bain execs fired employees for not being Mormon

    Former executives from Bain Capital, a company founded by presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, have been accused of firing six out of seven members of a management team for not belonging to the Mormon church.

    David McCurdy and four other co-plaintiffs are suing Sorenson Capital Partners (SCP), Care Holding Co., Care Senior Living, and SCP Care Acquisition because they say the private equity firm fired them from their jobs at Care Senior Living because they were not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), according to Courthouse News Service.

    “Despite the promise of 5-years employment, in mid-November 2011, after only 7 months Plaintiffs were told that their employment would be terminated effective February 2012,” the lawsuit (PDF), which was filed in federal court in Oregon, states.

    rawstory.com/rs/2012/04/18/lawsuit-former-bain-execs-fired-employees-for-not-being-mormon/

  31. 31.

    samara morgan

    since this is nominally an open thread I’m finding the veepstakes hilarious.
    latest magical thinking– Condoleeza Rice. lolwhut? she voted for Obama.
    Conservatives just don’t understand how loathsome they actually are, do they?
    at least they seem to have finally given up on Gen. Petraeus.

  32. 32.

    gocart mozart

    Also, the stumps are exactly 6 centimeters high . . . and there are three of them! Wake up sheeple!

  33. 33.

    YellowJournalism

    That cake is going to give me nightmares. The “Ann” looks like she’s ready to ride off it and take a bite out of the party guests with that giant, demonic mouth.

  34. 34.

    Ash Can

    Considering the class, or lack thereof, both Romneys have shown so far on the campaign trail, I’m betting they felt right at home with the Donald et al.

  35. 35.

    redshirt

    A more accurate cake should have had the Romney’s riding serf on the horse with Ann looking on from the porch approvingly, a fresh mint julep in hand.

  37. 37.

    Dr.BDH

    It’s a depiction of Ann Romney riding through the clearcut Glacier National Park, renamed “Stumps of Mystery National Recreation Area” after Mitt’s election.

  38. 38.

    Nicole

    All the equestrian bashing is giving me a sad. Here is a nice video about one of the leading contenders for the Kentucky Derby.

    trackpackpa.com/union-rags/

    Also a wealthy owner, but she’s considerably harder to dislike.

  39. 39.

    gaz

    Meh. As if I didn’t already hate Amazon enough the sons of bitches scheduled a dumb webinar at 9:30am EST – a big F-U to all the west coasters.

    The sad part is, this webinar serves the singular purpose of making me hate Amazon more than I already do.

    Oh, and AWS sucks. Badly.

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    It is pretty damn telling that the Rmoneys seem to hang around with Trump socially. He is, as they say, a short fingered vulgarian, but somehow the Rmoneys seem not out of place near him.

    Agreed on the Melanoma thing…hilarious, and definitely Tbogg quality commentary.

  44. 44.

    Bruce S

    Being a tag-along shill for an equally creepy politician-husband is hard work. Mrs. Romney deserves more respect for her career choices. White House surrogate Betty Cracker’s distasteful cake comments should be the focus of several days of cable news talk so that “Leave Ted Nugent alone!” America’s women can reestablish their dignity.

  47. 47.

    scav

    @Schlemizel: Your plea for distinguishing the joys of marzipan from the horrors of fondant and your application the distinction to the situation made my morning. Massive thanks (I’m flashing red on pleasures).

  48. 48.

    Amir Khalid

    Hello? Is this thread still live? Hello? Anyway, here goes:

    I went through TIME’s 100 Most Influential List for 2012 and I am mystified. How on earth does TIME quantify influence? Some of the people listed have none outside their own field that I can imagine: fashion designers, molecular gastronomy chefs, athletes, a few current pop stars, and the like. The man who invented fracking, a poisonous and wasteful way to extract oil, gets a fluff piece attributed to James Inhofe. I came away thinking, “Is this some kind of joke?”

  49. 49.

    quannlace

    Will this be the new subject on the next ‘Food Network Challenge?’ Design a cake for the candidates wives.
    And really, the Cake Boss did this? I never watch his show, but this would be one reason to really avoid it.

  50. 50.

    Ken

    People, people. It’s not vulgar when Trump or the Romney’s do it, it’s avant garde. Same as the old joke about money making the difference between eccentric and insane.

  55. 55.

    Mike in NC

    @Amir Khalid:

    I went through TIME’s 100 Most Influential List for 2012 and I am mystified. How on earth does TIME quantify influence? Some of the people listed have none outside their own field that I can imagine: fashion designers, molecular gastronomy chefs, athletes, a few current pop stars, and the like. The man who invented fracking, a poisonous and wasteful way to extract oil, gets a fluff piece attributed to James Inhofe. I came away thinking, “Is this some kind of joke?”

    Long before there was FOX News, there was TIME magazine.

  56. 56.

    punkdavid

    I’m still open to the idea that Trump is a Democratic Obama supporter fifth column in the GOP. He almost uniformly does more harm than good to those Republicans he associates with.

  57. 57.

    rikryah

    BUT the President didn’t even say your name, Willard.

    how come you think he was talking about you?

    BWA HA HA HA HA AH HA

    don’t start none, won’t be none, Willard.

    like I said….all you’ve been up against is grifters and amateurs.

    NOBODY is playing with you at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

    …………………………………..

    Romney Responds To Obama’s ‘Silver Spoon’ Comment

    Appearing on Fox and Friends this morning, Mitt Romney responded to an implicit broadside from Obama yesterday, when the president said he ”wasn’t born with a silver spoon in [his] mouth.”

    “I’m certainly not going to apologize for my dad and his success in life,” Romney said. “He was born poor. He worked his way to become very successful despite the fact that he didn’t have a college degree and one of the things he wanted to do was provide for me and for my brother and sisters. I’m not going to apologize for my dad’s success. But I know the president likes to attack fellow Americans. He’s always looking for a scapegoat, particularly those that have been successful like my dad.”

    livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/romney-responds-to-obamas-silver-spoon-comment

  60. 60.

    Betty Cracker

    @rikryah: Despite the shit economy, I still have hope for the president’s reelection. Not because the American people are smart enough to see that a second Obama term would be better for 99% of them than a Willard presidency, although that is a fact. No, I have hope mostly because Willard is an awful, awful candidate.

  61. 61.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    ‘… lifelike equestrian cake’

    So that’s what the rich are calling a fresh pile of horse shit now?

    Sounds… ummm…. rich?

    The stumps symbolize the clearcutting of everything of value in our country to pay for that lady’s horse.

  63. 63.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    The Cake Boss dude, who constructed the monstrosity, chose to surround the horse and rider with stumps. Why?

    To a Republican, that’s how you ensure that all the trees are just the right height.

  64. 64.

    wrb

    The Vatican’s going to have to start burning some of these heretic nuns.

    Worked before, will work again.

    The Vatican has appointed an American bishop to rein in the largest and most influential group of Catholic nuns in the United States, saying that an investigation found that the group had “serious doctrinal problems.”
    The Vatican’s assessment, issued on Wednesday, said that members of the group, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, had challenged church teaching on homosexuality and the male-only priesthood, and promoted “radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith.”
    __
    The sisters were also reprimanded for making public statements that “disagree with or challenge the bishops, who are the church’s authentic teachers of faith and morals.” During the debate over the health care overhaul in 2010, American bishops came out in opposition to the health plan, but dozens of sisters, many of whom belong to the Leadership Conference, signed a statement supporting it — support that provided crucial cover for the Obama administration in the battle over health care.
    __
    The conference is an umbrella organization of women’s religious communities, and claims 1,500 members who represent 80 percent of the Catholic sisters in the United States. It was formed in 1956 at the Vatican’s request, and answers to the Vatican, said Sister Annmarie Sanders, the group’s communications director.

  66. 66.

    samara morgan

    @Nicole: we aren’t bashing riders, we are bashing Owners.
    Phyllis Wyeth would spit on Ann Romney. The Ebelings should have.

    should have had the Romney’s riding serf on the horse with Ann looking on

    Ebeling is Dutch, not dark-skinned.

  68. 68.

    Cris (without an H)

    The stumps are an homage to The Giving Tree. Turns out it’s actually a metaphor for Republican policies, taking from the commons for personal profit and showing it your ass.

  70. 70.

    Hewer of Wood, Drawer of Water

    @wrb: We can’t have people focussed on poverty and economic injustice, now can we. The ‘verdict’ was issued by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith – it’s former name was the “Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition“, and that the Pope himself was its prefect.

  71. 71.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @samara morgan: Not owners per se, but rather a particular type. Also, serfs != slave. Serfs were bound to the land. Slaves are/were owned by individuals.

  74. 74.

    gaz

    @wrb:

    The sisters were also reprimanded for making public statements that “disagree with or challenge the bishops, who are the church’s authentic teachers of faith and morals.

    they have a strange moral code. contraception=bad, raping kids=just don’t get caught.

  75. 75.

    Brachiator

    @samara morgan:

    since this is nominally an open thread I’m finding the veepstakes hilarious. latest magical thinking— Condoleeza Rice. lolwhut?

    It would be a mavericky move. A woman with no real experience as in politics outside of advisory and staff roles, who made seriously flawed foreign policy judgements, and who has been slammed as being ineffectual by Darth Chaney.

    Bring it on.

    @wrb:

    The Vatican’s going to have to start burning some of these heretic nuns.

    I just caught the headline reference to this on the radio this morning. Interesting to see the Catholic Church doubling down in the war on women.

    The sisters were also reprimanded for making public statements that “disagree with or challenge the bishops, who are the church’s authentic teachers of faith and morals.”

    Yeah, gotta have that submission to male authority.

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne

    I’m probably giving the Cake Boss too much credit when I assume that he is Not A Fan of the Romneys, but had a contractual obligation to make the cake for an episode of his show, so he made it as fugly as he could. Because I seriously have seen better-looking cakes on Cake Wrecks.

    Now, if you want a yummy cake in the Los Angeles area, the place you go is Porto’s. That’s our wedding cake from when we got married in 2006, and it still lives in myth and legend within the family.

  79. 79.

    Brachiator

    @gaz: RE: Yeah, gotta have that submission to male authority.

    Aww, I bet they say that to all the boys.

    To quote that line from the terrible Tim Burton remake of Planet of the Apes:

    On your knees!

  80. 80.

    Suffern ACE

    @Brachiator:The sisters operate multi-billion dollar healthcare systems. The pope needs fancy shoes and the dollars from tourists to the Vatican museums don’t go as far as they used to. The money has to come from somewhere.

  81. 81.

    Suffern ACE

    @Suffern ACE: I don’t know if the sisters will win this, but it will be interesting to see what the houses the CEOs of those health systems the bishops bring in to run them in place of the heretic nuns look like compared to former Sister CEO’s house.

  83. 83.

    Brachiator

    Agni of God

    It seems like only yesterday that the world breathed a small sigh of relief at the failure of North Korea’s long range missle launch. But now this:

    India has successfully launched a long-range intercontinental ballistic missile able to carry a nuclear warhead, officials say.
    __
    The Agni-V was launched from a site off India’s east coast and took about 20 minutes to hit its target somewhere near Indonesia in the Indian Ocean.
    __
    The missile has a range of more than 5,000km (3,100 miles), potentially bringing targets in China within range.
    __
    India said the launch was “flawless” and the missile had reached its target….
    __
    With this, India joins an elite nuclear club of China, Russia, France, the US and UK which already have long-range missiles, although with a much greater range. Israel is also thought to possess them.

    It’s just gotta complicate the crap out of everything that the world and diplomatic community is supposed to be so concerned that North Korea may achieve a nuclear missle capability, but is okey dokey with India having a similar capability. And even though India’s action is supposedly dick waving at China, you have to think that this will arouse the government of Pakistan to man up to achieve parity.

  84. 84.

    Roger Moore

    @gaz:

    they have a strange moral code. contraception=bad, raping kids=just don’t get caught

    More like “think for yourself = bad; obey even if the orders are illegal and immoral = good”. The Church is an authoritarian institution, pure and simple.

  85. 85.

    Roger Moore

    @Brachiator:

    It would be a mavericky move. A woman with no real experience as in politics outside of advisory and staff roles, who made seriously flawed foreign policy judgements, and who has been slammed as being ineffectual by Darth Chaney.

    Yeah, but she’s a black woman, so she’ll fill in two checkboxes for Mitt (R-Money). I’m sure women and blacks will only notice the gender and race of his running mate and ignore the racist, sexist policies he’s promising to enact.

  86. 86.

    Catsy

    The sisters were also reprimanded for making public statements that “disagree with or challenge the bishops, who are the church’s authentic teachers of faith and morals.”

    And this is why we keep telling people like burnsy that yes, they really do speak for you. If you don’t like that, you’re in the wrong church.

  87. 87.

    Joel

    I remember when that Cake Boss clown would compete on those ridiculous Food Netowrk competition shows, and he’d always get his ass handed to him.

  88. 88.

    ornery_curmudgeon

    So, golf is a salt-of-the-earth honest sport for the little people … and horses represent selfish, elite arrogance?

    Am I close to your point?

  90. 90.

    Brachiator

    @Roger Moore:

    Yeah, but she’s a black woman, so she’ll fill in two checkboxes for Mitt (R-Money). I’m sure women and blacks will only notice the gender and race of his running mate and ignore the racist, sexist policies he’s promising to enact.

    Although I don’t think it would ever happen, Condi’s selection as Veep would be very interesting from this perspective: a woman who has never been married, and who has no children as VP nominee, and presumbably a potential president.

    Of course, you have to ignore that stuff about Condi being Dubya’s secret second wife.

  92. 92.

    Roger Moore

    @Brachiator:

    Although I don’t think it would ever happen, Condi’s selection as Veep would be very interesting from this perspective: a woman who has never been married, and who has no children closeted lesbian as VP nominee, and presumbably a potential president.

    FTFY.

  93. 93.

    Brachiator

    @Roger Moore: I have no doubt that if anyone seriously contemplated Condi as a VP pick, that some advisor would question her about her sexual orientation.

    And I would love it if she was picked and came out of the closet.

    More seriously, though, Dubya had a couple of Vestal Vigin advisors, Condi and Harriet Miers. I never thought much, or cared, about their sex lives or sexual orientation; but I did find their fierce personal loyalty to Dubya to be very interesting.

  95. 95.

    Mnemosyne

    @ornery_curmudgeon:

    So, golf is a salt-of-the-earth honest sport for the little people … and paying professionals to ride your $100,000 horses represent selfish, elite arrogance?

    Fix’d. If you think the horses that Ann Romney owns, breeds, and shows bear any resemblance to the kind of horse you could ever dream of owning, you’ve lost your mind.

    Or, as I said the last time this came up, are we clearly insulting all car owners when we mock Mitt for installing a car elevator in his new house because parking your car in a carport and having a car elevator is exactly the same thing?

    ETA: To be even more clear, people aren’t mocking Ann Romney for having horses. We’re mocking Ann Romney because, like Marie Antoinette, she has established a little hobby farm where she can pretend to be one of the little people. And we mock people like you who actually fall for it.

  96. 96.

    samara morgan

    nomination for rotating tag line– do these five hundred dollar pikeur riding breeches make my ass look fat?

  97. 97.

    samara morgan

    @Mnemosyne:

    because, like Marie Antoinette, she has established a little hobby farm where she can pretend to be one of the little people

    and get a ginormous tax deduction against her hubby’s 21 million dollar a year income.

  98. 98.

    samara morgan

    @ornery_curmudgeon: look dude.
    One more time.
    Ann Romney isn’t a rider….she is an Owner.
    Ebeling rides the hot horses, the performance horses.
    She rides the bombproof horses that got gelded when they flunked their stallion test.

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