Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

So fucking stupid, and still doing a tremendous amount of damage.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

T R E 4 5 O N

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

He really is that stupid.

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By Means Of Introduction

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Hello, Juicers. (Or should I call you Loonies?)

Doug J has, in his menschness, asked me if I’d be willing to guest blog hereabouts in his absence. I have accepted the offer with all of the reserve and calm of Rush Limbaugh at a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises. Balloon Juice has long been one of my absolute favorite online haunts — in fact, I’ve been known to comment on a post here and there — and I still consider being on the blog roll one of my finer journalistic achievements. So, again, let me thank Mr. J and express what a thrill it is to share space with John, Anne, ABL, Freddie, Dennis, Sarah, and everyone else on the far-right of your screen.

I won’t saddle you with a bunch of my bio, but in the interest of providing some sense of who I am: I’m a 20something graduate of an Eastern liberal arts college nurturing a lifelong fascination with politics (in forms both highbrow and low) and a special interest in how economic inequality and questions of human dignity are changing America’s politics. Everything I write can be found at my personal blog; but I’ve also been something of the in-house liberal at The League for a bit more than a year now, freelance when I can, and tweet entirely too much. I hesitate to place myself anywhere on those axes that define the left-blogosphere (Obot vs. Firebagger, for example) but I will say that I voted for Obama in 2008 and, despite the abominable Electoral College rendering my vote all but meaningless, will probably do so again this November.

Most importantly, however, I am a roommate of one Calamity Jane

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and, when I visit the fam’, I am the slavish devotee of Mayzie (top) and Penny (bottom)

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Now with all that said, let’s get started!

Reader Interactions

53Comments

  2. 2.

    scav

    Hit all the correct intro points but were clearly going to need to squint a lot and read nametags for a bit. Huzzah for the manifest intellectualatude of Calamity Jane!

  4. 4.

    MTiffany

    I have accepted the offer with all of the reserve and calm of Rush Limbaugh at a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises.

    And here I was hoping you were going to write ‘with all the reserve and calm of Rush Limbaugh at the grand opening of a new south Florida “pain clinic.”‘ Which would explain the origin of his Hollywoood time machine conspiracy theory.

  5. 5.

    dr. bloor

    Welcome! The front page is starting to resemble the stateroom scene from A NightAt the Opera, but there’s always room for one more guy with an opinion and a menagerie.

  6. 6.

    Punchy

    and everyone else on the far-right of your screen.

    No you dumbass! This is a lefty blog!

  7. 7.

    Rafer Janders

    I’m a 20something graduate of an Eastern liberal arts college nurturing a lifelong fascination with politics (in forms both highbrow and low) and a special interest in how economic inequality and questions of human dignity are changing America’s politics.

    Ummm…have we dated?

  13. 13.

    Liberty60

    Welcome Elias- I’ve enjoyed your posts over at the League;

    You’ll note that the word “Gentlemen” appears nowhere here and we do our best to maintain that standard.

  14. 14.

    BGinCHI

    I like your name, Elias, and am amazed that Elias Esquith isn’t a poncy bank teller in either Bleak House or Martin Chuzzlewit.

  15. 15.

    shortstop

    @Rafer Janders: Not unless you’ve dated half of half the eastern seaboard. The other half of half realizes how ubiquitous the description really is and would focus it a little more.

  17. 17.

    Linda Featheringill

    Welcome, Elias. Hi to Calamity, and to the pups when you see them next.

  20. 20.

    BenjaminJB

    I’m in Texas, so my vote seems useless, but heck, I still want to see better numbers here for my choice.

    Also, I read the League occasionally, but some of those front-pagers there seem like textbook examples of rightwing idiocy. I mean, I like getting into discussions with libertarian Jason K. (iirc), but some of the others seem not as smart. How do you deal with that? Do you want to argue with them all the time? Do you discuss things to find out the differing presumptions/first principles? Do you ignore? What’s the proper response there?

  21. 21.

    pragmatism

    In before an anti-isquithian screed from matoko chan.
    Good to see you back here Elias.

  24. 24.

    MattR

    @BenjaminJB:

    I’m in Texas, so my vote seems useless, but heck, I still want to see better numbers here for my choice.

    I was originally gonna say that as long as you are not in a swing state, I have no problem voting third party. But I completely agree with this sentiment for those who are in red states. I don’t think there is any difference between Obama winning a blue state 65-35 or 60-35 with 5% to a third party. But I do think that Obama getting blown out in a red state by a margin of 65-30 with 5% voting third party would get media coverage.

  26. 26.

    Bighorn Ordovican Dolomite

    @pragmatism:

    Does she still show up? I was wondering if John hit her with a ban and made it permanent, or if perhpas she just got bored with the place.

  27. 27.

    Bighorn Ordovican Dolomite

    @pragmatism:

    Does she still show up? I was wondering if John hit her with a ban and made it permanent, or if perhpas she just got bored with the place.

  28. 28.

    MattR

    @Gin & Tonic: Shall we start calling you Abe Simpson?

    “Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.”

  29. 29.

    Gin & Tonic

    @MattR: I’m thinking more of the emperor (Frederick? Ferdinand?) in “Amadeus” saying “too many notes.”

  30. 30.

    Bob2

    LOOGIES NO!

    I have to admit that League has been slightly more tolerable of late compared to earlier incarnations when I visit.

  32. 32.

    Felinious Wench

    Darling, since no one has apprently greeted you with an appropriate salutation, welcome, Elias, and a hearty fuck you!

  34. 34.

    Ash Can

    Love the pets, hate the throw-my-vote-away idea. I’m as big a smartass as anyone else, but that’s just stupid. Or is it just that my snark detector is shot all to hell? (I would much prefer the latter.)

  35. 35.

    Upper West

    I’m a 20something graduate of an Eastern liberal arts college nurturing a lifelong fascination with politics

    Sorry, you don’t get to be a “lifelong” anything until you’re at least 35.

  37. 37.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Upper West: Yeah, between that and he’ll “probably” vote for Obama, I think I know what kind of drivel we’re in for.

    Oh, to be 20-something and a know-it-all again. Life was simpler then.

  38. 38.

    joes527

    I get it.

    DougJ is taking a “vacation” and will be replaced by a FDL-curious “guest blogger” for a while.

    Good one Doug.

  41. 41.

    Gin & Tonic

    @JGabriel: Bill Koch, the only US man ever to win an Olympic medal in cross-country skiing (Innsbruck, 1976), was born and raised in Vermont. After his medal he was being interviewed, and somebody asked him “Have you lived in Vermont all your life?” He answered “not yet.”

  43. 43.

    JustRuss

    OMG, Calamity Jane looks exactly like my bestest buddy Tasha, right down to the asymmetrical stripe on her nose and the I-can’t-believe-the-crap-I-put-up-with-from-you look in her eyes. Just lost her a week ago and I don’t when I’ll be ready for a new cat, so please post pics occasionally, I need a surrogate kitteh!

  45. 45.

    Gin & Tonic

    @muddy: Yeah, I know. Probably attributed to Coolidge, too. But I recall Koch saying it, as I followed his career pretty closely.

  49. 49.

    muddy

    @Gin & Tonic: I actually typed it out that way at first (theyah from heeyah)!

    It’s definitely more subtle here in Vermont, but up in the Northeast Kingdom or among old people, it can get pretty thick. It’s awful when they pretend to do it on radio ads though. Why can’t they hire someone with a real accent instead of a bad imitation? It’s cringeworthy.

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