Reader R sends in this bit on North Dakota’s stupid new law defining the beginning of life at conception:
“The problem was we could never get all the groups on the same page,” Bismarck Republican Sen. Margaret Sitte said.
Sitte introduced some of this year’s anti-abortion measures, including the “personhood” resolution. She said the idea came from her heart — with inspiration from former President Ronald Reagan and legal language lifted from an online encyclopedia.
“There was no grandiose plan,” Sitte said, adding that the template for the personhood resolution came from a quick web search. “It came from Wikipedia.”
Our reader seemed to think it was funny that she cribbed her law from Wikipedia, as channeled through the prophet Ronald, but I’m actually surprised that she used a source that won’t admit that Jesus rode dinosaurs. And there’s this:
Planned Parenthood was paid $623,000 in fees by South Dakota, resulting from two challenges to abortion laws over the last decade. This did not include the state’s own attorney hours and resources, according to Jennifer Aulwes, spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood of Minnesota, North Dakota and South Dakota.
The organization led the charge because it operates the state’s sole abortion provider in Sioux Falls, which would have been most affected.
Planned Parenthood also runs North Dakota’s only clinic that performs abortions, in Fargo. If North Dakota’s governor signs the bill, they will pocket some North Dakota oilfield cash as their attorneys bill every second it takes them to void the bastard child of a threeway between Wikipedia, Ronnie and Margaret Sitte’s cold, cold heart.
AuroraD
They only decided “Life Begins at Conception” because they’re too goddam Librul, just like the teabaggers say. If they were Real True Conservatives, they’d insist that Life Begins at Ejaculation. Humphhh.
JPL
@AuroraD: Save the s.p.e.r.m
New title might be the half of a personhood.
Violet
Where are the women legislators with bills outlawing mas tur ba tion by men because seed spilled? Every one of those is a precious potential child. There needs to be a new bill like that every week.
scav
For what it’s worth, “Conception” also means the forming of a plan, so at the limits, once a guy gets it in his head to form a child, it might be a violation of said child’s rights to interfere with the implantation of sperm into ova, womb and board. ‘spose it works for wimminz too, just a tad less problematic there. I’m sure corroborating evidence litters the innertubes.
quannlace
They used to call that ‘When you were just a twinkle in yor Father’s eye.”
YellowJournalism
Wikipedia?! Jesus, I know high school teacher who don’t allow Wikipedia as a serious source for term papers, and she used it to craft legislation?!
And why do I think she meant Conservapedia?
West of the Rockies
I was listening to NPR’s Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me yesterday; some fellow called in from South Dakota and wanted nothing more than to return home (with his husband) to San Francisco. I feel sorry for people who live in a flamingly red state or district. My California county is purplish-red (maybe it oughta see a doctor about that!), and it’s pretty disheartening sometimes. Gotta feel for our liberal siblings in North Dakota.
scav
@quannlace: Twinkle’s Rights!
Mustang Bobby
So where is North Dakota going to come up with the dough to pay for the inevitable lawsuits that will go all the way to the Supreme Court? Raise taxes on condoms?
Ruckus
cold, cold heart.
Your way sounds like there might be an ability to warm it up and get it restarted. IANAD but I think that the patient flat lined years ago.
? Martin
@YellowJournalism:
My daughter is forbidden in elementary school from using Wikipedia as a source.
And yes, democracies can be trying experiences. Alas, office of legal councils do exist. Pity ND seems to be unaware of them.
Mike G
For conservatards zygote fetishism is like bombing brown people overseas, they’re willing to pay any price (of taxpayers’ money), and impose any burden on others, because Jeebus and shut up, that’s why.
Maude
@? Martin:
Wikipedia can be inaccurate. It can help with information, but not as the whole source.
? Martin
@Maude: It’s actually forbidden because it prevents kids from learning how to do research, how to find dissenting views. 45 kids all turning in the same paper from the same source isn’t beneficial to anyone.
SatanicPanic
@YellowJournalism: sperm meets egg is way too sciencey for Conservapedia. They probably define contraception as something to do with Jesus and a stork arriving
Anoniminous
Life in Teahardist Fundamentalistan.
Sitte thinks she is doing God’s Will so she’ll never quit shoving her religion into the Public Sphere.
Todd
I’m noticing that there are now some squeals popping out over the “clump of cells” arguments to the “personhood at conception” bills. That squealing means that you are scoring hits.
Does this mean that we’re finally going to start seeing smart messaging from choice activists? After 40 years of exclusionary failure?
Another hint to choice advocates – start talking about the liberty to make intimate medical decisions about your person without mindless interference from governments run by religious conservatives. Get them to start laughing about penumbras of privacy again.
Todd
@Anoniminous:
Fucking Romans clearly overfed their lions – goddamn things were lazier than Tunch.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@AuroraD:
No way because those wankers would be charged every time Paul Ryan presented a new budget or when Sarah Palin appeared doing anything.
dmsilev
(a) we should be thankful, I suppose, that she’s sourcing things from Wikipedia instead of Conservapedia.
(b) This bit:
makes me wonder how long it will be before conservatives start seeing Reagan’s visage on pieces of toast and the like.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@Anoniminous:
Not to mention the Pubic Sphere.
YellowJournalism
@dmsilev: Most likely they’d find it in the mildew on the shower stall.
Baud
Life begins when you leave North Dakota.
dmsilev
@YellowJournalism: A smear of ketchup would be appropriate, I think. Either that, or a jelly bean.
JPL
@dmsilev: Many, many years from now, they will be praising W’s economic sense. They live in an upside down world.
Todd
OT – Go Temple!
Stooleo
Miscarriages are now illegal ND. Wow. I wonder if some intrepid journalist thought to ask Mrs Sitte if she may had ever had the misfortune of having a miscarriage and if she would turn herself in for involuntary manslaughter.
MattF
I spent a couple of years in Minnesota, and the only thing I ever heard anyone say about North Dakota was that it was the source of a form of precipitation known as ‘snirt’– snow mixed with dirt.
MikeJ
I have submitted a bill to the Washington legislature stating that we recognize that life begins at the hop.
Todd
@dmsilev:
Y’know, it occurs to me that we had a chance in the mid 70s (prior to the ascent of movement conservatism). Population control, rational land use planning, alternative energy research, a cutback of mindless wastes of space and energy, public transit and infrastructure improvements were all ready to go.
Then we got Falwell, and Schlafly, and Reagan, and Viguerie, and Scaife, and Ahmanson, and DeVos, and the Kochs, and the Hunts, and the Waltons, and Cheney, and the Bushes, fucking everything up for everybody.
dmsilev
And speaking of Conservapedia, a dKos diarist turned up yet another hilarious article over there. This one is about E=mc^2.
Apparently, as someone who has taught freshman physics (including relativity), I’m part of the liberal conspiracy to ….um …err …I guess sap and impurify the precious bodily fluids of innocent conservatives. Or something.
The whole article is filled with hilarity, but I have to pick this as my favorite:
Nature, of course, is one of the top two science journals in the world. Not just physics, but everything.
Baud
@dmsilev:
If that were true, it would be named God.
raven
@Todd: No shit.
MattF
@dmsilev: Don’t forget Biblical Scientific Foreknowledge:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Biblical_Scientific_Foreknowledge
which includes gems like:
” …The Bible contains many hints in support of set theory, as in the “last shall be first, and the first shall be last.” ”
I had no idea, personally.
Todd
@dmsilev:
Obama has failed me in my multiple requests to run a FEMA reeducation camp for the reconditioning of white Christian conservatives. I even offered to do it for free, and promised try to keep the accidental death rate relatively low..
Todd
@raven:
Pretty exciting.
Todd
That’s a bullshit call.
WereBear
@dmsilev: How typical. That equation can evoke great awe; and they are oblivious to it.
As I always say, if you cannot comprehend the Divine, you will shrink it to a size where you can.
dmsilev
@Todd: Well, I’m doing my part to brainwash those poor impressionable conservative youth about the joys of Godless science(*); hopefully that will help some.
(*) In all seriousness, I know quite a few scientists who are religious, some deeply so, and it somehow manages to work out ok.
Baud
@MattF:
Why didn’t the bible just give us set theory? That would have been a useful thing to know.
Goddamn God.
raven
Damn Hoosiers.
indycat32
@efgoldman: there’s always Florida Gulf Coast.
GO HOOSIERS!!
catclub
@Mustang Bobby: This reminds me of all the NRA statements demanding that taxes on guns be raised, to help pay for better mental health screening, and better background checks.
catclub
@Baud: “The footbone’s connected to the anklebone… shinbone,… thighbone… hipbone… now hear the word of the Lord.”
Doesn’t mention if they are simply connected.
minutemaid
Yawn, mistermix flatulating on about fucking NOTHING. They can say whatever they wan’t in N Dakota. It’s not like any of it is going to stand up to a court challenge or that it’s some sort of unstoppable trend. But whatever, feel free to wave your arms about making loud fart sounds and saying the sky is falling.
West of the Rockies
@minutemaid: All that must is required for evil to prevail is for good men (and women) to do nothing.
Yutsano
@minutemaid: Herp de Durf.
@West of the Rockies: That would be Durf’s specialty.
minutemaid
@West of the Rockies What does that quote have to do with this?
Republican fuckheads are not evil. They are just fearful morons that lack critical thinking skills and are all messed up on god.
Snarla
I’m not understanding why nobody has ever explained ectopic pregnancies to these lawmakers.
West of the Rockies
@minutemaid: Well, first, I screwed up the quote: it helps to proofread! “All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men (and women) to do nothing,” is how it should have read.
The point I was making (or trying to make) is that I think it is important for us to be aware of nonsense going on in distant places and to respond to it. Yeah, a bunch of blog readers all snarling in fury is pretty meaningless, but perhaps becoming aware of what’s going on in North Dakota will inspire a few readers to write their congress-(wo)men and not just stand idly by while the right-wingers slowly take over the country.
I agree with you: not all Republicans are evil. My late parents were both pretty conservative. They were generous, kind people and good parents. They also happened to be politically under-informed. I think we are not making progress when we see the other side as wholely evil, stupid, corrupt, etc. Nor should we assume that “our side” has a lock on all things good, wise and true. We don’t. They don’t. There are wretched people in both parties. I just happen to think that the republican party — as a political force — is causing far more damage and destruction with their anti-science, anti-secular world view. Here’s another way to express what I was thinking (using another quote):
First they came for the communists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.
Then they came for the socialists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me.
I think we can’t just turn a blind eye to what’s going on in North Dakota.
PurpleGirl
@? Martin: When one niece was in high school (a pricey private Catholic HS, not a diocesen school) I was appalled that a report she had to write on Shakespeare had to have three (3) secondary source quotes but no direct quotes from old William. And reading the play (poem) was also not required — just three secondary sources.
pseudonymous in nc
@YellowJournalism:
Never underestimate the stupidity of state legislators.
My guess is that they actually got it faxed over from Americans United for Life in DC.
Librarian
Bismarck is spinning in his grave because of these idiots who are now running the city named for him.
reality-based
um – as a long-time BJ commenter, returned to my home state of NoDak in 08 after 20 years in CA (aging parent issues.) – can I offer a few points?
1. Planned Parenthood does not, in fact, run the Red River women’s clinic in Fargo – the only abortion provider in the state.
2. Yes, we got lots of yahoos. (lots more when you get west of the Missouri – the Eastern part looks more like MN, kinda-bluish-purple. )
3. We also have lots of non-yahoos. Read the letters to the editor in the Grand Forks Herald, inveighing against this nonsense.
4. Heidi! OK, a Blue-Dog – but still, a Dem.
5. Going to the Pro-choice rally in GF tomorrow, myself.
And yes, it sucks to be a Democrat and a sensible human being in a LOT of places. (Anybody been to Kansas lately?)
But even here, we CAN overcome. See, this is Why I am a perennial fan of Dr. Dean – Howard understood that you don’t just abandon North and South Dakota and their ilk- you invest a little money, a few resources, and never, ever, give up.
fuckwit
If life begins at conception, then menstruation is murder.
I would like to see whether they intend on prosecuting.
blondie
@fuckwit: They’d have to prosecute God. Zoiks!