Via Whiskey Fire, I found a link to a boring old harrumph from boring old Colonel Mustard (see DijonGate) expressing outrage at the prospect of highly educated artsy-fartsy types getting free health insurance under ObamaCare instead of pursuing a soul-crushing professoriate or dying a painful, lonely death from a preventable disease in a rundown artist garret. As God intended.
The Colonel manages to work Nancy Pelosi and struggling rock musicians into his plaint about being forced to subsidize shiftless painters and textile artists — pretty standard “are there no workhouses” fare. But the real fun begins in the comments section, which starts with a complaint about “low achievers” killing the work ethic, until a self-styled member of that demographic pipes up:
Hey now! I’m a low achiever (never had much ambition), but I’m SELF-RELIANT low achiever. I ask no one to support my lifestyle but myself.
The glory of it all, is that I am civil disobedient, not enrolling, even though I would probably qualify even more than those “artists”. I draw comic characters as a hobby, and I drink Lattes. OMG, How many liberal minds just burst from the fact that I’m a tea party conservative?
Dollars to donuts the layabout cartoonist is as independent of government largesse as a fellow tea partier on a Medicare-subsized mobility scooter. And while his words seemed calculated to endear him to Colonel Mustard’s audience, the ruffian blew it by supplying a link to one of his impure doodlings to support his bona fides as an artiste. Well! That prompted a passing preacher to involuntarily become engorged, and the offended shaman dressed the cartoonist down thusly:
I’m not trying to be a jerk, but when you put down a link to something, you may want to let people know that they are about to be linked to illustrations of naked women with erect nipples, simply out of courtesy. I’m a celibate clergyman, and I try very hard not to entertain thoughts or images of naked women, especially if they look like the one that greeted me upon linking. When one tries to quiet the mind for prayer, often the day’s most memorable events, images, sounds, etc., try to pry in and disrupt one’s focus. It also helps to avoid temptation, if such images are not before my eyes and in my head. I know that many other men try to keep their virtue intact, not just clergy. The less we see of naked women, the better.
For those of you who haven’t already scurried over to Casa de Mustard to check out the titillating cartoon for yourselves, allow me to assure you that it’s a pretty harmless Catwoman knock-off. Catwoman with high-beams, mind you, but hardly a buck-nekkid siren to lure the preacher man into the pits of hell. You’ll see more salacious ads at the mall. Duh, stay off the internet, Padre!
Anyhoo, there’s no real point to this post other than pointing and laughing, so feel free to treat it as an open thread. Or take the high road and discuss whether or not destitute PhDs who pursue a career in pottery should receive subsidized medical benefits up front or just go to the hospital as uninsured ER patients and jack up medical costs for us all on the back-end.
[X-posted at Rumproast]
Belafon
I don’t think Atlas Shrugged would have been nearly as good if Rand had not hated herself for taking Social Security disability. Might have been less forced sex in the book.
Alexandra
Turned 50 the other day. Yikes. Bit freaky. The only snail mail I received that day was junk mail from an insurance provider who ominously warned that I should now take out life insurance.
Origuy
I was trying to use Walmart’s web site (yeah, I know) to find some shelves for a narrow corner of my room, after the ones I’d built out of those wire mesh squares collapsed on me. I could get as far as a page showing a dozen or so, but every time I clicked on a particular one, I got an error with a cryptic code, probably from the database server. I thought that didn’t happen in the private sector?
Anyway, I finally got through, but the ones they have are crap. Target looks to have something better.
Origuy
@Alexandra: AARP will be along any day now, if they aren’t already. Happy Birthday!
piratedan
young Conor takes projection to a new level….
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/11/the-surveillance-state-puts-us-elections-at-risk-of-manipulation/281232/
Hey, we’re just asking questions here….
word to Conor…. you had a shitty candidate who self imploded on the record on media, no ratfucking was necessary to get Millionaire Mitt to drop his mask and jostle his lovely wife Ann’s tiara….
you want to project Nixonite character traits onto this President, then I think that you’re simply an asshole….
Botsplainer
Yesterday, I declared “Take Your Dog to Work” Day.
This was how well behaved he was.
http://i.imgur.com/6b5Hq2P.jpg
ranchandsyrup
@piratedan: It is irresponsible not to speculate that young Conor is sleeping with Nooners and aping her techniques. It’s out there, now we can all talk about it as if it is true.
BGinCHI
Shorter clergy dude:
Shut up dick!
No, not you. The other one!
Alexandra
@Origuy:
Don’t have AARP over here in the UK, although we have a thing called Saga. They don’t hunt you down, though, and send you a card. All the fifty-plus organisations that I’ve looked into make me feel old, like really old. Not quite ready for slippers yet.
srv
Because of Obama, I’ve decided to stick with my failed underwater basketweaving hobby and suck up all the welfare services I can get.
Marc
I’m sure this talented artist will continue to support himself when he goes to the emergency room for his medical care.
gogol's wife
Repeating from last thread — everyone who has a Balloon Juice calendar should look at the excellent (if saddening) picture of Tunch that graces the page for November.
Gravenstone
@Origuy: AARP actually started trying to tempt me while I was still a naif of 49.
Am I the only one who suspected the “artist” in the above snippet to turn out to be the clown that does Mallard Filmore?
Fred
The more we see of nekid wimins the better! Even comicbook nubile flesh. So I tried to run down the link but was so excited at the prospect I couldn’t concentrate.
It’s tough being a computer illiterate dirty old man.
schrodinger's cat
@Botsplainer: Aaww he is a cutie!
Wily Jalapeño
@Betty Cracker, top:
…a soul-crushing professoriate…
Hey now! Spirit-sapping perhaps. But soul-crushing? Lady, you go too far.
kc
Now that dude is going to be envisioning hot naked cartoon women with erect nipples FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.
Lurking Canadian
@Marc: no, no, no, true artists starve to death in a cold garret in a cloud of absinthe fumes. Anything else marks a poseur and a sellout.
schrodinger's cat
When you said Col. Mustard, I thought Tunch was blogging from the great beyond. BTW did Cole ever find the mustard?
Lurking Canadian
Also, the only thing that pisses me off worse than a conservative comic-book pron artist who drinks lattes is a comic-book pron artist who shotguns bleach straight from the bottle. Can’t stand those guys.
Mnemosyne
@Origuy:
Don’t buy Target furniture! It sucks ass. It’s okay if you get a non-Target brand there (like Rubbermaid or Closet Maid), but the Target-branded stuff is horrible. I’ve had good luck with Ikea and with Office Depot’s Realspace brand. Also World Market.
schrodinger's cat
@Origuy: You should also check out estate sales, good furniture and great prices, plus no assembly. Check your local Craigslist.
Frankensteinbeck
The hate that drives these people. I swear. Who cares if anyone gets something they didn’t earn, as long as everyone gets what they did earn? The odds of many people choosing not to work and just letting the government support them seems low, since the rich people who actually can do this have demonstrated that working harder to get a little more is a standard human motivation. But you know what? Even if people do mooch, who cares? Why is this one thousandth as important as everyone’s needs being met?
fuckwit
@kc: Erect nipples always brighten my day.
Padre needs to lighten up, Francis.
fuckwit
@Frankensteinbeck:
That’s not OK! The only way it’s OK to choose not to work is if your idle time is filled with dressage riding and trips to Ibizia, and it’s your granddaddy’s inherited wealth that’s supporting you, not the gummint.
Remember: food stamps are BAAAAD… the “death tax” is BAAAADD. Welfare is only for the rich.
Gin & Tonic
I never understand the finer points of doctrine. If someone similarly unconstrained by patriarchal social mores as self-reliant low-achiever, but with higher motivation, moves in next door and decides that his personal path to riches lies in slaughtering and rendering swine (recognizing that zoning laws are a tool of collectivist oppression) then how self-reliant does Our Hero remain?
scav
There seems to be an opportunity here for a Christianist-friendly Truth-in-Packaging Tee-shirts line: “May Contain Erect Nipples”. Offered in Women’s, Mens’, and Children’s sizes to cater to all clerical needs (burqa versions in prototype). Line-drawn DC-Marvel Advertising, bien sûr.
Higgs Boson's Mate (Crystal Set)
T&H went T&A?
Jockey Full of Malbec
Funny how so many of these self-reliant, stand-tall independent He-Men derive so much of their identity from others….
Fred
All my life, when I told people I was an artist they would ask, “But how do you make a living?” I’ve even been asked that question by someone buying my art. ‘Artist’ (contrary to popular opinion) is a job description. Most of us don’t get rich but it is a living.
The life is good but the disrespect does chafe a bit.
p.s. The view from my country house by the lake is spectacular. Suffer wage slaves.
Amir Khalid
I stumbled upon this video of Matthew Lewis (who played chubby little nebbish Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone, and a tall, lean and heroic Neville in Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows parts one and two) playing a game called Innuendo Bingo on a BBC radio show. Don’t be drinking anything while you watch it.
ruemara
@Alexandra: Haapi Birfday!
I am anxiously awaiting friends I invited for luncheon (who are, sadly, unreliable flakes) and my new kindle, so I can read books to read just in case I become homeless. Not sure how to handle all my tech books tho.
TaMara (BHF)
@Botsplainer: He’s gotten so big!
ETA: And handsome, of course!
Betty Cracker
@Amir Khalid: Thank you for that, Mr. President. That Neville Longbottom grew up to be as cute as a button, didn’t he? He’s a beacon of hope to schlumpy children worldwide!
TaMara (BHF)
I’m waiting for the hours to pass when I can go pick up my cat from the vet. He’s stabilized enough to come home, but no real idea why he was hours from death just yesterday…
I am awash in a mix of emotions.
boatboy_srq
The supposedly-celibate-religious person’s response falls right into the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice model that the Reichwing would inflict on the entire planet (less the unGawdly IslamoFascoSoshulist burkhas, of course). Because modesty amongst the wimminvolk is far more important than self-control amongst the he-menvolk. Newsflash, Mr. Preacher: you do a pretty good job of being a jerk without trying.
@Marc: Following the Teahadist model for treating injury/illness:
1) Go to ER.
2) Declare bankruptcy.
3) ???
4) PROFIT!
Betty Cracker
@TaMara (BHF): I’m sorry to hear that he had such a close call but glad he’s well enough to come home.
schrodinger's cat
@TaMara (BHF): What happened to your kitteh? I has been sick and away from the intertoobz the last few day so I probably missed it.
The Fat Kate Middleton
My son and his SO are adopting an african gray parrot. The original owner – with whom the parrot has lived for eighteen years – has had to move to a care center. Son and SO live in a very small house, and while looking forward to the new family member, are also apprehensive. His owner says he’s a very mellow little guy who likes women best. Has anyone here had experience with these? I’m really looking forward to meeting the little guy.
Amir Khalid
@The Fat Kate Middleton:
I read Alex and Me, about the world’s most famous African Gray parrot. His human, Dr Irene Pepperberg, said you can’t leave them home alone all day when you go to work — they’re like smart human pre-schoolers, and they really need the social interaction.
Suffern ACE
@boatboy_srq:
Following the Teahadist model for treating injury/illness:
1) Go to ER.
2) Declare bankruptcy.
3) ???
4) PROFIT!
You’re missing the part where they suddenly realize that thanks to the revised bankruptcy laws from GWB, 3) is not ???, but instead is 3) “Realize that the bills won’t just go away that way.” 4 then becomes “Blame Obama”
Steeplejack
Phrasing! I got a mental image of courteous nipples, or maybe of the women being courteous in their display. Weird.
Anyway, here’s the (NSFW) picture in question, which raises the usual spicy-comic questions. The woman appears to be nude, but her body is purple and her face is flesh-toned, which seems to indicate a costume, but then there’s the Clooney Batman Paradox of the anatomically correct nipply costume.
Somehow it all reminds me of a classic Onion story: “New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering of Smaller Breasts.”
drkrick
And the naked women say, AMEN!
Betty Cracker
@The Fat Kate Middleton: We have friends who inherited an AG — the bird is a riot! He does a hilarious, spot-on imitation of one of his owners and can mimic a ringtone so precisely that he has everyone trying to answer phones that haven’t rung.
the Conster
@The Fat Kate Middleton:
They’re very very smart, and social. I had an Amazon green parrot, and he wouldn’t let me talk on the phone in front of him because I wasn’t talking to him so he screamed. A screaming parrot is not to be ignored. Also he wanted to be on me all the time which just isn’t all that fun. When I wanted to get him off of me and he didn’t want to go, he clutched onto the exact middle of my back – basically where the bra closure is where I couldn’t really reach – and hung on until I gave up trying to get him. He ripped all the earrings out of my ears and insisted on walking back and forth along the shower rod while I took a shower. He nibbled the plastic shower liner right down to the holes where the shower curtain rods held it up, until it fell off one time. He terrorized the dog, and had a fairly large vocabulary and mimicked my laugh so when he said something funny I’d laugh, then he’d laugh and then I’d laugh harder until it got absurd. They’re amazing creatures.
The Fat Kate Middleton
@Amir Khalid: Yes, I just finished watching a Nova video on Alex and Dr. Pepperberg. And I’m worried about him being home alone during the day. My son lives fairly close to us, and I’m retired, so maybe I’ll have to make regular visits during the day.
Amir Khalid
@Steeplejack:
It looks like the artist got carried away and “forgot” that purple tights don’t look like a naked body painted purple.
the Conster
@Betty Cracker:
I stayed in a B&B this summer that had an African grey that mimicked all of the owner’s iPhone sounds. He made the exact sound as the iPhone reminder chime. Hilarious, to a point.
TaMara (BHF)
@schrodinger’s cat: This weekend he was eating very little, drinking a lot, and quit grooming himself. By Tuesday he stopped eating and when I took him into the vet, he was down a full pound and a half, severely dehydrated, his blood sugars were through the roof and his red blood count was low. It happened so fast and the vet can’t put all the symptoms together with anything that makes sense.
He’s re-hydrated, they’ve got his insulin back to normal and they want to wait a week to retest his red blood count.
They want me to use insulin on him daily…but I’m not convinced that wasn’t just a symptom of something else. So they’ll retest that next week, too.
$800+ later – no idea what just happened…. but so grateful he gets to come home today. We’ll take the next steps as they come.
The Fat Kate Middleton
@the Conster:
What a bossy, demanding little thing! That’s so funny. I’m not too worried about our guy … as I said, owner claims he’s an exceptionally mellow bird. But he’s been all by himself while owner relocates to his new living quarters, so son is worried about what that might have done to him.
Steeplejack
@piratedan:
Wow, that piece was like one long Cavuto mark.
JasperL
@Marc:
and:
Exactly right. I’ll bet it never occurs to him that by being uninsured, he’s already a freeloader. If he gets hurt, he’ll get treated because the government says the hospital MUST treat him, and everyone else covers his treatment. And maybe he’ll go bankrupt because of medical expenses, and leave a string of bills that others will pay through higher prices, or lower profits for the Job Creators who performed valuable services that they won’t get paid for, etc. So we (the public) WILL pay for his catastrophic healthcare policy, only he’s too stupid to see that.
The other thing idiot right wingers don’t seem to get is the same factors that allow that couple to be starving artists ALSO allow entrepreneurs to leave their corporate hellholes and start their own business, and often fail, without also risking the health and lives of themselves and their families. The ACA will be a HUGE benefit to the millions stuck in jobs they cannot leave because of healthcare considerations.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet
Madam Cracker, that was some fine point-‘n’-laugh snark. Thanks for the giggles!
Lee
I whole heartedly disagree with this statement.
catclub
@BGinCHI: I immediately assumed the clergyman post was a sly way (and posted by the catwoman cartoonist) to ramp up traffic to see catwoman. In any event, it did.
Steeplejack
@Amir Khalid:
That’s the essence of the Clooney
BatmanBatsuit Paradox: why must my armored exoskeleton have nipples and washboard abs?And, in general, female superhero costumes always seem like exactly the opposite of the kind of clothes you would pick to fight supervillains, survive explosions, perform complicated physical stunts, etc. It’s a bit of a mystery, really.
Cris (without an H)
Well, let’s see, you’re heh-indeed commenting on Bill Jacobson’s site, so looks like “zero.”
boatboy_srq
@Suffern ACE: If they haven’t thought through what will happen to them when they fall ill/injured, then they haven’t figured out that Chapter 7 won’t cure all their financial woes, either. And “Blame Obama” is default for any condition they encounter that’s less than idyllic so it’s assumed. Though I do see your point.
Mnemosyne
@Steeplejack:
I’m assuming the idea is that the super villains would all be heterosexual and therefore be distracted by the pneumatic boobs on display, leading to victory for the superheroine. Or comic book artists like drawing really big boobs.
schrodinger's cat
@Mnemosyne:
Not just comic book artists, have you seen the women in the Indian temple sculptures of about 1000 years ago, different medium, same result.
schrodinger's cat
@TaMara (BHF): Good luck, it is hard to see them sick and miserable.
catclub
@Botsplainer: What a good doggie.
Frankensteinbeck
@Amir Khalid:
Haven’t you changed your nym to Amir Khalid (POTUS) yet?
@Mnemosyne:
Conventional wisdom for a long time has been that the audience for comic books is teenage boys. Comic companies hired artists and writers that produced what they thought teenage boys would want. The artists and writers best at it had very puerile mentalities and attitudes towards women. They attracted the kind of teen boys who like Rob Liebfeld art. Allow to simmer for twenty years, and the industry as a whole has a problem, yes.
And this from someone who likes wildly impractical fantasy girl armor.
cckids
@Higgs Boson’s Mate (Crystal Set): That was my first thought as well. Though I admit I didn’t click through; erect nipples just don’t do much for me.
Amir Khalid
@Frankensteinbeck:
Like I told
MichelleBianca, I’m going to wait for this absurd speculation about my identity to blow over.It’s not just comic books, man. There’s plenty of big bewbies in the Indian temple sculptures and paintings Schrodinger’s cat mentions, there’s fertility goddesses and such from all over the world, and centuries of European religious and secular art, and … the list is endless, I tells ya.
Yatsuno
@Origuy: Or the British equivaent, seeing as she is a citizen of the British crown.
Mnemosyne
@schrodinger’s cat:
@Amir Khalid:
Western European art tends to go the other direction, actually. Can’t link to anything since I’m at work, but Botticcelli etc. generally depicted boobies on the smallish side (think of his famous painting of Venus).
Frankensteinbeck
@Amir Khalid:
Oh, I’m aware. While I’m definitely not an expert, I am at least aware of the history of Hindu sects that considered sexual passion a virtue, similar themes in pre-Judeo-Christian Middle Eastern religions, and big breasts being a popular beauty element in most (but not all) cultures and periods.
American mainstream comic books have gone way beyond that. Way, way beyond that. Google Rob Liefeld. I could point you to specific sites, but I think googling him makes the point even better.
Mnemosyne
@Frankensteinbeck:
Yeah, we don’t mean boobies in general, just the super-duper oversized ones featured in comic books and similar art.
It’s the difference between Hey, look, boobies! and Man, she must have a backache every frickin’ day!
ETA: And the ones featured in fertility art usually include a butt, belly, and arms to match, unlike comic book art, where the rest of the body verges on anorexia.
Mike in NC
Probably not an issue with this clown.
schrodinger's cat
@Frankensteinbeck: That was a long time ago. Current Indian attitudes and sensibilities tend to be more Victorian.
Xantar
For any interested Marylanders, I’m live tweeting the Maryland attorney general candidate forum. Look for #MDAGforum.
Patricia Kayden
I’m dying of laughter after reading this post. Betty, this has got to be a joke. That Pastor’s letter is too funny! Imagine innocently going to a link and seeing naked women with erect nipples!! The horror.
Jebediah, RBG
@Botsplainer:
Lookit the sweetie!
I loved it when I was able to take Otto to work.
Patricia Kayden
@The Fat Kate Middleton: I have an African grey parrot (my second). They’re adorable. My girl, Sophie, has a bit of an attitude and only lets me hold her. She talks when she wants to and gives the Boxer and Boxer/Dane dogs attitude if they get too close. I highly recommend parrots as pets.
Patricia Kayden
@The Fat Kate Middleton: I bought two budgies to keep Sophie company while I’m out.
Jebediah, RBG
@Jebediah, RBG:
Here he is guarding a place I used to work.
Frankensteinbeck
@schrodinger’s cat:
Yes, but Amir is referring to the temples of that period and sect of Hinduism, isn’t he? That was my interpretation.
Amir Khalid
@Frankensteinbeck:
I was, but Schrodinger’s cat is right: nowadays people of Indian heritage (to judge by Indian-Malaysians, anyway) are often really prudish.
schrodinger's cat
@Amir Khalid: So are most Indians or people of Indian origin I know whether in the US or India. Of course in a country and diaspora of more than a billion there are bound to be many exceptions to the rule as well.
The Other Chuck
If you, like me, read the blockquotes first and wondered what the phrase was to describe your reaction, permit me to guess at yours:
Poe’s Law.
amirite?
The Fat Kate Middleton
@Patricia Kayden: I really like that idea … and my son loves budgies. Grew up with them.