I’ve got some sort of stomach bug, and I spent most of last night puking. God, I hate puking. (I’m aware that it’s no one’s favorite sport, of course.) Novelist Walker Percy once wrote:
There is one sure cure for cosmic explorations, grandiose ideas about God, man, death, suicide, and such – and that is nausea. I defy a man afflicted with nausea to give a single thought to these vast subjects. A nauseated man is a sober man. A nauseated man is a disinterested man.
So true. This morning, when I was wanly attempting to keep down a glass of water, one of my boxer dogs approached and upchucked on the rug at my feet. I think it was an attempt to express sympathy, but I can’t say I appreciated another pile of vomit to clear away.
Please feel free to discuss much more pleasant topics or whatever.
Bill B
Is the vomiting pumpkin carved to be a “love doll”?
And there’s a sentence I never thought I’d live to type.
rikyrah
Get Better Betty
AliceBlue
My sincerest sympathies Betty. God, I’d rather have a root canal than a stomach bug.
Elizabelle
Poor Betty. Hope you’re feeling spiffy and back to creating wine foil art soonest.
Bad head cold here; nothing like nausea, which gets one’s attention.
Pogonip
Is the dog still on restricted wagging?
BGinCHI
Feel better, Betty.
No raw oysters for at least a day.
Haydnseek
A much-loved professor of contemporary American fiction at Giant State University (Long Beach State in LA county for the curious) assigned Percy’s novel “The Moviegoer” to a class that, while as well-read as you can be when you’re twenty years old, had no idea of who he was. I certainly didn’t. That novel is so good that I send it to the people I love just because. When I drove across Lake Ponchartrain to New Orleans he came to mind at precisely the right time. I’m sixty-three years old now, and his words still live with me.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
They put me on antibiotics for my bad tooth (which I’m probably going to end up losing), so I’m in the same boat. Antibiotics always make me nauseous, unless they give me diarrhea. Fun!
I wasn’t able to find the refrigerated probiotics that a couple of people recommended, so I ended up buying some that were recommended by a co-worker, plus some kefir for some additional happy bacteria. We’ll see if it helps.
Litlebritdifrnt
If it makes you feel any better Betty Billy Connelly used to do an absolutely hilarious routine about vomiting when drunk and there always being “tomato skins and carrots in it and I’ve never eaten tomatoes or carrots in my life!” He speculated that there is a guy that follows drunk people around with pockets full of tomato skins and carrots which he then casually throws on the ground. It was brilliant. Unfortunately I can’t find it on youtube.
BGinCHI
@Haydnseek: I taught it in an MA class last year and they loved it. It has such great voice.
jl
Thanks for vomiting pumpkin pic.
I remember walking down local highways and byways at Halloween and passing a few blocks where vomiting pumpkins were all the rage. Some were done quite well, at least if we are talking drunken vomiting. Afterwards it occurred to me that was a local college student neighborhood. Not sure how much of a coincidence that was.
raven
We watched the doc on John Milius last night. Worth a gander no matter how you feel about him.
kc
Sorry, Betty. Hope you feel better soon.
Violet
So sorry you’re sick. Once the acute phase is over, try taking a bunch of antibiotics. I’ve seen it help quite a few people now in their recovery from gastrointestinal illnesses. Probiotics can work pretty fast. Take one or two, then a few hours later, take another, and keep on doing that for a day or so. Helps repopulate your gut with the good bacteria. The good bacteria begins to outnumber the bad bacteria and you feel better sooner. Hope you feel better soon no matter what.
Betty Cracker
@Haydnseek: Have you ever read “Confederacy of Dunces”? Walker Percy wrote the forward. I’ve always been grateful John Kennedy Toole’s mother had the good sense to bring her deceased son’s novel to Walker Percy.
jacy
Sincerest sympathies and wishes for a speedy return to normal. Nausea is no fun. :(
MomSense
I keep getting surprised by the Wonkette headlines on the sight. I’m so used to seeing the old ones that I keep thinking did Newsmax get a clue and a sense of humor and where are all the spices that stop heart disease, alzheimers, and diabetes?
sparrow
@AliceBlue: At least the root canal is sometimes followed with pain pills.
AliceBlue
@sparrow:
Yeah, but pain pills make me nauseous.
Haydnseek
@Betty Cracker: I’ve read it several times, and recommended it to like-minded friends. It seems to enjoy a small blip in popularity every once in awhile. Some novels seem to have this subterranean life, where they erupt at random times and are spread through social media by readers on goodreads type sites. I’m glad.
ETA: “My Valve!”
ixnay
Oh, Betty, I’m so sorry. I can only wish for you to always be near enough to a trash can/sink/toilet: I completely ruined a computer keyboard recently with a bad projectile incident (sorry, probably TMI). For whatever reason, probably due to overwhelming anxiety about nausea/vomiting, I have found that a dose of Xanax (if you can keep it down for 15 minutes) is very helpful. That said, I am not a physician, only a veterinarian. And an anxious one, at that.
Anyway, hope it’s better soon. Add a little honey and salt to the water to keep the humours happy.
Oh, and the raw oyster thing? The big deal is NO antacids before raw oysters: the normal stomach acid is critical for killing off the vibrio vulnificus (normal oyster flora) that will threaten to do you in. Been there, almost ended up in the ER.
Please feel better soon.
ixnay
Elizabelle
@MomSense: Yeah, there’s another thing to celebrate for this new year.
Wonkette > Newsmax by a factor of at least 10.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@AliceBlue:
The endodontist tentatively offered to let me have Vicodin and I said NO! The one time they gave me Vicodin, I discovered the hard way that I’m one I the people who gets the side effect of uncontrollable vomiting. G had to run out and buy a bottle of Emetrol so I could get it under control. 4 am fun!
Betty Cracker
@Haydnseek: I read it every five years or so. So funny.
beth
Upchucked on the rug at my feet…
It’s always the freakin rug or carpet, isn’t it? In my house that’s 80% wood floors my dog never fails to puke on something that will stain.
Feel better soon, Betty.
J R in WV
Sorry you have the heaves. It’s awful. I got into something that forced me to toss every couple of minutes. I would drink a glass of water, and then toss it back. [was I glad the toilet was recently cleanedm cause I was huggin’ it!] This went on for at least a couple of hours… I was exhausted by the time it let up and I could go to bed.
I find that drinking water to toss is so much better than dry heaves.
But there’s really no way to make it better.
Get well soon!
MomSense
@Elizabelle:
So far 2015 could use a lot more happy things.
I just saw the news about the Boko Haram massacre on top of the tragedies in Paris.
Betty Cracker
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): I had that Vicodin reaction too, which I discovered when I took some of my husband’s leftover V (from a knee injury) after I dropped a heavy knife on one foot, slashing a toe severely, and then accidentally knocked a cast-iron skillet onto my other foot while hopping around and screaming about the toe. No, I’m not related to Cole. Why do you ask?
MomSense
@beth:
I thought I was the only one! Never ever fails. Even my kids when they were little would pretty much run through an entire house of wood floors and puke on an area rug.
Lavocat
Just curious: are you also one of those fragile souls who vomit @ the sight or sound or smell or touch of OTHER vomit? Also, does this happen with ALL vomit or just human vomit? I knew a girl who was so susceptible to vomiting that any sight, sound, touch, or even smell of ANY vomit would set her off. Of course, being a young boy, I had to test each and every one of these premises, much to my extreme, childish pleasure. It’s amazing how much fluids human have in them.
Roger Moore
@Betty Cracker:
Your bodies may not be related, but you’re kindred souls.
RepubAnon
One easy cure for nausea: don’t listen to Fox News!
;)
Hope you’re feeling better soon…
Glidwrith
Get some Gatorade if you can. I find it helps immensely with the fatigue and headache that always comes with upchucking and loss of fluid. After that, be a BRAT (banana, rice, applesauce, dry toast); helps get your delicate innards back up and running (so to speak).
ETA – I also time how long between heaves; it helps me endure when I see the time between hugging the porcelain god increasing. Good wishes to you!
Hungry Joe
Addendum to yesterday’s 600+ comments on “Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I”:
I’ve solved the grammatical problem in the Doors’ “Touch Me.” How about —
“Till the stars fall in the sea / for you and me”
Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?
askew
I am so sorry Betty. I hate the stomach flu more than anything and it is running rampant in Minnesota right now. My niece that I was playing with last night woke up with a 102 temp and the stomach bug is flying around the daycare. I am hoping it skips her and that I don’t pick it up.
John Revolta
There have been various attempts to make a film version of Confederacy and, probably fortunately, nothing has come of them. However, I’m still sad that the Belushi version never got to happen.
You can argue forever about what kind of job Belushi would’ve done as Ignatius, but for me the real tragedy is that they reportedly had Ruth Gordon lined up to play Miss Trixie. Just think!
Felonius Monk
I hope you feel better soon, Betty. Try some coca-cola syrup for the nausea.
Look on the bright side regarding said Boxer dog. At least, he/she did not take a dump at your feet. Empathy is always better than rejection — even if you have to clean up the mess.
Tree With Water
B.C. Your dog vomit story serves to illustrate how rock ribbed conservatives view big government liberals (you being the conservative and the dog representing well intentioned lefties).
raven
@Lavocat: If you are going to go on fishing boats like I do you had better be able to hack other people spewing. The only time I got sick was on my great Maui trip and I powered through it while 4 others just gave up and lay in the cabin for 12 hours.
raven
@Felonius Monk: We always got 7up!
Hungry Joe
@Haydnseek: ” ‘Oooo-eee,’ said the cloud of smoke.”
John Revolta
And, also too, regardless of the musical merits of the Doors song, it strikes me as being stupid in the extreme to argue about the grammar in a rock’n’roll song. Huh?
“I Can’t Get Any Satisfaction”
Yeah, much better.
trollhattan
While the world continued heading to hell in this really nifty handcart, this happened locally.
Am certain Rush and other Concerned Patriots will put out the clarion call that a dangerous DFH is again in our midst. In the meantime, WTF FBI?
Mike J
@John Revolta: Who’s zooming whom?
trollhattan
@John Revolta:
Yeah, and how about “Lend Me a Dime” huh? This grammatical aggression will not stand, man.
Iowa Old Lady
I’m working on this 2500 piece jigsaw puzzle I got for Christmas. I’ve been puzzling over an edge piece and another one I hooked to it because I already finished the edge. Turns out those pieces are duplicates. This fills me with me with fear that I don’t have all the real pieces.
Violet
@Iowa Old Lady: We did a jigsaw puzzle I got as a Christmas present this year as well. There was one piece that looked exactly like an edge piece but it turned out not to be. Could you have that issue? I guess if the design is exactly the same that’s a problem unless it’s one of those impossible puzzles where all the design is all white or whatever.
Betty Cracker
@Lavocat: I used to be, but motherhood toughened me up considerably.
@John Revolta: Ruth Gordon would have been terrific. I don’t know if Belushi could have pulled off the pomposity of Ignatius — maybe. Jackie Weaver would make a great Mrs. Reilly, and Sarah Silverman would be a good Myrna.
Linnaeus
@trollhattan:
Proof, of course, that we should make sure that our government has as broad power as possible to combat terrorism. What’s a few mistakes here and there?
GregB
I must protest the bigotry evident in the picture of an obviously drunk orange person vomiting.
It’s anti-Boehneretic.
trollhattan
@Linnaeus:
Yup. Next to conducting a trial, sentencing and punishment with seconds of encountering a suspect, letting the authorities conduct show trials to keep “dangerous” people away from society should be our top priority. In the meantime, MOAR AMMO FOR EVERYBODY ELSE.
jl
@GregB: Poor Boehner has already had his manhood questioned this week by bullying, flesh-eating cave men GOPers, and now you have to pile on. And in the name of PC? The poor man said he was hurt and close to tears. That is cruel and unfair.
trollhattan
@GregB:
Orange you glad it’s not the actual Boehner?
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@Betty Cracker:
I was on crutches at the time, because my knee surgery had been a couple of days before, so I had to stand and try to aim as best I could. As far as I know, my aim was pretty good, though G wouldn’t have told me if I missed because it just would have made me feel worse.
He came to check up on me when it first started happening and I ordered him to leave because I could not have any form of conversation at that point. Apparently I sounded like the demon in Amityville Horror: “GET. OUT.”
trollhattan
@Betty Cracker:
C’mon now, the two of youse have never been seen in the same place. Nevar!
What are your thoughts on floors, and the mopping thereof?
Linnaeus
@trollhattan:
Price of freedom ‘n’ all, you know….
John Revolta
@trollhattan: It isn’t me.
It isn’t me.
I’m not a Senator’s son.
Lavocat
@Betty Cracker: Oh, yeah. Once you become a parent, you effectively become a connoisseur of fine puke. “You think THAT is puke!? I’ll show you puke!” Dog puke, though, can be truly vile stuff.
raven
@John Revolta: ain’t not isn’t
trollhattan
@Lavocat:
Not sure which is worse, the puke or the puke sound effects. A large dog puking makes a phenomenal racket and the frenzy to rush said dog outside in time can be a source of injury and broken household stuff.
Tree With Water
@jl: Let’s all take a cue from Charles Pierce, and mail jars filled with two balls (rubber, tennis, baseball, etc.) to The Speaker with a note attached asking, “Are these them?”.
ruemara
I think I’m coming down with something, because I’m having the chills. But I gave in to the cold, went to the Goodwill and found a good raincoat with a liner for 25$. I hope this is a 24 hour bug.
Iowa Old Lady
@Violet: The design of the two duplicate pieces is exactly the same. We’ll see what happens.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@trollhattan:
It bothers me that nowadays the SOP when prosecutors are caught in misconduct is for them to force the convicted person into accepting a lesser charge under the threat of having to undergo yet another trial rather than saying, “We fucked up” and releasing them. It’s partially lawsuit avoidance when they know damn well they should be sued, but it really pisses me off that they’re allowed to claim they still got it right by forcing someone to plead to something they didn’t even fucking do in the first place.
Couldn't Stand the Weather
@Betty Cracker:
LULz.
I have had many household injuries, so I can definitely commiserate. Feel better.
Can’t recommend oysters of any type, cooked or raw. They’ll tear me up regardless.
And instruct your dog to do as you say, not as you do.
trollhattan
File under “never let a good international distraction go unexploited.”
trollhattan
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
Yup. Other than the no-longer-young man going free, the only positive from the whole affair is the lambasting the judge laid on them. Am sure they’ll promise to do better the next (“find a better judge” that is).
narya
I may be the only person for whom this is true, but I absolutely could not get through “Confederacy of Dunces.”
R-Jud
@Lavocat: My daughter was seized by a bug on New Year’s Eve– about an hour into a trans-Atlantic flight. Really, really not fun.
Gin & Tonic
@narya: You aren’t.
schrodinger's cat
My latest FP, this time on Animal Captions, Catzilla + Godzilla will take on the world…
Gravenstone
@Lavocat: /holds up a hand
I have a very powerful sympathetic vomit reflex, at least when it is of human origin. A few years back I was with a bunch of friends, most of whom had kids. One of said kidlings, a girl of about 6 came out to the dining room where we were all eating. She happens to catch my eye and is focused on me when I notice she’s looking a trifle distressed. Suddenly up came the river of vomit! I quickly got up from the table and walked away down the adjacent hall t o keep from joining her. Meanwhile, all the parents at the table got up in unison to begin the well practiced routine of comforting the child and cleaning up the mess. Fortunately for the homeowner, she’d gotten onto the wooden floor and not the thick pile carpetting adjacent.
muddy
Some chunks of ginger steeped to make a tea can be helpful. I just put it in the microwave. Horrible to be nauseated, you really can’t think about anything else. Pain is much preferable.
Linnaeus
@narya:
Eh, that’s understandable. It’s a very dense book.
Hungry Joe
@John Revolta: For god’s sake, of course a lot of (most?) songs are, and should be, written at a casual level of discourse — even non-grammatically; we were just having fun with some Doors lyrics. A lot of people here (myself included) are Secret Grammar Police, and for some reason “for you and I” always grates, while — just for example — “I ain’t got no cigarettes” most decidedly does not. It’s not as if we think that “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?” should actually be … well, I can’t even type such an abomination.
Also: Our 19-year-old cat has always issued eerie yowls for about 15-20 seconds before she throws up. If we’re really on our game it gives us just enough time to pick her up and hustle her out the door. A very polite cat, indeed.
Elizabelle
@Gin & Tonic:
@narya:
Yeah, I gotta pick up “Dunces” again and give it a try. Parts of it were very, very funny, but for some reason it did not hold my interest.
No book before its time.
ThresherK
@John Revolta: Isn’t That A Shame?
(h/t Pat Boone)
AliceBlue
@narya:
Rest assured you are not alone. I had heard of the book for years and my co-worker said it was the most hilarious thing she had ever read. I managed to get through it (“maybe I’ll start laughing on the next page”), but I was thoroughly underwhelmed. I have a well-developed sense of humor; I don’t know what the problem was with that book.
schrodinger's cat
Ginger tea, steep ginger with loose tea leaves while making tea. Or if you don’t want the caffeine, leave the tea leaves out.
Randy P
@Gravenstone: Wasn’t there a huge sympathetic vomiting scene in the pie-eating story-within-a-story in Stephen King’s “The Body” (which became the movie “Stand by Me”)? Been years since I read that but I seem to recall that was how the story ended. I imagine that part is a little hard for the queasy-of-stomach to get through.
@Betty: “I defy a man afflicted with nausea to give a single thought to these vast subjects”
Lately when I have a head cold, as I did much of this week (acquired on the flight back from visiting family), I’ve taken to trying to ponder the question of why a sinus headache should affect your ability to do higher-level thinking. If my toe was sore, I say to myself, I would still be able to do my job. If my back was out (a more frequently-occurring joy of encroaching age), I could still lie on my back and, to the best of my knowledge, function.
But if the pain is in my sinuses, suddenly I can’t think. Why is that?
Of course, the pain being where it is and having the effect it does, I don’t ponder these questions very deeply.
trollhattan
@ThresherK:
Has anybody seen Bat Boone and Willard Romney together? Pat could release the canines and Willard could handle the Little Richard covers.
Ruckus
Got violently sick once on a work road trip. I’ll spare you all the description other than to note that Linda Blair had nothing on me in The Exorcist, not volume, not color, not distance. Other than I was in a public place, not home.
Amir Khalid
For a while, my heart failure made me too weak to digest my food. I spent much of 2006 throwing up much, sometimes most, of what I ate. Which wasn’t much because all that vomiting discouraged me from eating. I lost about 40lbs. Fun times.
ixnay
@Randy P: Head pain is pretty much inescapable, in my experience. Sinus/tooth/ear/whatever: it’s impossible to get away. I don’t know why, either, except that it IS in your head, and YOU are mostly in your head.
All that said: something like Afrin, followed by liberal use of a neti pot (as warm as you can stand it: bacteria and viruses do not like high temperatures, which is part of why we develop fevers) WILL help.
As always, I am not a physician, merely a veterinarian who experiments liberally on myself and my loved ones.
MattF
@Betty Cracker: Word of advice. If you ever find yourself using crutches– Always Wear Shoes. ‘Nuff said
mdblanche
@trollhattan: Didn’t Pat Boone have a punk rock phase? I really can’t imagine Willard singing anything other than “A Bicycle Built for Two” in a rallentando monotone.
sharl
@mdblanche:
Too soon.
TOO…SOON!
Roger Moore
@Iowa Old Lady:
You’ll get extra pieces once in a while. My nephew brought a jigsaw puzzle to our family’s Thanksgiving, and we wound up with two extra pieces when it was finished. They were interior pieces with a distinctive design, so we were able to find exactly their place in the puzzle and see that there were exact duplicates. We were worried about missing pieces, but they were all there.
trollhattan
@mdblanche:
Metal! Which, I’m guessing (since I haven’t listened) is roughly as fetching as Willard’s very brief rap career.
“Whom? Whom?”
Amir Khalid
@sharl:
I have, and love, Pat Boone’s In a Metal Mood album. In the liner notes, he says he recorded the songs — Smoke On The Water, Stairway to Heaven, Holy Diver, Panama etc. — because he liked them as songs. He got some of the original artists to play on his versions too. His versions aren’t what you’d call rockin’, but I do find them, well, intriguing.
trollhattan
@Roger Moore:
Somewhere else on the planet is a really pissed family missing two puzzle pieces.
mdblanche
@trollhattan: My mistake. My knowledge of music is mostly confined to genres that use words like “rallentando.”
trollhattan
@mdblanche: You are to be congratulated, not belittled for your lack of knowledge re. les affaires Boone.
sharl
@Amir Khalid: To each, his or her own. Mr. Boone was never my cup of tea, no matter what he sang, or how he sang it.
I like to think he was – at least in part – inspiration for Jim Henson’s Wayne and Wanda. Now if Pat could get an intro from Sam the Eagle during one of his numbers – THAT I would watch!
scuffletuffle
@Litlebritdifrnt: its there somewhere, I just watched it a few nights ago
trollhattan
@sharl:
As a reminder to you gentlepeople on just who and what Mr. Boone is.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@trollhattan:
AFAICT, 90 percent of the wingers who claim that Kenyans told them that President Obama was born in Kenya forgot that he’s actually Barack Obama JUNIOR. As is, he has the same name as his father, who actually was born in Kenya. So if you ask if “Barack Obama” was born in Kenya without specifying Junior or Senior, there’s a good chance you’ll get the wrong answer for President Obama.
And, yes, I really do think they’re that stupid. Well, Pat Boone is, anyway.
sharl
@trollhattan: Hah, I knew he was a wingnut, but forgot about him being a birther to boot.
Pogonip
@Amir Khalid: Amir, I was tickled when you defended Puff the Magic Dragon, but THIS is going too far! Repent, man, before you get a visit from the Ghost of Music Past!
Pogonip
@Hungry Joe: Roger Miller, unlIke Jim Morrison, never took himself too seriously, so we let Roger get away with more.
Pogonip
@Lavocat: When I was a kid my mom had a bout of temporary insanity and left one of those giant boxes of Valentine candy on a low table when we all went to bed. Dog ate it, box and all. We were finding puddles of puke for DAYS.
Nowadays people think chocolate is lethal for dogs, but Fuzzy was fine once she got rid of the candy ( and box), and I don’t remember Mom having to take her to the vet. Maybe it’s high-fructose corn syrup that’s killing modern dogs and chocolate is getting the blame?
Pogonip
@mdblanche: When you’re rockin’ and rallentando, can you hear your mama call?
Lynn Dee
Walker Percy. There’s a name I haven’t heard for a while. I remember really enjoying reading him. Not sure about that quote though. What’s it from? That horrible Thanatos Syndrome? That may be the last book of his I read.
Betty Cracker
@Lynn Dee: It’s from “The Second Coming.”
Lavocat
@trollhattan: The one thing that makes me gag is when I SEE a dog puke AND THEN another dog comes along AND EATS IT! That’s just too much even for me.
Lavocat
@Gravenstone: I recall a friend getting sick @ a concert back in high school, in the 80s, and vomiting all over the person in front of him. I was at a complete loss as to what to do. The guy that was vomited on stood up, turned around, and proceeded to inflict a most awesome ass-beating on my STILL vomiting friend. Of course, I came to my friend’s assistance. When the cops arrived, we were ALL covered in puke. To this day, I remember the cop’s words to us: “Ya know what? I’m good.” And he just walked away. I’m guessing he felt he wasn’t paid enough to deal with such vile stuff – or he didn’t want his car’s interior to reek of puke forever.
Pogonip
@Lavocat: And then we let them lick our faces.
Lavocat
@Pogonip: Not me. Have you ever dealt with dog spittle? Have you ever experienced how slimy that shit really is? No, there shall be no licking of ANYTHING, thank you very much.
John Weiss
Aw, Betty, I’m sorry. I hope you feel better soon.
Puking is my least favorite bodily activity even though I know it’s usually for the best. Urp, slop / Bring the mop.
jw
jafd
Hope you’ve gotten better from your attack of Prince Upton’s Disease.
Prince Upton’s Disease ???, you ask…
Well, if you want to hear the Most Gross Joke Ever…
(if not, avert eyes now!)
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There’s a young man over in Merrie Olde, and one of these years, Ghod willing and the melting ice don’t wash us all away, he will follow his grandma and dad to the throne of… who knows, maybe by that time United Europe may have decided that they need a titular soverign.
Anyway, when he was born, there were suggestions that he be named Prince Upton…
that way, his folks could have signed their greeting cards
“Up, Chuck, and Di”