Choose your pre-Holiday player: Cranky or anxious. pic.twitter.com/ovBNkS3DbX
— Amy Mackinnon (@ak_mack) December 14, 2021
I couldn't figure out where the comma(s) in "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" should go, so I hit myself in the face. pic.twitter.com/BNaglwpzYt
— Ramses the Pigeon (@RamsesThePigeon) December 1, 2021
At our local school, rather than celebrate Christmas, they are putting on a play about a middle Eastern refugee family being refused shelter.
It's Political Correctness gone mad mate.— James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) November 28, 2021
In case you’re worried your parents and/or housemates may be getting a little too into the decorative spirit…
A German household has taken Christmas to a new level. They have set up 444 decorated Christmas trees in their home for a new world record pic.twitter.com/M1GWjTcweV
— Reuters (@Reuters) December 7, 2021
PHOTO GALLERY: In the darkest days of the year, in a very dark time, there is a longing for illumination. And so, all around the world, the holiday lights go on — some of them humble, some of them spectacular, all of them a welcome respite from the dark. https://t.co/tpQ5yBrOGY
— The Associated Press (@AP) December 20, 2021
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Cranky or anxious? I need that third choice
KrackenJack
I’ll pick “crankious” as my player. Happy post-Solstice. Waiting on my mac and cheese to finish baking.
J,FL is of the same mind.
Jerzy Russian
If I had to choose, I am probably closer to that cranky dog right now.
Also, what the fuck does banning the word “Christmas” have to do with encouraging students to get a “jab”?
VeniceRiley
500k a day by Boxing Day. Crankxious indeed. But I guess I just have a head cold or sinus thang. Almost over it in time for the wave.
My roomie did up the apartment and there are even fake presents for atmosphere. It’s been this way since before thanksgiving!
Chris T.
In re that tweet:
That’s a trick question. There is no punctuation in music. It’s all sharps, flats, and naturals instead.
(do I need a //s ?)
gene108
This picture doesn’t make sense, from the last tweet, where they have photos around the world of lights driving out the long December nights:
Sunrises at 5:13 am and sets at 7:00 pm in Johannesburg. That’s 13 hours and 47 minutes of day light for them. They really aren’t trying to light up the darkest days of the year they have.
It is a pretty picture, though
HumboldtBlue
For the past eight years, I have been calling the grandnieces and nephews — and my local three girls, daughters of my closest group of friends whom I’ve known since birth — on Xmas eve as Elvis Elfington, Union shop boss at the North Pole Toy Factory and reminding them to be prepared for Santa’s arrival.
Elvis Elfington is very east coast in his pronunciation and accent with the nasal affectation of an old-timey newsreel/radio program, and he makes sure the kids know where Santa’s sleigh is at the time of the call (he’s now somewhere over Piscataway and should be in Hometown, WV in an hour or so) and I love the fact that every call I’ve made to WV has been on a landline with an answering machine and is still accessible today.
The calls include a reference to each kid with a specific nickname (Nya the papaya, Mila the heart steelah etc) that changed each year as the kids aged. I’ve worked in school, sports, hobbies, whatever makes it unique to the kid, and it’s become quite the tradition.
How do I know? Well, this year I proposed coming clean to my Cali girls, one of whom, the oldest, now 12, figured me out two years ago (to be fair she literally walked in on me trying to hide away from the Xmas party to call West Virginia and leave a message for the four kids there) but the other two, 9 and 8, are looking forward to the elf call with great excitement.
My plan was to surprise the Cali gang by making the call to WV in the open in the kitchen to come clean that it was Uncle HB who was making the calls, but moms and dads sent me a collective “OOF, they’re excited for that” so I had to immediately backtrack.
The oldest back east is now 12 and is in the know as far as it’s not real but doesn’t know it’s me (he was the reason for the first call in the first place, as oldest) and he won’t rat me out to his little brother and sister while their cousin, my former Humboldt Homie, is still in the “magic of the season” at age 10.
So I won’t be coming clean after all.
The only request I have is Betty Cracker re-telling the story of her daughter and the XBox circa 2010 or so. It’s a classic.
Comrade Colette
I need some help from the hive mind. I think it’s OK up to “thrall,” but after that … meh. Ideas?
Ahem:
? Now boost ye, merry gentlefolk
lest Covid you dismay
A novel variant hath come
to spoil Christmas Day
To hold us all in viral thrall
‘neath anti-vaxxers’ sway (Ed.: Yeah, weak)
O o tidings of omicron, omicron (that first ‘O’ wants to be the start of ‘omicron,’ but it doesn’t scan)
O o tidings of omicron. ?
HumboldtBlue
@Comrade Colette:
‘neath covid’s vicious sway.
HumboldtBlue
@HumboldtBlue:
Meh, that’s even worse.
Comrade Colette
@HumboldtBlue: Nah, I think it’s actually better – the problem is “‘neath,’ which is just awkward.
And I love your Uncle Elvis routine! I suspect this will be the last year you can pull it off, so make the most of it. Kids talk.
mrmoshpotato
And where is this festive German mansion?
mrmoshpotato
@Chris T.: Here you go.
HumboldtBlue
@Comrade Colette:
Hell yeah they do. The youngest is five, so it will continue for a few years, and now that I think about it, why the hell not keep calling each year? Ain’t gonna hurt nobody.
Chetan Murthy
@HumboldtBlue: It’s sweet. When these kids have kids themselves, they’ll be wanting you to call ’em. Count on it.
Steeplejack
Another Christmas tree. Comments are funny.
Brachiator
I had to go to the dentist today to replace a crown. I think I’m close to “bah, humbug!”
John Revolta
LOVE THE CRANKY DOG!!
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Brachiator: That’s what my Santa hat says. I may wear it to work tomorrow.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Brachiator: That’s what my Santa hat says. I may wear it to work tomorrow.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Brachiator: That’s what my Santa hat says. I may wear it to work tomorrow.
trollhattan
Reason why Devin Nunes’ cow’s human isn’t running.
VeniceRiley
@HumboldtBlue: On my tiny phone screen in the dark, I saw:
Elvis EFFINGTON.
hahahahHh Your nym from now on, in my head.
trollhattan
@mrmoshpotato:
Are the trees like this? {actual size} ?
HumboldtBlue
@VeniceRiley:
Fuck it, it works!
Yutsano
I’m running the office by myself tomorrow. This normally wouldn’t be a problem except I’m double booked at the end of the day plus I need to leave a few minutes early. I’ll try not to be cranky tomorrow but no guarantees.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
@?BillinGlendaleCA: My apologies for the triplicate posting.
mrmoshpotato
@trollhattan: No idea.
mrmoshpotato
@?BillinGlendaleCA: You know what you did!
JaySinWa
@Chris T.: You left out the rests.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@mrmoshpotato: And I’ll do it again, and again…
HumboldtBlue
@mrmoshpotato:
Three times over.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@JaySinWa: No rest for the wicked.
opiejeanne
@Comrade Colette: Needs one more syllable in the line: to spoil Christmas Day, unless “spoil” is sung with massive diphthong.
I propose “to spoil our Christmas Day”.
I think the rest is pretty darned good. It scans.
JaySinWa
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Are you calling me restless?
JaySinWa
Youtube version of the proof reader song from the post https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxfxy-3dGz0
A bit higher resolution they say. No oxford commas were debated. But it is comma[n] sense.
JWR
I’ve been away all day. Has this been mentioned?
Is Jordan the first, or the second Rep called to at least talk to the committee?
ETA also, too:
opiejeanne
My son asked if my future daughter-in-law could come and bring her two kids tomorrow, to hang out with us while we get ready for the family Christmas Eve dinner, and I’m looking forward to this.
But this is very strange to me, since she and the kids are Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I asked if they’d like to help with Christmas cookies and they said YES! and right now I am so damned confused. It’s like a fascination with we pagans who celebrate holidays while thinking we’re Christians, like she wants to study us and take notes or something.
My future grandchildren, ages 12 and 14, were fascinated with the ornaments on our Christmas Tree when they came to meet us two weeks ago, before we went shopping for clothes for them to wear to the wedding. They are great kids and they started calling my son “Dad” when the engagement was announced, but the boy was calling him that already.
They are welcome to join us, but they just can’t. It’s a wrong thing, to their mom and probably to them.
opiejeanne
@JWR: I saw the thing about Jordan on tv around noon, PST, but the Flynn story is new to me. I don’t know if either have been discussed, but the Jordan story is being hooted about on Twitter with great amusement.
JWR
@opiejeanne: I heard about the Jordan thing on broadcast TV news. (Those of us in SoCal are blessed by our lack of a Sinclair station.) Not sure about the Flynn case, but the ruling came back PDQ, considering he only filed his suit yesterday. Sorry Mikey, No delaying tactics for YOU! ;)
opiejeanne
@JWR: One of our stations is Sinclair. I think it’s the ABC affiliate. Right now we can’t get NBC, so CBS and certain MSNBC shows are our news sources.
satby
@opiejeanne: I had Jehovah Witness kids (two sisters) as babysitters for my kids when they were young. They loved babysitting during Halloween and Christmas so that they could “help” walk the kids for trick or treat or decorate the tree or whatever. I always told them to be sure to ask their parents first and they always told me their parents wouldn’t mind. They enjoyed it more than my kids.
So many religions (Christian ones anyway) are so bleak it’s no wonder participation falls each year.
opiejeanne
@satby: My understanding is that most kids raised by JWs leave that religion as soon as possible.
I agree that the pious sourness of so many versions of Christianity is not a big selling point.
SFAW
@Brachiator:
Most royals just go to the hardware store to get a little gold polish, and maybe a buffing wheel, and the crown looks good as new, Your Majesty.
As an aside, mine broke a week or so ago, getting replaced in late January. [Have a temporary one to tide me over until then.]
Starfish
@opiejeanne: Talk to the mom about what they can and cannot do. There are so many complicated things heaped on to Christmas, and most people will participate in some of them or co-opt pieces of it.
I sent my mom a candle that was definitely Christmas-y, and she used it for Yalda.
A friend asked my address a few years ago, and he sent gifts for Krishnamas to reconnect with old friends.
Starfish
@opiejeanne: The Jehovah’s Witnesses that I know have stayed Jehovah’s Witnesses even when it got hard.
It got hard when someone got a blood cancer, and their religion does not allow for blood transfusions. There is a lot in the medical literature about figuring out cancer treatments for Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Uncle Cosmo
Technically, every vowel sound in spoken American English (regardless of regional dialect) is a diphthong – it starts as one sound & ends up as another. When a USAn learns a foreign language that is by & large the single most identifiable aspect of the mother tongue carried over into the new one. You can learn 100,000 words and pronounce to perfection the glottal “r” of French or the “rz” of Polish or Czech but if you don’t learn to always clip your vowels into a single sound, you will be instantly recognizable as a Yank.
opiejeanne
@Uncle Cosmo: It can be hard to get rid of those diphthongs, and the amount of the secondary vowel sounds varies by region. My degree is in music, and I had an excellent choir teacher who helped us rid our singing of diphthongs when singing in Latin. Every year the new members had to be introduced to “pure” vowel sounds. Sometimes that was very amusing. Doc grew up in Kansas and had managed to rid his speech of the flat nasal sounds he had learned there but he would demonstrate his original accent when explaining what he didn’t want to hear from us. I grew up Southern California* with (we think) a fairly neutral accent, but my vowels when speaking tend to end in “EEE”, and I can hear the extra sounds of my mother’s Missouri accent slipping into my own speech sometimes: Warsh the cat!
I’m as bad as Henry Higgins, trying to identify which region people are from based on the sounds that come out of their pieholes.
*People from Northern California sound “different” to me, as do people native to western Washington.
opiejeanne
@Starfish: Thanks. Right now we are still feeling our way, so this is surprising to us. I have known a small handful of JWs, some well enough to be dear to me, and I’m being careful of feelings.
sab
@opiejeanne: They knock on anonymous doors every week. Aren’t they actually quite resilient?
Another Scott
@opiejeanne: I chuckle at memories of my dad…
“I’d like a glass of warter.”
And there’s the infamous Merry Mary got Married.
Cheers,
Scott.