• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

This blog will pay for itself.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

I was promised a recession.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable VA House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Mr. Optimus or Sgt. Prime

Mr. Optimus or Sgt. Prime

by John Cole|  March 20, 20033:17 pm| 6 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

Via Trojan Horseshoes the most bizarre military story I have heard in a long time:

A member of Ohio’s 5694th National Guard Unit in Mansfield legally changed his name to a Transformers toy.

Optimus Prime is heading out to the Middle East with his guard unit on Wednesday to provide fire protection for airfields under combat.

“On Sunday, we were awarded as the best firefighting unit in the Army National Guard in the entire country,” said Prime. “That was a big moment for us.”

Prime took his name from the leader of the Autobots Transformers, which were popular toys and a children’s cartoon in the 1980s.

He legally changed his name on his 30th birthday and now it’s on everything from his driver’s licence, to his military ID, to his uniform.

“They razzed me for three months to no end,” said Prime. “They really dug into me about it.”

“I got a letter from a general at the Pentagon when the name change went through and he says it was great to have the employ of the commander of the Autobots in the National Guard.”

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « War Coverage
Next Post: Saddam’s True Identity »

Reader Interactions

6Comments

  1. 1.

    walter

    March 20, 2003 at 5:20 pm

    What is worse is that the General really thought a Transformer was in the Army National Guard.

  2. 2.

    David Perron

    March 21, 2003 at 10:35 am

    I think this guy needs to be suspended pending psyche eval. Good grief.

  3. 3.

    RHJunior

    March 21, 2003 at 8:40 pm

    I dunno, I thought it was kinda geek-cool.
    Hell, if we can have Rip Torn, River Phoenix, and Moon Unit Zappa, gimme an Autobot!

  4. 4.

    bower

    March 25, 2003 at 1:01 am

    What is worse is that walter doesnt know that the General was making a JOKE.

  5. 5.

    Optimus Prime

    April 12, 2003 at 2:00 pm

    For those of you with the negative comments… get a life. Just be happy, I am.

  6. 6.

    Razz

    April 23, 2003 at 2:42 pm

    What is worse is that ALL OF U R UNDER MY CONTROL. CEASE AND DESIST AND GET ME AN ICE CREAM SODA.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

VA Purple House Delegates

Donate

Political Action

Postcard Writing Information

Recent Comments

  • schrodingers_cat on Schrödinger’s Speaker (Open Thread) (Oct 3, 2023 @ 11:12am)
  • Ken on Schrödinger’s Speaker (Open Thread) (Oct 3, 2023 @ 11:12am)
  • Sure Lurkalot on Schrödinger’s Speaker (Open Thread) (Oct 3, 2023 @ 11:11am)
  • Chris T. on Schrödinger’s Speaker (Open Thread) (Oct 3, 2023 @ 11:09am)
  • Frankensteinbeck on Schrödinger’s Speaker (Open Thread) (Oct 3, 2023 @ 11:09am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
What Has Biden Done for You Lately?

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Talk of Meetups – Meetup Planning

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Cole & Friends Learn Español

Introductory Post
Cole & Friends Learn Español

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!